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Season 1 Episode 8 162 Candles
"When was the last time you saw Vicki Donovan?"
Lying dead on the ground.
"At work a few days ago." I swallowed when I answered. I hated lying, and lying to the law enforcement was killing the good girl inside of me. The sheriff had called me in, along with many of my other friends, to question us about Vicki's recent disappearance. I had mom drive me, she was worried but I told he that everything would be ok. Again, another lie. Everything would not be ok.
"Did she say where she was going?" Sherriff Forbes continued her interrogation. I could feel my eyes still puffy from a night of crying. Elena had tried to cover them up, along with my dark circles, but they were still prominent. Every time I closed my eyes I saw her dead body and I had to wake back up.
She's probably buried somewhere where Damon hid her.
"No." I answered, that wasn't a lie technically. Damon never told me where he hid the body. In fact, he hadn't talked to me at all. I'm no good for you. The Sheriff nodded. I felt my stomach churn with each lie I was feeding to her. I couldn't very well tell her what really happened. It was for the best that it stay a secret, even if it was at the expense of my sanity.
"Did you hear from her before her disappearance?" She asked. I shook my head, folding my hands in my lap. I had chipped off all the nail polish I had painted on my nails days ago. It was a nervous habit of mine.
"Well, she did call into work sick yesterday." I answered honestly. "I think she was out doing drugs."
"Right." Sherriff said before she looked back up at me. "Where do you think she would go?"
I shrugged. I wasn't friends with Vicki. We had talked a few times but it was a more business like relationship than a friendship. Even so, I still couldn't believe she was gone. I would never get to listen to her complain about Robert, or laugh when she played a joke on our fellow coworkers. I would never get to hear about her sexual encounters, even the ones with Jeremy that freaked me out a bit. She wasn't coming back and I had to hide that from the people who care about her. I felt like shit.
"All I know is… I don't think she's coming back." I said. The Sherriff looked me dead in the eye, like she had heard it before. I had talked this whole thing over with Elena, what we were supposed to say and what not to say. I guess the Sherriff could have seen that it was a little rehearsed, but she had no proof.
"Why?" The sheriff asked. I shrugged once more before looking down at the floor.
"Vicki has a wild streak." I told her. "She could be gone for days, weeks, maybe even years. I just don't believe she is coming back, anytime soon."
The Sherriff wrote stuff down on her clipboard before she stood. I followed her lead. She leaned over her desk and shook my hand, thanking me for coming out.
"If I hear anything I will let you know." I promised. The Sherriff thanked me once more. I nodded and turned to go. The guilt of lying to everyone was eating me alive. I wanted to tell someone, just so I didn't feel so alone.
As I walked out of the police station, I could see the other peers who had also been questioned. Matt stormed from the building, right past Stefan who tried to talk to him. I couldn't imagine what was going through Matt's head at that moment. He had to be hurting, confused, angry… but he had to feel sadness most of all. What do you do when your loved one just disappears? You mourn them just like you would if you found out they were dead. In this case, Vicki was dead, Matt just didn't know. Maybe it was better this way, to leave Matt with some kind of hope that she was alive. The image of her dead body, stiff and grey. I felt my head spin.
I turned upon hearing the door close behind me. Jenna, Jeremy, and Elena came out. She looked at me and then looked down. We hadn't talked about what was said that night. In fact we had barely spoken at all. I knew she was going through a rough time, but so was I. It bothered me that the fact she wasn't talking to me messed with my head. She hadn't spoken to me for 10 years and I was fine. Now, after I had let my guard down I couldn't imagine her not talking to me anymore.
That was why I didn't let her in before.
"Hey Alex." Jenna said to me with a smile. I had always liked Jenna. There was a playful disposition about her that made me want to get to know her, unlike her sister and brother in law.
"Hey." I waved to them. Jeremy nodded to me, looking much better than I thought he would. I wondered if he remembered anything from last night of if he was compelled to forget. Elena forced a smile, but I figured things were still weird after last night. She had accused me of liking Damon, but I hadn't given her good enough reason to think that was false. Damon made it clear that me and him being friends was a no go, let alone anything more. It still bothered me though, that he was the one to say that instead of me.
