.hack/EVA: Catharsis: Inversion of Shade
Disclaimer: In this universe in the quantum foam, I do not own or in any way shape or form hold a claim to the .hack series or Neon Genesis Evangelion (or of course, any other GAINAX series I might reference here).
" " denotes speech
'italics' denotes thought
'bold' denotes location names
'bold italics' denotes skill use
Tokyo-3 General Hospital
It was quite an impressive thing, really, how quickly the human animal was able to adapt to changes in routine when it was forced to. In the course of only about a week, the Slayer of Angels had resigned himself to waking up before the dawn, fixing breakfast, and then heading out to Tokyo-3 General hospital to visit his comatose girlfriend, spending an hour or so sitting beside her in the hope that perhaps his voice would help her to come back to herself—as well as to remind himself why he fought.
'Can you hear me I wonder?' the Third Child asked silently, taking a deep breath. 'This voice of mine heading down into darkness, echoing the words you gave me in our time together…words I hold in my mind and my heart. To be strong, that I am not alone, that there is something I can do—in this I find meaning, so I know what I feel isn't futile, as I run onwards towards the ever-distant horizon, never wavering—no time for lament.'
"My only regret," he spoke into the shadows, "is that I could not protect you that time, that you had to sacrifice yourself to save me. But I will not fail you again, because I believe in the Reimeiki-chan who believes in me, in everyone who believes in me, and after everything I've done, everything I've been through, I've come to believe in myself. The Shinji Ikari in your mind, the Shinji Ikari in mine, the Shini Ikari in everyone's minds…I don't fear them anymore, because I have faced myself…and won."
'The only thing I fear is that I might fail, that I might find myself screaming alone at night, having withstood pain to forged myself into a weapon, only to find myself unwanted and shunned. But I know that will not happen, because my feelings tell me otherwise,' the brown-haired boy reasoned in his mind. 'So I will not waver, because you gave me a task to fulfill, and I will not accept failure. As long as I know that you are there, I will not accept that our precious days together have ended, and so I'll bring you back…I'll bring them all!'
"Though…I wouldn't have minded if you'd chosen to save yourself either," he said, half-smiling. "This way, I'm the one who has to do all the work…and worse, deal with Asuka. I really don't know how you found it in yourself to be kind to her when she was so cruel. But then again, maybe the self that watches is right, that she's just running away in a different fashion."
A quiet click sounded amidst the whirrs and beeps, as the door opened and closed, another figure coming in and sitting beside him as he continued to speak.
"But regardless of that, I've realized my indispensable truth: that I am nobody but myself," Shinji murmured confidently, his posture shifting to reflect his words. "For many years I chased after Father, wanting to become like him—but I've realized that in chasing someone else's shadow, I was only running away from who I was and am. And the one person you can never truly run away from is yourself, because no matter how far you run…that self will be there, watching."
"That's very insightful, Ikari-kun," chimed in Hikari Horaki from her seat next to the brown-haired boy, almost causing the Third Child to leap out of his skin in shock. Seeing his reaction, she couldn't help but get a bit of teasing in, subtle vengeance for the Arena match. "What's wrong? You don't seem quite as fierce as you did in the Arena yesterday…are you sure you're not just getting ready to say 'who the hell do you think I am' while striking a heroic pose today, 'Emperor'?"
"I'm not the Emperor yet," the Third replied dryly, simply raising an eyebrow, "Besides, I'm the one who beat you, so shouldn't I be the one doing the teasing? Anyway, if you want theatrics, I think Touji has enough hot-bloodedness in him for all of Class 2-A. Isn't that why you like him in the first place…and why you found made an excuse to make lunch for him today?"
In response, the Class Rep looked down and flushed, avoiding his eyes. Perhaps it was him, but the blush of embarrassment seemed to heat up the air-conditioned hospital room by a few degrees, rivaling even the luminescent output of Shinji's own nova level blushes.
"Its-its—its not…" the pig-tailed girl stammered, finding it difficult to speak since the Third Child had found her weak point in her emotional defenses, and had assaulted it with a verbal prog knife. Then she deflated with a sigh, turning and asking. "Was it really that obvious?"
"Painfully. Look, I might be dense, but even I'm not that dense," Shinji replied, rolling his eyes. "Besides, even if you claim you can't stand him, spending that much time with him, trying to shape him into a 'real man' and then offering to make him lunch—to paraphrase…well, you…you kind of give the lie to your words. Even if you do try to pass off making an extra lunch for him as leftover disposal—you picked the right way to charm him. Touji's heart is through his stomach."
"That's funny," she quipped, mischief in her eyes. "I would have thought it was through his eyes, for all that he talks about breasts, thighs, or…calves? I never understood the last one, really, but that's the Idiot Duo—Invincible Perverts, for you."
"Leave it to those two to be known for perversity in both worlds," the Third Child snorted, as he and Hikari shared a look and a moment of laughter before both of them sobered.
"So how is Reimeiki-chan doing?" the Class Rep asked, regarding the comatose silver-haired girl fondly. "You visit her every morning before you go to school, so I thought you'd be the first to know if there were any changes. And I thought since there were rumors that she'd been seen in The World…"
The brown-haired boy grew quiet as silence wrapped itself around him like a heavy traveling cloak, his eyes unfocused as he recalled both the rumors on the message boards and the words of Aranami-sensei.
