Author: Lucinda
Rated T, similar to the books
Set during the year of the Tri-Wizard, err, Quad-Wizard Tournament.
I do not own anything or anyone from Harry Potter. I don't own the Creature either.
..hp..np..CoMC...CoMC..
"Good t' see all of you this morning," Professor Hagrid called to the class that combined the sixth and seventh year N.E.W.T. preparatory Care of Magical Creatures class. It had been decided that combining those years would let him have the dangerous creatures in and out more quickly than if he had to keep them for two separate groups, and he would just use an alternating two year plan for the advanced level. The rest of the faculty hoped that this lesson plan would reduce the numbers of students injured by Hagrid's beasties.
A general mumble emerged in response as the students looked around. They were assembled for class, with books, and scrolls and quills for taking notes, and several people had their dragon-hide gloves just in case. Several of the students thought that Hagrid was trying to kill them with his creatures. Others just thought that he had a shaky idea about what was 'dangerous' and what was 'cuddly.'
"Maybe we could have a class on flying horses, like the ones that the Beauxbatons students had pulling their carriage?" asked one of the girls, glancing at her boyfriend.
"He had hippogryffs out for the third years, Sarah. Big, pretty, palominos with wings probably aren't lethal enough for him," mumbled the seventh year carrying the girl's books.
Marcus Flint glanced across the clearing at Oliver Wood, his favorite Quidditch rival, the only one who took the game as seriously as he did, though Oliver was generally better liked by the rest of the school. Both of them were giving suspicious looks to the boxy shape covered with a sheet, standing as high as Hagrid's waist and slightly longer than a regulation racing broom. On Hagrid's other side was a similarly sized box-cage, holding a Blast-Ended Skrewt, in size taller than the girls' knees but not to their hips, currently nudging half a head of cabbage. The box holding the Skrewt wasn't covered.
"Now today, I've got somethin' special for all of ya t' see," Hagrid's voice sounded quite pleased. "Of course, Carrie is dangerous and a mite temperamental, so none of you ought ta be handlin' her. I've only got her here for the one day, on account of the information might be on your written N.E.W.T. exams."
The class froze as Hagrid described today's creature as 'dangerous and a mite temperamental'. This was the man who showed hippogryffs around thirteen year olds, the person who wanted a pet dragon, the person that rumors alleged might have had any number of terrible beasts from chimera to giant bears to sea serpents to mutated spiders to griffons as pets.
"What does Hagrid call dangerous?" someone murmured.
"A b-basilisk?" a boy's voice stammered.
"No, that'd be too big for the covered cage." The suggestion was countered quickly.
"Same with any adult dragon then – too big for the cage." One of the boys mused.
"Do you think he brought in a Nundu? One of those might fit in that cage," Nyota Clagg offered, fidgeting with her blue tie. "It takes a hundred wizards to subdue one in the wild, you know."
"That sounds like something Hagrid would like," grumbled a student.
"What about an Acromantula?" offered Igraine Talbot. "Okay, a young one, not a full grown, big as Hagrid sized Acromantula. Just a half grown giant, carnivorous spider."
"Aren't those tropical creatures? The book says they live in Borneo," Countered Tertius Veii.
"Maybe it's a Cerebrus?" Sarah offered.
"He's got to be the person who found that one back three years ago," Marcus Flint paused, looking at the covered box. "But that box isn't big enough for that dog."
"I present t' all of you the Tyrannolagomorpha. Her name is Carrie," Hagrid beamed as he pulled the cover from the cage, revealing the dangerous beast within.
It was a fluffy white bunny, with dark reddish eyes. Its pink nose wiggled as it peered at them from between the inch thick metal bars.
Reactions were instantaneous. Most of the girls made a noise best described as 'awwwww' as another sound emerged from most of the boys, best described as 'huuhh?' From the back of the class, a voice rose up, "But it's just a rabbit!"
"Just a rabbit? Carrie here is a Tyrannolagomorpha, rated as a level four or five magical threat in most European nations. They've been known t' kill trained wizards, though with great caution they can be domesticated. It happens that they aren't too forgiving of rough handling and they tend to bite." Hagrid looked at the assembled and now confused students.
