A Son of Ice and Fire

A/N: This season is starting to hot up, and we are at roughly halfway in S3. With Astrid back in the capital, there will be plenty of character interactions I can now include, and this will be very important for the upcoming seasons. I didn't realise how much actually happened in S3, so the next few chapters may feel slightly rushed, but I want to make sure I get everything I want to include in there by chapter 70 at the latest. Thank you for the continued support, and if you have any ideas where you think the season will end, let me know. I love to know your feedback, and I'd like to know what you think about the season so far :)

Guest: When you put it like that, yeah I do think Haddock would be classed as a Targaryen branch family. There is so much history between the Houses it seems right.

Guest: Thank you, I'll try and get back to the regular schedule ASAP, but for the next month and a bit it'll be all over the place.

Chapter 60: Nightmares with no end

Ruffnut

Days flew by like leaves on the wind. I woke up, I ate, I drank, I fought, and then I went back to sleep. Getting away from everything seemed the only option. The only way I could possibly move on. But something about this life just feels like I'm going through the motions. Just walking around in circles and not going anywhere. Leaving my past behind didn't make me feel free. It didn't make me stronger. All that it did was leave me empty. I could walk around, wear a smile on my face, but inside I just felt hollow. Purposeless. Like a sword with an edge so dull you couldn't even use it to scratch an itch, I felt useless.

I would sit awake at night for hours, just thinking about if this was as good as it would ever get. I would think back to that night in the woods and the voice in the flames. I would think about Finn, and make up scenarios about how his life would have changed after we parted ways. Does he have a wife? Children? Or does he feel just as miserable and alone as I do? I would think about Dagur, and how thankful I was he was with me. I know he doesn't love me, I'm not that stupid, but having him here has made it at least partly bearable. But above all else, I would think about Tuff. The brother to the world's worst sister, and yet somehow he never gave up on me. From stopping me getting raped to infiltrating a castle stronghold to rescue me, he never once faltered. And I threw him away. Sent him off alone thinking he failed me. Brother, I'm sorry.

"You could have saved me," came a weak strangled voice behind me. I span around sharply, but there was only darkness. "You let this happen." Breathing heavily, I jarringly shook my head in all directions, but the black veil was so thick I could barely see my own legs. "This was your fault!" With every word, the distorted voice sounded weaker, but the sound grew ever closer. I reached to my waist for my sword, but my belt wasn't there. My hand snaked inside my coat pocket, but even my dagger was gone. With footsteps bounding towards me, I tried to back away, but it was as if my feet were made of stone. I tried to drag myself way, but there was nowhere to go. I turned and ran, my steps heavy, and I refused to look back as the voice closed in on me. "You failed me," it called, a tone bitter and scathing. That time, no warping concealed the true owner of the words, and it stopped me in my tracks. A blazing heat began to scorch against my back, and I slowly turned around to see a blinding light. From its core came a figure, broken and down on one knee, a sword through his chest. I stumbled back in shock, as a tear trickled down his cheek, "Was it worth it, Sister?"

I rushed forward, and as I moved, the darkness began to fade with every step. In its place was an even more terrifying landscape. Home. My home. Thorhold. No, I'm far away from here. This can't be real. This is a dream. It's not real. But it all seemed exactly that. It seemed too real. The grand castle I'd been brought up in, it was now a ruin. The two towers that once soared high into the sky were now but a pile of rubble. The thick walls now nothing more than scattered slabs of rock laying all around. In the middle of it all was Tuff, and as I reached him, I barely had the strength to speak. His eyes met mine, and he sighed, looking down at himself defeatedly. He flicked the sword sticking out of him almost casually, and then with a click of his fingers it vanished, leaving only the gaping hole in its place. He shook his head once, and then looked back up to me, "Why, Sister? Why did you do this to me?"

He began to shake, and I instinctively pulled him into a hug as he rattled against me. "It's alright Tuff, I'm here. I'm here," I reassured him.

"But you weren't!" He snapped. "You left me. This is because of you!"

"Nooo!" I shrieked, as his head rolled limply onto my shoulder, and his eyes began to close. "No. No. No. No. No." I tried to shake him, but all I could feel was a weak heartbeat against my hand.

