MCU (c) Marvel Studios

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle, I try to keep going but it's not that simple. I think I'm a little bit caught in the middle.Gotta keep going or they'll call me a quitter. Yeah, I'm caught in the middle. — Paramore

Sam would not have said it was awkward; he would have said it was somewhere between painfully uncomfortable to headache inducing. It didn't just affect him, it affected Wanda too. She kept having bloody noses due to focusing too much on her mental shields to keep out Steve and Natasha's loud thoughts, and he somehow always found himself ending up between them as if they consciously chose to sit on either side of him because they couldn't sit together like they normally did.

Sam had always noticed how Steve and Natasha behaved differently around each other. They always worked together at the facility, always stayed late too. (Rhodey tried to spread the rumor that Steve was secretly screwing her on his desk, he wasn't sure how well that caught on.)

And because he was so keen on their unique friendship (if they wanted to keep lying to themselves and call it that, then who was he to judge) he was the first to notice how Steve stopped trying to steal little touches whenever he was near Natasha. He was always very tactile: should bumps, friendly nape or shoulder squeezes, the good ol' pat on the back. With Natasha it was different: a subtle brush of her hand, a brief entangling of their fingers, his hand on the back of her neck, linking their pinkies together, a trailing finger across her shoulders. Sam never missed any of them. He didn't say anything though, knowing Steve thought he was being surreptitious in the way he touched Natasha. She never said anything about the little touches either; she'd merely smile, and they'd stare at each other for a heartbeat too long before pretending nothing had happened. Sam felt a headache come on whenever they did it. It was downright frustrating watching them.

In his opinion, Natasha was just as bad. She always had to be near Steve, always had to ask him questions she already knew the answer to, just to hear him talk, and what was worse was he'd give in every damn time. And the way she stared at him. It was not a creepy or uncomfortable stare, no, it was the way a cat or a dog watched their owner. This comfortable acceptance, the contentment of him being near her. It was as if they were having sex with their eyes. Sam almost wished they'd have actual sex, because the unresolved sexual tension between them was thick enough he'd probably need to get a laser to cut it. He had ear plugs for him and Wanda if Steve and Natasha proved too vocal in such amorous activities.

So, when there was a sudden lack of we-do-couple-things-but-we-aren't-a-couple between Steve and Natasha, Sam knew something was up. He also knew it was right after that night he walked in on them almost (they were always almost) kissing. He didn't dare ask Steve or Natasha; figured that whatever happened after he caught them almost kissing was the reason for the sudden weirdness between them. He also figured that since they were grown ass adults, they'd end up talking about it sooner or later. Obviously, he didn't know Steve Rogers or Natasha Romanoff very well if he thought thought.

They didn't talk. They just kept at being painfully awkward friends to almost lovers back to friends again. Once Natasha could walk they left the little abandoned house in the Armenian countryside and headed off again. Their new destination was in Poland, Steve had somehow acquired an old car while in Armenia and as they drove slowly towards Europe, they did odd jobs. He noticed that they didn't work as an effective team ever since Steve and Natasha had their… thing.

He didn't know what else to call it or how to approach them about it. Natasha took more risks and while Steve didn't try to boss her around, he didn't harp on her about them nearly as often as he used to. It was almost like she wasn't a part of their team anymore and both were trying to act like she was, Sam found it weird. He wondered if the rest of whatever this is, would be like this. The nights on the road were even worse because the sheer awkwardness of the situation settled like an uncomfortably fat elephant in the middle of everything. He just hoped that by the time they got to Poland, Steve and Natasha would have worked out whatever it was that they needed to work out. He didn't know if there was an alternative to their future as a team if they didn't.

They rumbled down the road, the old car was holding up much to his surprise. Steve was driving, he was in the front passenger seat, Natasha behind him and Wanda behind Steve. The car had no air conditioning and the air was sweltering and humid even at 100 km/h with all four windows rolled down.

