"A loss of control is always the source of fear. It is also, however, always the source of change."- James Frey

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Of Impulse and Fey

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Considering the outstanding damage Natsuki made to my beloved kitchen, it didn't take too long to clean up, the ceiling notwithstanding. I called for a replacement stove since there was no way to salvage the poor thing and went back upstairs to tend to my accident-prone puppy. Carrying a bowl of microwaved soup, I thought about her miraculous recovery as I went up. Her wound wasn't even close to closing completely for the past two days. I had done all I could and it still wasn't enough. I tried to find out as much as I could about both human and her knowledge of extraterrestrial medicine but to no avail, and then suddenly a towel of ice water mends everything in a heartbeat? This was utterly absurd. And yet, it felt so stupidly simple. As if that should have been the answer all along. Why?

Ice barely has any medicinal properties. It either brings down swelling or promotes numbness, it does not- as far I know- have any magical healing characteristics. What did ice have to do with anything? What did it have to do with Natsuki? And why in the world was she in my kitchen? Underneath it all, there had to be a logical explanation, and I was determined to find out.

…

I ended up having to come back down to the kitchen a third time. Natsuki woke up with a ravaging hunger that the soup I brought her earlier didn't stand a chance. I managed to make two sub sandwiches out of the ingredients left in my kitchen before marching back upstairs. Boy, were my calves getting tired. I sat on my chaise lounge while she ate. She looked better. Her sharp green eyes glittered healthily and color began to surge into her lips and cheeks. All because of ice, I still wasn't sure how to feel about that. I was happy Natsuki was recovering, but irritated that somethings so…plain could cause such an impact. It honestly made me feel inadequate. I suppose that I may be being too hard on myself, she is alien, but I felt that I should have known remotely that ice was the key. There was something niggling in the back of my memory.

"You look very deep in thought, tontzae."

I jolted out of my reverie blinking my eyes in rapid succession to focus in the present world. "Erm, yes, sorry," I replied, fidgeting awkwardly in my seat. She eyed my suspiciously before returning to polish off her meal. I was getting agitated, and my legs begged me to pace about the room to find the answers to dumb questions. Glancing at Natsuki for a moment, I gave in. There had to be something… Natsuki watched me pace about the room, most likely trying to figure out what was wrong with me, but she graciously kept her thoughts to herself. I had gone about doing this for a couple of minutes when I stopped and asked her accusingly, "Why didn't you ask me to make you something?" She met my eyes squarely before answering, "I heard you downstairs and thought that it would have been best to leave you alone."

"Why do you say that?"

"You only go downstairs when you're upset, angry, or anxious."

Either she can read me like a book, or Reito confided a lot of information in her when she was inconspicuously a dog. My agitation merely increased at this sudden prospect. Dropping the subject altogether, I continued to pace about the room. There had to be something that was staring at me right in the bloody face. I'm a brilliant girl. I should know this. Okay, what did Natsuki and the kitchen not have in common? The skills to be in the kitchen at all, I chuckled at my own joke drawing a raised eyebrow from my companion in response. Let's try looking at this from another angle. What did Natsuki and ice have in common? I stopped and stared at her peculiarly. "Yes, human?" she asked guardedly. "You…" I tried to say, but my mouth didn't know how to form the words I wanted to come out. There was an uncomfortable pause when my mind and mouth were struggling to cooperate and she shuffled awkwardly in the comforters. If it weren't for the fact that I was trying so desperately to find an answer I would have made a small victory smirk. I, Shizuru Viola, made Natsuki Kuga, an alien from another planet, uncomfortable for once.

