A/N: Hello again! You almost didn't get this because my computer was having issues, but the wonderful people at Apple fixed it and I lost nothing! So, Yippee. Thank you Apple! And thanks to all of my readers and reviewers, you blow me away.

Disclaimer: Twilight and characters belong to Stephanie Meyer, only the plot is mine.

Chapter 5

EPov

I didn't quite know what to do about Jasper.

After he completed his practice, after we had made out, and after he told me point-blank that he was going to fight for me, I sat on the couch and stared into space for an hour. I could still taste him on my lips and on the tip of my tongue. I could still feel his hard body beneath my hands and his hands grasping my hair. I could smell his cologne on my shirt.

And I agreed whole-heartedly that I wanted him to be mine.

Trying to connect this not-so-sudden realisation with my resolution to be 'friends first' was hard. I had no idea how to act in front of him anymore. Do I ignore the fact that I had ground my cock against his? Do I acknowledge that I liked it, desired it, and would really, really, like to do it again in the not-so-distant future?

I was at a complete loss, and I had to see him again in the morning. On the one hand, I felt that I should stick to the plan. I wanted a relationship with him, I would be crazy if I didn't, but it would be best if we waited until he was no longer a student of mine. However, I really wanted him. I had been able to push it aside when I hadn't known what I was missing. But now… there was no way I could forget that kiss. There was no way that I would be able to teach him, be near him, and breath him in every day, and not feel the need to touch him.

Damn him, why did he have to screw everything up? I had been doing so well. We had been talking every night. I was getting to know him and was starting to become his friend. I could see us hanging out with each other outside of my house. We could have went out to dinner, or seen a play or hit a club. Well, maybe not a club, but the point is that we could have gotten to know more about the other person. I wanted to go to his favourite restaurant; I wanted to see what his favourite place in the city was. Now, though, all I could see was a massive amount of tension, scattered with moments of embarrassment, and sexual frustration in our futures. And it was all his fault.

Well, maybe not all his fault. I never told him no, and in fact may have urged him on a bit. Shut up brain. Whose fucking side are you on anyway? I had to be able to think clearly, but memories of Jasper kept my mind completely clouded.

I've always been an organised person. I like to plan everything and when my plan is changed or thwarted, I tend to freak out a bit. But ever since my mom died, I felt that I had to have my entire life planned for me. I could never just take things as they come; everything was thought out and pre-planned. Change was not an option. It didn't make sense, I knew that. My mom died so suddenly, one would think that I would choose to take every opportunity that came my way. Unfortunately, it seemed to have the opposite effect on me.

I had a plan for Jasper. But now Jasper had thwarted my plan, and I didn't know what to do. There was no way I could wing it. Spontaneous Edward is not pretty. Disastrous is more like it. I had to have a plan, even if that meant staying up all night long to think of one. Great plan, but yet another that didn't pan out.

I woke up the next morning to a knock on my door. I sat up and looked around me, confused about why I wasn't in my bed. I moved a bit to my right and wacked my elbow on the corner of my table. The previous night flooded back to me: I had fallen asleep on the living room floor, I was still wearing the same clothes as yesterday, and it was 8:55. Shit, Jasper.

I didn't have a plan! I strongly considered playing possum and not answering the door. I almost tried to sneak into the kitchen where he would never see me. Unfortunately at that moment Jasper's head popped in front of my window. He smiled and waved at me. There was nothing to it, I was going in blind.

I picked myself off the floor and walked into the hallways. I caught my reflection in the hall mirror. Fuck, my hair is everywhere. You could certainly tell that I had been running my fingers through my hair all night long and that I hadn't washed it yet. It was completely flat on one side—that side that, naturally, also had a pressure mark from my carpet right on my cheek, Fuck my life—while the other side was sticking up all over the place.

Hmm, maybe I'll just scare Jasper off.

I answered the door, not quite knowing what to expect. Jasper looked as wonderful as he had last night. Clearly he hadn't been up half the night stressing about today.

"Morning Jasper. I, er, just work up. Sorry I'm such a mess."

