Chapter 11: Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect 200 Creds

After helping Kasumi out, I spent some time perusing the medical data behind the Lazarus Project to figure out just what had been done to bring me back. Most of it went over my head. What little I did understand was... disconcerting.

Every one of my original organs was replaced by cloned organs due to systemic tissue damage, most of which had implants attached to augment or regulate their normal functions. The composition of my bones had been modified on the molecular level to make them more resilient, thanks to a bunch of implants that did some wacky techno voodoo. My muscles were enhanced with some kind of mesh that increased tensile strength and reduced likelihood of tearing. And I had a network of cloaking projectors embedded throughout my body that provided temporary invisibility from visual or technological eyes, not to mention the ability to impart extra kinetic energy to the first shot or two fired while cloaked. On top of that, there were plenty of reports indicating that I could research various synthetic weaves that would make my skin and bones more durable, not to mention speed up medi-gel delivery for accelerated healing. (1)

Yeah, I was rebuilt. Cerberus had the technology. So did that mean I was man or machine? Clichés aside, that was a really creepy question.

So I was a bit relieved when we went to prison. It provided a nice distraction.

Purgatory started out as an "ark ship" that held agricultural animals before being seized and repurposed by the Blue Suns into a maximum security prison ship. They held all sorts of prisoners, including people captured during Blue Sun operations, prisoners of war, and people sold by dirty politicians who wanted to outsource their prisoners. The worst of the worst were kept here. And Cerberus had paid good money to free one of them—'Jack'—to join me. I was starting to wonder whether I was skimming the cream of the crop or the bottom of the barrel.

I met the squad at the airlock, still pondering that question. Not surprisingly, everyone was fully armed with every weapon and upgrade I'd laid my hands since this ridiculous journey started. Standard procedure, even if we weren't going into a prison full of hardened criminals and mercs. I couldn't say that, though. Bad form. Might scare the squadmates. Or me. So I pasted a smirk on my face and said "Don't you guys think you're taking this a little too far."

"Not really," Jacob shrugged. "The way I see it, someone will start shooting within thirty minutes."

"Ten minutes or less," Garrus disagreed. "Probably less."

"We started a pool while we were waiting for you," Kasumi explained. "I've got credits on an hour."

"So little faith," I tsked. "Maybe this time it'll be different. Maybe it'll be a simple business transaction concluded with politeness and civility."

Everyone gave me this look.

"It could happen."

The look still persisted. I sighed. "Fine," I relented. It was good to see that they were being realistic. "But no grenades," I added. Just to assuage my wounded pride.

"Aww," Kasumi and Zaeed pouted. Well, Kasumi pouted. Zaeed... made a face that looked really, really creepy and wrong on so many levels.

"How many weapons do you wanna take with you anyway?" I asked. "You only have two arms, after all."

"Says the man with a pistol, a submachine gun, a sniper rifle and—"

"Excuse me," I interrupted before Miranda could finish, "but I was asking a question."

"I just get excited thinkin' about all those choices," Zaeed grinned. "Like to keep my options open."

"I don't plan on any shooting taking place during this pick-up," I said pointedly.

"Aww," Grunt pouted. Somehow, it didn't look so out of place.

"Desires versus reality. Poor comparison. Lack of similarity," Mordin declared.

Before I could continue my argument, the airlock opened. A couple mercs were waiting for us. "Welcome to the Purgatory, Shepard," one of them greeted me. "Your package is being prepped, and you can claim it shortly."

Not prisoner or person. Package. Interesting.

"As this is a high-security vessel, you'll need to relinquish your weapons before we proceed."

Like hell I would. "I can't do that," I replied.

Before the guard could say or do anything, a voice calmly spoke: "Everyone stand down."

A turian—one without any facial tattoos—had just walked through the door, his steady, confident steps identifying him as the boss. "Commander, I'm Warden Kuril, and this is my ship."

"Love what you've done with the place," I offered.

Kuril smiled politely. "Your weapons will be returned on the way out. You must realize this is just a standard procedure."

"We're not surrendering our weapons," I replied simply. "Period."

We stared at each other for a minute.

Kuril blinked first. "Let them proceed," he told his guards. "Our facility is more than secure enough to handle eight armed guests." Turning me, he said "We're bringing Jack out of cryo. As soon as the funds clear, you can be on your way."

He gestured for us to follow him. "If you'll follow me to Outprocessing for the pickup, Commander."

I signalled the squad to follow Kuril, who led us along a circular corridor. Large glass panels built into the walls allowed us to observe the chambers below. "Cellblock Two," he said, following our gaze. "As you can see, we keep tight control over the population."

We could see large robotic arms below moving chambers from one wall to the other. "Each prisoner's cell is a self-contained, modular unit," Kuril revealed. "I've blown a few out the airlocks as an example."

Well, hurray for you.

"The ship is made up of 30 cell blocks identical to this one—we house thousands of criminals. We can put the whole place in lockdown on a moment's notice. Nothing goes wrong here."

Clearly, he hadn't watched any vids in a while. Otherwise, he'd know better than to jinx things like that. "Can you tell me about Jack?" I asked.

To my surprise, Kuril looked nervous. "Cerberus hasn't told you?"

"Told me what?"

"Jack is the meanest handful of violence and hate I've ever encountered."

Great.

"You have no idea what a dangerous, crazy and powerful... well, you'll see soon enough."

