DISCLAIMER: I do not own any characters or plot; it all belongs to JK Rowling. Cover art does not belong to me.

'Italics'- read from the textbook

A Potions Incident

"Harry, wake up!" I heard someone whisper into my ear, presumably Hermione. She gently shook my shoulders; I guess she didn't really want to wake me up, the previous night was rough and was filled with nightmares, I probably had under 2 hours sleep at most. It was the first day back from the Summer Holidays, and I for one, wished my bed would swallow me up so I wouldn't need to get to class. "Come on Harry, you've got to wake up! We're going to get late!"

"I don't care, let me sleep... " I murmured groggily. Then, I heard a pair of feet storm to my bed, most likely Ron, who pulled off my covers.

"Oi!" I exclaimed, I reached out my arms in an attempt to get my duvet back, and obviously failed.

"Harry! You have to wake up! We have ten minutes before we are late!" he exclaimed.

"It's not like I care, just say I'm sick or something..." I snuggled into my bed and was about to fall asleep again, when Ron said while waving our timetables:

"We have Potions!"

"WHAT!" I yelled, scrambling to get out of bed." WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME SOONER?!"

"Mate, you looked so peaceful sleeping so we thought you would need the extra sleep- "Ron started but Hermione cut him off.

"It doesn't matter now, unless you get ready in the next nine minutes, we're all going to get detention!"

"You guys should go," I responded." I'll catch up with you later."

"You sure?" Ron asked.

"Yeah, it's only a detention, not like it's going to kill me or anything. Plus, it's better off if only one of us is late then all of us. And you guys are ready, there's no point waiting when it's my fault I didn't wake up on time."

"Good points," commented Hermione." We'll see you later." I nodded at her and then she and Ron left the Dorm.

I checked my watch on my bedside table, 8:54! I only had six minutes left! Rapidly, I ran to the bathroom, by the time I finished everything I had to do in there, there was three minutes left. I grabbed my bag and practically ran to the dungeons. I check my watch again halfway there: 8:59! One minute! Suddenly, Flich and his cat - Mrs Norris -emerged from a corner.

"No running in the corridors!" he shouted. I payed no attention and ran right past him. Finally, which seemed like hours he reached the Potions Classroom in records time. I bursted in through the doors mid-way though his lecture.

"Mr. Potter…30 seconds late!" he sneered. I was about to say an excuse when he interrupted me. "Do you think you so much superior than everyone else that you can come into MY class whenever you like? I will not tolerate this behavior! Detention at my office at 8!" I internally groaned, I had already gotten a detention and it hadn't even been 10 minutes since I woke up! I was about to walk to my seat when Snape stopped me.

"And Mr. Potter… failure to meet the dress code today, as well, I see," I looked down to see I still had my pyjamas on! HOW COULD I FORGET TO CHANGE INTO MY ROBES?! I scanned around the dungeons to see most of the class snickering under their breaths. Blood rushed to my cheeks; I could already tell my face was probably the same shade as Ron's hair. Luckily for myself, Snape casted a nonverbal spell, which turned my pyjamas to become into Hogwarts robes.

"Now Potter, are you just going to stand there or are you going to sit down!" the Potions Professor shouted. I looked across the classroom, the only seat left was next to Neville Longbottom. I groaned for the second time today; not that I didn't want to sit next to him, it's just the fact that I would prefer if I wouldn't mess up today, I don't want to get another detention. I quickly placed myself next to Neville and pulled out my bag to get out my potions book.

"Now, before I was rudely interrupted, you may get your ingredients for the Skele-Gro potion," Snape explained. I looked through my bag when I realized my potions book wasn't there. I can't believe I forgot my Potions Book! I must've left it in the dormitories!

"Erm… sir, I left my potions book in- "

"Deal with it!" he shouted whilst writing down the ingredients on the blackboard. I glanced at Hermione, who gave me a sympathetic look. She came up to me.

"Here," she said thrusting her potions book into my hands. "I've already memorized the method, the book will do you more good than me."

"Thanks 'Mione."