"I needed you," he sobbed, "and where were you? When they got me, I called for you. I called for you every day, but you never came. You never came."

"I thought you'd be best without me," I said quietly, my voice cracking halfway through.

"You were wrong."

"Don't say that," I tried to protest, "all I wanted was for you to be safe. I didn't want this."

He brought a hand up to hold mine, "I'm scared, Ruff," he murmured quietly, "I don't want to die." His tears flowed freely, and then a few moments later he fully sagged against me. I wrapped an arm around his back, and raised his head, but there was no response.

"Tuff?" I asked, hoping for any single sign he was still there. My call didn't get answer, and the deathly silence was making my heart bleed as well. "Tuff? Tuff! TUFF! TUFF! TUFF!" I shouted, rocking backwards and forwards with him in my arms, as I closed my eyes and held his lifeless body tight to mine.

"TUFFFFFF!" I screamed, but the light nearly burned my eyes as I jolted forward. "NO! TUFF NO!" My entire body was shaking, and a chill swept across my bare arms making me tremble more. Two firm hands fixed on my shoulders held me in place, and as I adjusted to the light, the flash of red was the first thing I saw.

"Hey. Hey. You're alright. You're alright. You're safe now," Dagur said softly, as he sat himself on the edge of the bed. "Another nightmare?" It took me a moment to snap back to reality, but once I did, I nodded ashamedly. I pulled the covers up above my shoulders, but it still couldn't quell the vigorous shaking of my bones. The tent was quite large and spacious, and it was relatively comfortable, but the only thing I could want now would be my own bed. And my brother back. "Want to talk about it?" He asked cautiously.

"I saw him die. I saw Tuff die. It was so real," I whimpered, shuddering with every breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?" He asked immediately, laying a hand on my knee.

"I need to go home. This was a mistake," I stated bluntly. His hand flinched back, and I saw the hurt in his eyes.

"B-But," He stuttered, "we have a great life here." He reached to stroke my cheek, but I swatted his hand away.

"No. You have a good life here," I growled. "A meaningless, monotonous life that is not worth living. Here I am just hiding away from everything, and it's only making me ill. These nightmares have been happening since we left Westeros, and they keep just getting more serious and more frequent. I'm falling apart here, and I can't stand it. I can't!"

"Ruff wait, we can get through this," he said firmly.

"I'm sorry," I sighed, "but you can't help me. I thought I could deal with this. I thought – I thought it would be better if I left. I was wrong."

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying I'm going home," I answered him sternly. "Tuff might hate me, but he can hate me as long as he wants as long as he is alive. I can't get that image of him dying out of my mind, and until I can see him again, it's all I will ever see." Dagur let out a deep breath and nodded.

"I understand," he said quietly as he looked down. He sighed heavily, and when he spoke it was barely above a whisper, "I can't come with you."

"I know you can't," I replied, as I lifted his head up to look at me. "I know you've suffered a lot, and I know I couldn't force you to come back after all they did to you. Just promise me one day you'll stop running. I'm not the only one to have a brother back home that needs me."

"I told him one day I'll go back, and I will," he said with a guarded smile, "one day."

I nodded and wrapped my arms around him. "Thank you," I told him as he hugged me back, "for everything."

"You saved me as much I saved you," he replied warmly. "Just promise you'll keep safe."

"With Tuff around, safe is never an option," I chuckled, "but I'll try my best."

He released me and I grinned at him, before I slid myself out of the sheets and walked over to the far side of the tent. I lowered myself down to open one of the bags that I had packed when we had departed Johann's ship. I hadn't been able to open it before today, the feeling of guilt too great, but now it felt to be just the right moment. I undid the tie at the top of the sack and reached in to find the bulky handle aching to belong in my palm. With a smile trying to force itself across my lips, I pulled the weapon free and brought it to rest against my chest. "Come on, Macey, it's time we both go home!"