"The sister of Aura wanders The World, like a ghost, or so the old dothackers say," he said distantly, reflecting on the last few hectic days that had begun with the battle against Iruel, and had now led to him being the chosen one to face off against the AIDA-PC Eris. "But she is blind and mute, searching for the fragments of herself—of which I hold only her fate, and after our trainings in the Outer Dungeons, her dreams (in the form of 'smaerd . cyl'). The battle to free her from this fate is coming … will you be by my side for that contest of wills?"
"I did promise you that we'd fight the threat together, right? Besides, I'd rather fight by your side than by any other in The World, Ikari-kun," Hikari declared, steel in her voice, triggering a very light blush from Shinji, who was now listening very intently to her words. "Because though we are Chaotic PK and PKK, we understand each other very well, as both of us are people who push ourselves beyond the impossible, and when push comes to shove, we stand and fight, showing no mercy even to ourselves when it comes to what needs to be done."
The pig-tailed girl reached out and gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze, as her smile twisted and her voice took on a markedly lighter tone as she brought up the topic of his other battle companions.
"But are you sure you don't want to work together with Team Graphics Unbelievable again?" she asked half-seriously. "From what you've said, Piros the 3rd and Natsume the Edgemaniac fought beside the last Bearer of the Bracelet, so they understand the dangers. What's up with those two, anyway? I know Natsume is a rumored Chaotic PK, and from the way she fought, I can believe it, but I don't know anything about the 'Slow Doberman'…aside from the fact he really got on Touji's nerves."
Shinji harrumphed then, smirking all too knowingly.
"See, you mentioned Touji again," the Third Child pointed out, causing Hikari to make ready her defensive Trojan Wall of protests before he waved her down. "Yeah, Piros the 3rd… he really does like roleplaying great heroes with nonsensical titles, doesn't her? I mean, 'the magnificent eagle man of cloudy blue weather'? That doesn't make any sense…"
"Heh…it makes just about as much sense as the Slayer of Angels calling himself the Dark Evangel," the pigtailed girl commented, inducing a wince from the player behind that character.
"Or a certain Class Rep whose name means 'light' calling herself 'eternal darkness'?" the brown-haired boy shot back, with the girl in question holding up her hand in a request for a verbal truce. "As for Piros, from what he said, he's a graphics programmer at CyberConnect Corporation who really likes his job. As for Natsume…I'm not sure if she realizes she's a PK. She seems to think that all the rare equipment she finds in her inventory is the result of…our Dark Queen playing a trick on her. They're…not exactly the most normal players of The World."
"That coming from you or me doesn't exactly work, since we're now dothackers…and our lives are nowhere near normal," Hikari noted, prodding Shinji in the chest with a long finger. "You and Rei pilot giant robots, Reimeiki is the sister of The World's goddess, and I'm a dothacker with the power to kill AIDA. The only normal ones are the others in our class."
"Speaking of class, we should probably be going, since Aranami-sensei won't go easy on us just because we're working for her now," the brown-haired boy murmured, rising to his feet and giving the silver-haired girl on the bed a last fond look. 'I'll see you tomorrow, Reimeiki-chan.' "I hope you wake up soon, Reimeiki-chan. I miss you."
"I wonder what she sees when she's wandering The World…it might be a better world than this one, even with things as strange as they are," the pig-tailed girl sighed, shaking her head. "At least there are no Angel attacks…well, except for Iruel…"
"Yeah…and the AIDA…that's what started all this…"
On their way out, Shinji thought he saw Maya Ibuki out of the corner of his eye, but as he was going in the opposite direction, he couldn't be sure.
Terminal Dogma
Meanwhile, deep in the bowels of NERV, an unshaven spy lurked outside the main LCL generation plant. It was a place warded in secrecy, with its contents officially known only to the three highest ranking members of NERV (Commander Ikari, Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki, and Dr. Akagi), but the rogue agent named Ryoji Kaji had no problems with violating the rules if it would take him closer to the truth.
'It is time to see if the information provided to me by Bith the Black is of any real use…to see if there is truly an Angel in this place. I know of Adam, since I delivered it, but could this truly be the Second Angel?'
Stolen access card in hand, he made to swipe it through the reader to open the heavy blast doors separating him from the chamber of secrets—but was stopped by the metallic click of a gun being cocked, with the barrel pointed at his head.
'Well, the warning did say trespassers would be shot on sight, and since I have not yet been shot…it is likely that whoever is behind me may be friendly. The list of suspects who would hesitate is an extremely small one, having to both work for NERV and be willing to spare me. To be specific, it is a list with only one member, Misato Katsuragi.'
Leaving his hands where the person behind him could see them, the spy turned his head slightly to confirm the identity of who he suspected it to be.
'Purple hair, and a familiar angry face…perfect. I can work with this.'
