.hack/EVA: Catharsis: Hvergelmir
Disclaimer: In this universe in the quantum foam, I do not own or in any way shape or form hold a claim to the .hack series or Neon Genesis Evangelion (or of course, any other copyrighted works I might reference here).
" " denotes speech
'italics' denotes thought
'bold' denotes location names
'bold italics' denotes skill use
Recoil
A young boy dreamed, but in the dream, he was not fighting his double—having already faced down that shadow many times in the past, gaining the will to fight against all odds. And it was not as if an epic reboot from depression was what was needed in the here and now—in some ways, Shinji Ikari just needed his sleep, not really having had a chance to rest for a long time. So why was it that he was restless even in his dreams, catching glimpses of impossible things here and there?
He saw once a little silver-haired girl clad in a red dress, holding tight onto a spear as she plunged it into her chest, with a shocked lancer of sorts standing before her as she slowly faded away. It shook him to see that, especially when he recognized the young girl as Lycoris, and noted that the lancer looked…almost like him, but tanned and with…
'Eyes like that binary star Alberio…' the Third realized, blinking as the scene faded, and another took its place—a metallic purple hand, bloody with the remains of some crushed figure, as strands of grey hair drifted down to a pool of orange liquid far below. 'What…EVA-01?'
And then the world fell through the floor as a long thought forgotten scene dredged itself up from the shadowy recesses of his mind to be replayed in full color and sound, shaking him to the core.
'This is…this is…Mother?!' Though he had not seen the face in years, he recognized the face all too well, as for a second time, he stood helpless, watching a memory that could not be changed.
Ten years ago, a little boy had leaned against a pane of glass, watching as technicians hustle-bustled about the framework of what seemed like a giant purple robot. His father had brought him to GEHRIN, the place where both he and his father worked, much to the displeasure of some of the older staff. After all, his mother had told him that it was important for him to witness the future, to see the hope of humanity—though at that time, he didn't know why humanity needed something more to believe in than the simple virtues of love.
Then the contact experiment happened, Mother vanished into EVA-01, and Father subsequently abandoned him…until the day he was summoned to Tokyo-3 once again, to pilot EVA.
'An Oni's chance…0-9 system, Dr. Akagi called it then…and yet it worked. The berserker mode, the feeling of protection that I feel when I am in my entry plug…is it because Mother is in there?' he mused, mind racing through different EVA related topics until a set of crimson eyes derailed his train of thought. 'Wait…why does Rei-chan look like mother? Eh, it's probably just coincidence…blue hair and red eyes don't exactly run in any family I know of.'
The painful memory winked out, with Shinji finding himself awake and looking up at lights on a most familiar ceiling (though he did it wasn't, as NERV Medical wasn't the most pleasant place to be in the best of times), with the only sound in the room the sound of muffled sobbing from the bed next to his, where the Fifth Child was curled up miserably into a ball, rocking back and forth, eyes glazed over and unseeing.
"Hikari?" the Third asked gently, his voice catching as he took in the miserable state his friend was in. "Hikari, are you…?"
But she wouldn't turn her head towards him, only repeating the same thing over and over.
"Why…why did you have to die…why did you have to leave me alone like this?" she whispered hoarsely, able to speak her feelings only now that the one she loved was dead. "I'm not that strong, Touji…I want to be, but I'm not. So why…"
Making up his mind, Shinji rose from his bed, tiptoeing over to his friend's side and placing a hand on her shoulder.
"Inchou-san," he said quietly but firmly, hoping the use of her title, and the bit of physical contact would break through the shell of loneliness the girl had erected about herself. "Inchou, look at me…"
As if a current had shot through the pig-tailed girl, she stiffened at the Third Child's touch, turning her tearstained face slowly to him, forcing onto it a pale semblance of a smile.
"I thought I told you to call me Hikari," she spoke in a tiny voice, one that almost vanished into the stillness of the room. Her eyes were cold as the arctic gale, showing the result of misery piled on misery, as even a strong one could be broken in time. "Shinji-kun…"
"Y-yes," the boy stammered, not quite sure what to do now, or how to make her…
"…hold me," Hikari whispered hollowly, her body trembling and not just from feeling the chill air of a NERV Medical ward when she was only in a hospital gown. "Please…its cold…so cold…I don't want to be alone right now."
