Chapter 4: Shenanigans
AN: A shorter chapter this time. I initially planned on putting the whole "Players and Pieces" episode into this chapter while ignoring the morning, but it wound up being too long for one chapter while being too short for two. So you get to have more Bob shenanigans and Schnee's revenge.
(Perspective: K)
Kassidy woke up to the sound of snoring. So much snoring. I guess that's a perk of never having to deal with anyone. Not having to listen to this. Grabbing Bob, she regarded the time and found it to be 3:30. Hmm, I bunked down for the night shortly after ten. Must've been the whole skipping sleep that first day that made me sleep in.
She regarded the room around her. Of course everyone else is still sleeping. No sane person would be up at this hour. Kass gathered her belongings as quietly as possible – even since before she had lost everything, she knew that trying to sleep after already being up was an exercise in futility. Sneaking out the main door, she found a grassy part of the path to set Bob up.
"Have any luck figuring out the connectivity issues?" Kassidy needed to stretch first, but learning more about where she was needed to be a top priority. Even ignoring the rumors of brutal methods of initiation, or the hushed whispers of something commonly regarded as being grim, she had seen enough weird stuff already that knowing about it would improve her chances of survival immensely.
"Unfortunately, no. There's minor fluctuations that are scrambling my algorithms every time I try to gain entry. I've tried everything I can think of, but software solutions aren't working. Judging from how the systems are responding, I'm beginning to think it might be a hardware issue."
Kassidy gasped. Despite computers supposedly being unfeeling engines of logic and mathematics, Bob had a profound sense of pride regarding his capabilities. This was a computer that could hack the FBI in a tenth of a second. For him to outright admit he couldn't do it signaled that this was a serious problem.
"Having computer troubles?"
Ozpin's voice startled her enough to fall face first into the ground from her stretching. Picking herself up and dusting herself off, Kassidy grabbed her arm out of embarrassment. "Uh, no. I mean, yeah. I mean… nothing I can't handle."
The headmaster chuckled. "I can believe that. Your companion is certainly a testament to your prowess with software. I see you're having trouble sleeping."
Having finally composed herself, Kassidy faced him. The moon was bright tonight, and finding the shape of a person wasn't too hard. "I managed to sleep extra, actually. These days I'm lucky if I get four hours of sleep in. So what business pulled you out this early? If you don't me asking, of course."
"I had some matters to take care of. Initiation can be one of the more interesting times of the year, and it's important that everything goes off without a hitch. I was actually just passing through on my way to a meeting, and now seems to be the perfect opportunity for this." Ozpin dug around in his pocket and pulled out a grayish card; it will still too dark to make it out exactly. "I had almost forgotten about this. This device is called a scroll. While less impressive than your friend, it performs similar functions. In addition, it serves as your identification and is quite necessary to get quite a few things to work. Considering your circumstances, it seemed prudent to provide you with one of the tools you will need."
"Uh oh Bob, sounds like you have competition." Kassidy smirked and took the device from Ozpin's outstretched arm. "But in all seriousness, thank you. Getting back to sleep at this point would be impossible, so I was hoping to do some research. I'm hearing some disturbing rumors about the local wildlife."
"I can assure you they are probably true." Ozpin's voice changed from cordial to deadly serious. "From your reaction I can gather you haven't dealt with anything like this where you come from, so let me help you with your initial findings: the creatures of Grimm are beings of darkness. They are the closest to the physical manifestation of evil we have, and probably that you have as well."
"Really? I thought those were politicians."
"Shut up, Bob. I'm sorry, Professor, Bob's been kind of mouthy lately."
"That's quite alright. But keep this in mind: you will doubtlessly encounter Grimm during your initiation, and they are incredibly dangerous. They are one of the few cases where it is usually best to shoot first and ask questions later. They differentiate themselves from other animals through black fur, and white bone masks with designs of red."
"Alright, so if it's black, white, and red, shoot it. Understood. Thank you." Getting up from stretches, Kassidy collected her things. "I won't presume to keep you from your business any further. God knows the last thing I need is to be accidentally tossed from a cliff."