Jasper looked at me from under his eyelashes. His eyes widened as he took in my slovenly appearance, his teeth catching his bottom lips. He walked right up to me and brought his hand up to slide along the marks on my face. I gasped at his touch and didn't even try to get away.

"Don't be sorry. I think you look adorable." Jasper leaned over and replaced his hand with his lips, brushing them against my cheek. I closed my eyes and immersed myself in the feel of his lips on my face. I began to feel my cock harden.

Jasper pulled away. I opened my eyes lazily to see him smiling up at me, "Good morning Edward. How was your night?"

"F-Fine." I stuttered. He seemed so normal, like nothing had happened. Of course I expected this to an extent, but still, he was acting like last night didn't have very significant consequences.

"Good, I bought breakfast. It's still a little early and I didn't know if you were a morning person. And I wasn't sure if you had gotten your full 8 hours in, so I brought coffee and croissants." Between my complete horror at how I looked and ogling Jasper, I hadn't noticed that he was carrying anything. Jasper kept bringing me food. I wasn't complaining, though. I was starving. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach! No, stop thinking like that. There will be no… heart giving or whatever the hell it is. This is fucking ridiculous.

Jasper took the initiative and walked into my kitchen. He set the bag of croissants on the counter, "Do you have jam or something for these?"

"Oh, yeah," I went to the fridge and grabbed the strawberry jam. Then I got some plates and some knives from the drawer. When I turned back, Jasper was looking at me hesitantly.

"Look, Edward, about last night," He ran his fingers through his hair, and looked at his feet.

My stomach dropped and I felt the wind go out of me. He was regretting it. He was regretting kissing me. I hadn't known how much it meant to me, until he said those words. A sense of loss surrounded me, smothered me until I couldn't breath. How could he regret it? It had been wonderful. Then he had said that he wanted me, and now I really want him and he regrets it. My heart was racing, and I didn't understand why. What was going on with me? One moment I was set on keeping my distance, but now the possibility that he could want the same thing makes me heartbroken.

"It's okay Jasper. It was a mistake," I somehow managed to push those words out of my mouth. It felt like my world was stopping

"No! No, that's not what I meant. I don't regret last night Edward. In fact, it was one of the best fucking nights of my life. But I am sorry if I pushed you too far. I really like you, and I know you like me. But I'm sorry if I freaked you out. I would never want to push you Edward."

I nodded. Trying to process what was going on inside me was impossible. I was going to be his friend; that was the plan, why couldn't I just do that?

I wanted to lie. I wanted to tell him that I thought it was a mistake. I wanted to convince him to never do that again, to give up his attempts. But I couldn't do it. He looked terrified that I would condemn him. I never wanted him to think I was mad at him. Again, I wondered what was going on with me.

I cleared my throat, "You didn't push me Jasper. I, um, liked it too."

Relief flooded his face and he smiled brightly at me causing my heart leapt a little bit.

"Good. I'm glad. Well, I'm done eating so I'll get to practicing." He crumpled his trash up and I opened the cupboard door under the sink where I kept the trash so that he could throw it in.

"Okay, I'm just going to shower," I said. I needed to get away from him. I needed to figure out what was going on with me.

"You sure? Cause I think that's a good look for you," he teased.

I scoffed, "yeah, the homeless look is one definitely I want to be able to pull off."

Jasper laughed and with a parting glance, disappeared down to hallway.

As soon as he was out of my sight I ran into my room. Usually this was a comforting place for me. I painted the walls a soft cream colour, my bedspread was navy blue, and pictures of my family surrounded me. I loved my bedroom. Any worries I had throughout the day were lost as soon as my feet hit it carpet. But today it felt like a prison.

I found myself repeating the question I had asked last night: what do I do about Jasper?

Last night was… fantastic. And wrong. I should have never crossed that line. But I wanted to. My body yearned to touch him again. I had to touch him again; it wasn't an option. And this morning when I thought he had regretted it I was heartbroken. It felt like I had lost the most important thing in my life.

