Guys, I'm seriously amazed that you are still waiting for this. It's not like it's a great story and the outcome is easy to guess. You make me feel ashamed for taking over a year to finish it (and to think it only took me a week to write this chapter!).
A lot has happened since I started writing this story - learned more about writing, met some super-awesome people, lost some of them, got a half-steady job... I feel old T.T
Anyway - this finale I dedicate to each and every one of you if only reading these silly stories of mine brings smile to your faces.
All in all, I feel good.
Last night, I succumbed to light sleep shortly after midnight and stayed so till the sunrise. My slumber was peaceful and full of sweet dreams. So sweet in fact, that upon awakening I regretted that they were not more than that.
Still, I was well-rested and energized. My whole being was buzzing with power ready to be released. I drank my morning tea on the veranda as was becoming my custom, peeking now and then into the human realm. Harvest time was long gone and my followers were contentedly preparing for the winter.
Chuckling to myself, I put my powers to work and soon the village was filled with children's laughter and squeals at the first snow this year. Even adults took a break, setting up a huge pot in the square and making mulled wine.
Their joy is contagious. Sitting at my desk, I remember the songs they were singing and hum one of them. I read the prayer scrolls and find that today supplications are scarce. Days like this predispose people to gratefulness and praise. I respond in kind, giving my blessings in such an abundance that they will not forget it. Yes, I do feel good.
Then, there is a voice in my head, calling me. It is the kind of call that sometimes came to me right before the prayer. I wait eagerly for the new scroll to appear but there's none. Even so, the calling continues, more urgent than before. Eventually, I realise two things at once.
The voice keeps repeating my name, not my title. Everyone, every single follower of mine knows me as Goddess Viola. There's only one among the living with whom I shared my name.
And it is this one's voice that I hear now. My heart clenches, even more so when I realize the distress she's in.
"Natsuki," I whisper though she can't hear me.
Whole seasons have passed since she left my heavenly abode. All this time, thoughts of her were near me. As the days turned into weeks and weeks into months, the longing slowly dulled and faded. Eventually, it has become a shadow in the back of my mind: always present but not overwhelming. Oftentimes, I caught myself wondering how Natsuki was doing. At any given moment I could see it for myself, yet I felt I had no right to do so. Not after I betrayed the girl and hurt her.
She calls me again and I discover that time changed nothing: the familiar low voice fills my heart with ache and desire and… joy. Because she does call for me. Whatever troubles her, she believes I can aid that.
I want to jump into action, unleash my powers and save Natsuki. Want a chance to redeem myself. But I don't even know where she is so I look into the human realm, checking the places she's most likely to be in.
Natsuki is not at Mai's homestead where Tardy Trio decorates their hut with boughs of holly. Neither is she in the town square among the festivities. Her favourite clearing by the waterfall is empty, so is every other spot known to me that she likes to frequent.
When I finally find her, it is in the last place I would expect her to be. Laying upon the old cracked altar on the hill, she shivers in a thin white dress. Falling snow adorns her dark hair like a diamond dust and her cheeks are lightly reddened by the frost.
Not a blink of an eye later I am by Natsuki's side, shielding her from the snow and the wind. It is then when I notice tears freezing into icicles on her lashes. My heart misses a beat when I realize that she's no longer calling for me and I fall to my knees, shaking her.
Moments feeling like ages pass before Natsuki blinks her eyes open. At first, the twin emeralds are clouded and unfocused but soon enough I see recognition dawning in them. My poor girl tries to say something but only small puffs of breath escape her mouth. She gives up on words and pushes something into my hand. Cold fingers brush my cheek and a drowsy smile dances on Natsuki's lips before her eyes close again.
I gather the girl in my arms and step into my heavens.
It is only after Natsuki's thawed and wrapped up in a blanket that I can breathe again. I sit in front of the fireplace with my girl on my lap, too anxious to let her out of my sight for even a second. Stroking still damp black hair, I turn back to the letter she gave me on the hill.
...I tried to go back to what life once was. How hard could that be, right? It turned out harder that I thought. Somehow, I've grown accustomed to your presence. Back with Auntie Mai and girls nothing changed but at the same time everything was different. No day would truly start without green tea - lightly sweetened, like yours. Falling asleep was hard without that smell you always bring with you. Lavender, is it? Time and time again, I caught myself turning around and half-expecting you to be there, waiting with a tease.
Here, Natsuki's handwriting became shaky and even less legible than before.
I have no idea how or when that happened but you sneaked into my heart. You became a part of me. I don't know how to call this feeling but whatever this is…
Natsuki whimpers and squirms but stays fast asleep. When I stroke her cheek with the back of my hand she calms down.
...whatever this is, it makes want to be near you. To hold you and see you smile.
The next few lines are crossed out and although I could probably decipher their meaning I refrain from doing so.
