don't own
Not that there is EVER a good excuse for me disappearing, just hear me out. I got into a car accident. Hurts like hell to sit for long period of time hence not wanting to write. Everyone survived the crash. My knee isn't thrilled and probably wont be for a long time. And next month I will be heading out of the country for a vacation.
Also, Review.
Chapter 42
Second Trimester
Naruto decided that the second trimester should be renamed Wednesday. You're halfway though the pregnancy and the end is in sight. Sasuke had really stepped up the romance by means of flowers, small presents and massages most likely to make up for his lack of enthusiasm, which Kisame had kindly explained. Naruto, at the very least sent him naughty pictures. Naruto's energy levels had risen which was a plus, but he was no where near his original energy levels.
His life consisted of mostly cocoa butter, yoga and being a housewife. He started taking Hiruzen out to playgrounds and such. His hair had grown out from the medications he was taking and could actually pull it up into a small bun. He realized if he wore yoga pants and hoodie he would look like a pregnant woman. Which gave him an evil idea. He grabbed Hiruzen and drove to the the nearest clothing store and dashed in. He went to maternity and played that guesstimating game where you look at the outfit, but don't try it on. He bought the first dress he could find. He went and showered and blow dried his hair but managed to straighten it and then slipped the dress on. He resembled a flat chested pregnant woman but it'd work. Naruto went outside in the front of their house and started to play with Hiruzen when he heard Sasuke pull up.
Sasuke sat in his car and tried to call Naruto who seemed to not be answering. He stared at his son playing with a complete stranger and decided to get out and see who it was. Surprise and all.
"Uhm, excuse me Miss. Do you know where my husband is?"
Naruto waited until Sasuke was close enough behind him to turn around sharply and yell "Boo!"
Apparently, Sasuke hadn't been pranked in awhile based on how badly he flinched.
"Ahhh hahaha that's two for flinching." Naruto went up and lightly punched Sasuke's arm twice.
"You will pay for this Dobe. I will never forget this, do you understand me?" Sasuked voice laced with venom.
"Yeah, sure." Naruto waved it off.
"We have a doctor appointment today Dobe." Sasuke stated waiting for his husband turned wife to realized they needed to leave right then and there.
"Ah. Shit. Let me cha-"
"No. Get in the car." Sasuke said getting back in the car after strapping Hiruzen in.
Tsunade almost died of laughter. Almost. She managed to regain composure long enough too give an ultra sound.
"Baby looked strong and healthy. Good job Naruto. Do you miss Ramen horribly still?"
"Yes and no." Naruto admitted.
"Like kicking any bad habit you just need to keep sober." Tsunade said with a smile.
"Can we find out the gender."
"You could, if your mother hadn't called and told me not to tell either of you."
"Seriously?!" Naruto screeched.
"Gender-reveal party... Which means we will have house guests again. And every female related to the Uchiha family. Fantastic."
"Noooooooo." Naruto whined.
On the drive back Naruto asked how everything was going at work, which Sasuke admitted was going better. IHowever, Mikoto and Fugaku were still silent as the grave on the medical treatment Fugaku had been recieving which was causing the Uchiha brothers to continuously worry.
"You know, your dad should tell you what's going on. Doesn't seem right especially if its something genetic and may affect you or Itachi in the future." Naruto complained. Damn Uchiha's and their social retardedness.
"That would be problematic. We don't really share news of our personal health with anyone. Not even family."
"So, basically you wouldn't know what kind of medical history your family has?" Naruto asked with furrowed eyebrows. "My family is exceptionally healthy. But, if something does happen, everyone knows."
"Dobe, if I get even an ingrown toenail, your aren't allowed to breathe a word of it. Got it?" Sasuke shot a look at him to show Naruto he was serious.
"Coming from the guy who gets air sick to the point it's freaking obvious." Naruto shot back.
"No sharing personal health information. No." Sasuke turned the radio on and continued the drive.
A few weeks passed and Mikoto had a gender reveal party planned as well as a baby shower just to get the parties out of the way, and presents could be sent later on. Naruto cracked a huge smile on his face feeling the baby move around a bit while he injected the medicine in the little pouch like thing that contained his and Sasuke's child. Hiruzen had gotten into the habit of coming up and touching Naruto's belly or laying his head on it, although Sasuke would remove him since he didn't want anything going wrong. But Hiruzen got the idea he was going to be a big brother once he realized there was a baby in Naruto's abdomen thanks to all the t.v. shows Naruto unwillingly began to watch.
Sasuke came through the door with his mother in tow and she immediately went and kissed Hiruzen atop of the head before slinking over and placing a hand on Naruto's abdomen.
Mikoto smiled and looked over at Sasuke in a way that conveyed she was extremely happy.
"Thanks mom, now I know what it is." Sasuke said returning the smile.
"What?" Naruto said looking over at Sasuke like he missed something.
"How?" She asked while removing her hand.
"Your face is such a dead giveaway. Looks like I don't have to attend that dreadful party after all."
"Yes you damn well do. We also need to get things ready for Halloween. Hiruzen can actually go trick or treating this year." She said before heading off to the bathroom.
"I totally forgot about Halloween." Naruto stood there horror-stricken.
"You could just stand outside and say your pregnant for Halloween." Sasuke said with a snicker.
Sasuke narrowly missed the cook book that got thrown at his head.
Sasuke and Naruto ultimately decided to let Mikoto and Kushina take Hiruzen and Tegan trick-or-treating dressed as a Tiger and a princess while everyone else sat around a bonfire throwing candy at the kids. But for now, they awaited the arrival of Uncle Itachi, Uncle Kisame and Tegan, who was growing up way to fast.