I wrote my attraction down to just that. An attraction, a crush, an infatuation. I couldn't like someone who had done all of these terrible things to me and people close to me. I was not going to be one of those girls that looked for the good in someone and found out too late that there never was any. It was messed up and so wrong. Even Damon tried to tell me that he was bad. So this… connection that we had… it had to be severed.
But I didn't want it to.
"Hey I'll meet you guys at the car." Elena said upon seeing Stefan. Jenna and Jeremy nodded and walked to their vehicle. Elena passed by me, gesturing for me to follow her. I did as she said and made my way over to Stefan.
"You two okay?" Stefan asked us. I nodded, as did Elena.
"I don't think the Sheriff suspected anything." Elena told him. "Jeremy had no memory at all. All he knew was what Damon made him know."
"Thank you." Stefan said. "Both of you."
I swallowed. I didn't think Stefan was a bad guy. From what I could tell he was the good brother. But Stefan couldn't be all innocent, he was a vampire just like Damon. But Stefan didn't feed on people, and I guessed that was better than how Damon chose to live his life. It was much less detrimental to everyone else.
"I'll see you guys later." I told them, feeding off the vibes Elena was giving me. She needed to be alone with Stefan, and I would give her that. I turned on my heel and headed in the opposite direction. It didn't bother me that I had to walk, I had time to clear my head that way.
As I walked down the streets of Mystic Falls, I thought to myself how much everything had changed. I wasn't the same girl as I was when this year first started. I had friends and I was having fun. On top of that, I had a huge secret that could jeopardize everyone's well-being that I couldn't tell a soul. It was so bizarre to think like that. I wasn't the Alex that started this year. I was completely different and I didn't know if that was a good thing.
I trekked down the side walk enjoying the fact that I could think to myself without any interruptions. I reached for my bracelet, fiddling with the pendant. I had come to like this bracelet, not only for its protection but also how it looked. It was my style, something that I could see myself wearing even if it didn't have vervain in it. Mom had asked me about it and I said that I had splurged and got it fir myself. She admired it, wanting to get a closer look. But I couldn't take it off, something I figured Damon did before he put it on me. She was confused by it, but she didn't question it too much.
It was Saturday, therefore there were teenagers lining the streets looking for something to do. I could hear people talking about Vicki and how she had disappeared, but no one had a clue where she was. I smiled to myself, being in the loop was a good feeling. But my smile faded when I saw Caroline not too far away.
It wasn't Caroline that I was upset about seeing, it was who was talking to her that made my stomach do back flips. Damon stood right in front of her, using his smirk and entrancing eyes to pull her in. Caroline didn't stand a chance. My protective nature kicked in and I marched over to them, but Caroline was already leaving.
"Couldn't stay away huh?" Damon asked once I approached. I stopped right in front of him, putting my hands on my hips. I probably looked like a spoiled little child, which caused him to smile.
"What part of stay away from Caroline do you not get?" I asked him. He rolled his eyes. I could handle Damon, but Caroline could not. That meant that I needed to protect her from his compulsion and his charming ways before she got hurt again.
"Relax." Damon cooed. "She's just throwing a party for me."
"A party?" I asked. He nodded reaching forward to catch a lock of my hair. He twisted it around his finger. "A party for what?"
"It's Stefan's birthday." Damon replied, still fascinated by my hair. "And I'm just in a partying mood. You should come."
"I've had enough party's." I told him. "Besides I'm working."
"Well then I'll see you there." He replied. I cocked an eyebrow. "It's at the Grill."
I nodded. Even when I didn't want to be a part of these schemes I always was. I knew that if Damon was throwing this then regardless of what I did I would have to get involved. Damon wasn't just doing this because he wanted to have fun, he could do that anytime. No, Damon was planning something, and I wanted to find out what.
"So what?" I asked him, arms crossing over my chest. "No elaborate scheme or plan?"
"Even if there was, I wouldn't tell you." He told me, leaning forward. "We're on opposite sides here."
"Right. Yeah I forgot." I said pulling my hair from his finger. "You're not good for me."
