A/N: It's the home stretch! I know I said there would be 35 total chapters, but with the way I've grouped things together, and not drag it out, it's going to be less than that.
Thanks for all who responded for the last chapter :)
This one proved to be quite a challenge, as it took days to get it right. I thought about it for a while, by advancing it one week, but I couldn't find that Hermione, no matter how hurt she was, would hold off that much. She would want to get to the bottom of things.
Chapter 30
Great Hall, dinner time
All eyes were on her, but she was only staring at the man before her, Harry. Staring at his wide-eyes and slightly opened mouth - he was in complete shock, and truthfully, so was she.
It was so... surreal, for what she just heard Malfoy say, and to Harry of all people! When she and McGonagall had heard shouting from the Great Hall, they never would've guessed this was it. To say she was at a loss for words would be an understatement.
Just like when she heard Blaise say Draco wanted to call it off because he cared about her. That the money wasn't worth it, that she didn't deserve to be treated like that - although that didn't excuse the fact that he still did it - Hermione couldn't help but feel embarrassed for the way she handled the situation, acting out so melodramatically.
"Hermione?" Harry said slowly, waving his hand in front of her face.
"I've... I've got to go" was all she said and she scampered off back to the hallway, but barely made another step when Harry reached out to stop her.
"You can't be serious, Hermione!"
Hermione stiffened as she stared at her once best-friend. "I need to, Harry. After what I saw..." she gave the Headmistress a half-glance. "I need to talk to him. I need to understand-"
"What's to understand? He used you and-"
"Harry please, not this again!"
"Look, I am just trying to wrap my mind around it all" Harry muttered in disbelief. "After avoiding him for the entire weekend, you're just going to submit yourself to his abuse because-"
"Oh enough of this Harry, honestly! I don't need you hovering over me like some... some... parent! I know what I am doing! So you and Ginny, and everyone else can butt the hell out! I'm a grown woman for God's sake!" She adjusted her robes and then gave a firm nod to McGonagall before setting off down the dark corridor.
Harry wanted to stop her, but McGonagall stopped him instead, "She's going to be just fine, Potter"
"But Professor, how can she just-"
"Not another word, now please, return back to your seat," her eyes caught that everyone was still looking in her direction, followed by hurried whispers once they realized Hermione was no longer with her.
Slytherin Common Room
She watched as the wall leading to the Slytherin Common Room, closed, soundless. She had missed him by mere seconds.
"W-Wolfsbane" she panted, watching as the wall groaned and shuddered away.
She gave the open space a brief glance, to see if he would be around, before darting up the staircase to the boy's dormitories. She heard the door close, braced her shoulders and strolled down the corridor until she reached the door. The last time she was here, she had been upset from what Ron said to her. First she tried to see if it was unlocked, turning the knob and pushed with all her might, but the door did not budge. She heard some rustling from the other side, informing her that Malfoy was in fact, in his room. So with a shaky hand, Hermione balled her fist and then rapped her knuckles against the wood. Her heart rammed away against her chest both from the strenuous run and the nerves.
But what was she going to say to him? There were so many questions floating through her head she really didn't know where to start!
The gentle rustling from behind the door stopped, distracting her thoughts. 'Oh boy... here we go...' She closed her eyes and counted to ten as she prepared herself to face him. You could hear a pin drop it was so quiet, and in time, Hermione grew more and more anxious. He never answered the door. She figured he must've thought it was a trick of the mind, so she knocked again, making sure to be louder this time.
"Draco, I know you're in there, so stop being such a bloody coward, and open the door!" She huffed, her palms flat against the door, "Please...?" she added in a whisper. 'I need this...'
She closed her eyes for a second time, before resting her head upon the door. She should've known he would act like this! Realizing it was best to use magic, she reached into her robes to retrieve her wand. Yet before she could touch the small stick of wood, she heard the lock click.
Opening her eyes Hermione took several steps back, watching the knob turn. Removing her hand from her pocket, Hermione clasped her hands together as she stood there, waiting, trying to act casual.
