"Alright," Okita sighs, shaking her head. "Master, I know you're trying, but you'll never be any good like this."

In the middle of a sparring mat scarred by many cuts and craters, Kana tries to push herself off the ground. But her arms are burning and she has no strength, so all she manages is to lift her face from the the ground. That's probably not a good sign. She hasn't been this spent since the time she joined dad on that one strike mission. "Ow..." Is all she manages. This round of sparring has not been particularly productive. Like, at all.

...Actually, thinking on it, sparring with Okita has not been particularly productive, either.

"Well, it can't be helped!" Nobunaga laughs. She's seated on a bench against the wall, legs and arms crossed, wearing a t-shirt and shorts and her (actually very nice looking) stupid hat. "Master, it's confirmed: you're weaker than a zombie with tubercolosis!"

"Nobu I told you I'm not a zombie!"

"You're undead, aren't you?" Nobu smugs.

"T-THEN SO ARE YOU!" Okita protests. "AND WE'RE MORE LIKE GHOSTS!"

"No, I disagree!" Nobu looks up to the ceiling, grinning wolfishly. "I don't have tubercolosis, and I'm no ghost! I am the DEMON OF THE SIXTH HEAVEN! WHO IS ALSO A KING!"

Okita sighs and clutches her head. "Ugh, I think I'm about to have a headache."

"Oh, careful Master! You'll get stained red again!"

"SHUT UP NOBU!"

"Fuhahahahahahahahaha NEVER!"

Kana finally gets enough strength back in her hips to roll onto her back, and she finally has the room to actually breathe. God, fighting with all your circuits on fire is agony. Like, okay, fine, she needs it to keep up with Servants. She suspects that with all of them going, she should be able to keep up with Agility B Servants for about three, four minutes, maybe hit at Strength C with Asriel. But problem with that is that she's still squishy as fuck.

Also Okita is an awful teacher but that's – actually no that's precisely the point, the only way she's going to make up for comparatively shitty base stats is with skill and goddamn all the skilled people in Chaldea cannot teach to save their life.

"Howwwww..." Kana gasps, lungs aching too much to say much more. Okita laughs nervously while Nobu continues cackling like a hyena.

"Ehe... Sorry, Master, I'm not sure how to put it into words?" The First Captain of the Shinsengumi looks awkwardly off to the side. "I mean, it's like a whoosh and a clang and a yaaa and then gwaaaa and then HAAAAAA and then BANG and then I win! Yay, great victory!" Okita briefly gets caught up in her own explanation and cheers. She quickly returns to earth with a blush. "A-And that's about it, I think?! I-I mean, I don't know?! I just shout SANDANZUKI a lot and I win?!"

"NP spamming is for plebs, bruh," Nobu says with a smirk. "Everyone knows the real damage comes from the buster crits at the end of an NPBB chain!"

"Hey oi don't mention that yet, that's a bit too meta don't you think?"

With her breath back, Kana activates a circuit or two and forces energy into herself. She sits upright, not panting nearly as hard. "The fuck are you two on about?" She asks.

"Don't think too hard about it," Nobu says casually. "At the end of the day, it's only a game!"

"Nobu you're making it worse. Please stop."

Kana sighs harshly and falls back onto her back. "Swords are haaaaaaaard..."

"They're not, though?" Okita asks quizzically.

"That's because you're an idiot," Nobu retorts reflexively.

"No YOU-"

As the two start bickering up a storm, Kana looks up at the ceiling with a disgruntled expression. So this is how today begins, huh?

Humanity died in 2026, burned to ashes by time fire

Chaldea seeks to undo the time fire by setting the time fire itself on fire

To do that it must first resolve the snarls in history, one at a time

Ideally using Servants to do so, because no one else can manipulate time fire

It's like, really hot

And atemporal, it might burn you retroactively or something

Anyways this is Kana's chapter

It's about time, this is supposed to be...

FATE/SUNNY ORDER

"Why do you try so hard anyways, Master?" Okita asks. "I mean, I'm always happy to test my blade! But don't you have better things to do? You're a Magus, right?"

Kana, halfway through hooking on the belts on her uniform, gives Okita an odd look. "Magus? I mean... I guess. Mom's a Magus, Rits is a Magus... It's sort of a mindset sort of thing, though. Magi seek out the Root. I'm not interested. I'm closer to a Spellcaster or something, Magecraft is just a tool." She looks away shyly. "I'm not much of a mage either, so honestly not sure if I even qualify as that."

"Ho?" Nobunaga asks. "Master, being down on herself? That won't do! Come, come, tell me what's the problem!"

"Nobu, relax!" Okita hisses. "It's a private matter so don't just bring it out into the open!"

"These things are like a bandaid, it can't be helped!"

Kana chuckles and adjusts her uniform. Mystic code: set. All's good. "My Element's Sword. Same as my dad's. Seems cool, right?"

"Yeah," Okita nods astutely. "You can cast sword magic, make them sharper, stronger, swordier... Mmhm, it's a good element, Master!"

"Yeah, see, I can't actually do any of that. My Element is unusual, and doesn't align with any of the five classic elements. So I can't use the majority of spells in existence."