I could see him set his jaw as he turned from playful to serious. We stared at one another for a while, him cocking his head to the side. I didn't want to be upset that Damon didn't want to be friends. He just admitted we were on opposite sides here. But then again, the way my heart raced when he arrived told me that I was indeed upset by his rejection.
"I said that we shouldn't be friends." Damon said. "Shouldn't and couldn't are two different meanings."
"So what you want to be my friend?" I asked him. He licked his lips. I could feel my heart skip a beat as I watched him. He was the perfect hunter, everything about him drew me in. I couldn't get enough.
"We could start there." He agreed then smirked. "Then we will see where it goes."
"Where what goes?" I asked him, furrowing my brow. He chuckled.
"Like you don't know." He said before pointing in between us. "This thing we have going on."
"We do not have a thing." I replied. He scoffed. I didn't know what this was. We had a weird connection, something that I didn't understand. I could feel it before I knew his true nature. I didn't think even he understood it.
"Playing hard to get only makes me want you more." He said and wiggled his eyebrows. I turned to go, but he stopped me. "Friends?"
I stared him deep in the eye. He looked sincere, like he really wanted to try and be my friend. I didn't know if Damon could be friends with someone, but there was something that was going on between us that I couldn't understand. Maybe I needed his friendship to figure it out.
"Friends." I replied with a nod. He grinned. "You know friends tell friends their secret plans."
"And as your friend, I know that you don't need to be involved." Damon said. "This could get messy."
"This whole situation is messy Damon." I told him. "What are you doing?"
"Don't worry about it. Friends trust friends." He told me before he walked past me. I debated on following him, asking more questions. I didn't know if this whole friendship thing was going to work, but I guess I had to try. What was the worst that could happen? According to Elena, everything bad could happen. I just couldn't stop chasing after him, and it was starting to bother me. I headed down the street and to my house. I had about an hour before work so I figured I would do some house work.
It had been a while since I was just at my house all alone. I was either out defending the town from vampires or going to parties now. It was really weird to think that about a month ago I didn't get out like at all, and now it was all different.
I cleaned the house, getting into all the nooks and crannies. I knew it would make my mom happy once she got home. I had missed her too lately. Both of us had been busy lately, and also I was avoiding her. I couldn't lie to her, she knew all my tells and could pick out anything that was the slightest fib. I couldn't figure out how to explain everything to my mom, and I didn't want her to worry about me.
I was lucky when she didn't notice my puffy eyes this morning. She did give me a strange look though, like she knew but wasn't going to push it. Mom was good about that, staying out of my business. I appreciated it, it made it easier. Granted, I had never needed to hide something from her before, so this was new. I didn't like the lying and hiding, especially from my best friend.
After I cleaned the house from top to bottom, I went and changed. I pulled on a clean pair of jeans and a black Grill shirt. I wasn't dressing up for this party. I guess I was protesting in a way. I wanted to know what Damon was planning. He said it was going to get messy. That means it couldn't be good.
I rushed to the Grill, the place already starting to fill up. Damon was nowhere in sight, something I was slightly disappointed about. I wanted to see him, but I was also very curious about this plan of his. However, Caroline was already there, setting up things. She caught my eye and quickly looked away. I swallowed and continued to get ready for my shift. I could hear her heels clicking against the floor as she approached.
"Hey…" She said meekly. I turned and there she was. She looked very sad and slightly uncomfortable. I wasn't used to her being like that. I was used to self-assured Caroline. I was supposed to be the uncomfortable one.
"Hi." I replied, awkwardly tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. She seemed to be thinking about what she was going to say, opening and closing her mouth several times. I waited for her to say something, anything.
"You know I practiced everything I wanted to say to you like… a million times." Caroline said honestly. I watched her carefully.
"I wrote it all down… but…" She said and shoved her hands in her back pockets. "But all I can really say is that I'm sorry."
I knew that this was sincere. I could see in her eyes that this whole situation had messed with her. Yesterday, I thought that I could never forgive her, that what had been done was too much to erase. And yet, I spent the whole day with Damon and didn't bat and eyelash. Caroline wasn't the one who attacked me, Damon was. I couldn't forgive Damon and not forgive Caroline. It just wasn't fair.
