Season 1: Pilot (Part 1)
(The Night of the Accident)
I didn't even know why I was at this party. I had no reason to be. No one I talked to was around and the whole underage drinking thing wasn't my style. Not because it was illegal, but more just because I didn't like the taste. That didn't stop me from sipping the beer that I swiped from the cooler. There were so many bodies around, just cramped together. I had hoped that the alcohol would calm me down, make me less nervous. It didn't work. All it did was make my vision blurry and my stomach curl in knots.
I was definitely not a drinker.
I could see Elena Gilbert across the bonfire. She looked beautiful as usual. Her hair was brown and fell down her back as straight at a pole. Her eyes were a nice chocolate color that were round and large. Her skin was a dark tan and I wondered where she had inherited that. All the other Gilberts were pale, including me. She was a regular exotic beauty that rivaled even the prettiest of celebrities. She would be someone they would model a Disney princess after. I would probably be the ugly step sister.
She was laughing with her friends, also drinking. There was Bonnie Bennett, a girl that I hadn't ever really had a conversation with, then there was Caroline Forbes, she was the typical blonde haired blue eyed beauty who played the stupid girl role even if she wasn't stupid, and there was Matt Donovan as well. I liked Matt. We had only spoken a few times, but he never spoke to me like I was inferior or weird. He talked to me like a person, and I appreciated that. Not a lot of other people did.
Matt was dating Elena. They were the schools "it" couple. They were the couple that everyone wanted to be. I saw that coming, we all did. It just made sense that they would be together. Their mothers were best friends in school, therefore the two became friends. But when I looked their way I didn't see passionate love and desire, maybe on Matt's face, but not Elena's. In truth she looked… bored. She looked like she could use a little adventure, something different from the world she had been delivered. I wondered if that was just the alcohol or if her sadness rested in a life that was planned for her.
With a shake to my head and I sigh I turned around the opposite way. I headed toward the edge of the party, away from all the grinding bodies and loud voices. I pulled out my phone once I was a good distance away. I dialed the number quickly and held it to my ear. There were three rings before someone picked up.
"Hello?" My mother's voice whisper. It was like she couldn't get caught or something like that. I figured she was hiding her phone from her boss.
"Mom?" I asked. There was a beat of silence and the click of a door closing. She was probably hiding in the back room.
"Baby." She said fondly. "Are you having fun?"
"Hardly. All these kids are drinking and making out." I told her. I heard her chuckle on the other end. I didn't know why she thought it was funny. These kids were dancing so close I wondered if it was possible to get pregnant just by dancing.
"That's what normal teenagers do." Mom commented, laughter still evident in her voice. I rolled my eyes and looked back to the party. I didn't want to go back. I was afraid of what would happen if I did.
"Well I'm not a normal teenager." I replied. "Can you come get me?"
"Uh…." I heard her mutter. I groaned. I should have known before I even asked the question.
"Mom!" I huffed. I had no intentions of going back to that party; whether she came to get me or not. I would just prefer not to walk alone in the dark. Mom had taught me some common sense and a young girl walking alone on the street was not a good idea even in the smallest town in the USA.
"Hey! I didn't plan on picking you up this early!" She said in defense to herself. "Why can't you be an irresponsible child and stay out until two am and stay at some random guys house?"
"Because my mother raised me better." I replied. I could hear her scoff on the other end of the line.
"Well she sound's boring." She chuckled. I laughed along with her until we both fell silence. I wondered if she could hear the loud music in the background. I was hoping that she would tell me that she would get out of work and come to get me. I wanted her to put my needs ahead of her job, but I guess she was looking out for my needs. I just wanted her to come and pick me up. I didn't belong here, I never did. But she wanted me to try and have fun. Apparently getting drunk and STD's was fun to people my age.
"I will come as soon as I can." Mom told me. I swallowed, a lump forming in my throat. I knew she wouldn't miss out on her shift. We couldn't afford it, but the selfish part of me wanted her to.
"Don't worry about it. I'll figure something out." I told her. I didn't have any idea how I was going to get home, but I didn't want to bother her with it anymore. She was always dropping everything for me; I couldn't do it to her anymore.
"Are you sure?" She asked me. I opened my mouth to reply but she cut me off. "I'll get out of here and come get you."
"No." I replied quickly. "No, I'll… I'll get home."
