A/N: I'm back! Sorry it took so long. I finished my dissertation, moved back to the States, and was thrown immediately into looking for a job and last minute preparations for my sister's wedding next week. It's been one stressful thing after another.

But I wanted to get out a chapter for you guys. This one is a bit shorter and I'm not thrilled with it because I wish I had more time to write it out. Some parts seem rushed. But oh well, it is what it is. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Twilight and characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. Only the plot is mine.

Chapter 19

JPov

We got some Chinese for take-away and went to a park by my apartment that I love. I guided him to the bench that I always sit at – at least when there isn't a homeless guy sleeping on it – right in front of the pond. I made sure that I got the fried rice first; because that was my favourite and I had to make sure I got most of it before Edward did. I loved Edward, but considering I was the wounded party, I figured I had the right to eat whatever I wanted and as much as I wanted.

Edward was quiet, staring out at the pond and occasionally looking at me out of the corner of his eye. I left him to his thoughts. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence and he didn't seem like he was brooding, so he was okay.

"I'm not used to asking for help," Edward finally said, just as I bit into my egg roll. "I'm used to figuring things out and getting through things on my own. So when I started feeling stressed about the competition, it was habit to keep it to myself. I didn't want to bother you about something that I should be able to handle on my own."

"But I don't want you to keep it to yourself. That's why I'm here."

"I know that, okay? I get that. But I'm just used to doing everything by myself and proving that I can handle it."

"I know you can handle things, Edward. You're strong and brilliant and can do anything you set your mind to. But I want you to tell me, not because I don't think you can handle it, but just because I want to help you. Even if I'm just sitting beside you."

Edward looked down at the food between us on the bench and played with his unused fork. "I'll probably end up trying to push you away again."

"Fine, as long as you realise that when you push me away I'll push back. I won't fall for this again, now that I know. I'll fight you."

"Good," Edward said, finally looking at me with a fierce look in his eyes, "I need you to tell me when I'm…"

"Being a douche?" I suggested innocently.

"Self-destructing," Edward glared.

I smiled and leaned in to kiss him. "For me, that's the same thing."

"Anyways," Edward growled, "I've been doing some work, like I told you. And I know that I push people away so that I can control everything. And until I met you, no one cared enough to push back. You're the first person to tell me when I'm being stupid; you challenge me. And… you still want to be with me even though I've been an idiot and hurt you."

"Of course I still want to be with you. I'll have you know that I intend to be with you for a very long time. Even if I have to drag you kicking and screaming through our relationship."

"You just might have to some days," Edward muttered sardonically.

I frowned and took his hand. "Don't say that. You're already working on what you need to, and I'll be here for you when you need me."

"Yeah but in the meantime I'm going to act like I'm bipolar. Mania one moment and depressed the next, you realise that, right? You're willing to put up with this?"

"Yep."

He lightly brushed my fingertip with his, the simple action sending shivers throughout my body. "So after you left my house Alice arrived an hour later. She never told me so, but I assume you called her."

"I did. I had to make sure you were okay. I didn't want you to be alone."

"I'm glad I wasn't alone," he whispered. "She made me go see this bitch of a counselor. Maria. She always said that she was trying to be my friend, and all I wanted to do was throw her framed diploma at her. But she made me 'talk about my feelings', and I'm assuming you know how that went."

"Well I assume you sat there like a petulant child refusing to answer anything until Alice made you."

"And you would be right," Edward chuckled. "It was so horrible in there. But she did make me admit that I find my value in how others see me. My father never spent much time with us. After my mom died he was so busy trying to support two kids and get through the loss of his wife. Of course now I also know that he threw himself into his work because a part of him couldn't handle being at home.

"He always gave Alice attention. She's outgoing, she would demand time from him, and Alice was his little girl, so that helped a bit. But when I tried to spend time with him…" Edward took a deep shuttering breath, "he was always too busy. He couldn't be bothered, was how I saw it. I really think he just thought I could handle it. I was quieter than Alice and I've never needed to spend a lot of time with people. Alice craved attention; she needed to be around people to be happy. I was happy on my own. So I think he just thought I'd brush it off as him being busy and I'd go read a book or play my piano.

