Volume 2 Chapter 12: I'm So Meta, Even This Acronym

AN: Title pun, yay! Gotta admit, that's one of my favorite one-liners, right there.

Guarantee of no Monday chapter, considering I have an exam that day. Yay summer classes. Next chapter Friday, if I have anything to say about it (which seems to become more and more of an oddity these days).

Tonight, RWKY have to deal with the aftermath of the robot fight. Plus, it's kinda been a while since we've seen JNPR and I feel guilty for not giving Ren the screentime he needs.

(Perspective: Kassidy)

Kassidy leaned back and sighed, content with the dinner she'd made and just finished off. However, something caused her to frown immediately afterwards. Something seemed off, something subtle. She didn't know what, but she knew that she needed to find out. Her instincts hadn't let her down yet, after all, and now they were definitely informing her of an error in the environment. It just remained to identify it.

"Now that's what I call a meal, K!" Yang called, shoving her plate in and scooting her chair out. Ruby and Weiss got the time to express similar sentiments before Yang followed up with, "Where did you learn to cook like that?"

Kassidy thoughtlessly replied, "Home," before glancing over to her girlfriend to see how she had fared through the meal. At Kassidy's insistence, Yang had received nearly twice as much food as anyone else at the table, but… ah, there's the problem. I thought something was wrong. "I noticed you only had the one glass of milk, partner," Kassidy chided, making Yang stop halfway through telling Ruby a joke. "I take it you already finished what I tasked you to drink?"

"Uh, yeah, totally."

"Is that so?" Kassidy stood up and walked across the common area that RWKY shared with JNPR. Even though Kassidy was still pretty bad at lying herself, she knew how to tell if someone else was lying. She didn't even need the brief, panicked way Yang's eyes widened, or the slight hesitation in her answer, to know what had happened. She paused upon reaching the fridge, before calling over her shoulder, "So, if I were to open this door right here, I wouldn't find –"

"Ugh, okay, no I didn't finish!" Yang huffed and pouted, before disputing, "Who the Dust even drinks two gallons of milk in a day?"

"I do, whenever I need to repair skeletal damage," Kassidy reminded. "And now, so do you." Ignoring Yang's theatric, almost comical wailing, she drug another glass out of the nearby cabinet and poured out what was probably going to be the first of four servings this evening.

"Please, no more," Yang pleaded. "You already had me eat so much, and that's not even counting what I've already drunk. I can't take any more."

"You can, and you will." If there was to be any mercy, it would not come from Kassidy. She set the glass down with an intimidating clunk, then allowed a sigh to escape her. Reciting from experience, Kassidy explained, "Dinner is the most important meal in any recovery process. It's usually the largest meal of the day by far, and it occurs immediately before the time your body naturally shuts down to repair damage. Even with Aura, your body still needs the raw materials necessary to perform those repairs."

Yang still looked unconvinced by the argument. Kassidy wracked her brain for ideas on how to convert her partner to the idea, before the perfect solution suddenly came to her. Leaning in with a toothy grin, Kassidy asked, "Do I need to have Bob explain to you how this stuff works again?"

"No!" Yang's face paled instantly, and oddly enough she started glancing from side to side, almost as if she expected a floating tablet computer to sneak up on her. "Please, no. I got it the first time, honest! Even if he did go super in-depth using words that I'm sure weren't even Common!"

"Then drink up," Kassidy commanded.

Yang groaned, then held her stomach. "I don't think I can…"

"Fine," Kassidy sighed. "Let me find a funnel."

"I'm serious, K," Yang insisted. "Three pounds of meatloaf. Two and a half pounds of mashed potatoes. And… so much salad. It was amazingly delicious, and amazingly painful to eat it all. Why do you –"

"WHAT?!" a new voice cried out, making Kassidy and Yang halt their argument, and making Ruby and Weiss halt their increasingly amused observance of their byplay. "You made FOOD and didn't invite US?!"

Kassidy snickered, shook her head, and turned around. "We didn't have enough to host another eating competition between us, Nora." Finding the rest of their sister team, she greeted, "How are you guys doing?"

"Just got done eating food that obviously wasn't as good as what you guys had," Jaune answered. His eyes narrowed and his lips formed a frown when his gaze fell upon Yang, and his confusion was merely confirmed when he asked, "What's up with Yang?"

