A/N:
Notes:
No New Notes
Warnings:
No New Warnings
Dedication: to Westeast
Shout_Outs: (please check the end of the chapter for replies)
Disclaimer: I am never going to be Disney, so no, I'm not getting paid for this so please, for the love of all things good on this earth, don't sue me!
—
To Have Your Arms Around Me…
"I don't care if it's not right/To have your arms around me/ I want to feel what it's like/to take all of you inside of me…"
— Madonna, Forbidden Love
""
Ravi sighed, thumbing at the red button on his screen almost aggressively. His thumb hovered over the number he'd been trying to call for the past hour before deciding not to try and call again, there'd been no response before and it wasn't about to change. He dropped his cellphone on the bed before dropping back onto it too and staring up at the ceiling, blinking the stinging heat out from them.
"Voicemail finally full?"
Ravi turned his head and glared half-heartedly at Zuri, who was sitting on the nightstand, painting her toenails a bright, glittery pink. She'd come by earlier to pick up her phone from Luke and had stayed just for the show. Ravi hated that she seemed to be enjoying this, but then he doubted that she actually was, her eyes kept doing this weird thing that Ravi couldn't begin to explain. Zuri was a weird one; she didn't react to situations like a normal person, never like how someone would expect her to.
"I take that as a yes." Zuri sighed; dropping the foot she'd been working on and closing her nail polish. She sighed and turned her full attention to Ravi, crossing a leg over another and placing a hand over another, almost delicately. She tilted her head to the side and then said, "Run this story by me just one more time before I make any comments on the situation."
"Zuri— —" Ravi started, through his teeth but Zuri interrupted him before he could say more.
"Just one more time," she said; her voice calm and gentle.
Ravi let out an irritated sound, took a deep breath and then began to explain, keeping it short and simple. "Luke walked in here, while I was having sex and he freaked out."
Zuri made a sound at the back of her throat, like she was somewhere better disappointed and annoyed. "And I'm assuming that you're assuming he freaked out because of what the guy looks like."
Ravi frowned at the particular wording, staring at his sister. She didn't give anything away, her face soothing out into a neutral expression. "Isn't he?"
Zuri shrugged, humming the equivalent of 'I don't know' without actually opening her mouth. "You think he even saw the other guy?" she asked instead, twiddling at the nail polish bottle, turning her attention to it for a moment before looking back at Ravi.
"I don't know."
"I mean, seriously Rav, where did you even meet this guy?"
"Online."
"Obviously," Zuri said though it was surprisingly not sarcastic, but a mere observation.
Ravi continued. "He's uh… he's a fan of Luke's work."
"Right, of course." Zuri was silent for a long moment and then, "I want to say the resemblance is uncanny, but you already know that and I suppose..." She waved hand about vaguely to convey the obvious.
"Yes."
"Good lord, you are tragic," she said. And Ravi knew she was mostly making the comment to herself but he was riled up and he couldn't keep his mouth shut.
Sitting up, movement aggressive because of his own pent up frustration, Ravi snapped, "Thanks Zuri, your insight is most appreciated."
Zuri shrugged again, not in the least bit affected by Ravi's snappy attitude. She completely understood, well not completely, but she understood. She'd already dealt with Luke. "Hey, I'm just calling it as I see it," she said coolly.
"Are you here to be annoying or are you actually going to help me find Luke and explain."
She pulled a face. "Do you know how big this hotel is, my dude? There is no way we're going to find him unless he wants to be found. And if he's not answering his phone, or mine, then he definitely doesn't want to be found."
"He probably thinks I'm a freak," Ravi said, more to himself than to Zuri. Zuri made some kind of sound, but Ravi didn't care to try and decipher it, too stressed out about Luke. He wanted to find him desperately and explain what Luke had walked into. He hadn't— Ravi didn't even know what. He hadn't wanted Luke to walk in on him, had thought that Luke would stay out all day with Zuri. That's why he'd invited Phil over in the first place. He'd not wanted to, initially, not after Luke had seen the texts, had probably seen the pictures of Phil, but, whelp!
He'd just wanted to release some tension. Luke had walked in on him naked, had seen him naked and had comment and had stared at Ravi and— Ravi had just wanted to hook up with someone who wouldn't make him feel ashamed about being turned on. He'd wanted it to be Luke, of fucking course, but he couldn't have that, Luke hated him for some reason, and there was no way that that was ever going to happen in any lifetime, so he'd gone for the next best thing.
