It all started in a fire.
So it is no wonder that the end resembled a flame snuffed aborning, its last flickers for but an eyeblink lightening what was to become a dreadful darkness.
And as I sit here, once again drinking my tea - this seclusion of mine no longer peaceful but rather forlorn - I cannot help but once more recollect those days that now seem no different than the dreams filling my lonely nights.
When I came back to my heavenly household with the beautiful girl in my arms, it was almost twilight; the greyness beginning to envelop human realm as well as this place of mine. It was only then when I really noticed the battered state she was in.
Long ceremonial dress - once white as snow, now stained with many traces of grass and mud - hung in shrouds around her legs. I wish I could miss those scratches, reddening on her porcelain limbs, or the bruise adorning her left cheek, or at least the burns caused by the rope tightened around her slim wrists. But they were there: undeniable proofs of what she had to go through.
Once again I could feel the anger towards those who were the reason of her sufferings rising in my bowels. The girl's restless stirring in her sleep brought me back from the reveries revolving around my exerting justice on her tormentors. Time may come for revenge but right now other matters should take priority. For one, I could - and felt obliged to - take care of the maiden's injuries.
Holding her closely to myself, like a child lost in a fog that needs protection, I stepped further into my house, making my way to the bathroom.
You may wonder - why take her to the bath when I could as easily heal her wounds and restore her cleanliness there and then given my godly powers and all. Let me ask this: do you reach for a plough to plant a geranium in a pot on your window? Or do you kill a calf when you feel like taking a light snack? There is a time and place for everything: sometimes the circumstances call for a great power to be put into use and sometimes things should be done in a usual way, without overusing one's abilities.
Waiting for hot water to fill the bathtub, I mused over another reason behind my decision. Living in a seclusion, deprived of another's company, can you really blame me for taking a chance to enjoy such a beauty when presented to me? Not that I had anything indecent in mind, mind you. Simple appreciation of her features, so close to perfection, would be enough. At least for the moment.
Soon the tub was full to the brim and the rising steam filled the bathroom with sweet aroma of jasminum bath salt. I took my time disrobing the maiden, slowly untying knots holding her dress and slipping it down her slim shoulders. Oh, the wonders I discovered that evening, the treasures revealed to my eyes! Those pert breasts, pale and round like twin moons; not particularly ample but I was sure they would fit perfectly in my hands. Those toned muscles of her abdomen, speaking volumes of her physical prowess, yet not taking even an ounce from her femininity. And finally - the source of all sweetness, the flower the nectar from which none have tasted... Alas! hidden from my eyes by a meagre piece of lace. Something stirred deep inside of me, some need I had almost forgotten. The need that kept whispering to my ear, urging me to take the lacy underwear off as well, to bare the girl completely so that my eyes can truly feast on preciousness before them. But then I asked myself: if those savage villagers decided to save this last bit of her modesty, who am I to act otherwise? Would I not prove myself even less civilised than them, rendering her naked solely for my pleasure?
Slowly, I lowered the still unconscious maiden into the tub, keeping her carefully propped so that she would not accidentally slip under the surface. I scooped some water and began pouring it over her head while chanting words of a blessing.
"Through this water you were born. Through this water you were cleansed. Through this water your thirst is quenched. May this water heal your wounds. May this water restore your health. May this water wash off your fatigue."
My hand followed the droplets falling down her body, my fingers gently trailing down her neck to her shoulders and further - to the valley between her breasts. Light blush adorned the girl's cheeks and I smiled to myself, finally resting my hand on the flat of her stomach. This lovely sight caused the stirring inside me to re-emerge and this need urged me to dip my hand even lower, to probe deeper, to explore this uncharted territory. Something deep inside me wanted to taste those fragile lips, slightly parted as if in an invitation; to kiss those emerald orbs, now hidden behind the lowered eyelids, to blow puffs of air into those elfin ears and watch her reaction...
I finished the girl's ablutions in a great haste.
Warm night, full of peace and calm. Soft cries of cicadas mixed with quiet rustle of gingko trees. The sky of deep navy blue, dotted with myriads and myriads of stars, twinkling in intricate patterns. Gentle breeze, sweeping through the land, whispering bedtime stories to all those who could not find a rest even at this hour.
