This chapter is dedicated to Lisa, who pointed me in the right direction.
REVIEWS:
Luna Rose and Phoenix Child: Blasted mutt indeed! I'm glad we're on the same page here. All three of us.
Felion: I don't know what it is, but I've never liked Mr. Black. I'll try, but no promises J
Lee Lee Potter: Have I already decided to dedicate a chapter to you? If not, I will. Yes, Severus in protective mode…as a panther no less. You thought he was scary as a human!
Oneofakindwerewolf: Is your name purposely that way? Cuz you can space it out ya know ;) But it is true, my friend…whatever you're referring to.
Ash muse: I love camping…and it wouldn't do for a panther to traipse onto Privet Drive would it? If you read chapter 12, then you saw a pissed off godfather (now uncle). Can't have one of these without Sirius losing his top can ya?
Alecatq: I don't think I'd like someone planning my future for me, but to each his own. And let's face it, Black's not exactly in his right mind at the moment…
Kateri: Another person to whom I shall dedicate a chapter. (all these dedications, hope I have enough chapters). Hey, Ravenclaws are alright. And yes, you are correct, though in the singular tense.
Phoenix Flight: You'll see why he did it here in this chapter.
Lei Dumbledore: You bet it was awesome! It was your chapter!
Little Suzi: Is that a real email address? That's funky…kinda weird…and cool! Snape is the best and most complex character in the Harry Potter realm. As if the penname didn't give it away anyway. And I don't plan on stopping writing anytime soon. Thanks for the praise.
*wipes brow with green hanky* whew! Ok, now on with the chapter!
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An owl swooped in for him the next morning at breakfast. Harry immediately recognized the handwriting and excused himself from the Head Table. Once safely inside his room, he took a deep breath and opened the letter from his godfather. Despite the recent events, Harry knew the man only wanted what was best for him. He thought back to a movie he had overheard the Dursleys watching. Some of the worst things imaginable have been done with the best intentions. He shook off the thought and read the letter.
Harry,
I don't even know where to begin. I can't even begin to fathom why you even speak to him. I understand that you probably aren't happy with me, because I've kept such a big secret from you for these years. Let me explain why. Please, just read, and you'll understand.
Lily's marriage to Snape was something I never approved of. But, if you know anything of your mother, she didn't need anyone's approval. The night after their honeymoon, I caught him sneaking out of the house. So, naturally, I followed my new "brother-in-law" to find out where he was going. In my dog form, I stayed in the shadows. I tracked him to an old flat in London, where I picked up another scent. A particularly female scent. I didn't dare go in, for fear of discovery, but what I heard that night was enough. Severus never truly cared for Lily, he was just using her to create an offspring for the Dark Lord. I heard him say it myself. I believe he and Lucius Malfoy were betting on who could get an heir first. He told Malfoy of all the women he'd slept with, in hopes of at least getting one child. I knew, in that moment, I had to do something, something to spare Lily the torment of the truth.
I talked to Prongs, who had always loved Lily from the moment he saw her, and told him what I'd found. Naturally, he was furious, and agreed to perform the ritual Snape has no doubt told you about. When James confessed his love, I was quick to act. I dismissed Snape, incurring Lily's wrath in the process. I always told myself that I'd rather her hate me than have her heart broken by that monster, and I still hold to that.
I don't know if you will…no, if you can believe me, but I swear upon my life that this is truth. Snape is not the man you think he is. The minute you begin to trust him, he'll turn you over to HIM. I don't know if you could ever forgive me, but I do love you, and only want what's best. Nothing in this world matters more to me than you do, and I will do all in my power to see you safe.
Tell Remus I say hello and things are going well. I'm truly sorry for snapping at you…you did not deserve that. It was my anger at Snape that drove my actions, yet you were the recipient. I'm sorry, Harry.
All my love,
Padfoot aka Uncle Paddy.
PS ~ You were very intelligent as an infant. Your first word was "snitch." Just thought you'd want to know. I love you.
Harry looked up, tears in his eyes. Now he was even more confused than before. He tossed the letter on the floor and placed his head in his hands. Sirius had never lied to him before…well, all right, he had held back the truth. But if it's for the benefit of another, it's alright, isn't it? A knock on his door interrupted his thoughts.
"Enter," he strained, without moving. He didn't look up, but he knew it was Snape that had walked in.
"Are you well, Mr. Potter?"
"Yeah," it was very unconvincing, but he didn't care. He carefully shoved the letter under his bed so Snape wouldn't see it and stood. "I think I'm going to go flying for a while."
"We have lessons to attend." Snape didn't seem too pleased that he was leaving.
"I…I just need to think for a while. Get out and clear my head. Can we postpone it please sir?" He looked up into the obsidian orbs, begging to be left alone. Snape pursed his lips, studying the boy. Something was bothering him.
