.hack/EVA: Catharsis: A Dream's Coming Out of its Shell
Disclaimer: In this universe in the quantum foam, I do not own or in any way shape or form hold a claim to the .hack series or Neon Genesis Evangelion.
" " denotes speech
'italics' denotes thought
'bold' denotes location names
'bold italics' denotes skill use
A/N: Thank you to all of those who have been reading from day 1, who have come back to this fic after my occasional disappearances. Your patience in waiting for a next chapter and your concern for my being has been greatly appreciated. For those of you just joining us, thanks for reading and please leave a review. It'd be great to know what you think, and I'd appreciate the feedback! Now, on with the story...
Tokyo-3 Mall, School Excursion Shopping Trip
Two figures were moving at a frenzied pace through one of the department stores in Tokyo-3, the smaller towing the other against his will in the way that one member of a young couple often would. Shopping, after all, was not traditionally given most favored activity status with most males. Of course, that a male had been dragged into a mall wasn't the reason for the alternative snickers, dirty looks, or pitying expressions at the comical sights—rather, it was because the two people in question were a red-headed teenage gaijin and a rather older man, instantly recognizable by his ponytail and 5-o'clock-shadow.
Sure he was smiling, but that was only because of his public persona, a mirage of deceit that most were unable to pierce, hiding the despair in his hair with irrepressible flirtation and hope. Well, that and he also enjoyed time with his former ward, though the oh-so-great Asuka Langley Soryu obviously saw it as more than a friendly shopping trip, trying to model for him clothes that were increasingly provocative, only to break off at a certain point, proceeding to drag him breathlessly around the mall.
His legs starting to get a little tired, Ryoji looked over and almost breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of something that might catch Asuka's attention, mentally thanking whatever fallen gods had brought about this end.
"Ah, wait! Here's the swimsuit section!" he said jovially, grateful simply for the opportunity to rest his feet for a moment.
The red-headed German girl, picking up on the joy but misreading the reason why, smiled all the more widely, thinking of this as an opportunity to impress the ponytailed spy with her womanly figure.
'Maybe then, he'll look at me…I want him to look at me.'
Whether in this world or in The World, the only ones who ever looked at her were the ones she did not want: the perverts, the empty eyed dolls, the bluenettes. Some desired her, some hated her, some simply cared not for her at all, completely apathetic to her existence. And that scared her more than she was willing to admit to herself…didn't she deserve the attention of others, after all? Wasn't she good enough? Sometimes it seemed that the only ones who actually paid attention to her were the Third Child and his girlfriend, who was actually a pretty nice person...even if she did resemble a porcelain doll.
'As much as I hate dolls, she's been more than kind to me. And she journeyed with me to the peaks of Al Fadel, where I have gained such power…'
All but running over to the rack of swimsuits, she paused, her eyes felling upon one that she liked almost immediately, a skimpy red and white sting bikini that definitely showed off her ample assets. Snatching it up, she held it up for Kaji to see.
"Hey, how 'bout this one?" she asked, eyes bright with desire.
Kaji suppressed the urge to wince in frustration. While he enjoyed Asuka's antics and firebrand personality, even he had to admit that she could occasionally get out of hand (and he didn't even want to know what might happen if she were to lose the bounds of reason). And while her crush on him was flattering, he thought she would be better off with someone her own age.
'Besides…most of what I show to others is but a front in any case. I don't even know if I am capable of true love, ever since that childhood betrayal…'
He didn't say that out loud of course, instead needling his former ward where he knew she'd feel it.
"Aren't you a little young for something like that?" he asked, a hint of skepticism in his voice.
Asuka Langley Soryu merely rolled her eyes, striking a model's pose as she responded.
"Oh Kaji, you're just an old man, and entirely out of date," she shot back, a smile playing at the edges of her lips. "There days, suits like these are quite common."
This time, the unshaven man did raise a skeptical brow.
"Oh, is that so?" he asked, unconvinced after his exploits as a master of seduction.
"But of course," the overly energetic teenager responded, nodding enthusiastically and grabbing his arm. "And this is going to be something new for the school trip, since we're supposed to refresh ourselves. You've seen how hard I've been working, haven't you Kaji? That's why we're out on this date, right?"
If this were an anime, Kaji would probably have spawned a sweatdrop large enough to make him fall over. As it was, he merely selected an action that one might term Shinji-esque, verbally running away (or as its more conventionally known, changing the subject). Fortunately, there had been something of interest buried in her bit of rambling that he could pick on.