"It's ok Caroline." I told her. She seemed surprised by my reaction, but her shocked face turned to a large smile in an instant. She pulled me to her in a bone crushing hug.
"I am so sorry." She repeated. "I really messed up."
"It's ok." I told her again, patting her back. It was good to let this go. Caroline never intentionally wanted to hurt me, but Damon had. Damon had hurt me more than once, and yet I continued to come back. It didn't make sense.
"I will do anything to make it up to you." Caroline vowed. I nodded and gave her a grin. She then turned and gestured to the room. "Killer party huh?"
"Yeah." I agreed. "Killer."
"It was Damon's idea." She said. I turned to her and gave her a look. "What?"
"Why are you talking to Damon again?" I asked her. She shrugged.
"I thought that maybe… we could work things out." She admitted. I pursed my lips. "Don't give me that look."
"What look?" I asked her heading behind to bar. Caroline leaned over it and gave me a know it all look.
"You get this look whenever you are judging." She told me, sliding into a stool. I tied my apron around my waist.
"I do not have a look." I replied. She sighed, watching me wipe down the bar. We were silent for a while. I knew that this was all Damon's fault, that Caroline couldn't control what he made her do. But I wanted her to avoid him, and from the looks of it, Caroline wasn't about to do that. She was too fragile and desperate to realize that Damon was bad for her.
I probably should have realized it too.
"I'm just giving it another chance." Caroline told me. I didn't respond. She sat there for a while before she sighed and got up to leave. I watched her go and felt utterly at odds with myself. I couldn't tell Caroline that Damon was just using her. It would make her want him more. The more I told Damon to stay away, the closer he got to her.
I began working, cleaning things and serving drinks. I didn't even realize when people started to pour in until I turned around and the place was packed. I sighed, knowing this was going to be a long night. I could see the bartended handing out drinks to under age teenagers, but I wasn't going to tell. It wasn't my place and besides he would cut them off before anything got bad.
I headed behind to bar to get a glass of water for table three when I felt a sudden breeze of air. I turned around and practically screamed when I saw him. He cocked an eyebrow, smirking at me like normal.
"Do you get some sick satisfaction with scaring the crap out of me?" I asked him. Damon chuckled, hands folded in front of him.
"You're very easy to frighten pretty girl." He replied with a wink. "Are you enjoying yourself?"
"Not really." I replied. "I'm not a party girl."
"Well, that much is obvious." He added. "You don't drink and you don't dance. You're kind of a buzz kill."
I rolled my eyes and took the glass of water to the awaiting table. When I got back to the bar he was still watching me. I was oddly becoming used to him staring at me, weirdly enough. I guess since he had been doing it for a while I guess I was just becoming accustomed to his weirdness.
"Have you seen Caroline?" He asked me. I looked up and glared. He cocked his head to the side.
"Why do you need Caroline?" I asked him, sounding very much like a jealous girlfriend. He must have picked up on it because he smirked at me.
"Jealous?" He asked me with a wink.
"Don't flatter yourself." I told him. "What do you need her for?"
"She has something of mine." He replied. I squinted. "The crystal."
"I'm pretty sure Bonnie still has it." I told him. He rolled his eyes like that was obvious information.
"Which is why I asked Caroline to get it back for me." He said gesturing for a drink. Once it was poured, Damon immediately started drinking it. I eyed the drink, eventually looking at his lips how they cupped the glass. I felt myself licking my own before I knew what I was doing.
"So, how is this plan of yours going?" I asked him once he swallowed. "Is everything working in your favor?"
"So far everything is great." He replied. "Thanks for asking."
"What are friends for?" I asked, my voice laced with sarcasm. He chuckled and I left him alone at the bar. I tried to keep myself busy, not focus on the fact that Damon was planning something and I had no clue what it was. I wanted to know, but I knew curiosity killed the cat. He had even warned me to stay away from all of this, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
I saw very familiar faces circling around, people I went to school with and such. I then saw Stefan, playing pool with a blonde girl I had never seen before. She was pretty, very jubilate and smiling. My first reaction was that Stefan was on a date with her, that he had moved on from Elena. But then I thought that he couldn't have moved on that fast, if this girl was a romantic interest she was a rebound. But as I watched them, I didn't see any romantic gestures or gazes. It was friendlier, or sibling like. But apparently I wasn't the only one reading too much into things.