We were silent for a while, about a minute. All I could hear was her breathing, well that and the club music from behind me. I heard some beer bottles clinking together and some laughter too. If only I could have the same fun like these other teenagers, then I wouldn't have to be bothering her about coming home early.
"Please be careful." She said finally. "I can't lose my baby."
"Mom, I'm not a baby." I told her with a laugh. She had called me baby since before I could remember. I had gotten embarrassed about it when I was younger, but now that I was older I actually liked it. It was our thing.
"You're always my baby." I heard her whisper. I grinned to myself. "Well, I got to go. See you later."
"Later." I told her. "I love you."
"I love you more." She said. I shook my head hearing her laugh. "Bye baby."
"Bye mom." I said and listened to her hang up shortly after. With that my smile faded and I let out a sigh. I slowly turned and looked back at the party goers. I debated on going back, getting drunk, finding someone to hook up with. That was what people my age did right? But like I said I was different. These petty parties were not me, and the idea of being like that felt shallow to me. It was the opposite of everything I stood for. I shook my head and headed away, the music slowly fading in the distance.
I decided to just walk. It was dark and I probably should have done anything else, but I didn't have a friend to call and I was nowhere close to a bus stop. So walking seemed my only option. The ground was wet, we had had a big rain storm the day prior. I could hear my boots squeaking on the ground and I slipped a few times. I didn't know if that had to do with the rain or my slight intoxication. I hadn't drank much, barely half a beer, but I was small, a lightweight. I could take one sip and be a little tipsy. So, there I was, stumbling around in the dark, trying to get home when I heard it.
A car horn, followed by a voice. A voice I thought I would never hear.
"Alexandra!" It called. I turned and was blinded by headlights. I squinted, trying to see into the vehicle to get a grip on who was calling me. The driver turned the lights down so I could see better. Once my eyes adjusted I felt my stomach churn.
Miranda Gilbert, mother of Elena and Jeremy, was getting out of the car and headed toward me. Her dark hair was pulled back, and her pale skin was bright in the dark. She wore a t-shirt with a Lucky Charms logo on it and some sweat pants. She looked like she had just been woken up before she came here. I wondered why on Earth she was out this late; I also wondered why in the hell was she stopping me.
"Alexandra." She said when she was closer. She had her arms wrapped around herself, like she was cold. "Where are you going?"
"Home." I replied, with much more malice than I expected. She flinched at my tone but she quickly recovered. I picked at my nails, something I did when I was nervous. I had ruined so many manicures that my mother had forced me to go to. She gave up eventually.
"Are you walking?" She asked, voice laced in concern. I scoffed a bit, running a sloppy hand through my hair. Was she serious? Of course I was walking. I didn't have a car, my mom was working all the damn time, I didn't have friends. Yes, I was walking.
"Pretty observant aren't you?" I asked. I could see her swallow, like she was swallowing any sort of comeback that she had. I wondered if she would just walk away, like I wanted her to. Why was she even talking to me? It's not like she had before. When I was younger she used to just ignore me and send looks to my mother. They weren't dirty looks, they weren't pity looks; they were looks of shame. It was like we were the undesirables that she had to be associated with. But it wasn't like we wanted her approval. I didn't need anything from them.
"Would you like a ride?" She asked. I felt my jaw almost drop, but I stopped it before it hit the ground. I had never expected that, especially not from her. She must have seen the way my face looked because her face also softened.
"I know it's… awkward." She said. I rolled my eyes and scoffed at the same time. "Ok maybe that's an understatement."
"Yeah." I replied. I just wanted to leave, but something told me she wouldn't have let me go anyway. I would bet a lot of money that she would drag me to the car if I tried to leave. I didn't know if she was honestly that she was concerned for my safety (unlikely) or that the guilt had finally caught up to her. I was thinking the latter. In a sick way to make herself feel better, she was probably trying to right a wrong. But I didn't want her to. As much as I didn't like that whole family, I didn't want her sympathy; I didn't need it.
"Let us take you home." She said with a grin. I hate to admit it, but it was kind of infectious. "Please."
"I don't know…" I replied, trailing off. I didn't want to walk. I was already tired, having worked a very long shift this morning. Then there was the fact that it was already dark and I was afraid of what could pop out and attack me. This wasn't the best option, but it seemed that taking a ride from the Gilbert's was my only option.
"Ok fine." I grumbled. Miranda's smile only grew and she seemed so excited by my answer. I fought the urge to roll my eyes again, and forced a smile myself. Then she led me to the car.
