My beta said I won't write this chapter in two weeks. And I proved her wrong :D Though I probably shouldn't say that 'cause now you'd want new chapter before the summer break ^.^
On with the story!
Mai had a good life.
She got married quite young, to an honest and hard-working man. They weren't in love but they respected and cherished each other, and in time some love-like bond formed between them. They never had children so when the man died prematurely - whether in an accident or from some disease Natsuki couldn't recall - Mai was left on her own.
But a woman of heart this great couldn't stay alone for long; a few months after her husband's death, Mai took in an orphan from the village. After a while, a young couple whose daughter was suffering from partial paresis paid the woman a visit. They were simple farmers and as the child grew older, they found raising her out of their capability. Glad to be needed, Mai took care of this girl as well.
And that's how it all started. Through the years, many girls - usually orphaned or touched with various mental and physical disabilities - were accepted into Mai's household and raised with great love, as well as great discipline. At some point, the woman moved out of the village and into a small farm, to provide her wards with conditions in which they could live peacefully.
When Natsuki arrived under Mai's roof after her mother's death, she was no more than five years old. Among the girls, there was one, a couple years older, that got her attention more than any other and who became to Natsuki as her older sister.
The girl's name was Nao and she was one of these free-spirited individuals who can't be fitted into a mould with any amount of discipline. She made nothing of Mai's admonishments, wandering off whenever she felt like, skipping on her chores and - to her caretaker's great despair - smoking and drinking with village adolescents.
It happened when Natsuki was about eleven, maybe twelve years old. Nao was nowhere to be found so Mai sent my girl to the village to bring her back, knowing she was the only one capable of persuading the rebellious one to anything. In her search for her sister, Natsuki wandered behind the tavern, half-expecting the older girl to be squeezing some guy in the shadows.
But she was wrong: not only did she not find Nao, but stumbled onto a small group of drunken lads. She tried to back off quietly but one of them spotted her and almost instantly Natsuki found herself surrounded by sweaty bodies, buzzing with hormones and alcohol, looking for some cheap fun. My smart girl knew how to defend herself so - even if shivers were running down her spine - she kicked the guy in front of her in his intimate parts. He doubled in pain but Natsuki soon regretted her action as two pairs of strong hands caught her with force that she couldn't overcome. She called for help but the night was still young and tavern's patrons were making too much ruckus to hear her.
Self-proclaimed group leader finally got over the pain and swearing that she would pay him threefold for the kick, he grabbed at Natsuki's face, forcing her into a kiss. Could it even be called a kiss: mouth moving sloppily, teeth roughly bruising innocent lips, tongue pushed inside without consent... By Heavens! this was not how one should learn of carnal love! This was not how she should be kissed...
In an act of desperation, the girl bit her oppressor's tongue and fell to the ground, shoved aside by the guy. She curled into a ball, prepared for beating or something far worse when suddenly a familiar voice resounded in the alley. It was Nao, offering the group company of someone more their age, someone better-versed in what they sought.
Natsuki was told to go home and not to mention anything to Aunt Mai. At Nao's insistence she did just that, albeit reluctantly because she noticed tremble and apprehension in the older girl's voice. She was the only one who noticed, drunken lads happily accepting the new company and a promise of fun without risk of being kicked or bitten.
Nao came home well into the night, her steps stiff and cautious as if she was in pain. But when Natsuki asked her, she denied, patting the girl's head and making her promise she won't worry their caretaker. It was one promise Natsuki would regret her entire life. She thought that maybe if she had told Mai about what happened that night, Nao would still be alive.
Yet, she remained silent and for the next few days Nao was the most obedient and quiet girl in Mai's household. Then one night she just sneaked out and disappeared. A few days later, someone found her body washed upon a lakeside...
We were sitting on a rug in front of a fireplace. Sometime during Natsuki's story we moved from the armchairs so that I could easily hold the girl in my arms, occasionally stroking her hair or rocking us lightly.
