Twilight belongs to the ridiculously talented Stephenie Meyer.
A Father's Hope belongs to me.
A HUGE thanks to twimom817 for beta'ing. This wouldn't be nearly as pretty without her.
I have to apologize ahead of time … I actually never intended for the last chapter to be a cliffie … but as trusting as I am of myself (which apparently I shouldn't be lol) I didn't think twice about checking it against this chapter. I didn't realize that a good part of the chapter was missing. A HUGE thanks to darcysmom as well for reading over Bella's story and assuring me that my re-write worked.
Chapter Eight
"There's something I want to show you, Edward," Bella said softly as she rose from her chair taking my hand and leading me into the bathroom.
She pushed me down on the closed toilet lid and took a deep breath. Bella backed away from me and reached to unbutton and unzip her jeans.
"Bella …"
"You need to see this, Edward. You need to understand why."
She pushed her jeans down to reveal raised, angry pink scars against her beautiful pale skin. They ran from mid-thigh to mid-shin. I kneeled down in front of her and gently caressed her skin. I kept my eyes on her face waiting to see what her reaction would be. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly as a few tears slid down her perfect face. I peppered soft kisses along the scars on both of her legs before tugging her jeans up.
I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her to my chest as she sobbed lightly against my shirt. I gently rubbed her back in circles hoping it was soothing to her.
"Those scars don't define who you are, Bella. They certainly don't make you any less beautiful. In fact, I think they make you more beautiful, if that's even possible," I whispered softly.
She took another deep breath and began her story.
"I was nineteen when I got engaged. Jake was my best friend and the love of my life. He had taken me out to dinner to this really nice restaurant, then he took me to the sculpture park and that's where he proposed. We were so happy and couldn't wait to get home to tell our parents.
We never saw the car coming at us. Jake only looked over at me for a few seconds. He picked up my hand and kissed my ring telling me he was so happy I said yes. After that all I remember was the sound of a blaring horn, the screech of tires and metal on metal. They had to use the Jaws of Life to get me out. The paramedics told me that Jake died on impact. My kneecaps were shattered and part of my left femur was broken. I had a few broken ribs and a punctured lung. Bruises, cuts, and scrapes covered pretty much my entire body. But the pain – the pain of my injuries was nothing compared to losing Jake. My injuries I'd recover from, but I wasn't so sure I'd ever recover from a broken heart."
Bella was upset after telling me her own story, so we sat together on a lounge chair on the balcony, my arms wrapped around her while I told her mine. I found that her presence was soothing to me and my touch seemed to be calming to her.
I spoke for what seemed like forever. Not skimming over any of the details, I told her about every argument and every fight that Irina and I ever had. I told her how we'd met and how quickly I'd fallen in love. I told her exactly how I felt the moment they placed Chloe in my arms the day she was born - the day I became a dad. I told her how devastated and heartbroken I'd felt when Irina admitted that she was having an affair and how betrayed I'd felt that she had brought him into what I thought was our loving home. Irina had lied to me and I had a hard time coming to terms with the loss of her. Although we hadn't been getting along very well those last few months I was in Iraq, I still loved her; she was still my wife.
"I'm so sorry, Edward," Bella said softly. "I can understand why you're so closed off."
"It's absolutely silly compared to what you went through, Bella. It makes me feel like I've acted like a complete asshole."
"No, no, no. Edward … shhh … don't say that. Everyone deals with grief in their own way. There is no right or wrong."
I stayed quiet for a few minutes as I let what she'd said sink in. At first I didn't agree that it was grief, but the more I thought about it – it was. I was grieving the end of my marriage; the end of my first serious relationship; the fact that Irina wasn't mine anymore. Bella stayed right there beside me, rubbing gentle circles on my back – just as I'd done for her earlier.
When I glanced over at her, I saw nothing but understanding in her beautiful brown eyes. She shivered as the air had become a bit cooler as we talked and snuggled into me a bit further.
"Come on, beautiful. Let's go inside."
"I'm kind of enjoying being this close to you, Edward," she said shyly.
"I like it too," I breathed. "But come on, it's getting too chilly for you, I think."