"So, where are you going on this school excursion?" he wondered out loud, since he'd never gone on one himself.
"O-ki-na-wa!" the redhead replied, sounding out each syllable in a manner she thought was kawaii. "We're gonna be scuba-diving!"
"Hmm, scuba-diving..." the unshaven man murmured, thinking of the last time he had had a chance to do that. "It's been a few years since went I diving..."
He trailed off, an awkward silence descending around the two, with the redhead continuing to look at clothing for a few minutes as he looked away. Seeing that her former guardian was unusually distracted, she looked over at him, curious.
"Hey, where'd you go for your school excursion?" she inquired, not really knowing much about his past, though he'd lived with her for a time.
This time, the older man's smile was tinged with a regret as he looked at her once more, shaking his head.
"I never got to go on one," he said simply, words that immediately prompted Asuka to probe deeper into his past.
"How come?" she asked, taking the bait. Wasn't it all but expected for students to go on school excursions once a year?
For a moment, Asuka thought she could see dark shadows pass over Kaji's face, though when she blinked, they were gone, meaning she must have just imagined it.
"Because of Second Impact."
Horaki Residence
Rei Ayanami sat in the midst of an unfamiliar room, a slightly puzzled expression on her face as she looked around. Not being one for gratuitous amounts of social interaction, she had never set foot in another person's place of residence before, and it was quite a shock to see the world outside her apartment.
'It is so…clean here,' she thought to herself, furrowing her brow slightly. 'Why is this so, when it will only get dirty again? Is the effort not an exercise in futility?'
This confusion did not go unnoticed by her host, friend, class representative and gaming partner Hikari Horaki, who worried that the blue-haired girl might be displeased by her living conditions.
"Is something wrong, Ayanami-san?" the pigtailed girl inquired solicitously, feeling somewhat uneasy at the thought of what her friend might say. For all she knew, the enigmatic Rei Ayanami might turn out to be a closet interior decorator, concealing a thinly veiled sneer as she made note of all the incongruous elements under the Horaki roof. Well, maybe not a sneer, but the level stares of the blue-haired one always seemed to take in everything, observing, judging, and cataloging everything into an infinite repository of knowledge.
Fortunately for her, the blue haired girl was also unlearned in the arts of deception, and thus refreshingly direct.
"…I am sorry," Rei responded hesitantly, words that caused Hikari to almost fly into a panic before the half-angel continued. "…but I have never been to another's place of residence before. I am unfamiliar with the proper protocol to follow."
Hikari just blinked in surprise, a few seconds passing before her lips managed to shape the words: "Oh…what do you think, Ayanami-san?"
"It is…substantially larger than my place of habitation, and better kept, as Ikari-kun would likely tell me."
She said this while wearing her normally stoic expression on her face, though if one was paying attention (and not inclined to brush odd occurrences off as tricks of the light), a blush could just barely be seen on her face. Granted, it wasn't anything like Shinji's tomato-beet-and blood shade of blush, but then, very few things were. And on Rei's pale complexion, it stood out all the more.
"Ooh…Ikari-kun, is it?" Hikari teased, eager for a juicy bit of gossip. She was, after all, a teenage girl who enjoyed hearing about the crushes and relationships of friends. "I think someone has a crush…"
"A…crush," Rei repeated slowly, testing how the word felt in her mouth. "Is that what one calls the sensation of warmth here when one thinks of another? Or when one feels the touch of another?"
She pressed a hand to one of her shapely breasts, causing the very straight-laced Hikari to gasp in surprise.
"You and Ikari-san…you're not…" the pigtailed girl began, stumbling over her words. She stopped short, took a deep breath, and tried without avail to banish the naughty mental pictures of the two Eva pilots her mind was conjuring all too quickly. "You're not…living in sin, right? I would never have pictured—"
"What is 'living in sin?'" Rei inquired, tilting her head in thought, fingers of her hand idly circling the place her heart would be.
The pigtailed girl blanched, her composure breaking down by the second, as she had not really expected or prepared to give a lecture on the basics of sexuality or morality.
"Its…its…when a boy and a girl desire one another—"
"—As you and Suzuhara-san do, Horaki-inchou?"