"Oh thank Oum you guys are here!" Yang wailed. "Please, you've got to help me! Someone kidnapped K and replaced her with some sort of care-taking demon! She won't let me run, she won't let me work out; for Dust's sake, she won't even let me take a walk around campus! And the food…" Yang shuddered at the thought. "So tasty… but there was so much of it. I never thought I'd ask K to stop cooking."

Kassidy pinched the bridge of her nose. "Yang, we literally just went over this. Your body needs nutrients to repair itself. Protein to reinforce your overstressed muscle fibers. Calcium to repair your skeleton. Carbs for the energy your metabolism needs to get the ball rolling."

"Wait, did Yang get hurt?" Pyrrha asked.

Nora jumped in place as a thought came to her. "Ooh! Was this that big fight you guys had last night?! Why haven't you told us that story yet? Oh, wait, did you record it, Kassidy?!"

"Nora," Ren groaned. After setting his partner to some semblance of ease, he added, "Let's do one thing at a time. What happened to Yang?"

"Nothing serious," Yang insisted.

"Ignore her," Kassidy denied. Ignoring the indignant squawk that her girlfriend made, she began to explain, "When she woke up this morning, she was complaining about her arms hurting. I had Bob take a look at her, and he found several dozen microfractures in her skeletal system, mostly in her hands and arms. With Narud out for the weekend, I decided to take it upon myself to see to her care."

"And she's been a nightmare ever since," Yang lamented. "Seriously, she won't let me do anything."

"That's because you shouldn't be doing anything," Kassidy fired back. "If those microfractures get much worse, then your arms might as well be broken in about twenty different places. Even if your main method of fighting didn't revolve around punching the everliving crap out of everything, that's some serious bad news."

"Ouch," Pyrrha winced. She paused for a bit, as if trying to think of what to say, before coming up with, "Well, at least you shouldn't need to be still for very long?"

"But you need to stay still long enough to watch movies!" Nora announced. All but vibrating in place, wide turquoise eyes gleamed at Kassidy before their owner asked, "You record everything you see, right? Can we see your fight? Can we? CAN WE?"

Kassidy chuckled, "Easy, Nora, easy. Yeah, I recorded it. Bob, care to set them up?"

"Yeah, we want in on this too!"

Kassidy nearly jumped out of her skin again, before groaning and facepalming. Seriously, is Sun yelling something while standing behind me going to be a regular thing? This cannot be good for my blood pressure. By the time her head came back up, Neptune had returned to Weiss' side, as seemed par for the course these days, while Sage and Scarlet brought up chairs to the increasingly large gathering around the common room table.

"Hey," Sun said softly, taking care not to disturb the imminent replay of the robot fight. "Sorry for not being there to help you guys take on Torchwick."

Kassidy shook her head. "From what I remember seeing, not much of a way for you two to get to us after he up and chucked you off the interstate."

Sun's eyebrows raised and he tilted his head, before asking, "The what?"

"The freeway," Kassidy explained, rolling her eyes. "Was called the interstate back home. You guys come out of that alright?"

"Better than you guys," Sun snorted. "Seriously, how did you guys convince that Goodwitch woman to not give you, like, several months' worth of detentions?"

"Umm…"

"… and what you girls did was so unfathomably irresponsible that I can hardly think of how to properly vocalize my sheer amazement that you even thought it was a remotely good idea," Glynda said. Huffing and standing straighter, her fearsome glare turned upon the three girls sitting before her (Yang having already been excused, which she was currently using to sleep her exhaustion away). "But," she continued, "I know very well that people have reasons for what they do, so I suppose it is only fair that I give you a chance to explain yours. Think carefully on your next words, for they may very well decide a great many things regarding your continued stay at Beacon."

Ruby and Weiss both gaped at her, mouths opening and closing like a fish's would but ultimately unable to form a proper response. Kassidy, however, had no such problems, as she smoothly answered, "We did it because Ozpin told us to."

The twitch that Glynda's left eye gave was positively legendary, the near-spasms threatening to spread to the rest of her face before she closed her eyes, breathed deeply, and seemed to count to ten. The glare that opened to greet Kassidy could've melted steel beams with ease, and might in fact had been the actual culprit behind 9/11. "Tell me, Miss Smith," she said curtly, "why I should even entertain that notion."

