Bella's secret lover pov:

As soon as he saw her, he felt his lungs open up. She was alive…. She was alive and she wasn't…she wasn't dead. Not red or golden eyes and no sparkles.

He felt Emily put a comforting hand on his.

"hey you ok?"

"huh? oh yeah. I'm good. I'm good."

He quickly pulled from away from Emily and ignored the hurt in her eyes.

The only eyes he wanted to see where Bella swan's big brown ones. In truth he wasn't angry at her for leaving, it was just the destination. The Italian drinkers could have killed her and yet…yet she risked her life for a man that didn't deserve her. Even all the pain Edward had caused her, just leaving her in the woods all alone, close to death. Leaving her to rot and taking his family with him. it made his wolf growl. All the pain she went through while the cold one was gone. And the times, she would come out of that shell and smile. It was rare but when she did, it was like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. he lived to see her smile, and when it went through, he pack mind that she had left with the pixie, he felt his heart stop. Had he not been enough? no. Hadn't he treated her fairly like she wanted? Yes. No? dammit he didn't know; he wasn't good at emotions. Processing them, feeling them. He had to be grateful to Seth because that kid had the patience of a Buddhist monk and deep down, he felt for the kid. Living in a house with harry and sue, two tribal elders and from one of the wealthier families on the res. He knew it wasn't easy and then there was Leah.

That girl was full of fire and bitterness, and with both of them beingly newly phased wolves the family dinners had to be explosive and with harry having a heart attack when they phased, he knew they blamed themselves specially with Seth being the first to phase between the two of them but what truly caused the heart attack was seeing Leah phase. However, Seth took the burden. He blamed himself, I mean how many fourteen-year old's phase in their living room? And don't get him started the tension between Seth and sue. Seth was never disrespectful but ever since his phase, he had grown a backbone, quite the opposite of what happens when you join the pack. Normally, one would become angrier than normal yes, but you also submitted to your alpha and became…one with the pack. They were your family. your brothers and sisters. Everything that mattered to the pack, now mattered to that new wolf. His thoughts were interrupted when he heard her.

She hadn't said anything, but her body language had changed. Her once relax demeanor had gone from uncomfortable to just plain anxious. No one saw it because they had all fallen deaf to anything but chief black. Emily was scribbling in her notebook, every word she could catch, while quill had leaned in on his elbows. Everyone else was just attentive. Good, because him getting up wouldn't be a distraction. He simply stood up and walked toward the black's house. He knew what would help her relax.

Soon his mind began to drown in their memories.

Flashback:

"are you…ok?" he asked as she sat on the edge of the cliff. She had been sitting there for hours, it was raining and yet she hadn't moved. The rain had been going for a while and he knew she should have hypothermia by now.

"…I…I hear his voice and I see his face. It haunts me but…but I can't tell anyone about it. I mean how would that sound? Hey dad, I'm seeing hallucinations about my vampire ex and I like it. it's the only thing that reminds me that he actually existed. doesn't that make me insane?"

"no." he answered. "no, it makes you someone who is…grieving. You ever heard the five stages of grief? Seems like you're on stage 4: depression. Hey …why don't we get out of this rain. Don't you normally hang with Jacob and his followers?"

She shrugged.

"I…I didn't feel like being a burden to him. He, quill and Embry, they always so happy, I always feel like I'm raining on their parade. Besides he doesn't even know I'm down here. Sometimes people need a break from me. I can be…intense."

''Well, …. The least you can do is be intense inside away from the rain. My …house…its all the way down the hill, closer to the water, or...well on the water. It's the blue one. Says ...well it doesn't have a name but look, if you want to get warm just come to the piers down the hill. It's the blue boat …"

With that said he walked away.

When he got home, he simply turned the tv on, put the chicken and dumplings on low and waited.

He sighed; he had no clue why he was doing this. He hadn't cared about her…she was jacob's little ...whatever. he had no clue what they were, but he knew Jacob was head over heels for her. it was kind of gross. It was borderline …obsessive. Ok, maybe not obsessive…but more like…territorial and he could also be childish. And just from the packs mind, he could see the way he treated the girl. Getting upset if she didn't necessarily agree with him on something, or not even taking the time to hear her side. He guessed was just the lack of maturity, at least in the romance department.

The quiet knock on then his door had him look up.

"it's open. Come on in"

He immediately grabbed a towel, a change of clothes and waited for her to come in. She hesitated at first. Probably not sure why she had even taken his offer. They barley spoke to one another.

He didn't ask her any questions or even if she was okay. He simply put the towel and change of clothes in hand and said "the bathroom's down the hall, you can take a shower and warm up or just change. doesn't matter. Dinner will be done soon, if you want any. I completely understand it you just want to go home. It's up to you."