"So, what's between you and Natasha?" Sam asked, once he was sure Natasha was dozing. Steve looked at him and then back at the road.

"Nothing," Steve said. The green pastures rolled by, sheep and their shepherds wandering aimlessly along. Mountains rose in the distance, grey silent sentinels with their snow-white caps of ice. It was beautiful countryside, with few settlements. The scenic route was safer and provided only small towns to pass through. Sam found himself enjoying the view out the window. "I promise Sam, nothing is going on between me and Nat."

"Was there something going on between you and Sharon?" he asked. Steve shifted in his seat. He frowned, it felt like Steve was trying to dodge something. Then again, his ass was sore from the old car seat.

"Natasha told me to call her and I did, we went out a few times." The car hit a small bump, bouncing with a metallic clunk. "Coffee."

"And?" He was surprised that Natasha was trying to set Steve up on a date. Even though he only knew them only a few moments when they crashed at his place, it was painfully obvious that they liked each other. And not in the platonic way either.

"And what?" Steve looked at him before looking back at the road. "And I walked her to her door, told her good night and went to my apartment. Look, Sam" — the car hit another bump and bounced again, Sam felt sick — "It wasn't anything fancy. She was busy, I was busy. I just didn't have any time to spare on — you know — actual courtship."

More like you didn't want to make time. He snorted, surprised that Steve didn't try to do anything more with Sharon. "Did you kiss before she helped us?" Surely Steve wasn't that old fashioned.

"That was my first time kissing her," Steve admitted after a long pause. Sam stared, blinking before he shook himself.

"First time… and you suck face like that." He couldn't believe it. "Did you doodle her? Tell me you doodled her in your notebook."

"You make it sound so crude," Steve said, wrinkling his nose, "I happened to think she enjoyed it." He glanced at him once. "A few times."

"I mean, I was happy for you, about time too, but" — Sam shifted in his seat — "have you ever done it?"

"Done what?" Steve asked, his ears going pink. Sam smirked.

"You know… Netflix and chill?" He mimed fucking with his fingers. Steve gave him a disgusted look. He couldn't help but laugh at that, sometimes Steve's old fashion-ness was amusing.

"No." He focused on the road. "No, Sam, I haven't. I haven't found the right partner. The one I want to spend the rest of my life with. Besides," he said, gesturing to the road, "God said it's a sin to have… fornications outside of wedlock."

"And you do everything God says to do?"

"I tried to live my life by His example, just like my mother taught me."

"And you do everything your mother told you?" Sam arched a brow.

Steve paused. "Most of the time." He glanced at Sam again. "What are you trying to get at?"

"How will you know you've found the right partner?" Sam asked. He had heard many people say they would wait until marriage before sex; he didn't know anyone that actually was able to wait that long.

"If this is about Natasha, she and I are just friends," he said. He slowed to a stop as a shepherd lead his flock across the road, the man waved at them in thanks, his fluffy white sheep bleating as they trotted across the road. "We're just friends." Steve twisted his grip on the steering wheel and pressed the gas pedal as soon as the last sheep had left the road. "Just friends."

Sam assumed the last one was more to himself than to him, so he let it go. "Uh-huh." He didn't believe Steve. He watched him glance up at the rear-view mirror more than once, and he had noted how Steve had it angled, more to the backseat than the road behind them. Natasha's face clear in the reflective glass. "If you say so man," he said, finally giving up.

"And," Steve said, "shared life experience. That's how I'll know I found the right one." He gave a wistful smile. "It's how I knew I found the right partner with Peggy."

"Steve." He felt bad for him honestly. Crashing the plane as he did and waking up seventy years later only to find the woman he had loved had lived her life without him. "She's gone."

"I know," he whispered, scratching his cheek. "But I still… hope that maybe—"

"Dude, if she comes back as a zombie—" he shook his head; he seen some shit as an Avenger, killer robots, men with metal arms and kids that shot webs from their wrists. He did not need to add plague of undead to the list. "So shared life experiences clue you in on 'the right partner' huh?"