"How's your hangover?" the unshaven man asked casually, sounding for all the world as if he had simply run into his ex at a coffeeshop, instead of in a restricted area where she was authorized to use lethal force to prevent intruders from entering. 'The time trusted tactic of refuge in audacity…'
"It's gone now, thanks to you," the purple-haired Director of Operations responded personably, still holding the gun to the rogue agent's head, of course.
"That's good to hear."
And then the Major grew more serious, asking the more or less expected questions for someone discovering him in this situation.
"Is this your real job? Or is this just a part time affair?" she inquired dispassionately, mouth set in a disapproving line.
"I don't know, myself…" he answered, an evasion that wasn't quite what Misato wanted to hear but would put up with for now.
"Ryoji Kaji is a member of NERV's Special Investigations Division," the Major recited from memory, "Yet at the same time Ryoji Kaji is also in service to the Japanese Ministry of the Interior."
'Ah, she's missing a few factions…and she doesn't seem to know about SEELE. This is good, I can feed her information, especially concerning the Angels…'
"So you knew about that," the spy replied without much of a reaction. Sudden movements or flinching could be decidedly bad for one's health when someone held a gun to one's head, and had a bit of a violent streak of provoked.
"Don't underestimate Nerv!" the purple-haired Director of Operations admonished, beginning to get irritated with his nonchalance.
"So was this ordered by Commander Ikari?" he wondered aloud. If it was, well, then it was game, set, and match for him…if not, if she had come here of her own free will where she had no business being either, then the situation could definitely be turned to his advantage.
"No, this is of my own will," Misato said firmly, warning in her voice. "But if you pursue this part-time job further, you'll die."
'Not by your hand, dear Katsuragi, and not today, or you would have shot me already. It does not pay to have attachments in this line of work, but perhaps I can turn you from your loyalty to NERV…'
"Commander Ikari has his uses for me, so I can continue," the unshaven man voice noncommittally, letting a pang of regret seep into his tone. "But I do apologize to you for keeping this a secret."
'Yes, just a little remorse…'
The purple haired Major sighed.
"Since I appreciate what you did yesterday, I'll let this pass…once," she allowed, plainly wanting him to turn around and head back to where he had come.
'But I've come too far to go back now…I've always been a gambling man, and if my sources are correct about what lies within, I can both catch a glimpse of the contents of the LCL plant, and show her a reason not to trust the Commander so easily…'
"Thanks," the Special Investigator said gently, with a smirk of sorts upon his face. "But I should tell you, the Commander and even Rit-chan have kept something secret from you."
Swish! A fast, but nonthreatening swipe of the hacked card through the reader, with the light changing from yellow to green, the blast doors rumbling open to reveal—
'So…my source was accurate after all…'
"And this is it!" he stated, as Misato's face froze in a mask of shock at seeing what lay within: a white giant crucified upon a massive red cross, pierced through the torso with the two-pronged Lance of Longinus. A clear orange liquid, LCL, dripped from the unhealing wound of the Lance, filling the lake around it…this was how NERV acquired all the LCL for its needs, by sapping the blood of an Angel. "Sear this into your eyes…this is the truth you have been searching for."
"This is…Eva?" Misato spoke, voice low and panicked at being confronting with the unknown, no, worse, with a figure from her nightmares. "No…this is…this is…"
"Lilith, the key to the First Impact, the Second Angel, mother of humanity, who formed the Black Moon NERV was built in. Adam, the key to Second Impact and everything else since, is elsewhere on this base. If ever an Angel should meet one of these, it will be the Third Impact."
"Lilith? Adam? The First and Second Angels are here in headquarters? I've underestimated NERV…" the Major spoke, frozen in place by the revelation. What she hated most in the world was being hidden by the very organization she worked for, kept secret even from the operations director…
'I suppose everything is going according to a scenario…though whose, I would not know at this point.'
Tokyo-3 1st Municipal Junior High School, Classroom 2-A
With the absence of Hikari Horaki, keeper of order & tyrant of Class 2-A, the gossips and rumormongers who so thoroughly infested said class flourished this morning, speculating on the reasons why she wasn't early as usual, the conditions of the absent Ayanami and Hakubo, the mysterious transfer student Kaworu Nagisa (who looked very much like Rei Ayanami, or some said), and of course (appropriately enough given that this was a class taught by Morganna), happenings in The World, including the Arena match that had happened the night before.
"Did anyone else see Arena match between the Dark Evangel and the Unyielding Shadow last night?" one asked excitedly, posting a captured video of the fight onto his personal website. Given the way the message boards had been buzzing after that duel of blades, with many users clamoring for an instant replay or two, this would likely give his site some much desired hits.
"Yeah...and Tomoyami was awesome!" gushed one of her recent admirers (read: fan club, not Touji). "Did you see the brutal punishment she unleashed on her opponent? And that kill at the end…a scythe of light…she's so strong…"
"If you've ever seen her get angry at the Idiot Duo, you'd already know she was capable of such things," another commented dryly, looking at the two males in question. "I mean…really, don't get her mad, or…"
"…bad things will happen, we understand," one of the problem students noted, remembering her tendency to correct disciplinary issues with healthy infusions of pain and toil. "I mean…look what happened to…"
He didn't have to say anything else, as the entire class glanced towards the irritable Second Child, who as usual was sitting alone, nose in the air, pretending this conversation wasn't happening…though the way her eyebrow kept twitching—to say nothing of how her head swiveled on her neck to glare at the student who had spoken—made that a little hard to believe.