Biting his lip, the Third almost gave in to the pleading tones in her voice, but halted himself, swallowing, as he tenderly stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, a contact that the pig-tailed girl leaned into as if confirming her existence.
"You should know, if I do, it probably won't end well," he murmured to her, voice full of regret. "It seems that everyone I get close to suffers…"
But the eyes boring into his would not let him be with that denial.
"Baka," her lips shaped, using Asuka's favorite appellation for the brown-haired boy. "I don't care about that…just…hold me."
Unlike his father, the Third was not a man with no emotion, and he caved, shaking his head before sitting next to Hikari and wrapping his arms around her gently—a hug she returned fiercely, clutching onto Shinji as if he were the only thing remaining in the world, burying her head in the crook of his neck while shaking like a leaf.
'Even though she tries to be so strong for everyone, right now, she's just a weak, lonely girl. A girl who fell in love with boy and had him snatched away by a being crueler than any other. The Fifth Child she might be, or the Unyielding Shadow, but she must be so alone right now…'
But in his own grief, he couldn't find words enough to comfort her, so he just sat and held onto the crying girl, rocking her gently back and forth as his mother used to do for him long long ago.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, stroking her hair as he held her close, doing what little he could for her. "I'm so sorry…"
"No…"
"I'm sorry you had to get involved with me, with everything, with EVA," he continued, listing out the litany of his perceived sins as if the pigtailed girl could absolve him. "I thought…I thought I was strong enough to protect everyone, but in the end, I couldn't protect you, or Rei, or Reimeiki-chan. I couldn't protect Touji—"
Crack!
The sound of an open palm striking a cheek echoed in the room as Hikari pulled her head up to meet Shinji eye to eye, leaning uncomfortably close to him, forehead to forehead.
"Baka," she sighed softly, "It's not your fault…we chose to do this, each one of us, so stop taking everything on your shoulders. Besides, if I was a better pilot, then maybe…well, you saved me in the end."
Embarrassed at being so close to the pigtailed girl, the Third Child averted his eyes from hers as she continued.
"In The World, I was strong, and I thought I could be here too," the girl murmured hollowly, "But even though it was supposed to be impossible, you saved even me, just like you try to do for everyone. Not like me, I who—"
He cut her off by suddenly embracing her, pulling her head onto his shoulder.
"Don't talk like this, Hikari, as if you were already beaten," the brown-haired boy said gently, looking into the distance. "You would not alive after all this is you were not brave…if you were not strong. You are Hikari, you are Tomoyami…and in both, you do your best. Or was that all a lie?"
Hikari swallowed hard, shaking her head.
"It wasn't a lie…I have my pride you know," she retorted, with the barest hint of a smile on her lips—lips she brushed gently against the Third Child's cheek, causing the boy to blush furiously. In silence, they held their places, consoling one another with mere presence, as both Children drifted off to sleep once more—this time, to the dreamless void.
Reverie
As Dr. Akagi and Major Katsuragi had feared (for different reasons—the good doctor caring mostly about getting Unit-01 back to operational order, while the Operations Director wanting to bring back the First Child), the salvage operation had failed. Not only had the ego-border signals and electromagnetic probes failed to stabilize the First Child's lost form, but the entry plug had ejected, dashing any last hope they might have had of rescuing her.
In its cage, EVA remained motionless, though the armor had been stripped from around its core in an attempt to stimulate it directly—to no avail. EVA seemed as heartless now, as Rei Ayanami did to those who did not know her—or no, worse actually, as EVA had swallowed souls and bodies whole, taking away people's hope.
One of those whose hope was nearly gone was the Third Child, who knelt in the puddle of LCL remaining after the experiment had concluded, clutching onto Rei Ayanami's plugsuit and weeping as if he had lost everything in the world.
"Give her back, damn you," he whispered woodenly, feeling something like an icicle pierce his heart. "Give her back…"
'She's gone…she's really gone now…just like Mo—'
A strange tone sounded from the exposed core of EVA, one his ears found all too familiar.
'What? A above middle C? But that is…'
And then he was rendered speechless (for several reasons), as rings of azure light flared into existence, revealing the nude form of a pale figure with blue hair and red eyes, with a midnight blue yukata spread beneath her feet, wearing nothing but a smile.