Let's just get this over with. You wanted me whole, right? You already stole my heart and my mind, so why not take my body as well? If this is the price I am to pay for your presence then so be it.
I am yours, Shizuru.
Your sacrifice.
I barely finish reading the letter - the words that tug at my heart and confuse my mind - when the pale eyelids rise and reveal green irises. The moment feels like something that had already happened to us as Natsuki is blinking and yawning and finally mumbling:
"Hi…"
There is a smile on her face, a bit drowsy one yet reaching her eyes.
"Hello, lovely." The sight fills me with great tenderness. Running my fingers through the dark hair, I touch my lips to the girl's temple. "I so missed you." I lay another kiss to the crown of her head. "Missed you so so much…"
Natsuki snuggles into me and hums.
"You came back." In this very moment all pieces fall in place and as the realisation dawns, great surprise comes into my voice. "After all that happened… you came back."
The girl doesn't respond but groans while stretching. The blanket rides down her chest and she notices that her white dress is gone.
"So you a-already took it?" Her nervous stutter is back and she's no longer snuggling into me.
It takes a moment before I realize what she means by that.
"I took nothing, Natsuki." I'm trying to catch her gaze. "I would never~"
"Of course," she interrupts me. "You would rather have me conscious and cooperating, right?" Natsuki frantically tries to undo her shirt fastenings. "Well, I am now."
All this bravado to hide the trembling of her voice, the soft shadow in her glassy eyes. I catch the slim palm with one hand and bring it up to my mouth. Natsuki still tears at the fastenings with her other hand so I catch this one as well.
The girl looks at me quizzically.
"Shizuru…" she starts but is interrupted when a powerful shiver shakes her body. I realize that her cheeks are flushed not only from embarrassment. My lovely girl is feverish, her breaths becoming shallow and laborious.
I gather Natsuki bundled in the blanket in my arms and carry her to the bedroom. Half-lucid, she asks me to be gentle. Stifling a chuckle I promise her that and lay the girl down, joining her on the futon soon after.
Natsuki immediately curls into me like a puppy and falls asleep once again. My sweet, lovely girl… Why did you bring yourself to such a state? You should have just called for me and I would be there for you. There was no need for this cursed altar and exposing yourself to bad weather and for this ceremonial dress. Is that how you see yourself: a sacrifice and nothing more? Natsuki…
My musings are cut short by Natsuki's snuffling and quiet whimpers. Combing her hair with my fingers, I start whispering the words of a blessing that should speed up her recovery. I keep my watch over her till the wee hours of morning when her fever finally breaks and I can feel her life force getting stronger by a minute.
She's back.
A few hours later, I sit back by her side and watch Natsuki slowly wake up. She is in much better state than last night and when the pair of emeralds eventually appears from behind the pale eyelids, they're sparkling with life. Then comes a moment of confusion when Natsuki notices me and realizes where we are.
"You rescued me again."
"Natsuki seems to have a strange penchant for old altars." I wink at her and her face brightens with a smile. "And there is this one goddess that is not really fond of unwilling sacrifices."
The dark-haired girl looks down but then surprises me by kissing my cheek. For once, I am the speechless and baffled one. Natsuki looks around in an obvious attempt to avoid meeting my gaze and she notices the food tray I put to the side.
"What's this?"
"Breakfast in bed, my dear." I retrieve the tray and place it over Natsuki's legs. "You will need plenty energy for today."
The girl's thoughts must take turn in some unpleasant direction because she chokes a bit on rice. Judging by the colouring on her face, it's the same kind of thoughts that pushed her last night. Still, when I offer her a cup of tea, Natsuki sends me her happiest smile, completely carefree and relaxed.
I welcome it with relief as a good sign for the future.
The morning passes in amiable atmosphere with Natsuki eagerly telling me about the past months. I notice there are things she doesn't mention, moments when she falls quiet and a little sad but I say nothing, simply enjoying her presence.
After the breakfast we visit Auntie Mai because I suspect - and it turns out I am right - that Natsuki once again disappeared without a word. The older woman invites us for freshly-baked muffins and Tardy Trio conveniently forgets about the chores to join us.
Not without a surprise, I learn that there is a new member in the household. Even knowing that her time is drawing near, Mai could not refuse taking in a three-year-old girl abandoned by her parents. She sends me that all-knowing smile of hers and I get a feeling that Natsuki and I will be frequent guests in here. After all, the kids will need someone to take care of them and I am sure that little Anne won't be the last of them accepted in this family.
Amidst the good company, bantering and laughters time flies quickly and before we notice, most of the day dwindles away. I had this whole day planned - actually, Natsuki had it all planned when she thought she won our card bet - and now I am forced to scratch the bigger part of it. Not that I regret it. My lovely girl's wide smile and openness are the best I could wish for with any carefully knitted plan.