Elena Gilbert wasn't fine.
She would never be fine; and yet people continued to ask if she was. She lied, told them she was better, but that's all it was. A lie.
She wrote in her diary, something that seemed to help her cope. She wrote every personal thought that she had throughout a day. Most of the time, what she wrote was sad. Sometimes they were uplifting, and those were the good days (which were rare). She was actually becoming good at it, writing sad stuff. It was depressing really.
She had wrote a quite inspirational entry this morning.
Dear diary, today will be different. It has to be. I will smile, and it will be believable. My smile will say "I'm fine, thank you." "Yes, I feel much better."
But she didn't know if she could do it. It was easy to write down on paper, but to really do it? That was an amazing feat.
I will no longer be the sad little girl who lost her parents. I will start fresh, be someone new. It's the only way I'll make it through.
She was determined for change. This year had to be different. It just had to be. She would start with herself. She would force herself to be happy, be the Elena she used to be. Or at least a better version. Then she would fix Jeremy. She had to talk some sense into him before he got himself in trouble or killed. She couldn't lose both her parents and brother in the same year. Then there was one more thing she had to do.
She had to fix the relationship with Alex.
Elena and Alex had never been close, barely speaking to one another. They had been in the same class for years, and when they were children they actually had played together. That is until Elena heard the story. She didn't even hear it from her parents, she had to hear it from a teacher.
"I feel so sad for her." Elena's teacher had said. "It's so awful for poor little Alex."
That was what caught Elena's ear. Alex had always been quiet, very shy and reserved. Elena was bubbly, with a loud mouth and always a fun idea. The two could not be any more different, but there was something that connected them.
Their last name.
"I don't understand why Lauren gave that child the father's name." Another teacher had said. "It wasn't like she didn't know he was leaving."
"Maybe it was just a last ditch effort to keep him." Elena's teacher offered. Elena had wondered why Alex had the same last name. She didn't even know they were related. When someone would say Ms. Gilbert, someone would always say "which one?" It was just how it was, no child ever looked into specifics.
"It's sad really." The other teacher replied. "That poor girl will never be accepted."
"I heard that Lauren's mother kicked her out, and she hasn't had any support from John's family." Elena's teacher gossiped. That was when Elena scurried away. She had ran into the bathroom, locking herself in the stall.
John? Her uncle John? Alex's father?
No one had ever said anything to Elena about it before. This was all news to her, and she was only seven. She didn't understand why no one told her. It was like a big secret that everyone wanted to hide. Why would they hide it? Why did Uncle John leave Alex and her mom? Shouldn't he have raised her? Did this make them cousins? Were they family?
This had confused Elena so much that she went home complaining of a stomach ache. When her mother picked her up she asked her about what she had heard. Miranda's face grew grim when she told Elena that Alex was her cousin. But then she made Elena promise to stop playing with Alex. When Elena asked why, Miranda simply said that it was for the best. From that day on, Elena ignored Alex, even though she didn't like doing it. In turn, all the other kids started ignoring her, and she seemed to fade into the background.
Looking back on it, Elena wished that she hadn't listened; that she had become friends with Alex long ago. It would make everything simpler now that she had the desire to fix it. As she watched Alex walk down the hall, the guilt and disappointment would well in her stomach. She wished that things had been different, but also that everything could go back to normal. But it couldn't.
"Oh, look the reject Gilbert approaches." Caroline Forbes muttered as Alex passed them. Bonnie scolded Caroline, but Elena didn't react. She just watched Alex continue down the hall. She wore a simple black t-shirt and ripped jeans. Her hair was down, covering her face as she weaved around students. She looked like she had just rolled out of bed, dark circles under her eyes indicating that she was lacking sleep.
"C'mon Bonnie." Caroline continued when Alex had turned the corner and was out of sight. Elena turned her focus back to Caroline and Bonnie, who both stood in front of her. "She's barely in the same species, let alone the same family."
Bonnie gave Caroline a glare but didn't say anything. Elena shook her head and let out a sigh. Both girls looked to her waiting for her to speak. She was silent for a moment before she flipped her hair and looked between the two.
"I'm not going to pretend anymore." Elena said, her voice full of determination and fervor. Both Bonnie and Caroline looked to one another before looking back at Elena.
"Pretend what?" Bonnie asked. Bonnie was Elena's best friend, they told each other everything. But Elena hadn't told Bonnie about her master plan to get her life back in order. This would probably surprise both of her friends, and honestly Elena didn't care.
