A Son of Ice and Fire

Chapter 9: The truth laid bare

Hiccup

"YOU'RE LATE!" The booming voice of Stoick 'the Vast' Haddock was unmistakable as I walked into the room. Father was sat in his high chair at the head of the table. His eyes were cold, and his fists were clenched on the table. Even at his friendliest, the sheer size of the man would cause a shiver to run down the spine of the bravest men. His large, light brown beard almost covering his grimace as he rose to his feet. I'd spent the first sixteen years of my life being almost ignored by the man, but at the start of last year he had promised me he was trying to be my father again. But seeing him standing over me like this, with a look of anger on his face, almost makes me wish he'd never bothered trying to care and would just go back to ignoring me.

"I'm sorry dad, I didn't mean to worry you, I rode back as soon as I co…"

"AHHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The man's gut bounced up and down as his laughter echoed through the room, nearly startling me to death, "I KNEW IT!"

"Knew what?" I asked perplexed. Me and father didn't always click, but most of the time I at least had a clue of what he was on about.

"I bet that you wouldn't be able to resist staying the night. Our old humble blacksmith owes me a round," He cheered, as he lifted is tankard and started humming merrily.

"Is this all you and Gobber do when I'm not here, are you serious?" Gobber was father's best friend and so when I wasn't training or running off on errands, I would work with him. It's only because of him I gained the skills to forge my own sword. At least there was one thing I was good at.

"Hey, he started it, not me, son," Stoick stated, laughing again.

"I didn't really have a choice, you could have told me the King was visiting y'know."

"Slipped my mind son," he said anxiously, rubbing his beard, and shaking his head.

"Slipped. Your. Mind" I said condescendingly, giving a telling stare towards him.

"What did it matter? It wasn't the King you went to see anyway was it?" He said with a smirk, and a wink. Did I just see Stoick the vast wink? I must be hallucinating.

"What on earth are you on about dad?" I snapped at him.

"Stop kidding yourself son, we both know you went to see the girl son."

The girl, the girl, the girl, what on Earth is he on about. No. He can't be serious. No. No way he thinks that. "Are you on about Arya? Seriously dad?"

"I've seen the way you look at her, if you want me to me to mention the idea of an engagement to Ned I would be happy to put a good word in. To save her for you 'til she comes of age." What is going on? Is he seriously this deluded? I can only imagine what he's thinking has been going on. How much has he drank?

"Nothing is going on dad, I am not in love with Arya, I do not want to marry Arya. She's like a baby sister to me, how could you even think that, she's practically a child." I snapped back at him again.

"Your mother was ten years younger than me when we married, that had no effect on how we felt about each other." He reasoned.

"This is different. She's eleven. I'm…"

"18 now, I know," he interrupted, "you are also sole heir to this house Hiccup. Sooner or later you will have to marry and she…"

"She is practically a sister to me," I butted in, "I will not hear another word of this. Are you clear?"

"Alright, all right son. But you know as well as I do, you will need to marry." I shuddered at his words. I knew he was right, and it was my duty, but I still couldn't stomach the thought of it.

"Changing the subject swiftly on. I met King Robert, he was nicer than I expected. But he did say something that I need you to tell me the truth about." As soon as I said it I could see the fire in father's eyes. The slam of his fists on the table and an overly exaggerated fake laugh followed, and he slumped back into his chair. I walked over to him and pulled out the chair closest to him and sat down.

"What's wrong father, I didn't mean to upset you."

He reached across and grabbed my arm. I think it was a sign of affection, of sorts, but I was still a bit confused, "you haven't upset me son, I just can't hear his name without wanting to smash something. After all he did, I don't want you to ever speak his name again."

"Is it to do with me, he apologized to me in person. He said that you were a great man. I didn't think there was anything malicious behind his words." I told him honestly. Robert had only shown a slight hint of sadness when we spoke, but I dismissed it at being the result of the long journey he had from King's landing, and just wanting to get to peace and quiet.