If he was still angry from the Great Hall outburst, then she had to be ready. Both mentally and emotionally! 'You can do this, Hermione. It's the only way you can move forward...' Once she saw him, he was standing there, in just his Oxford shirt and slacks, downing whatever it was in the small vial resting loosely in his hand, all thoughts were wiped of her mind.
'Is that alcohol?'
"Didn't expect to see you so soon..." He said surprised. He was certain she would just brush off that outburst and carry on her merry way with her Gryffindork friends. In fact, he wished she had done that, as he didn't want to deal with her so soon after his outburst at Potter. One that she wasn't even supposed to hear! Both his stomach and heart couldn't endure another long and painful conversation - especially with the judgemental look she was giving him. Yet on the same lines, he couldn't bring it to himself to turn her away - she did show up here with the very purpose of confronting him.
'Just call me a glutton for punishment,' He set the vial down on the table just beside the door and waited for her to speak.
She studied the small glass object for a moment before turning her gaze to him. She couldn't smell any alcohol, so she bet herself that it wasn't. Rather, she hoped it wasn't.
"Well can I come in?" She whispered trying her best to not sound annoyed, while silently praying that he wouldn't just send her off. Not when there was so much she wanted to say to him... or perhaps she wouldn't bother, now that he was just going to drink his sorrows away! 'No, don't be ridiculous, you need to do this. For both your sakes!'
Draco took a deep breath, as the effects of the Calming Draught ebbed his frustration. He bowed his head before stepping to the side, allowing her entrance to his room without a complaint.
Hermione blinked at his lack of response.
"Well there's no sense in prolonging anything," she said after hearing the door close. She raised her chin and turned back around to face him, deciding to just go straight to the point. "What the hell was that all about?" She tried her best to sound calm, but the pounding of her heart made it rather difficult and the fact he just drank an entire vial of something. 'Just breathe...'
Draco smirked at her sudden demand. He was right, she was angry. He raised one eyebrow, casually, "What, it wasn't clear enough for you?" he didn't care how tired and defeated he sounded.
Hermione took a step closer to him, "Actually, it's made me more confused than ever!" She dropped her gaze to the floor. Her brain was working over-time to try to rationalize what had just happened in this past hour. With the memories from McGonagall to his declaration...to this! 'God, what is he doing to me?!'
"Treating me like garbage and then.. then... you go and say all... all that about... wanting what's best for me? To be that person to give me the best? And then you slither off to your little domain here to drink away your sorrows? What the hell?!"
Draco closed his eyes for a moment, trying to think of the proper way to approach the topic, feeling very pleased for having drank the Calming Draught. Things would've easily gotten a whole lot uglier... 'Just start at the beginning...'
"Well for starters, Potter was being his usual motherly self-"
"UGH! This isn't even about Harry!" She snapped, "It's just... I don't understand why or how it is possible that you...I mean..." she heaved. Trying to think and compose herself. To refrain from letting her emotions get the best of her and harm him again.
Draco scoffed, shaking his head lightly, "And thus proves the point - I am nothing but a monster" he muttered to himself.
Hermione picked her head back up, having heard what he said, looking at him in the eyes, "That's not... I..." She swallowed tightly and sighed, getting slightly more agitated, "I wasn't going to say that!"
"Sure you were," He said, as the potion kept his voice normal. "Otherwise you wouldn't be here. I'm incapable of being nice, feeling anything good because I'm nothing but a hollow shell, cause of this blasted Mark."
She felt her heart hammering away against her ribs as she stepped even closer to him,"You're putting words into my mouth!" Her eyes strayed to his left arm for a second before returning to his eyes. "I came here because I need answers! And what do I find instead?" She motioned to the empty flasks aligned on his dresser, leaving the comment unsaid.
