Chapter 14
Naruto swung back and forth in his chair. The black eye had already healed and Sasuke had been muttering like a mad man ever since. Currently Sasuke and Hiruzen were out shopping for a number of things and Naruto needed to be at the office to redirect important calls. Sasuke had been exceptionally pleased that the calls to his office had diminished and was highly amused when he found out why. No calls had been coming through, but Naruto and Deidara had been passing the time by playing hangman. Naruto stood up and walked down the hall to Deidaras desk and leaned against it.
"You're in a relationship, right?" Naruto asked.
"Yep." Deidara said and popped his gum.
"How long have you been with your..."
"Boyfriend?" Deidara supplied.
"Yeah."
"Since pre-school." Deidara answered.
"Seriously?!"
"Yep." The long blonde haired men replied perky.
"And you two aren't married..."
"No. I told him I won't accept a proposal unless it has a bang to it, but he feels it should be permanent and beautiful... We differ in our opinions of what's beautiful and artistic."
"What does your boyfriend do?"
"He's a tattoo artist. Owns his own shop and everything."
Tattoo artist...
"He wouldn't happen to be the same person who did Sasuke's tattoo would he?"
"He is. How'd you know about that? I'm pretty sure Mikoto had that removed when he turned 16."
"He told me about it... So, you know your boyfriends friends, yeah?"
"Of course... We have the same friends... Why do you ask?"
"Sasuke hasn't introduced me to any of his friends... And I mean... Normally you would introduce you boyfriend to your friends wouldn't you?"
Deidara looked confused. The man stood up and opened Itachi's office door and Naruto immediately turned away from the door willing the I age that had just been burned into his memory to disappear. Amnesia would be fantastic.
"Oye! Itachi, why didn't you tell me Sasuke had friends?"
"Sasuke has friends?" Kisame asked.
"Sasuke has no friends." Itachi finally added his bit in.
"Naruto said he has friends."
"Suigetsu and Juugo are the closest things to friends Sasuke has; they speak less than 5 times a year. That doesn't count. Besides, my otouto doesn't understand that a friend is someone you actually enjoy being around. So, Sasuke had no friends unless you count me." Itachi explained.
"So Sasuke has no friends?" Naruto clarified.
"That is correct Uzumaki." Itachi said.
"What about the guys that pressured him into sleeping with insanity?" Naruto said with a raised eyebrow.
"Yeah. Those aren't friends. Sometimes acquaintances is the most suitable label for them."
"Shut the door Blondie" Kisame called and the door shut and Naruto turned back around.
"What the hell Deidara?! I didn't want to see Itachi bent over his fucking desk!"
"Welcome to the club. Sasuke was the one who founded it."
"That's disgusting!"
Deidara shrugged," So does that answer your question? Sasuke doesn't have any actual finds by other people's definition."
"What's his definition of a friend then?"
"Someone that passes as a casual acquaintance that I can benefit from knowing." Sasuke answered from behind him."
Naruto jumped up and held his chest,"Your a freaking vampire! Where the hell did you come from?!" Naruto shrieked.
"Today is not your day is it Naruto." Sasuke said smiling. "Anyways, sorry about having to see Itachi, and why are you complaining about not meeting the people I keep in my rarely active social circle?"
"Cause... I was wondering if your friends were shady ass mobsters."
"Not all of them." Sasuke replied.
"Fantastic." Naruto deadpanned.
"Would you like to meet some of my friends? Are you sure you want too?" Sasuke asked unsure of how Naruto would answer.
"Yes."
"We're having a guys night Saturday!" Deidara yelled to the door.
"Good shit!" Kisame yelled back.
Naruto turned and looked at Sasuke trying to gauge his reaction which didn't have Naruto full of confidence.
Naruto got to witness Sasuke "dropping"Hiruzen off at Karin's which consisted of Sasuke staying in the car and the driver doing it. Naruto got kind of pissed when he saw Karin's reaction and Naruto say a tall big orange haired guy wave to the car. Sasuke unrolled the window barely and stuck his hand out to give a small salute.
"That's Juugo, Karin's babysitter." Sasuke explained.
"He looks like a cool dude." Naruto said shrugging.
The men got dropped off by an alleyway and Naruto saw Kisame, the back of Deidaras head and some red-head making out with him, Itachi and... Suigetsu.
"Oye, Blondie, you stole my partner." The man Naruto identified as Suigetsu yelled.
Naruto felt Sasuke wrap his arm around him and kiss his neck; Suigetsu waved them off.
"Teme... You never screwed Suigetsu did you?"
"Not a chance in hell." Sasuke said and visibly shuttered.
"Ok, good." Naruto said and walked forward.
"Aren't we getting a little old for this..." Itachi said boredly.
"No Itachi, your just getting old and your soul is being sucked from your body." Kisame said before wrapping an arm around Itachi's neck. Itachi bit the mans arm and Kisame withdrew his injured limb and nursed it.