"Oh," Okita says flatly.

"Ask Caster or something," Nobunaga suggests. "I'm sure she can magic something together to give you magic."

"That would be a mystic code. It won't be my own abilities, it won't be something unique to me, and it's probably going to take a lot of humiliation." Kana scowls at the mere thought. God, just thinking about being in that dress makes her want to puke. "I'll pass."

Her pink Saber brightens up. "Oh, Master, why don't you learn from your dad? He's figured it out, right? And you have the same element!"

"Yeah, I tried that too." Kana sighs and shakes her head. "Can't work. Dad's magecraft is fully unique and relies on his unique abilities that I did not inherit. And dad's not a good mage either, so I'd just be learning all the wrong lessons. Mom taught me some basic magecraft, and I have the same Magic Circuits, so I can utilise the family gemstone magecraft a bit... Buuuut Rits is way better at it because he's got an Element that is actually worth something." She sighs harshly and folds her arms. "And mom can't teach me the same magecraft he uses, because as stated I can't use the classic elements. So on that front, I'm fucked."

Nobu shrugs unsympathetically. "Jeez, Master, then the answer is simple! Forge your own path upon a mound of corpses, and seize your destiny! That's obvious!"

Okita glares at the Archer but says nothing. "Or you could try forging your own path, right?" She suggests hopefully. "Maybe you could sword? Oh! Or you could be a doctor!"

"Can't fix your TB, bloodbag. That's crystalised as your legend. It can't be helped~"

"SHUT UP NOBU NOT NOW!"

"I try," Kana says wearily. "I really do. I do swords, right? So I figured, if my element was crap for magic, maybe I can do sword things for real. King Arthur's my godma, I could figure it out! And I also learned some bajiquan from my mom, for unarmed combat stuff. I figured I could do both, maybe even unify them and make something only I can use!"

She sighs as Okita and Nobu look on hopefully and shrugs. "Didn't work. I lost interest. So I moved on to other stuff. Sciences, medicine, exploring, hiking, archery, just... Literally anything and everything I could do."

"Little bit of everything?" Nobu asks with a frown. "Jeez, Master, you can't just dabble and expect to be good at something. Gotta put in the work! Or be a genius, y'know, that also works. Like me!"

"Stop stabotaging your point, jeez," Okita grumbles.

"I mean I was?" Kana says. "I'm in a family full of geniuses. Mom's a magical prodigy and just straight up smart, Rits is also a magical prodigy, and dad's a freak who can read the history of any sword at a glance, replicate even legendary blades with little effort, and despite being a lawyer running his own firm finds the time to assassinate terrorists on a regular basis. And, of course," she adds, rolling her eyes, "King Arthur is my godmother."

"Still surprised King Arthur is a girl," Nobu says glumly.

"I swear I've seen her somewhere," Okita mumbles significantly.

"I'm a normie in a household full of geniuses. I dabble to find the one thing I'm good at, so I can say I'm a genius too." She sighs and shakes her head. "Got nuthin'. I've got a skillset wide as an ocean and deep as a puddle. Well, except swords and kung fu, but that's only because I've had it literally beaten into me. Plus basic magecraft like reinforcement, and I can do a bit of Gandr and Projection – except Projection is useless unless you fill the exceptional circumstances of being my dad."

Nobu looks at her Master. Okita looks at the ceiling. They must be shocked. Most people are when Kana mentions her frustrations. It's like everyone expects her to be a happy-go-lucky jokester without a care in the world all the time. But problem is, she's not. She'd like to be. But that is probably not for a while.

"...It's another part of why I wanted to come to Chaldea," Kana says. "Besides the 'save the world also see history' part. I wanted to be a Master. Prove I could be the best damn Master ever. Better than anyone else who has ever owned a set of Command Seals." She exhales sharply. "Guess what. Ritsuka does more commanding than I do. All I do is talk to people and discuss strategy. I'm still worse than him. And I'm the one who dragged him here."

"I'm sure there are things you're better at though, Master!" Okita says quickly. "Like talking to people! Making friends! Swinging a sword!"

"Hefting a pair of giant cow-tits aro—GAH!"

Okita bonks Nobu on the head again with the hilt of her katana for good measure before sheathing it gracefully. "I'm sure there are plenty of things you do better than him! Don't feel down, speaking honestly I think everyone likes you better!"

Kana smiles, and pretends she didn't hear Nobu. "Thanks, Okita. But everyone seems to listen to him more."

"You tolerate our bullshit more," Nobunaga tells her, adjusting her cap and making sure the badge isn't dented. "That's something, right? You let me do more things!"

"No bombs," Kana says firmly.

"DAMMIT!"

"...At least these aren't like Aunt Sakura's, dear god what a..." Kana shakes her head and clenches her hands. She bats her self on the cheeks and stands up. "No, stop being down! I've got things to do! A world to save! If I can't support my Servants with Magecraft, I have to support them in other ways!" She looks over at the Demon Archer, a fire in her eyes. "Nobu! Fight me!"