Draco stared over to where the Calming Draught was brewing and then rolled his eyes, "You mean the same answers I've tried to give to you earlier, but you wouldn't have it because you couldn't be bothered to listen to me?" He bit, but immediately regretted it. She had a very good reason why she didn't want to listen to him! 'Smooth,' Annoyed at himself, he strolled passed her, but Hermione caught his arm, whirling him back to face her.
"How dare you!" She sneered. She was in emotional turmoil and he had the gall to hold it against her?
Draco winced, "Look I'm sorry. It just slipped out," he sighed. "I wasn't thinking."
Hermione shook her head, and released his arm. "Clearly! You know this was a bad idea to come here and... and... talk to you. I was simply kidding myself! Have fun drinking your arse off!"
She stormed over to the door and tried to open it, but nothing happened. The door wouldn't budge.
"What the-? Why won't it open?" She pulled out her wand, "Alohomora!" but nothing happened.
Hermione heard him approach him from behind her, but she didn't dare to turn around. "Unlock this door Malfoy!" She snarled, gripping her wand so tightly, her knuckles turned white. "I don't want to be here anymore..." she muttered, hating herself.
"I didn't..." she heard him sigh, "It's the ward. It locks when... um..."
Ward? She thought McGonagall had lifted the ward now that he can use magic again! But then it hit her. The last time she was here, she couldn't leave because of a ward. The one that locks the door when there's a girl in the room, and won't open again until after sunrise.
"Bloody hell," she muttered, smacking her head onto the wood. How could she have been so stupid?!
After a few minutes of her not moving, Draco decided to take the initiative and approach her.
"Look, I didn't trick you okay? I... I just forgot until-" He began, but stopped when she turned back around to face him. The tears spilling from her eyes being the only indicator of what exactly she was doing against that door. Crying her eyes out.
"WHY?" She sneered with a sob, her voice shrill. Everything was hitting her all at once, from his mistreatment of her, to apologizing, to his declaration, to... being detached and distant, she was unable to bottle anything in. "Why are you doing this to me?! How can-" - hic - "You say those things... and then act like nothing happened?" She blinked away the tears blurring her vision, "That it doesn't matter? To feel..." her voice became higher, more disconnected even, "that strongly about me, when it's only been... well it hasn't even been a month?!"
She saw his brows twitch in confusion, "Right, you... don't know that because Blaise Obliviated you!" She sniffed and brushed away some fallen tears. Her throat constricted before she went on, "All because you were different and wanted to change for the better, he goes and... Obliviates you because he was mad at you for standing up to him, or... against him or whatever it was. God you Slytherins are so... so ... spiteful. And yet..." she clutches her robes, right above her heart, "I was so mean to you... lashing at you like some... some... some viper" She ended it with a sharp hiccup.
Draco groaned inwardly. 'Why is she blaming herself...?'
"Listen, you had every right to yell at me," Draco said with a heavy breath, her emotions were all over the map, he didn't bother to question the sudden one-eighty in conversation, and just went with the flow. He braved a chance to touch her, by taking a gentle hold of her shoulders. He became over-joyed that she didn't recoil from his touch. Merlin did he miss touching her. Even if it had only been three days. He moved his hands from her shoulders to cup her face.
"I...broke your heart" he wiped away some of her fallen tears with his fingers, "You shouldn't apologize for any of it, I deserved it"
She licked her lips, tasting the salt from her tears, "N-No you didn't. I mean yes what you did was c-cruel and... b-barbaric. But on the same lines, Blaise m-made it so you... you were b-blissfully unaware of the s-situation and I was j-just... so hung up on being h-hurt, I just threw everything back in your f-face! I was bitter a-and bitchy, and now I can't l-leave your room, because of a stupid, fucking w-ward"
"Hermione please, stop" He said over her rant, shaking her slightly. At this rate, he was going to have to give her some of the Calming Draught as well. Most likely the entire potion.
"Let me go!" Hermione squeaked, now suddenly aware that he was touching her. Feeling the sudden surge of sickness pooling in her stomach.