The men walked forward and opened the back door to an club and Naruto choked on all the smells. It had been awhile since he'd been out.
"Naruto... I should warn you now... Bad things will happen." Sasuke said in his ear.
Naruto leaned up and said into Sasuke's ear, "You should've met me when I turned 21. Me and my buddy Kiba defined bad things."
Sasuke froze and decided starting tomorrow he was going to take a more active interest in Naruto's past.
They all went to the bar and Naruto took notice of the drink the men were ordering and snickered to himself. Deidara got a Midori Sour, Sasori a shot of Fireball, Kisame ordered a friggin fish bowl, Itachi ordered a martini and Suigetsu got a beer - Naruto looked up at Sasuke waiting for him to order and Sasuke stared and blinked at him. Naruto judged people based off their drinks. He really did. And Sasuke was about to be judged.
"I'll have a double shot of Johnny Walker Blue label."
His Teme was a rich bastard with expensive taste.
Apt he bartender looked at Naruto and the blonde decided to have some fun... "I'll have and Adios." Naruto said with a smile.
After about ten minutes all the men were drinking Adios' and Naruto forgot to mention... After three your making very bad decisions.
Suigetsu was trying to screw the security guard, Deidara was trying to strip, Sasori was throwing ones at him, Kisame was attempting to stay on the bar stool and Itachi was...missing.
Naruto was still working on his first drink, therefore still not drunk. Naruto was keeping a very close eye on a drunk Sasuke. Naruto now had a new hobby, get Sasuke drunk off his ass, whisper dirty things in his ear and then stay out of reach. Naruto could compare the game to a drugged lion hunting a gazelle.
Naruto gathered most of the group and was looking for Itachi. He ushered them outside and got in the alley way where'd they'd entered and he found Itachi heaving his guts out.
"Itachi, babe, you ok?" Kisame asked panicked and ran over holding back Itachi's hair.
"He doesn't hold liquor very well..." Sasuke managed to say.
"I'm amazed you didn't slur."
"Hmmmmmm, it's cause I'm awesome."
"I like you better drunk. You're more human."
"Wait until tonight... WhenI'm on the bathroom floor managing to look sexy while throwing up."
Naruto burst out laughing and managed to get them over to a convenience store and bought lots of water and distributed them. Naruto turned to the red head and extended his arm to the very pretty guy who was Deidaras boyfriend.
"I'm Naruto."
"Sasori..." He answered. He looked Naruto up and down, "Want a tattoo?"
And that is how the plans shifted for the night.
All the guys went to Sasori's tattoo and piercing parlor called 'Scorpion' and they all hung around.
"Alright... You get a free tattoo, but zi get to choose the design."
Naruto agreed to the condition.
"I don't like this idea..." Sasuke said obviously uneasy about this.
"Well... How about a piercing then?" Naruto suggested. They weren't permanent.
Sasuke made a face and before he could shoot the idea down Deidara spoke up,"Tou should get you tongue pierced! Sasuke would love it!"
Naruto saw Sasuke's face went from 'no' to interested.
"I think that's an acceptable body modification."
"Pervert." Naruto said.
Naruto sat in the chair as Sasori got gloves on and picked up the piece of jewelry. Naruto watched as the needle got picked up and Naruto let out a shaky breath. He was hoping for an ear piercing... But he was buzzed and this became a good idea.
Naruto stuck his tongue out and scrunched his face in pain as he felt the needle shoot through and he felt the jewelry get placed inside.
"Fuhck." Naruto said with his tongue still partially out of his mouth. His tongue was swelling and throbbing in pain ever so slightly. Naruto managed to close his mouth and accepted the rinse cup Deidara brought over. Naruto rinsed his mouth and decided he was done with bad ideas for the night.
Suigetsu was the one who opted for a tattoo in the end. He had the inside of his lip tattooed with the word "DICK" which everyone laughed at.
"I wonder if it'd hurt to get an anal tattoo..." Itachi wondered allowed.
"I will never tattoo your ass Itachi." Sasori said very firmly.
Deidara talked Sasori into getting his Septum pierced and Sasori wasn't thrilled since he knew Deidara would just take it out like he did all his piercings just so he could get it again. It was annoying.
"Hey Sasuke..." Naruto spoke with his tongue still swelled up.
"Hm."
"I think it'd be hot if you got a piercing."
"I can't get one. My mother would kill me." Itachi nodded in agreement.
"Then get it where she can't see..."
Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
"You should get your nipples pierced." Naruto said blushing.
Everyone else unanimously agreed that this was a fantastic idea and wrestled Sasuke into the chair.
Everyone sobered up after that and Sasuke walked alongside Naruto holding his nipples, "Once your tongue heals your giving me a long blowjob Dobe." Sasuke said and hissed in pain. His t-shirt kept rubbing and catching the new piercings.
"Happily Teme." Naruto said and started laughing.