"That she doesn't exist. That she's not family." Elena told them with a shrug. "I'm not going to pretend that we don't have this bond. She deserves better than that."
"How would you know?" Caroline asked. "She doesn't talk to anyone."
"Maybe because no one tries to talk to her." Elena replied. Caroline gave her a look before she shook her head. Caroline had never been one for talking to people of "lower class." Elena didn't expect her blonde friend to speak to Alex, she wouldn't ask her to. But this was something that she had to do.
"I'll see you after your episode of crazy is over." Caroline joked before she sent the two a kiss and walked off. Both Elena and Bonnie looked after her before looking back at one another. Bonnie giggled and Elena shook her head.
"No comment." Elena said and the two started walking. They were silent for a while before Bonnie spoke up.
"So, this whole "make friends with Alex" thing…" Bonnie started but trailed off. Elena looked at her, giving an encouraging look to tell her to go on. "It's not something you're doing out of… guilt right?"
"No!" Elena replied. Was it a guilt thing? Did she feel bad for ignoring her the last ten years? She guessed she did, she should. But was that the reason she was deciding to talk to Alex again?
"It's just… all of a sudden you want to be best friends with her." Bonnie said. Elena nudged her playfully.
"That positions filled." Elena told her. Bonnie grinned, but it didn't last long. "I don't want to make friends. I just want to… talk to her."
"About what?" Bonnie asked. Elena shrugged. "The accident?"
Elena swallowed, remembering how she woke up in the hospital to find out she was an orphan. She wanted to know how she got out of the car. In Alex's statement to the police, she said she woke up next to Elena on the bank. Had Alex pulled her out? Had she saved her life? Elena wouldn't know because she didn't remember anything from the accident.
"No. I just… I feel… bad." Elena said. "Not guilty, just… I want to make things right."
"I don't think she wants your pity." Bonnie told her. Elena opened her mouth but shut it quickly. "All I'm saying is, don't do this for the wrong reasons. Make sure that you think about her too."
"I will." Elena replied. Bonnie nodded. Elena didn't know what he reasons were, just that she needed to do it. She and Alex didn't need to be friends, but something inside of her was telling her that if she didn't do this now, she would never have the chance later.
"Well if you are doing this, so am I." Bonnie told her. Elena grinned and with that they headed to their first class.
I tried not to let it get to me that Elena and her two accomplices had been staring at me when I had passed by. It was one thing to be ignored, but to be stared at made me much more uncomfortable. I hadn't had a good night's sleep, the dark circles under my eyes making that evident. I had dreamt about the accident again. I wondered when it would stop; Dr. Aaron said it may never stop. I hated the idea that I would be haunted by this mystery for the rest of my life. I didn't know if I could take it.
Mom had surprised me that morning, taking the late shift so that she could drive me to school. She had even went as far as to try and make me pancakes. I say try because she had actually burnt them to a crisp and they were inedible. She wasn't the best cook, but she did try. We had joked and laughed the whole ride to school, something we hadn't done in so long. Then she asked me something I hadn't expected.
"Promise me this year will be different?" She asked. I looked up from the radio to her. I had left it on some old country music station, but that wasn't my main focus now.
"What do you mean?" I asked her. She shrugged and hesitated before replying. I watched her closely, waiting patiently for her answer. She finally sighed, looking from me back out the windshield.
"I'm tired of hiding. I'm tired of acting like my decision to keep you was wrong." She said, a determined frown on her face. "I've made some mistakes…"
"Like having a kid at seventeen." I finished her sentence. I knew I wasn't planned, and sometimes I wished I hadn't been born. Then no one would have to suffer because of me.
"You, are not a mistake Alexandra." She told me, gripping my hand like she was holding on for dear life. "My mistake was treating you like one."
My eyebrows furrowed. What did that mean? She had never treated me like she hadn't wanted me. She was my best friend. She busted her ass for me. When had she ever treated me like a mistake?
"I let you go through life thinking that you being on this Earth was wrong. That was not right." She told me, pulling to a stop in front of the school. The teenagers were walking all over the place, stopping to talk with friends, stopping to make out with their boyfriends, doing stuff that I didn't do because I wasn't like them.
"Mom you never did anything wrong while raising me." I told her. She gave me a look and I laughed. "Ok maybe all the times you gave me food poisoning wasn't good."