Surprisingly enough, even though her voice wavered from time to time, Natsuki has not shed a tear. She explained that Nao wouldn't want her to sob and blubber, not even because of all this.
"But sometimes I do miss her, Shizuru." Natsuki cuddled into me a bit. "I even miss how she cursed at me whenever I hid her smokes because I didn't like how she smelled of them..."
We both chuckled, though my girl did that not without a hint of sadness.
"Nao did what she thought best because she must have greatly cared for Natsuki. Now I feel obliged to help her as well." I took Natsuki's face in my palms, tracing the corner of her mouth with my thumb. "Forget about those drunken lads, my lovely. Let this become your first kiss. Let all the past ones be gone and forgotten as if they never happened."
I caught her lips in a gentle kiss, caressing them for but a shortest moment, with all sweetness and tenderness I had in my heart. When I pulled back, my lips tingling and longing for more, Natsuki looked at me with wide eyes, her slim fingers touching where my mouth was just before.
"Shizuru..." She started, her voice edging between awe and amusement. "You just... Do you mean you've just stolen my first kiss?"
"That's... not exactly what I had in mind." In truth, I only wanted to help Natsuki forget the past, replacing it with something good. "But if Natsuki sees it this way I most certainly don't mind being called a thief."
Lovely shade of pink tinted the porcelain cheeks and pale eyelids half-covered emerald orbs. Smirking, I swept my thumb over slightly parted lips.
"Of course, I wouldn't mind giving back what I have so wrongfully taken but I'm afraid that Natsuki would see it rather as an attempt to steal her second kiss as well."
The girl burst into rippling laughter, leaning into my hand.
"Auntie Mai would say you are just like Nao. Incorrigible!" Suddenly, she stood up, her expression unexpectedly stern. "The law states that thieves shall be severely punished. Come with me and humbly accept what you deserve."
I took Natsuki's hand and let her take me to the kitchen where I was seated by the table and told to keep my eyes closed. Straining my ears, I heard the girl's rummaging in the pantry, and then her victorious shout, followed by her footsteps coming back to me.
"Lo and behold!" A tad nervous, I opened my eyes. Natsuki was holding a jar; she took the lid off and presented me with its contents. "This is your punishment."
I easily recognised thick substance in the jar as mayo, Natsuki's beloved condiment. But there was something different about its smell, some light and tangy note that I couldn't name.
"Open your mouth." Swallowing, I sent Natsuki a desperate look. Was she going to feed me entire jar of this sauce? My girl just rolled her eyes, dipped a finger in mayo and held it by my mouth. "Come on, open up."
There was this twinkle in her eye, this mischievous glint... Bracing myself I took her finger in my mouth, only to be amazed when I noticed quite noticeable difference from the taste I remembered.
"It's... good. Kind of refreshing... And..." There was some definitely familiar flavour to this portion of mayo. I dipped my finger in the jar to try a bit more. Suddenly, I understood. "Green tea?!"
Natsuki beamed and nodded her head.
"Auntie Mai tried for a couple of days before she could get the ratio right. You like it, right?"
"Mhm. But methinks it tastes best when eaten like this..." I took Natsuki's hand, dipped her finger in green tea mayo and proceeded to lick it off. "Yes, this is the best."
My lovely girl burned bright red and muttered under her breath, but her face was still adorned with the most enchanting smile.
"To sum up, Natsuki owes me three sessions of feet massage, two months long abstemiousness from mayo..."
"Oi, you staked eating a whole jar of it and if I'm not mistaken - lost that one. Why don't we say those two cancel each other?"
I thought for a moment and struck that point out of my list. After all, I have won a lot more from Natsuki that night.
It started innocently, with a game of draughts just to kill time. Sometime during the kings' chase one of us suggested to bet on the outcome. As a single game of draughts took quite long to resolve a bet, we switched to other games. Several rounds of charades, gomoku and twenty questions - among others - later, I ended with quite a long list of things promised by Natsuki.