"Do you think they are flirting?"
I looked over my shoulder and Elena was leaning up against a post. She didn't look at me, she stared directly at Stefan and his lady friend. I felt myself grin at the fact that Elena was jealous. Although I understood her reasoning's for the break up between her and Stefan, I just knew that there was something about this couple that would end up being an epic love story. I myself found that I wanted them to work things out.
"No." I replied. She made a face. "Go talk to him."
"I can't!" She replied, finally looking at me. "I'll look like a dork."
"Like you don't already?" I quipped. She glared at me. "It can't hurt."
"It totally can." She replied and then turned solemn. "Listen about yesterday…"
"Don't worry about it." I replied, taking my tray and beginning to walk off. She followed me.
"I was upset and confused." She told me. "I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I'm sorry."
I nodded. I knew that everything was fine. But there was a part of me that agreed with what she said last night. There was something that drew me to Damon and I couldn't explain it. It wasn't good or right, but it was there. Elena just called me out on it.
"I saw you talking to him." Elena said. "To Damon."
"Yeah… we are… friends I guess." I admitted. Her eyes widened. "I know I know."
"Alex, I don't want to tell you what to do but… I don't think that's a good idea." She said.
"He's different around me." I told her. "He's… nicer."
"I think he likes you. I'm not sure if its romantic or just a mutual understanding…" Elena told me. "But… promise me that you will be careful."
I nodded. I knew Elena was looking out for me, and I appreciated that she was doing so. But I could take care of myself, and although I knew that I shouldn't trust Damon, there was a part of me that wanted to.
"Talk to Stefan." I told her before leaving her standing in her spot. While Elena decided what to do about Stefan and Damon was plotting, I found myself being run ragged. These teenagers all over the place were driving me crazy. I was all over the place doing meaningless tasks just to keep up with them. They eventually started to dance, making it rougher for me to move around and not fall.
It became more and more difficult to move around and at some point I tripped on someone's foot. I knew what was coming, that I was going to hit the ground and I couldn't do anything about it. I closed my eyes, waiting for impact, but the impact never came. I was caught before I hit the ground. When I opened my eyes I was both shocked and relived at who I saw.
"Whoa there." Stefan said as he steadied me. "I got you."
"Thanks." I said and straightened out my shirt. I could see people looking at me and I felt my face heat up at my embarrassment. But I felt his hand come down on my shoulder and he gave it an encouraging squeeze.
"No problem." He said with a grin. I smiled at him too. I then looked over my shoulder seeing Elena talking to Stefan's blonde friend.
"Who's the girl?" I asked him. He followed my gaze and looked fondly at both women. They seemed to be enjoying one another's company, much to my surprise.
"An old friend." He said. "She's being my wing woman right now."
"Oh she is?" I laughed. "Well I hope it works out."
Stefan nodded and both of us fell silent. He then looked up at me seriously, forest green eyes focusing on me.
"I want to thank you again for not telling my secret." He said. "I know it is a lot to process."
"Yeah…" I added. Stefan and I barely spoke, and when we did it was more about vampires and game plans. I appreciated that he was thanking me, but I wasn't keeping the secret for him. I was keeping it because Elena wanted me to and if I exposed them I didn't know what Damon would do to me. But there was another part of me that didn't want to tell because of Damon. I was closer to Damon than Stefan, and I knew that he didn't want me to tell. I wondered if he would actually kill me if I told anyone. There was a voice in my head saying he wouldn't.
"I would also like to apologize." He said. "My brother brought you into this…"
"That's not your fault Stefan." I told him, eyebrows furrowed. "You can't control Damon."
"I know." He replied. I forced a weak smile at him. Poor Stefan felt guilty about everything, even when he had no control. Damon was going to do what he wanted when he wanted.
"My brother has no regard for anyone but himself." Stefan told me. "He has no humanity left in him."
I squinted at I looked Stefan over. I felt like he knew that there had to be some good in Damon, there just had to be. But I believed Stefan had given up on trying to find that good buried inside his brother.