As much as I liked being close to Bella, she seemed chilly and I really didn't want to chance her catching a cold. She reluctantly agreed and followed me inside. I checked on Chloe while Bella was in the bathroom, and I quickly changed into pajama pants and a t-shirt. I laid down on the other bed and waited for Bella to come out. When she did she was wearing a pair of Tinkerbell pajama pants and her tank top read 'I don't do mornings'. She looked adorable.
"Come here," I said, motioning for her to join me.
"What about Chloe?" Bella asked softly.
"She's fine, Bella."
Hesitantly, she laid down on the bed beside me, her hand reaching out and settling on my chest. I laid my hand on her waist and pulled her closer.
"You're afraid it will happen again …" Bella said softly.
I nodded. "Yes. Just the thought of going through that again scares the shit out of me."
"I can imagine. I went through a phase like that. Your type of situation is more likely to repeat itself than mine, unfortunately. It took a few months of therapy for me to realize that."
"You're so strong, Bella. You've been through so much. I'm sure your recovery process wasn't easy let alone coming to terms that he's … gone."
"No, it wasn't. Eventually I realized that Jake wouldn't want me to live my life that way. He'd want me to be happy and vibrant like I was when I was with him. He wouldn't want me to fold in on myself and hide from the world. Jake would want me to find someone I love and who treats me right. I had to want to move on if I wanted to recover. I needed to recover to move on; so I had to find a way to do both. I pushed myself physically and mentally. It was hard, but I think I'm a better person because of it."
"I want to deserve someone like you …" I said softly.
"What makes you think you're undeserving?" Bella asked.
"I don't know that I could make you happy, Bella. I might be able to, but I don't know if I could keep you that way. I wouldn't want to fail you, Bella."
"Oh, Edward …" Bella crooned, cupping my face in her hands. "You could only fail me if you didn't try."
I covered her hand with my own and leaned into her touch.
"Bella … I think I want to try … for you."
Bella leaned into me and gently pressed her lips against mine. I kissed her back and it was sweet and soft and filled with promise.
She sighed when I pulled away.
"Sorry," I apologized. "It would be so easy to get carried away with you."
Bella blushed beautifully as I ran my hand up her arm.
"Can we stay like this just a little longer though?" Bella asked softly.
"Are you okay?"
"Mmmhmm. You're just warm and comfy, that's all."
I chuckled as I gently kissed her temple and watched as her eyes slid closed. When I was sure she was deeply asleep, I rose up from the bed and gently lifted Bella so I could pull the blankets up over her. I tucked them in securely around her before silently slipping into bed with Chloe.
My dreams that night were riddled with a broken and grief-stricken Bella. The vision of her devastated facial expressions made my heart hurt so badly I jerked up in bed. I looked over to Bella's bed and I heard a whimper.
"Edward …" Bella cried.
I was immediately out of bed and by her side.
"Bella … hey, I'm right here, beautiful. You're having a bad dream," I said softly.
Tears were streaming down her face, and she wiped at them as she slowly woke up.
"Edward?"
"I'm right here, Bella."
"I just had the most awful dream."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I dreamt that you walked away from me. I showed you my scars and you walked away," she sobbed.
"I'm right here, Bella. I'm not going anywhere."
The next morning, I woke up with my arms still wrapped around Bella and an excited Chloe bouncing on the bed behind me.
"Daddy!"
"Shhh, Chloe. Bella's still sleeping."
"Why are you in Bella's bed, Daddy?"
"Because Bella had a bad dream, baby. She was upset and needed a hug and then I fell back to sleep. I'm sorry, Chloebear."
"That's okay, Daddy. Cuz you give the bestest hugs."
I chuckled.
"Mmm … yes he does," Bella giggled beside me.
We had breakfast and checked out of the hotel before heading back down to the beach. I made sure Bella was okay with it before we did so, but even if she wasn't she would have endured it for Chloe and me. Chloe fell asleep on the ride home and Bella and I chatted quietly in the front seat about everything and anything. I told her how I hated that my summer with Chloe was coming to an end and that I'd soon have to make the trip to California to return her to Irina.
"She'll be back for Christmas right?" Bella asked.
"I hope so. I hope there isn't another fiasco like last year. I'd prefer not to repeat that."
Two weeks later, I found myself talking to Bella on the phone the night before I had to return with Chloe to California. Chloe had long since been tucked into bed, and I was looking forward to taking Bella out on an official "date" as soon as I got home.