"Yeah."

Sam nodded and glanced back at Natasha. "I see," he said, and looked out at the rolling Georgian countryside. They rumbled pass a sign that said they were nearing the Russian border. Sam glanced at Steve. "What are we going to do?" he asked.

"Same as always," he said and reached behind him, shaking Wanda and Natasha awake. "Hey, we'll be at the border soon."

"Do you want me to control their minds?" Wanda asked, yawning and stretching a little bit. "It's so hot."

"We shouldn't have a problem crossing the border," Natasha said, leaning between the two front seats. "Take that dirt road. If I remember correctly we're near a good traffic route."

"Traffic? As in like drugs?" Sam asked.

"Or people," she said, frank. "Back when Georgia was a part of the USSR, smugglers would use routes like this to get people out."

"And how do you know about them?" he asked, looking at her with a puzzled expression. He shuddered at the man-eating smile she gifted him. What the hell does Steve see in her? "Right, an op, go it."

"Knew you would, right Steve," she said. Steve nodded and pulled off the road onto a pothole infested dirt road that wound a serpentine trail through the forest. "If we get caught, let me do the talking."

"Alright." Sam grabbed the handle above the window, his other hand gripping the seat and the car creaked and groan, bouncing and jerking. The tall looming pines grew thicker, darker and more ancient as they went further along the road. He glanced at the rearview mirror, watching how Natasha grabbed Wanda's hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. "Besides traffickers, what else are in these woods?"

"Wolves, bears," Natasha said. "Nothing that'll hurt us. Of course, the locals have stories about supernatural things."

"Baba Yaga?" Wanda asked, her voice softly. "We had a version of her in Sokovia." The rear of the car bounced up, high and came crashing down with a wincing crunch. The front end dipped and trudged on with a groan. "You know how to fix a car?" Wanda asked.

"Uh, I know how to hotwire a car…" Steve glanced at him. He sighed and nodded.

"I'll look if it comes to that, but clunkers are usually pretty hardy," he said as they hit another bump. "I hope." He looked at Natasha. "How long is this road."

"How far away was the border?"

"An hour, I think?" Steve said. "It was in Russian, I couldn't read it."

"Cyrillic."

"Yeah, nobody can read that, Natasha," Sam said, "maybe Wanda but not me and Steve." He grunted as the car hit another bump. They fell into silence, the branches of the trees blocking out much of the sky, the dim light forced Steve to turn the headlights on and they tumbled along. After an hour and a half or maybe two, they reached a makeshift fence. Steve stopped the car and the four of them got out. Natasha walked up to it ran her fingertips along it. He got the impression that she been here before and was remembering the last time she was here. She lifted the wooden beam off the top and tossed it aside and then the other until the fence had a hole. He caught Steve's eye and got back into the car with him and Wanda. Natasha joined them once they had got through. They drove another hour before she told Steve to make a left and they finally reached the road. After a few more hours of driving they reached a small town with a motel.

They pulled into the motel parking lot, the car protesting all the while; it gave a sad sorry sigh once they got out, as if it was glad to be finally done with driving. He popped the hood and looked at the dusty engine of the poor car. "We need to get gas," he said, closing the lid.

"We don't have any roubles," Natasha pointed out. He sighed, looking up at the night sky. It was black as pitch and the lights prevented him from seeing stars. The yellow street light drew the moths to them, fluttering about in a light brown cloud. The crickets chirped in the bushes.

"We'll figure something out, I'm sure there's a bank around here." Steve said, rolling his shoulders and stretching his back after all that driving.

"Do you want me to drive tomorrow?"

"Please." He flexed his arm. "I haven't felt this stiff since I got outta the ice."

"Sure, about that soldier?" Natasha quipped, winking at him. Steve's ears went red. Sam groaned, rolling his eyes as he paced in a circle. He hated the fact that Natasha loved to tease Steve. He felt like sooner or later he'll have to sit them down and make them kiss just so they can get it out of their systems.