"I have to disagree." I replied, to which his eyebrows furrowed. "He has shown some humanity to me."
In that second, Stefan changed. He turned very serious very quickly. He placed his hands on my shoulders, looking me deep in the eye. Although his gaze was just as beautiful as Damon's I wasn't entranced like I usually was when Damon did something like this.
"Alex, you have to listen to me." Stefan said. "Damon is not a good person."
"I know that he has messed up but-" I began but Stefan cut me off.
"No, you don't understand." He continued. "No matter how charming or sincere Damon seems, there is no humanity left in my brother."
"Stefan, I know that Damon is dangerous." I told him. "I know that he kills people but there has to be some part of him that still is human."
"No good can come from him Alex." Stefan urged. "I've seen his games, and I don't want you caught up into one of his tricks."
"I won't be." I told him, moving away from his hold on my shoulders. I wasn't stupid, I wouldn't get caught up into these feelings that arose. But there was something about Damon that made me feel like he was good. It was hidden beneath the bad, but I had seen glimpses of his humanity. Maybe I was the only one who could see it.
"Be careful." Stefan told me. I nodded and walked away from him. Stefan may have given up on Damon but I was determined to unleash his goodness. It had to be there, it just had to.
As the night dragged on I thought about my conversation with Stefan. I knew that he was just looking out for me, and I appreciated that. But I couldn't stop the fact that I was sure that Damon had some humanity in him. I wanted to find it and not change him but make him realize that being this bad guy, this monster that he was pretending to be, wasn't the true Damon. I had seen his mercy, he had shown me it several times. I just couldn't believe that the heatless Damon everyone else knew was the only Damon out there.
I watched from the shadows as the party went on. I was exhausted, feeling like I could pass out at the bar and sleep for a year. I knew that I had to keep going though. I was getting good tips tonight and I could really use the cash. I went back to the bar where Damon was seated. I didn't speak to him or acknowledge his presence, but I could feel him watching me. I pretended like I didn't notice.
I did eventually look up when I saw Stefan's blonde friend approach him. Something about the way they talked set off the jealous girl in me, that insecure feeling that I had to beat down. Damon wasn't mine, he could talk to whoever he wanted. I didn't own him. I continued to watch their little chat until I saw the sheriff and her deputy's come through. They marched right up to Stefan's friend and the next thing I knew they were catching her in their arms. It was like she was instantly drunk and couldn't hold herself up. They then began taking her away, much to the dismay of Stefan.
"What's going on?" I asked Damon as I rushed over to him. He was grinning, looking very self-satisfied. He looked down at me, a sparkle of devilishness in his eyes.
"Nothing to worry your pretty little head about." He said and started to leave. I grabbed his arm, although I knew I couldn't physically stop him if I wanted to.
"Where are you going?" I asked him. He wrenched his arm from my grasp and turned to me.
"You need to stay here." He ordered. I opened my mouth to protest but he was already gone. It only took me a second to decide my next move. I found Stefan and Elena who were heading toward any exit. They were all blocked with deputies.
"Follow me." I said, gesturing to the back. We cut through the kitchen, the cook yelling at us. I led them out the back door and into an alley way. Once there I was shocked and horrified at what I saw.
Stefan's friend, who I now could see was a vampire, had a wooden stake plunged through her chest. It reminded me of Vicki's dead body lying on the ground. But this time I was witnessing her die….
At the hands of Damon.
He had his hands clutched around the wooden stake, holding it in its place. The girl was lifeless in about a minute and had fallen to the ground. I could hear Elena weeping behind me, and I felt my own tears prick at my eyes as well. Not for the girl, I didn't know her. I was crying about the fact that I had been duped. Again.
Damon and the Sherriff shared a few words and for a split second we locked eyes. I saw no remorse in those blue orbs, not that I should have been expecting any. He still didn't show any regret about Vicki, why would he show any when it came to Stefan's best friend? I shook my head, blinking away the tears before I marched back inside. I didn't hesitate to clock out and grab my things. I told Robert that I wasn't feeling well and that I needed to leave. He protested but I was already gone.