"Hey!" She said, playfully decking me in the arm. We both laughed together for a second before she sighed. She ran a hand through my hair, giving me a loving look. "Will you promise me that this year you will be happy?"
"Mom I am-" I began but she put her finger on my lips to stop me.
"Promise me Alex." She ordered. I nodded. She grinned at me before she pulled me to her for a hug. "My babies growing up."
"I'm not a baby." I replied, smelling her lavender scented shampoo when I took a breath. It was so good to talk to her again, to hug her. This was stuff that most people took for granted, but I held on to everything that I could get.
"You'll always be my baby." She told me. I could hear the tears in her voice. I pulled back and she put both her hands on my cheeks. She then placed a tender kiss to my forehead. Many other people my age would have been embarrassed but I relished in it. She gave me a quick goodbye before she kicked me out of the car and drove off.
She wanted this year to be different. But I didn't know if that's what I wanted.
Students were floating into the classroom, talking with their friends and making jokes when they found their seats. I was seated in the back, toward the right corner. I had a good view of the courtyard from this seat, so I assumed most of my time spent in this class would be doodling what I could see outside.
I never liked Mr. Tanner, the history teacher. I had had him every year since freshman year and I couldn't find any redeeming qualities. Sure, he was good with history and he loved what he did, but he also liked to make fun and ridicule his students. He had never picked me out, but I was sure it was coming. I hated the way he acted a lot of the time, even if he was a good teacher. He shouldn't be able to abuse his power that way.
I looked toward the door right when Elena and Bonnie walked through. They were laughing about something, and I quickly looked down as to not catch their attention. I had had enough of their gawks and silent remarks this morning. I didn't want to hear it during first period too.
"Alright students, take your seats, take your seats." Mr. Tanner called when he walked in. He slammed his books down and the students all scrambled to their seats. A few walked in just as the bell rang and they too quickly found a seat. But when I looked back toward the door I never expected to see who I did.
It was a boy, a young man, one who I had never seen before. I may not have had many friends, but I still lived in a small town; everyone knew everyone here. But I would have remembered this guy. He was gorgeous, to say the least. He had light brownish hair that stood up in a popular fashion. He had an athletic build covered in a dark shirt and dark jeans. His eyes were green, much prettier than mine were. And his jawline looked like it could cut through glass it was so sharp. He was the essence of beauty and it took me a second to clear my head and look away. He found a seat, across the aisle of Elena's chair. I noticed the look he gave her. All the other girls drooling didn't stand a chance.
"Alright, let's just jump right in." Mr. Tanner called attention with a clap of his hands together. "Once our home state of Virginia joined confederacy in 1861, it created a tremendous amount of tension within the state. People in Virginia's northwest region had different ideals than those from the traditional Deep South…"
That was when I drifted out. I had my new notebook open to a clean page, but I didn't write down anything Tanner said. It wasn't anything new, I knew how Virginia had separated and the reasons why. I looked at the clock and inwardly groaned at the thought of being in that room for another forty five minutes. So, with quick thinking I grabbed my sketch book. No one seemed to notice or even look my way. I opened to a clean sheet, off white and smooth.
I looked outside to see if I could find any kind of inspiration out there. I saw some beautiful trees, a scenic looking bench, and I even saw some butterflies, but nothing was really jogging my muse. So I decided to look around the room. It was a normal classroom, walls covered in quotes that were supposed to spark the imagination, there was an American Flag hanging from the wall in the corner, there was a chalk board. Nothing screamed at me to start sketching it. I moved from objects to people. Most looked bored out of their minds, or they were scribbling down notes.
Bonnie was looking down at her lap, texting. I wondered how long it would be before Tanner noticed and took the cell phone away. I looked to my left and laid eyes on Matt. He was just a seat over from me, dressed in his football jacket and clean jeans. He was watching who other than Elena. Jealously was written right across his face, and he was not trying to hide it what-so-ever. So I followed his gaze and saw the new guy staring at Elena with that same face of admiration. Elena would sneak peeks at him, I noticed the longer I stared. But he didn't ever look away. His eyes were glued on the beauty before him and I wondered if he knew that staring was rude in some cultures.
That was when I got my inspiration. I started scribbling, as fast but as controlled as I could. I would get a good look at the picture in front of me, then I would draw some more. I knew that I was working too fast for this image to be perfect, but I had to get at least the basis down before I could forget. I continued to doodle for what seemed like minimal time to me, but must have been longer for everyone else.