She simply nodded and shakily took the clothes. After a few minutes he heard the shower running.

He sighed as her scent filled his home. What the hell had he just done?

Bella secret lover pov continued:

By the time, she came out the shower, the chicken and dumplings had been cooked and sat on the dinner table.

He had already dug in; he wasn't the kind to wait for anyone else. Wasn't it good enough that he made her a plate?

"um…you wouldn't happen to have a plastic bag...for my wet clothes?" she asked

"I got something even better, It's called a dryer. Its past the bathroom, to your left."

She followed his instructions and he heard the dryer turn on.

"hey...how do you get a dryer to work in a houseboat?"

To his own surprise, he laughed.

"don't worry I'm not laughing at you, it's just funny because I don't have people over, like at all, so no one really asks hey how do you dry your clothes when you live on water. But anyway, the dry is …run by air power. You put your clothes, press the button and it literally sucks up the surrounding oxygen and dry's your clothes. Takes about ten minutes."

She smiled softly and then proceeded to stand awkwardly in his kitchen.

"but hey, dinners on…if your hungry. I even have enough for you to take to Charlie; I know how you have to cook for him all the time and a day off wouldn't kill you. Want any coffee? tea?"

"um…no thank you…" she then step forward but as she did, she managed to trip and bump her shin, on the counter. This however caused a small gash that began to bleed.

"oh, hey be careful. Band aids are in the bathroom. Here I'll get it."

He looked back at her again and noticed she had tensed up almost like she was expected some kind scolding? Some kind of attack?

"bell-"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! just don't … leave me! please! please! Don't leave me alone!"

He was mortified. Here she was bleeding from a small cut and she was apologizing and begging him not to leave? Just what the heck did the cold ones do to her?

Without thinking, he quickly picked her up and put on top of the kitchen table. He needed to be eye level.

"hey. Hey, bell, snap out of it. there is no way and no reason on this gosh darn earth you should eb apologizing for bleeding. Your human and its natural. I don't know what the cold ones told you or what happen but you bleeding is perfectly ok. See, look." he said as he took out a sharp knife from its holder.

She tried to stop him, but he shook his head, with a swift hand he quickly sliced his own shin and watched the blood fall.

"See bell, we all bleed. Its ok. Now let me get you a band-aid."

When he came back, he found her still on the counter, but her emotions had changed. instead of being distraught, she looked…at peace?

"Alright, here's the band aid. Now, I know you said no to the tea and coffee, so how about something warm but without the caffeine?"

"like hot coco?" she asked as she hopped down from the counter.

"uh, something a tad bit healthier"

She gave him a questioning and yet…curious look.

After a few minutes, he presented it to her in a batman mug.

"here you go. Warm water with honey and a small slice of lemon."

From that day on, when ever she wanted something warm, that was what she drank.

End flashback.

End of secret loved pov

…..

Bella didn't realize she was cold until she felt Jacob brush against her and in truth it just felt…wrong. This was all wrong. Her and Edward. Her and Jacob, not that there was anything there. She didn't love him, and she had told him that repeatedly, but he just kept hoping for more. Yes, she loved him like a brother, like a best friend but they just…weren't a match. They were so different and yet so alike. Besides, jake…he was sixteen. She was eighteen. He had so much to live for and she…well she had baggage and she refuse to let him carry anymore of her crap then what he already had.

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted when a copper hand that held a black mug reached out to her.

"here."

His wrist, lightly grazing hers. In that moment, there was an electricity. A warmth, like no other. And how she missed it. The day she left for Italy, her thoughts didn't settle on Jacob or Charlie, not even Edward himself. Her whole being was focused on him. on whether he would hate her or whether he would understand? Or whether he would miss her.

The aroma of honey, lemon and him had her wide awake. His scent of salt water, and pine filling her noise. For the first time in weeks, Bella felt safe, wanted and yet not expected to do anything. That was something that had attracted her. He didn't expect anything from her and yet he didn't hover.

Their eyes met for a brief second and then he went back to his seat. Right next to Emily. Of course.

...

Before she knew it, the bonfire was over, and it was time to go home. She honestly didn't want to talk to anyone. At least, no one but him.

Speaking of him, he was nowhere to be found and Bella had been left alone, Jacob was talking to Sam, the elders were whispering amongst themselves and Leah clearwater was glaring dagger at her.

"Don't start that bell."

she quickly turned to see Seth. He looked really upset.

"hey what's- "

"don't worry about me. listen, while everyone is distracted. You need to get out of here. head down the hill, he'll be waiting for you. Now go."