'I guess it's because of the fact that we all play The World, but sometimes this class seems to be an extension of the message boards, given what we talk about in the mornings,' mused Kensuke Aida, the bespectacled member of the Idiot Duo who was participating in the discussion via IMs, thoroughly enjoying the wave of emails congratulating him on his performance. 'But…I don't really mind…at least now I'm appreciated instead of being called the strange military otaku. Hm, I guess playing The World is one of the more normal things I do.'
"Heh…" he threw out for the sake of conversation, "Try being on the field against a Chaotic PK like the Edgemaniac…I mean, I've heard that that PK once defeated the Bringer of Strife after the latter ambushed her."
Asuka's act of not being able to hear anything crumbled, as she grit her teeth and glared daggers with her eyes at the bespectacled boy.
'I'll…I'll kill—"
"As if the Bringer of Strife had any skills that could possibly compare to what we saw last night," added a cocky Touji Suzahara, his hotblooded antics the night before having only bolstered the reputation of the Idiot Duo/Invincible Perverts in both worlds. "I don't know if you remember, but back at Sif Berg, Tomoyami kicked the Bringer of Strife's ass as that lesser PK tried to run away."
'Lesser PK? What the hell are you saying, dummkopf? And why are they gushing over…that slut and that baka Invincible Shinji? Everyone always does this…everyone ignores me…the true master of all, ME! Why? Why can't they recognize my genius as Kaworu does? He's the only one who has ever appreciated me!'
"You might say she's nothing," the Second Child spat, taking the bait, eyes blazing with rage, "but she's the greatest of all Chaotic PKs! The one feared throughout The World, who will defeat the worthless Dark Evangel for the title of Empress! Aren't postings warning newbies about her all over the message boards?"
"Not that I've seen," objected one of the more reasonable students in the class. "Lately the boards have been flooded with rumors about the Dark Evangel, who people claim have gone over to the side of the PKs, with some saying he's so terrifying in battle that those who have faced him lost their will to play The World. The Bringer of Strife…she hasn't been seen recently, maybe she's gone soft or is hiding from the Dark Evangel?"
"WHAT?" Asuka roared, fists clenched as she bolted to her feet, intending to unleash the fullness of her wrath upon these insolent wretches, the last binds of her conscience snapping as she realized her plan had backfired. "WHAT DID YOU JUST—?"
Click! Such a soft sound, the door opening, but it was enough to silence the red-haired beast, as Class Representative Hikari Horaki entered the room, with the Third Child Shinji Ikari following just behind her. Brown eyes met blue in a great contest of wills…but regardless of the Second's desires, this was Hikari's domain now, and within it she had the power to utterly destroy anyone she didn't particularly care for…as Asuka knew well after the events of the other day.
"Good day, Soryu-san," the Class Rep said icily, as she took in the unwelcome presence of the arrogant redhead. "You seem unreasonably angry today…so please, go out into the hallway and assume the usual position. The buckets are in the closet."
"Of course, Horaki-inchou," Asuka acknowledged unwillingly as she stormed off in a huff, her voice taking on rather sub-arctic qualities as well. "Don't let me stand in the way of your thronging masses, Tomoyami. You make me sick."
'Next time there's an Angel, you're going down, bitch! And that baka Shinji Wonderboy is going to die along with you! Since you two spend so much time together, why don't you both rot in HELL! You and the Idiot Duo can join your little blunette friend in eternal sleep!'
The Second Child accepted this small humiliation for now, as she would surely get her revenge. If only Kaworu hadn't been out at NERV again for one of his special sync tests, since according to him, Unit-00 was acting up once again.
'Heh…of course it would, without my glorious presence to force it to comply,' the redhead thought arrogantly, sniffing that anyone might think himself a better pilot than she, she who had trained for her role since the days of her youth. 'But I guess even a replacement like him appreciates the genuine article instead of that stupid Invincible Shinji!'
At least the hallway was quiet, a place where she didn't have to deal with the taunts and jibes from those who knew her identity in The World, much less spend time in the company of the megalomaniacal Class Representative. And there was something almost soothing about being forced to carry buckets of water—something refreshing visceral, allowing her time to focus her anger, and plan out in intricate detail how each of her foes would suffer before they died in excruciatingly horrible ways.
As the redhead stood there, stewing in her thoughts, Morganna walked by and gave her an almost pitying look, one of the expressions that the Second Child hated most in The World. And for a brief moment, the two really looked at each other, with Asuka being the one who broke eye contact, seeing a certain indefinable something there that seemed almost…inhuman.
The woman in black walked off, leaving behind only a soft laugh and a few words for the Pilot of EVA-02.
"You are here, no escape from my visions of The World…and to dare to hope is the best spice to bring out despair."
NERV HQ, Sync Test
After a long day of class, followed by an awkward lunch period where the Class Rep was discovered to have made lunch for the resident Jock (inducing reality warping amounts of squee and inciting the rumor mill to as much of an frenzy as the audience during any Arena match), the Children once again found themselves at NERV, as the never-ending cycle of sync tests, harmonic tests, and cross-compatibility tests wore on.