"You sure?" Nobunaga asks, her voice a low growl. She bares her teeth in a feral grin. "I won't go easy, you know? Except that I won't kill you. That would be bad. But everything else goes!"

"Uh, Master," Okita says, "Y-You're our anchor, so... You should try to fight as little as possible..."

"I am not going to let myself get vampire'd again! And if I don't do anything, I'm literally just a mana battery! FIGHT ME, OKITA!"

"We just did, tho—BWAH!"

Okita Souji, genius swordswoman and excitable cinnamon roll, falls over after coughing up roughly a fifth of her body weight in blood. Kana runs up to her immediately and keeps her from hitting the ground. "DON'T DIE OKITA!" She wails. "CHOOSE LIFE!"

"This... is the fifth... goddamn... time..." Okita weeps. "Why..."

"...Right." Kana picks her up in a bridal carry and nods at Nobu. "Fight's cancelled. I'm taking her to medbay. No trouble, alright?"

"...Hmph! It can't be helped, but I still want a fight!" Petulantly, Nobu stamps her feet. "I will stay here until I get my fight! This is my creed, as Demon King!"

"Awesome. Tell me how it goes." Kana leaves, concerned for Okita, before Nobu can cackle about how she's going to put cannons everywhere.

"You know, when I said we should get drunk together, I didn't mean getting drunk myself while you fed me beer."

"So would you rather we got drunk together and then no one feeds you beer?"

"Eh, good point." Downing another beer, Lancer slams the empty glass on the counter and slides it across to Archer. "Man that's good! You know, Archer, with how stiff and lifeless you are, it's scary how good you look as a bartender!"

Saber, beside him, nods in agreement, both of her hands cupping a half-drained cup of green tea. "Yes, I agree. And I'm impressed at your skill at mixing drinks."

Archer shrugs as he cleans Lancer's glass, polishing it to a mirror-like sheen in seconds. "I'm not sure what the kid did, but I worked at a few bars in between journeys, getting my finances back up. And it's a good way to get information." He frowns at Saber. "The only thing you've drank so far is that tea, though."

"Yes, and you mixed it." She looks brightly at him. "It is delicious. I thank you again, Archer."

"...Right." Instant-mix green tea aside, he turns to Lancer. "So, had enough?"

"Who? Me?" Lancer laughs and claps his hand on the barstool next to him. The large pyramid of upturned glasses next to him on the counter clatters slightly. "Never! Hit me, Archer! Another!"

EMIYA slides him another beer, and Cu Chulainn slams half of it down in an instant. "Kuh! It's like water, but I'll drink it anyways!"

Archer frowns while Saber looks on, enraptured. Did they really come just to watch a Celtic spearman drink like a fish? A bar is for conversation. Drink at home, Lancer.

"Did you really come just to drink like a fish?" Archer says out loud. No sense keeping that bit of wisdom in, considering Lancer might be the single largest consumer of booze in Chaldea right now. "Drink in your quarters, Lancer."

"I will, after I set up my still," the Lancer waves off. He turns to face Saber. "Old bastard has a point, though. Let's chat, Saber!"

Saber, halfway through sipping her tea, nods. "Of course. What would you like to discuss, Lancer?"

"Hm…" Cu strokes his chin. He raises his finger, like a light just went off above him. Archer checks, just to be safe. Damn impeccably talented irishman. "Oh! Saber, I hear you told Gold Archer off the other day!"

"He was harassing me like it was the Fourth and Fifth War," Saber says, her mood suddenly soured. The King of Knights gives a small, cruel smirk. "I decided to give him a bit of a tongue lashing. And he listened."

"Mmhm, not bad. But I think I heard something about being more of a man than he is?"

Arturia tilts her head quizzically. "I don't know what you mean?"

"Heard it from him the other day! Apparently your dick's-"

Saber's stare suddenly stretches to the everdistant utopia of Avalon, far beyond the realms of incinerated men and even Chaldea amongst the stars. Her expression goes blank, her skin turns pallid, and she starts shivering.

Lancer stops himself and raises an eyebrow at her. "Eh? Saber, you there?" He waves his hand before her eyes. No response. He jabs a punch at her face, stopping right short of her nose. Still no response. Lancer tries to summon Gae Bolg to poke her, but finds a black falchion between him and the blonde King of Knights.

"Sir, you are disturbing my clients," Archer says politely Kanshou and Bakuya in hand. He heard about the… confrontation between Gilgamesh and Saber the other day. She must not have realised what she said, what with being in a state of zen. Of course she would have blanked out the memories out of sheer shame. "Kindly leave the bar, or I might have to get physical."

"Ho?" Lancer turns to face him, spear pointed at his feet. "You know, I was just trying to see if she was fine, but if you want a fight I'm happy to-"

"Oh, Archer-dad, gimmie a coke with a tiny umbrella! And a tomato juice for Okita, please."

Like a silk carpet, Kana glides smoothly into the middle of their dispute, a dazed Okita flopped on the stool right next to Arturia. Her cheerful smile disarms Archer in an instant, and Lancer puts his spear aside the moment he realises she's there. Archer nods and smiles kindly at her, while he turns to the taps. "Of course, Kana. Would you like it in a mug?"