The onlookers gasped in shock and astonishment that the blue-haired girl had emerged…and then gaped at the Third Child's reaction—as the brown-haired boy lost control, rushing over to the side of who he thought was his lost love, embracing her tightly—and capturing her lips with his, uncaring about who might see them. So sudden it was, so intense, that Zefie was left unable to react coherently, with her body responding for her, pulling Shinji tightly to her.
'Wait…what am I…' Eyes widening, the Child of Dawn realized her situation, pulling her head back slightly with a moan.
But before she could speak, Shinji had murmured "Rei-chan…I'm so glad" once more and sealed her lips with another kiss, this one gentler and full of emotion.
'Even if it's only for a while…all I want is to spend a few moments of happiness with someone dear to me…'
From the Control Center, Maya blinked at what she was seeing on the screen, resisting the urge to cradle her face in her hand.
'Oh my goddess…that's right…Shinji doesn't know its Zefie in that body,' she thought to herself, finding that the expression of surprise came naturally. 'Now why do I have the feeling that everything just got a lot more complicated?'
"I…I…Skari-kun," Zefie whispered, momentarily forgetting her role as, red in the face, she finally managed to break away from the Third Child's hold, as the medical team rushed her off to the infirmary to check her over for injuries, with Shinji uncharacteristically happy, at the thought that Rei had finally returned.
'This is curious…how a simple touch can inspire such warmth within the chest and loins…is this what she feels when he kisses her? It is strange, but…pleasant…unlike the emotion I feel when I see Siarl. That emotion makes me want to "beat the crap out of" him, but this one makes me feel…light.'
In the distance, Tabris looked on at the spectacle the two were making of themselves and fought the urge to growl at this turn of events.
'So…once more, Rei Ayanami finds her way back, and now will likely take back EVA-00. This was a complication not foreseen by my scenario…and how did she manage to wake up, when no other coma victim has yet, a condition I have seen to personally. But this anomaly...it is an obstacle that must be quickly eliminated, no matter if I have to reveal some of my power…'
Redoubt
Two figures lay entwined in the bed of a cheap motel, basking in the afterglow of their lovemaking, an act that deceived both of them into thinking they were less alone than were, an act they used to deceive others in their little game of cat and mouse and cloak and dagger. Rogue spy and operations director—or just two old flames reaffirming their existences.
"I'm sure that Ritsuko despises me as an indecent woman now," the purple haired woman murmured, tossing her head as she considered her friend, the so-called friend who kept so many secrets. 'Not that I don't have a few of my own.'
"Those who live for desire are more real as humans," the unshaven man spoke with one of his little lady-killer smiles on his lips. It was, perhaps, a little unnecessary now, but all the same, old habits were hard to break. "And perhaps…we may deceive them a little."
"Our intelligence agency?" his lover questioned, sniffing, eyes narrowed. "Commander Ikari or Ritsuko? Or even me?"
"Not you, but me—each human alone, each person separated by others by choice and circumstance," the ponytailed man said quietly. "It is tiresome sometimes."
"You're really like my father sometimes…"
The man responded with a simple harrumph, raising one of his eyebrows and chuckling.
"Did you come to see me because you want to know more about that?" he asked, seeing through his companion all too easily.
"Yeah, that's one of the reasons," she replied. "I'm honest, don't you think? Right now, it's important that I let you know my wishes. What is the true goal of NERV and Commander Ikari? And what is behind the case of the coma victims? The World Network Council was even implicating hackers and the Children."
"Third Impact."
Like a verbal N2 Mine, those two words seemed to have sucked the very air from the room.
"What was that?" Misato hissed, white as a sheet, shaking her lover like a limp dishrag. "What do you mean Third Impact?"
"It is why NERV exists, to wield God's power as a tool…no better than an Angel."
"Then how can one stop them?"
"I want to know that myself."
For a few moments they were quiet, until another question came to Misato's mind.
"The artificial human, Evangelion, and the global network," she spoke suddenly. "Although both were created by humans, don't you think the black box is too large?"
Nothing at first, then…
"Uunngh! Wait, don't dodge my questions by doing that!" she cried out, as Kaji turned to more pleasant diversions than answering. "Ah, no, don't put weird things in! AHHH!"