"Have a safe flight, and I'll meet you at baggage claim," Bella promised.
"You don't have to pick me up you know," I reminded her.
"I know, but I want to. I haven't seen you in two weeks, Edward. I kinda miss you."
"I kinda miss you too, Bella," I chuckled.
Irina barely said ten words to me when she met us at the airport to pick up Chloe. She glared at me and said "See you at Christmas, Edward."
I swept Chloe up a huge bear hug and kissed her on the cheek.
"Be a good girl for mommy, okay?"
"Okay," she nodded.
"Remember, Chloebear, you can call me anytime you want, okay? If you wake up with a bad dream or something, you can call me. I love you so much, baby girl."
"I love you too, Daddy. I love Miss Bella, too. Will you tell her?" Chloe asked.
"I will," I chuckled.
I watched as Irina and Chloe walked away and I heard Irina ask, "Who's Bella?"
I knew exactly what Chloe would tell her.
I couldn't wait to get off that damn plane when I arrived back in Washington. Two back to back three hour flights with a two hour layover in the middle was not my idea of a fun day. Thankfully I didn't have to worry about luggage, just a carry on backpack that my mom had helped pack with things for Chloe to do on the plane and a book for me to read.
When I saw Bella standing there waiting for me in baggage claim, my heart jumped a little. She had a beautiful smile on her face and held out her hand as I got closer to her. I sweetly kissed her cheek, making her giggle.
"Hey, handsome."
"Hey yourself."
Bella drove us to downtown Seattle and we went to the Pike Place Market. We walked along all the shops talking and enjoying each other's company for a while before we finally settled on a place to eat dinner.
"So you're starting the detective program in a couple weeks, right?" Bella asked.
"Yeah. I'm really excited about it, actually."
I watched her carefully as her face fell just a bit.
"Bella … what is it?"
"I just hoped that maybe we'd see each other a little more that's all. I know you needed to spend time with Chloe. I'm just being selfish I guess."
"No … I hope that we'll get to see each other more too. I just need to get settled into this new program and then we'll figure things out, okay?"
Before I knew it, I was a month into the detective program and things with Bella and I were progressing. I still rarely saw her during the week because I had so much homework I felt like I'd never surface, but the weekends we were rarely apart. She lived in a nice little apartment not far from where she worked and that's where I usually spent my weekends.
The first time she invited me over, she made an amazing dinner of grilled salmon, baked potato and broiled asparagus.
"My mom always said the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Jake hated fish and seafood so I'm really glad that you liked it," she said after I'd told her how good it was.
We sat out on her deck enjoying a nice autumn evening before she asked if we could go inside and watch a movie. I grabbed the bottle of wine we'd brought with us and followed her in. The movie hadn't been playing for very long when I fell asleep.
"Come on, handsome. Let's get you to bed," she said softly.
"Bella … God, I'm sorry," I apologized.
"It's fine, Edward. Will you stay?"
"Do you want me to stay?" I asked.
"Yes," she whispered.
The next morning, I woke up with Bella in my arms and it was the most incredible feeling. We hadn't done anything more than kiss and snuggle, I still wasn't ready to offer her more than that and she seemed perfectly okay with it.
Bella's birthday fell on the second Saturday in September. Her mom, Renee called and invited me over for dinner that evening. I'd spent the night before over at Bella's after Em and Rose and I had taken her out for dinner and drinks. We were a little hung over the morning of her birthday, and we spent a lazy morning in bed, kissing and tickling each other. Our tickles turned into touches and touches turned into caresses.
"Edward …" Bella breathed.
I smiled at the huskiness of her voice and lifted her thin tank top just enough to place a soft kiss above her belly button before tugging her shirt back down.
She ran her fingers through my hair, gently scratching my scalp before cupping my face and bending down to kiss me on the lips.
"I want you, Edward," she whispered.
"I want you too, Bella. I just need a little more time. I'm trying, I promise."
"I know you are, Edward. I'm not pushing you; I just wanted you to know."
I also needed to know if she really wanted me and just not a replacement for Jake. I'd gotten to know her pretty well over the last couple months, but there were a few things that I just needed reassurance on.