After several hours of configuring her newfangled holographic cell phone thing, Kassidy found herself in a locker room with several other prospective students. To her right stood Ruby and Yang talking and getting gear together. To her left, Weiss was doing her best to completely ignore Kass. It took a few tries of opening the door before she realized she needed the scroll to unlock it.
"I hate it already."
"That isn't jealousy I hear, is it?"
"Of course not! And I'm definitely not lying. I'm a computer. Computers never lie."
"Right." Kassidy chuckled to herself as she prepared her gear. After pulling on her bulletproof vest, she was wrestling with her belt when some red headed girl walked over. Weiss was immediately preening over her. If the rich kid is infatuated with her, then that's a persona with some serious clout. I better be careful. Glynda said this mission would only take the span of an afternoon, so Kassidy shoved her bag in the locker, taking out another nutrient bar before locking it and putting the scroll in her pocket.
"You are aware that they were serving pancakes this morning for breakfast, right? You don't need to eat a food bar." The redhead had just finished strapping on an impressive amount of armor that more impressively managed to hide exactly nothing. What was the point of that armor? There's exactly no protection at the areas that matter.
"I am keenly aware of that. To the point where I refused to go in that building."
"How come?"
"Probably because her demented computer would make snide remarks while she ate." Weiss is obviously still pissed from yesterday.
"Look, Weiss. Bob has a very primitive sense of humor. I'm still working on that part of him. What he said was uncalled for, and I'm sorry for that."
"Hmph. I'm sure you are. That's why you started laughing once you thought you were out of earshot." Arms folded, Weiss turned from facing away from Kassidy. "I bet you think you're so smart, don't you? Knowing big chemistry words, knowing how to program that black hunk of junk you call a computer."
"Uhh… yeah? Being smart is kind of my whole deal. So what's your deal? Or are you seriously such a stuck up snob that you can't accept an apology?"
"I am not a stuck up snob!"
"You just threw your arms down and stomped your foot. I might be a computer, but even I can tell that's the literal definition of throwing a temper tantrum. Told you it was that time, Kass."
"SHUT UP, BOB!" Both Weiss and Kass yelled at her computer at the same time.
"Okay, I think we all got off to a bad start with… whatever happened yesterday." The red headed girl stepped in between the two of them with arms raised. "Kassidy, I believe I heard? Your companion does seem a bit on the crude side. And Weiss, she did apologize. Why don't we shake hands and try to start again?"
"I don't have time for this." Weiss snatched up a rapier and stormed off. "I need to warm up for my initiation."
Kassidy slumped down on the bench. "Bob, you are just determined to sabotage my attempts at not being a scumbag, aren't you?"
"I'm sure you'll do fine." The red head offered a hand back up. "You tried, at least. I'm Pyrrha Nikos, by the way. And how come you were avoiding breakfast?"
Taking the hand, Kassidy heard her stomach growl. "Because it has been forever since I've had pancakes. I guarantee that if I went in now and had any, I would be collapsed thirty seconds into initiation from having eaten five thousand calories." Slinging her rifle over her shoulder, she added, "I think Weiss might've had the right idea though. I should go warm up."
"Alright, that's a bit too close! A little help here?"
Looking over, Pyrrha and Kassidy saw Weiss backed into a corner by some kid in jeans and a poorly fitted set of armor. Exchanging glances, Kass stepped forward, put a hand on the guy's shoulder, and did nothing to hide the edge in her voice. "Mind letting her out of the corner?"
"Oh, uh, yeah, of course!" The kid instantly shrank away from the three girls, and Weiss quickly backed out.
"Look, it's not a problem man. Just give a girl her space; nobody likes a stalker. You have a name, kid?"
"The name's Jaune Arc. And who might you be, again?"
"I'm Pyrrha Nikos, actually!" The redhead immediately stepped front and center. "My friend here is Kassidy, and it appears you've already met Weiss."
"Met me? He practically tried to fondle me!"