It was in this night that I sat, on the inner veranda of my household, holding the sleeping girl in my arms; holding her so close to my heart as if I wanted us to become one, as if to prevent anyone from stealing her from me. This lovely child, given to me by those unable to appreciate her real worth... How peaceful would she sleep in my arms, nuzzling into me from time to time and snuffling... Her closeness filled me with such a warmth, with such a tenderness that any previous stirrings calmed down and decided to stay at bay. At least for the moment.
Looking into the sleeping face, I was almost caught unaware when the twin eyelids slowly rose, revealing green irises, their hue deepened by the remnants of sleep. She blinked once, and again, and finally mumbled:
"Hi..."
"Hello," I smiled softly at the sight. "How are you feeling, lovely one?"
"Warm..." Her voice, a bit husky, has gained even more depth from its sleepiness.
The girl blinked a few more times, yawned mightily and finally stretched her slender arms above her head. Only then did she notice her half-dishabille, the towel wrapped around her body slipping dangerously low. "Yikes!"
She jumped away, nervously grabbing the towel to prevent it from falling completely. I tried to stifle the amusement from her frantic actions but I couldn't stop a chuckle. The sound turned her attention away from the cloth to lavish it upon me.
"O-Oi! Who're you?" She pointed a finger at me and this sudden movement caused the towel to slip a bit lower, exposing her cleavage. The forbidden valley immediately caught my eyes; she noticed this and followed my sight. "Pervert!"
With this, she turned on her heel, arms crossed over her chests, mumbling something indignantly.
I took pity on her, materializing simple shirt and pants, and handing them to her. She eyed my gift begrudgingly but eventually accepted it and put the clothes on.
The silence between us was heavy, each passing second punctuated with her glower. As I was going to somehow break it, she cleared her throat and repeated her question.
"Ara, does my charming guest not remember what had happened?" Lack of understanding in her eyes caused me to prompt further. "This afternoon... on the hill... at the old, forgotten..."
"...altar."
The recollection of those dreadful events dawned in her eyes. Barely moments later those deep emerald irises snapped back to me.
"Ok, I remember those idiots from my village and their blabbering something 'bout a goddess and a sacrifice. I remember the pyre and the rain. But most certainly I don't remember you. So?"
I smiled playfully under her glare.
"Ara, it seems that these days one ought to introduce oneself before rescuing a damsel in distress... Shame on me then for neglecting this requirement earlier. I deeply hope such a kind girl as yourself will find it in her heart to forgive this little slip of mine." I bowed my head to her. "If I shall be allowed..." Wrapping myself in a lilac kimono, I continued the introduction. "Some call me Viola and for one I am..."
"A goddess? Y-you're kidding, right?" My silence caused her poise to shatter. The girl took a step back, eyes wide and arms raised in front of her, refusing to accept my words. When their inevitability finally sunk into her mind, she quickly covered her eyes and fell to her knees, bowing so low that her forehead almost touched the floor. "Forgive me, Viola-kamisama... Don't make me blind and lame."
"Why should I ever..." For The One's sake! Those self-appointed prophets of mine and their stories of what I would and would not do to my followers, even for something as simple as looking at me askew. "Fear nor, lovely one" I reassured the girl still cowering at my feet. "Give me your name and you shall be forgiven any misdeeds, past and future."
"N-Natsuki."
"Natsuki..." I repeated the name, finding delight in the way it rolled off my tongue. "Come, do not bow before me."
I helped her to her feet and noticing the doubtfulness on her face, I asked for its reason.
"If you're a goddess, couldn't you - I don't know - read my mind to know my name? Or something like that?"
"I am most deeply sorry for letting Natsuki down but it occurred to me that she would not appreciate such an intrusion on her privacy. How would she feel if I took not only her name but also some of the most precious memories?"
"Ugh... thanks then, I guess."
Light smile tugged at the corners of my mouth when I asked:
"And what would be Natsuki thanking me for?"
The dark head bowed down, its owner suddenly taking vivid interest in her own bare feet and restlessly wiggling toes.
"Thanks for... saving my life, I guess."
"Natsuki is most welcome."
The radiant smile she sent my way at that moment was overwhelming and I knew that I would do anything to keep it near me for as long as possible.
In a meanwhile, my guest started fidgeting and scanning her surroundings surreptitiously. Noticing this, I inquired innocently:
"Is something wrong, my dear?"
"No, Viola-kamisama... I just..." Natsuki finally focused her eyes on me and I was granted a glimpse of this exquisite green. "Think I should get going... Don't want to impose on you."
