Hi, people! It seems that this 'a thousand words fragment' I mentioned last time grew a bit and became a complete chapter ^.^ This is un-beta'ed, because I wanted to publish it for Natsuki's birthday.
Enjoy! :D
"No, I won't!"
The fierceness, the fire burning in her deep green eyes.
"Yes, you will."
The calmness and equanimity as my only response.
"No, I won't. And you can't make me, remember?"
Cheeky brat, always reminding me of the promise from the beginnings.
"Yet, I can always try to persuade you. Will your answer change if I offer you a big bowl of sticky sticks?" Her expression teetering somewhere between disbelief, indignation and barely hidden amusement, I quickly added: "After all, I do not ask for anything more than a little cuddling."
Natsuki harrumphed and looked away. Seeing this, I inched a bit closer, like a huntress closing upon her prey.
"Why the long face? If Natsuki expresses such a wish, I will consider adding an extra portion of mayo to the deal, so she will know my generosity." Rosy hue slowly crept up her porcelain cheeks; I decided to strike while it's hot. Tilting my head slightly and thoughtfully putting a finger to my chin, I followed, "I may even go as far as to serve this delicacy on my own naked body. What would you say to this, Na-tsu-ki?"
A hitched breath and then...
"Sh-Shi..."
The bomb was ticking. Three... two... one...
A few weeks have passed since Natsuki agreed to stay with me.
Unfortunately, our companionship was nowhere near what I had imagined it to be, for after the first day Natsuki started to avoid me, constantly depriving me of her presence. Bar the mealtimes and those few occasions when we accidentally bumped into each other in the hallways of my household, we shared little to no words. Every time I wanted to sit down and talk about sweet nothings, the girl excused herself under the most trifling of reasons.
I resolved to my forte: teasing; remarks seemingly innocent, yet not without hidden agenda. Alas! even this weapon, which I have mastered for so many ages, failed miserably. Whenever I tried to engage her in a simple conversation, spicing it a tad with some frivolous remark, Natsuki sent me an exasperated look and - more often than not - fled the room. Soon enough I found out that those flights were meant to hide a blush spreading on her face, a lovely tint in all shades of red adorning her pale features. The discovery that this embarrassing carnation was not the only cause of the situation took me a bit longer.
It was well into the third week of our living together when I noticed one more thing accompanying Natsuki's flights. Tired of our endless cat-and-mouse game, I caught the slim wrist, thus hindering her escape. The girl turned around and whipped her head up.
"Let go of me!"
"A-ara..."
Perplexed by the emotions in the deep emerald eyes, I released her arm and watched as she disappeared behind a shoji screen.
What I saw in those stunning orbs - was that anxiety? Apprehension, bordering with fear? Could she have really been that afraid of me?
The pleading look I caught in her eyes at that moment kept haunting me for the next few days. Eventually, I realized that it wasn't me that she was afraid of, but rather what I could do to her, what I mentioned so lightly and freely in my teasings. To confirm my suspicions I tried to tone those remarks down, if not to forsake them completely for a week or so.
It turned out that I was right: Natsuki, in her childlike innocence, took my playful threats and proposals seriously and seeing no way to defend herself from my unwanted advances, she resolved to avoiding them altogether. If I wanted for our companionship to continue, I needed to earn her trust.
Pondering this problem, I wandered into the kitchen - there is nothing like a cup of hot tea to facilitate and improve one's thinking. I never reached the stove, though, as a sight encountered in the kitchen stopped me in my tracks.
There, at the dark wooden table-top, Natsuki stood, wielding a santoku knife and chopping something with a content air to her figure. I observed her for a while in silence: a happy child, entirely engrossed in her activity, oblivious to her surroundings. Carefree smile, illuminating her features, was so unlike the usual scowl that the sight enraptured me completely and I could have adored it forever, if not for the sudden stop of the unrhythmical staccato of the knife and board. Natsuki noticed my intrusion and froze, unsure of whether or not she should flee. To ease the uncomfortable silence that engulfed us, I asked quietly:
"Would Natsuki mind if I kept her company, sitting here and watching silently?"
She eyed me suspiciously, as if waiting for a tease but since none came, she nodded and went back to cutting. The tea long forgotten, I sat by the table and for the first time took notice of what she was preparing: never before had I seen her working in the kitchen. True, she knew how to find certain things in my pantry, but she usually used this knowledge to get some snacks, not the actual cooking ingredients. Now, a medium-sized bamboo bowl was half filled with unevenly cut pieces of assorted vegetables.
