"We were together. I forgot the rest." -Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass
A dull and harsh buzzing briefly filled the apartment, lazily commanding the attention of the sole inhabitant. Spencer rushed over to the intercom on the wall, sweeping critical eyes over his newly-cleaned apartment one last time before checking the small screen on the panel that corresponded to the security camera mounted over the front door. He grinned, recognizing the petite figure fussing with her mane of bushy curls. He pushed the "talk" button then had a brief moment of panic upon realizing he hadn't planned his greeting ahead of time.
"U-uh, hey - er - Hermione." He immediately cringed and hit his head against the wall next to the intercom. Note to self: the hypothesis "It Doesn't Matter How Well You Know a Pretty Girl, You Will Still Be Dorky Around Her Sometimes", has been confirmed.
"Hello Spencer." Her voice, as always, was warm and welcoming and not the least bit awkward.
"You can come on up," he said, deciding to get the inevitably awkward 'well, this is my apartment' scene over and done with. He was about to press the button to open the front door for her when her sharp voice, slightly fuzzed with static, blazed over the speaker:
"Oh no you don't! I'm not coming up, you're coming down." She declared.
Reid frowned. That wasn't part of their pre-arranged plans. She was supposed to come over and they were going to hang out at his apartment. "But -"
"Spenc er Reid, it is a beautiful day and we are going to spend it outside!" Hermione said, turning her playfully scowling face up to the camera. "So put on your shoes and whatever because we are going on a bloody walk!" A beat, then, "And no books!"
Reid couldn't help but laugh. "Yes ma'am… But first may I ask what's in your hand there?" She glanced down, and even though he couldn't tell he just knew she was blushing.
"...alright, new plan." She said decisively. "I'll come upstairs and put my book away, and then we'll go on a bloody walk."
He pressed the 'unlock' button without saying anything, chuckling to himself. Not a minute later when he opened his apartment door to her swift knock, she breezed past him with a quick kiss to his cheek in greeting that left him holding the door open, blushing and blinking like an infatuated teenager as she bustled about his apartment, chattering away.
"Your flat is quite nice, Spencer. It could use some more personal touches to be sure, but it's rather more homey than I expected given how much traveling your job entails. I almost expected to find just a mattress and a suitcase! But look at you, with furniture and lamps and bookcases and everything! I'm absolutely charmed." She laughed, dropping her book on the coffee table Spencer used more for book accessibility from the couch rather than feng shui.
Halfway through her little speech he had gathered his wits only to be again struck dumb by how pretty she looked, fresh-faced with a glowing smile, clad in a rose-hued sundress with her hair cascading loose and wild around her shoulders; not to mention the simple yet astonishing fact that she was standing in his apartment.
Next thing he knew, she had gathered his wallet and keys and cellphone off the shelf where he kept them and was casually tucking them into his pockets, saying, "Oh, good, you're already wearing your shoes. It's warm enough that you probably don't need a jacket - have I mentioned that you look rather dashing in this sweater vest? Because you do," She interrupted herself, shooting him a cheeky wink before frowning. "Hmm. Maybe I do want you to wear a jacket, to keep away all the other women with a weakness for a bloke in a sweater vest." She quickly appraised him, then tsked and smiled, "Oh blast it all, it probably wouldn't help a bit. You are just too handsome, Dr. Reid." She sighed, but her eyes were sparkling.
Spencer randomly wondered if she knew Garcia, because this whirlwind rambling of hers knocking him off-balance was somewhat reminiscent of the vivacious technical analyst.
"Well," She said brightly, slipping her arm through his, "Are you ready?"
There was really only one possible answer. Spencer smiled down at her, lightly touching the hand wrapped around his bicep, and said, "Yes."
The breathless rush she had swept into his day with (that she later admitted with a blush was borne out of nervousness; he was glad he wasn't alone in that but decided it was good at least one of them had the courage and confidence to keep the awkwardness at bay as they figured out whatever it was between them) had settled into the euphoric ease he was beginning to get used to feeling with her as they ambled along in the sunlight to their favorite park.
