A Son of Ice and Fire

Chapter 19: And so it begins

Hiccup

Dad scrunched up the scroll in his giant paw-like hands and hurled it across the room so hard it dislodged the decorative axe hanging on the wall. The loud clash of metal on stone reverberated around the room, as the weapon fell, followed by the large thud as dad smashed his fists hard onto the desk. His eyes were pointed, and his gaze was fused with anger. He dropped back into his seat, his head dropped, and a look of defeat washed over him.

"Not again," he whispered softly, "not again."

"Isn't this what you wanted? The man that killed my mother is dead. Now she can rest."

"Take a look son." He said grimly, as he pointed to the crumpled-up letter at the far side of the room.

I got up and approached it, bending down slowly, and unravelling the note. I skimmed mover the parchment, noting every key detail, and mumbling them softly, "King Robert is dead… murdered by the Lannisters… lord Eddard Stark imprisoned on false claims of treason… I call upon my bannermen to help free my father… protect the north from those who would try to destroy us…" I looked up to see father with a hand over his face, his other clenched into a fist on the hard-wooden table. I reached the last two words on the page, and the signature beneath it, "this is signed by Robb Stark."

"Last time I went South to war, when I came home Valka was gone." Dad hissed.

"Robb is my friend, as lord Stark is yours. We have to go." I replied.

"WE? THERE IS NO WE! You are my only son. You will remain here and rule this castle." He snapped.

"What? Are you kidding me? I'm not a child, father. I'm eighteen. Boys of fourteen go off to…" I tried to reason.

"YOU'RE STILL A BOY. MY BOY. YOU WILL STAY IN THESE WALLS UNTIL THE FIGHTING IS OVER!"

"I can wield a sword better than most here. I have built my own shield and armour. I am strong enough to represent our house. Just give me a chance to…"

"NO HICCUP. NO. MY DECISION IS FINAL!"

"Don't I get a choice? Just let me…"

"NO HICCUP! FOR THE LAST TIME!" Dad stood up as his volume went up another four notches. His demeanor now aggressive and firm. "YOU ARE NOT A FIGHTER. YOU ARE NOT A SOLDIER. I WILL NOT HAVE YOU RUNNING OFF TO FIGHT IN A WAR." He scolded.

"Oh, now I know how you really feel. What shame you must feel looking at me. I never was good enough to make you proud, was I dad? Never strong enough. Never brave enough. Never able to live up to the reputation of 'Stoick the vast'."

"Son, I never meant to…"

"TO WHAT? TO TREAT ME LIKE AN OUTCAST FOR YEARS AND YEARS. TO CONSTANTLY TELL ME I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH. TO COMPARE ME TO EVERY OTHER SON OF EVERY OTHER LORD. TO TELL ME HOW MUCH OF A DISSAPOINTMENT I WAS TO YOU." I screamed.

"You don't understand."

"I understand perfectly. You want me to hide away, while all the real men go off to fight. I am not a coward dad, no matter how much you think I am. I will not sit this out."

"YES. YOU. WILL!" Dad yelled, standing imposingly over me, his cheek twitching in rage. His eyes were cold and his body tense. But if he thinks I am going to back down on this one, then he has a big surprise coming. I stood up straight, staring directly into his eyes. He was a good foot taller than me, and almost two or three times as wide, but I had nothing to prove to him anymore.

"You can not intimidate me, father. If all the north is marching south. I am marching south with them. If Robb has called the banners, then his father must be in serious danger. That means Arya, and Sansa, are prisoners in the capital. I will not let you stop me from trying to help them." With that, I shot father one last disapproving glare as I stormed out, slamming the thick wooden door behind me as I left. I knew why he wanted to keep me here, but our friends, and our men would be going off to war. Who would I be if I stayed?