"Because," Kassidy answered, counting off her fingers, "Ozpin was the one to clue me in to the fact that there would be a White Fang rally to infiltrate in the first place. Ozpin was the one who knew the when, where, and how as to how to get into said rally, before he conveniently lost that information. I then happened to conveniently find that very same information mere moments after my conversation with him had concluded. And it was Ozpin himself who said something along the lines of wishing to know what went on in one of those rallies, but lamented that he didn't have a talented young woman to infiltrate it in his stead."

It was Glynda's turn to gape at her in disbelief, Ruby and Weiss already having had their fill of the experience. Eventually, their teacher asked, "And if I were to ask Ozpin about this –"

"I might not know him as well as you," Kassidy interrupted, earning a mighty scowl in the process, "but I think we both know that he'd never give any sort of meaningful answer if you were to ask him."

Straining her ears, Kassidy could just barely make out Glynda cursing, "Of course he wouldn't, damn him." Pinching the bridge of her nose, she harshly bit out, "Don't think for an instant that this is a clean bill of health for the four of you. But as for now… consider yourselves dismissed. There are apparently… some discussions I need to have with the Headmaster about this issue."

"Actually, now that I think about it," Kassidy decided, "the less said about that, the better."

"Uh," Sun made out, evidently trying to piece together exactly how he felt about the issue, "why do I get the feeling that's going to be a far better excuse than most of us would like it to be?"

"Because it is," Kassidy freely admitted.

Sun was about to say something, but they both winced as Nora leapt up and yelled incoherently when Ruby's railgun shot tore off the Paladin's arm. When the others had finally calmed her down, Sun managed to ask, "Seriously, though, how did you guys pull through? I thought I heard something about Yang getting hurt?"

"Her arms got messed up a bit," Kassidy replied, nodding. "It's not a big deal now, but it could be a really big deal if it's not taken care of."

"She doesn't exactly seem pleased about it – what you've been putting her through, I mean," Sun noticed.

"She isn't," Kassidy agreed. "She isn't the kind of girl to sit around and do nothing, letting the day waste away while she takes it easy. I mean, sure, she'll do it once in a blue moon, but being forced to?" Shaking her head, she added with a chuckle, "I also maybe kinda sorta forgot that I do this whole healing thing faster and easier than everyone else, even after you throw Aura into the picture. Even with only a couple minute's hindsight… yeah, maybe making her eat five pounds of food – on top of two gallons of milk and what I'd been able to make her eat earlier – might not have been the smartest thing ever."

"That poor, poor girl," Sun muttered, shaking his head. "Are you sure you're her girlfriend? That much sounds closer to torture than a recovery plan."

Kassidy defended, "Hey, it's scientifically sound. Backed by about a dozen years of data using the best test subject of all: me!" They chuckled for a bit, then fell silent as they watched ten of their classmates watch Yang finish the whole deal off.

"She seems to be taking it like a champ, though," Sun interjected.

Kassidy groaned, however, piquing Sun's curiosity. Her exasperation was explained when she said, "Thank Oum Yang didn't hear you say that. She could make so many jokes out of that, I'm sure."

Sun paled slightly. "Yeah, you're right. Thank Oum she didn't hear me say that, indeed."

"Hear you say what?" a third voice interjected. Jaune turned around to the two of them in his seat, the group of students evidently having finished watching the recording. "By the way, let me be the first to say great job in that fight. You guys did really well; Dust, I don't have the slightest idea how we would've handled it."

"You guys were AMAZING!" Nora blurted out. "I didn't even know Ruby's gun was that big! Oh, and did you see Yang? She was all grr and pow and rargh and BOOM!"

Ren finally got his partner under control with a, "Nora!" With his partner properly chastised, he congratulated, "You handled yourselves well out there, as my teammates have already mentioned; you should be proud of yourselves."

"Hey, I'll be proud of myself if I can just convince K to wear more skirts," Yang said lecherously, adding in a purr for good measure. "I'd be more than willing to fight more of those things if I can get the view to go with it."

The reactions were exactly as predictable as one might expect. Nora wolf whistled. Weiss, Ren, Sage, Sun, and Neptune all gaped at first Yang, then Kassidy. Ruby and Jaune blushed. Pyrrha and Scarlet did both of the above. And Kassidy?