What a fucking mess Ravi's hormones had caused. Now Luke definitely hated him, defiantly wanted nothing to do with him, and he had hard, concrete reasons to do so.
Fucking hell!
"He thinks I'm a freak," Ravi said in a slightly choked voice. "He probably thinks I'm the biggest freak to walk the planet."
"Who even knows," Zuri said in an indifferent manner. Ravi turned to glare at her but she only met his eyes with a steady look. "Oh Ravi, my sweet summer child, you can talk to me, I'll listen."
Ravi sighed and dropped himself back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling, eyes prickling with tears. He bit the inside of his mouth, trying to fight said tears, trying to stop all the emotion that was trying to fight its way up his throat. He wouldn't cry, not right now, not till he found Luke and explained—he'd give some half assessment lie that wouldn't make Luke think he was an absolute freak.
"What do you even want me to say, Z," Ravi finally asked, voice catching on the last word, "that I'm in love with my brother and got with some guy just because they look like him?" Ravi rubbed at his eyes, feeling tired, feeling beyond it—exhausted. "He probably hates me now, I mean he already hated me, but he probably hates me more now. I'm a total freak."
"That reminds me of that time Dean was freaking out about Sam when he realized that he harboured more feelings than was strictly brotherly. Well, if we're being honest, that's a running theme in the 'I just realized I love you lore than' story line."
Ravi turned his head to look at his sister, confusion and wonder clear on his face. He couldn't understand Zuri, figured he'd never really understand her. She just seemed to be taking everything so well, not even batting an eye at the fact that Ravi was having a crisis about his brother walking in on him having sex with a guy who looked a little too much like him.
"They always work it out in the end, thank Jesus, but it's a hell of a lot of drama before they do." Zuri paused for a moment, looking at Ravi with eyes almost comically wide and then said, "Good lord!"
Ravi stared at Zuri but she made no further attempt to speak, instead turning back to her glittery nail polish.
"Why are you still here?" Ravi asked. He didn't mean to sound so annoyed at his sister, but again, crisis. And Zuri's calmness to the entire thing was putting him on edge. Ravi figured it had more to do with the fact that he was expecting more of a reaction than he was getting. He'd already heated himself up for defence, having to explain and reason, but Zuri was just taking it all in so calmly, like it didn't bother her in the least bit—because for some reason it really didn't bother her for some reason.
"You know, Ravi, if you're going to continue acting like an asshole I won't help you find Luke."
"Not that you were helping before."
Zuri's only response to that was an unimpressed look. Ravi held up his hands in surrender and after a moment his sister nodded, excepting the lame form of apology. "I have questions first, before we move on to anything else."
"Obviously."
"How long?"
"How long what?"
"How long have you been in love with Luke, have you had this thing with what's-his-name, and how the hell did you manage to arrange meeting up with this guy anyway? And of all the holidays, it was this one?"
"He was already planning on coming to Ibiza," Ravi said, answering what he thought was the easiest of the questions his sister had asked him. "His parents travel a lot and he refused to be left out of it. We've been arranging to meet, and when mom and dad talked about Ibiza I remembered reading about him coming here with his family. We planned it out, he got his parents to move the Ibiza trip and well, he's here."
"In the same hotel?"
"No. He's in a different hotel, a few streets down."
"Why didn't you guys meet up at his hotel? It would've help with avoiding all the drama."
"Yeah…." Ravi wondered that now too. Why hadn't he just instead that they meet up at Phil's hotel room instead. He knew that Phil had his own room, that he hadn't had the drama of rooming problems. Phil was an only child; he didn't have to share anything with anyone. He was living the life La Vida Loca.
Zuri was silent for so long that Raj ended up looking at her. She had this look on her face, like she was putting something together, her eyes narrowed so tightly they were almost slits. "You wanted him to walk in," she said finally, voice carefully neutral.
"What?"
"You wanted him to find out. Why?"
"I didn't! I thought you'd be with him all day, I thought— —"
"Please don't treat me like a fool, because I'm not. You wanted him to find you, even if it wasn't a conscious decision." Zuri tilted her head again then said, "How long have you been in love with him?"
"Years," Ravi replied. "It's been years." It had been so many years of Ravi trying to suppress his feelings, trying to pretend that Luke suddenly hating him didn't hurt as much as it did, trying to pretend that he could possibly get over his feelings for Luke. "He hates me, Zuri, and I don't even know why, but I still love him, despite it. I— I wanted to work things out with him, I didn't want to hate him anymore. I was— I just wanted to be able to be friendly with him again, you know. I don't want to fight with him anymore. I'm tired of always fighting whenever we're around each other. But I've ruined it; he probably thinks I'm an absolute freak now."