"But I wasn't okay with it. I needed attention just like Alice. I just wasn't as forceful about it. My mom got that. She'd read to me before I went to bed. She taught me the piano, and always told me how well I played. She was a hovering presence around me at all times. I always knew that she knew what I was up to and what I needed. My dad wasn't like that. So I found new ways to get attention. I've never been a child prone to acting out, so instead I hyper-perfected myself, I guess you could say. I had to do everything better than everyone else. If I wasn't going to succeed, I wouldn't do it. It started with the piano and I think that separated my father from me more. The piano was my mom's thing and it reminded him of her. He never told me to stop, but if he were in the living room when I begin playing he'd immediately leave. I just thought it was because I wasn't as good as mom, yet. So I worked to get better. Then it moved on to grades, my habits, even how I drove had to be perfect."

I listened to Edward closely, my heart breaking for this man that I loved so much. I couldn't imagine growing up feeling like I had to do every little thing perfectly otherwise I wouldn't be worth attention. Hell, my family was thrilled when I got a D in Math, just because it moved me up a level.

I wanted Edward to know unconditional love. I wanted to switch lives with him, so that he could grow up with the little house in Texas, an annoying as hell sister, and a mother and father that would support him, love him, and comfort him.

Except that he did know unconditional love. He just didn't know what that looked like, and I resolved that he soon would. I would show him.

"Have you talked to your dad about this?" I asked.

"A little. Mostly just asking him about what was going on in his head at the time. I didn't… I'm not ready to tell him everything. I don't want to push him away now that I've just got him back."

"Love, you won't –"

"I know, but I'm still not ready. Maybe I won't ever be. But I do know that he's proud of me."

"Of course he's proud of you. You're something pretty fucking special," I boasted.

He snorted in wry amusement, but I got a smirk out of him, so I felt pretty good. Finally I asked the question I had been dreading all night. "And me?"

"And you." He said softly. He scooted closer to me and leaned against my side. I wrapped an arm around his shoulders, keeping his hand firmly in my other one. "You were so busy with the end of the year I didn't want to be a bother. And before you say it," he said firmly just as my mouth was opening to contradict him, "I know that you wouldn't have seen it that way. But I did, and it's something I'm working on. Not assuming that people have better things to do than listen to me. Anyway, so eventually I started resenting the fact that you didn't just know what was wrong. I didn't want to tell you and feel like I was unloading my problems on you, but I also just wanted you to figure it out yourself so you could encourage me. Then I started feeling guilty because I was getting mad at you for doing something you weren't even aware of. And then, well, you know."

"You lost your shit," I stated matter-of-factly.

"Yeah."

"Well I should apologise too." I ran my fingers through his soft hair and his hot breath against my neck really wasn't doing much for my thinking abilities, but I needed to get all this out. "I was being selfish and not paying attention to you. Yes, I don't have to baby you or pander to your requests. But it's also not all about me. I had a lot to deal with, yes, but so did you. So I'm sorry that I practically forgot about your competition. I knew how big a deal it was for you."

"That's okay."

"So we both fucked up."

"Yeah."

"And we'll never do this again, right?"

"Well, not intentionally."

"That's all we can ask for, right?"

"I guess."

"Edward. Edward, look at me." I pulled away so that I could turn his head towards me. His green eyes met mine. "It'll be okay. We'll be okay."

He studied me, his unreadable eyes boring into mine. Then he smiled and leaned up, bringing our lips together. I ran my tongue across his bottom lip, asking for entrance, and his lips parted. Our tongues met, teasing and caressing. I didn't know how I had gone without this for three whole weeks. How had I gone without Edward's touch, his taste? Never again, I swore, the thought making itself more permanent when Edward nipped my lower lip.

I sure was making a lot of promises to myself today. But Edward was worth it.

I pulled away and stood, pulling Edward up with me. "It's starting to get cold. We should go inside."

Edward collected the trash and threw it in the bin while I boxed up the leftovers. With a final check to make sure we hadn't left anything behind – I was fine with leaving a napkin or two there, but Edward insisted we pick everything up and not litter – we walked hand and hand back to my apartment.

The moment I shut the door to my apartment, the sexual tension set in. I was very aware of Edward standing next to me. He walked past me and our arms brushed lightly, filling me with the desire to feel more of him. To feel his warm skin beneath my fingers, to have his body beneath mine, and to feel him around me.