"God fucking damnit," she muttered. "This is why I never fucking wear skirts." Hiding her face in her hands for a moment to clear her thoughts, she counted to ten and turned her now molten gaze on her girlfriend. "Let me get this straight: you thought it was a good idea to sneak a peek while we were in a life or death struggle with a thirty seven ton walking tank?"

"Can you really blame her?" a new voice asked. Jumping and turning around, a newcomer that Kassidy didn't recognize led Velvet into the room. Kassidy's first impression was 'rich kid', as the pants, shirt, boots, beret, gloves, and sunglasses were all obviously of a kind of make that came with throwing a few extra zeroes at the end of a price tag. Speaking of which, why the hell is she wearing sunglasses indoors? Kassidy's appraisal of their newest arrival was interrupted when the girl quickly added on, "You do have a nice ass, after all. Even nicer than Fox's… though, don't tell him I said that." As if to illustrate her point, the girl leaned over and gave Kassidy's behind a quick swat, an action that caused her to yelp and freeze in shock.

A couple chairs were knocked over, a testament to the support Kassidy's friends gave to her, and each other, as every member of RWKY and JNPR – and most of SSSN, for that matter – leapt to their feet. Most of them looked at least uneasy at the action, gazes flickering between their respective team leaders. It was Yang, however, that stepped forward and set the tone. "Look," she started, "Coco, was it? I'm sure you're nice and all… but I'm gonna have to ask that you don't do that again."

"Alright, fine, fine. I was just teasing," Coco conceded. Placing a hand on Kassidy's shoulder, she ensured, "You're fine, right? Didn't mean anything by it."

"She really didn't," Velvet said from the side of the room. "She just tends to get… erm, physical, I guess, with the people she takes a liking to?"

Finally, Kassidy managed to press the reset button and return to the here and now. Shaking her head, she replied, "Yeah, sure, we're cool. Just… yeah, don't do that again, please."

"Sure thing, champ," Coco drawled. Sauntering over to where everyone was now slowly taking a seat, she murmured, "Hmm, freshmen that know their way around a decent wardrobe as well as they do a fight? Might be what I'm looking for."

"Is there something you need us for, Miss Adel?" Weiss asked. From the way her back straightened, to the emphasis placed on her words, it was apparent to Kassidy that Weiss had gone to what Ruby affectionately labeled 'PR mode'.

"As a matter of fact, Miss Schnee, there is," Coco answered just as smoothly. Kassidy was struck by a complete and utter lack of surprise that someone who could throw money at the kind of outfit Coco was wearing would also be versed in talking like a fancy person. "As I'm sure you're no doubt aware of, the Vytal Festival Dance will be in a couple weeks' time."

"Ooh, that's right, the dance!" Yang commented. "Crap, I still need to get a dress for that."

"I might be able to dump something on you to make your job a bit easier in that department," Coco replied. "Velvs and I have been planning the thing out for the past few weeks. Unfortunately, we have our mission coming up next week, and I don't think we'll be able to finish everything in time. What do you say, Weiss, and was it Yang? Do you think we can trust you two freshies to finish the job?"

Weiss and Yang only had to trade one glance, before Yang cockily answered, "Uh, yeah. Don't worry, Coco, we got this."

"Xiao Long, would it kill you to have some small morsel of decorum?" Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose before smoothing out the nonexistent creases in her skirt, before also answering, "We would be happy to assume this burden. Fear not, Miss Adel, this year's dance will be one to remember."

"Glad to hear it," Coco answered. "We'll probably swing over some time tomorrow to go over what we've already managed to get set up. Anything you want to add, Velvs?"

Velvet thought for a moment, before replying, "Um, no, I think I'm good."

"Alright, we'll get out of your hair then. See you freshies tomorrow."

With that promise, Coco and Velvet left the common room RWKY, JNPR, and SSSN were sharing. It took approximately three seconds for most of the room to descend into frenzied conversation. Blinking a bit, Kassidy leaned a bit towards Sun and asked, "So, uh, what exactly happened again?"

"I think Weiss and Yang just volunteered to plan an event that'll force us to dress in stiff, scratchy, and all around unbearable clothes for a night," Sun answered.

Kassidy shuddered a bit, before shooting right back, "Sounds terrible. I'd probably skip it… but I think we both know Yang's gonna drag me into it, and I won't be able to do a damn thing to stop her."