Hikari's mouth fell open in shock, working up and down a few times before she closed it with an audible click, looking down at the floor with a furious blush, perfectly matching the color of the ribbon on her school uniform. She could feel Ayanami's gaze upon her, those crimson eyes eating into the light of her very soul, and it made her uneasy that the unsocial girl had picked up on her attraction to the jock so easily.
"Is it…that obvious?" she managed to squeak out, her eyes darting up to her blue-haired friend and then back to the floor.
"Only to one who watches humanity in the land of Twilight."
Seeing an opportunity to escape from this line of questioning, Hikari seized it with both hands.
"The land of twilight?" she echoed, raising an eyebrow in interest. "Clearly you've been playing The World for far too long, Skadi, with the Adept Rogue who mirrors you perfectly. Its so cute seeing you two together…did you enjoy your little job extend quest with Shinji? Where you gave him the Honeysuckle blades? That's very bold of you, giving him the 'bonds of love'."
Were it someone who had spent less time with Rei, her reaction would have been muted, though in this case, the slight widening of the eyes and faint blush were a dead giveaway.
"…you know the meaning of honeysuckle?" she questioned, looking up at Hikari's warm brown eyes. When the other nodded, she continued. "It was a…strange quest at an inverted castle, ending with an encounter with a man perched upon a throne of souls asking of his daughter."
"Perhaps we should inquire of Rumor what he knows? Or of Hakubo-san, as I had not seen information on that quest on the message boards."
The two looked at one another, remembering the AI that had brought them together to the Keel Mountains, mentioning such things as the Queen of the Dark, the Dothackers, and shadows born of error.
'Shadows born of error…could it be?'
"…I have seen the shadows," Rei said, looking troubled for the first time that evening. "Black spots dancing about another Macabre Dancer. Siarl."
"What could it mean?"
"I…do not know," answered the azure-haired girl, looking away into the hazy distance. "I sense danger to come in the days ahead."
After a moment, she continued.
"How was your…date…with Aruna?"
"It's not like that!" Hikari frantically tried to deny, the defensiveness only serving to confirm Rei's suspicions. Seeing the unflappable gaze directed at her once more, the pigtailed girl caved. "Well…ok, maybe a little. We're just training for the Arena matches at Lumina Cloth. And he's paying attention most of the time…when he isn't be a pervert."
"And your team's name?"
"Team Aida, meaning Moonlight. I have defeated the Doppelganger, after all," Hikari boasted with a rare smile. "Very few have managed to beat such a formidable foe."
"Was there another reason?" Ayanami inquired. The First Child had rather thought that her friend might use "Team Tomoyami or Darkness Rising", but Aida?
The Class Representative of class 2-A merely sighed in frustration, shrugging her shoulders.
"…you have no idea how hard it is to get a caster to work with you when you're a Chaotic PK. Aida made it a condition of being on the team…Suzuhara normally goes along with what I say, but Aida needs bribing sometimes. Speaking of work…are you ready for the school excursion to Okinawa?"
"…I cannot go."
"Why not? Oh…you have to stay behind in case an Angel Attacks?"
"…Yes."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Hikari said consolingly, though her eyes grew narrow and calculating after a while. "Wait…I take that back. You get to spend an entire week with Ikari-kun… Hakubo-san will be jealous, you know!"
Rei Ayanami, the seeming unflappable flower of the battlefield and First Child, found her emotions betraying her as she blushed fiercely.
"…You embarrass me."
"What are friends for?" the brown-eyed girl teased.
Kaji's Apartment
Of all the things that could be said of Kaji's place of residence, perhaps the most notable was that it did not reflect the appearance of the unshaven, ponytailed spy. Not overtly anyway, though one could argue that its look was carefully composed just to throw off anyone who might have expectations about it. In fact, it had an almost immaculate air to it, being cleaner than even Misato's apartment (no small feat, considering that her apartment was under Shinji's aegis), yet just scattered enough to seem lived in.
With its modern glass and metal furnishings, it could be said to resemble an office much more than a dwelling place, even if a very comfortable office where one could sleep—or entertain guests of the female persuasion—on occasion. It was even equipped with white noise generators to help the owner sleep, as he claimed a mild sensitivity to the sounds of traffic entering from outside.
But it had been empty for long enough today, as the front door creaked open slowly and Ryoji Kaji entered, his eyes darting about as he checked for signs of intrusion or tampering. Seeing nothing obviously out of place, he secured the door and then pulled out a miniature electronic bug detector, doing a quick sweep of the place. In his line of work, it never hurt to exercise a little bit of caution, as it wasn't paranoia when they were really after you.
