A/n: I got this comment on the last chapter "ill be honest... this has really lost its momentum. im actually really lost here lol.". And I love it. My mind has moved on sometimes to other storylines and this gives me a good kick in the ass to make sure I am doing my best work. So thank you! Even though I've written this chapter by chapter, which I swore I would never do, I've had a plan the whole time. Though this wouldn't have been this long had I forced myself to wait till it was 100% done to post...nor would it have ever been published. Hopefully, these next few chapters help tie things up to how I've wanted them to evolve separately and together. ~TnE
Raven's hands finally met the comforter of her bed as Gar guided her through the room. Had she guessed she would have imagined her room much smaller. Or perhaps her footsteps just a tad longer. As soon as she was safely seated, he was gone checking and double checking the room. Unfortunately, he was generally quiet on his feet. The only thing that gave him away was a slight swish of fabric once in awhile. Raven's breath became louder to her the longer he was gone. She tried her best to focus on the rhythmic sound to calm herself but it soon lost its slow even tempo. Wrapping the infirmary blankets closer to her mostly naked body, she scooted a few inches back on the bed.
Before she could call out to him though, she caught a sense of his mood. Though his anxiety had begun decreasing as he carried her to the room, he was still stuck in a loop of turmoil. They were finally alone and the facade of the carefree jokester was no longer useful. So he was remaining quiet instead.
That bubble of dread approached the bed from her right and she smiled towards it, hoping to spread some sort of relief. His warm hand brushed across her cheek as he bent down to kiss the middle of her head.
"Sit down," she offered, her voice was low, barely above a whisper. He hesitated for a second, his determination to care for her almost winning out. But when the bed did move, it was a sudden thump of an entire body. The weight of the day literally brought him down. Reaching out to rub his back, Raven's fingertips ran into his stomach. He was facing her, laying on his side. His hand quickly found hers and she let him pull it up for a quick kiss.
"Are you alright?" She asked almost out of politeness. And just as she expected the room grew silent. They both knew she could really sense what was going on, but that wouldn't help anything. Then, with a deep breath, he started to talk. The tips of his fingers dancing over the palm of her hand he had laid on the bed.
"I'm not sure," he admitted, his voice even lower than hers was. "I don't know if I did the right thing."
"He would have found Marcus, I'm sure of it."
The fingers stilled. "Yeah, but I didn't kill him to protect Marcus. I did it out of anger." The hand slipped around hers again and squeezed it lightly. He sighed again, the end of it becoming muffled in the bed as he rolled towards her to his stomach. Releasing his hand, she followed the arm to his back and lightly ran her hand over it. She gave his words serious thought before she responded.
"I think you did the right thing."
Skin moved across her comforter and his voice was clear again when he spoke. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." It was either them or Kon and she was glad Gar had made that decision. Because she would have done the same.
"I don't know. I shouldn't lose control like that anymore." Fear flicker briefly. Touching her own stomach, Raven pictured what he was going through. She was more than used to it. But she also knew where they had come from, and how much they had improved.
"We all have those days, Gar." It was a failed attempt and he didn't respond. Pushing lightly on his back she softly laughed, "Hey, we're only human." This finally broke through to him, and he laughed lightly. His dread lifting just a bit.
"Besides, I would have done it if I had been strong enough." Shrugging she tried to pull off an air of indifference.
"Heh," his hand found hers again as he rolled back to his side. "That's true. It wasn't just me. You did most of it." His guilt dropped as he passed off part of the blame. Then it rebounded twice as high. "Sorry," he groaned, ashamed. "That was really bad."
"No," she quickly cut him off. Laughing, she attempted to get his guilt back down. "Hey, I gave him almost everything I had. So much so, that I was tricked by that dope of a man and blinded. I would like to think I did something to him. I mean, I deserve some sort of recognition." She held her chin in the air to make a point, hoping he could tell she was.
"Hah, alright fine," he groaned, laughing only slightly. But it had worked. Her lips couldn't help but form a smile of victory. Then a thought struck her and she let out a small snicker of disbelief.
"What?" he asked.
"I um," she shook her head, laughing again, "I think this is the most we've ever talked about your emotions."
"Yeah, well enough of that." He joked, sitting up. "Now it's your turn." His warm hands again met her skin. Tenderly he rubbed her cheeks before bringing his hands over the bandage. She gave his emotions another pass before accepting he was getting better.
"Can I take it off?"
"Yeah." He unwound the bandage and gently ran his hands over her face again. Before it had been dark because she was blind folded. Subconsciously she had known her eyes were shut. Now they were free to open and blink and things were still dark. The pit of her stomach dropped, it wasn't any easier to accept.
"How do they feel?" Gar asked. His voice closer than it had been.
"Fine," she coughed lightly.