"Oh, and my personal favourite: teaching Natsuki a tea ceremony so she could one day perform it for me."
Dark brows went up and my girl's face scrunched in thought.
"When did I lose that one? I'm pretty sure I was leading at that round of pick-up-sticks."
"You were until you pricked yourself with a trident." Natsuki only nodded desolately. I didn't want this evening, previously joyous and full of laughter, to end on a sour note thus I proposed: "Natsuki, do you still feel like gambling? Why don't we make one final bet and play a single round of poker to see who's got more luck. What would you say?" Seeing how my girl was considering this option, I added: "Whatever the outcome might be, all previous bets will be null and void. If Natsuki gets a higher hand, she can ask me for anything that lies within my power. And should I be the lucky one..." Here I paused, thinking for a moment about the best prize. "Should I be the lucky one, I want Natsuki to spend the night with me."
The girl blushed but actually took her time to consider my proposition.
"Just one deal and whoever gets the higher hand, gets it all?" I nodded. "I'm in. Anything to get myself out of some stuff on your list." She grinned to me. "And you better be ready for my wish."
Chuckling at her enthusiasm, I procured a deck and I put it before Natsuki.
"I believe Natsuki should be the one to shuffle and deal the cards." I smiled teasingly and added, before the girl could protest: "After all, we will be relying on luck and not on our own skills. I wouldn't want Natsuki to think that I use my powers to cheat and win this one."
Natsuki got pensive for a moment, but soon enough her lips were graced with a warm smile.
"But you won't do it consciously, right? You don't plan on magically picking out all the highest cards to win me?"
"Never!" I hastily denied. "I would never..."
"Then it's okay." Interjected my girl and pushed the deck towards me. "Shuffle, deal and we'll see who's got Lady Luck's favour."
Taking beautifully decorated cards in my hands I paused for a moment to ponder Natsuki's words. Could I even influence such a thing? Was it within my power to change the outcome of a game of chance? And if the answer was affirmative, would I really dare to do that just to make my wish come true?
Cardboard pieces were shuffled and dealt, five for Natsuki and five for me. I put the deck aside and gathered my cards, not looking at them yet.
"Are you sure, Natsuki? We can always rematch tomorrow evening." Suddenly, I wasn't so sure of this "one final bet" idea.
"I don't like to leave things hanging over me." With a wide grin, she added, picking up the cards: "And I got nothing to lose."
A moment of silence, as she studied what was dealt and then:
"Yes!" shouted joyfully Natsuki. "You won't beat this one!" She laid out her cards with a triumphant sweep. A pair of Emperors and three cards with Priestess, a set often called a Royal Court. In other words, one of the highest possible hands and consisting of the highest cards as well. "Now, let me think of my prize..."
I smiled softly at the bright light in her eyes and the thoughtful pose she assumed. Somehow glad that I wasn't the one favoured by fate, I looked at my own cards.
"Maybe I could make you let me go and just visit you when you need company... "
I barely stopped my face from felling.
"Nah, that'd be a waste of a prize. Hmm... What else, what else..."
"Natsuki," raising eyes from the cards in my hand, I softly called her name. So immersed in thoughts was she that I had to repeat, a bit louder. "Natsuki."
"And then we could picnic by that lake in the mountains and you'll have to prepare me sticky sticks by yourself. Yep, that's a good plan. You were saying?" Apparently, it took some time before my soft cooing registered in her mind.
With an almost apologetic smile, I showed her my cards: all of them of the lowest values but with with a quad of twos I had a hand even higher than Natsuki's. It took only a moment for the girl to understand the situation. The emerald eyes opened wide, glimmering, and a soft chuckle escaped Natsuki's lips.
"Lady Luck has a weird sense of humour, doesn't she? I guess it must be the being a goddess stuff because she's just like you in this matter." Natsuki closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "So, where do you want have me?"