It had been too long since I had been able to touch Edward, and everything in me craved the release and comfort that only Edward could give me.

I followed him into my living room, and blissfully smiled when I noticed that Edward had promptly closed the door on the hated bathroom. It made me remember the little things about him I had missed. Like his hatred of my dated bathroom, how he neurotically would stock my cabinets because he hated how I shopped for groceries, then when he was done stocking my kitchen he'd move on to cleaning my apartment. God, I loved that boy. Even when he was griping to me about how inept I could be.

I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist and settled my chin on his shoulder. "Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Sure."

I released him and pushed him down onto the couch. I grabbed the movie closest to me, practically threw it into the DVD player and got back to the couch as quickly as I could. As soon as I sat down, Edward's arms were around me. I leaned back into him and let his warmth surround me.

I didn't pay any attention to the movie. I was too busy trying to find a natural time to throw myself at Edward and ravish him. I knew that things couldn't go back to exactly how they were. Our argument and subsequent separation had changed us both, and I refused to pretend that they didn't.

I now knew what my life without Edward was, however short that period had been. And I knew I didn't want to experience that again. The argument had separated us, but more importantly it had eventually brought us together.

Now we both knew how important the other was, and walking away from this would be harder than it would have been before. For good or ill, we were in for the long haul.

I turned my head to look at Edward. He was staring straight ahead at the TV, but I could see how unfocused his eyes were. He wasn't paying attention to the movie anymore than I was.

I shifted myself up and around so that I was lying chest to chest with him. His eyes came back into focus as he watched me and I swore I saw a glint of lust flash through them.

"Hi," I said when we were eye level.

"Hi," he said in amusement.

"I'm not watching the movie."

"You're the one who suggested watching a movie."

"I know. That was a dumb idea. But I was really just trying to lull you into a false sense of security so that when I molested you, you'd go with it."

"That's funny, because I do feel very secure."

"So does that mean that if I jump you right now, you'll be comfortable with it?"

Edward smirked and before I knew it he was above me. "Who says you'll be the one to jump me? What if I want to jump you?"

I pretended to think about it while I lightly trailed my hands down his chest. "But you haven't tried to make it sneaky."

"I let you think that you'll be the one in control. I think that's pretty sneaky."

"Well yes, but," my hands traveled up and around his hips and spread across his ass, "you're really just jumping off my sneakiness. You need a new tactic."

"Fine, what if I'm just going to be blunt?" He pressed his hips forward, slowly grinding our growing erections together. My groan was stifled by Edward's lips devouring mine. "I want to fuck you," he whispered against my lips.

"You can't do that with your clothes on," I shot back.

"That's very true," Edward said. He grinned wickedly and slowly lifted his body off me, completely ignoring my protests and my hands trying to pull him back down.

I went up to rest on my elbows as I watched him slowly unbuttoning his shirt. I loved Edward when he was just wearing sweatpants and a tee-shirt, but something about him in his suit tonight… he'd already taken off the jacket but I made a mental note to make him wear it again sometime soon. I desperately wanted to grab the collar of the jacket and pull him against me, and then slowly slide it off his shoulders and down his arms.

My imagination began going wild as Edward revealed more of his smooth skin. I'd make him work off his 'Things Edward Must Make Up For with Sexual Favours or Food' list tomorrow. Today I wanted to cherish him and reconnect with him. Tomorrow I'd punish him.

The moment his shirt was off, I launched myself towards him, curling my fingers into his hair. My other hand went to the button of his pants, trying to open it. I fumbled several times because it's damned difficult to try to unbutton something with one hand when a gorgeous man is rutting against you and your other hand is busy pulling him closer. Frustrated, I growled and wrenched myself away from Edward to glare at the button. Edward chuckled and made my job more difficult by latching onto my neck. With every suck and lap at my skin, my hands shook with lust and my coordination spiraled out of control.

Edward rarely took control during our lovemaking. Usually I was more aggressive and demanding and he was always willing to respond to my advances. However, this time Edward was dominating me. Making me his. Marking me.

It was the most seductive thing I had ever experienced in my whole life. Edward was showing me how much he wanted me and I was fully willing to let him.