For two days after that I had avoided my father. I spent most of the day at the forge with Gobber, and at night, I would sleep in the cove. The anger and judgement of my father had spread like a plague through the castle, and I had to get away from it all. As a thousand or so of father's men appeared in larger and larger numbers at the castle following the announcement to call the banners, even staying in the courtyard was unbearable. The way they looked up my father, believed in him. Trusted him to keep them safe. That's all I ever wanted. However, as I got back from the cove this afternoon, the castle was quiet. A chilling breeze carried the silence as I headed back. As I reached the south gate, I saw the marks in the sludgy mud. Thousands of foot and hoof prints littering the exit, and trailing off into the distance. As I was greeted at the entrance by the guards on duty, the gates opened and all that there was in front of me was an empty courtyard. No soldiers sparring in the yard. No horses neighing in the stables. No commands being bellowed by father. No, he couldn't have left. He couldn't have gone. Gobber popped his head out of the forge and as I looked at him with a confused expression, he offered one solitary nod. An acknowledgment of deep down what I already know. Dad had gone to war…

My legs buckled, and I collapsed into the mud. Gobber came running and put his arm around me, dragging me from the sludge to my feet.

"How could he do this Gobber? How?" I murmured.

"He's stubborn, he's uncompromising and… he's your father." Gobber said softly

"But I wanted to…"

"You think he'd actually let yer go, lad? This is Stoick Haddock we are talking about."

He ushered me through the courtyard. Slowly pulling me along, until we reached the steps at the other side. He put me down on the third to bottom step, and took a seat next to me. He offered a wry smile, and handed me a small scroll of paper. I slowly unraveled it, to see father's large, chunky handwriting.

Son,

I know we have had our differences, but I need you to trust me in this. You know why I've gone, where I've gone, and why I left you behind. Trust me when I say that I will do everything I can for your friends. A lord protects his own. Protect our home and protect our people for when I return. Do not come after me, son. One day you will rule our house and I couldn't be more proud of you.

Hiccup, I am a soldier. I do my duty. I fight, I kill, and one day I will die with a sword in my hand. You are not like me, son. I've always known that. I tried to turn you into something you weren't, and that wasn't right, wasn't fair. I have suffered so much in my life; the longer I can keep that side of the world from you, the longer I can keep my promise to your mother. I will keep you safe. I only hope that one day, I will see you again. And one day, you'll be able to forgive me. Good luck, my son. I believe in you.

Love, Father

"Your dad can be a stubborn, senseless fool at times, laddie, but yer mean more to him than anyone else in this world. He has trusted yer to hold this place together for him. Can yer do that?" Gobber asked, his bushy eyebrows raising up as he offered a comforting smile.

"Hold what together? Everyone is gone." I snapped back.

"There is still a garrison of forty men here, that your father left to hold the castle. The smallfolk in the surrounding villages will be looking to you now for advice, and for protection. Winter isn't that far around the corner, we need to start preparations. There is a lot still to do here Hiccup, we all need you to step up." I took a deep breath to consider his words, but before I could reply, he just had to add one more thing, "Oh, and you need to be here to meet the Hofferson girl. That was your father's last order after all."

"Uuuhhhhhh. Fine." I grumbled.

"Hiccup, I know yer think that your dad doesn't appreciate yer, but I've seen what yer can do. This is yer chance to prove to, not only Stoick, but yourself, what I already know. Yer could become one of the greatest lords that has ever ruled this castle. Ruling it in your own way, not Stoick's. But we need yer now. Here." Gobber patted me heavily on the back, nearly knocking me off the step, and back into the dirt again.

I gave Gobber a small nod in agreement. While a large part of me almost demanded that I run off to join father, the other half was forcing me to stay put. Why is doing the right thing so hard? Whichever choice I make, people will suffer. My heart was beating fast now, my fate so dependent on the decision I was making. Like the flip of a coin. I closed my eyes, flicking through all the possibilities. All the options. Stay or go. Protect or fight. It took me a long moment, but I snapped my eyes open, and turned to look at the one-handed man.

"So Gobber, where do I start?"