I went out the back, not wanting to be questioned by police that were running around outside of the front. I wanted to go home and be alone. I knew it was stupid to be walking in the dark alone, but at that point I didn't care. I was too upset to think rationally. Not that there were any other dangerous vampires in town. No, the only dangerous one here was Damon. I shivered at the thought. I made it home in record time, locking the door behind me. I knew that was stupid, a vampire could get through my locked door before I even knew anything was happening. But it was more peace of mind than anything.
I trekked back to my bedroom and flipped on the light. I screamed when I saw that I was not alone.
"This is very… dark." Damon said as he looked over my drawing of him. Once I caught my breath, I marched over, ripping the drawing from his hands. "Well someone is angry."
I ignored him, putting my drawing back in my sketch book. I could feel his eyes on me the whole time, and the tension was growing by the second. I didn't know what I was going to say or do, I just knew that I had to do something.
"The silent treatment huh?" Damon began. "Pretty immature don't you think?"
I scoffed trying to make myself look busy. I kept my distance from him however, not sure how I would react if I was close to him. I was too unstable at that moment. I didn't know what I was capable of.
"I thought I told you to stay inside." He said to me, much closer than I originally thought he was. I turned and he was only a few inches away from me looking angry. I took several steps back, giving me some space. It infuriated me that he expected me to listen to him and obey his every order, when he couldn't be bothered to even listen to me. This was not how friendship worked, but I knew from the beginning that Damon and I couldn't really do a functional friendship.
"Was this your plan?" I asked him, finally pulling myself together. "To kill Stefan's friend? To hurt him? Did you plan this whole thing?"
"Yes." He replied without batting an eyelash. I swallowed. "I told you that it was going to get messy."
"Elena was right." I said ruefully. "People die around you."
"I never claimed they didn't." He said taking a step forward. I took another step back. He cocked his head to the side. "You're afraid of me."
I swallowed again at the lump in my throat, not speaking. He must have took that as his answer. I feared this side of him. The evil, sadistic side; his vampire side. He didn't reach for me or move forward. He just stood there and stared at me.
"You weren't supposed to see that." He told me. "I didn't want you to see that."
"Why?" I asked. "Because then I wouldn't know what a monster you are?"
He clenched his jaw and his fists balled up. I wondered if he was going to hit me, but he stood where he was, not moving toward me. I shook my head.
"What do you want from me?" I asked him. He didn't speak. "I won't be your slave girl."
"I don't want you to be." He said. "I don't have a lot of people I can trust. We are friends."
"Not anymore." I told him. "I can't be friends with someone like you."
We fell silent, staring at one another for a very long time. I could feel myself becoming more undone the longer we stood there. I hated feeling like this. All the lying and the fear, this wasn't how I wanted to live. But that was what Damon brought, and I couldn't handle that anymore.
"I thought that there might be some shred of good in you." I told him. His eyebrows furrowed. "But it looks like Stefan was right too. You have no humanity."
He said nothing and I felt the tears fall from my eyes. He stepped forward, wiping the salty tears from my cheeks. I flinched back.
"Don't touch me." I ordered him. He pulled back, looking very lost and confused at my outburst.
"I had to get the council off my tail." He admitted. "Lexi was the perfect way to do that."
"So what you can kill some more without being found out?" I asked him. He opened his mouth but then closed it. "You need to stay away."
"Alex-" He tried.
"Stay away from Elena. Stay away from Caroline. Stay away from Bonnie." I ordered before looking tearfully in his eyes. "And stay away from me."
He had this look on his face like I had just stabbed him. I stood my ground, fighting the urge to comfort him, to take it all back. Damon wasn't good, there was nothing about him that was good. I was just too stupid to realize it. He killed his brother's best friend without a second thought. He changed Vicki and got her killed. He had drank from me and abused Caroline. How could I have ever thought there was anything good about him?
"Get out." I ordered pointing to my open window. I could see his contemplation, whether he should stay and fight me on this or if he should just go. He opted for the latter, making a move to leave.
He was gone before I knew it. I rushed to my window, locking it even though I knew he could break in if he wanted to. I crawled into my bed, not bothering to change. I curled up into a ball and cried until the darkness over took me.