I finally got the button undone and in one sweep I yanked his pants off and threw them across the room. My clothes followed soon after, and then we were finally warm skin against warm skin. My fingers trailed the length of his spine before dipping into the crack of his ass. He moaned and pressed himself closer to me.

"It's been too long," Edward murmured. He slid down my body until he was level with my erection. "I don't think I'll last long, so fuck the foreplay." He reached over to my bedside table and got out a condom and lube. With a snap of the cap, his fingers were coated and a slicked finger was sliding slowly into me.

"Be gentle, I haven't bottomed in a while," I asked. That earned me a smirk and a curl of Edward's finger. He slowly inserted another finger, stretching me. I lifted my hips, almost ready to burst if he didn't hurry the fuck up.

Three weeks of sexual repression, broken only by the occasional handjob in the shower, was finally about to end. And I needed to feel Edward inside me. My lust-filled brain somehow thought that by having Edward in me I'd be binding him to me permanently.

Edward rolled the condom on and I eagerly spread my legs to let him get as close as possible. He lay across me and I wrapped my legs around his hips, bringing his cock in perfect alignment with my entrance.

"I love you," He groaned, and slowly pushed himself into me. He paused to let me get used to him, and our lips naturally sought out the others. I delved my tongue into his mouth and wrapped my arms tightly around his torso.

"Move," I said against his mouth.

And he did.

He pulled out achingly slow, teasing me, before forcefully pushing back in. A pattern was soon established; Edward would drive me to the brink of orgasm before pulling back and keeping me on the edge. The feelings he was igniting in me were like nothing I had ever felt.

We were finally connected; we were finally together, the way we should always have been. My release was powerful and I could feel all the sadness, the anger, and the stress, dissolve. Edward followed soon after with a final thrust, before he collapsed on top of me. I wrapped my arms around him to keep him there. Being clean wasn't nearly as important as feeling Edward's sweat coated skin begin to cool against mine.

It was almost too much to believe and a part of me wondered if this entire night had been a dream. Like I would wake up tomorrow morning alone in my bed, still away from Edward. I tightened my arms around Edward to assure myself that this was real. I really had Edward back.

I could hear Edward's breathes deepening as he started to fall asleep. It had been a trying night, filled with many different emotions. Chief among mine was relief and joy. But we both deserved a night of sleep after reconnecting. I reached down and groped among my bed sheets, searching for the end. When I finally found a corner I pulled it up and over us and settled Edward's head into the croak of my neck.

"I love you, and I missed you," I whispered into his hair. Edward mumbled in his sleep and tilted his head further into my neck. I kissed his hair and leaned my cheek against the top of his head, before falling asleep.

I woke up to the smell of bacon. Really, there are few things that can get me up in the morning. Bacon just happens to be one of them. I spent a few seconds wondering where the bacon had come from, because I sure as hell wouldn't buy bacon. Well, I would, but I wouldn't cook it. So where had the bacon come from?

Then I heard Edward humming from my kitchen and I was instantly awake. Last night came back to me and I grinned brilliantly. I quickly got out of bed and pulled a pair of sweatpants on, then wandered into my kitchen.

Edward's tousled bronze head was bent over a sizzling pan of bacon, and I honestly didn't know which one looked more appetizing. With the way Edward's hips were moving to the song in his head, it spoke greatly to how hungry I was, and how much I loved bacon, that I wasn't yanking Edward back into the bedroom.

"Good morning," I said brightly. Edward twirled around, and his cheeks flushed at being caught doing whatever little dance he was doing.

"Morning."

"You made me bacon."

"Yeah, I woke up early so I decided to make you breakfast. But then," His eyes narrowed and I wondered if I should hide behind a cabinet, "What do I find when I get to your kitchen? Nothing! What have you been eating?"

"Well you haven't been here to shop for me," I said defensively, only moments later wincing at my words. "Not that I expect you to shop for me," I amended, hoping to hedge his anger.

"Seriously, what would you do without me?" Edward rolled his eyes and turned back to flip the bacon.

"I'd be a blubbering mess."

Edward scoffed, "Anyway, so I went out and got you some groceries. I was being nice in my post-orgasmic happiness so I bought you some bacon. But you have to eat it with grapefruit."

I scrunched up my nose in what I hoped was an extremely adorable way that would charm Edward into just giving me the bacon and maybe a Pop-Tart. "None of that," Edward scolded. "I'll even let you put sugar on it, but you're eating the grapefruit. Before your bacon."