The reactions of the Children to these were rather varied. Kaworu didn't particularly mind, what with the constant smirk on his face as he hummed the melody of "Ode to Joy", something that was seriously beginning to get on Shinji's nerves. While the Third Child did have a great appreciation of music (and indeed, was an excellent cellist), hearing a song over and over and over again did tend to be somewhat annoying, to say the least. Given that Shinji Ikari didn't particularly enjoy either sync tests (for the smell and taste of blood they entailed) or Kaworu's company, he was rapidly developing a Pavlovian dislike to the famous tune.
For Asuka though, the tune was something from her homeland, a sign that in spite of everything that had gone wrong in her life, someone stood beside her, meaning that everything would be all right. Yes, she had experienced hardships and terrible losses, but the Second Child had climbed the pinnacle of power and now stood at the very heights of infamy in both worlds, known as one of the elite EVA pilots, the renowned saviors of humanity, as well as the notorious PK Eris, Bringer of Strife.
Hence, though she outwardly showed annoyance during these rather monotonous tests, they were secretly a bright spot in her days, reaffirming the truth of her existence, the truth of her superiority over all lesser mortals. Yes, the Third Child might have killed more Angels than she (which she rationalized by mentally labeling him a gloryhound out for the approval of his father, or surrogates of such), but a mere kill count didn't matter.
To pilot EVA was about the strength of one's heart, with what grace one could control one's biomechanical war machine, and in that arena, it was the great Asuka Langley Soryu who was most competent. Indeed, to date, her sync ratio had never been bested, a grand point of pride for the arrogant redhead, who liked to mention it as proof that she was the best.
But as Morganna was so very fond of saying, the higher up something is dropped, the worse the crash will be…
Today, at least one of the staff members observing the test (the Operations Director) seemed very tired for no particular reason, citing "private reasons" and refusing to elaborate. Whish was understandable, as learning that an organization one joined because of its stated mission to eradicating the threat of the Angels was actuallynot completely honest in its mission statement (as they kept two Angels in Headquarters, where they could very well destroy the world) could horribly alter one's perception of the world. Even now, she found herself nursing a headache, almost wishing for the blessing of ignorance once again, as cold reality began to sink in.
"How are the Children?" she asked irritably, trying to get her mind off the events of this morning.
To which Maya smiled, indicating the synchro-graphs of the three with a simple "Look at this."
Misato looked over at the numbers, did a double-take and looked again, eyes widening at…
'That can't be right…can it? With everything that has happened to Shinji in the last few weeks, his sync ratio is…that's almost unbelievable. I hope knowing he's done well will help him to be happier. Maybe he'll be less distant…'
Sure enough, the Director of Operations had found something to distract her from her slump
"Wow," Misato breathed, reaching for the microphone to communicate with the pilots. "Can you hear me, Shinji-kun?"
Hearing his guardian's voice echo in the entry plug, Shinji stirred from his dream-like trance of contemplation.
"Hmm…" asked the brown-haired boy, curious to see how he had done this day. "Ah, Misato-san! What are the test results?"
"…"
A long pause gave him just enough time to doubt when—
"Congratulations, Shinji! You're number one!"
Had NERV's staff included any telepaths, they would have been deafened by the raging emotions of the Second, as she reeled in shock and rage, punching the side of her plug in an attempt to drown out the now-hated.
'WHAT? The one certainty…he beat me? This…its…its not possible. The Invincible Shinji-baka, hero to NERV. He's so "wonderful", they say, so "strong", they say, and now he DARES to claim my title as best? VERDAMME SIE! I knew it…they're all out to get me, to dethrone me, to steal everything that makes me who I am. Well they can't, because its MINE…all MINE! MINE! MINE!'
In the entry plug of Eva-00, Kaworu simply smiled enigmatically, closing his eyes as he hummed on.
'AIDA is drawn to people's deepest passions, whether they are positive or negative…and in doing so, magnifies them, releasing id from the binds of ego, that they may sink into their own depths. And now comes Leliel…'
Then a zebra-striped sphere blinked into existence above the Fortress City of Tokyo-3, and calm turned to chaos.
Tokyo-3
Outside NERV, the city sweltered in the harsh light of the sun, an artificial desert of twisted metal and glass spires created by the technology of man, as a mysterious black-and-white patterned sphere simply materialized above it, its shadow alone scaring away the birds below. Silently, it crept ahead, floating in the air as if waiting for something…
"The target is advancing slowly at 2.5 km per hour," reported the stoic Shigeru Aoba, analyzing the data as it came in over sensors. "The observation center on Mt. Fuji did not detect it, as it suddenly appeared above us."
"The MAGI labels this as unknown as Pattern Orange, with no AT Field detected," added the other male tech on the bridge, the bespectacled Makoto Hyuga.
"What does this mean? Is it a new type of Angel?" asked Misato, all business now, fatigue banished to the rear of her mind as she now had an enemy before her.
"The MAGI won't commit to a decision," responded Maya, who watched as the three icons of the supercomputing trio blinked on and off, indicating a digital squabble over insufficient data.