Father faked another laugh, then I saw him growing angrier and tensing up, his face growing redder, almost to the colour of his beard. He picked up the plate from the table in front of him but calmed enough to lower it back down without it breaking into a thousand pieces.

"That wasn't sadness Hiccup, that man is incapable of compassion of any kind. Any apology he made was a lie. It's all he's good for." He stated coldly. I gave him a look to try to get him to continue. He sighed, and after a few moments he began again. "As one of Ned's commanders, I spent a lot of time with Robert during the war. He had a just cause to hate the Targaryens, he really did. After the horrors that were inflicted on Ned's family I willfully rode into battle for him, and for Robert. When Rhaegar fell at the trident, I wasn't saddened by his death. Or his father's death. The mad King deserved his fate. But Robert took it too far. I saw his anger, saw his grief, but neither me, Ned, or anyone else could bring him back to sanity. He vowed to kill every Targaryen he could get his hands on." I saw him droop back into his chair, eyes full of sorrow. A tear dripping from his eye. "And that's why he killed your mother."

"WHAT?" I screamed, "You said she died in childbirth." I couldn't help it my eyes were now flooding with tears. "YOU SAID IT WAS MY FAULT SHE WAS DEAD." I was practically screaming the castle down now, and I didn't care. For over sixteen years I had received nothing but contempt from him because I thought I had taken away the one thing he truly loved in the world, but it was a lie. It was all a lie. "WHY ME? I NEEDED A FATHER AND ALL YOU DID WAS BLAME ME. IT WASN'T EVEN MY FAULT."

"NO IT WAS MINE," he yelled back, "I TRUSTED HIM AND HE STABBED ME IN THE BACK. I HELPED WIN HIM HIS DAMNED THRONE AND BEFORE I EVEN GOT HOME FROM THE WAR SHE WAS GONE. I FOUND HER LYING THERE," he was almost in as bad as a state as me at this point, tears rolling his cheeks, "I ran in and found her laying there, you were crying in her arms. Her once bright purple eyes, now vacant. WHAT HAD I DONE TO DESERVE THAT? MY VALKA. My Valka. My Valka…" He looked broken, I couldn't bare to look at him like this. His large framed curled over like a slave waiting to receive a beating. I got out of my seat and ran up and hugged him,

"I'm so sorry dad. I'm so sorry."

"I always loved you son, but seeing you grow up looking so much like her hurt me more than you can imagine. You would come to me and I couldn't handle seeing you. I grew sad, then I grew angry. Angry at you for what he did to her. It was Gobber who broke me down enough to get me out of that cycle. Valka was gone, but you needed me more than ever, I needed to make things right. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you Hiccup, I didn't want to bring this all up."

"It's okay dad, Its okay."

"Why aren't you angry with me?" I looked up to see his blood-red eyes aching to be blamed and expecting me to lash out.

"I'm not one for flipping tables and smashing plates dad." I offered a wry smile and a slight chuckle, "there's been enough of that already over the past seventeen years."

"You can make a joke out of anything can't you?" He wiped his eyes and saw him offer his arms out again.

"You know it dad." I grinned and hugged him again. We were both a state. Faces red raw and soaked from the shouting and the tears. He released me from the bear hug that was ever so slowly cutting off my air supply. I gasped and offered a small nod, as if to tell him all would be fine.

"Can you go and get Gobber?" He asked me, "He needs to pay up on that bet and we're in real need of a drink right now."

"Sure thing dad, sure thing." I smiled as I walked out of the room. Falling back on the door as it closed behind me. I just sat there for a moment, reliving what I had just heard, but there was an aching feeling like it still wasn't the entire truth. What isn't he telling me?

As I crossed the courtyard in the pitch-black of night, I reached Gobber's shack. His forge covered a large amount of the space, but his shack was small and wooden and seemingly too small for a man of his size. Dad had offered many times to offer him a permanent room, but he preferred to sleep next to his work, his livelihood. Liked it being a bit more cozy apparently. I knocked on the door and sure enough, the large figure squeezed through to greet me. He was a bald man, with big, bushy blonde eyebrows and an impressive mustache, knotted on each side down to his waist. He had lost two limbs in battle, but that never stopped him. Gobber practically raised me through childhood, it's like he's part of the family.