Finding nothing, he put his sweeper away and headed to his study, where he slumped down at his chair and booted his computer. To be honest, he was rather tired from his day of shopping, especially at the end when he had had to break the news to Asuka that she probably would not be allowed to go on the school excursion, but he had his work to do.
Recounting that particular conversation, the fiery redhead had protested, but Kaji had informed her that it wasn't his decision, but Misato's, causing the girl to pout and whine about being betrayed. Kaji had then had to reassure her that it was because the German girl was undoubtedly NERV's best pilot, asking what they would do in the event that an Angel attacked when she was gone. Asuka deflated after that, the flattery having gone to her head, and her former guardian was glad that he didn't have to resort to more devious measures to convince her that staying was the best decision.
Now, the unshaven spy had of course made some alterations to the ALTIMIT MINE OS to make it more secure, since one of his secrets was some hidden skill in programming. He was not quite on par with Ritsuko Akagi, whose skills were legendary, and so wasn't good enough to hack into a Magi system without being detected (at best, his programs could stall the supercomputer for a short time, a feat in itself).
As an agent for multiple organizations, whether as a special inspector for NERV, an agent for the Japanese Ministry of the Interior, or an agent of SEELE, there was only so much he could do personally to further his own desire to find the truth. For he knew that his employers would only reveal what they had to on a need to know basis, and that once his personal usefulness was outlived, they would probably terminate him.
Thus, Ryoji Kaji, master spy, needed someone on the outside to balance the odds, someone whose interests were aligned with his and whose skills could match or beat any of the computer technicians at the agencies he worked for. He had been searching for someone like that for a very long time, following many leads from his contacts, and sorting through possibilities until only one was left.
As luck would have it, the only hacker he knew of with the skill level he needed was one spoken of in rumors and hushed whispers, one who was legendary in her field as one of the saviors of the global network. The problem was that there was almost nothing known about her, save that she was very active in the game called The World, meaning that he might have to actually spend some time in that virtual world to find her.
"Helba, the Queen of the Dark," Kaji muttered to himself, stroking his unshaven chin. Perhaps an indirect approach was best, going on the message board and inquiring about the Epitaph of Twilight, from which the name was drawn. It seemed a frivolous use of time, but if it would help him in his quest to find the truth, then he would do it.
Giving his attention to the small icon in the upper right corner, 'The World: R2', he selected it and waited for the game to load. Fortunately, he didn't have to wait too long, as the optimized computer popped up the title screen.
His lips quirked up into a smile, as he had not had time for games in a very long time, yet he knew immediately what he wanted his character to be. A Steam Gunner with fair skin and black hair bound up in a ponytail, wearing orange sunglasses, a blood red tunic, black trousers, and a flowing black overcoat.
Upon reflecting, he thought that perhaps it might be useful to tweak a setting or two, seeing as his character looked like a cross between himself and the Bastard King Gendo Ikari. But perhaps the infamous Gendo Pose™ would come in handy if he ever had to use it, so he kept the appearance. As for the name…well, if he wanted to contact Helba, he would have to name himself something out of the Epitaph to get her attention.
Somehow, he just knew that choosing the name of Gendor, named for one of the three shadowed ones who had quested for the Twilight Dragon (specifically a young man from a band of humans who settled in the Dividing Forest) would come back to haunt him, but he continued on anyway, his mind made up.
First, he logged onto the message boards and composed a post, hoping to lure out anyone who knew of his quarry.
:Subject: Epitaph of Twilight
:Author: Gendor
Does anyone here know of the Epitaph, and its meaning in this new version of The World? Rumor has it that the continuing struggle of Aperion, King of Light and Helba, Queen of the Dark, against the Cursed Wave continues to hold some importance even now.
Posting his message, he closed out from the BBS, and logged into The World, trying to see what he could find from the rumors that were bound to fly in any large gathering of people.
Outskirts of Tokyo-3
For all that it was the great fortress city and home to the 1st Branch of NERV, Tokyo-3 could be quite deserted sometimes, especially out in the periphery in the hours of twilight. Cars sped down the streets and the trains hurtled from stop to stop, but as with almost every gathering of people, the activity was concentrated in the center, where light was brightest. Perhaps there was some truth to the old saying that humanity feared the darkness, and so lit torches to ward off the encroaching of the shadows.