"Jesus Christ, you two, make up your damn minds."

"Steve doesn't like it when you swear," Wanda said, a mischievous smile curling on her lips. He threw up his hands in defeat. It was difficult being the voice of reason around here. Especially when it always ended up being three against one.

"Why did I even bother to come with you again?" he asked. He knew why. He was Steve's friend, he believed in Steve. It was why he became an Avenger, because he wanted to help people. It was why he joined the Air Force, why he worked at the VA; helping people.

Steve patted him on the shoulder. "We love you, man," he said. Natasha chuckled and went into the building. He followed her, with Steve and Wanda taking up the rear. Natasha was already speaking with the plump grey-haired woman behind the counter. He couldn't follow the Russian.

"Can you understand any of it?" he asked Wanda.

"Just because Sokovian is a Slavic language doesn't mean I can understand all Slavic languages," Wanda huffed. "I can recognize one or two words." Something the woman said made Natasha shake her head, and by her tone she was getting frustrated with the woman. Steve was besides her, hands on his belt buckle. "Do you know what's up?" she gestured between Natasha and Steve.

"I wish I knew. It's affecting the team," he said. The motel woman asked Natasha something and jerked her head towards Steve, who frowned and asked Natasha what the woman wanted.

"Husband?" Steve squeaked. He was surprised Steve Rogers could even squeak that high, his ears completely red. He would have found Steve's embarrassment amusing if he hadn't heard the clear hopefulness in his friend's tone. "Nat, tell her no."

"Da," Natasha said, and continued talking to the woman.

She said yes. Sam flinched when he heard Wanda's voice in his head, glaring at her when she giggled.

"I really wish you'd tell me when you do that."

"But I wouldn't get to see your face when I don't."

"And why would she say yes?" he asked as the woman pulled out two key cards. Wanda shrugged, and he wasn't sure if it was in response to his request or his question. Steve and Natasha came over, Steve was still pink-cheeked with embarrassment. He accepted the key card from Natasha.

"Two rooms that share a bathroom, she assured me there are two beds in each room," she said, "breakfast starts at seven and the bank opens at eight, we can get gas about a click down the road. So, we should be good for the night." Natasha smiled. "And she said that there's a laundry room we can use to wash our clothes."

"Thank God," he said. He needed to shower and wash his clothes and feel like a normal person again, even if it was only for a few hours. He missed his DC apartment and daily shower. "Lead the way," he told Natasha and the former Soviet spy smiled her killer smile and lead them to their little suit of rooms.

It was late. Sam looked at his watch, blinking at the glowing face and hands. He saw the numbers, but all his brain could supply him with was oh-dark-hundred. He could hear raised voices through the thin wall, but not the words. He groaned, getting out of bed to tell Steve and Natasha either kiss and make up or to shut the fuck up. He padded into the bathroom and cracked the door open.

Natasha was packing a bad, her hair damp and Steve was in a t-shirt and his boxers, looking distressed. "… they'll find you, Nat. They'll find and I—"

"I'll be fine Steve, I can take care of myself. I've done it before."

"But we're a team." He ran a hand through his hair. "You said you came because I called, that I needed you. I still need you."

"Are we?" the distress in her voice put an anxious frown on Steve's face, his hand flexing, longing to hold her and reassure her. "Steve, we haven't been working as a team since… since—"

"We just need to refamiliarize ourselves with working together as friends." He stood and reached for her but withdrew his hand, instead running a hand along his jaw. "Please, Nat, stay. We need you. Wanda needs, Sam needs you." He licked his lips.

She finished packing her bag and slung it onto her shoulders. "Steve, it's getting to be too much. I see you and…"

Sam closed the door a little bit more, hoping she didn't notice him. She was leaving, was their issues really that bad that she felt like she had to leave. He didn't want her to leave, he wanted her to fix whatever it was between her and Steve.