Having said our goodbyes, we make it back to the heavens. We were supposed to end this day picnicking by the lake in the mountains but the early onset of winter caused by some playful goddess prevents us from that.
Instead, I lay out a blanket on the floor in front of my fireplace. This place has already witnessed so much that it feels proper for whatever will happen tonight.
Natsuki lets out an adorable chuckle when she notices a bowl of sticky sticks I prepared while she was still asleep. For the moment though, full of Mai's homemade goods, we leave the food aside. The important part is that I made it.
We sit down in silence and for the first time since her wake-up Natsuki seems nervous. She must suspect what will follow but there is no fear in her eyes. Rather, I think I notice some affection lurking in their green depths.
I lie down and pull Natsuki to join me. Brushing the raven hair away from her face, I say nothing. Sating my eyes with the sight of her is enough. For now at least.
"Shizuru, I…" Natsuki stumbles and sighs but when I try to say something, she stops me. "I think I…" She stutters again but the determined set of her jaw tells me not to interrupt. "I like you. I really really like you." Another sigh. "I think I might lo-lo…"
When she can't push the word out, I put two fingers to her lips.
"I know, love." Smiling gently at her, I trace her lips with my fingers. "You came back." Under her questioning, uncertain gaze, I quickly add what I should have started this day with: "I love you too."
With a relieved sigh, Natsuki relaxes and pulls closer to me. Once again, I discover that she fits my body so perfectly as if we were made for each other.
One more thing bothers me, though.
"Natsuki?" She hums but doesn't look at me so I pull back a little. I need to see her face when she'll answer the question. "Would it truly be just a price you have to pay?"
"I've never… been with someone." She doesn't look at me and her voice is really quiet. "But I want to be with you." I stroke Natsuki's head, encouraging her to continue. "It feels good being with you," she finally offers with a sheepish smile. "It feels right."
I don't ask any more.
As we snuggle on the blanket, I lay my left hand on her stomach, feeling its tautness through the thin cloth of Natsuki's shirt. My fingers stroke and draw simple patterns while I try to gauge my girl's reaction.
Her eyes are on me, curious, searching, maybe a tad wary. Yet, she doesn't shy away from my touch nor does she tense so I continue. I let my fingers sneak under her shirt and push it up. Bit by bit, the creamy expanse of her tummy is revealed to my eyes and I revel in the way her muscles are dancing under my fingertips.
Natsuki observes my movements but says nothing. A light blush paints her cheeks the loveliest shade of pink and there's an unmistakable twinkle in her eyes. I lean down and touch my lips to her stomach. It's so soft and silky smooth that it makes me want more. Before I place another kiss though, my lovely girl pulls back.
"No," she whispers.
Immediately, I look up searching her eyes for answers. Was I wrong before, judging her attitude as willingness?
Shaking her head, Natsuki clarifies for me.
"Not there."
With the embarrassment spreading from her cheeks onto her whole face and then down low, the meaning of her cryptic words becomes clear to me. I take her hand in mine and place a kiss inside the palm.
"Here, then?" I ask, trying to catch her eyes. Natsuki only shakes her head so I try again, baring her right shoulder and kissing the sensitive skin there. "Here, maybe?"
When she denies once again, I embark on a journey through all accessible parts of her body, kissing wherever I can without disrobing her. And then, when I obstinately pretend not to understand her intentions and she's no longer chuckling but openly laughing at my antics, I pull one of her socks off and kiss the big toe.
"Shizuru!" She admonishes me, poking my shoulder with the said toe.
I feel tempted to kiss her feet over and over again, as if in defiance to her indignation, to elicit countless peals of laughter. So I reach for her foot but she stops me, taking my face in her hands and pulling me close.
"Here," she whispers and gently touches her lips to my own.
The kiss is sweet but short, too short. I pull her in for another one and she follows. Her lips move tentatively, exploring this new territory with great caution but without fear. I can feel my heart soaring in my chest when Natsuki follows my lead and allows deepening the kiss. I am becoming drunk on her, heady with her taste on my lips and tongue.
I tear myself from her mouth and trail lower, discovering the pale column of her neck and she does not forbid me that. She's mine. Wholeheartedly and irrevocably mine.
My Natsuki.
My lovely sacrifice.
My beautiful love.
And I am hers.
The rest - as they say - is history.
-/-/-/-
So if they ever tell you that heaven is the most beautiful place of all, you may want to believe them.
And if they tell you that gods are the happiest creatures of all, it may be worth believing as well.
I am a goddess, I know what it takes.
So what do you think? Was it worth the wait?
If anyone still waits for the update on 30 shekels - I'll get back to that... someday. :P
Happy New Year, girls and boys! May it better that the last one!
Szczęśliwego Nowego Roku! Buon Anno! Masaganang Bagong Taon! Akemashite Omedetou! Selamat Tahun Baru! Shana Tova! :D
See you next year~~