Bella felt her heart accelerate. He was waiting on her. with that knowledge, she quietly but speedily ran past Seth and down the dark path.

She didn't have to go far because before she knew it. she was swept up in Hot arms and peppered with electrifying kisses.

"I- "

"SSH. Don't speak. The forest has ears. As soon as we get home…. Just hang on..."

Home? The boat house? She thought. Bella's body hummed with excitement. It had been so long since she had been home. Home …with him.

…

Bella was confused. This area was close to the boat house, it was still by the water…but it wasn't as close.

Still holding her in his arms, her lover began to tremble. It seemed the closer they got, the more he began to shake. And when they finally got to their destination. Bella could only gasp.

There was round log cabin. The door was painted blue, right within the tree line and close to the water bank.

Her lover brought her to the doorstep where the porch curved all the way around. He gently put her down and before she could speak, he fell to his knees before. Face distraught with emotion. Emotions she had never seen before. Anger, sadness, joy, and despair. So much despair.

"you left…to save the cold one from killing himself…. that was ...that was noble. And yet it was so goddamn reckless…I mean ...they...they could have killed you…. they could have…they could have changed you….and …and I would have been here. alone. I'm always freaking alone Bella don't you get that. and then you came along…and you…you lit up my life. You made…you made my life. You're the only one I have and …and I ...I…can't take it anymore. I need you dammit! I'm a mess without you! So, I'm begging you... please...don't do this. Don't …leave me anymore. I-I built this place for us with my bare hands. I didn't ask the pack it was all me. I made this for us… So, I'm asking you here and now…please. Stay. Be with me. I... I love you. I love you Bella with everything I have, and I need you to be all in…or don't come back. I can't take my heart being played with. I'm not Jacob and I'm not Edward. I'm me. you fell in love with me! we worked on this. On us, this relationship over time. Not some Imprint or vampire enthrallment bull crap. This is it. I'm not going to chase you, I'm not going to beg, I'm not going to kill myself. right here, right now…i…I want you to be happy. And if that includes me…not in your life…then so be it. just don't string me along."

Bella couldn't see his face; her vision was blurry from all the tears. He loved her, her built her a house and yet…yet he was willing to let her go. He just wanted her to be happy. With or without him. she found herself falling to her knees, joining him on the ground, eye level.

"when …when I left for Italy. I wasn't thinking of Charlie, I wasn't thinking of Jacob, not even Edward. I was thinking about you and how you would feel about me leaving. I swear the whole time you were on my mind and then…and then i..i met the volturi…and ..and they were killing people. Just random tourist. I-I can still hear the screams but one thing I was so grateful to the fact that you weren't there. That they could never touch you, because you were so strong and so brave and all I wanted was to do was get out of there. And then yesterday…when I met up with the Cullen's, we took a vote... a vote on whether I would stay human o-or if I would be changed. The vote came to five yes and two no... and all I could think about was how much I loved you and how much I truly didn't want to be changed. I wanted to live my life with you…but...but the volturi…...it doesn't matter. I told the Cullen's no. i..i just want you...you're the only one I want. I-"

Her lover cut her off as he put his lips on hers. He quickly picked her up, wrapped her legs around his waist and brought them over the threshold.

From this day on. Things would never be the same.

…..

Lime alert! Lime Alert!

Bella groaned when she felt a searing heat reach down and cup between her legs.

"oh baby, you smell so good. God, I've missed you so much." He whispered into her ear.

Bella groaned again, burying her face in his neck as he began his ministrations.

"That's it honey. Just let me love you. Let me show you…but first, let me show you something."

Bella whimpered when he pulled away.

"Ssh, ssh. Ill be right back. I got something for you."

Five minutes later, he returned.

"I made this for you, a month after we started dating. I just knew, you were the one for me."

Bella gasp as he entered her again.

"I love you and you're the only women, I have never connected with anyone like this. No other women has been connected to me like this. Only you. And this ring. This ring…its your babe. I'm not asking for anytime soon but do want to know that this is forever. Your It for me baby. Just say yes."

When he pulled put and push back in again, Bella could only groan out.

"yeees. Oh yes. Ill do it. I want to…one day."

"I knew it baby. I knew you would. no ones going to take you from me every again. And don't be mad at Seth, I just needed him to watch over when I couldn't. He's the only male scent I can stand. the only male who's not trying to get into your pants because the others are so freaking horny its disgusting and then they wonder Why they can't get a proper girl."

He growled as he pulled out and then pushed right back in.

Bella groaned.

"Relax baby. Let take away the nightmares."

With hat said, he slammed into her again.