Well now that I'd shaken him, maybe I could get some more answers. "I'm curious. How did you end up running this ship?"

"I was in law enforcement on Palaven," Kuril replied, "and got sick of seeing criminals escape out into the galaxy to carry on with their crimes."

"Tell me about it," Garrus muttered.

"Cops can't or won't do anything outside their supposed jurisdiction. Bounty hunters aren't dependable."

"You're not hiring the right ones," Zaeed interrupted.

Kuril ignored him and continued. "Eventually I hit upon this idea. Keep the criminals in space and the galaxy is a safer place."

"You do this because you think it's necessary," I summarized.

The warden nodded. "Every day I see the worst sapient life has to offer. Governments are soft, unwilling to make the hard choices. Someone had to stand up and make the galaxy safe."

"Maintaining a population this size in space can't be cheap," I observed. "What with the cost of fuel and all."

"We can cut corners that governments can't," Kuril disclosed. "And each prisoner brings in a fee from his homeworld. These individuals are violent, you see, and their home planets pay well to keep them here."

I was starting to see where this was going. "And if the homeworld doesn't want to pay?"

"We explain that we can't maintain prisoners without their help," Kuril smiled politely, "so we'll be forced to release them back onto their homeworld... at an unspecified place and time."

"So it's an extortion racket," Miranda interpreted.

She received a cold glare from Kuril for her blunt, albeit accurate, appraisal. "You don't have to agree with my methods, but don't question my motives. These are despicable people and I am keeping them locked up."

"Have you had any escape attempts?" Garrus smoothly intervened, as if he was asking out of professional curiosity.

"We're in space," Kuril sniffed. "They have nowhere to go and they know it. If the vacuum of space isn't enough of a deterrent, we have a fleet of fighters ready to blow them to dust. But still, we exercise extreme caution. These are dangerous individuals."

He gestured below, where two prisoners were getting into a fight. A nearby Blue Sun tapped his omni-tool. A machine of some kind popped out, generated kinetic barriers around each prisoner, and separated them.

"We have many ways to control the population," Kuril said, stopping at an intersection. I looked over at him.

"I'm going to confirm that the funds from Cerberus cleared," he explained. "Outprocessing is straight down this hallway. Just keep going past the interrogation rooms and the supermax wing. I'll catch up with you later... Shepard."

Garrus waited until Kuril disappeared before shaking his head. "I don't trust him."

"I have a bad feeling about this," Kasumi agreed.

I would have wondered if Garrus's feelings were due to turian prejudices regarding 'barefaced' turians, but Kasumi and I both had the same concerns. (2) And I doubted we were the only ones.

Around the corner, we saw a row of cells. A turian merc was standing outside one of them, watching another merc beat up the prisoner inside.

"Commander, you seeing this shit?" Jacob exclaimed.

"Inhumane," Mordin agreed. "Unacceptable. Violation of basic organic dignity."

The guard outside the cell noticed us. "Is there something I can do for you?" he asked.

"Why exactly are you beating up a prisoner who can't fight back?" I asked in return.

"This is a massage compared to what his victims went through," the guard retorted.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Really? I always thought the Blue Suns were a bunch of professionals. Professionals don't do this sort of thing. They've got more discipline than that."

Preachy crap, I know, but the Blue Suns prided themselves on being pros. If this guy had drunk enough of the proverbial punch, he just might fall for it.

The guard shifted uncomfortably on his feet. "We have orders."

"What? You're not important enough to make your own decisions?" I snorted.

"Well..."

"Oh, come on. Stop this. Do it because it's the 'right thing' and all that, or because pros don't stoop so low as to borrow from this punk's playbook."

"Yeah. You're right," he said after a minute. He opened a comm channel to his colleague. "Call it off. At least for now."

So all a guy had to do to stop the torture was to look all disapproving and go "Tsk, tsk?" Okay. Sure. Why not. Keep It Simple, Stupid, right? Satisfied that I'd done my good deed for the day, no matter how easy it was, I moved on. Well, I started to, before one of the other prisoners called me over.

"If you're buying prisoners, can you buy me?" he asked. "I don't care where you take me or what you do to me, man. It's gotta be better than this."

"Get yourself out," Grunt snorted. "We're here for Jack."

The prisoner—'Prisoner 780' according to his uniform—took a step back. "Jack? Forget what I just said. I don't wanna go nowhere with you."

Second guy to get freaked out by Jack. What did I get myself into?

"What do you know about Jack?" I asked.

"The worst trouble you ever saw, mixed with some crazy and way too much biotic power. That's all I'm saying."

"Why were they beating up that prisoner? Does he know something?"

He shook his head. "No, that's Bimmy—he don't know nothing. He offed someone in the showers yesterday, I think. Guy he killed was worth a lot to the warden. Yeah, sucks to be Bimmy right now."

"They were going at it pretty hard," I frowned. "Do they ever kill prisoners by accident?"

"Haven't heard of anyone dying," he shrugged. "Warden can't make money off of us if we're dead. Funny thing though—the more a guard does it, the meaner he gets. So they rotate them through."

Gee. What a shocker. But this guy brought up an interesting point, aside from the vicious cycle of abuse. "I thought this ship was a prison, not a market."

"Sometimes people buy cons so they can do some punishing of their own, if you understand," he replied. "Warden sells us to whoever can pay enough."

"So what are you in for?" I asked curiously.