"Seems like a lot, give me a cocktail glass. Oh, and drop a lemon in it!" Archer nods and gets to work. Patting her hands on the counter, Kana turns to Cu. "So what was all that about?" She asks innocently.

"Ah," Lancer says and smacks his lips. Archer tenses. "Yeah, I was asking Saber about making Gold Archer feel dick-conscious, but then she shut down and Archer threatened me while I was making sure she was fine?"

Archer starts to protest his case, but Kana's reply puts him at ease instantly. "Yeah she didn't like that she had one. Every so often at night, when mom and dad think we're sleeping, Aunt Arturia would loudly scold her wizard about it." She frowns and bites her lips. "Apparently it's kind of her fault? She walked into his workshop and touched things she really shouldn't."

"Ah, mmhm," Lancer nods sympathetically, "You don't want to do that. One time, I was messing with my teacher's stuff on a dare - because I was bored, dumb kid stuff - and I got hexed. Couldn't get it up for a year." He shudders at the memory. "I really should apologise to Aoife, but really… she liked it. Also it was her sister's fault so whatever."

Archer starts to wonder about the Ulster Cycle, but then stops himself. This really isn't worth his time.

"Unfortunately for Aunt Saber here," Kana adds casually, "Apparently Merlin decided it was hilarious, and so started sticking it on her whenever he thought it was funny. So basically all the time."

Still gazing upon ever-distant lands, Arturia whimpers at the memory. Kana pats her comfortingly on the head, as Archer slides her coke-in-a-cocktail to her. She takes a sip and delights in the taste adorably. "Mm! Fizzy! Thanks, dad-A!"

"Father, Archer, or anything except dad-A is fine," Archer grumbles.

She faces Lancer, taking another sip. "Anyways, I'd advise not mentioning anything like it to Aunt Arturia ever. It'll either shut her down like now, or she'll fly into a rage and spank you until you beg for forgiveness."

"Uncharacteristically violent for King Arthur," Cu says. He nods as he sips a beer. "But understandable. So how does she get out of this?"

"She tends to calm down after an hour or two," Kana explains, with all the grace and experience of someone who's had to deal with this before. "But if you need to get her up and about quickly, just blow air in her ear. Either one works. Don't do both though, she'll get mad."

Archer looks at her with concern, still cleaning cups. "...How do you know this?"

"Rits is a dork who sometimes forgets himself and asks about Merlin, and then she shuts down whenever she recounts or remembers one of those stories." Kana shrugs as she downs the rest of her coke. "Then he breaks down for breaking her down, and I have to deal with it. It's kind of our thing."

"...Ah." Archer does not let his thoughts appear on his face. As it turns out, Kana might be a lot more considerate than he thought.

"...Always wondered how it would be like, though," she says thoughtfully. "Seems like it would be inconvenient. Always getting in the way of your legs." Kana looks brightly at both Lancer and Archer. "You two have them! What's it like?"

"Couldn't care less," Archer says flatly.

"Couldn't be prouder," Lancer says proudly.

"Hm. Data inconclusive, need more sources." Kana slides her cocktail glass back at Archer and hops off her stool. "Welp, onto my rounds! Please keep feeding Okita tomato juice until she gets better, girl failed a constitution check. Don't bully Auntie too much, she'll get mad!" She claps Saber on the shoulders for emphasis; the King of Knights doesn't even register it. "Alright, bye!"

Archer and Lancer both wave as Kana disappears, somehow both like a silent wind and a tornado at the same time. They exchange looks, but the moment is long dead. There's no point fighting anymore. It would be awkward.

"...Interesting daughter you got there," Lancer says slyly.

"She's not my daughter," Archer retorts. "But she is, yes. Apparently she takes after me."

"You? Seriously? I don't believe it." Cu smirks and leans in closer. "Fun fact, though, if you're interested."

"Hm?" Archer leans in. Lancer's senses are usually sharp. This might be useful, or at least amusing.

Cu's eyes seem to sparkle with mischief. "Did you notice that the young Master didn't say 'dick' once the entire time? Like she's squeamish. And she definitely is. She screamed and shut down the other day when I wrestled Gilgamesh naked!"

"You what." Archer takes a step backwards, gasping in horror, and points at the monster. "You what?! She's just a girl!"

"Hey, you gotta admit, it's hilarious."

"...A little, yes," Archer admits. He somehow feels like he's betraying part of himself. But what's new? He looks up at Lancer, eyes narrowed. "I'll give you vodka if you don't speak of this ever again."

Lancer slams his empty mug onto the counter. "Sold!"

"Ah, Master. Good morning."

"Morning!"

Kana waves as she squats down besides her white-haired Saber, the girl daintily sprinkling fish food into the pond before her. There were many gardens in Chaldea, and this one had a fish pond. It was empty for a long time, the fish considered a waste of money by Director Olga-Marie, and then an unreasonable timesink by acting-Director Roman. But when Altera expressed an interest to raise something, Ritsuka and Kana decided to have her look after the fish instead.