"No, I need you to-"
"I SAID LET ME GO!" She hollered, balling her fists and pushing with all her might. "I don't want you touching me..." she said in a broken whisper as another new batch of tears streamed down her face. Her fight to free herself from him, diminishing.
Draco inhaled through his nose as he reinforced his hold on her; staring up at the ceiling, to recall his inner strength.
"Listen," he began gently, "If there is anything I hate more than seeing you cry, is watching you do this to yourself. Beat yourself up by second guessing your motives. Just stop. You are right. Everything you said to me, was completely spot on! Bloody hell woman, this can't be healthy"
"Being around you isn't healthy!" She snarled back. Her face now flush and stained with wetness.
Draco felt the unpleasant tug in his chest. Watching her cry like this was a whole new kind of agony. And the way she struggled against his hold just brought a whole new reality of the situation. His chest ached even more with each breath intake, like he was getting stabbed. He decided against getting the potion, to stay with her. Very slowly, he watched as she lifted her hands and clasped them on top of his.
"Stop, touching me" she mumbled in between sobs.
Draco ignored how clammy and warm they felt, or the fact that her wand dropped down to the floor, and just proceeded with what he was going to say.
"Not until after you hear what I need to say! Okay?"
But she didn't want to. Her heart, couldn't take it. Hermione shook her head back and forth, before she unexpectedly collapsed down to the ground on her knees, silently crying away.
"You are right..." he said, following her down to the ground. He reached over to begin stroking the back of her head, in an effort to calm her down. She picked up her head, her bright amber eyes glaring. "I will be sorry for the rest of my life and I don't deserve your trust. Bloody hell, I'm shocked that you're even here in my room! But that just tells me, you don't want to give up. And well, quite frankly, I don't want to give up on you either"
"I hate that you used me." She said frowning as the tears kept spilling.
"So do I," he said softly. He reached for her face again, brushing the tears away. "Believe me when I say hurting you was the worst thing-"
"You completely crushed me, when I heard it was just a bet," she moaned over his words. "Made me think ugly things about myself, really. That I wasn't someone anyone wanted or desired unless they had some sort of incentive. So don't sit here, and patronize me!"
"I'm not," he murmured, hating himself even more than he thought possible. It made him that much more willing to make things right again. "That's not the case at all, Hermione, I-"
But Hermione wasn't listening to him, "Which is more than enough reason to cut you out of my life for good, to just carry on without looking back. Heaven knows everyone has been saying it to me!"
Draco sucked a breath but said nothing. He expected as much. He just really hoped she didn't. She had such a big and caring heart... 'Well used to have one...' he reasoned, now that he so carelessly tossed it to a pack of Thestrals. He just sat there silently, waiting for the inevitable dismissal.
"But...I can't." she mumbled, closing her eyes to release even more tears. Draco's ears perked at the word, hope surrounded his heart, and his eyes never blinking.
'Wait, what?' He thought, wiping away the tears.
She shook her head, and Draco stopped brushing her face. "Cause you went and did something admirable. You stood up against what was expected of you, for a person you once considered to be beneath you, toward a person you hate since your first day of school" she sniffed, "And that is... quite easily the most... honest I've ever seen you to be! And probably the most touching thing anyone has ever done for me...I can't just..." she broke off in a sharp sob, "God it's SO frustrating when you do stuff like this! My heart can't take it..."
Draco watched her intently, he couldn't help but think that she had gone off her rocker. She was angry at him, yes, but then she was also praising him. "So...what are you saying?"
She brought his hands down from her face. "I don't know anymore... my mind... it's all jumbled up,"
Then she did something completely unexpected. Well, to Draco at least. She fell forward, nuzzling her head against his shoulder and neck. Sighing blissfully at the woodsy scent against his skin. He sat there, completely dumbfounded of what to do. First she was fighting him like mad, and now... he flinched when he felt her grip tighten.
"I just want... everything to... stop hurting." She sniffed, holding on to him in a bear-like grip.