The prisoner shrugged. "Oh. You know. I killed a few people. Only about 20 or so. Oh, and I blew up that one habitat. Small-time compared to most of the guys here."

That's all, huh? "I see," I said. "Well, I gotta go."

"Wish I could go," the prisoner muttered. "Haven't had a shower in three months."

With all the evidence that this 'prison' was basically one big joke, it didn't take a genius to predict that things might go south. So I really wasn't surprised when we entered Outprocessing, walked through it to the other side and opened the next door to pick up Jack—only to find a nice cozy little cell instead.

"My apologies, Shepard," Kuril said over the loudspeakers. "You're more valuable as a prisoner than a customer. Drop your weapons and proceed into this cell. You will not be harmed."

Oh, well if he said I wouldn't be harmed despite everything I'd seen and heard, then he must be telling the truth. Not. "Yeah, I don't think so. Tell you what, though: you hand over Jack, and we'll try our best not to kill all your guards."

"Activate systems!"

I turned to my squad and grabbed my sniper rifle. "Too much?" I asked.

"Not at all," Miranda shook her head.

"Glad you agree," I nodded. "I did try one more time to make peace."

"I noticed."

"I just wanted to avert any unnecessary violence."

"Very thoughtful of you, Commander."

"It was, wasn't it?" I said.

"Perhaps we can pat ourselves on the back after we deal with the mercs," Garrus suggested. "Team Two take cover on the right; Team One on the left."

I should explain that.

Before we arrived at Purgatory, I had made a few minor adjustments to the team compositions to balance them out. Miranda, Grunt and Kasumi would follow me; while Garrus led Jacob, Zaeed and Mordin. Following Garrus's suggestion, the two teams took cover behind some sofas.

"By the way," Garrus added idly, "that was just under seven minutes. I believe I won the bet."

The people who had taken part in the bet—which was everyone, by the way—had just enough time to groan before the first round of mercs barged in through the door. Miranda, Garrus and Kasumi staggered their EMPs to knock out as many shields as possible—and also reduce the time we'd have to wait until someone had an EMP charged up again. Mordin and I did the same with our plasma blasts. Between our various tricks and the sheer amount of firepower we had at our disposal, we mopped things up pretty quickly. Even the FENRIS mechs who tagged along—hoping to use us as a chew toy, no doubt—weren't much of a threat.

"Reinforce Outprocessing!" Kuril called out. "Shepard is loose!"

Hey! I'm a Spectre, not some animal running amok! "Time for us to get moving before we get pinned," I decided.

"Where are we going?" Jacob asked.

"Supermax wing," I replied. "Doesn't look like Kuril's handing over Jack, so we'll just have to help ourselves."

Just as we were about to leave, three more mercs showed up, with a pair of FENRIS mechs on their heels. "Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?" Zaeed asked.

"Too bad someone ordered us to leave them behind," Kasumi chimed in.

"And you listened to me?" I snorted.

Kasumi and Zaeed shook their heads and patted their pockets. "Thought so. Get ready," I said, grabbing a weapon off my back. I motioned for everyone to wait for a moment, hoping to time things just right. Then I gave the signal.

Kasumi tossed a flashbang grenade to blind and deafen the mercs—a little trick she picked up from our fun heist on Bekenstein. While they were incapacitated, Miranda launched an EMP to knock out the lead merc's shields. Zaeed's inferno grenade burned right through the mechs' armour just as I pulled the trigger on my grenade launcher. For some odd reason, it was fair sailing after that.

Shaking my sore hand, I led the squad out of Outprocessing and down to the supermax wing, taking out three more mercs along the way.

"Shepard is on the loose!" a technician was screaming as we entered the wing. "Repeat: Shepard is on the loose! Get people down—urk!" That last part was cut short by my sniper rifle. I didn't have time to set up a proper headshot, so I focused on his chest. Centre of mass was a larger target, and could still cause a quick kill. And no, that had nothing to do with my irritation with the Blue Suns for confusing me with some disobedient mutt.

We cased the room to make sure it was clear. Standard practise and for good reason—there was still a FENRIS mech in the room. One blast of flame, one concussive round and one EMP later, it was scrap metal.

Miranda moved over to access the computer console. She looked over the controls for a minute before turning to me. "If we hack this control, it will release Jack from cryo... along with opening every other door in the cellblock."

"Hmm. Interconnected controls. Opening one opens them all. Chaos," Mordin said.

"It's the only way," Zaeed shrugged.

Glancing over the controls, I concurred. "Then I'm doing it. Be ready."

As soon as I entered the command, an alarm sounded. A robotic arm swivelled out towards the centre of the room below us. The movement activated not one, not two, but three YMIR-class heavy mechs, all of whom powered up and turned towards the arm, which had clamped onto something cylindrical and was turning it around. With a hiss of gas from various nozzles, the arm lifted up, carrying a cylindrical tank with it. A tank with...

...well. That was different.

"That's Jack?" Jacob asked.

Garrus scratched his head in confusion. "Isn't Jack a female name?"

"Jack is... small," Grunt pronounced. I was equally confused. Jack was a woman of average height, clamped to a metal stand by restraints around her neck and wrists. Her head was shaved bald and she was sporting a very colourful top paired with baggy pants. Taking a closer look, I realized she wasn't wearing a top—aside from some leather straps that barely covered enough to be considered decent, her entire upper body was covered in tattoos.