Apparently noticing my curiosity, Natsuki stated, her eyes never leaving the sharp blade:
"I'm making sticky sticks." I could not help wondering what was 'sticky' about fresh carrot or cucumber, but before I asked, Natsuki explained, "They're just sticks now, the sticky part will come later."
"Ookini, Natsuki."
She peeked from under dark bangs, and soon a bright smile followed this peek. Basking in it, I smiled back and the silence became more bearable, comfortable even.
"Ne, Shizuru," her eyes focused intently on a particularly hard piece of parsnip, careful not to cut the slim fingers, "How come you don't have a flower wreath hung in a window? It's Day of Flight today, right?"
Day of flight? The name did sound familiar yet I could not recall where and when have I heard it for the last time. It couldn't have been that long ago; still, the memory had some ancientsome ring to it. The answer kept slipping from my grasp when Natsuki picked up my confusion.
"It's today, right? Day of Flight, the holiday to celebrate how one girl was saved from starvation by goddess Viola..." here the husky voice cracked, as Natsuki realized what she has been saying. Blush crept to her cheeks and she hung her head in embarrassment.
Natsuki's words rang a bell, though. I recalled times - half a millenium ago, give or take a few decades - when a group of people used to celebrate around this part of a year. They would decorate their houses with floral wreaths, which were later laid upon my altar, and spend some quality time with their loved ones. Yet, those days were long gone by and now the tradition was forgotten, though not completely, if I were to believe Natsuki's words.
I looked at my girl, her face still hidden behind the veil of raven hair, her hands fiddling restlessly with the knife. Could I use this opportunity to earn her trust or at least make her open to me a bit? Just this tiny little bit that would allow her to feel comfortable in my presence and not fear it?
"Could you tell me something more about this celebration, Natsuki? About its origins as well, perhaps? I'm afraid that my memory got a little rusty from the years of solitude." Green orbs peeked from under their veil, suspicious but not without a hint of curiosity. "In return, I would help you with cutting those sticks of yours."
The intent gaze moved back to the cutting board and then once again to me, studying my expression; eventually, Natsuki passed her utensils to me and disappeared into the pantry. I waited with unease, but she emerged after a few minutes with a bowl of eggs, a flask of finest oil and another one - she took the plug off and I caught a faint whiff of rice vinegar.
"The sticky part," explained Natsuki casually, while cracking the egg, separating its yolk and beating it with a whisker. I observed, not without a surprise, that her movements became smoother as if much more practiced.
With the oil slowly trickling to the bowl and her left hand whisking the mixture in a steady manner, Natsuki started her story. Slowly at first, and quietly, but soon her voice gained more depth and a story-telling quality.
"There once was a girl known as Reki. Nobody knew if it was her name or if she was just called this way for her behaviour. And for this or that reason she was forced to leave her village."
I let myself be entranced by the skilful movements of Natsuki's hands and by the rough cadence of her voice.
"For a few days Reki wandered in the forest south of the Guri Mountain, eating nothing but wild berries and drinking spring water. Finally, hungry, cold and weary, she sat by a great oak and prayed for either divine rescue or quick, merciful death. After that, she fell asleep and slept till the twilight chill woke her up. In the quickly falling darkness the girl noticed a light in a short distance..
Reki mustered all her strength to reach this light, which turned out to be a small cabin. She knocked the door once and twice, and thrice even but to no response. As the night was creeping closer with every minute, she excused herself and entered the cabin.
To her astonishment, there was no sign of a human being inside, save for the burning fire and a stew in a pot hung above it. Reki decided that it was not the time to question such a chance and warmed herself up and partook in the stew. Later, she stretched upon furs laid in front of the fireplace because she didn't dare to venture to the adjacent room in search of a proper bed.
The next morning, Reki awoke in the most comfortable bed in her life - the covers warm, and the pillow soft and fluffy. By her side a woman sat - a woman of eyes crimson as the rich wine. The girl started to apologise for trespassing but the woman just smiled gently and told her that she was free to stay in the cabin for as long as she'd like.
Reki stayed there for a few years while the woman kept visiting her every evening, keeping company but never sharing the food and never, even though the girl pleaded and begged for it, never revealing her name. Autumns turned into winters and winters gave place to springs, then summers took reign only to be overthrown by autumns. This cycle repeated itself over and over, till one day the mysterious woman came earlier than usually.