Astrid

The gates to the capital opened infront of us, and Lady Mala led the Lannister retinue into the city, with Throk at her side. The man had apologised profusely after what happened to Heather and it hadn't taken me long to forgive him. She was a bit more wary, but the further into the journey we got, the more she let her guard down and accepted him. I puffed my cheeks out as my horse trotted inside the city walls, and Heather peered nosily over my shoulder, taking in the sights of King's landing. The Commander had sent word ahead, and before we'd even had time to dismount, a man rushed towards us to welcome us to the city. He was jittery in nature, and his eyes flicked between as many people in the group as he could see.

He finally finished scanning and focused on the woman leading our party. "Lady Mala," he said joyfully, greeting her with a bow, "you're earlier than expected. Lord Tywin is currently in a small council meeting, but allow me to get you settled in," he finished in a cheery voice and his face lit up with a practiced smile.

"Thank you," Mala responded, quick and cold. I'd come to quite enjoy her company in few weeks of riding, and in many ways she reminded me of myself. Strangers would be met with an emotionless ice block, whereas those closest would bring out everything needed to thaw it. It had been so long since I'd had to revert back to that old self, but here, in a place so full of liars and backstabbers, a detached frame of mind would be my only defence.

As the man's gaze drifted past her to me, he took a small step forward and bowed again. "Lady Astrid, the capital is made brighter by your presence," he said enthusiastically.

"Thank you, Sir," I replied, putting on a fake smile of my own to hide the fact I was cringing inside. The capital is made brighter by your presence? What kind of crap is that? He practically bounced up towards me, offering me his hand to help me down off the horse. Reluctantly I accepted it, and swivelled one leg over so I was in position to climb down. Heather followed my lead, accepting the unnecessary aid nonetheless and landing next to me. "This way!" He beamed, waving his hand in the direction of the Red Keep. I shared an uneasy look with Heather, who tried to reassure me with a genuine smile and a pat of the shoulder, but I could tell there was something untoward going on.

Mala and Throk retook their position at the head of the group, and me and Heather trailed a few steps behind. The two dozen or so Lannister men that had escorted us to King's Landing walked in pairs behind us, and nearly all the people of the city parted as we stormed through the streets. I let out a deep sigh as I stared up at the castle. The wonder I once had for the capital, now nothing more than a faded memory. I used to marvel at the grandeur of it all; I would beg my parents to take me away from home so I could see more of the world. But they were the dreams of a girl. A girl who could never have imagined that one of her trips would have changed everything. How her previous animosity to even the thought of settling down and starting a family had vanished in mere months. And as we took our first steps inside the castle, all I could think is that this is the last place I ever want to stay.

We were guided through the castle grounds, and all eyes were once more on us. I kept my head down, staring mostly at the red stone beneath my feet, as we headed deeper inside. Up a set of stairs and along a corridor adjacent to the tower of the hand we walked, and all that way not a single word was spoken. The man leading us turned sharply, raising one palm to ask us to wait, and then he walked ahead towards a room just far enough so we couldn't hear him knock. He gingerly opened the door, and a few moments later, a succession of people exited out of the room. From previous trips to the capital, I recognised them all, and nearly all of them had their eyes trained on me as they headed in our direction.

The first was a slender man with a pointed beard on his chin. A moustache snaked across his upper lip, and his eyes narrowed in a manner that sent a shiver down my spine. He sauntered towards me, giving an overly excessive bow, and he rose with a smarmy smile on his face. "Ahh, my Lady," he said charmingly, "I see you've finally returned to the capital. If there is anything I can do for you in your time here, just let me know."

I smiled back, not wanting to make a bad impression. "Thank you, Lord Baelish, but I don't think I'll be staying in King's Landing for long," I said warmly. His face momentarily froze in what must be confusion, but it soon returned to his previous friendly expression.

"As you say, my Lady. Well, I'll be around if you need any help settling in," he said invitingly. I maintained my smile, pushing down the creepy vibes that I was getting from him. With a polite nod, I firmly ended the conversation, and he glided away down the corridor.

Close behind Littlefinger was a man I knew all too well, and his reputation had already solidified my thoughts on him. His golden robe hugging him as he flounced effortlessly in our direction. My eyes were set sharply in his direction, and all I could think of was how Heather had cried in my arms when she had told me the Spider had found her mother. I could feel her visibly tense behind me, and I reached a steady hand behind me to calm her. He looked slightly unnerved when he saw Heather nearly hiding behind me, and I maintained my firm stare with him. As much as I would like to have a go, he, above anyone else, I would need on my side. He could get me the information both me and Heather need. With his spy network, there's a chance he could have eyes inside Dragon's edge. He would be my last hope. The man didn't say a word, only offering a smile and a bow as he passed, and I kept my eyes on him long after he had walked past us.

