A Son of Ice and Fire
Chapter 20: Like father, like son
Fishlegs
A month had passed, and apart from small missions checking on repairs for the wall, I had not had to venture that far north. I didn't want to be a ranger, but with my training, and the sword, it was clear why I had been given that duty. Gods I am so stupid. I should have acted like a timid little mouse, backed from every attack like Sam had done at the start. If only I'd have been smarter I could be sat in the library reading or cooking in a kitchen. But no. I had to be a fool and step up the first time I saw someone in trouble. Damn it. Going out into the wilderness to fight massive beasts, wildlings and 'those that will not be named' was the price I'd have to pay. But at least I know have 'friends'. Still sounds weird saying that. At home, people were always nice and treated me with respect, but I could see past the fake smiles and through the charade. It was just one big performance, and I had to play along. Here there was no act, no script, no right to anything. What you get is what you earn, and that is in many ways liberating, up to a point. I didn't need to do anything but be me, and that, in itself could be even more terrifying.
The revelation that a dead man came back to life within the walls of the castle shook me to the core. My father always used to read me stories, but now they were no longer stories. Stories of dragons, giants, and white walkers. Of a world before man, and a time before houses and kingdoms. Maybe this was fate. That my dad had to go, so I could be here to do my duty. Everything happens for a reason, right? The lord commander had told us that soon, most of the watch would be heading out to investigate further. That means that it would be the first time I would have to go on an actual mission north of the wall. Gods help me. I hadn't got off on the best foot with Ser Alliser, but over the past few months I'd managed to gain his respect. A bit off it at least. The man was highborn and stubborn, and he couldn't be any less pleasant if he tried. However, he had started allowing me to train some of the new recruits and even work with some of the stewards that would be going with us when we went past the wall.
It was a long day of training, but even with that, I had decided to stay in the library with Sam for a few hours after that. It had grown dark, and so Sam had decided to call it a night. My eyes were slowly going, but the last chapter in the botany book I was reading seemed a better alternative to sleep. I was the last one there, and as I left to get some rest, the entire castle was silent. As I silently reached the hallway of the barracks, I was hobbling in small, soft steps to ease the aching in my legs. I'd practiced for hours at a time at home, but the unrelenting nature of the training Sir Alliser had ordered me to do had left me sore in places I didn't know I had. The men's sleeping quarters were dim, the rooms were small and the beds were rickety. A single candle at each end of the hallway and one in the middle were the only source of light. I went to open my door, but as I focused my eyes, I could see the outline of a man exiting his room at the far end. The figure wasn't especially tall, but he was carrying multiple packs under each arm. As the candles flickered, the man's curly black hair formed a shadow on the wall. I watched as he tried to close the door behind him as quietly as possible, before creeping his way over a few more floorboards. A loud crunching sound startled him, as the floorboard squeaked loudly under his foot. He muttered angrily under his breath, but it was only then he looked up to notice me staring at him.
"Jon, what are you doing?" I whispered as quietly as I could, but firmly enough so he could understand my intentions. He let out a long sigh, before ushering me over. As we entered his room, I noticed how bare everything was.
"Quiet okay." He whispered back, while sitting on the bed and dropping all of the packs carefully onto the floor. He reached into his black coat, and pulled out a small scroll, then handed it to me. I reached out, slowly taking it and unravelling it. As my eyes traced over the words, I could see Jon's head dropping lower and lower. "My father. He's dead. My sisters. Prisoners in the capital. My brother. Marching south to war."
"Jon I…" I stuttered
"How I can stay here, Fish? My place is at Robb's side."
"You know what we are fighting against here. We are all brothers here. We need you."
"All I am here is a steward. No-one would even know I'd gone."
"Except me, Sam, Pip, Grenn, half the men in the castle, Sir Alliser, oh, and the how about the lord commander. He gave you that sword. He chose you, over every other person in castle black, to be his personal steward."
"I know," Jon nodded sadly, "but I can't let my house get destroyed. I won't sit at the edge of the world and watch as more and more of my family dies."
"I know that more than anyone Jon. I always planned on going home and avenging my father's death, but now I know that this is more important."
"Your father? You told me he kicked you out and forced you to come here."
"Yeah, about that." I said nervously, while rubbing the back of my head. "That wasn't exactly the complete truth." He looked at me with a puzzled look, so I continued. "My father… he was killed in front of me. He managed to get me away, and gave me the sword to restore our house. I had to watch as he gave his life to save mine. The only thing worse is that it was my uncle that killed him." I let out a deep breath, taking a seat next to Jon on the bed. He looked at me with sorrow in his eyes.
"I'm sorry, I didn't…" He mumbled.
"Look Jon. I can't tell you what the right choice is, but you're not the only one here who has lost people. How many more will we lose if what we fear is coming this winter, actually comes?"
With that I got up and walked to the door. I had done all I could to convince him, but it was his own choice. I could see he was lost in thought, so I slowly closed the door behind me and walked back to my room. I immediately fell onto the bed, utterly exhausted, and not a minute had passed before I was out for the night.
I awoke late, and the morning was almost finished. The light was beaming in through the small window and I got up quickly and put on my large black cloak. It was heavy, but its thickness is the main reason is the only reason I haven't frozen to death yet. I opened the door, yawning heavily as I stepped out. I turned right, towards the exit, but I stopped as I heard the unmistakable loud crunch of the floorboards behind me.
"JON!" I exclaimed
"Thank you, friend," he replied, "thank you for stopping me last night."
"So you're going to stay?" I asked eagerly. He nodded, pulling out the valerian steel sword, Longclaw, that the lord commander had given to him. He stroked his hand over the white wolf pommel, then onto the blade.
"You were right," Jon said with a smile, while looking down at the sword. "If we don't protect the north from everything beyond the wall, there will be nothing for Robb to come back to, when the war is over. My father was a man of honour. If I broke the oath and deserted the watch, he would be so ashamed."
"There never be a harder choice than this. By staying, you are doing your father proud." I smiled encouragingly.
"I hope so. I really do," he replied tentatively, "when we head out beyond the wall next week, we will truly see what we're up against."
"Can't wait for that," I sighed unenthusiastically. "Wildlings, wolves and white walkers, what's not to look forward to."
"Hey, wolves aren't all bad," Jon joked, "Ghost hasn't eaten you yet."
"Well, I suppose that is one good thing." I chuckled, "Up for sparring?"
"Only if you don't go easy on me again. Don't want you getting hurt again." Jon laughed with a wide smile
"You'll pay for that!" I exclaimed cheerily, as we rushed down to the courtyard and got into position. I raised the blunt sword as he did.
"For the watch!" I yelled out. Not much of a battle cry, but I'll work on it.
"For the watch!" Jon yelled back with a light chuckle. I was just glad to have my friend back, at least I know he'll have my back beyond the wall.