And it is Altera now, not Attila; after the confrontation against the Scourge of God in Rome, Lev Uvall's last spiteful act of defiance, the Saber had an epiphany about herself. Despite her short time with Chaldea up to that point, the humanity she developed and her confrontation with her destruction-driven self made her see. She no longer walks the path of the Scourge of God; Altera seeks to do something else now.

For now, that something is feeding goldfish. Probably the most harmless thing a Servant could do. It is also boring as sin, but she seems to like it.

"So how's the fish?" Kana asks. Altera smiles softly as she continues to sprinkle food into the water, the fish within gobbling it greedily. They seem big and healthy; a far cry from a few weeks ago.

"Hungry," Altera says quietly, still smiling.

"Mmhm," Kana nods. "They sure are fat!"

"Yes... Fat."

They stay there, squatting by the side of the pond. It is nice and peaceful, just listening to the sounds of water sloshing. The park experience is ruined by the lack of bird noises and the lack of a proper breeze, but this is also nice. The grass is real, the sunlamp isn't a deadly laser, and they have fish now! It's nice and peaceful. And the perfect setting to discuss things with the avatar of destruction next to her.

"So," Kana nods, turning to Altera. "Any urges recently? Compulsions to murder violently – or violently murder?"

"...Some," Altera admits. She stops feeding the fish at this point; they've had enough, and fewer have been coming up for noms. Kana keeps looking at her, attentive but not concerned. "Less, now. When I feel like breaking stuff, I come here. Sit with the fish." She smiles again, and holds her hand over the water's surface. "Fish are good civilisation."

"They are," Kana nods. She leans back, propping herself up by her arms and stretching her chest out – but not too far, mind the belts or they'll cut into her ribs. "I lived in a coastal city, you know? Could visit the beach whenever I felt like!"

"Coas...tal?" Altera turns to her, head tilted. "Master?"

"Oh, coastal means by the sea."

"Ohhhhh." Altera nods, happy to learn something new. "Many fish?"

"Lots," Kana beams. "I used to love going to the beach. Went there basically every week if I could! I'd swim, chase the waves, get chased by the waves, explore the coast, dig myself a sandcastle... Fun stuff! Active stuff!" She sticks her tongue out. "Except sand. Eurgh. It's coarse and rough, and it gets everywhere."

"Mm," Altera nods. "Sand is bad civilisation."

"Yeah. But sand is also good sometimes. Gives us glass!" Kana pulls out a set of spectacles to show her; one of the new Leo Lenses that Da Vinci is letting them prototype. "Glass is nice. We can see and still have a barrier!"

"...Sand is okay civilisation?"

"It is when it's glass," Kana grins. "Glass is pretty great! Sand is... well I guess some people like it. Never met those people, though. Must be weirdoes."

"Ah."

They sit there in silence again, watching the fish. It's calming, in a way. Just watching them swim around in a colourful underwater world, not a care in a world. Nope, just swim and eat. Maximum chill.

"Master." Kana looks up at Altera again, the Saber tilting her head again. "What happened? To the beach?"

"Oh, that." Kana looks down, thinking of an answer. Ever since she turned fifteen, she started turning heads. It was around when they started. Then she stopped being able to futz around on the beach doing whatever. What a shame. "The weather got worse at one point so we stayed home," Kana shrugs. "And eventually I just kind of got bored. Still visit it sometimes though, but never alone. Still nice when the weather's nice, though!"

"Mm." Altera keeps looking at her fish, as serene as she ever could be. "I want to go to a beach."

"When we find a Singularity like that, we'll all go," Kana says happily. "It'll be a holiday! All of us, and the ocean, and the sun. And sand, but eh. The rest is worth dealing with sand."

Altera nods. She smiles softly and returns to watching the fish. Kana turns to them too, watching and relaxing until she has to go.

"...Altera?"

"Yes, Master?"

Kana points. "Why is that one rainbow?"

Altera looks closely at it. Indeed, the goldfish has rainbow scales, or is starting to grow them. "I'm not sure, Master. Is that bad?"

"...I kind of like it."

Altera nods. "Rainbows are good civilisation."

"Yes." Kana nods, "Yes they are."

"Ah, Master!" A loud voice ends the peace, and Kana sees Gilgamesh walk over in full casual attire; black jacket and jeans, plus a white shirt underneath. He holds a clear flask in his fingers. "I wish to be amused, drink this!"

"Let's not," Kana says flatly.

Gilgamesh laughs loudly. "Fuhahahaha! Good, I am amused!" He tosses the flask over his shoulder and into a portal before standing over the two of them. He looks at Altera with a frown. "Hm? Who is this, another Saber?"

"Oh, right, you haven't met everyone." Kana stands and helps Altera to her feet. "This is Attila the Hun, but she prefers to go by Altera now. She's the Scourge of God!"

Gilgamesh looks closely at her, eyes narrowed. "The White Titan," he whispers, low and serious. Altera twitches at the name.

"The what?" Kana asks. She frowns. "Gilgamesh, that's racist!"

"No, it is wrong. Calling an American a 'White Titan' would be racist."