When I turned back, I was met with a scathing snarl and eyes full of anger. Golden hair was curled finely over both of her shoulders, and she wore a fine silk dress coloured a bright red. Her entire body language was rigid, and it looked as if she was fighting the urge to lunge at me as she stomped towards me. I met Cersei's glower, unable to think as to why the Queen (or former Queen) was looking at me like I had committed some unspeakable crime against her. Her eyebrows were dipped and not once did the fire in her eyes lessen as she made her way down the corridor. Approaching me, her grimace only deepened, contorting her face in a way that was astonishingly unflattering. She let out a slight growl under her breath as she charged past, barging into my shoulder on her way as she headed off.

I looked back and forth between where she had been where and where she had gone, and the bemusement must have been clear on my face. What the hell was that about? I've never spoken to her in my life, what could I have possibly done to deserve that? "I'm sorry, my Lady," came a firm voice that snapped me from my thoughts. I immediately turned to see Tyrion Lannister stood, rocking on his heels awkwardly. Not a man I know well, but on the rare occasions I had spoken to him before, he was always polite and gentlemanly. I couldn't stop my eyes from glancing between him and the direction that Cersei had just gone, and when I looked back to him I could see the slightest bit of compassion in his eyes.

"Will someone please tell me what is going on?" I pleaded, holding my arms out infront of me. "All I want to do is go home. Why am I here?"

Surprisingly, he took a step forward, and he reached up and placed a hand on my shoulder. "You aren't to blame, but she'll blame you anyway," he said softly. There was a scar across his nose that wasn't there the last time I had a seen him, and it made me glad that the ones I have could be hidden. He looked as miserable as I felt, and just by the way he was looking at me, I could sense my day was only going to get worse. "You don't need to worry, my Lady, my father will be sure to tell you everything," he said solemnly. I nodded sharply, and he gave me a weak smile as he followed the previous three down the corridor and out of sight.

I let out a few deep breaths, and when I nodded to Mala, she led us into the room. She stood tall and proud, with Throk at her side, though slightly behind her. Me and Heather followed them in, while the rest of the soldiers waited at the door. The room was choked by a silence, and as Lord Tywin stood from his chair, it was as if no-one dared to speak. I could only see one side of his face from behind the Commander's back, but I have to admit, even that was enough to instil a feeling of dread in my gut. Dressed in all black, the old lion was grizzled and stiff. He stood firmly, never once even blinking as he cast his eyes across the four of us. I would be lying if I said that I didn't feel even the slightest bit of fear, because even being in close proximity to him felt like I was imminent danger.

Lady Mala took a step forward, and curtseyed. "My Lord," she said firmly. She went to continue, but Twin simply raised a hand and it cut her off before she even attempted it.

"Lady Mala, once again you have exceeded my expectations," he said flatly, somehow managing to show not even the slightest expression of gratitude on his face. "Take your men and go home. This war is coming to an end. You have earned your leave. Dismissed"

"Thank you, my Lord," she replied, and both her and Throk curtseyed and bowed respectively. Almost as quickly as the conversation had begun, it had ended, and they swiftly left, leaving only me and Heather in the firing line.

"This matter is not for your concern, Lady Heather," he stated coldly. I gingerly tilted my head to look at her, and she was already looking at me with questioning eyes. With a few nods and a squeeze of her hand I got my message across, but she still had an unconvinced look on her face as she exited the room. I turned back to him, and he stared intently at me as he interlocked his fingers. "Sit," he ordered roughly. I quickly obliged, seating myself at the far end of the long wooden table. He remained standing a few seconds, even after I had taken my place, but eventually he sat himself down at the head of the table. "Do you know why you are here?" He asked, his gaze focused directly on me, and I had to fight the urge to shift uncomfortably in my chair.

"No, my Lord, " I answered strongly, "I was travelling home when your men ambushed me and I was brought here."