And if he had regretted it, you would have. Somehow I knew that. I knew that Jasper was special, that somehow he had become significant in my life. I knew, without knowing how, that my life without Jasper would be empty. And boring, Jasper had ignited a spark in my life that I had tried to smother for years. No, my life without Jasper wouldn't be half the life I would have on my own. I wanted to have that other life, and I absolutely wanted it with Jasper.

In a flash it hit me that I could never lose Jasper. He was too important. I couldn't be without him. Somehow my obsession had turned into more than that. The constant thinking about him had stamped him into my heart and mind.

No, no there's no way. You hardly even know him. You can't fall for someone after two weeks and a make out session, can you? No, but you're falling. You will be. Fuck.

I showered—deliberately ignoring the persistent hard-on I had, because jacking off to Jasper would not help the situation—and changed into jeans and a tee, the entire time trying to rationalise away these feelings. I looked at the clock and noticed that Jasper had 10 minutes left of his practice time. I debated just staying in my room until he left. He may wait for me, but eventually he would take the hint and leave. However, a larger part of me wanted to see him one last time before Monday. That part won out.

I went into my music room. Jasper was still practicing his scales. Not wanting to disturb him I leaned against the doorframe and watched him. He had gotten really good at them, I noticed. On Monday I would assign him harder songs to practice, and maybe even show him how to do two octave scales if he was interested. When he ended his scales he opened his music book. I watched as he placed his fingers on the keys and painstakingly plucked each note to 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' perfectly. The care that he took with that song, and the love that was contained in it for his mother warmed my heart. I knew that I would never find another man like him.

There was a hint of a smile when he finished playing.

"All done?" I asked. He jumped in he seat, and whirled around to face me.

"Way to sneak up on a guy!" He glared at me.

I shrugged, "You did it to me first."

The glare increased, though I could tell he wasn't mad at me, "Yeah, well you made me fall down. You deserved it. I was sitting here peacefully when you maliciously sneak attacked me."

"First off, you were leaning against my door. That was not my fault. Second, I have been standing here for a few minutes. I was not sneaky, it's not my fault if you are unobservant."

Jasper paused for a second, "Technicalities."

I shook my head and laughed, "How was practice? You seem to really be getting a hang of the scales."

"I know! I told you that I was a kick-ass scales player." His cocky grin once again caused my heart rate to speed up. At this rate I was going to have to see a doctor. All this heart fluttering, stopping, and racing had to be detrimental to my health.

Jasper continued to explain how advanced he obviously was compared to others, all the while I watched him, noticing how even the way the light hit his hair caused me to smile. Yes, I definitely wanted more of Jasper. Everything about him made me want him more. I wondered if this is how he felt about me. What if it's only lust? My stomach clenched again. What if I'm feeling more for him than he does about me? There was no way I could put myself out there only to discover that I was a quick fling. Not with Jasper, that would destroy me.

I walked him out, barely hearing what he was saying. The idea that he didn't want me the same way I wanted him was too terrible. He had to want me. He said that he wanted everything about me, right? I was panicking as I watched him walk down the drive towards his car.

"Oh, Edward?" He turned towards me and began walking back up the drive. When he was right in front of me again, he asked, "One of the professors in my department is giving a lecture at the history museum tonight. I know it might be a little boring, but I wanted to know if you would go with me. The whole museum is ours for the night. If it gets too dull we can sneak off. There'll be food and drinks. I think it could be fun. So will you go with me?"

"Like a date?" I felt like I was in Junior High, asking for confirmation that the boy I liked, liked me back.

Jasper smiled, "If you'd like. I know you're not exactly comfortable with this so if you only want it as fr—"

"Yes," I said cutting him off before I could think too much about it.

Jasper looked surprised, I guess he was expecting me to say no. But after this morning all I wanted to do was spend time with him.

"Great, well, I'll pick you up. The lecture starts at 6 but there are appetizers at 5. So, how about 4:30? Would that work for you?"

"Yes."

"And it's dressy. So you'll need to wear a suit."

"Yes." I was beginning to think that there was nothing else I could say but 'yes'.