He pushed a plate with half a grapefruit over to me and watched my every move as I poked at it with my spoon. I was fully aware that I was acting like a child. But it was grapefruit. Even with sugar I hated grapefruit. Well, not hated. I'd just rather have no fruit at all.

Edward pushed the sugar bowl to me and I dutifully put some sugar on my grapefruit. Under Edward's watchful gaze, I took bite after bite of the bitter fruit. It was times like these that I wished I had dog to sneak food to.

When I was finally done Edward gave me a nod of approval and filled a plate with crisp bacon. The moment the bacon hit my mouth I groaned in ecstasy, "God I love you."

"You love me or the bacon?" Edward asked.

"I love you and I love bacon. I love you like I love bacon," I clarified around my mouthful.

"Wow, I've moved up the scale. I'm now with bacon love. What's next?"

"Nothing. You and bacon are at the top of my love list."

"Well don't I feel honoured."

"You should."

"What about your family?"

"They're one lower than you. They rank with history. But as long as you never tell my mother, you and bacon are my favourite loves."

Edward swiped a piece off my plate and it took everything in my control not to slap him and growl.

"So what do you want to do today?" Edward asked.

Honestly, I wanted to keep Edward to myself. I had just gotten him back and I wasn't ready to share him with the rest of the world just yet.

"Let's just stay in. Watch a movie."

"Maybe finish the one we started last night?" Edward asked, eyes wide in mock-innocence.

"Maybe."

"Will we actually finish it this time?"

"I don't know, will you stop being so fucking hot?"

"Well, I guess I can try. I haven't showered yet, so my hair is a mess and disgusting."

"No, your hair looks like you've just had the fuck of your life. Considering I'm the one who made your hair like that, I find it quite sexy." I leered at him, like a predator stalking his prey.

Edward shook his head, "Okay, it's too early for that. You go put in the movie. I want a glass of water. Want something?"

"Soda?"

Edward didn't even grace me with an answer, I just got a look before he reached into the cupboard and pulled out two glasses. I assumed I'd be getting a glass of water as well. I tuned the DVD player back on and restarted the movie; I hadn't been paying attention to the movie at all last night, so restarting it wouldn't be bad.

I sat on the couch and when Edward returned he settled between my legs. Throughout the movie we couldn't keep our hands off each other. Light kisses, soft caresses, and intertwining of legs filled the hours.

It was halfway through the second movie when it happened.

"I've been thinking," Edward said, catching my attention.

"About what?"

"Us. I've been thinking about it for a while, but this morning I really thought about it. And it just feels right now, when it didn't before. It was too early, but it's good now."

I lifted myself up to look at him, "You realise I have no idea what you're talking about, right? You're essentially talking to yourself."

Edward let out a nervous chuckle, leaving me more confused. What did he have to be confused about? Had I done something? Had he done something?

"I know," He said. He ran a hand through his hair, "it's just that I've never done this before, so I don't know how to go about it."

"Informing the person you're talking to about the topic of conversation would be a good start."

He twisted his body until he was facing me. "Jasper, these past three weeks have sucked. They were really shitty and the entire time I knew it would have been better if only you had been there with me. And today when I was buying groceries, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was buying for both of us."

"You were, you had some of my bacon," I said, bemused.

"Just shut up, I'm trying to explain myself. I mean that I felt like I was shopping for our home. Like I would take these groceries home to our house, one where we shared a life together. And I desperately want that. I want to come home to you everyday. I want your shit to be all over my living room. I want to yell at you because you leave your shit all over our living room."

I held my breath; hoping and praying that the words I was anticipating would actually come. This was it. Something I had been secretly wanting for two months but had never suggested because I knew Edward wasn't ready was hopefully about to happen.

"So I guess what I'm trying to ask very poorly is, do you want to move in with me?"

I didn't even need a moment to think. There was no hesitation, no questions. This was exactly what I wanted.

"Yes."

A/N: Hope it was worth the wait. I think there're about two chapters left. Then I'm bouncing around some new story ideas in my head. One is a Jasper/Edward and the other is a Edward/Jacob.

Thank you all for reading and for all your reviews and support! Until next time, ~AJ Kelly