"I would never go as far as calling Natsuki's company imposing."
"Still, I have to find someplace to sleep. It's getting late and obviously I can't go back to the village."
"Ara, I think that my lovely guest has forgotten about something quite important." At the confusion in her eyes, I hinted: "Natsuki has just thanked me for saving her life. Surely, she does not deem it undeserving of a reward, right?"
Her face lit up instantly.
"R-right! That's what I meant! I need to go... somewhere... somewhere else so I can get you a reward fit for a goddess! I have nothing with me so I have to go and get it - that's exactly what I meant!"
She turned on her heel and stomped forward, eager to leave my presence. She did not went far, however, when my calm voice stopped her in her tracks.
"In my humble opinion, Natsuki do not need to go anywhere for my reward as I see something more than perfect right in front of my eyes."
Upon hearing my words, Natsuki frozen in place.
"W-what do you mean?"
Before answering, I walked round the girl, wanting to witness her reaction to my next words.
"I would feel most honored if Natsuki rewarded me with the same thing the villagers wanted to give me. You yourself would be the best reward possible." She must have had at least a faint idea of where I was going - I saw the first sparks of understanding in her eyes. Not allowing her to cut in, I finished: "Of course, this would mean making Natsuki completely mine."
Oh, Heavens! This utterly shocked expression on her face - priceless.
Natsuki must have hoped that she misheard something, as she inquired, stuttering every second word:
"M-make yours? As i-in have s-s-se... s-s..." This last word was too much for her so I took pity and interrupted her mumbling.
"Just like that, my lovely one. I want to touch and kiss, to explore every inch of your body, to map all its curves and crevices..."
"Stop! I... don't want to do this... I..." She gathered all courage to look me in the eyes, at least for a moment. "I'd bring you anything you want... anything, just don't ask me for this."
"Ara, but there is nothing else I want... Only to have my Na-tsu-ki."
"N-no... no..." My lovely girl attempted one last protest, but those silent pleas were directed towards her own feet.
I swept lustrous black hair away from her eyes and cradled her face in my hands.
"Why is Natsuki so afraid of letting me make love to her? Can it be so because it would be her first time? I promise to be gentle, I would never dare to mar such a precious jewel as yourself." I slowly dipped my head and seized those pink lips, tasting their sweet nectar - even sweeter by the grace of me being the first to drink it from this soft cup. For a moment I thought that Natsuki would give in, surrender herself to me. For one delightful moment the bliss I partook in fooled me into thinking that it would last. My hands found their way down, resting on those petite breasts, caressing them with feather-light touches...
Yet the never-ending pleasure is granted neither to humans, nor to gods and soon enough Natsuki forcefully pushed me away. I stumbled backwards and still in a little bit of a daze, I Iicked my lips, trying to keep this flavour for as long as possible.
"Ara, what was that for?" I wondered aloud, taking in the pink tint on the girl's cheeks and her raised like a shield hands.
"I didn't consent to that! I don't want this... not like this..." Shaking her head, Natsuki took a step back, hugging herself tightly. Her eyes were full of anxiety bordering with fear, their light almost completely dimmed. I should have respected this, stop there and then, turn my advances into an immature joke. But the stirring in my bowels compelled me to push further.
"Have Natsuki already forgotten about her fellow Fuukans' declaration?" I put hands on her shoulders, sliding the shirt off them, feeling her cold skin, and bringing her closer to me. "You are my sacrifice, you have been given to me, lovely one. Therefore, I feel entitled to call Natsuki my property." I closed her in my arms. "And I deem it redundant to ask for permission before using what I consider mine."
She tensed in my hold, her lean muscles on the verge of snapping.
"Then you may as well put me back on that altar for the Fuukans to kill. That's what they planned to do, right? Or save them the trouble and kill me yourself, Viola-kamisama."
"And why, pray tell, should I do that? Dead Natsuki would give me no pleasure..." I held her tighter and she started to struggle against me. "Nor would she be able to enjoy my ministrations." I blew gently into her ear, causing shivers travel down her spine.
Natsuki's struggle picked up on intensity, her arms flailing wildly and trying to push me away, her legs trying to land a kick. All of it - to no avail. My grasp on her slim body was like that of an iron shackle - unbucking, unmoving.
Soon enough I decided I was fed up with this useless fight. Sending another puff of air into Natsuki's ear, I rendered her limbs paralysed. The maiden hang limply in my arms, her weight resting fully against me.