"I'll see you at 4:30." Clearly my acceptance had restored Jasper's confidence, he leaned forward and placed a light kiss on the side of my mouth, "I'm really looking forward to seeing you in a suit Edward. Bye."

I shut the door, excitement racing through me. I get to see Jasper tonight. I needed to do something with my hair and dig out my suit.

I was ready half an hour before Jasper was going to be picking me up. I had dressed in my black suit with a forest green tie that I knew looked great with my hair and eyes. My hair was still unmanageable, but this time it was unmanageable with the help of product. I had my dark green plastic framed reading glasses, just in case, hidden in my pocket. With any luck I wouldn't have to use them tonight.

I sat on the couch—the scene of the crime, I had begun to call it—and waited. When five minutes had passed with me anxiously bouncing my leg up and down, I decided to be productive and went into my practice room.

I got out my music sheets and pencil. There had been a tune running through my head for the past few weeks and I was trying to get it out on paper. I was working on the piano section right now, but whenever it was in my head there were strings. I would have to pull my violin out of the closet for that part.

I worked on my piece for a while, but was too distracted to do any real work. I kept thinking about Jasper. Huffing and admitting defeat I gave up on work. If my mind wanted to think about Jasper, I would at least put it to a good use.

I pulled out my old records and found some Fats Waller. I had a good idea for a song that Jasper could play. Well, at least with my help. If he would agree with it, I thought that his song, "Until the Real Thing Comes Along" would be perfect. Jasper could play a low steady melody and sing. He also had the personality to handle Fats' quirky performance style. I would play the trumpet part on the piano in addition to the harder parts. It would work out perfectly, and sound amazing. That is, if he didn't mind my coming in and helping.

I listened to the song play over and over, dissecting the notes, transcribing the trumpet to piano and then separating the steady melody from the harmony. I wonder if I can teach Jasper grace notes and how to trill. He'll be happy that he'll able to use his kick-ass scale skills.

I was so caught up in the music; I didn't even hear Jasper come in. With anyone else I would have been angry that they had just walked into my house, but that Jasper felt comfortable enough sent shivers up my spine. He was right behind me. I stopped the record and turned to look at him.

I had seen him in a suit before, of course, but there was something so sexy about him being all done up. He also was wearing a black suit with a red tie. His wavy hair was falling into his eyes, and I wanted nothing more than to brush them back.

"Hey," he said. His eyes dragged over me and I felt a tremor of lust shoot through me.

"Hi. You look nice." I went to pull myself off the floor when Jasper's hand shot out to help me up. I grabbed it and lifted myself to my feet. After I was standing Jasper kept a hold of my hand.

"So do you," he said breathlessly, "ready to go?"

I nodded and we walked towards his car. He opened my car door for me, which I glared at him for. I'm not a fucking girl just because he's driving. He smirked at me and motioned with his hand for me to get in. I did, and then I noticed when he released my hand that he had been holding it since he had helped me off the floor. It had felt so right there and so comfortable that I hadn't even noticed.

"So why were you listening to Fats Waller?" Jasper asked when we were on the road to the history museum.

"Well, I was thinking of what you could play."

"Any ideas?"

"Actually, yes. I was thinking that you could play "When the Real Thing Comes Along"." I looked at Jasper trying to judge his reaction to my idea.

"I love that song! But isn't it a little hard? And isn't there a trumpet? I remember there being a trumpet."

"Well, I was thinking that, if it's okay with you, I could help you. I think I can turn the trumpet part into a piano part and then play the really difficult parts. Only if it's okay with you though," I quickly added. I didn't want him to think that I was trying to control his song.

"That sounds perfect Edward, but are you sure you wouldn't mind. You're already doing so much for me. I know that you have other students, your own work, and your family. I don't want to take up all your time." It was so sweet of him to always be wondering about my time. But he really needed to give it up; he was starting to annoy me with his constant questioning. If I say I want to do something, I want to do it. The planning control-freak part of me would never let me agree to something if I wasn't absolutely sure that I wanted it.

"It's just fine Jasper. I don't mind. I never mind doing anything for you." Shit, that last part just slipped out. I couldn't regret saying it though because the smile I got back from him was too wonderful.

