Author: Lucinda

Rated t for teen

Main characters: Arthur Weasley and Alistair Moody

Contains mention of assorted adult-generation HP canon pairings, mostly Arthur/Molly.

Disclaimer: If you recognize them, they do not belong to me. All recognizable HP characters belong to JK Rowling.

Distribution: as with other Pottery Shards.

Notes: set BEFORE the first defeat of Voldemort. Harry Potter has not yet been born. Prompted by a few things… canon fact: Arthur and Molly have produced an exceptionally large brood of children. Canon fact: Arthur works with and is fascinated by muggle things. Fact: there has been vast amounts of fan speculation about wizarding Britain's sexual mores and habits, often in less than complimentary fashions.

…..

Arthur Weasley looked up from his desk when he felt the magic wash over him. Someone was casting spells in his office! The intended protest died as he found himself blinking at Auror Alistair Moody, in full, official robes, casting another privacy spell over the office. After that spell, a gesture with his wand caused the door to close with the particular squishing noise of a locking spell.

Trying to remain calm, Arthur hoped that his voice didn't quaver as he asked, "Is there something I can help you with, Auror Moody?"

"Have you heard the rumors about the recent arrests?" Moody's original eye was focused on Arthur as the other spun around, trying to watch everything at one. His wand was twitching, flicking between aiming at Arthur and back at the door.

"There have been quite a few rumors," Arthur hedged. "It can be difficult to sort out the truth from the half truths, embellishments, and fabrications."

"That's true enough. What have you gathered from them?" Moody still hadn't settled into the single chair for visitors, or put his wand away.

Arthur found himself wondering just what the Auror called Mad-Eye Moody was doing in his office. He was certain that he hadn't done anything… well, nothing that serious. The car was a bit of harmless tinkering. "Something about illegal potions, and allegations of wealthy and influential people using them. But I'm really not certain what sort of potions, or why, or just who was supposed to be using them or not…"

"Dark fertility potions." Moody's voice was a bit of a growl.

"Oh." Arthur didn't know what to say. The idea that the illegal potions were fertility potions gave him a very clear and unhappy idea why Moody was in his office. After all, few magical couples had more than two children, once in a while three. He and Molly had been married for fourteen years and Molly had delivered twin boys this spring, giving them five adorable little red-headed children. "I'm not certain I want to know how a fertility potion could be considered dark."

"Partly because it can damage the witch's magic if she conceives because of it, and partly because of the muggle ingredients. There has been questioning, and follow up investigations on all of the names uncovered, but another avenue being followed is the magical census. You having five magical sons…" Moody shook his head. "Damn right a few people want to take a look."

"Having non-magical ingredients makes a potion dark?" Arthur's eyebrows tried to become one with his hairline.

"Having parts of muggles as ingredients makes a potion dark," Moody corrected.

Arthur took a breath and mentally counted to twenty before saying, "I offer you my oath of honor as a Weasley, as a wizard that I have not used any dark potions, spells or rituals to affect the fertility of myself or Molly. I am not aware of anyone else affecting either of our fertility since our wedding."

"Since?" Moody's eyebrow lifted.

"Her father was in the habit of casting chastity charms on her during our courtship. To the best of my knowledge, anything Molly may have done is also completely legal," Arthur sighed.

"Then how do you explain such a large family?" Moody demanded.

"Proprietary family spells?" the words came out sounding hopeful rather than certain, and Arthur winced.

"I don't believe that," Moody frowned.

"Would you believe that I want people to believe that?" Arthur offered.

"That much, yes." Moody scowled, then shook his head. "Explain it to me, Weasley."

"I assume that you are aware of the traditional instructions and views towards sex, as practiced by most old magical families?" Arthur began.

"Where the wizard goes to his wife, performs his duty to the family while she lays back and reminds herself of duty and the family name, and they try to do that at least once a month until he gets a son?" Moody shook his head, following that with a muttered, "Bunch of stupid, nonsense from idiots who'd be helpless without wands and instructions…"

Moody's mutter was quiet, but not quiet enough to escape the ears of a worried father of three mobile and mischievous boys, with two infants in the house as well. Arthur nodded, "That would be the commonly held practices. Practices that the Malfoys, the Yaxleys, the Lestranges, the Blacks and the Ranmoores have used for generations and see no reason to change."