"Ms. Gilbert?" A voice called, but I didn't hear it. I was too focused on the work in front of me. I drew another line, forming the jaw line of the new guy. It was strong, like the real thing.
"Ms. Gilbert!" This time it was a yell and I had to look up. Mr. Tanner, the devil himself, was staring at me, a very evil face glaring back at me. I could feel his mean old eyes burning holes into me. I felt my stomach drop and clench the more nervous I got. That was when I noticed everyone else staring as well. All eyes were on me and I couldn't stop the feeling of anxiety from welling up inside. I felt like I was going to be sick. Being the center of attention was definitely not my forte, and right now I was the only thing these people could focus on. My hands got clammy, my mouth went dry, and my face felt like it was on fire. And yet the staring continued, and my stress level was rising.
"Is there a good reason why you are not paying attention to my lecture?" Mr. Tanner asked. He knew I was uncomfortable, and I think the sick man knew that. He relished in it. There was a reserved spot in hell for this man.
"No sir." I mumbled, shifting in my seat. I could feel tears brimming my eyes, not because I was sad. I was angry, and when I was angry I cried. I hated it, but I couldn't control it. I was angry because he couldn't leave me alone; I was angry because everyone was staring; I was angry because the one stare of pity I received was from Elena. I was just angry, and I wanted to run away and hide.
"Would you like to share what you were doing with the class?" Mr. Tanner asked. My stress level shot through the roof at that question. This was like how every typical high school movie went. The teacher asked to share whatever the student had been sneaking, like a note, and read it in front of the class. This was usually followed by laughter and mean comments. And knowing Tanner I had a sinking feeling in my gut that he was going to be extra mean and do the same thing.
"No sir." I answered, barely loud enough to hear. By this point some of the student's attention was elsewhere, but some were trained on me. My eyes shifted to Elena for a split second who had a sympathetic frown on her face. I hated that she was doing that. I would have preferred she ignored me, but I wasn't that lucky. She may have sympathized but she didn't jump to help me either. She just sat there, with this stupid look on her face.
To my horror Mr. Tanner started to walk over to me, a slow and eerie pace. I could feel myself sweating with how nervous I was and I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. Sometimes I wished I was Harry Potter, that way I could have an invisibility cloak and disappear whenever I wanted. This would be the time to use it.
He finally reached my desk, looming in all of his hatred for human kind. He gestured to my sketch book. I held on to it tightly, not wanting to let it go. I wondered what would happen if I did hold on to it, refuse him to see it. I would probably get detention or suspension. Tanner had the principal wrapped around his finger, he could probably get me expelled if he wanted. So, I begrudgingly handed over my sketchpad, still open to the unfinished picture I was working on.
He looked over it with calculating eyes. I could feel the judgement pouring from his gaze as he looked over my sketch. I felt my pride begin to burn as he started to chuckle. He was laughing at my work, something that I was very proud of. How dare he laugh at the one thing that brought me joy?
"Alright then." He said, placing the sketchbook down on my desk. I scrambled to grab it and hold it close to me so no one else could see what I had drawn. Mr. Tanner then leaned down, much too close for my liking.
"You know stalking is actually really creepy in some countries?"
I met his gaze and sent him a glare. I felt like I should punch him in the face, some people probably would have. But I didn't have the guts or any strength behind it. He seemed to enjoy my anxiousness and smirked before he walked back up to the front of the class. He then continued his lecture and I sat frozen where I was. I wasn't stalking. I had just seen a beautiful scene and I drew it. That's what artists did. It wasn't weird. At least not to me.
I pulled back my sketch book a tiny bit to look at it. The sketch was rough but it was nice. It was nowhere near done, but I was proud of it. It was a simple drawing of Elena and the new guy staring at one another, lovingly. I knew to some people that would be weird, I guess it would be weird to most. Who was I kidding? I drew a complete stranger and my "cousin," a "cousin" who is not really my "cousin" and someone who I haven't spoken to in years. That was so weird; I was so weird.
My mom wanted this year to be different, to be better. A small part of me wanted that too. I was tired of being the girl that everyone looked down on. I was tired of being the loser who stayed in her room drawing people she saw on the streets. I was tired of being the girl that everyone thought they knew but they had no clue about who I really was. I was just tired of being me. It was time for a change. And I guess this year was the time to do it.