Kassidy sighed and walked away from the argument that was almost guaranteed to spring up there. Could this day get any worse?
"I suddenly regret our decision to change planets. I knew that Ozpin guy was full of shit." Finding herself dangling from a tree branch, Kassidy has so far managed to not die with a horrible splat after being quite intentionally tossed from a cliff. While she had climbed down as far as she could, Kass could still see a twenty five foot drop between her and the ground, with no more branches in between.
"There's obviously a method to his madness. Otherwise his school wouldn't still be in business." Bob was sitting strapped to a harness in the back of her bulletproof vest.
"I'll start worrying about the method once I know that I'll make it out of the madness alive." Kassidy would've continued, but a series of what sounded like a cross between shotgun blasts and flares barked up from under her. Looking down, she just caught a black and white creature getting thrown back. Shortly after, a second one took a step forward and reared back, standing ten feet tall. Directly under me. This is going to be a hell of a long shot, but fifteen feet is better than twenty five. Taking a deep breath, Kassidy dropped.
"What, you want some too!?"
A familiar voice shouted as Kass fell. In theory, this should've been easy, use the beast's head as a springboard to break her momentum and make the fall survivable with zero injuries. It might have even worked, too, if Kassidy was any good at acrobatics. Alas, it wasn't to be, and her ankle rolled out from under her. Rather than jumping off a safe distance away, she unceremoniously crumpled right in front of what could only be described as a sort of demon bear, which was very not happy that something just landed on top of its head. Letting instinct take over, Kass rolled to the side and emptied the pistol's magazine into its chest.
"I could've taken him." Looking over her shoulder, Kass caught sight of Yang, now dressed in a jacket that only reached to her waist and a half skirt that failed at hiding a pair of the shortest shorts she ever saw.
"Oh, hey. It's Yang, right?" Forcing herself into a sitting position, Kassidy looked down and tried to find the source of her new pain.
"Yeah. Kassidy, I think? Holy crap, what happened to your foot?" In a flash, the blonde was over at her side, trying to make heads or tails of the foot which couldn't have been at a more unnatural angle if Kassidy had tried.
"It seems to be dislocated." The robotic voice rang clear and true from Kass' back.
"No dip, Sherlock. Oh boy, this is gonna hurt." Bracing herself, Kassidy reached down to her foot, took a few breaths, and pulled. She shuddered at the wave of agony jolting up her leg, but it died down quickly to a dull ache. She rolled her foot around to make sure it was usable again.
"I'm pretty sure that's not how one treats a dislocated foot. And I'm also pretty sure I know the most about physiology and medicine between the two of us."
Kassidy sighed. Bob always was protective, and that included teaching her how to take care of any and all injuries that came up. She was about to shake it off before a gauntleted hand reached out.
"Maybe so, but it sure pulled through in a snap." Pulling the darker blonde off the ground, Yang was obviously quite pleased with herself. Kassidy smirked.
"Wait, you were the girl making puns last night, weren't you? And you're the first…" The gears were metaphorically spinning as Bob quickly put the pieces together, and he didn't like them. "The fates conspire to mock me. Or maybe it's just Kassidy. And to think of all the things I do for you."
Kass snorted. "Ah, a few puns won't kill you, Bob. Why-"
Snarling to her right brought Kassidy out of the conversation. After quickly realizing that yes, that trio of wolves was indeed bipedal and yes, they were about to attack, Kassidy grabbed her rifle. One and a half seconds and three shots later, the wolves crumpled to the ground and… started dissolving?
"Any idea where we're going?" Yang's question brought Kassidy back to the present.
"Yeah, I thought I saw some ruins over to the north through Kassidy's iris cam. Think that's where Ozpin wants us to go?"
"I'll start caring more about what Ozpin wants once he stops throwing me off cliffs." Kassidy huffed and tested her ankle. "Ready to go?"
"What's this iris cam thing?" Yang seemed puzzled.
"It's basically a contact lens that has a video camera in it. My dad's invention, actually."
"Oh, that seems neat. Alright! Follow me, my new partner!"