"Where did you find the other guy anyway?"
"The internet. I was online one day and these people kept commenting about how much some guy looked like Luke and well, I looked and I saw."
"And he didn't find it weird that Luke Ross's brother was interested in him?"
"He didn't really care about it. He got to talk to Luke Ross's brother and get an inside scoop on everything Luke Ross. He's kind of obsessed."
"Heh…."
"Zuri, I don't want to lose him completely." The words were said in a small, broken voice and Ravi couldn't meet his sister's eyes.
Zuri made a sound at the back of her throat then jumped off the bedside table and sat down next to Ravi. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and let him lean against her shoulder. "You won't lose him, Rav, I promise."
Ravi snorted, the tears he'd been fighting since he kicked Phil out the room finally winning the battle. He didn't bother wiping them away, maybe this would release whatever it was that seemed to be lodged in his chest. And the way Zuri was shushing him, whispering soft words of assurance that Ravi didn't believe, that just made him cry even more, cry harder.
Thunder rumbled in the distance, Ravi registered it somewhere at the back of his head, could hear rain falling outside. The weather suited Ravi's mood well.
Zuri continued to hold her brother and let him cry, she couldn't remember the last time Ravi had cried like this. Years, she thought, it had been years. Not since those days when Luke had first started acting like an asshole, saying mean things to Ravi, doing anything to rile him up and get him into a fight. It had been awful!
It was a lot worse now, Zuri thought, really bad, but she thought maybe it would finally get better. If she had to lock Luke and Ravi in a damned closet just to get them to talk, them by all fucking means, she would. She was tired of this fighting, tired of them denying each other happiness because they were being idiots. She'd figure something out, she'd get them together one way or the other, even if she had to lie to make it happen, she'd make it happen!
Ravi finally cried himself out. When there was nothing left to give he took a deep breath, wiped his face with the sleeve of his shirt and sat up straight. Zuri dropped her arm from his shoulders and shifted away slightly.
"You good?" she asked quietly.
Ravi nodded, "I'll be fine."
"Okay." Zuri stood up. "I'm going to go to my room and try and get a hold of Luke. You stay here, just in case he comes back."
"Okay."
"Get some rest, Rav. I'll come by in an hour or so with some food okay. Get some water first then get into bed and sleep."
"And Luke?"
"We'll figure that out when we get there."
Ravi nodded. He didn't feel like getting up now, he just wanted to sleep. Zuri disappeared into the bathroom for a moment and came back with a glass of water which had she handed to Ravi. She waited patiently while he drank then took the glass and indicated to the top of the bed with her head. Ravi nodded again then turns and crawled up the bed, dragged the covers down and crawled inside. Zuri pulled the covers over him and kissed his forehead.
"Sleep tight, Rav. I'll come by and check on you in an hour, okay?"
"Kay."
Ravi curled into the covers as much as he could and heard the door close quietly. He sighed. He was exhausted but he didn't think he'd get any sleep. Every time he tried shutting his eyes he could see Luke's face, clear as anything, staring at him in shock and disgust. Why had he even thought that bringing Phil here was a good idea? Honestly, why had he thought that? Of course Luke would've wanted to come up, for any reason.
Maybe Ravi had wanted to get caught; maybe he had wanted Luke to walk in on him and Phil, to see them together. Maybe Zuri was right. Of course she was, wasn't she always? Ravi had done this to himself; he'd gotten himself into this situation.
Lord, he was such an idiot!
[][][]
Luke was an idiot!
For more than one reason.
But the biggest reason at that point in time was the fact that he'd decided sitting in the rain and wallowing in self-pity was better than going to anyone's room and having to deal with questions—he knew with clear certainty that he looked like crap. He didn't have answers, not proper ones, not ones that would be satisfactory.
He'd walked in on Ravi and his boyfriend. It had been so much better when the boyfriend had just with a thing, a thought, faceless. But he had a face now, a body, he was an actual human being and he'd been— they'd been—
Luke was a fucking idiot!
He shouldn't have gone up; he should've just stayed by the pool and dealt with questions from Axel. That would've been so much better than the alternative, than walking in on Ravi with someone else. Axel would've probably had him sitting by the pool for too long, Zuri would've come back and they only would've come up again when it was too cold, getting too dark. He probably wouldn't have even known about Ravi's thing.