"Ara, it seems to me that Natsuki is so tired that she can't even stand on her own."
"No... don't do this... Viola-kamisama...please, no..."
Her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper.
"And she doesn't have the strength to speak. It is definitely time to go to bed."
I scooped her in my arms like a bride and proceeded to the bedroom. Natsuki nuzzled into me, hiding her face in my shoulder, never ceasing her quiet pleas and begging. Her actions amazed me: should she not rather try to get away from me, to escape her saviour-turned-tormentor?
Once we reached my bedroom, I gently placed my sweet load on the rolled-out futon. Her wide open green eyes, moments before full of fear, now got panicky, darting from one place to another. The girl resembled a caged animal, looking for the slightest chance to break free. Her breath, quickened and shallow, rose her chest in irregular intervals. Pleas and begging were on the verge of turning into miserable whimpers. A single tear escaped a corner of her eye and slowly slid down...
I kneeled by the girl and bowed, bringing our faces together. Swiping raven hair away from her eyes, I whispered:
"I want Natsuki to remember one thing." Her restless eyes focused on me. "Whatever my desires might be, I would never - remember, never - hurt you."
For the briefest of moments, I kissed her trembling lips and pulled back.
"I am going to release your limbs now, alright?" Having got an uncertain nod in confirmation, I slid my hands along her arms and legs, lifting the paralysis. Natsuki moved them slightly, as if just to confirm that my words were true. I smiled at the confusion painted on her face. "You should rest for now, we can talk this through tomorrow morning."
I bent to place a goodnight kiss on her sweaty forehead and made my way out, feeling a suspicious glare on my back until I slid the shouji screen shut.
Unlike humans, gods do not need to eat, nor to sleep. Still, as the cycle of night and day repeats itself even in heavens, we do sometimes indulge in those earthly pleasures. Those little rituals, while doing nothing for our sustenance, are a great help in passing time; afternoon tea, midnight nap, little feast every fortnight - each of them has its own time and place and thus gives rhythm to our timeless existence.
Not to mention that they are a reminder of times before we became gods.
Having left Natsuki in my own bedroom, I went back to the veranda where I focused on the paths in the sand and succumbed to a light meditation.
I let my thoughts free and so they wandered, back and forth, between the girl - her innocent sleeping face and fragile beauty - and the need which once awoken by her charms never left my very being. Sifting through numerous possible outcomes of the day's events, trying to foretell the course of my next conversation with Natsuki - I deeply hoped to arrive at the best possible decision.
Though I could not tell if by "best" I meant an outcome beneficial to both or only to one of us...
First rays of the dawning sun washed over my face, pulling me out of meditation. Still without a definite answer to my doubts, I decided it was time to face Natsuki.
Throughout the night I was more or less aware of her actions; for she did not succumb to sleep after I had left the room. Rather, she waited till gaining certainty I won't be coming back and then carefully set upon exploration of my household, probably in order to find a way out. Apparently, it did not occur to her that the way from heavens to the human realm is a tad more complicated than just through the door.
When I found her, Natsuki tried to climb the golden gate, richly ornamented symbolic entrance to my domain.
"I wouldn't do that."
She halted her climb but did not go down.
"If I were you, I would not try to escape over this gate" I repeated in a calm voice.
"And why is that?" She jumped down and eyed me curiously. "You're not trying something just to have your way with me, do you?"
"The woods you see behind the gate," I decided to pretend that I did not notice her second question. "Are but a mere illusion. It is as if a curtain was thrown over the void surrounding my piece of heaven. You won't find a freedom there, only death."
"So what am I to do? Stay here and wait for you to rape me?"
This accusation stung like a whip - I would never go so far as to force anyone into a sexual act. Never.
Still, I did not let it show, all the time keeping perfect façade of a calm and gentle smile.
"Since it is obvious that Natsuki cannot go back to Fuuka, I wanted to propose just that: for her to stay with me." The solution I spent whole night meditating on just came to me, so before the girl could interrupt, I added: "As my companion."
"C-companion?" She sent me a suspicious glare. "As in someone to keep you company, talk with you and stuff?"
"'Tis exactly what I hope for."
"No s-se... no touching included?"
"Ara, if Natsuki wants to touch then who am I to deny her?"
She huffed mightily at my mischievous smile and indicated as if she were going to leave.
"Can't you be serious?"
