Ok, I've decided to make this H/Hr, but it's not going to be anything major. Just subtle hints. I'm sorry if this isn't what some people want, but my other fic "The Last Sorcerer" is R/Hr, and I thought I'd try another pairing. Any suggestions for Ron? I was thinking either Cho or Padma Patil, as one of my fans has requested their presence in this fic.
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It had been almost two weeks since that night, and Harry had avoided Snape like the plague. He hated appearing weak, especially in front of Snape, and Snape had seen him at his worst. How could he even look the man in the eye without thinking how he'd humiliated himself?
Harry spent most of his time in his room, only coming out for meals, and then shielding himself with Remus and Trelawney. Yes, even the old bat had come in handy, as Snape wouldn't even go near her. Subsequently, he'd finished all his homework and even got a jump-start on Divination for next year. Snape never stayed at dinner long, getting away from social activity as much as possible.
Harry bid goodbye to the professors and walked out of the hall. He barely saw the figure out of the corner of his eye, or the spell cast in his direction. The last thing he saw was a large looming figure walking towards him, then nothingness.
He awoke with a start in a familiar scene, with the potions master staring at him intently from the chair. He sat up on the couch and rubbed his face, knowing he was in for it now.
"So, Mr. Potter, think you can avoid me forever?"
"No sir," it was mumbled, but Snape still caught it.
"Then why have you been trying your damnedest to steer clear of me?"
"You wouldn't understand," Harry countered, practically yelling. Snape slapped his knee and jumped out of his chair. He strode four feet and sat rather forcefully next to the boy.
"Then make me understand!" he returned, increasing his volume. "Why have you been avoiding me?" Harry stood and walked over to the fire, stuffing his hands into his robe pockets and staring intently at the flames.
"I think we've had this conversation before. That, or the same point defines my entire existence. I'm Harry Potter, I can't be weak. Everyone looks to me to save the world; they think I'm perfect. I can't let them all down. And before," he motioned in the direction of the dueling room, "I…I…"
"You showed that you were human?"
"No! I showed weakness! I can't do that! People expect too much of me! I'm the one who is to defeat Voldemort! How can I do that if I'm crying like a baby every time my parents are mentioned?" Snape stood and walked over to the boy.
"Have you ever let yourself grieve over them, before that night?" Snape asked softly. Harry stared up at the man. This was not the stingy potions master he'd known for four years; this was a completely different person. Harry merely shook his head slightly, indicating the negative.
"Not like I knew them enough anyway," he said half-heartedly. Snape laid his hand firmly on the boy's thin shoulder.
"It doesn't matter how long you knew them, Harry, what matters is they loved you and you loved them. That's reason enough to grieve."
A knock interrupted them, and Snape walked to let whoever it was in. Harry stood a little straighter as the Headmaster entered.
"Harry, I was wondering where you'd gotten off to," he said cheerfully.
"Actually, Professor Snape kidnapped me," he scoffed. Snape leveled a mirthful sneer at him, and Dumbledore smiled. "Sorry, Headmaster."
"No need, Harry. Actually, I just wanted to give you your prefect duties to look over. And ask you what you wanted for your birthday. As I understand it, it's in a few weeks?" Harry nodded absently; he had forgotten his own birthday.
"There's no need to get me anything, Headmaster. It's not like it would be different from any other birthday." This was not a degrading remark, merely a statement of fact, but Snape's face fell anyway. No one noticed, thankfully, and his mask shot back up. The Headmaster, however, seemed offended.
"No, no, no, dear boy! You will have a proper birthday party with friends and presents and such! Now, what would you like from the staff?" Harry smiled, thankful that the Headmaster was not purchasing him a gift personally, but from the entire staff. Still, he didn't much like the special treatment; but he didn't really see a way out of this one, so he shrugged.
"Not sure, really. I mean, Herms usually gets me a book of some kind, and Ron sends me candy and food to avoid Aunt Petunia's diet plan."
Snape scoffed, "Diet plan? You're skinny enough as is."
"Yes, but you haven't met Dudley, my cousin. He got a note from his school telling my relatives that he needed to go on a diet, as he's about the size of a small killer whale, so Aunt Petunia put the whole family on it."
"A small killer whale?" Dumbledore asked.
"Well, that's probably giving him too much credit, but yeah. Oh! I need to write Ron and Herms! They don't know I'm here!" He looked at the two wizards expectantly, and Dumbledore smiled.
"Go ahead, but don't forget to come up with something for your birthday." He nodded to Severus and left. The man in black turned back to his son.
"You may use my study and owl if you wish." He gestured back to the hallway, and Harry graced him with a smile so reminiscent of Lily, Severus had to look to the fire. Harry was confused for a moment, but walked back to the study, leaving the door open, in case Snape needed anything.
He sat down and looked around at the items on the desk, which weren't many. The orb that had held his mother's message was there, sitting as the center piece of the desk. Harry had to resist the urge to dig through and look around, and merely looked at the other contents. A small magical calendar showed the date, and a small sterling silver snake sat on the corner. He stared, confused, at the desk.
"Parchment, ink, and quill are in the top left drawer," came his father's silky voice, from behind him. Harry jumped in his seat, and was treated to his father's chuckle. Harry turned and glared at him.
"Don't do that!" He caught his breath, remembering the entrance from the dining hall. He opened the indicated drawer and pulled out parchment, ink, and an older quill. He didn't figure his father would take to him using his good quill. He set everything up and got as far as "Dear Ron" before he was stumped.
"What do I tell them?" he asked, knowing the man was still looming over him. Snape drew and flicked his wand, and a plush reading chair moved over next to the boy. The man sunk down into it, thinking.
"How about the truth?"
"You do realize what Ron would say, right?" Harry looked up, eyebrows raised.
"Well, then, you'll just have to discreetly leave out that particular piece of knowledge. Until Voldemort is defeated, not many can know of our relationship. It would be too dangerous for you, and me, as you so eloquently pointed out a few weeks ago."
"Right then," he scrawled out a hasty greeting, let Ron know
he was at Hogwarts because he was safer there (that really wasn't a lie) and
that he could send Hedwig back. After
asking Snape, he included an invite for him and all the Weasleys to his
birthday party on the 31st at
Hermione's was a little more difficult. Ever since that kiss on the cheek at King's Cross, Harry had been really confused. He'd thought she was going with Krum. He included her invite as well, along with Krum's (though he secretly prayed he wouldn't show). This letter was shorter, but Snape did not miss the "Love, Harry" at the end, something which was not on the other. Seeing that he was done, Snape whistled once, and a large, dark eagle owl flew in the open door moments later.
"Harry, this is
"Hello
"Sorry, guess I'm more tired that I thought." They exited the study after Harry had put everything away where he'd found it and Snape replaced the chair.
"Harry, I'm sorry for knocking you out," Snape started, but Harry shook his head.
"No, Professor, I should apologize for avoiding you. But, I did finish all my homework and got a head-start on Divination."
"Speaking of head-starts, do you wish to start our sessions again?" Harry nodded, and Snape sighed inwardly.
"Sure, but can we start tomorrow? I got up early this morning to complete my Transfiguration essay, and I'm beat." Harry shuffled to the portrait hole.
"Of course. Goodnight, Harry, I will see you at
breakfast." Snape opened the portrait
and Harry shambled out the hole and to his room, waving his goodbye during
another yawn.