…

The female tontzae was staring at her so intently Natsuki had no idea what to do with herself. It was as if the human were trying to bore holes into her soul with those wine colored eyes. "Yes, human?" She demanded again, thoroughly perturbed. "…I could have sworn…," the sandy haired human trailed off again. "Please have a full sentence thought out before you speak. I've heard it makes communicating much easier for all parties involved." Natsuki saw Shizuru's frown at her snarky comment, but the silence ensued. Now she's looking at me much more intensely, Natsuki thought. Huffing a breath in annoyance, the extraterrestrial rolled her eyes upward to the ceiling. "Spare me ancestors from this tontzae," she muttered. "What did you say?" The human snapped in surprise, making her voice sound harsher than she intended. Natsuki curled her upper lip into a snarl instinctively at the none-too-gentle tone. "No, really, what did you say?" Shizuru repeated, a tad more softly but no less demanding. If it weren't for the fact that she was attractive and intriguing I would have gouged those pretty red eyes out of her head a long time ago. "'Spare me ancest-'"

"Shh, shh. Ancestors. Ancestors…" Natsuki gazed warily at the restless human as she paced around for the third time. What did her ancestors have to do with what was running around the human's funny little head? The tontzae went on mumbling "ancestors" while tossing her dusky tan tresses away from her face. Such a pretty shade for the human female, she thought forgetting her irritation for a second or two. "I got it!" The earthling exclaimed whirling around. "Your ancestors!" Natsuki only looked to her with more confusion. "What about them?" she asked uncertainly. The pretty human's face was glowing with such pride it was hard to look away. The flush of her cheeks and bright smile was captivating. "Ice! Your ancestor is Duran, isn't it?" Shizuru ran over to the bed excitedly before crawling atop Natsuki bringing her face close enough for Natsuki to be intoxicated by her sweet scent. "You told me that your child Duran was the ancestor of ice!"

"Human, as much as I am glad we've graduated to more complete sentences, the point you're trying to make is still fragmented." Natsuki's pride squashed away the sense of unease she was feeling that their current positions. "Don't you see? This is why your wound healed so quickly; it was because I placed ice on it! Clearly that has something to do with your child." Momentarily stunned by the human's logic, Natsuki was briefly relieved from registering her uncomfortable position. "Oh yes, I suppose that does make sense," she remarked thoughtfully. The tontzae giggled happily at her huge discovery before rolling off the bluenette to lay by her side contentedly. Her face then fell slightly. "Wait a minute… if ice can heal you, then does that mean fire would mortally wound you?"

"Yes, that is correct."

"Is that why your scabs flared up in the kitchen?" Shizuru asked quietly, as if she were trespassing into Natsuki's personal life again. This bit of information wasn't too intimate to share, and what where would the harm be when the knowledge could be useful to the both of them in the future? Natsuki nodded curtly in answer. "Oh," the human sighed breathily causing Natsuki's ears to perk up with interest. There was a small sound of rustling by her side when Natsuki felt Shizuru's cold hesitant fingers brushing softly against the fading scar of her right arm. The foreigner swallowed thickly at the touch. Goosebumps began to form all along her body, and a small pleasant shimmy wracked through her insides. It must be near mating season. That would explain why it took longer for me to heal on my own. Looking down at the pale slender hand whose fingers started to lazily caress her skin, Natsuki speculated that was why she had yet to push the semi-unwanted appendage away. She needed to avoid the pretty tontzae from now until her urges pass or they would both suffer the dire consequences.

…

"Woman, can you not see that I'm struggling here?" Reito wheezed under his breath. He was currently hauling his heavy luggage up the steps whilst I was watching, quite amused. "How was the trip?" I asked lazily breathing in my cigarette. "As great as your weekend was I imagine, got any more on you?" Reito questioned as he began to pat my pockets for my well-hidden Marlboro package. We both quit smoking when we left Nine Tails, but there were some occasions when the itch needed a scratch. He joined me on the tasteful grey bench that rested on my front porch. A quiet wind blew and intertwined our smoke together making me smile. I guess this goes to show me that we're birds of a feather. "What happened with you and Chikako at the spring?" I inquired. He sighed before stamping out his cigarette stub with the heel of his shoe. It seems like Chikako rejected his advances. "We had an argument. We were talking about her leaving to school next month, and I suggested that I could give her rides to and from school until she learned how to drive. She took that out of context and was- and I quote- 'enraged to know that I would impede on her newfound freedom and control her by forcing her to only get transportation through me.' That was the first night of the trip and the rest of the week we were stepping on each other's toes. I seriously thought about leaving her ass behind, no pun intended," he uttered that last bit broodily.