Suddenly, Jack's eyes popped open. She yanked one arm free of her restraints and started tugging at her collar restraint. Then she yanked her other arm free and redoubled her efforts, while the YMIR mechs started stomping towards her. With a cry, she snapped the last restraint and she dropped to her knees. She rubbed her head as if nursing a headache, then noticed the three mechs in front of her. Most people would be relatively worried.

Most people don't launch themselves towards the mechs, howling all the way.

As Jack charged, a crackling blue aura surged all around her. She gave the closest mech a devastating punch charged with biotic energy, sending it flying back into the wall. Up above, we could feel the floor shake from the impact. (3)

"Oh, I want to see this!" Grunt said happily. "Let's go!"

We moved towards the door, which led down a ramp to the room that used to hold Jack. A computer automatically sounded an alarm. "Sounds like heavy fighting," Jacob said.

The door opened into the cryo room. Smoke was everywhere, mostly from the three large piles of metal and plastic that used to be a trio of heavy mechs. A large hole was gaping in the wall, shards of metal bending outward into a corridor.

"Ya think?" I asked rhetorically. Picking up something on my sensors, I scanned one of the mechs. Its shield generators were intact enough to scan. Hopefully I'd be able to replicate it later.

"All guards: restore order!" Kuril snapped over the loudspeakers. "Lethal force is authorized! But don't kill Jack! Techs: lockdown! Lockdown!"

We hopped through the hole and raced down the corridor. It was very hard to see anything, what with the emergency lights—a bunch of blinking red lights spaced way too far apart—being the only source of illumination. Almost missed the power cells and credits lying around. "Sectors Seven, Nine and Eleven have lost life support," the computer politely told us. "No survivors."

We emerged on the second floor of a very large room. Bridges connected the two sides of the room. Above us, mercs were desperately firing at various prisoners on the ground floor, who had naturally scrounged up weapons and were having a heck of a good time. Metal plates were swinging up from the floor—some automatic protocol to provide shelter in the event of a prison riot, I guess. Red emergency lights and fires were blinking everywhere. Girders and other large debris were falling all around us.

"This girl is powerful," Garrus noted, "but she lacks subtlety."

Grunt had a different take: "She's blowing everything up. I like her!"

Of course he did.

"All prisoners: return to your cells immediately," Kuril yelled, "or I'll open every airlock on this ship!"

Right. Because prisoners who've done the worst things imaginable before being captured and subjected to such delightful treatment will naturally comply with such a reasonable request.

I would have been happy to let the prisoners and mercs fight it out, and let us focus on any targets of opportunity, had I not looked ahead. Another YMIR mech was loose, stomping around. I quickly ran onto a nearby bridge, cloaked and sighted on the mech. This was why I preferred the life of a sniper: the chance to shoot things at range. Okay, so I didn't actually kill it, even though I scored a direct headshot. Still, anything to take its shields down a notch. Meanwhile, I could use my position to designate targets for my squad. Everyone who could fire an EMP started chipping away at the mech's shields; while everyone else lay down a withering hail of covering fire.

Thankfully, the bridge I was hiding on was remarkably sturdy, and had some nice metal plates clamped on the rail and the floor to hide behind. The mech kept trying to blast it apart, but the bridge refused to give way. While the mech was stubbornly trying to kill me, everyone else was free to take it apart one piece at a time.

How do I always manage to get myself into these situations?

By the time we finally blew up the mech, all the other mercs and prisoners were dead.

"Warning: power plant damage has led to overload," the computer happily chirped. "Core systems failure imminent."

Another synthesized voice came in, this time over the comm. "Shepard, the warden has locked down the area behind you," EDI said. "You must find another exit route."

Acknowledging her intel, I quickly swept the room for anything of value. There was an interesting looking shotgun next to one of the dead mercs. As I scanned it, I looked around him. It didn't take long to guess what had happened.

"The guard got swarmed by prisoners wielding improvised weapons. He never had a chance."

"Shows you what kind of people these prisoners are," Garrus said. "I don't agree with everything they do here, but it's in the galaxy's best interests to keep them locked away. This guard kept maniacs from hurting innocent people."

Mordin wasn't so sure. "Prisoners helpless. Guards had power. Perhaps abused it? Violence could be retribution."

"We don't have time to debate this," I said, automatically hacking a datapad for credits.

"Yeah, we have to find Jack," Grunt laughed gleefully. "I want to see how long she lasts."

Glad to see one of us was having fun. Miranda seemed to share my sentiments. "How long she lasts or how long the station stays together?" she asked.

I led the squad into a U-shaped corridor before Grunt could answer, automatically scooping up anything useful as I went.

"Lockdown in Blocks Four, Seven and Eight!" Kuril barked, just as we entered another large room. It was very similar to the one we had just left; only this one had more mercs and no prisoners. Since we were taking the lead, Team One found a good place to hide first. We lay down covering fire while Team Two found a little shelter of their own, thanks to another metal plate that swung into position.

"The hull has been breached in Sectors 12, 14 and 30," the computer said as we started taking out mercs one at a time. "No survivors."

EMP, plasma, gunfire, dead merc. EMP, plasma, gunfire, dead merc. EMP, plasma, gunfire, dead merc. Send Team Two down to the ground floor to face more mercs. EMP, plasma, gunfire, dead merc.

More mercs started pouring in from the far end as I led my team to join the party. We prepared ourselves for more of the same.