The calm, sad smile gracing Natsuki's features at that moment was so unlike her that my heart twitched. I wanted to bring back the childlike joy that was lighting her face up just a few heartbeats earlier. I wanted her eyes to be burning with fire of laughter and passion and not drowning in resignation to her fate.
She was still not looking at me so when I sat behind and embraced her, Natsuki yelped.
"Shizuru!" Her body tensed, as if in anticipation of something unpleasant. "He-here? It's... Is it... good idea? I thought..."
"Ara, it seems to me that my Natsuki thinks a bit too much about naughty things." I perched my chin on her shoulder and felt the heat of her blush. "I only remember mentioning having Natsuki's company for the night. I never said what I want to do with her."
I loosened my embrace so the girl could turn to face me. She shot me an exasperated look, full of incredulity.
"B-but Shizuru! You said you want to spend the night and this usually mean one thing. I don't want you to think I won't keep my end of the deal just because..."
I put a finger to Natsuki's soft lips, effectively silencing her.
"If Natsuki insists so much that this is how she wants to spend the night with me," I deliberately paused and looked deep into the anxious emeralds. "Then I shall wait for her in the bath." I hugged the girl closely one more time, whispering: "Trust me, Natsuki, and join whenever you are ready."
Long, aromatic baths always were my favourite - right after quiet tea-time at the veranda - way of relaxation. It was readily visible in my bathroom where, beside the small tube, I had a more traditional open bath where up to five people could soak at once. Well, that or indulge themselves in even more sensual pleasures as I used to in the past.
It was in this bath, filled with deliciously warm water, that I waited for Natsuki's arrival. The air was permeated with a sweet aroma of citrusy bath salts. I submerged deeper, enjoying the caresses of water on my skin, and a content sigh escaped my lips. My back was turned to the door so I didn't see when my girl entered the room.
It was by the quiet rustling of a towel that I learned of her presence. Even then, not wanting to further embarrass her, I stayed in place with my eyes closed. I heard her running water and most probably scrubbing herself clean before she could join me for a soak. Finally, soft padding of her feet closed in and water lapped at my side as Natsuki stepped into the bath.
Through half-opened eyes, I watched her wading through the water and sitting at the opposite side. While this gave me great view of her body, I didn't find it enough. Wondering, whether the red tint on her features came from the temperature or embarrassment, I scooted closer, within an arm's reach.
Natsuki looked at me and wordlessly closed the distance between us, her naked shoulder bumping against mine. Once again, I closed my eyes, reveling in the girl's closeness. As the silence was prolonging, a single thought wormed its way into my mind, a sudden urge to share something with the one by my side.
"Natsuki," I started softly and immediately felt her eyes falling upon me. I felt her body tensing, unsure of what I may want from her. "Have you ever wondered what your life would look like if somewhere in the past you've made a different choice?"
I chanced a look at the girl and even though she said nothing, the curiosity in her eyes made me continue.
"At times like this I often go back to the first days of my existence. To the choices I made back then. If I did things differently, would I still be here with you? Would I ever have a chance to meet you, get to know you and be gifted so many wonderful experiences?"
Smaller gods are not born as ones. We are created as free spirits, given human body and left on our own till it becomes clear what kind of powers we should be given.
My very first memory is one of a green meadow, swept by a gentle afternoon breeze. That's where I came to consciousness, laying in the grass, my eyes opening to the blue skies adorned with cloudlets. I had no recollection of who I was or what was I doing in that place. Just my name: Shizuru and an irresistible call to stand up and follow the clouds.
It took me a while to get a grasp of how my limbs were working, my first movements either too stiff or too soft. Finally, I found the right rhythm and set upon a journey, without a faintest idea of... of anything, actually.