Kana realises that Gilgamesh is correct. He might be cannier than expected. But nevermind that. "Anyways, what's the White Titan?"

"Never you mind, Master. It's in the past!" He looks at Altera again with that same, discerning eye. "But I wonder... Are you still driven to destroy?"

Altera looks up at him petulantly, like a grumpy child. "Archer is Bad Civilisation," she grumbles, and points at the fish pond behind her. "Scaring fish. Bad."

Kana glances over. Indeed, the fish have all moved into the part of the pond that is as far from Gilgamesh as possible. Does his authority extend that far?... Or does he actually smell and she just can't tell? Man that would suck. Smelling bad and not even realising. But Gilgamesh wouldn't let himself smell bad... Right?

"Hm?" Gilgamesh looks at her with an eyebrow sharply raised. "And what does it matter that the fish are scared? I am King. The fish are nothing."

"Wrong," Altera says firmly. "Fish are cute. Archer is Bad Civilisation."

"...Cute?" He looks at Kana with sudden fierceness that would have shaken anyone else, but she's long since stopped being startled by that sort of thing. Helps that she grew up around King Arthur. "Master, what is this? Why does she care about what is and is not 'cute'?"

"I left her with Medea for a couple hours after she was summoned," Kana explains casually. She probably shouldn't; it's actually a big problem. "Ever since she's been obsessed."

"...You actually induced a human desire into a living weapon. Something as basic as 'cuteness', but you still did it." Suddenly, Gilgamesh throws his head back and laughs. "FUHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA! INCREDIBLE! SIMPLY INCREDIBLE! You might actually be a terrifying beast, Master!"

"I try," Kana says brightly. She frowns. "So, what's the problem?"

"I was bored and needed entertainment." Gilgamesh sticks his hand into a newly-formed Gate and pulls out a pair of expensive sunglasses. "I have been entertained, and very quickly. Well done, Master! Carry on!"

He strides out of the garden, leaving Altera and Kana by the fish pond again. The peace has been destroyed. It will take a long time to find it again.

"...Archer is strange civilisation," Alter says flatly. "...Not bad, strange."

"That basically sums it up," Kana nods. She always figured King Gilgamesh would show up in Chaldea at one point or another – the Original Hero is not someone who would keep away from their mission for long – but she expected someone prickly, disrespectful, and extremely difficult to work with... Not this ball of joy and chaos. He's like a child on holiday, just having fun and playing with the others to his heart's content. That the people he runs into also have fun is accidental, but it's a good accident? Well, whatever, as long as he's happy.

Her phone buzzes abruptly and Kana pulls it out. "Y'ello? Sup?"

"Kana come to the summoning chamber immediately it's an emergency," Ritsuka half-shouts, half-cries across the line. "Come now please NOW PLEASE."

Wow. Someone needs to chill. "I'm on my way," she says and ends the call. Kana waves at Altera. "Alright, time to go! Have a good day, Altera!"

Altera waves back, robotic but trying. "Bye, Master."

She squats back by the fish pond, and continues looking at the fish. Fish are good civilisation, after all.

"Honestly, Rits, I'm sure Mashu could have—uh."

Standing at the door to the summoning chambers, Kana looks in, blinks, and blinks again. Ritsuka is on his knees before a small girl with long purple hair sitting imperiously on a stool, kneading her feet with his hands. He seems absolutely enraptured with her. Behind the small girl stands a statuesque woman with incredibly long hair of the same shade, meekly hugging herself.

"...Shirou's daughter?" She whispers.

Kana raises one finger. She lowers it.

This is absolutely disgusting.

"Ritsuka motherfucker Tohsaka, what the hell are you doing?" Her words do not quaver, she does not raise her voice. Kana makes a calm inquest at him.

Ritsuka looks over at her, far too happy to be her beleaguered and hysterical twin brother. Like, he's usually a drama queen with no chill. This boy is nothing but chill. It slightly concerns her. "Kana!" He says happily. There is an odd edge in his voice. "Have you come to pay tribute to the fair Goddess, Stheno?"

Ah. That explains a lot. This is probably a noble phantasm in process. This looks like outright mind control and fuck that's creepy. Kana sighs and walks towards the little girl, the eldest Gorgon in the flesh. "Hi, in case you haven't already realised, I'm that idiot's sister and your other Master." She offers a polite smile. "Kana, at your service."

The tall woman frowns. "Sakura?" She whispers, and realises too late that the acoustics of the summoning chamber are actually really good.

"...Uh." Kana looks at the tall woman in the back. Wow she's tall. Like, not that tall, but tall for a girl! "Wait, how do you know-"

"So you're the one the imbecile called to save him," Stheno scowls, her delicate features sneering and imperious. "Do you know what he did?"

Kana lets out a breath. What did that imbecile do? "Okay, Rits is kind of an idiot, but he's not an imbecile."

"I am whatever lady Stheno says I am," Ritsuka says, happily entranced.

"And if she said you would look fantastic in a dress?" Kana counters.

"Then I would happily wear one," he replies. Kana's eyes bulge. That did not just happen. Ritsuka looks over at Stheno immediately. "Would I, milady? Would I?"