Then a YMIR mech—seriously, how many of those things did these guys have?—stood up and started stomping our way. At least, I'm sure it was stomping. Hard to tell over the din of gunfire.

I quickly fired off a couple headshots before ducking to avoid the return fire. "Team Two, keep the mercs busy; Team One tackle the mech!" I yelled. EMPs started crackling over the mech one by one. I lost sight of it for a moment as it started moving across a bridge. When I saw it again, its shields were gone.

Unfortunately, its armour was fully intact and it was perilously close to Team Two. The mech moved down a ramp to the ground level and started stomping towards them, launching a rocket in the process. The explosion knocked Zaeed over, his head hitting the floor with enough force to knock him out. Garrus motioned for everyone else to duck.

"OK, guys, we gotta draw that thing away from Team Two," I said. I quickly counted down from three and popped out, sending a bolt of plasma its way before firing another shot. Miranda was right on my heels with a biotic blast. Grunt and Kasumi settled for shooting it—well, Kasumi settled for shooting it. Grunt moved out into the open to shoot it, defiantly inviting any return fire.

As stupid as it sounded, it worked. The mech quickly focused on him, which gave Team Two to unleash a hail of fire. After a minute of sustained fire, the mech's armour cracked open and everyone started shorting out its system with EMPs. Grunt finished it off with a concussive round and a howl of laughter.

Now we could focus on the mercs again. Cloaking, I lined up a shot on a merc that was trying to creep over the bridge above us and took him down. The mercs sneaking behind him hastily retreated. I signalled for Team One to move up while I kept the mercs pinned with sniper fire. While they moved up on my right, I saw Team Two move beneath me to some cover closer to the mercs. Zaeed included—guess he'd recovered from his little concussion.

Kuril came back over the loudspeaker. "Find Jack!" he said. "Full alert! Find Jack!"

Nice to see Kuril had his priorities straight in the midst of his precious ship falling apart, I mused, cloaking again and trying to get a clean shot at the last pair of mercs. Nope, they were hiding. So I waited until my cloak wore off. As soon as it did, the mercs stood up. The rest of my squad was waiting for them.

After swiping everything that wasn't nailed down in the room and the adjoining corridor, we entered yet another room. Prisoners were running around getting killed left and right by Kuril. He was standing in the far left corner of the room, underneath a large dome-shaped shield. Adjusting his aim to shoot another prisoner in the back, he saw us.

"You're valuable, Shepard," he hissed at me, turning and firing a shot. He missed. "I could've sold you and lived like a king."

"You think I'm worth that much?" I laughed. "Ever hear a story called 'The Emperor's New Clothes'?"

"But you're too much trouble," Kuril continued, pretending he didn't hear me. Which was entirely possible, given all the noise from the guns and explosions. "At least I can recapture Jack."

"That's not happening," I called back. "You're a two-bit slave trader and I'm taking you down."

"I do the hard things civil governments are unwilling to!" he cried out. "This is for the good of the galaxy!"

As the two teams found their positions, I surveyed the room. Small and square shaped, with paths running along the sides of the wall and one bridge extending from our end to the other. Lots of metal plates for us and the mercs to hide behind. And three tall pillars with spheres on the end, each sending a stream of energy to the dome Kuril was hiding under. Three guesses that they were powering some kind of additional shield for the two-bit slave trader.

I got Miranda's attention and pointed out the generators. She nodded, leaned out and sent an EMP at one of them. Sure enough, the generator shut down, the stream of energy flowing from it ceased, and Kuril's dome shield flickered. One down, two to go. For the good of the galaxy and all that.

Unfortunately, one of the generators was on the other side of the bridge, hidden from our position by a metal plate. The other generator was in the far right corner of the room, blocked by a bunch of crates. I quickly ran through my options and cursed. No easy way around it. "Everyone keep firing," I ordered. "I'll take out the generators."

Cloaking, I ran towards the generator on the far right. My cloak lasted long enough for me to get within range and fire a shot from my sniper rifle. As the generator shut down, I ducked and waited for my cloak to recharge, before cloaking again and sprinting back to the squad. Noting that I still had a second or two on the clock, I darted for the bridge. Stupid move—I made it, but I lost my shields in the process. I probably should have waited until my shields recharged before cloaking. Naturally I cloaked first so I could take out the other generator.

By then, the squad had taken out several mercs. There were still plenty for me, mind you. I started looking around for a target...

...just in time to see two mercs move through the door we had just used. I was the only one who saw them.

"Behind you!" I yelled, cloaking and firing a shot. Knowing that shouting like that would throw my aim off, I went for a chest shot. Didn't quite kill the merc, but it knocked him back for a bit. More importantly, it bought enough time for the squad to turn around and see them. I'm pretty sure one of the mercs gulped before three EMPs, a plasma blast, two concussive rounds and a round of gunfire ripped them to shreds.

There was only one more merc to deal with. I had to let the squad handle it—my shields were gone and I had taken several serious hits. If I didn't wait for the medical systems to kick in, I'd be toast. So I let the squad take care of him, all the while mentally urging my shields to hurry up and regenerate. Didn't help, of course, but it made me feel better.

Now Kuril had our undivided attention. Using my HUD, I signalled for Team One to occupy him while Team Two moved up the right. Meanwhile, I snuck across the bridge and headed for him along the left, diving behind a metal plate that obligingly lifted up into position as I approached.