Bella's birthday dinner with her parents was actually a lot of fun. I got along great with her mom and dad. Charlie of course was a retired cop just like my dad, and he was a fountain of information and stories. Bella actually had to come in and drag me away at one point just so we could go home. I thanked her parents profusely for having me and they told me I was welcome any time. Charlie told me if I needed help with my detective stuff to give him a call.
"They love you," Bella giggled.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Couldn't you tell? Charlie didn't threaten you once."
"That could have been luck on my part," I chuckled.
"Not hardly, Cullen."
The weeks after that got a bit trickier. It was like it was when Chloe was there. I'd only get to talk to Bella in the evenings before I fell into bed, and we'd only get to see each other on weekends.
By Halloween, we'd been dating for almost three months. Things with Bella had gotten a little heavier in the bedroom, but I still hadn't made love to her yet. I wanted to, and I know she was well past want, but I just found myself hesitating.
She asked me if I'd come over and keep her company while she was handing out candy. It was a Friday night and a pretty bad storm was predicted to hit Seattle. She told me she didn't like to be alone on Halloween and explained that usually she hung out with Rose, but since Rose was with Katie and Emmett was out on patrol, she was flying solo.
"Bella, it's okay," I reassured her.
I sat on her couch flipping through the channels and drinking a beer as she gave out candy. When all the candy was gone, she came and curled up beside me. We'd just settled in with a movie when a large clap of thunder hit and the apartment went dark.
"Shit!" Bella gasped as she reached over and grasped onto my shirt.
"I'm right here, Bella," I said wrapping my arms around her.
"I know, but that doesn't mean that didn't scare me. It's fucking dark in here."
"Do you have some candles or something?" I asked.
"Mmmhmm … there's one lit on the kitchen table. Let's go get it and take it into the bedroom. I don't think the electricity will be back on any time soon."
I held Bella's hand tightly as we made our way through the dark apartment - the only light coming from the candle on the table. I let go of Bella's hand and she picked the candle up.
"I'll follow you, beautiful."
Bella's face was beautiful in the candlelight. The glow of the flame reflected in her deep brown eyes. A loud rumble of thunder shook the apartment again, and Bella quickly put down the candle and flew into my arms. I could feel the goose bumps on her skin through the thin fabric of her shirt.
"Bella?"
"I hate storms. They scare the shit out of me."
"Hey," I said softly. "I'm here, Bella and I'm not going anywhere."
She shivered in my arms and I tightened my grip on her small frame.
"Let's crawl into bed, shall we? It's going to get cold in here without the heater on."
Bella nodded against my chest and I walked us over to the bed, settling in and pulling the covers up as far as they'd go. She snuggled in close beside me, her head on my chest and her arm resting across my stomach.
"I'm really glad that you're here," she whispered.
"Where else would I be?" I asked softly as I reached down to kiss her head.
Bella looked up at me in the darkness and brushed her warm lips across mine. My tongue darted out as if of its own volition against her lower lip, she immediately met my tongue with hers, tangling them together. Her hand grasped my shirt at my waist as I slid my hand up the back of her shirt, resting my hand at the small of her back but holding her firmly to me. My other hand slid up her arm to the warm skin of her neck, cupping her face as I kissed her.
"Edward …" she whimpered. "Touch me … please?"
I ghosted my hand down her chest, reaching under her shirt. Our kisses became more forceful and our touches became a little more desperate as she gave up holding back and began to touch me back. Hands and lips were everywhere as we removed each other's clothes, tossing them onto the floor. The feeling of her soft, silky skin against mine made me feel greedy; needing more. Bella whimpered with her own need and I slowly sheathed myself in her warmth; the feeling of home surrounding me.
"I love you, Bella," I breathed against her heated skin.
"Oh, God, Edward. I love you, too. So much."
The next morning, I woke up with Bella warm in my arms. Her hair splayed across the pillow and her arm across my chest. I hadn't felt that happy or content in a very long time. I snuggled into her as I thought about how much Bella had really come to mean to me, and I knew she meant a lot to Chloe. I had just drifted back to sleep when a shrill ringing came from the bedside table. I hated to answer and wake Bella, but it was Chloe and I couldn't ignore her when she called.
A/N: A couple of you were spot on about Bella's scars! Again, I apologize for the mishap, BUT … Chapter 9 is good to go as are the rest. No more missing pieces.
Review for me – I can't wait to see what y'all think!