"Wait," he sighed. Snape sat back down and waited as he was told. "I have a question to ask you." Snape noticed the parchment that was the letter from Black clutched in the boy's hand.
Harry took a deep breath and braced himself for the consequences. Snape merely sat there, watching the inner struggle take place, wondering what could be so nerve-wracking. Finally, he spoke.
"The letter I got from Sirius…he explains why he was so mad with you. He wasn't mad at me, and he apologized and told me he loved me." Harry choked on his words, but continued. "He also explained…why he did what he did." Great Harry, could you be a little more cryptic? But Snape understood immediately, and his eyes flashed with an unspoken hatred. Harry cringed down, swallowed, and pressed on.
"He says some pretty…drastic things, and I wanted to talk to you before I'll believe him." There, he'd said it, and now Snape looked as if he were ready to maim the nearest living thing. To his credit, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and spoke in a calm voice.
"May I see the letter?" Harry tightened his grip, but realized he wouldn't be able to tell Snape what was in it, so he offered the parchment to the wizard with a slightly shaking hand. Harry sat in an extremely uncomfortable silence as Snape read the letter. He leaned his head back on the couch and closed his eyes, trying to slow his breathing.
"Harry?" the voice was small and quiet, and Harry almost believed he had imagined it, but he looked up anyway. Snape had moved over to the couch and was holding out the letter.
"Sir?"
"It is your letter, you should keep it." Harry stared at the man as if he'd just grown two heads. He wasn't even the least bit upset? That could only mean…
He snatched the letter and jumped up off the couch. He moved to storm out when a hand snaked out and latched onto his wrist, pulling him back down on the couch.
"You said you wanted to talk to me before you believed him, so let's talk." Harry looked up at the man incredulously. Was he serious?
Wait, he wants to talk, so talk Harry. It's why you came in the first place. What if you're wrong?
What if I'm not? What if he was just using Mum for Voldemort?
Dumbledore trusts him, always has.
Dumbledore is a trusting man, he trusts until you give him a reason not to. He probably doesn't know about this.
Dumbledore not know? Are you kidding me? Let the man talk.
Harry sighed and nodded, turning on the couch to face the man. Snape, seeing the battle was over, sighed as well and ran a hand over his face.
"Harry, I know your godfather means well, and it's no secret he's never liked me. Hell, the feeling is quite mutual. But that doesn't excuse his behavior, nor does this apology endear him to me. As for his little spy session, I have a few things to say in my defense." Harry nodded.
"That's why I came; to hear your side. I didn't think it was very fair to judge you on his word."
"Smart lad. Though you are not suppose to, you no doubt know of my position in Voldemort's circle." Harry shrugged.
"Uh, all I know is your loyal to Dumbledore."
"Too true, Harry. I am a spy for the Light Side, against Voldemort and his followers. However, you can imagine what would happen if they found out." Harry swallowed audibly, thinking about the pain of the Cruciatus curse. He closed his eyes, willing the screams of pain out of his head. He was shaken from his thoughts by Snape's hand on his shoulder.
"Are you alright?"
"Sorry, I guess…nevermind, go on." Snape eyed him suspiciously, but continued, noting to address that topic on a later date.
"I've been a spy for a very long time, even before that night in Godric's Hollow. And before you become angry, you must know that Voldemort never tells us when and where we will be attacking until the night of. There was no way to escape and warn Lily and Potter. But that is not relevant to this letter. In order to keep up my place as a spy, I had to convince them that I was loyal to no one but Voldemort. Can you understand what that might entail?"
"You'd have to lie to the Death Eaters. So that explains your conversation with Malfoy. But what about—?" Snape held up a hand.
"That night, I didn't sneak off, as your uncle suggests, but I told Lily where I was going, and went to London to meet with Lucius, upon his request. Little did I know what I was walking into. We talked that night, and he told me of all his 'conquests' as he put it. Of course, I had to lie and tell him the same, something that still pains me today. I had to lie about the only woman I've ever loved. Naturally, this pleased him a great deal and he brought out a woman, I don't know if she was a Muggle or a witch. He said we were to 'have a go' at her. Judging from this letter, that is all your godfather heard before he rushed to Potter to tell him."