Three EMPs were all that were needed to take out his shields, courtesy of Miranda, Garrus and Kasumi. Mordin and I took turns melting his armour with our plasma bolts. Jacob lifted him up in the air with his biotics so Zaeed and Grunt could send twin concussive rounds into his gut.

And me? I delivered the coup de grâce, courtesy of a sniper round to the head.

Did you really have to ask?

We heard some running above us, like feet pounding on metal, and looked up just in time to see Jack run down one of the cylindrical corridors above us. Consulting my HUD, I quickly determined the fastest way up there and headed off in hot pursuit.

The squad arrived in time to see her face off against two guards. "Stop!" one of them cried out.

In response, Jack gripped one of them with her biotics, lifted himup into the air and hurled him into the glass with enough force to make it crack. As he slumped to the ground, she did the same thing with the other guard. Then she looked around for another target.

This corridor had a clear view of the area outside the station. Something out there caught her eye. "Cerberus," she spat.

I couldn't see what had provoked that response, but it sure made her mad. Or madder. Trembling in rage, she started pacing back and forth, sputtering out cries of rage and moving her hands like she wanted to strangle someone. In fact, she was so occupied; she didn't see the merc sneak up on her. Not until I shot him with my pistol.

"What the hell do you want?" she snapped.

"Hey, a little gratitude here," I protested. "I just saved your ass."

"He was already dead," she scowled. "He just didn't know it. Now, what the hell do you want?"

"You were in a bad situation," I replied. "I thought I'd get you out of it."

"Shit, you sound like a pussy," she sneered.

Oh yeah. TIMmy picked a real charmer.

"I'm not going anywhere with you," she continued. "You're Cerberus."

"What makes you say that?" I asked.

She snorted and pointed outside. Following her finger, I saw the Normandy.

With a big honking Cerberus symbol on her bow.

I looked behind me towards Miranda and Jacob. "She's got a point," I told them. "You guys might want to re-think the whole advertising thing." (4) Turning back towards Jack, I asked "Why does it matter if I'm with Cerberus, anyway?"

"With them, for them—I don't care," she spat. "They've been on my ass for years. Anytime I get free, they put a huge bounty on me. That's why Warden Kuril figured he'd struck gold when he caught me."

"She's destroyed Cerberus property and killed Cerberus personnel," Miranda clarified. "Hence the bounty."

"You think you're gonna put me back on ice?" Jack hissed. "You'll die first."

Miranda raised an eyebrow. "Somehow, I doubt that very much."

"I'm not Cerberus," I interrupted. "I'm just working with them for now."

"You show up in a Cerberus frigate to take me away somewhere. You think I'm stupid?"

Okay, now probably wasn't the best time to piss her off—even more—but I couldn't resist the line she'd just handed me. "Um... yes?"

"What?"

"Look: this ship is going down in flames. I've got the only way out. I'm offering to take you with me. And you're arguing. What did you expect?"

"We could just knock her out and take her," Zaeed growled.

"Shoot her and patch her up on the ship," Grunt agreed happily.

"You'll have to kill me," Jack said coldly.

Hoo boy. "We're not going to attack her," I sighed.

"You're sure?" Miranda asked with a little too much disappointment for my liking.

"Yes."

Jack smiled coldly. "Good move. Look, you want me to come with you? Make it worth my while."

"Join my squad and I'll do what I can for you," I replied.

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"Fine, let's go for something more specific," I said. "Tell me what you're thinking."

Her eyes narrowed. "I bet your ship's got lots of Cerberus databases. You want me on your team? Let me look at those files. See what Cerberus has got on me."

"I'll give you full access," I agreed.

"Shepard, you're not authorized to do that!" Miranda protested.

"Says who?"

"Cerberus Regulation 38—"

"Am I the commanding officer of this mission?"

"Well, yes, but—"

"Then I have the authority to make those kinds of decisions."

"But..."

"Oh, it upsets the cheerleader," Jack said mockingly. "Even better. You better be straight up with me."

I just nodded.

"So why the hell are we standing here?" she asked.

"Let's go," I said. Before the ship falls apart, I silently added. (5)

Miranda arranged a quick debrief once we got back to the Normandy. Somehow, I had a feeling it had less to do with formally welcoming Jack onboard and more to do with getting the last word in. I met Miranda outside the comm room. "Jacob and Garrus already escorted Jack inside," she said when I arrived.

"Great," I nodded. "Before we join them, though, I thought we could have a little talk."

"Like the ones we always have when you drop by my office? Two or three times a day?"

"Most of those talks don't involve the tension I picked up between you and Jack," I replied.

"I wouldn't call it tension," Miranda sniffed. "More like... disapproval."

"Not with her biotics," I said, pretending to play dumb. "If Purgatory's crippled remains are any indication, I think she's got that in spades."

Miranda frowned at me. Maybe she was annoyed that I would dare to admire another human's biotic prowess or something. "Without discipline and respect for authority, that power is useless," she replied. "Or worse: dangerous. She could prove to be a liability."

"Maybe, maybe not," I shrugged. "Still, your boss—"

"Our boss."

"Your boss headhunted her," I continued as if I hadn't been interrupted. "For her talents rather than her people skills, but he picked her nonetheless. I say give her a chance. She might surprise you."

"Or she might not," Miranda countered. "She's a loose cannon."