The spring was in its fullest and Reki was sitting in front of the cabin, weaving small flower wreaths when her benefactress appeared, clothed in a lilac kimono, a bottle of wine in her hand. She gracefully accepted the flower wreath to adorn her head and asked Reki to prepare a feast for this was to be their last evening together; the girl's persecutors were dead and she could safely return to her village.
Over the last glass of wine, the mysterious woman introduced herself to Reki as the goddess Viola and disappeared from her eyes. The girl returned safely to her old home and never saw the goddess again. After that, every year she prepared a feast for her dear ones and later placed a small flower wreath on Viola-kamisama's altar. At least that's the story Auntie Mai taught us when we were kids."
Somewhere through Natsuki's story we moved to the inner veranda, enjoying evening breeze and drinking green tea. The vegetable sticks and whitish sticky paste waited in the kitchen for dinner time.
"Ah, Reki... Yes, I remember now." I smiled to my companion, silently enjoying her closeness. "It was almost as in your story, albeit I would never thought it would be a reason for celebration so many years later."
Truth be told, Reki escaped her village not because of persecutions, but because she could not bring herself to trust anyone. I found her living in a lonely hut and offered the same deal I did to Natsuki: I would provide for her and in exchange she would keep me company. Reki agreed and though our relationship never crossed the boundary of simple friendship, I immensely enjoyed our evening talks. Finally, my companion decided she was ready to live with people, to take the risk of trusting them.
To see this turned into a legend and celebrated in a special manner... People will never cease to amaze me.
Soft grumble brought me back from memories. I glanced at the source of the sound who suddenly became very interested in the hem of her shirt, playing with it and pulling at loose threads.
"Ara, how reckless of me to forget that my lovely companion does need nourishment not only for her soul, but for her body as well. Come on then, let us partake in the evening repast."
I bowed to Natsuki, extending my hand toward her; she chuckled lightly with poorly hidden amusement but eventually accepted my invitation.
This evening I spread us a real feast; after all, it was Reki's Day of Flight. I even brought some wine from my cellar - the very same wine with which we celebrated her growing up to trust.
Even presented with this vast array of wonderful dishes, the plethora of various delicacies, the one that Natsuki reached for most often was no other than her 'sticky sticks'. I did not approve of her choice as the sticky paste was nothing but pure fat yet her face was lit with such pure delight, her eyes gleaming with childlike joy, that I could not bring myself to say a word against it.
"And, you know, I totally refused to eat my veggies, and Auntie Mai couldn't make me even though she tried bribes and punishments. I was a pretty stubborn child back then, I guess." The afternoon in the kitchen set Natsuki into a quite talkative mood and I was not the one to complain for that. "So, one day, she sat me at the kitchen table in front of this huge bowl of cut vegetables and called them 'sticky sticks'. And when I looked at her with disdain - come on, what's sticky about fresh veggies, which I still wouldn't eat, by the way - Auntie just smiled and told me to watch while she whisked some kind of paste. Then she asked me to dip a piece of carrot in it. And..." Here Natsuki dipped her own carrot stick in a whitish condiment. "And it was like a revelation - I didn't even notice when all veggies were gone. And that's how 'mayo', that's what the sticky paste is called, was born."
Had Auntie Mai known that after a few years her 'sticky sticks' would consist more of 'mayo' and less of vegetables, she would probably reconsider her invention.
"Umm... do you like it?" asked Natsuki hesitantly, passing me the bowl.
As reluctant as I was to taste this concoction, I could not refuse her request. Not now, when we were finally talking freely and enjoying each other's company. Bracing myself, I scooped some mayo with a piece of renkon and brought it to my mouth.
"It has very... distinct... and interesting taste" I finally admitted, having swallowed and washed the bit down with some wine. "Although I think that I shall leave it for Natsuki, since she apparently enjoys it much more than me."
"Really?" The girl beamed with unrestrained joy and almost jumped in her seat to get the bowl back. This sudden chirpiness, coupled with a constant flush of her usually pale face, caught my attention. "Cool! Thanks, Sh-Shiz... Shizuru!"
Natsuki almost devoured the rest of mayo, nearly forgetting the vegetables it should be accompanying, while I watched her closely. There was no mistaking it - the change in her behaviour has been brought about by the wine we were drinking. Was she that unaccustomed to drinking or was the liquor too strong for her?
Either way, it seemed that the night ahead of us would be a long and eventful one.
First rays of the rising sun caught me in Natsuki's room, laying beside her on a futon. I was observing her sleeping face, finally calm and peaceful after the night full of turmoil and emotions. The feverish colour was finally gone from the porcelain features, though the trails left behind by tears were still painfully visible.