"...We will see, later," Stheno says. Yep, looks like the good old Crossdresser EX is still operational. But that's uh, not a great sign.

Kana sighs. "Yes, he called me and I came the minute I could. What did the stupid nerd do?"

Stheno snaps her fingers. "Meduseless, tell her."

Medusa? Oh boy.

"Yes, eldest big sister." The youngest Gorgon steps forward, hands clasped over her abdomen. "It started not long after I was summoned…"

The light dies, and she feels her form solidify. Another incarnation, another life. But this time, she does not compete for a grail. Maybe she will find some sort of redemption, before the monster takes over aga-

"WHAT?! SERIOUSLY?!"

Medusa frowns through Breaker Gorgon, and sees her Master standing shocked before her. He stands just slightly taller than her, right above her eye line. It's shameful how she can even meet his gaze… If only she weren't so disgustingly tall.

"Servant Rider, answering your summons. If you wished for a sacrifice, feel free to-"

"Oh. Oh, no no no!" The boy quickly shakes his head. "No, I'm happy to summon you! This is just the first time… I can't believe it actually worked! A Servant! I summoned a Servant!"

Medusa looks oddly at her new Master. Somehow, he seems familiar… Wait, that hair and those eyes… The boy seems to resemble Rin. And more than skin deep; the way he stands, the way he's rambling… he has her mannerisms.

So that's how it is. Rin won, in the end. What a shame, Sakura. But it is not the end. There will be other loves, other boys who will treat you well. Like Ayako's younger brother… Hm, isn't that a thought...

"You're Medusa, right? The Gorgon?"

"Ah?" She nods at her Master. "Yes, I am. Doesn't that concern you?"

The boy shrugs. "Honestly, I'm just happy I called on someone for once! I'm Ritsuka Tohsaka, looking forward to working with you!" He extends a hand, which Rider takes after several seconds. This is… odd. Acceptance, from a new Master? And so soon? He can't possibly be Rin's son. Maybe Shirou's influence shines through strongly.

"Well, I've got one more attempt," Ritsuka tells her cheerfully, showing off four gemstones. She nods and stands by the side. Her Master tosses the gems into the summoning circle and three golden rings bloom from it, before a gold-white pillar hits the ceiling. "Wait, did it just-"

Standing in the ring is a diminutive figure, her hair done up in long pigtails, wearing a loose and breezy toga. "Rejoice, Master," she titters, her voice girlish yet imperious. "You've called upon a Goddess~"

"E-Eldest big sister?" Medusa blurts out. Stheno looks at her, and visibly stops herself from leaping forward to hug her. Of course she wouldn't; she is a Goddess, an ideal of beauty. She has standards. But even so, these tears in her eyes… they are real…

She never expected to be reunited in a place like this…

"Medusa," Stheno gasps, but then her shock turns into malicious glee in the blink of an eye. "I see you're still tall as ever. How monstrous."

The pain that shoots through her is not from mortal injury, but a spiritual wound that can never be healed. Medusa falls on her knees in a bid to hide her height, even if it is hopeless. "Yes…"

Ritsuka frowns. "Hey, that's not nice. Apologise to her, Stheno."

The eldest Gorgon turns to their Master. "Hora~? A mortal recognises us?" Her grin turns sneaky. "Well then, you might be interesting to play with…"

"Yeah, no, not going to happen," Ritsuka says flatly. "I'm not into children."

Somehow, somewhere, the air shatters like glass. It's an interesting phenomenon, that. Glass shattering is basically never good. Even a monster like her knows this. It's why they do their best to break it as much as possible.

"C-Children… how impertinent!" Stheno stamps her feet childishly and pouts at Ritsuka. "On your knees now, pig! Beg for forgiveness and we may yet spare you the worst!"

"Yeah, no, I'm… christian-ish," he says, trailing off at the end. "Hm, honestly I've never thought about it… But if I was going to worship the Gorgons I'd pick Medusa. Sorry. Love the hair colour, though."

Medusa looks up, tears staining her eyes beneath Breaker Gorgon. This boy would love her, a hideous, gangly monster, as a Goddess?

Stheno gasps. She does a bit of a twirl. "Y-You fool! Don't we dazzle you? Isn't our appearance the true desire of men?! Love me!"

"Yeah, no," Ritsuka says flatly. "I'm not into lolis. Might go to jail, and honestly the Internet is wrong. Flat is not justice."

His final statement hangs in the air. Both Stheno and Medusa look shocked at him.

Ritsuka scratches the back of his head sheepishly. "Yeah… Sorry, that was rude, I more meant to say-"

"UNACCEPTABLE!"

Mana overflows from her small body, an unyielding ocean that threatens to swallow him whole. Primal fear grips him. Medusa knows why; his instincts as a Magus tell him that Servants only unleash their power when they deploy their Noble Phantasm. And her elder big sister's Noble Phantasm is particularly cruel to men.

Ritsuka quickly pulls out a phone and clenches his red-branded hand. "Fuck fuck BY MY COMMAND SEAL-"

"SMILE OF THE STHENO!"