"Ambushed?" He questioned, raising one eyebrow.

"I was taken into the protection of Lady Mala outside of Harrenhall," I said firmly. "A few soldiers saw a lady alone and thought I would be an easy target. They were wrong."

"I've heard," he said in a deep voice. "This is not what I expected." The atmosphere was growing ever tenser, and I realised I would have to make a stand.

"They wanted to take what was mine, but I had the right to defend myself," I declared proudly. "I do not regret my actions. Tell me, if someone wanted to take what was yours, wouldn't you do everything in your power to make sure they fail?"

Surprisingly, his lip ever so slightly curled into a small grin. "I would," he agreed, "and I have." He raised a hand, and rubbed his chin sharply with his thumb. "Tell me, how you were able to defeat my men. It is no wonder we keep losing battles if all my men are this incompetent."

"My brother trained me," I admitted freely, "I wanted to make sure that I could defend myself against any threats. You never know when you'll run into an enemy."

"Is that what you think I am?" He asked, his eyes searching for any deceit in my response.

"No, my Lord," I replied firmly, maintaining eye contact at all times. "I've been informed of the alliance that exists and about the future marriage between King Joffrey and Lady Margaery. In truth, all I want is to go home. I've been away from my family for too long."

"Hmm," he murmured, "and why was that so? Why were you find so far north?"

His questions were direct and it momentarily caused me to stumble on my words. "It was not my choice," I finally answered him. "It was before the war started, and my parents were determined to find me a husband, so they sent me up to the north to meet… the most feasible match."

"And did you?"

"Did I what?"

"Find yourself this most feasible match," he answered sharply, cutting through superficial layers and getting straight to the point.

"No," I said sharply, trying to keep a straight face. "We were not compatible, not that it matters now, because he is dead." Keep it together Astrid, you can do this.

"Ohh," he said without a single shred of sympathy, as he tilted his head encouraging me to continue.

"I stayed there because I feared it would be too dangerous to cross the length of the country during the height of the war. I planned to wait it out until it would be safe, but Ironborn stormed the castle and I barely escaped with my life. Me and my sister ran and headed for home; that's where Lady Mala's men found us," I told him firmly, although the way he was looking made it seem as if he saw right through me.

He took a few moments to contemplate my words and then he briskly stood up, keeping both his palms fixed firmly on the table. "I'm afraid, my Lady, you will not be going home for some time," he said firmly.

"Can you repeat that, my Lord?" I asked in shock.

"You will not be going home because your place is in the capital," he replied sharply, his tone deadly serious. "Margaery will marry Joffrey and unite the houses of Lannister and Tyrell. And when Tommen comes of age, your marriage to him will unite the Houses of Lannister and Hofferson."

"My m-marriage?" I stuttered. This can't be happening. This isn't real. What have my parents done? Why have they done this to me?

"The joint forces of your House, as well as the Tyrells, were necessary in preventing Stannis taking this city," he said begrudgingly. "The Tyrells chose their price. The Hoffersons did as well." I had to look down so he didn't see the anger that was burning within me. I can't believe they'd do this. Sell me off like a prize horse without even giving me a choice. Did they even think about me before they did they this? How dare they!

"Is this decision final?" I asked him, raising my head and trying to maintain some level of calm.

"You don't approve?" He asked casually, but there was a hidden edge to his words.

"It's not that, it's just all so sudden," I lied, "it's a lot to take in."

"The wedding should take place a month or two after the King's. By then you will be ready," he declared

"Yes, my Lord," I complied, as I stood up. He remained statuesque, so I simply gave a quick curtsey and left as quickly as I could.

I barely even felt my feet as I just allowed myself to sprint away. I didn't know where I wanted to go, but as long as it was dark and quiet it would do. I could hear light footsteps following me, and eventually I just gave up the battle and dropped to my knees. Heather rushed infront of me, kneeling and shaking me, as I just stared at her through glazed eyes. She was right there, but I could barely even see her. I was so lost in my mind, with every emotion taking its turn to knock me down even further. She pulled me in close, as I tried to wake myself up from this nightmare. "I can't get married," I mumbled as a tear trickled down my cheek, "I won't marry him!"