The requisite chatting about their respective days had dwindled quite soon given that it was still morning and everything the both of them had done was in preparation for spending the day together. Now they walked in companionable silence, and once Spencer got done marveling over the fact that their entwined arms had led to the more comfortable and thrilling position of holding hands, he debated over asking her the question that had risen in his mind.
That mental voice that sounded way too much like Morgan scoffed at him, just ask her already, kid. It's not like you're proposing marriage.
Spencer immediately shoved that thought and voice into a box. Then he locked the box, wrapped it in chains, set it on fire, and buried the ashes. He had only been on one date with Hermione, he had no business thinking about her and ...that word… in the same thought! And he absolutely refused to examine or even acknowledge the strange and profound yearning that thought had uncovered in him.
(...at least, not yet.)
Mental Morgan was right, though, he might as well ask her what was on his mind.
"So, um, I know it hasn't even been an hour since we met up, and I'm really sorry if I'm being too forward or making assumptions or whatever, but I was, uh, wondering, um, if you, well…"
Her laughter mercifully put an end to his graceless stammers. "It's nice to know I'm not the only one who prattles on when I'm nervous." She gently teased him. "Go on, then, spit it out."
He grinned sheepishly. "Well, I've got the next two days off before I have to go back to work. And I was wondering if you would spend them with me?"
He had to wait less than a second for her response. She beamed at him. "Oh, how sweet! Spencer, I would love to! And I am simply honored to be considered worthy companionship for your work holiday." She said earnestly.
"Worthy companionship?" He repeated incredulously. "Hermione, you are the only companionship I could ever want or need for my whole life, let alone two days."
She stopped walking and stared at him, speechless.
Spencer had barely started to panic about what he had just said when she suddenly rose up on her tiptoes and kissed him.
It lasted only a moment, only a heartbeat. Spencer had just enough time for his senses to be overwhelmed by her - the sight of her sun-soaked chocolate curls and rosy cheeks, her fragrance of ink and paper mixed with something fresh and floral and yet warm and mellow, the feel of her small warm hands gripping his arms, a gust of peppermint and chocolate and cinnamon on her breath, then the taste of her chapstick on his own mouth - before it was over and she had stepped away, eyes wide and face rapidly turning red.
Spencer blinked, quickly and wildly glancing at the world around him and wondering how it was possible for it to look exactly the same when obviously everything had changed.
She kissed him.
She kissed him!
She kissed him!
The shock at her own actions had faded from her still-blushing face and now she was regarding him a bit apprehensively as she waited for his reaction, vulnerability and defiance blazing in her eyes.
This time, the voice in his head didn't sound like Morgan at all, it was entirely him, standing and shouting and waving his arms around manically. SAY SOMETHING YOU IDIOT!
But all he could do was stare at her, at this impossible beautiful creature that liked him and had gone on a date with him and had kissed him… so engulfed was he by his own emotions that he spoke not a single word.
But now he had waited too long, and she would wait no longer. The red darkened past surprise to embarrassment and shame, and her bright eyes dimmed in disappointment. "I'm sorry." The words came out measured and careful, but still had to be forced past her gritted teeth. "I was too forward. I shouldn't have -"
It was the shouldn't that did it. The fact that she was regretting her actions immediately cleared the haze Spencer was in, and he told himself, I'm not going to say something, I'm going to do something.
And so the genius did perhaps one of the smartest things he'd ever done.
With the same uncharacteristic agility that had saved her from those falling books back when they first met, Spencer reached out and swiftly pulled her to him and kissed her just as sweetly and intensely and briefly as she had kissed him.
Before he could again be overwhelmed by her, Spencer moved away but kept hold of her hands; there was a wrong to be righted. He looked directly into her surprised but slowly shining eyes, the beginnings of a hopeful smile suspended on her lips. Still, he waited, and after a minute of quiet threaded with anticipation, he grinned. "How is that we both talk too much when we're nervous, but you're the one that always leaves me speechless?" He shrugged a little. "Now we're even."