Too late for regrets now, Luke thought gloomily. He'd gone up and seen. Ravi was with someone, probably that guy he was texting. Who else would it be?
Ravi was living his life, meeting people, probably falling in love. Luke had to get over it, had to get over his feelings for Ravi because they'd never be returned. He'd need to move on himself now, need to find someone who he could possibly be with, be happy with. It was possible, it could happen. Lots of people moved on. It wouldn't be easy, sure, but he'd be okay, it would be okay.
A rough shiver rocked though Luke's body. He was getting too cold, his fingers and toes felt numb and he could feel himself shaking. It was getting way too cold, so different from during the day when the sun had been out, warming the place up. Now, it was dark and raining, the breeze coming from the ocean unforgiving. Luke was freezing.
He did consider not leaving, thinking that dying here, in the freezing rain, would be a much better alternative to anything else he could do, but then images of his mom kept coming into his head, thoughts of what would happen to her, how she'd react to finding him dead because he was an idiot. So with a sigh—a stutter-y one because he really was freezing and his teeth were even clattering together because of it—Luke got up from the pool chair he'd been sitting on and went into the hotel.
He used the stairs again, like he had when he'd figured that most people had headed inside because of the change of weather, and had decided to go outside himself. The stairs were empty and cold, matching Luke's heart. He felt tired and wet and couldn't stop shaking. Luke was sure that tomorrow, his body would not be thanking him for this, would definitely kick him in the ass. He didn't care, not right now.
Water squelched in Luke's shoes as he walked up to the floor where he knew Zuri's room was. He was hoping that she'd be there, he still had her phone in his pocket—probably dead now from all the water—and if anything, he'd just pretend he came to apologise for ruining it and then just stay. He couldn't see Ravi, not right now, not when his mind kept filling up with the image of a naked Ravi with someone else.
Luke reached the door of Zuri's shared room. He looked around the hallway and again wished he'd talked to Axel instead of chickening out. He would've much preferred to bother someone he didn't know, maybe Axel wouldn't ask him too many questions, and even if they did, Luke would've been able to lie. But he was here now, things had happened this way. This was his only option.
He knocked on the door and waited, arms wrapped around himself as he bounced his body, trying to get himself warm. He hadn't thought this through well enough. He was freezing.
The door flew open and Emma stared at him with wide eyes. "Luke?" she asked, eyes roaming up and down his body, taking in the state he was in.
"D-do you gu-guys have a t-t-towel?" he stuttered, still bouncing, still trying to get himself warm. His clothes were still wet, dripping water onto the hallway carpet, and they were slowly drying on his body, which wasn't a good thing at all. He needed to get warm soon, or else pneumonia would be calling his name, and death would be knocking on his door.
"Yeah, come in." Jessie, who'd been on the couch reading through a magazine, hurried out the room returning with a thick, fluffy towel.
"Get your clothes off," Jessie instructed. Luke did as told, not bothering to argue and Jessie had the towel wrapped around Luke a moment later and then rubbed at his arms to try and get him warm. She grabbed his wet clothes, including his boxers which he only took off after the towel was around him—because dignity, or something—and went into the bathroom.
"What happened?" Emma asked when she had gotten Luke on the couch and had gotten the small heater going.
"N-nothing," Luke lied.
Emma looked at her brother thoughtfully then sighed. "You've been acting so weird; I don't even know you anymore." She shook her head and turned her attention to the blanket she was wrapping around Luke to give him maximum warmth.
Jessie came back into the room, wiping her hands down on her dress. "Yours and Zuri's phones are ruined, but I think getting it into some rice will do the trick, hopefully. I'm going to go to your room and get you some clothes, okay?"
Luke nodded, unable to get words out from his mouth, his teeth were chattering too much.
Lord, he was freezing! What the hell was he even thinking sitting in the rain like that? Luke regretted everything.
He slithered down from the couch and onto the carpeted floor to be closer to the heater. His toes felt as if they'd fall of with how numb they felt. He pulled at the blanket wrapped around him awkwardly until he got his feet out from his and close to the small heater. It would take a while for his body to get warm, for his toes and fingers to feel it.
"Hi, Idiot McStupid-Face," Zuri's voice said from behind Luke. He didn't turn but he felt something relax in him. Zuri was here.
"Zu-zu-zuri," he got out.