The rest of the drive was easy. Everything was comfortable and relaxing with Jasper. Along the way, he told me exactly what to expect at this lecture. Apparently the lecture we were attending was on WWI. The professor Dr. Hammon had just written a book and this was a celebration of his accomplishment. There would be a reading and then a question and answer. Jasper assured me that we would try to sneak out as soon as we could.

"I love history, but Hammon… the guy bores me to tears. Tears. I sit in faulty meetings and as soon as he opens his mouth my attention is gone. It's not good. He's in line to be the next department head so I have to learn how to listen to him."

After that, Jasper began describing his colleagues in the most humorous ways. By the time we reached the museum I had heard about Dr. Henry, who hit on Jasper whenever he had a chance, Dr. Bruce who sleeps in his office and one time missed a class because of it, and Dr. Long who completely believed that she was the reincarnation of John Lennon in female form.

"But she was alive when Lennon was killed, you said she was old." I pointed out.

"Do not tell her that. She has a theory and I would hate to blow her bubble. But yes, she was definitely alive before Lennon died."

"Does she understand how reincarnation works?" I asked. Jasper got out of the car. I followed him, smoothing out my jacket to try and remove the wrinkles that had formed. I saw that he had a small crease in his back and before I could think about it I began smoothing it out for him. I heard his breath catch, but otherwise he showed no signs of being affected by it. When I looked at him though, his eyes were burning. I quickly removed my hands and stuck them in my pockets. He continued to stare and I began blushing under his scrutiny.

"Clearly, she does not." He said, answering my question from before and effectively breaking the tension.

The museum was beautifully decorated. In the large lobby, tables had been set up and were filled with food. A platform was in front of a grand staircase and a large banner had been set up. I also noticed a table off to the side that was covered in books. Apparently this was a marketing event as well. We walked around for a bit, chatting about the decorations and hypothesising about whether the lecture would be a success or boring. Jasper introduced me to his colleagues and we grabbed some food.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, if you would please take your seats. The lecture is about to begin."

Everyone began moving towards the platform and the rows of seats that had been set up. I grabbed some extra food and began walking with everyone, when I felt Jasper grab my elbow.

"What?" I asked.

"Follow me." He turned around and headed down one of the wings of the museum. I stayed rooted in place for a few moments wondering what was going on before I quickly headed after him.

I walked down the dark wing, looking for Jasper, but I couldn't find him anywhere.

"Jasper!" I whispered as loudly as I could. I was almost certain that we weren't allowed here.

"Over here" I heard him whisper from farther down the hall. I kept walking until I saw him studying a display from the Civil War.

"What are you doing? What about the lecture?" I asked.

"I didn't want to go to the lecture." Jasper said. I was beyond confused now. Why did he not want to go?

"Then why did you invite me here?"

Jasper turned to look at me. He shrugged, "I just wanted to spend time with you. And I didn't want to wait until Monday to see you again. This was a good excuse."

"So you don't want to hear the lecture?"

"No."

"At all?"

"Nope. Let's just walk around."

"Can we do that?"

"Well see."

Jasper grabbed my hand again, "Come on, they have a history of music display. You'll love it."

He dragged me through the museum, stopping at various displays from natural history to Medieval. I had to get my glasses out after the first display. I heard Jasper's breath hitch and he was eyeing me from the corner of his eye, but he didn't say a word. He was still holding my hand and the contact was making me lose my focus. It was hard to care about the fact that we might be someplace we weren't allowed when Jasper was leading me there.

It was in the middle of the natural history section that Jasper's stomach began to growl.

"I'm glad you brought food. That was smart. I'm fucking starving." He grabbed a cheese wedge off my plate before I could stop him.

"Hey, that's mine! If you didn't have the foresight to bring food, that's not my problem. Besides you're the one who is leading this little adventure so you should have planned ahead. I only got food so that I would have something to do if the lecture got boring." I smacked his hand when he tried to reach for another slice of cheese.

He growled in frustration and tried again. I twisted away from him, "No, I only have one more piece left and I'm hungry."