She let out a breath of laughter, and he joined her before growing serious. "Hermione, you should never have to regret or apologize for putting yourself out there, especially if you were brave enough to do it before I could. It's just, you constantly amaze me." He grinned again. "I should know better by now. You're never going to be less amazing, and even though I know I'll never get used to how incredible you are, you should never have to wonder how I feel to the point where you want to apologize." He frowned a little, hating himself for that. But her hands were still so warm and strong in his, and her brown eyes were meeting his without looking away, so he continued with a small smirk, "Be patient with me, though. I know there will still be things about you that leave me speechless. Really, it's pretty amazing I'm able to get coherent sentences out while just being around you." He said, playfully but honestly.
Hermione smiled fully now. "Oh, Spencer, you…" She shook her head and with a steadying breath started over. "I have some very good friends whom I love and who love me. We have been through everything together, and through it all I knew they loved and wanted and needed me. I knew it… but they never said it." She looked up at him, first shyly, then with all the courage and honesty he knew she possessed. The fierce look on her face belied her gentle words.
"Spencer, you were the first person to say it. And you're just such a brilliant man and well, in case you haven't noticed I fancy you quite a lot…" She huffed, blushing again. "I've always been the sensible sort of girl, but you make me brave in ways I never thought I would be or would have to be or would want to be." Her fierceness deepened and went around the bend to something soft and vulnerable. "But I don't want to be sensible with you. I want to be brave for you; I want to be brave with you." She finished with a helpless little shrug and simple words that were not so simple after all. "I want to be with you."
Everything inside him was exploding apart and settling into place all at the same time, like fireworks bursting against a quiet night sky. But Spencer would not wait for it to be over before he spoke, because he knew and hoped this feeling would never be over, and he wanted to see what it was like to speak now. What would his words look and feel like with the colors and sparks in his heart?
He smiled. "I want to be with you too. Seems sensible to me."
This time, as he leaned down to kiss her, he took his time, so he could watch light leap into her eyes and hear her breath catch. So he could count the freckles on her nose and see each individual eyelash. So he could feel the tickle of her hair as he brushed it away to cradle her face in his hands before weaving his fingers into the thick curling tresses. So he could savor the simple feel of leaning his forehead against hers, of moving his hands from her hair to press against her back and draw her close and to touch and tilt her chin to meet his even as she turned it herself.
This time, when he kissed her, he was not overwhelmed. It was a slow and steady dive underwater after a deep breath of air. It was the feeling of flying and knowing he would not fall with ground underneath their feet. But even so, just for a second everything he lost himself and then that second was over and he found himself again in her and she was Hermione, it was her hands soft yet calloused in his hair and wrapped around his neck. It was her uncontrollable hair that was still slightly damp at the roots from washing falling around the two of them, brushing skin and clothes and ticking his face and hands. And it was her lips that yes, tasted like chapstick and the peppermints he knew they had at the library desk, and it was taste of chocolate and cinnamon because she had coffee today instead of tea… and it was while kissing her that for the first time Spencer did not think her some impossible creature, though she was beautiful.
She was real and she was here and she was Hermione, and that was far better than any fantasy. For the kiss was not perfect and neither were they, it was a little bit clumsy and a little bit awkward but more importantly it was honest and brave and it was wholly them; wholly theirs.
And this time, when the kiss ended and after they had lived in that moment of mingled breath and entwined hands and bright eyes so close that was all they could see, they moved forward and continued on their walk in the park, in silence but no longer speechless.
"That night when you kissed me, I left a poem in your mouth, and you can hear some of the lines every time you breathe out." -Andrea Gibson
Author's note: Well, this chapter was supposed to be something completely different but these two crazy kids ran away with my plot (I use the term loosely, clearly this story is mostly cavity-inducing fluff with a dash of angst for flavor) and it felt natural and right so I let them. And now we have The First Kiss (TM)! Yay for hard-to-write romantic milestones! But I put on my sappy music playlist, chugged some caffeine, and handled it. So let me know what you think!
And, thank you guys for being so patient with me. I know this update was FAR too long in coming, and the continued support from old and new readers is humbling and inspiring.
On the upside, this runaway chapter means I have the next one mostly planned out and am planning on posting it as soon as possible.
Also, remember to check out my other story, "Aftershocks"! Tell your friends!