The girl rolled her eyes, looking at the shivering, stuttering mess that was her brother and went to sit on the floor beside him. Her brothers were idiots, good lord! "So, pneumonia, huh?"
"Wha-what?"
Zuri shrugged. "You think catching pneumonia and dying is going to fix your problems?"
"That's— that's not what I was planning."
"Why didn't you come here before? Why did you think avoiding everyone was going to be the answer?"
Luke felt bad, he could hear how Zuri was trying not to sound like she wasn't hurt by this, by the fact that Luke felt it was a better option to avoid everyone then to come to her and talk it through. "I didn't want to talk about it."
"I wasn't going to force you to. We could've just sat here and stuffed our faces with chocolate or something. You didn't need to try and get yourself sick."
"I don't want to make all my problems yours, Zu."
"But I want you to make all your problems mine. I'm here for you, Luke, I'm here to help. Haven't I proven that? And even if it wasn't me, why didn't you just talk to Zack? He probably would've been able to help you."
"I didn't want to talk to anyone."
"That's the problem. You want to bottle everything up!"
Luke had no answer to that because it was the truth. He preferred suffering on his own than getting other people into it.
"I'm here for you, Zack's here for you, even Rosie's here if you need her. You're not alone, Luke, you have to stop acting like you are. And I know it's not going to be easy, getting you to talk, but just know that you're not alone, that you have people that care and love you despite what you think of yourself."
"Okay, Zuri."
"Okay?"
"Okay."
Zuri nodded. "Emma's gone to get you some food and hot chocolate and Jessie's gone to get clothes. I made them promise not to tell mom and dad about this, but knowing Emma, she's probably already there, telling them. So you're going to need to come up with a good explanation why the fuck you thought sitting in the fucking rain in the middle of the fucking night was a good fucking idea."
"Why do you swear so much?"
"It's my let out for frustration because you are fucking frustrating."
"Thanks, it's a skill."
Zuri rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I hope you wake up with a blocked nose and a sore throat."
"Are you wishing pneumonia on me?"
"No, just a really shit day with a blocked nose and a sore throat."
"Thanks."
"Anyway, I think maybe some sleep is a good idea for you right now."
"I'm naked."
"Don't act like you've never slept naked before."
"Okay."
"Get on the couch and get some sleep in you. We'll wake you when your clothes and food are here."
"Kay mom, thanks."
Feeling a lot warmer and dryer than before, Luke shuffled back onto the couch and stretched out on it—making sure that nothing was peeking out and displaying itself for the world. Zuri added another blanket on him and moved the heater a little closer to him, making sure that it wouldn't accidently start a fire by being too close to anything flammable. She dropped herself on another couch and dragged Emma's laptop onto her lap.
A moment later, music came from the laptops speakers. Luke sighed, and shut his eyes. He was feeling hella tired and a bit of sleep wouldn't hurt. Yeah, he'd deal with food and clothes later on. Good plan. So with the sound of music coming from Emma's laptop, Luke fell in a slightly comfortable sleep.
…TBC…
The ending is a bit dodgy, NGL. Now don't get angry with me about Ravi's part, I know y'all were probably expecting a lot more than what you got. But his past will be explored a little more; this is not just the end of it, promise. And I'm also super excited about next chapter because something hectic is sure to happen. I'm not sure if I'm rushing into things, but next chapter you guys will be able to comment on the pace. Till then (:
Shout_Outs:
Guest: I guess I should get myself the song so I can listen to it. It might become the unofficial anthem to the story.
King Dawn: Maybe bi (I don't know TBH) but Luke has definitely fallen hard for our boy Ravi. It's going to get better sooner than you think, they're finally going to work through their emotions (HALLELUJAH!) and they'll talk things out finally (and Zuri won't even need to lock them in a closet!) *haha*.
orionastro: Yerp, he definitely had a rough time trying to deal with it—he's a lot more dramatic about situations than anyone else in his family. It is a stressful situation, but they'll work through it very soon. I know it's not a lot—even though you did get to find out more about mystery guy—but I promise you'll be getting more of Ravi's POV and his thoughts on the whole situation.
SerpensPrincess: Thank you (:
Winged Beauty 16: The ending was intense! I'm hoping I can get more of Axel in the story because I did really like them, maybe they'll show up in a few more chapters. I hope that you enjoyed that piece of revelation. Now you know how Ravi feels about everything. There'll definitely be more of his side of things. Hope you enjoyed the chapter ((:.
Bye for now
(",)