"Natasha, please!" Steve sounded so desperate. Sam cracked the door open a little bit more. "Don't do this. How many times do I have to tell you that you're wrong. Everything you have done with the Avengers, with Shield proves it! You are more than what they made you." He gave in and grabbed her shoulders. "More. So much more. You are strong and brave and kind, and you care so much about people."

"This isn't about my past, so stop making it about it, besides" — she clicked her tongue — "I've dealt with people talking behind my back. I know what they say about me" — there was a pause — "That treachery is in my blood; that I'll always be double agent."

"I trust you. I've always trusted you."

"I know." she said.

Sam looked over at the door when he heard the bed squeak, if Wanda came in here the game would be up, and he had a feeling Natasha didn't want to let everyone know she was leaving. "Then trust me, Nat." Steve's voice was soft, broken even. "I nee—"

"I have to, Steve, I have to." She dragged her hand down her face. "When I told Tony, I was going to find you I thought—"

The door creaked open, Sam pressed a finger to his lips and it startled Wanda enough that she woke up and nodded. She tapped her head. What are you doing?

"I'm eavesdropping, Natasha wants to leave, Steve is trying to convince her otherwise," he mouthed. Wanda's eyes grew wide, and she covered her mouth with both hands.

Oh no! She scuttled over to his side and joined him at the crack at the door. Steve and Natasha didn't say anything, but Steve was holding her hands, stroking the backs of them with his thumbs. "You'll always have a place on our team, Nat," Steve whispered. She merely nodded. "If… if you… we may be in Wakanda if you change your mind or—"

"I'll find you," she said. "I'll always find you." She pulled her hands away and hugged herself. "Steve, there is one thing I want to tell you."

"What is it?" he asked. She walked towards him, and Sam swore softly as they moved out of eyesight. He couldn't hear what they were saying. Next thing he saw was Natasha walking towards the door rubbing her nose. The door closed behind her with a soft click. He looked at Wanda. The girl hung her head, and he wrapped an arm around her.

"It'll be okay Wanda," he told her softly and gave her a squeeze.

"After Pietro's death… I thought I lost my only family, then I joined the Avengers and I thought I found a new family only for it to be torn apart." She conjured her magic, playing with a small ball of the red energy. "Steve's been like a father to me and Natasha is like a mother… to know she's leaving feels like—"

"I know," he said, "and it'll get better, Wanda, I promise." He squeezed her again before standing up and heading back to his bed. He sighed as he crawled back beneath the covers, staring at the dark ceiling. He heard the toilet flush and Wanda got into her own bed.

"Sam?"

"Mm?"

"Is Natasha—"

"No," he said. If he knew one thing, it was that Natasha would not betray them. She betrayed Tony to allow Steve and Bucky to escape. She left everything behind to find Steve. No, Natasha would never betray them. She wouldn't. No matter how many people said she was nothing more than a spy, a double agent, that betrayal was in her blood. "Steve believes in her, Steve trusts her."

"And we shall too," Wanda said.

"Exactly." He smiled at her in the darkness. "Get some sleep Wanda."

"Good night Sam."

He heard her roll onto her side and he placed an arm over his eyes and sighed. He didn't hear anything from the other room and he wondered if Steve was okay. He had to hope that he was. They needed him to be strong.

The next day Steve looked tired, but his eyes were dry. "Last night… Natasha decided to leave, work on her own. Considering our recent…" he stopped. "She felt it was best that she leaves. We'll push on though, continued protecting people. Just like always. We'll get there. So long as we stick together, we'll get there." He gave them a weak smile and went back to his room.

I'm not sure if I like this chapter, but I felt that it needed to be told from Sam's POV. It was the best way to show the awkwardness between Steve and Nat. I hope I did okay.

So, Natasha told Steve something important before she left, guesses as to what it is. Hint: it's a secret.

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Nemo et Nihil