In EVA units 00 through 02, the Children stood by, hiding behind skyscrapers so as to remain out of sight of the unknown intruder in their airspace. Their orders were to approach carefully and observe its reaction, leading it outside the urban area if possible.
'I'll definitely get the kill this time…and prove that that stupid Invincible Shinji is useless!'
Without warning, Asuka charged, her progressive axe held high as she leaped high into the air, intending to end this with one blow, spinning about and bringing the weapon down upon—nothing, with the sphere vanishing without warning.
"What?" she screeched, landing on top of a skyscraper, furious that the target had escaped death by her blades.
And then a massive shadow appeared on the streets, the body of the Angel called the "Jaws of God" revealing its true form, as the city below began to sink down into it.
"Shadow? No!" she cried, any cares or worries of collateral damage banished as she played hop scotch, leaping from building to building to avoid sinking. "The city is.."
"Pattern Blue confirmed!" came a voice from headquarters, though whose, she had no idea at the moment. Survival was the priority, not the careful discrimination of who had dropped the ball and made the identification too late.
The sphere blinked into existence once again, as another voice came in over the radio.
"Shinji, Kaworu," ordered the Director of Operations. "Rescue Unit 02. Hurry!"
The Third and Fourth Children complied (albeit unwillingly in the case of the Third), raising their Evangelion sized guns and unleashing a storm of lead on the angelic invader…to no effect, as it disappeared again, expanding its shadow to try and swallow up the other two pests.
Unit Zero managed to jump to the top of a building, but Unit 01, caught in the middle of the shadow, was not so lucky—bad luck exacerbated when Unit 00's sniper rifle "accidentally discharged", shooting Unit 01 in the back and severing his umbilical cable, the resulting loss of tension causing it to sink into the black mass below its feet, along with a good portion of Tokyo-3.
Seeing nothing they could do, the other units hastily retreated, bounding their way across the city back to the launch shafts in a "tactical withdrawal." When they returned to headquarters, and the news broken that Unit 01 had been lost with the Third Child still aboard (the entry plug ejection code had failed to work, as per usual), it was all Asuka could do not to break out in maniacal laughter.
'So it seems I have the last laugh, you not so invincible BAKA SHINJI. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!'
Above the now deserted streets of Tokyo-3, the spherical shadow simply floated, its mere presence taunting her as an enemy she could not defeat.
Sea of Dirac
Hours passed slowly in the Dirac Sea for one who could do nothing, see nothing, feel nothing. He tired of sleeping, of sitting, of marking time, waiting for death, for it seemed that the Third Child had finally met an Angel he could not defeat with force of arms, one that sought to kill him with wiles rather than sheer might.
"And I fell into its trap, while having to save her, the one who has caused others so much pain," Shinji groused, remembering how his last orders had indeed been to save Unit 02. He didn't know if the production model and the redhead inside it had escaped, but he hoped so, if only so that someone could utterly destroy her, and so bring back the Lost Ones. 'Salvation and destruction are linked…and if I can't be there to defeat her, at least Hikari-san will. Heh…how ironic, I defeat one Unyielding Shadow only to be consumed by another…'
He smiled weakly to himself, sighing with the realization that the batteries of EVA-01 were beginning to give out. The LCL was getting muddy, smelling more and more of blood as the life support systems began to fail, and as the oxygen slowly gave out, Shinji passed into unconsciousness.
Or so he thought, for moments later he awakened in a sea of black, his body sluggish, barely there as around him was spread an eternal endless night, an infinite expanse of darkness where he could see nothing except the certainty of ever looming death.
"Is this how it ends then, with a whimper and a sigh?" Shinji asked himself quietly, too tired to move around and have a look at his surroundings. "My journey and my quest is already over before it began…"
"—only if you choose for it to be so, Dark Evangel," a voice commented from above him—as an all too familiar figure hurtled out of the shadows, knocking the Third Child down with a flying kick to the face, following up by reaching down and hauling him to his feet. Once again, blue eyes stared into red, as Skari, the self-within-the-self, stood before the hapless Shinji in silence. And then he spoke: "Hey you, grit those teeth!"
Without giving the Third Child enough time to adequately respond to his warning, the Adept Rogue flew at him, delivering a brutal uppercut to the brown-haired boy's jaw that sent him reeling.
"Eh—argh! Why?" Shinji managed to croak, bringing his hands up in a pathetically weak attempt at defense, only to be met with a knee to the stomach and a jab to the side, the pain bringing him to his knees. "You are me, so why are you doing this? Isn't it bad enough that I'm going to die without you humiliating me?"
"Die?" the other asked scornfully, his eyes flashing with barely repressed rage as he loomed over the Third Child, his voice building to an impressive bellow. "What do you mean die? Do you really think I will let you off so easily? Who the hell do you think you are?"
Unable to run away from himself, Shinji simply knelt there, expecting another slap…which never came.