Just as the sun was beginning to set, it became harder to move, my legs heavier by each step and my body making weird, rumbling noises. Noticing another human being in a distance, I headed their way, hoping they would know who I am. But as I neared the woman standing by the well, I faltered; there were no words in my head - how was I going to ask her anything? The woman must have taken this for a sign of weakness, for she took my arm.
"Are you alright, missy?" Her warm eyes looked at me with worry. Before I could open my mouth, the rumbling in my belly came back and the woman smiled. "Ah, you must be hungry, am I right?"
I thought for a moment.
"Yes," I nodded, realising that this was a word for the need I felt. "I am... hungry. You... help?"
I heard but a few words from this stranger and yet, my head was starting to fill with words, with the language used by her. The woman smiled even wider, crow's feet forming by her eyes. She offered to feed me and put me up for the night, if I help her carry water buckets. The buckets looked heavy and I was not only hungry, but tired as well. After all, it was the very first day of my existence and I wasn't used to living. But I agreed. Later, it would turn out that I made the right choice.
I paused for a moment, taking a look at my companion. Natsuki was completely engrossed in my story, her eyes twinkling with excitement like that of a child. Smiling gently, I reached with left hand to put a strand of raven hair behind her ear. She blushed at this gesture, looking away, and I used this moment to urge her to sit in my lap. The girl complied not without a reluctance but soon enough her tension melted away and she leaned against my shoulder.
It's funny how - even though my hands were itching for more - I felt satisfied just by having her so close to me. Sighing happily, I kissed the crown of her head and resumed my story.
The next morning, my good hostess asked for my plans. Since I had none - I still had no idea who I was, let alone where I was and what I was supposed to do - she offered me to stay at her place, help her take care of the house and the garden, and her children. I was to do basic chores and in return her family would provide me with board and lodging. I wholeheartedly agreed and stayed there for some time.
Eventually, the autumn came and one day a fair was organised in the nearby town. Kaede, my hostess, called her children and gave each of them a small coin so they could take part in the festivities. This was meant as a reward for their help during harvest. Then she called me and with a warm smile that almost never left her features, handed me a coin as well. My heart leapt with joy so I hugged the woman before running after the kids.
The fair overwhelmed me with abundance of games and treats. Street vendors shouted, inviting people to their booths, dancers and tumblers performed here and there, food stalls tempted with delicious smells. I stood a bit to the side, considering how my coin should best be spent when I noticed a skinny lad, hanging by the skewers vendor. Every once in while, he would come up to one of the customers and ask them something, only to be pushed aside, his face saddening.
It took me a while of close observation to understand that he was asking for some charity, be it money or food. I looked at the coin in my hand; it wasn't much but I could use it to feed him. On the other hand, if I spent it for him, I wouldn't be able to participate in any game later. Still lost in thought, I closed my palm over the coin and in this moment, the boy started to move away from the vendors, obviously having given up.
Without thinking, I ran after him, caught his ragged sleeve and tugged him back to the food sellers. I put the coin on the counter and asked the man running the booth to give me its worth in his wares. He eyed both of us intently, finally sliding money into his pouch and turning back to prepare our food. A few moments later, we were each given a bread bowl, filled with piping hot stew. I thanked the seller and started away from the booth, when his low, rumbling voice reached me.
"Missy, you forgot to take these as well." His big palms were holding a handful of small honeyed cookies. I looked at the treat with utter confusion; this much goodness for a single coin. But the man only smiled and pointed his chin towards the greedily eating boy. "Don't forget to share with you friend."
"And that was the second choice that determined who I am today."
"What about the third?" Natsuki looked at me with curiosity. "Things like this usually come in threes."
"The third..." I wondered aloud, slowly stroking raven tresses. "You could say there was a third one as well... When it came I had been living with Kaede's family for quite a long time. Everyone had already considered me one of their own. Then one day, I woke up with the urge to leave them. To leave it all. Not only the house and its occupants, not only the village and its surroundings, but everything. Some voice kept whispering in my ear to stand up, put my shoes on and follow the wind."