"What can I do for yer laddie," he grinned with an open smile.

"Dad wants you to pay up for that bet," I saw him scrape his wooden stump over the ground in annoyance my father actually remembered, "NOW."

"Fine, I'll pay up," he grunted, "that girl really did a number on you, got you to stay the night?"

I stared at him with a cold expression, "it was you? You were the one who was whispering this into father's ears. I can't believe you," I gave him a disappointed look.

"What?" He looked shocked at my outburst, "She's perfect for you, strong-willed, fierce, unrelenting."

"Right, just shhhhhhh I'm not hearing this. What do I have to do to get you and dad to drop this?"

"Well you have to marry someone, one way or the other, so the only other option you got that will make your father drop it, is for you to ask him to find you a wife," Gobber laughed. I sighed heavily, only causing the man to start laughing even heavier.

I shuddered at the thought again, "Really?" I asked, blowing my cheeks out. Gobber just gave a solid nod. I stood there, stunned at what little choice I actually had in this matter "Gobber, I need to ask you something."

"What is it lad?" the man asked. I saw him exit the shack and lock the door. "You're getting me worried now."

"Did you know? About mother? About the King?" His pained nod was all I needed to know. I explained to him what father had told me and he reached forward to hug me.

"Your mother was a fine lady, good through and through, and they took her from us for nothing. Your father did leave out one part," I listened on attentively, "the person who poisoned her was too slow, or too clumsy to escape Stoick and I've heard tales of what happened to him. Not pretty if you ask me." I knew my father. Gobber had to saw his own leg off to stop the rot after being injured in a battle and that sounds like the worst thing imaginable, and if even he won't say what father did then it must have been bad. Gobber quickly turned around and unlocked his shack and went back inside. I thought about calling after him, but he returned moments later holding a small scroll.

"Stoick told me to wait until you were twenty to give this to you, but as you already know the truth there is no need to wait."

"What is it?" I asked

"I'd suggest to go back to your chambers and open it. I'll sort things with your dad. Go, lad, you need to read it."

Before Gobber had relocked his Shack and turned back around, I had gone, ran to my room. I lay on my bed. Staring up at the scroll as ran it through my fingers. I stopped when I hovered over the wax seal, bright red with the imprint of the three-headed dragon. The Targaryen sigil. Mother. I closed my eyes, then undid the seal and held the writing up to the light. I read the words over and over, all while tears flooded down my cheeks.

To my dearest Hiccup,

If you are reading this then I can only say how sorry I am. A mother's duty is to protect her children and keep them safe. I won't be able to do that for you now. I won't watch you take your first steps. I won't hear your first words. I won't watch you grow up, fall in love, and have children of your own. But I will always love you, my boy, know that. I can only hope your father is well, and has cared for you as I know he will have done. I know Robert will come for me, but I can't leave you, won't leave you. I will do what has to be done to keep you from harm.

My sweet boy, my beautiful boy. Even looking down at you now, I can see the man you were born to become. My only regret is that I can not be at your side to see it. From the day you were born, your father didn't think you would make it, but I looked into those large, emerald eyes and I saw you fight for every breath. Even when all hope was lost, I saw you fight your way back from the brink. I always knew you were special my boy, that you would accomplish great things and make me and your father so, so proud.

If I have any advice to give you son, it is this. Follow your own path, fight for what you believe and no matter what the odds, trust in yourself that you will be the one who will bring light from the darkness. My fire is part of you now, don't fear it, cherish it. I have no doubt you have many questions, and I am sorry I can not be there to answer them, but trust me when I say I will always be there with you, my boy. Always.

Love, mother.

I rolled the note back up, clutching it in my arms as a curled into a ball, letting the tears flow freely now as I rocked myself to sleep.