And he knew just the ticket for that.
"Here," he said softly, pushing her back, to help her back up to her feet, "I have some Calming Draught." He walked over to his wardrobe, where the potion was brewing.
Her eyes caught on to his movement. She felt a new wave of embarrassment of calling him a lush ran through her body, "Is that what you were drinking when I knocked on the door?" She said, wiping her face.
Draco nodded once, as he refilled the flask with the potion before handing it to her. Without hesitation Hermione downed the potion in one gulp, handed him the empty glass flask, "Sorry for thinking it was alcohol," then she made her way to the couch.
"No, take the bed," he said slowly as he placed her empty flask right next to his.
"What?" She mumbled, but then she remembered. She was stuck here for the night. She was going to have to sleep here. Hermione suddenly felt the need to look away from him, "No... no I can't do that, I've already bothered you enough... I don't want-"
"Please Hermione, I insist. It's... quite comfortable. And I know you need the rest. You'll uh, thank me in the morning."
He guided her over to the bed, where she jumped slightly from his touch. Draco dropped his hand and just motioned for her to proceed. With a huge gulp, Hermione crawled onto the sheets. Her knees immediately sagging deep into the fabric.
"Oh..." she sighed, running her hands all along the covers, "It is soft,"
He smirked, "Fifteen hundred thread count, Egyptian Cotton."
Hermione whirled around to face him, "Are you serious?"
"Well I wasn't going to sleep in some musky old sheets! Mother gave me them for my eighteenth birthday after her holiday. Enjoy" was all he said, motioning to the bed. "Good night," making his way over to the couch.
Hermione sniffed again before running her hand over the sheets, "How ever does he get up in the morning?" She said to herself before she wiggled out of her Hogwarts robe, tie, shoes and skirt, but leaving her Oxford shirt and socks before she tucked herself under the covers.
She stared up at the ceiling, and sighing at the extreme softness surrounding her, like she was melting into the fabric. Closing her eyes, she tried to focus on her breathing. 'Inhale... exhale... inhale... exhale...'
She hoped that sleep would come to her quickly.
3:53AM, in Draco's Room.
He couldn't sleep. His brain just wouldn't shut off.
"What the hell am I going to do?" He rested his head against the bricks as he stared up at the moon. It was one heck of a ride, dealing with her whirl-wind of emotions. He would bet the remainder of his possessions, she wouldn't remember half the things that happened tonight. Which was quite disheartening considering she sounded to be heading toward forgiving him.
"Yeah right," he huffed.
He heard her rustling, hoping her mind was kind enough to her to give her pleasant dreams than the nightmare she just endured with him. If he was honest with himself, he should just let her go. To let her carry on about her life.
Just as he was about contemplating Obliviating himself, he heard her voice.
"Draco? Is that you?"
He blinked and then turned around. Hermione was sitting up in the bed. From the moon light, he could see that her hair was all over the place and her shirt wrinkled. He never seen anything so beautiful.
"Hey, what are you doing up?" He said, concerned and surprised. What with the emotional duress she just endured, and the fact that the sheets were like sleeping on five clouds, he was certain she would've been knocked out until way into the morning.
Hermione shook her head, "My brain doesn't want to sleep, for some reason. Well actually no, that's a lie. I haven't been able to sleep at all..." she was surprised of how casual she was acting. Not just a few hours she was ripping into him like a Hippogriff. But now with some rest under her belt, she had a clearer head of the task at hand.
'That makes two of us,' Draco hummed to himself, "Would you like some Sleeping Draught?" he returned his gaze back to the outdoors. Yes, he should let her go. He was being far too selfish keeping her when she so badly wanted to part from him.
"Actually, I was... um... hoping we could talk more." Her voice was stronger now, "You know, now that I'm not a blubbering mess...and... neither of us can sleep. It's obvious what happened here isn't anything one can just blow over..."
'No, definitely not,' He mused as he twirled his ring in his fingers.