Many a time did I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't answered the call. If I hadn't said my goodbyes and departed from these that I held dear.
"Natsuki," I murmured, desperately needing a change of subject before the tears flowed from my eyes. "You're mine for the night, right?" A quiet hum of acquiescence. "Then will you allow me one more indulgence?"
Emerald orbs hid behind the eyelids and light blush adorned Natsuki's cheeks as she inquired:
"You won me, you don't have to ask... Still, what indulgence do you have in mind?"
"Will Natsuki..." I licked my lips, suddenly feeling hesitant. "Will Natsuki let me wash her hair?"
Her eyes shot open, their depths sparkling with amusement.
"Why do you even ask?" With laughter, she pulled me out of the bath and to the low stool, designed for pre-soaking ablutions. "Do your bidding, o mighty goddess, for this humble individual puts herself to your mercy."
Was she trying to tease the master of teasing? Chuckling at how she managed to pull me out of the painful memories, I put some shampoo onto her scalp. It felt nice, to have my fingers entwined in the soft tresses of her hair. And if Natsuki's sigh was any indication, I wasn't the only one who enjoyed this massage.
"So?" Inquired all of the sudden the husky voice. "How have those choices brought you to where you are today?"
"You could probably call them a test." Having rinsed Natsuki's hair, I applied some more shampoo and resumed my previous activity. "Soon after leaving Kaede's household I lost consciousness and awoke to a completely different reality. I was made a goddess because the test seemingly proved that I possess all necessary qualities."
"You don't sound too convinced." I didn't respond so Natsuki asked: "What happened to Kaede and her family?"
"I don't know. I tried to find her with my powers to at least thank her for her kindness but it was as if she hadn't existed in the first place." I shrugged and once again rinsed Natsuki's hair. "Maybe she hadn't. Maybe she was just some lower spirit, acting its part for the test to be run. Don't think about that." I leaned forward and embraced Natsuki. "Thank you for this night, Natsuki," I whispered in her ear and stood up, making my way back to the bath.
I expected her to call it a night and leave the bathroom so I was pleasantly surprised when she followed me, entering the bath and resuming her place on my lap.
"You know, Shizuru," murmured Natsuki, pressing her heated face into my shoulder. "Actually, I'm glad that you passed this test." This left me speechless - wouldn't it be better for her if I failed it over and over again? "Cause if you had failed I would probably never have the chance to meet you."
And you'd still be living peacefully with your Aunt and Tardy Trio. You wouldn't worry every day if this perverted goddess loses control over her desires and forces you to pay for your life by attending her in her bed. You would most probably be much better off...
"Natsuki," I cooed softly but to no response. Has she fallen asleep? No, her heart was beating way too strong and too quick for that. Was she giving me a leeway then so I could act upon my longings, spending the night with her in the way she meant it earlier?
Two could play this game.
I lifted Natsuki up, dried her and dressed in the nightwear. Then, I carried her to her room and laid her upon the futon. At the thought of how these moments resembled our first evening together, I couldn't stop a chuckle.
"Sleep well, my lovely one. I am grateful for what you gave me this night." I leaned closer and placed a kiss on her forehead. "You make me glad that I passed the test as well."
*a minute of silence for Nao*
You didn't expect that one, am I right? :)
It's kinda sad but we're almost at the end of the story. The next chapter shall take us back to the beginning of the "flashback" that started way back, in chapter 2.
Thank you for all the reviews, alerts and stuff. You are the greatest boost to one's self-consciousness! :)
Here come's the bad news: I work in a public office and in the second part of June we're being inspected by Supreme Audit Office. This means double workload as all paperwork must be put in order (not that we ever slack but the Boss of mine is over-sensitive when it comes to the smallest things. :P) What I mean to say: there's high possibility that the next chapter of this story and '30 shekels' won't be up until somewhere in July. Gomen in advance *bows*