I felt a vein near my temple throb. Who did this girl think she was, insulting his kindness and using his words against him in that manner? "I'm surprised you didn't," I stated coolly, but he fully understood that I was displeased with his new girlfriend and was subliminally soothing his bruised pride. He smiled in return. "No, Shizuru, I stayed with her because… I think we may have a future together." I looked over at him quizzically. It wasn't that I had never heard him say that before, but he said it as though he really meant it this time. "Alright," I replied, letting the subject wisp away with my smoke for now. He needed to sort out his feelings. Then again, he did extend the trip for the weekend. If he wanted more help with Chikako, he would give me more details and ask for advice. "By the way, where's Natsuki?" He asked looking around. I paused midway in breathing in the last puff from my cigarette, "She's… investigating. She will be back home for dinner, which by the way will be take out." He watched me stamp out my cigarette on the floor in mild bewilderment. "Here, let me help you bring in your bags." Reito knew me long enough to know when something was a private matter. I usually made discreet gestures to nudge him into a quiet corner.

He took in the heaviest bag and used his foot to shut the door. We stood in the parlor when I spilled my guts. After recounting everything that happened within the past week, I was pacing around fretfully again. He stood there patiently throughout my whole spiel of the goings-on between the ice alien and me. "So, you haven't asked about what happened that night? Honestly, being the mother hen that you are, I thought you would've forced it out of her already," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Still," he continued, "you haven't told me what exactly she was investigating. Does it have to do with what she told us of her home planet?" I grabbed his carry-on from the floor where I had placed it and started down the hall toward his room. "Yes it is. She asked for my help as well, as a birthday present. She's looking into more leads that would narrow the search as much as possible. She bolted out the door after breakfast. Natsuki's been a lot more irritable lately and I have no idea why."

"She has a birthday!?" Reito nearly shouted.

We placed his bags by the door and sat at the edge of his bed. His room was a calming blue; it was such a nice color I nearly forgot we were conversing. "Yes, I baked her my famous chocolate raspberry cake. Before she ruined my kitchen of course. There's still a bit left in the fridge." I sighed and stretched my arms overhead. A low groan of satisfaction escaped my lips, and much to my surprise, Reito squirmed next to me. Reito was quick to explain that he had a troublesome pair of blue balls because he wasn't able to take Chikako to bed and was expecting a fair amount. I quickly gave my apologies and fled the room. However there was something I had to say before I left, "Reito, I believe that we're being watched. Natsuki brought it to my attention a couple days ago. Whether it is because someone noticed Natsuki or because it's her I cannot tell at this time. We need to be even more careful from here on out." He nodded in affirmation and I left his room.

…

Natsuki needed air. Her companion fever was getting the best of her. If she had lingered in the house a second longer, she may have mauled the poor, unsuspecting tontzae. It wasn't as if Shizuru couldn't take care of herself, but Natsuki could easily overpower her to do something they may both regret. No, it wasn't safe to be in the same vicinity of the beautiful, vulnerable, witty… The blunette shook her head to clear. The female human, she finished snappily. The daylight was fading quickly and Natsuki welcomed the sudden drop in temperature, the chilling air running through her thick canine fur. She chose to walk around as a dog because it made it easier to move around without being noticed. Even though she would have loved to stay outside for the evening, it wouldn't have been wise after her last ambush. The queen's goons could be anywhere, and she was determined not to bring any of them home where they could harm her humans. The alien began her trudge back to the house. Trying to keep of mind off the mind numbing fever and the tontzae, she let her mind wander elsewhere.

In truth she was trying to find what she could about the whereabouts of Tomoe; however, she was more interested in the backyard intruder from a few nights before. The evidence was, quite literally, in her backyard. She checked the backyard before leaving that morning. There were clear signs that someone had been watching them from beneath the window, but it still wasn't a good vantage point to see anything within the room. It was also clear by the looks of the molded bush that the same person had sat there countless times before. Natsuki shivered in disgust. Shizuru had no idea of the extent of her allure. Then again, she does have a vague idea, Natsuki reminisced grudgingly the last time Shizuru wore her purple suit. Natsuki didn't know why that still angered her even though it was such a long time ago now. The extraterrestrial just "hmphed" and quickly padded up the porch steps when she returned to the place she reluctantly considered home.