My lovely girl stirred in her slumber, light covers sliding down her slim body and revealing camisole-clad chest. I reached over to pull the blanket a little higher, when pale eyelids slowly moved up, fluttered a bit and finally settled somewhere halfway between open and closed, granting me a glimpse of a drowsy green. I froze in place, with my right hand hovering just above Natsuki's breasts.
"Sh-Shizuru...?" Slight quiver in the husky voice didn't escape my attention. "What are you... what's going on?"
She started to look around, noticing the state of her undress and the fact that we were sharing her bed. The situation was so similar to our first evening, except for one tiny detail.
"Shizuru?"
"Ara, how can Natsuki ask such questions, especially after last night?" I moved back and sat on my haunches to give her some space. "Was it not you, dear one, who wanted to be loved? Who had but one request: to feel special for at least one night?"
"I... I don't remember... not a single thing..." Her breath quickened and started to became erratic, her now wide open eyes full of pleas and denial. "You... you didn't... You didn't, right?!"
"I didn't..." smiling warmly at the relief washing over Natsuki's features, I continued, "do anything against Natsuki's will. I only followed your wishes, my lovely, and if you do not remember, we can easily relive those moments for new memories."
It took a moment for my words to sink in this raven head but when they did Natsuki sprang to her feet and started to back away, unshed tears gleaming in her eyes.
"How... How could you do that... to me...? Shizuru, how...?"
I reached out to stop her retreat but she jerked my hand away.
"No! Don't touch me!" She kept moving backwards to finally slide down the wall and curl up. "You defiled me! Shizuru, how could you? And I... I..." Her voice broke into sobs.
A tease gone too far. Natsuki's broken form pained me so much more as I was the one to bring this suffering upon her.
"Natsuki..." I tried to explain, to apologise, but Natsuki closed her eyes shut and covered her ears. Instead, I picked up the blanket and though the girl shied away from me, I put it over her shoulders. "I never did anything to which Natsuki have not consented." Getting no response to that, I sighed. "Try to remember, lovely one, I beg that of thee."
Resting a hand on a shaking head, I passed to Natsuki my own recollection of what transpired between us that night. Nothing to regret, nothing to be embarrassed about: my dear companion overused the wine and got a tad too open for both of our likings. After complaining of her own insignificance and getting a few innocent hugs, she broke a fever and passed out. If she would only listen to me...
Silently, I moved to another room and set the table, maybe for the last time, maybe even unnecessarily, but I needed something to busy my hands and thoughts with. When everything was ready, I sat down, sipping a tea and trying to reign in all unwanted thoughts.
Finally, after a time that seemed longer than it really was, I heard soft padding of her feet and felt her presence behind me. Not taking my eyes away from the teacup, I awaited her decision when something light was placed upon my head. I rose a hand to the object - a small flower wreath. In an instant, the last meeting with Reki and her gift back then came to me. Was that a goodbye then, Natsuki? Shall I open the gate for you and never see you again?
Natsuki moved away but only to sit by the table; not at her usual place, though, at the opposite side of it. No; rather, she sat at the closer edge, by my left hand. And when she passed me a bowl to serve her some rice, I noticed the sheepish smile gracing her features.
"Thank you, Shizuru."
Planning it or not, taking a tease too far or relenting to Natsuki's wishes - somehow, I was granted with the most beautiful gift of all - my companion's trust.
The bomb was ticking. Three... two... one...
"Shizuru!"
Indignant huff and my laughter. Those two became inseparable lately.
Always making sure that hidden in the emerald eyes was amusement, not fear or even anxiety, I teased Natsuki to my heart's content. The events on the Day of Flight made me realize that despite the stirring which Natsuki's beauty caused in me, I did not want to simply take her - I wanted to have her by my side for as long as possible.
And I knew that the time for taking would come.
Because those who are waiting long enough, are eventually given...
No Author's Ramblings this time cause I'm extremely happy that so many of you like this story :) Being placed in one's favorites among my own fanfiction masters is just... wow! Like being put on the same shelf with Pratchett and Norton :D
Thanks a lot for all your alerts and reviews and stuff... Do not hesitate to point out any shortcomings of this story, though (they're valuable for me, really) - like the fact, that Natsuki turned out too skittish in this chapter or that her character is all over the place... I just can't get a good grip on her motivations...
Anyway, I'm off to celebrations (we have double holiday today - The Assumption and The Polish Army Day) :)
Have a nice day!