"Slayer of Angels, Dark Evangel, the Bearer of the Bracelet, that's what they call you, isn't it?" the Adept Rogue snapped sarcastically, simply jabbing two fingers at Shinji's brow and forcing him back. "Well you know I call you? A hypocrite and liar of the worst kind, worse even than that bitch, Asuka Langley Soryu. Look at you, you're pathetic…you can't even get up, can't fight back, can you, even though we're in your mind? You think that just because you've been swallowed up by this Angel of the Night, that you are going to die...and call yourself a hero? The great so-called Invincible Shinji, just a coward looking for the first opportunity to run away, an Alastor, a demon of revenge, without the ability to exact that vengeance. Who would want you as you are? Right now, you're weak. Right now, you're worse than useless."
"I-I…" Shinji trailed off, not sure how to respond to the accusations of the self within.
"Such a fool!" Skari continued, drawing out the wickedly sharp gunblade that Shinji recognized as Demon Slice, the very weapon he had used in his fight against Tomoyami. "Wallowing in self-pity yet again? Don't you dare pity yourself…do something about your situation. Kaworu may be a real bastard and manipulator, and he might be wrong about many things, but there was one thing he was spot on about: that humans were remarkable in their ability to self-deceive. Fine, if you really want, you can give in to the end now, without even trying to find a way out…just know that you've doomed Reimeiki-chan, who was wrong ever to have loved a worthless cretin like—"
"You bastard! Take that back!" Shinji roared, suddenly surging to his feet and summoning his Lit Honeysuckle dual swords from midair. "I'm not going to abandon her, Skari! JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?"
He charged, dual swords crashing against bayonet with a resounding clang as the two selves, perfectly matched, fought a vicious duel for honor, movements blurring in a sort of fearful symmetry as they clashed against one another.
"Good, you're finally fighting back," Skari smirked, disengaging from Shinji with a deft twist of his arm that sent one of the Lit Honeysuckle blades skittering away into the shadowed expanse. "And as for what I said, make me, Shinji Ikari! Show me the strength you have forged with your own two hands, Dark Evangel!"
'I'm…not to going to lose to a shadow of myself, because I am the only one who can define who I am!'
The Third Child stepped back from his outspoken critic, switching weapons so that he mirrored the other exactly.
"Then I will, Skari," the brown-haired boy resolved, his voice quiet, bit grim with determination. "Because I'm not afraid of you…how could I be afraid of myself?"
"Oh, you're not afraid, are you?" the other asked, grinning wickedly, his silver robes reflecting only the darkness of the surrounds. "You should be."
Once again they clashed, twin antagonists with but a single focus, to defeat the other.
A fast overhead strike, blocked, sideswipe, deflected, both spinning, lashing out with feet, sending each other sprawling, whirling about quickly to slash and hack and twist, blades striking and rebounding from one another, clashing again and again as they scythe the air, light against darkness in a deadly dance of weapons.
Neither would surrender, neither would give in, because to do so would be mean that he was in the wrong, and so they fought.
In the boundless chamber before the end, metallic clanks and bangs ring out, mixed with the pitter-pat of a footstep forward or back as the battle raged on, to the accompaniment of ragged breathing and laughter in a syncopated staccato. Weapons crashed together in space filled with sparks, a killing zone created from thrust, parry, riposte, remise, where anything entering would be cut to pieces.
And then…
Yet again, both figures sent each other sprawling to the floor, but this time, Shinji hesitated a moment too long in getting up, leaving his defenses open as the Adept Rogue rushed in and skewered the Third Child through the gut.
"A valiant effort, but ultimately futile," the blue-haired Skari sneered, shaking his head in derision. "You've lost, Shinji Ikari."
"Oh really?" shot back a defiant Shinji, glaring at his foe. And suddenly, Skari realized the position he was in, as the tip of a blade was pressed against his chest with an ominous hum. "Dodge this..."
'Oh…shit…'
"...DUST BULLET!"
A brilliant blast of azure light flared from Shinji's weapon, and at point blank range, was unavoidable, hurling the Adept Rogue away as if struck by the fist of an angry giant. For a few long moments, all that could be heard was the labored breathing of the self who watches, but it was soon interrupted by an sickening squelch and the faint tap-tap-tap of footsteps as the Third Child limped his way over to his fallen foe and stood over him, wielding a Demon Slice in each hand, an orb of blue gathered before each blade.
"I won't ask you again, Skari…take…it…back!" the brown-haired boy whispered quietly, to which the other grunted his assent.
"Very well, I guess you're not as worthless as you seem. You have grown stronger since last we met, Shinji Ikari…" the self who watches noted dispassionately, 'hmph'ing as if recalling something. "Or perhaps you simply realized the truth of…the law of equivalent exchange, that to forge a miracle, a sacrifice must be made?"
"Yes…I finally realized what that meant when I had to fight and beat you," Shinji replied, allowing both weapons to fade away into thin air. "Your defense and my attacks are perfectly matched, so to win, I had to make myself vulnerable, less like a hedgehog. Only by letting myself be hurt did I gain the power to truly beat you, because you opened yourself up to strike me."
"Indeed," the double replied, exerting his strength as he rose to his feet, and faced the Third Child with an approving expression. "To accept a momentary setback in exchange for a greater victory is something that one must learn…even now, inside the Angel of Night."