"I've worked with people who didn't necessarily toe the line before," I reminded her. "I still am."

"Have any of the people you worked with been this borderline-insubordinate?" Miranda asked.

"Well there was a krogan battlemaster I used to hang out with," I said. "We had the most stimulating conversations."

"I'm sure," Miranda shook her head. "Well, maybe it won't be a complete disaster. As long as we can point her in the right direction before setting her loose."

Not exactly what I was hoping to hear. "She's a member of this squad and this crew, not an attack dog who's being let off the leash. Even if her leather... straps and tattoos suggest otherwise. Okay?"

Miranda glared at me. "Fine," she spat out after a moment.

"So can you work with her?" I pressed.

"As long as you put her on Team Two, I can."

Never thought I'd ever hear Miranda grumble before. Still, this would probably be the best I'd ever get. "It's a start," I conceded. "Just... let me do the talking? And play nice."

"Of course."

With that, Miranda and I entered the comm room. Garrus, Jacob and Jack turned to look at us. "Welcome to the Normandy, Jack," Miranda said before I could open my mouth. "I'm Miranda; Shepard's second-in-command. On this ship, we follow orders."

Yes. Establish the proper chain-of-command. Because if this mission showed anything, it was that Jack respected authority. And Miranda had the same definition of playing nice as the rest of us. I wasn't the only one who felt that way:

Jacob's shoulders slumped.

Garrus shook his head.

Jack gave Miranda the finger. "Tell the Cerberus cheerleader to back off, Shepard. I'm here because of our deal."

"Miranda will grant you access to the databases," I said. "Let me know what you find."

"Hear that, precious," Jack cooed. "We're gonna be friends. You, me and every embarrassing little secret." She tilted her head towards me. "I'll be reading down in the hold," she told me, "or somewhere near the bottom. I don't like a lot of thorough traffic."

Without waiting to be dismissed—as if she'd do so anyway—she headed for the door. "Keep your people off me," she said over her shoulder. "Better that way."

Miranda looked at me, then shook her head and left the room.

"Well, that went well," I said cheerfully.

Jacob and Garrus looked at me doubtfully. Can't imagine why.

The three of us chatted about how the Normandy and her crew were doing for a few minutes before I let them go. When I emerged from the comm room, Kelly told me that TIMmy wanted to talk to me. Naturally I ignored him and researched some upgrades instead. Then I started making my rounds and talking to everybody. Even Miranda, though that conversation involved the usual "There's a lot of work to do" and a nod towards a datapad propped on the edge of the desk. I took that datapad with me and resumed my rounds. Eventually I made my way to Jack. As she said, she made a home in the hold below Engineering. Very dark. Very moody. Like her.

"Tell me about you, Jack," I said, handing her the datapad.

"I'm still finding out about me," she shrugged. "This might help," she added, taking the datapad from my hand. "Thanks for letting me look at those files.

"If they're helping you, that's good enough for me," I replied.

She shot me a sharp look. "Don't be my buddy. You need me to kill for you. I need you for these files. Let's leave it there. Your friends at Cerberus are into some nasty things. I'm gonna find something I can use. I just know it."

"What if the answers aren't what you expect?" I asked.

"I'm not looking for answers. I'm looking for names, dates, places."

"And when you find what you're looking for?"

"I go hunting," Jack scowled. "Anyone who's screwed with me pays. Their associates pay. Their friends pay. The galaxy's gonna be a lot emptier when I'm done."

Oh boy. As if I needed any more evidence that Jack had issues. "I didn't spring you from jail just so you could run off on a killing spree," I frowned.

"I'm here for your mission," Jack said coolly. "After that, what I do is my business."

"What's your history with Cerberus," I asked, trying to distract her before she vented her 'business' on my spleen.

"They raised me in a research facility," she shrugged. "I escaped when I was a kid. Been on the run ever since." She got up and started to walk around. "And they've been chasing me ever since.

She pulled out a pistol. I wasn't sure whether she'd snuck it onboard from the Purgatory or swiped it out of the armoury. "But soon I'm going to chase them," she hissed.

"You think about this a lot, don't you?"

"I go to sleep with this," she said calmly, staring at her pistol. "I wake up with it. Everyone I kill, I pretend it's the ones that did this to me."

Okay. Crazy person getting crazier. Time to change the topic. "You don't have to live in this pit, you know."

"It's dark, quiet and hard to find. That spells safety to me."

She abruptly strode out of the darkness, vaulted over a pipe and landed in a crouch on a nearby table. Being the manly man that I was, I only jumped a millimetre off the deck. "You know, this ship is a powerhouse," she purred. "You could go pirate, live like a king. I could help. Might be nice to have a cozy little base to hang out in while I cross people off my kill list."

"We have to stop the Collectors," I told her. "I don't have time for piracy."

"When this is done, we'll either be dead or out here, in space," Jack pointed out. "With this ship."

She jumped off the table. "Think about it: lots of creds. Freedom to go wherever you want. And all the mayhem and killing I could want."

"What is it about killing that fascinates you so much?" I asked.

"I figure every time someone dies and it's not me, my chances of survival go up," she replied frankly. "Simple."

And my chances of survival would go up the sooner I got out of here. "I should go."

"Yep."

"The Illusive Man wishes to speak with you in the debriefing room, Commander," Kelly told me when I got back to the command deck.