"Sit down, Miss Granger!" barked the potions bat. Hermione quickly walked back to her seat. I opened the textbook and flicked to the page for Skele-gro.

"Sorry for having to put up with me," Neville said apologetically. I shrugged.

"I couldn't care less," I responded.

"Shall I get the ingredients?"

"Yeah thanks." I turned back to the book.

'The Skele-gro potion, which was made by Linfred of Stinchcombe, is a dreadful tasting potion which restores bones. It is able to mend bones, or even regrow entire bones that have vanished or been otherwise lost. For restoring entire bones, the process is notably slow and agonizing, it can take up to a full day.'

I shuddered at the memory of my quidditch match which took place in my second year; I had broken my arm from a tempered bludger, and Lockhart - being the idiot he is - tried doing Brackium Emendo (which is a healing spell for broken bones) and managed to remove the bone from my forearm! Fortunately, Madam Pomfrey used Skele-gro to restore my bone but it was a painful process; my throat was hurting for days afterwards from screaming.

'First, you put water into a cauldron and let it boil to 65°C ...'

I conjured some water and poured it into the cauldron Neville and I were sharing. Whilst I was waiting for the water to boil, Neville came back with the ingredients.

"Harry, should I stir so you can do the cutting and stuff." he asked.

"Sure" I replied and looked at the method of the potion.

'...then, crush scarab beetle and carefully place it in the cauldron...'

I cautiously crushed the insect and added it to the water.

'...next, stir 11 and a half times...'

I told Neville the instructions, and he started to blend the mixture.

'...and cut 25g of puffer-fish into equal 5mm and stir 5 times...'

I had never been good at maths, but I made sure to pay attention to my measurements, but it wasn't easy with Snape breathing down my neck. I gave the formula to Neville, who added it to the potion and began to stir once again. It was grey, which was a good sign.

'Lastly, chop some Chinese Chomping Cabbage and add it to the potion. Stir 7 and a half times. Let it simmer for a few minutes before putting it into a flask.'

I grabbed the which was about to fall off the desk.

"You have five minutes left!" said Snape.

"We won't get it done in time!" Neville whispered nervously.

"We will," I said reassuringly. "We just need to pick up the pace."

I speedily chopped up the cabbage; a little too fast, as I accidentally cut my finger in the process.

"Damn!" I murmured. I dropped my potions knife and started sucking on my finger.

"You okay, Harry?" asked my potions partner.

"Yeah, just a little cut."

"Three minutes left! I expect your potion to be on my desk in the next two!" called out the Potions Professor, whilst scolding another unfortunate pair on their potion.

I grasped onto some cabbage, getting a little blood on it, and threw it into the cauldron. Not like the bloods going to do anything...right? I told Neville to stir it seven times and a half, which he did. I went to get a flask for the potion and happened to pass by Hermione and Ron.

"We've finished our potion," Hermione muttered. "The colour seemed slightly off though."

"Don't worry Hermione, Snape won't notice," I said optimistically. Hermione was about to reply when Neville called me over.

"Erm...Harry...is the potion supposed to bubble like that?"

"It shouldn't be able to bubble." I responded, generally confused. I walked over to the potion; it was purple when it was supposed to be colourless!

"I think we did something wrong- "just before I could finish, the potion exploded." WATCH OUT!" I managed to jump in front of Neville in the nick of time. The scalding potion covered my entire body, not leaving a place untouched; it burned into my skin, I fought to stay awake. I was about to slip into unconsciousness, I heard two voices.

"Harry? HARRY!" I think that was Hermione.

"Stay awake you impudent brat!" okay, that was definitely Snape.

The world became black...

I have decided this book will be a full-fledged story(there was a review that told me that I should, so i did), no longer a one-shot! However, this story isn't set in a particular book of the Harry Potter series.

There will be no Pairings! This is a Humor, not romance! You can imagine Harry with any character you want in this story, but I will be writing no ships (purely because I am the worst at romance).

Thanks for reading! And make sure to check out my other story, Manipulation, which I am re-writing.

PLEASE REVIEW!