There is pink light.

"Kana come to the summoning chamber immediately it's an emergency. Come now please NOW PLEASE!"

Medusa sees that he does not hear the reply. His eyes have already glazed over, filled with love for the divine.

"...So basically my brother is an idiot who has feet in his mouth at all hours of the day."

"Essentially," Rider nods.

"Rude," Ritsuka scoffs poshly. "I am an imbecile. Did you not hear milady Stheno's decree?"

"Shut up, pig," Stheno scowls.

"Of course, my goddess Stheno."

Kana sighs and jabs her forehead. Okay yeah this is a predicament. Somehow she needs to resolve this incident, but using Command Seals basically undermines her authority forever. God, what a mess.

"...Stheno, while my brother is a massive idiot - don't you start - he did apologise, and you have made him suffer for it." Kana puts her hands behind her back and leans forward to her, closer to eye level. "How about you let him go and we torture him without mind control? That way we can watch him suffer!"

"I'd rather not," Stheno harrumphs. "Until this pig has paid his dues and knows true beauty, he shall remain mine. Grand Order or not." She narrows her eyes at Kana. "Not that you'd understand, you cow."

Kana stands up straight. She pinches her nose and exhales sharply. Suddenly, her sympathy has completely died. "Stheno?"

"I'm not interested in your bargains, cow-Master," Stheno says, waving her off dismissively. "Leave us, lest I make him do something."

"Herakles," Kana says calmly but firmly, drawing all eyes as her Command Seals glow brightly, "By my Command Seal, come."

There is thunder. There is lightning. There is the Son of Zeus, in the flesh, standing tall beside his comparatively-tiny Master. Kana is pretty short, but she's not that short - and yet compared to Herakles, everyone is short. He looks over at Kana, slightly frowning. Now, Kana isn't a Berserker whisperer like Ritsuka is, but she does know how to set the big guy off.

"Stheno over there has mind controlled Ritsuka and won't give him back," she says flatly. Stheno's eyes go wide as dishplates as Herakles snaps to face her, glaring with all the ferocity of a monster himself. Even Medusa takes a step back instinctively, knowing true fear. "Anyways, Stheno, let him go or I let the big guy loose - and he loves the idiot."

"Imbecile," Ritsuka hisses.

"You're an idiot, shut up."

Stheno glares harshly at Kana but she knows it is a battle she cannot win. Regrettably, it takes some muscle to get the point through to her. "Fine," she says, angrily and through gritted teeth.

Ritsuka lurches up like a coiled spring suddenly released, and he nearly stumbles face-first into Herk's abs as he finally has control again. "Thank you," he weeps. "Thank yo-ho-ho-hooo Kana, holy fuck what was I doing."

"Shut up, imbecile," Kana snaps playfully, causing Stheno to almost smile before remembering her frustration. She looks over at Medusa. "Anyways, Rider, if you are a hideous, gangly monster, then what am I?"

"A troll," both Stheno and Ritsuka say, at the same time, in the same tenor.

Kana looks at her brother again. What a fucking imbecile. "Actually, Stheno, bully him all you like."

"Kana no!"

"Kana yes. Eat shit, imbecile."

"I'M NOT AN IMBECILE!"

"You talked smack about your savior. That sounds like something an imbecile would do. Imbecile."

Ritsuka screams incoherently at the flawless logic. He looks desperately up at Herakles, but the giant simply returns with a flat gaze. He's brought this on himself. Even the mad hero agrees - and he's literally too insane to understand this sort of shit right now.

Stheno smirks devilishly. "Actually, Master, we might get along after all."

"I sure hope not," Kana says, returning with a smirk of her own. Honestly probably not really, Stheno is a horrible self-centered god-bitch, but in the afterglow of vindication it's nice to have a friend. "Welcome to Chaldea, Stheno."

"Sakura, how..." Medusa mutters under her breath. And Herakles gives her a single sympathetic nod, when no one is looking.

- End Chapter Ten -

Several hours later, the twins return to the sparring grounds looking to vent their tensions through the sacred family tradition of 'fuck you talk to my fists'. But they find a sight far more wondrous and cathartic.

Orange juice and rind drops off the ceiling and the walls, while both Gilgamesh and Nobunaga are rolling on the floor, covering their faces. There is orange rind everywhere. And Gil's sunglasses, no doubt absurdly expensive and nigh-irreplaceable, have been shattered on the ground.

It doesn't take a genius to realise what the hell happened here.

"Did you get your fight, Nobu?" Kana asks with a sigh. The Demon King whimpers as she nods. "This is why you don't fight."

"...I actually don't need to do anything," Ritsuka says happily. He no longer seeks vengeance. Good. "You've already punished yourselves. This is amazing. Don't do it again, guys, I'll see you tomorrow!"

He turns around to leave. Abruptly, Gilgamesh grabs and suplexes him.

"How," Ritsuka rasps.

"You're still wide open, Master," Gilgamesh says, then laughs. "My eyes burn BUT MY HEART BURNS HOTTER!"

Kana ponders it. She shrugs. "That's bullshit, but I believe it."