"Yeah, that's nice," I said absently, moving to the galaxy map to plot my next course. This time, however, the map didn't light up. "Um... EDI, I think the galaxy map is broken."

"The galaxy map is fully operational," EDI corrected. "The Illusive Man desires a conversation with you and has activated override protocols to prevent you from taking any further action without speaking with him first."

Wow. Control freak, much?

I thought about stalling for time. Maybe harass the crew again. Sure that might be petty. But hey, petty and I are old friends. Still, I wound up going to the comm room. Maybe he'd have some useful intel.

Like everything else on this ship, the comm room had some pretty nifty features. Aside from the usual access to the galactic FTL comm network, it was equipped with a quantum entanglement communicator to allow direct two-way real-time communication with TIMmy. EDI explained it worked by creating two subatomic particles that were 'entangled.' One was installed on the Normandy, the other at TIMmy's office. When one particle entered a certain quantum state, the other particle would do the exact opposite, establishing a link that allowed for lag-free transmission of data through 'quantum bits.' This would allow us to contact TIMmy even when the regular ol' comm network was on the fritz. I took its word for it, as that kind of stuff is way above me. All I knew was it worked. (6)

"Shepard, I think we have them!" TIMmy told me when the link was established, taking his cigarette out of his mouth. "Horizon—one of our colonies in the Terminus Systems—just went silent. (7) If it isn't under attack, it soon will be. Has Mordin delivered the countermeasure for the seeker swarms?"

I had no clue. Last time I talked to him, he was busy running a couple statistical analyses, creating a couple seekers for tests and updating crew dental records. Despite all that multi-tasking, he still had enough time to inform me that Cerberus personnel had cyanide capsules placed in their molars, reject that measure as primitive and give me his opinion that ocular nerve flashbangs would be better and harder to disarm. "Not yet," was all I said.

"Let's hope he works well under pressure. There's something else you should know."

Don't tell me. Let me guess. Something like 'Shepard—I am your father.'

"One of your former crew, Kaidan Alenko—he's stationed on Horizon."

Or that. "Last I knew, Kaidan was Alliance. Why is he out in the Terminus Systems?"

"Officially, it's an outreach program to improve Alliance relations with the colonies. But they're up to something. And if they sent Commander Alenko, it must be big. Perhaps you should take it up with him."

This was all a bit too convenient for me. TIMmy locks down the Normandy until I deigned to chat with him, then he revealed that he knows where the Collectors are going next. And they just happened to pick the place that Kaidan was visiting? I said as much. Well, I said the last part anyway.

"It shouldn't be a surprise the Collectors are interested in you. Especially if they're working for the Reapers. They might be going after him to get to you."

"We should send a message to the Citadel," I suggested. "The Alliance or the Council can give us reinforcements."

"Not until you investigate," TIMmy shook his head. "I don't want them getting in our way."

Yeah, 'cause official governments had such an annoying tendency of doing that... wait, they did, didn't they? Damn it, I better not be going soft. Or native.

"Once you have the situation under control, I'll send the message personally," TIMmy promised.

Sure he would.

"Send the coordinates," I said instead. "We'll head straight there."

TIMmy nodded. Naturally he couldn't let it go without having the final word: "This is the most warning we've ever had, Shepard. Good luck."

I left the comm room and headed for the tech lab. "Joker—set a course for Horizon," I ordered. "I've got to go see the professor."

"Aye, aye, Commander."

Mordin had actually done it.

Well, he did have a countermeasure, but I didn't find that out at first. I was actually talking about the seeker. He had actually built... or grown... or both—anyway, he had a live and operational seeker up and running. No, he didn't have it buzzing around the tech lab like some idiot. It was safely locked up in the anoxic chamber. Good thing too, it kept insisting on trying to sting us. Either that, or it had a really bad sense of direction. Stupid bug kept running into the walls.

I filled Mordin in on TIMmy's conversation. "Please tell me you have something."

Mordin smiled. "Yes."

"Gee, could you be a little more specific?" I asked plaintively.

"Yes. Have something."

I glared at him.

He chuckled, then pulled up a schematic. As he tapped madly away, he started explaining what this countermeasure was and how it would prevent our inglorious demise or capture.

Probably.

(1): I am not surprised that Shepard was so... overwhelmed by the lengths Cerberus went to revive him. Frankly, I am amazed he kept his good humour and sanity in the face of these revelations.

(2): Since the Unification War, turians usually sport facial tattoos that signify their colony of origin. This custom is so prevalent, the term 'barefaced' has become a derogatory term to describe one who cannot be trusted... or politicians.

(3): If I didn't know Shepard better, I would have suspected him of exaggerating events.

(4): Technically, the elongated hexagonal symbol was the logo of Cord-Hislop Aerospace, a front for Cerberus. However, it wasn't uncommon for people to recognize the symbol for what it truly represented, particularly in the Terminus Systems.

(5): Jack caused a catastrophic amount of damage as she tore through Purgatory, enough that it was literally falling apart by the end. After the Normandy left, the Council sent rescue ships to save any guards or prisoners that survived Purgatory's demise via escape pods.

(6): Despite its obvious advantages, such technology would only work from point-to-point via a single pair, which cost as much as a single comm relay. To set up enough pairs of particles to cover Citadel space would bankrupt the entire galactic community.

(7): By 'our,' The Illusive Man referred to humanity, not Cerberus. Opinion may vary as to whether he saw any distinction between the two.