"My wife cured me of any adherence to those traditions that I would ever have been considering," Moody muttered.

"I wasn't aware that you were married," Arthur blinked.

"That's deliberate. I have enemies, her family has enemies, and there are too many people who'd strike at her or the children to let them be publicly known as Moodys." Moody then scowled, "And if anyone finds out because of you…"

"Auror Moody, I have no intention of ever discussing your personal life." Arthur promised.

"Fair enough. Now, explain your family." Moody's wand was twitching again.

"You know what this department does," Arthur began. "And I assume you also know that it isn't uncommon for certain muggle-crafted items of negligible value to be taken into magical keeping instead of being disenchanted."

"Regulations permit it if the value is less than two galleons, or if appropriate compensation is arranged," Moody nodded. "How does that explain anything?"

"In my first year out repairing problems, I kept a charmed book. A senile wizard had wandered into a muggle bookstore and started charming all the books so that their illustrations moved, like in wizarding books. I removed the spells on most of them, repaired the broken shelves, and gave the carpet several thorough cleaning spells, so I felt that keeping one still-charmed book was minor enough," Arthur explained.

"You kept a muggle book? How in the name of magic does one muggle book, even one that's had the illustrations animated explain your large family?" Moody demanded.

Arthur could feel himself turning red as he opened the drawer, "I don't leave it at home anymore. Bill has a gift for unlocking charms, and he's much too young to find this book. I plan to give all my boys a similar copy when they get married."

He looked at the corner of his desk as he settled the book on the top, beside his cup of ever-full quills. The naked woman on the cover of 'the Illustrated Joy of Sex' waved at Moody.

Both of Moody's eyes focused on the book. There were several long moments of silence.

"Molly didn't mind me bringing my work home with me on that occasion." Arthur mumbled.

"That… that would explain it." Moody shook his head, a rusty, rattling noise emerging.

Arthur realized that Moody was laughing. "There are certain families that I don't think need this sort of information. And my boys are much too young."

"I'll agree to both parts of that," Moody was still chuckling. "Now, put your book away. Offer me that promise from earlier while holding a truth-stone, and we'll both call this investigation finished."

"Fair enough," Arthur held out his hand.

Moody pulled a truth-stone form his pocket. The small stone looked like a walnut-sized cloudy river-quartz, but it had been enchanted to glow different colors for truthful or lying statements. He handed the stone to Arthur, "Your statements, if you please."

Arthur nodded, familiar with this part of the proceedings. It was, after all, a standard Ministry procedure. "To establish the baseline – I do know that some enchanters use different colors than the normal blue and red. My grandfather has a truth-stone that glows yellow for truth and black for lies."

Arthur picked up the stone, letting it sit in the palm of his hand.

"My name is Arthur Weasley. I work in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Department of the British Ministry of Magic." Arthur nodded as the stone glowed blue. "And now for the deliberate lie…"

"I have a Veela girlfriend." The stone flashed red.

"Amusing," Moody shook his head. "You have no idea how often that one gets used to establish the baseline."

Arthur chuckled. "I can guess it would be popular. Right," he paused, watching as the red glow faded and the stone returned to the neutral milky color.

"I have never used any dark potions, rituals or spells to affect my fertility, the fertility of my wife Molly, or anyone else. To the best of my knowledge, my wife Molly has not used any dark potions, rituals, or spells to affect anyone's fertility." As he began to speak again, the stone glowed blue.

"Good," Moody held out his hand for the truth-stone.

"And I have no intention of ever telling anyone anything about the personal life of Auror Alistair Moody," Arthur finished. The stone remained a pleasant blue.

"And thank you," Moody took the truth-stone.

Arthur tucked his book back into the drawer, using both a locking spell and a disillusionment spell on the drawer itself.

Auror Moody removed his spells with a wave of his wand, and stomped his way out of the office.

Arthur Weasley sighed, "The day can only get better…"

End Pottery Shard: Why Are There So Many Weasleys?