"Yes, that is the kind of company I had in mind" I said quietly, almost in a whisper, to hide this slight quiver in my voice.
"And if I don't want to stay?"
This question, asked in seemingly carefree manner, unleashed another stirring in me. The one that made me hold tightly to my façade, to this mask of politeness. In times like this there was only one way for me: to tease.
"I can try to bribe Natsuki... Or persuade her to stay... maybe by kissing her senseless, until she'd beg for more?" I wondered aloud, hoping she would take the bait.
And so she did, though not in the way I had hoped for.
"You know what? I'm going to take my chances with the void" stated Natsuki, once more climbing the gate.
"Wait" I begged in a quiet voice. "I'll... I will tell you."
Natsuki joined me on the ground but despite my earlier declaration, I could not force myself to answer her question and thus seal our future.
"So? If I said I won't stay, what would you do?" insisted the girl, trying to look me into eyes.
I avoided her scrutiny and moved past her, closer to the gate. Resting my hand on the cold metal bars I wondered what my answer to this question should be and what outcome it would bring. Eventually, having made sure that she does not see my face and will not be able to notice any stray emotion slipping from under my mask, I started in a low voice:
"In such a case, Natsuki would leave me only one choice..." I heard her breath hitch, her anxiety almost palpable. If she only knew the true depth of my dreams and desires, she would lose breath for more than just this moment. She would squirm and tremble, fighting to break free and flee where I could not reach her. But there she was, coming closer, trying to decipher my emotions, to guess what I was about to say about her future. Then let it be, I thought, let me say what must be said. And so I finished: "Bound by your word, I shall open the gate and let you go."
"What? You can't do that! You can't... keep... me..."
Natsuki's yelling gradually turned into a whisper and eventually died completely. She must have already presumed my response and when my quiet words actually sunk into her mind, she became uneasy and started fidgeting.
"Like... for real? You'd let me go?"
I said nothing to that, gazing into the void that existed outside of my domain, under the mirage of thick woods. I might have desired her, I might have wanted her to stay and keep me company more than anything else - but I would never imprison her. This had already happened once in the past and I promised myself then that such a thing would never repeat itself. Before I could go back to the memories of that time though, a quiet voice, barely above a whisper, reached my ears.
"I guess I could stay then." A soft rumbling sounded in the background of her admission. "At least for a breakfast..."
I couldn't help but chuckle over such a confession. No sooner had the sound escaped my lips than Natsuki turned away and send me a glare, probably trying to kill me with it or at least force into the silence. Soon, my chuckling turned into a giggle... Oh, heavens, when had I had such an amusing companion for the last time?
"Oi, don't laugh at me! You do have some real food, right? Not this heavenly, godly, celestial whatever-it-is that you gods eat?"
Suppressing the laughter, though the mirth probably still resided in my eyes, I responded with as much solemnity as I could muster under such circumstances:
"Of course, I will prepare whatever Natsuki wishes to consume."
Her eyes lit as those of a child who is promised a perfect gift and she started walking back to the house. I followed her when she suddenly stopped in the middle of a yard.
"Ne..." started Natsuki, a touch of uncertainty present in her tone. "What should I call you?" Noticing my questioning look, she quickly added: "Because Viola-kamisama is kinda... longish..."
My lips once again forming into a smile, I stated contentedly:
"Shizuru. You may call me Shizuru."
And so she stayed.
For the breakfast. And then just a bit longer for some small talk. Then for the sunset because I have told her that nowhere will she find such a perfect spot to watch it as in my domain. Then it was too late to wander anywhere and so she stayed the night. And another day.
And somehow the cold, golden gate fell into oblivion.
And it's Author's Ramblings time :D
First things first: great kudos for my new Beta! You know, the girl actually understands how punctuation and articles work ^^" She's amazing, ne?
Whew, I can't believe it's been two months since the last chapter. Time flies by so quickly these days... :D I think I'll stick to this once-a-two-months schedule - I know, I'm no ShayP nor ethnewinter to be waited for half a year or so, but I hope you'll stick with me anyway :)
So, I know there's this little tradition to put something up for Natsuki's birthday. The third chapter is already in progress but it won't be finished that soon. All I can offer you would be a fragment of it (sth around 1k words or so), an introduction to a bigger scene - do you want me to publish it then or would you rather wait till somewhere in September for a complete chapter? :)
Enough with ramblings, now it's time for you to express your disappointment in your reviews :D
Have a nice day, people :)