…

Natsuki always detested the horrible stench of cigarette smoke. If she absolutely had to describe the acrid scent, it would be a mixture of gravel dust and strong odor from a human's armpit. The foul smell assaulted her senses as soon as she reached the porch. Choking and gagging, she entered Shizuru's home feverish, sexually frustrated, and thoroughly annoyed. Quickly running up to her own room, Natsuki slammed the door shut and morphed out of her canine suit, something she couldn't do fast enough, to throw open the nearest window. Air, air, air! her mind screamed. The blue haired alien gasped for breath, heaving heaps of pure unadulterated air into her lungs. Once her nostrils and lungs cleared, she wondered why cigarette smoke affected her so much. Perhaps it had to do with the burning smoke itself because she and fire did not get on. Her scars began to twinge as she thought about fire. Either way, she still hated the humans filthy pass time. Not but a few seconds later Natsuki's ears twitched at the sound of light and fast footsteps rushing to her door. Shizuru did not disappoint by poking her head in a moment later. "Natsuki are y-…"

"Stay away from me human. I cannot stand the stink of that tobacco smoke."

Shizuru blinked in surprise, not quite comprehending what was being said due to the sudden nakedness that was Natsuki. Natsuki watched in fascination at the fazes of emotion that passed rapidly through ruby eyes and the heightened color of her human's cheeks while fighting very hard to look anywhere else by Natsuki's emerald orbs. When the meaning of the extraterrestrials words were finally processed, Shizuru unconsciously sniffed at her sleeve. She gave a sheepish grin and took many steps back with her palms out apologetically. Natsuki watched her tontzae step so far back that her back tapped the door. "Ah…sorry, I quit some time ago, but under certain occasions I d-"

"I don't care for your reasons human, just don't do it again." Natsuki interrupted again.

The blunette saw Shizuru frown unhappily at the statement though she wisely chose not to comment. "I see, well, I wanted to know if you were alright."

"I'm fine," Natsuki snapped, "Do not smoke in my presence again."

This time the beautiful female human squared her shoulders to stand at her full height, "You were not present at the time. Furthermore, this is my home, I can do as I so please."

"If this will continually be an issue than shall I take my leave?" Natsuki challenged.

Natsuki could tell that the question left the human stunned speechless. In all honesty, Natsuki could see the valid points that the little human was making, but was too far gone in discontent and discomfort to care. In fact, if the alien bothered to look a little closer it seemed like the human was emotionally distressed and hurt. Natsuki's words hung heavily in the space between them. Natsuki completely unaware of the suffocation the taller woman was feeling. After a time, a suddenly solemn eyed Shizuru opened her mouth. "If that is what you wish, Reito is back from his trip. Please take what you can to travel comfortably, he will help you pack." Natsuki couldn't believe what she had just heard. Her little human had lost her fighting spirit so unexpectedly.

As Shizuru turned and opened the door, Natsuki's mind went into overdrive and before she knew it pinned her little human to the door. Natsuki inhaled the scent of lavender and tea underlying the coarse smoke and found it quite…pleasant. Drawing in another whiff of the soothing scent, Natsuki burrowed her head into the crook of Shizuru's neck. Unknowingly wanting to loosen the little tontzae's stiff shoulders, Natsuki slid her arms around Shizuru's middle. When Shizuru still didn't relax, Natsuki gently spun her around to catch sight of the most beautifully perplexed eyes she had ever seen.

A/N: I really tried to get this up at an earlier time T^T I'm sorry. I hope you liked this next installment of "Of Impulse and Fey". The next update will come next Friday. (On that note: FYI the smexy stuff will be edited out due to the guidelines posted on Fanfiction. However, over on Adult fanfiction and Archive of our Own the full version of the next chapter will be up.) Oki doki, have a fantastic weekend! :D