"Very well. We will meet after dinner." Harry sighed thankfully and nodded.
"Thank you, sir." Harry moved to get his broom, but was stopped by his father's voice, softer than before.
"If there is anything you wish to talk about, I will be in the classroom." Then a little louder, "Covial or not, Lupin will need his potion." Snape smirked and swept out of the room. Harry grabbed the XS and tore out of the castle. He mounted his broom and flew around for hours, thinking about…well, everything.
The more Harry thought about it, the more his godfather made sense. Snape did seem to accept him rather quickly, for a man who supposedly hated him all his life. On the other hand, Snape had always thought he was James Potter's son therefore hated him. For the last four years, Harry had represented the ruination of Snape's life. Finally, Harry could only decide on one option. He had to show the letter to Snape and hear his side of the story. He flew to the top of the Astronomy Tower and watched the sun set. Taking a deep breath, he steeled himself for what was to come. He flew back down and returned his broom to his room, took a quick shower, and trudged to the Great Hall, letter in pocket.
He greeted the professors and took his place between Snape and McGonagall. He carefully devoured everything on his plate, then piled more on.
"Your flight gave you an appetite did it?" Snape's voice in his ear pierced the silence between them, and he merely nodded, chewing on his pot roast. Deciding on a much safer topic, Harry swallowed.
"What are we going to study tonight, Professor?" Snape raised an eyebrow, but made no mention of the abrupt change of subject.
"That all depends on which subject you would like to start with."
"You mean, you're going to tutor me in all my subjects?"
"Except Divination, yes. I, like your friend Miss Granger, did not take it for very long. Now, which subject?"
"Well, with Voldemort back, I think Defense Against the Dark Arts would be beneficial for me."
"Would you like me to ask Professor Covial if he would—"
"No, I-I really don't feel like dealing with him right now."
"Did something happen of which I am not aware?" Snape glanced coldly at the werewolf in disguise, and the little voice in Harry's head that told him Snape was really trying grew louder.
"No, it's just that, he's in contact with Sirius. Besides," his voice softened, "I need to talk." Snape questioned no further and nodded his assent.
"Defense it is." Nothing was said the rest of the meal, and both stood and exited together. Covial watched them the entire way out, then turned to Dumbledore.
"Headmaster?"
"Tutoring sessions, Professor, nothing major. But please don't interrupt them." Covial merely nodded and continued his dinner.
Harry fidgeted nervously all the way to the dungeons. How was he supposed to ask Snape if he really loved his mum, or if he was just using her for Voldemort. That one question could shatter all hopes he had of having a family.
Twit, if he shuns you for asking that, then he really didn't want to be your father in the first place, and you'll have your answer.
Yeah, but I'd get mad for someone even thinking it.
Well, someone already thought it, and Snape hates him anyway, so go for it.
"Mr. Potter?" Snape stared at Harry as they stood in front of the portrait to his chambers. He seemed to be having an internal conversation. I know what those are like. He sighed and waited, and finally Harry seemed to come to a decision. He blushed as he realized Snape was waiting for him.
"Sorry, Professor. Did you ask me something?"
"I was merely waiting to tell you the password to my chambers should you ever need me." He turned back to the portrait, which was of an old wizard who was, to Harry's amusement, brewing potions. Of course, the wizard was so caught up in his potion-making that he completely didn't see the two standing there. Snape cleared his throat and the man looked up, smiling.
"Hello, Severus. And you must be Harry Potter. Yes, Headmaster Dumbledore told me about you." Harry scrunched up his face in confusion, and he could have sworn he heard Snape snicker.
"Harry, this is Nicholas Flamel. Tredecim." Nicholas nodded enthusiastically and opened.
"Hope to be seeing more of you Harry!" the portrait called before the two wizards entered. The room, unlike what he had been expecting, was not in Slytherin green, but scarlet and silver. Harry smiled at the warmth the room conveyed and looked around.
It was a rather large room, easily bigger than the Slytherin common room, and had a large fireplace on the far right. The mahogany mantle that hung above it was trimmed with a long two-headed serpent, one head at each end. In front of the fire was a three-cushion beige couch with red and silver pillows. Next to that was a small table and a plush recliner. A large bookshelf lined the opposite wall, covered in more books than Harry thought Hermione could read in her seven years here. The wall adjacent to the entrance contained a work-station with a small potions lab. A hallway was directly opposite him, past the bookshelf, and he followed Snape there. They stopped at the first door on the left.
"This is my study. If the door is closed, please don't disturb me." Harry nodded and continued with the older wizard. The first door on the right contained a storage room. Snape stopped at the next door on the right and opened it. Harry's breath caught in his throat.