"What do you mean?" Shinji asked, curious as to how there might be victory when one had already been consumed."
"From the outside, this Angel was invulnerable, as the body you shot at was but an imaginary circuit, a part of the whole that was only an illusion. The true nature of it is the Shadow that swallowed up your EVA, bringing us into this endless void, this sea of negative energy," the Adept Rogue explained, gesturing at the vast expanse where the only light was from the two figures themselves. "This infinite sea of darkness is the belly of the beast, and in swallowing us, it has brought us into its most vulnerable point."
"Oh? And what am I supposed to do, cut my way out?" Shinji asked incredulously, looking out into the darkness. "A knife won't work here, when I have almost no battery power here."
"True, a knife wouldn't work," conceded Skari, a twinkle in his eye. "But we don't even need a knife, simply a connection to the outside world. If you do not have a weapon that will bring you victory, imagine what will, Shinji. Believe in yourself, but if you cannot-then believe in the self that believes in yourself, for you hold in your hands the power to break the Angels and send them screaming back to heaven. Think for a moment, or rather don't think…feel the answer in your bones, the truth you grasped in your duel with Tomoyami."
"The truth that I…" the Third Child's eyes widened as he remembered exactly what he had said at the close of battle, after withstanding the most powerful of Tomoyami's blows. "Of course…my feelings, the sense that I have already lost too much to be beaten, the certainty that I can stand in defiance and forge destiny with my own hands. That I am no one but myself."
"Yes…that's right, just let slip the binds of reason, which can only take you so far," the Adept Rogue said with a smile. "Now…let us turn to the abyss before us…and make a fool of fate."
"Heh...you're on."
The room of black faded, and groggily, Shinji Ikari opened his eyes to find himself in the entry plug of EVA-01, with barely any power remaining. 'Well, it's now or never…and the self who watches was right…it's time to escape this false world! Loose the binds of reason…'
With a few swift movements, the Third Child switched from life support mode back to full output, as the systems whined back online, leaving EVA-01 with barely a minute of power remaining.
"If it is darkness, so am I, who walk the path of Twilight," he resolved, reaching deep into his mind for something that he knew lurked there, in the depths of id. "I cannot die because I have not reached my destination…I don't care about logic and what it says I can and cannot do. I know only this…that I can win…that even if I have been consumed by this creature of darkness, my feelings alone shall break down the door…even if the cold of infinite void goes against me, I will cut through fate, breaking through the dimensions to find my path through force. For I am the Shinji, I am Skari, I am the Dark Evangel, and if I can beat even myself, then this shadow of being cannot defeat me, at least, not until I am through and done with you."
An AT Field snapped into existence as the jaw restraints on EVA-01 broke loose, for once, perfectly in sync with its pilot, and for a moment, Shinji thought he could feel the presence of his mother guiding him, lending him strength.
'It is as I said to Tomoyami: "Do you really think I won't be able to beat you if you stand between me and saving the Lost Ones? I'll show you my determination...my feelings and experiences: good and bad, for better or for worse…all them are going into this strike!" I may not know what happens tomorrow, but here and now I am alive, and here, I will not lose!"
A roar of defiance filled the void, as EVA-01 went berserk.
NERV HQ
For the first time in years, a beatific smile graced the face of the Second Child, Asuka Langley Soryu, who was quite pleased with the events that had transpired. This time, she would not have to share the credit for slaying the Angel with that bastard Invincible Shinji. Indeed, she would never have to share the credit with him again, since with the force salvaging of EVA-01 from within the Angel would surely kill off the Third, even if he were not already dead.
'Even if he is a stubborn wretch, there's no way he can survive the blast of 992 N2—WHAT THE HELL?'
The ground rumbled and shook beneath her EVA's feet, as the Angelic shadow upon the earth was shot with crimson lines, flame and blood erupting out of darkness as it cracked open, a howl of unstoppable rage echoing from an unseen source.
'What…what's happening?'
In the sky, the Angel's shadow quivered, shook, distended, the patterns of light and dark warping and bleeding together until it was but one smooth black—and then bloody fingers punched their way through the featureless sphere, ripping a rift in its body, as the head of Eva Unit-01 emerged in a shower of blood.
'Wha…what…that's not…possib…what the hell is he?'
And then it tore free with a shower of high pressure blood, the renegade EVA Unit leaping up and away from the Angel's remnants, tumbling forward through the air and landing in a combat crouch, looking directly at EVA-02 and EVA-00, as a faint whisper came over the radio, audible to all in range.
"I will not yield to the darkness…nor lose my way to discord and the bringer of strife," it rasped quietly. "Nor to mockery and the ridicule of those who hurt the ones I love, for it as nothing compared to this. Don't take me lightly…who the hell do you think I am?"
A cloak of silence descended on the city once more, as EVA-01 lost power at last, standing alone in a pool of blood.
'Do I…do I pilot something like that? What kind of monster is the Third, really? Is...is he…an Angel?'
'Interesting…how did he induce and control the berserker form?'
'I wonder...did the Dark Evangel come to understand his essential truth?'
'Such power…how will NERV use the EVAs after all the Angels have been defeated…'
'And so the avatar of freedom moves one step closer to his final destination…'