"I'm hungry too, love. Please give me the cheese, or better yet, I'll share it." He kept talking, but all I could focus on was that he had called me 'love'. No one else had ever called me that before and as un-masculine as it is, I couldn't wait to hear him call me that again.

I was so lost in my thoughts that Jasper had a chance to grab the plate from me and take the last piece. We aren't even dating yet and he's already stealing my food. I glared at him. He smiled sheepishly and handed me half the piece.

"I saved you some." He looked like a little boy trying to appease his parents so he wouldn't be punished. I ate my piece, staring him down the whole time.

"You realise that as the person who technically ate the last piece you now have to carry the plate," I said.

"Wh—That's not fair." He whined, good-naturedly. I tried to contain my smirk, but inwardly I loved how easily he could make me smile.

"Yes it is."

"Fine." He rolled the plate up and tried to stuff it in some of his pockets.

"Damn it." He muttered, as even his back pocket was too small to hold it. I was trying to contain my laughter.

"Come on, I wanna see the music display. You're just going to have to hold it." I began walking and Jasper followed a ways behind me, muttering the entire way. When I was down a few cases, Jasper finally caught up to me, however I noticed that the plate was suspiciously missing.

"Jasper? Where's your plate?"

He pursed his lips, "It may or may not be in the hands of a Greek statue. It's not really my place to say."

"Jasper! We probably aren't even supposed to be here and you're littering."

"That's not litter, that's art." His face was so seriously set that I could do nothing else but laugh at him.

He smiled at me and said, "Come on, to the music display."

He led me up some stairs until we were walking on the balcony above the lecture. Against the walls were displays of instruments, music players, and panels about the history of music.

"This is my favourite," he said, leading me over to some old instruments. I looked at them, but I couldn't focus on them. The entire time Jasper stood right behind me. I could feel his breath on my neck and occasionally we would bump into each other, each muttering a half-hearted apology. I mostly found myself bumping into Jasper because of my desperate need for contact.

I was slowly losing control of my emotions here. Watching Jasper here, among things he was so interested in was fascination. The awe and complete interest that was on his face whenever he would read a display, or when he would give me a long history lesson, kept drawing me in. I could tell that he was good teacher just because of the passion he had for the subject.

When we reached the last display, Jasper was again behind me, reading over my shoulder. I turned my head to watch him. He had probably seen this multiple times, but he still read every single word that was written on the panels. As he read, his lips were moving. I became enraptured with his lips.

I turned even more and pressed my lips against his. It was only a moment before I pulled back, but it only confirmed what I had thought. He was making me do things I would never do with anyone else, I was breaking every rule I had put in place. And I really was falling in love with him. Jasper was looking at me with shock and hope.

"What was that for?" He asked.

"I wanted to." I answered. And I want to do it again.

As if reading my mind, Jasper put both of his hands on my hips and turned me around to face him. Then he raised him hands to cup my neck before bringing our lips together again. There was no lust like there had been last night. Only soft brushings of lips and the desire to show the other how much they were wanted.

Jasper pulled away and leaned his forehead against mine, "I really wanna keep this up, but they're almost done. We should go," he whispered.

We walked out of the display, an unspoken understanding between the two of us. This time, I reached out to grasp Jasper's hands in mine. I found that my hands felt empty without his in them. He smiled and brought our hands up to kiss my knuckles.

We arrived back in the lobby just as the lecture was letting out. He said goodbye to some people and congratulated Dr. Hunter. Before we got in the car, Jasper kissed me lightly on my temple.

I hadn't felt this happy in a long time. Jasper was consuming me, and I didn't mind one bit. The car ride was quiet; both of us were lost in our thoughts. I kept repeating what had happened in the museum. I didn't care about my lines anymore. I had accepted the fact that nothing between Jasper and me would ever be platonic. And that was fine with me. He pulled up in front of my house too soon.

"I had a great time," I said.

"Me too." He said softly. I opened the car door, but before I got out I had to ask him one last question.

"Can I see you tomorrow?"

"Yes."

And I'll see you all next week! ~AJ Kelly