It was a room roughly the size of the Gryffindor common room with a dueling platform in the very center. "This is where we will be studying. As you can see, it is equipped with everything you'll need for your classes." Harry looked around and saw various potions and books. They walked through to another oak door on the far end of the room. They walked through and were bombarded by sounds and smells. Harry looked around and saw all sorts of creatures in various cages.
"For your Care of Magical Creatures and some Defense Against the Dark Arts." Harry recognized some species, but most were foreign to him. They walked back out into the hallway and continued on. The second door on the left was Snape's personal chambers. There was a guest bedroom and a dining hall near the end, which, Snape told Harry, had a door to his study. They had curved around and emerged back in the main room, on the other side, near the fireplace.
"I believe you wished to speak to me?" He took his seat in the chair, something Harry saw was habit, and so he shuffled over to the couch and sat, rather awkwardly. He stared at the fire, entranced, wondering how to start.
"I, uh, don't really know how to start." Brilliant, Harry. Snape merely sat back and watched the boy, not saying anything. Finally, after several minutes of silence, it was clear to Snape what was going on.
"Harry, you don't have to 'beat around the bush,' as it were, with me. Something happened at lunch."
Harry inhaled deeply and began. He pulled out the note from his godfather/uncle and opened it, holding it in his hands. "I got a letter from Sirius today. He wanted to apologize and tell me he loved me." Harry faltered. He couldn't do this! He was so close to having a family, even if his father and uncle hated each other. He couldn't ruin it now! He folded the note back up and sighed. "That's it. I guess it irked me more than I thought it would. But the fly cleared my head. Well, let's go." He started up off the couch, but Snape didn't move. He bore his dark eyes into Harry's, sizing him up.
"If that is all, I wish to talk to you. Please," he gestured back to the couch, which Harry trudged over to and sat down. "I wish to discuss the events in the Headmaster's office a few days ago. Actually, two things. One was, why were you so disappointed in being chosen as a prefect? It's a great honor for anyone."
"But I'm not anyone!" he burst. He hadn't really meant to yell, but it just kind of came out. He settled down and looked down at his hands. "I mean, knowing everyone, I was probably chosen as a prefect the night they left me on the Dursleys' doorstep. I'll probably be Head Boy too, and Quidditch Captain, and everything else that everyone expects from the great Harry Potter." His rant finished, he sat back, sighing.
"Well, that was…expected. I was wondering when you were going to vent." Harry looked up at the man questioningly. "Since that day, I knew what was wrong, and if you remember, tried to broach the subject." Snape raised his eyebrows, and Harry blushed slightly. "Harry, if there is one thing above all things I know of Minerva McGonagall, she is meticulous. She would not have given you this responsibility if she did not think you earned it and could handle it. Likewise, the Headmaster would not have supported the idea if he did not believe the same. I believe your friend, Miss Granger, is the other prefect." Harry beamed at this. If anyone deserved it, she did. She tried so hard to keep everyone in line, she was, by far, the best student in their year, and she was the most responsible person Harry knew. Probably had all her summer homework done by now.
"Sir, who are the Slytherin fifth-year prefects?"
"Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini. We just couldn't bear to give the honor to Miss Parkinson or Miss Bulstrode." Harry cringed, but was thankful. Both girls were rather ignorant and absent-minded at times. "I believe Katie Bell is the Head Girl and Damon Sonati the Head Boy."
"Well, I guess we shouldn't make Katie captain then. And Damon's a Ravenclaw right?" Snape nodded and Harry smiled.
"The other thing I wished to discuss with you was the entire Sorting Hat incident." Harry sunk lower into the couch. He knew it, Snape didn't want him in his house. "Now, while you would be a grand addition to our Quidditch team and house, I do not want you changing houses simply because of me. I will not permit you to transfer into my house until you completely think this through. I want you to come here because you want to, not because you think that's what I want. Because it's not. I don't want you to be miserable away from your friends just because this new fact has come to light. You know, the hat knew of your lineage before you or I did, so when it put you in Gryffindor, it didn't do so because of James Potter, it did so because that's who you are. Because that is the house you belong in." Snape sat back, watching his son's face for any sign. Finally, after contemplating it all, he smiled.
"I don't think I want to be in Slytherin. I'm a Gryffindor. Besides, I wouldn't want to sleep next to Malfoy for two years." He fake-shuddered and grimaced at the thought. Snape raised his eyebrow and smirked.
"Now that that's out of the way, how about we start in on your lessons." Snape made to get up, but was stopped by Harry's voice.
"Wait," he sighed. Snape sat back down and waited as he was told. "I have a question to ask you." Snape noticed the parchment that was the letter from Black clutched in the boy's hand.