Evidently, the truism did not apply to all, as out on the fringes of the city, two figures walked hand in hand, content to just be with one another at the end of a hectic day. One was Lycoris, or Reimeiki Hakubo as she was called in this world, the rays of the setting sun kissing her silver tresses and her alabaster, almost translucent skin. The other was the Third Child, Shinji Ikari, who until recently would never have thought it possible that someone might actually care for him. And yet, here he was, with an enigmatic young girl whose fingers were gently intertwined with his.
There was much about her that Shinji still didn't know, much about her past that she never talked about. Oh, Reimeiki had spoken of her past playing The World, of how she felt a bond to all things, and how she was an unwanted child like him, but there was so much he longed to ask. Why certain parties had referred to her as a sister to a Goddess, for instance, or why she felt so strongly about The World and those within it? Or, perhaps her relationship to someone Kensuke would mention from time to time: Helba, Queen of the Dark, one of the greatest hackers in the world.
'But that will come in time,' he thought. For now, he was simply content to walk with her in comfortable silence, each saying to the other what they needed to in glances and in touch, walking closely enough that if Misato or the Idiot Duo had seen them, there would have been no end to the teasing. At the moment, Shinji wouldn't have minded, since after tonight, he wouldn't be able to see Lycoris again for a week.
'I wish I had been able to go on the class excursion, but then…being the Slayer of Angels does have a price. Of course, if paying that price means that I can protect someone I…care for, then so much the better.'
The breeze fluttered around the two lovers, its soft caress at once soothing and chilling. Shivering a little, Lycoris huddled closer to her companion, who didn't seem to blush quite as much as he used to, instead just putting an arm around her waist and holding her as they walked.
"This is a lonesome city, isn't it?" Lycoris remarked as they walked along.
"Sometimes it is," Shinji replied. "But sometimes Mac Anu can be as well, especially at night when not too many people are online."
"True…" the silver-haired girl whispered, leaning her head on his shoulder and smiling. "But it doesn't feel so lonely when you're there…I don't feel like an unwanted child."
"I'm glad," the Third Child murmured, squeezing Lycoris' hand gently as they walked up a hill to a certain place full of memories for Shinji. He had been fairly secretive about it, wanting to make it a surprise for her, and was glad when she had just agreed to go out with him the day before the excursion.
In the sky, the golden orb of sun slowly meandered towards the horizon, leaving in its wake the beautiful pastels of sunset—streaks of red and orange, purples and blues scattered across the tapestry of the heavens. The spires of the city ached in reaching for the sky, and seemed almost to sigh and sag, casting long shadows across the face of earth, and in the hazy distance could just be heard the waves upon the shore.
After some time, the couple came to a halt—at the very overlook that Misato had taken Shinji to after his first Angel battle. The view from there reminded him of what he fought to protect, though the girl in his arms was as well. She had showed him how not to blush at every little thing (though he still found it hard when he had her in his arms, or she made one of those comments that just embarrassed him in front of Ayanami, who he was unsure how he felt about), but more importantly, she had taught him to smile, and to have faith in himself.
"This was a wonderful surprise," Lycoris murmured, looking over at Shinji and giving him a squeeze. "Thank you for taking me here."
"It's beautiful up here, isn't it?" he replied, returning the embrace. "I came here after the first time I had to fight an Angel to protect the city, so that I knew what I was fighting for, that there is still something precious after such terrible destruction."
"Mmm…"
"But now, I don't have to come here to know that," he said, looking at her, while pulling something out of his bookbag. He seemed a little nervous as he handed it over to the silver-haired girl. "Here…I have something for you."
Looking down, she saw in her hand a single flower of a purplish-reddish hue, one she recognized as a variety of plant often called…
"Ambrosia," she breathed. But upon identifying the flower, she couldn't quite keep a gleam of mischief from her eyes. "Did you give me the food of the gods because you wanted to date a goddess?"
Shinji chuckled, his deep blue eyes looking into Lycoris' captivating golden ones as he leaned close to her.
"No, Reimeiki-chan," he whispered, "I gave you an ambrosia blossom because it means…" Here he hesitated for a second, unable to give voice to the meaning.
But the girl of Twilight, named for one blossom, knew the meaning of this other one.
"…mutual love," she finished for him, closing the distance between them and silencing his awkwardness with a kiss.