"I think Neptune's gonna do the same with me," Sun agreed.

"Wow," Kassidy contemplated, "Putting up with me today, then Yang's going to have her hands full with planning a dance, on top of a hastily increasing workload in our classes… she's going to be busy."

"Ain't that the truth? Glad I'm not doing that."

"She's going to need a break," Kassidy mused, thinking aloud. "Plus I kinda need to make up for being a bit of a nightmare today. Maybe I should take her out somewhere next weekend?"

"I heard the Achieve Men are going to be having a concert next Saturday," Sun offered. "Not half-bad for a boy band."

"Yang's pretty crazy about them," Kassidy muttered. "No idea why, though. More of a Jeff and Casey Williams fan myself."

"That father-daughter duo?" Sun asked. When Kassidy confirmed it, he said, "Nice, I've been liking what they put out, myself."

"Still, that concert's going to make Yang's… month, probably. Thanks for the idea."

"Not a problem. Just do me a favor and don't take me with you." When Kassidy raised an eyebrow at Sun's statement, he asked, "Seriously, when was the last time I've been anywhere near you in the city, and some form of drama hasn't come up?"

"I think you flirting with me whenever you didn't realize I was dating Yang was literally the least interesting time we've all had out there," Kassidy agreed. "Alright, won't ask you along then. Wasn't planning to anyways… but hey."

Yang picked this time to yell at them, "Yo, K, does Bob have anything for us to watch? I think we're all agreeing to hang out together for the evening."

Ignoring Weiss' stern remarks about how she most certainly did not agree to that, Kassidy rubbed her chin in thought. "That depends. What do you have for us, my man?"

"Hmm, let me see," the AI responded. "I've found something about an animation company called Rooster Teeth. Seems to be pretty well received from what I can find in the archives… oh, drat."

"What's up?"

"All the data's been corrupted. Not sure how, really, but still… a shame, that. Let me see if I can't line up something else for us."

"Go ahead and do that," Kassidy ordered. "Eh, it's just entertainment. Not like there would be anything important there, anyway."

"So, where we all setting up to watch this?" Jaune asked.

While the room descended into chaos once again, with Sun this time joining in the proceedings, Kassidy watched Yang sidle up to her. "Hey, K, please tell me I'm done for the night."

Kassidy tried to think of what she meant, before remembering her recovering outline. Nodding her head with a smile, she confirmed, "I think we can get away with that for the night, Firecracker." Yang leaned into her and mumbled something into her shoulder that sounded vaguely like a thank-you. Kassidy reached an arm around Yang's shoulders, dipped her head down a bit to get a sniff of the rich peach scent that followed Yang around (and was rapidly becoming Kassidy's new favorite smell), and explained, "I just wanted to make sure you're taken care of, is all. You took some really damn big hits, there, and I was worried."

Yang leaned into her further, and mumbled, "Why do you have to be such a worry-wart? I really appreciate it, K, but I'm fine, honest." For all the words, though, Yang's tone definitely leaned closer towards 'amused and grateful' than it did 'annoyed'.

"Better I'm the worry-wart than Weiss," Kassidy reasoned. She could feel Yang chuckle into her side, and then she decided to follow up with, "I know today's been a bit of a bummer for you. How about I make it up next weekend? I hear that band you like is having a concert."

"The Achieve Men?" Kassidy nodded when Yang looked up, when then proceeded to smile even bigger than before. "You know me too well, partner."

"No," Kassidy argued. "You know me too well. But, I guess I can try and make up the difference like this."

AN 2: And so they went to the concert, had a wonderful night, and then made out in the park in the moonlight – alright, yeah, no, I'm sorry, I can't lead you guys on like that.

Coming up next: You've been warned.

EWR115: Glad to hear you enjoyed it. And sorry for not going into the full explanation of Super-Abrams vs. Paladin I promised, but this chapter wound up writing differently than I had originally planned. Still, it's basically the same as what I wrote last time.

AgentDraakis: If you still haven't watched Chibi… shame on you. As for horrible, lasting, and potentially life-altering injuries for our beloved OC during the Breach… I can neither confirm nor deny that.

Also, your request for Shipmaster Kassidy has been denied.

Tykene: Glad to hear you enjoyed it so much, here's to hoping I can continue to entertain.