"There's more?" Harry asked incredulously.
"Just the ending," Snape replied. "I walked out as Lucius tortured the poor girl, then, when it was my turn, I let her escape. I then wiped Lucius' memory of the event and left. When I returned home, I told Lily everything. I assume that was the night you were conceived."
"Oh, I didn't need to hear that!" Harry shouted. Snape smirked and looked down at the boy. He seemed more relaxed than he had been, a good sign. "So, about those lessons." Harry jumped up and stuffed the letter in his pocket. At Snape's look, he shrugged. "I'll write him a letter later. Don't worry, I won't reveal any information about you." Snape nodded and stood as well. They walked into the classroom, and Harry jumped up on the dueling platform.
"What are we doing first?" he asked. Snape noted the abrupt change in the boy.
He was probably worried sick that you were just some no good Death Eater that used his mother. What did you expect?
He should have known better than that. I loved Lily.
Yes, but look how you've treated him the last four years.
Can you blame me? Until a few days ago, he was James Potter's son.
But he's not, and now he knows the important things. You loved Lily, of that he's sure.
Snape snapped out of his reverie to find Harry staring at him, eyebrows raised.
"Yes?"
"Just wondering if you were finished arguing with yourself."
"Of course, now we will start with dueling. You are pretty good with minor curses, such as rictusempra, however, we will work on shielding curses and spells. Have you learned ferito yet?" Harry thought about telling him of the book he'd read, but decided against it and shook his head. "I thought not. Now, this is a force spell, and is meant for repelling your enemy away from you. Unskilled Death Eaters often find it necessary to charge their opponents to win." They bowed to each other, "Now, cast the ferito curse at me," they lowered their wands, turned and paced away. Five paces later, Harry turned and yelled.
"Ferito!" A yellow ball sped toward Snape at a high speed.
"Sparsum!" The yellow ball hit some sort of shield and dissipated around it. Harry chuckled, and tried another, from the book he'd read.
"Perverti!" A beam shot from his wand and made straight for Snape's legs. Harry thought he saw shock on the potions master face before he thought of a shield.
"Referio!" The beam bounced off the shield and sailed back towards Harry's legs. He did the only thing he could think of. Just before it hit him, he jumped as high as he could. While he was in the air, Snape cast another curse, without thinking.
"Aculeatus!" Harry landed on his feet in time to see a green light headed toward him. He froze, his mind flashing back fourteen years.
"Take Harry and go!"
"No! James!"
Harry dropped to the ground, subsequently dodging the spell, and clutched his head. At first, Snape thought he had hit him, and quickly ended the spell. But then he realized something was definitely wrong. He ran over and placed his hand on Harry's shoulder. The most blood-curdling scream rose out of the boy, and suddenly Snape was thankful for the silencing charms on his chambers.
If I didn't hit the boy, why is he in pain! Snape's mind screamed. Then, Harry fell back, clutching his knees to his chest.
"No, Mum! Dad!" And it clicked. The green light, the scream…he was flashing back. Harry looked up, but his eyes were glazed over, proving that he was stuck in the past. "You killed them." Snape's eyes widened; the boy thought he was Voldemort. He stood quickly and pulled out his wand, pointing it at himself.
"Invincio," he whispered, and put his wand away. Snape saw that Harry had dropped his wand, and hopefully didn't have the presence of mind to grab it. Harry charged him, throwing punches and kicks at "Voldemort." Snape, now impervious to physical attacks, stood back and let the boy get out fourteen years of pent up aggression. When Harry had tired himself out, he collapsed, hands around his knees and head down.
"Mum…Dad…no…" he whispered over and over. Snape stood over the boy, clearly out of his element. Merlin, what do I do? What would Albus do? That seemed to be a pertinent question, as Albus was really the only father he himself had known. Snape knelt down next to the drained teen and placed a hand on his back.
"Harry?" Harry looked up, red-faced, into Snape's eyes, and for the first time since Harry had met him, his eyes were filled with concern and worry; no mask, no hatred, no sneer. Harry replaced his head on his knees and began to cry silently, he hated to show his weakness.
And Snape, despite his nasty reputation, despite all his years of isolating himself from everyone, hating all who came near him, gathered the boy in his arms and let him cry.