"Oh, hold on. I'll get you some water." The bed bounced a little as he quickly stood up. He was back to focusing all his concern on her. But now they were calmer and happier. And he wasn't just focused on the pain of the situation but held some appreciation, relief, and hope. Water filled up a cup in the bathroom. She wasn't sure if she was willing to accept the hope of her sight returning. Though, her eyes were really feeling better. But he was probably on to something. They had plenty to be appreciative for. Things could be worse. Reaching out her arm, Raven's hand froze on the glass. She hadn't thought of being alone and blind. The whole time he had walked away and back, she had mentally followed him. And when he had come back to stand in front of her he had given that small tale-tell sign that he was looking at her. That brief flicker of admiration she hadn't even realized she picked up on till now.
Things could be a lot worse. She could really be alone.
The water was a welcome relief on her dry throat and she took her time drinking the whole glass. All the while, Gar happily sat next to her. Content with just being able to still be with her. She yawned several times as she drank her water.
"Can you help me get washed before bed?" She asked.
"Babe, any chance to be around your naked body..." The comment was so perfectly him that she wasn't sure if she groaned out of relief or real exasperation.
Gar helped her to the bathroom where he started drawing her bath. Feeling overly confident around him, she began undressing herself. Her elbow collided with the wall, causing Gar to let out a whispered oops.
"I gotcha, just step a little more this way. There you go," he said, sliding her underwear gingerly off. The water was hot to her bare cold feet and she sat on the edge for several seconds as they adjusted. Beside her, Gar kept an arm wrapped around her, keeping her from accidentally slipping in. All of his negative emotions had vanished and all that was left was compassion and love. Although she was sure it was there somewhere, he didn't hold much lust in the situation. It could have been the first time they were together with one of them naked and sex wasn't being discussed. Resting her head on his shoulder she pulled on the same sort of comfort and confidence that he had towards moving around a dark room.
"This is easier than I thought it would be," she said.
"Ha, you might think that. But you can't see all the bruises your forming. Or this nice lump you gave yourself." He brushed over her hair, drawing attention to the sore part of her head that had collided with the ceiling.
"No," she smiled, "being depended like this."
"Oh, you'll heal fast enough and be gallivanting off fighting crime in no time." He helped ease her down into the water, where she turned around to face him.
"Gar, that's not what I meant."
He gave a little chuckle, "I know."
"I was so caught up in not wanting what I thought was a typical relationship, I had thought I would ever have one at all. But I don't feel subordinate to you, or like I need to be anything different." He didn't say anything for awhile, just slipped down to sit on the floor so they could both rest their elbows on the side of the tub.
"You never should. No one should," he said. Dipping a cloth into the tub, he began running it over her.
"I know. But I think everyone gets a little jealous when their significant other looks at someone else. Or wants to know where they are. I didn't want that. I mean I still don't." The cloth ran over a bruise on the back of her arm and she jerked away.
"Sorry," he murmured. "We don't have to be deep-seated in jealousy to be a couple."
"I know," her eyes instinctively flicked to where she thought his face was, leaning in just a tad. His lips met hers without a word.
"Besides," he added, laughing, "if some hot guy does try to pick you up, you could always just bring him home... or chick, I'm flexible." Raven laughed and caught his neck before he could pull further away. She kissed him again, holding him for a second longer.
"Wanna join me?" She asked, pulling him back for another kiss. He grabbed her hand from his neck and stood.
"Only if you keep your hands to yourself, missy," he warned. She let out a pretend whine but he insisted. "No, you need to rest."
"Fine," she groaned, laughing as he was suddenly kissing her neck with feathery light pecks.
They stayed in the tub for awhile, Raven resting against Gar, their heads nestled against each other. It was easy to talk and their conversation flowed from one random topic to another, completely forgetting about their troubles.
"Being blind is also easier than I thought it would be," Raven said, raising her arm out of the tub and listening to the water drip back in.
"It was terrifying for me," Gar said, his chin bouncing against her shoulder as he spoke. "All I could think about was you living your worst nightmare and having to leave you with someone else."
Raven pulled her arm back to her check, "How did you know it was my worst fear?"
"You've freaked out before when you've been temporarily blinded."
"Oh," her arm moved back out to continue to play with the water. "I thought I had hidden it well." His hand moved along hers till his fingers wrapped around her wrist.
"Not from me," he murmured into her ear. "And besides, you told me, remember? I wasn't surprised that you don't like to be blindfolded in bed."
"I mean, I..." she paused and thought over her previous conviction. That had been a hard fast rule for her. She could never trust someone that much. A layer of goosebumps ran up her body as the very tips of Gar's fingers ran down the inside of her forearm. Adjusting herself, she sank further down and laid her head fully into his chin. Everything left her mind except the slight tickle as his fingers tracked up and down her arm.
"I mean I do get the appeal," she said with a smile, her eye lids growing heavy as her mind grew peacefully blank.