"You said all you could," Draco said getting up, "You should get some sleep. I'll get you the potion."
"No! I don't want to just... sleep it off," she hissed, climbing out of the bed to walk over to him. Shuddering slightly when the sudden cool air hit her bare legs. But she dismissed it, and reached Draco in two strides. "Draco..." She reached out and took a hold of his arm, pulling him to face her. Her heart leapt when he stepped closer to her. Half his face was hidden by shadow.
"Listen, you don't need to explain or apologize for anything, alright?" He said watching as her fingers danced along his forearm. "You had every right to act out the way you did. And quite frankly, I don't want to cause you anymore stress..."
"Well too bad!" She said more forcefully. "I need to get to the bottom of this..."
"What more can be said though?" He yawned with a shrug, "You obviously hate me and don't ever want to see or deal with me again, so... please, just drink the potion, get your much needed rest and then you can go about your life like it never happened..."
He pushed her hand off him and then he strolled over to a side cabinet.
"What?" She shook her head, "You think I can just walk away?"
"Well you don't trust me anymore, so how could you not?" He threw open the cabinet door, only for it to be smacked shut again by her hand. He looked to his side, catching the stern look in her eyes.
"So what..." Hermione began, licking her lips, "Everything you said earlier was just... a figment of my imagination then?! To say all those things but don't bother with the fight?"
"Well do I have a chance?" He croaked with disbelief. Now she was the one being confusing! "Believe me Hermione, I know there is no going back, and I certainly don't deserve your sympathy...so just... take the potion..."
"Stop it!" She snapped, gripping onto his arm again so she could pull him to face her. "Stop with this self-pity act! I won't stand for it! Can't you see I am actually forgiving you?"
Draco balked, taking a step back in shock, Hermione clasped a hand right to her mouth in surprise. 'God, do I?' She knew it was dangerous territory if she did, as she and McGonagall spent a good half an hour arguing about the issue with a mere promise that she would think about it. Not after what she just witnessed both here and back in the Great Hall, she realized, logically he wouldn't dare to hurt her again, not if he claimed to care about her as much as he admitted to, the idea of forgiving him was more clear. Forgive but don't trust.
"You... forgive me?" He repeated slowly, waiting for her response. He couldn't believe it. He was so sure she would just snub him!
"I..." she tried, but stopped. Closing her eyes to mentally will her heart to slow down. 'Well you've come this far...' "I suppose I am," She met his gaze, offering him a small smile. "I mean... if Ginny can forgive Dean for cheating on her... " She gave him a timid look. "And you have been rather... sorry about it, and my Mother always said everyone deserves a second chance..."
Draco didn't try to intervene, knowing it was best to just stand there silently as she talked her way through it. However, he did notice the tears returning to her eyes.
"So I've reached my decision." Hermione whispered, and with a newfound confidence, she stepped closer to him, "I forgive you, Draco." She went to reach for his chest but stopped herself once she got half-way. "But... do know that... well, actions speak a helluva lot more than words and you have been ramming your mouth quite a lot on how much you're sorry! You have one hell of a hill to climb if you think I can trust you again! I may be forgiving, but I certainly don't forget! I am still very angry at you for having done what you did!"
Draco took her hand instead, bringing it up to his lips to gently kiss the back of it. 'Whatever, I'm just glad she's giving me the chance'
"Thank you," he breathed as he pulled her toward him for a hug, wrapping his arms around her back. Happy for the second time she didn't fight him off. "I won't make you regret this, Hermione. I promise,"
'God I sure hope I'm making the right decision!' She thought, engulfing her nostrils with his cologne.
E/N: yay, they're back together! I'm not much of a angst person, so if their reunion was a little speedy, then... I apologize :/
I researched it, and apparently 1500 is the highest known thread count, which just so happens to be Egyptian Cotton! I myself have 600 thread count and it is bloody amazing (not Egyptian though). So I can only imagine what 1500 would be like.