"..but it's a fluffy bunny."
"I can see that I'm goin' t' have to show you a bit more. I hope that this doesn't upset those of you who have delicate sensibilities," Hagrid produced a pair massive dragon-hide gloves and put them on his hands while looking at the students. "Flint, can you open up the top o' the cage with the Skrewt, while I get Carrie here out of her cage?"
Marcus Flint opened the other cage, glaring at the Blast-Ended Skrewt. Those wretched things had been terrorizing the various Care of Magical Creatures classes for a while, with hard shells, pointy claw feet, nasty bites that only got worse as they grew, and venomous stinging tails. "Sir?"
Hagrid reached into the cage, lifting the fluffy white creature. As he lifted the Tyrannolagomorpha, it became apparent that she was larger than a normal rabbit, neatly filling Hagrid's large hand. With one gloved hand, he petted along the bunny's spine, causing it to make a soft noise. "Don't frighten this lethal lady."
The class watched in confusion and growing dismay as Hagrid carried the fluffy creature towards the cage with the vicious Blast-Ended Skrewt. "Observe carefully when I put these two into the same cage."
"Nooo…." Several girls protested as Hagrid gently placed the fluffy bunny-like creature into the cage with the Skrewt, closing the lid and bolting it shut.
The class expected, with varying levels of fear and dread and perhaps a few with glee, to see blood, violence, mayhem and flying bits of fur as the Skrewt attacked and destroyed the poor, fluffy bunny.
"Ummm… is that Skrewt trying to back away from the bunny?" emerged in a puzzled voice from one of the students.
To the bafflement of the students, the vicious Skrewt was indeed attempting to back away from the bunny that was barely half as tall, and perhaps a quarter of its body mass. The Skrewt was also making a high-pitched whimpering noise.
The Tyrannolagomorpha raised onto her back legs, pink nose wiggling as she sniffed the interior of the new cage. The ears twitched around, for a few moments both focused towards the now cowering Skrewt. The bunny made a soft cooing noise. After a few moments of balance, the ears folded back, and the jaw parted revealing a vast number of very sharp teeth, and she pounced on the Skrewt.
There was violence. There were an assortment of loud squeals and thumping noises from inside the cage. Several loud cracking noises were heard. Bodily fluids splashed the walls of the cage. A few wisps of white fluff drifted through the air.
When the noise had settled, the Tyrranolagomorpha could be seen gnawing on the thorax of the still-twitching Skrewt, with a few minor scrapes and missing a couple patches of fur. Another Skrewt leg was in the corner of the cage, and several seemed to have vanished completely.
"As you can see, the Tyrrannolagomorpha differ from their cousins in that they are omnivores. Most will eat just about anything, though they might hesitate by the time the anything gets to be my size or bigger. Unless they're very angry, very hungry, or protecting a litter of babies," Hagrid's words couldn't cause them to look away from the horrific spectacle in the cage as the fluffy bunny continued to gnaw on the remains of the Skrewt.
"As you can see, Carrie has a liking for seafood."
"…the bunny's eating the Skrewt…"
"It's a killer rabbit. Like from Monty Python," insisted muggle-born Nigel Wilkins.
"There was a feral Tyrannolagomorpha that got loose in Wales about thirty years ago. It caused more than a few problems before a large group of Beast Handlers and Hit Wizards managed to get it back under control. There's a good chance that the Obliviators missed a few witnesses," Hagrid replied, ignoring the fact that Nigel didn't actually seem to be talking to anyone in specific.
"Scary bunny," Sarah whispered. "It doesn't look as cute now."
"Based purely on their abilities, they should be rated as a level four dangerous beast. But because they look so cute and fluffy, most people think that they're just a harmless little bunny. By the time they realize that the bunny's not so harmless, they've already lost an arm or a leg. That's why some people are arguing for the level five threat rating for them," Hagrid paused for a few moments to watch the fluffy creature crack open the Skrewt leg and devour the insides. "They are an endangered species, though few laws have been passed to offer them additional protections."
"It's eating a Skrewt. How much protection does it actually need?" Marcus asked.
Nobody wanted to pet the bunny anymore.
End Pottery Shard: Hagrid's Bunny.