After everyone arrived and everyone greeted the science baby in their own weird way, Sasuke opened a bottle of wine pouring his mother, Itachi, Kisame and himself all a glass of wine while pouring water into cups for Tegan, Hiruzen and Naruto-which Naruto whole-heartedly resented him for.
A few glasses of wine and Naruto followed the seemingly boring conversation until he realized Mikoto was getting drunk... whereas Sasuke and Itachi were still sober enough to keep a conversation going, but neither of them stopped her, they actually insisted on more glasses.
Naruto leaned over and whisper in his husbands ear, "Why are you getting your mother drunk?" He pulled back with a smile.
Sasuke leaned in kissing Naruto's cheek, "Desperate times Dobe."
Naruto's face dropped and he heard Itachi speak up.
"So mother, how is father doing? Better I hope?" Itachi asked.
"Boyssss, I've asked you not to worry about him. He is FINEEE." She finished with a giggle.
"Then there's no real harm in telling us." Sasuke piped up.
"The harm would be to your father's pride. I couldn't possible tell you."
Both boys looked absolutely defeated. Naruto decided to intervene.
"If you tell us what send him to the hospital, I'll let you stay with us after the baby is born." Naruto stated.
Sasuke whipped his head to look at Naruto and then over at his mother who looked very serious. She wouldn't throw her husband under the bus for-
"Your father is suffering from erectile dysfunction. As far as the doctor can tell it was brought on by stress. Other than that, healthy as a horse." She said very clearly.
"F-father can't... get an erection... because of stress?" Itachi asked for clarification.
"That would be correct, now, I really need to shower. Tomorrow we have a family outing and this weekend a party." She said and clapped her hands before getting up and walking to her room.
Naruto's face was trying very hard not to crack at the deafening silence. Sasuke and Itachi looked mortified. Kisame looked at his daughter before picking her up and taking her to their room to be placed in Hiruzen's old playpen.
Naruto grabbed Hiruzen and walked his little redhead to his own room.
Sasuke and Itachi both pulled their phone's out to google stress relief and stress management.
Luckily Mikoto had no recollection of the ordeal the next morning including getting to stay with them after the baby way born.
The weekend had approached all too quickly and all four men drove to a rather nice hotel in Downtown Los Angeles. Sasuke held Naruto's hand which helped with the anxiety. Mikoto had taken Hiruzen and Tegan with Kushina ahead of time. Naruto got out of the car, and since his hair was growing out, it wasn't hard to make the mistake he was a woman. This both amused and annoyed Sasuke greatly. They walked into the room and Naruto saw there were a lot of women present and a few men sprinkled through out. Ino, Kiba, Hinata with his god son, Tenten, Neji, Gaara and Choji chilling by the appetizers. It was a small banquet hall, and didn't feel anything like a baby party and by looking at all his friends, they seemingly agreed. No banners, fun balloons, games or anything remotely babyshoweresque. It was awkward. Furthermore, a lot of women Naruto didn't know or recognise and they were all dressed very uppity. He was tempted to turn and leave. He looked around for Hiruzen as his Husband and Itachi went to greet the hoards of women that Mikoto must have invited. Naruto opted to go over to his own mother.
"What kind of baby shower gender reveal thing is this?" Naruto asked in a hushed tone.
"I have no idea." Kushina answered back. She pat Naruto's stomach and gave it a small kiss causing the baby to roll around.
Tsunade strolled in and instructed Naruto to sit down and elevate his feet which he did immediately. She got him some water and did a normal check up on the baby.
"Any discomfort?" She asked as she lightly ran her fingers over his stomach.
"Yes. But I believe that comes with the territory." Naruto said looking around.
"Alright, just take it easy. You are almost in the clear. Starting next week you will be coming in much more frequently, ok?" She said seriously.
Naruto frowned but nodded just the same.
A few of Naruto's friends went out and bought a few board games while others went over and mingled. Awkward couldn't begin to describe the ordeal. None of these women bothered to come up and greet Naruto. A lot of them seemed more interested in Sasuke and Itachi. He noticed Kisame off with Tegan and Hiruzen and decided to go over there.
"What the fuck kind of party is this?" Naruto asked before sitting back down.
"We do have to remember that Sasuke and Itachi come from a more elite group. Where as just them and their parents on their own are fine, in groups like this, its different." Kisame answered.
"This is a party for me and test tube baby. Yet, they are all over there. The fuck?"
"Don't take it personally, but I guaruntee you all those old hags are trying to convince Sasuke and Itachi their children would make better spouses than we do. But they are Mikoto's friends. And they will ultimately send very nice gifts. But they will also ignore the fuck out of us and anyone not in their social class. I bet you any amount of money both of our husbands will be getting slammed tonight." Kisame finished and stood to get blood flow back in his legs.
"Well then, fuck this shit, I'm out. I'm uncomfortable and don't want to be here to begin with. Let me know what the sex is, ok?" Naruto stated before standing.
Naruto waddled his way out of the room mostly unnoticed since Kisame obviously knew he was leaving, but was rather intrigued when the big man followed him with the kids.
"I've got Mikoto's car keys with the car seats. I hate theses kinds of parties." He grumbled.
On their drive home Naruto discovered this was the only thing he hated about being with Itachi and that later on they'd both get in a shit ton of trouble for having left. Naruto got a few text messages from his friends and his mother and he simply stated he would rather be at home than a elite gathering. Which in turn, they all didn't feel bad about leaving. Tenten informed Naruto she would host the next baby shower because that shouldn't count.
Sasuke and Itachi drove home in an extremely pissed off mood. That party had been a straight up disaster, but their mom had an obligation to host it. However, he was more surprised at the fact that everyone collectively left at the same time and Gaara was the one to point out his very delicate Dobe had decided to leave. Itachi seemed upset also, but wasn't voicing his opinion on the matter. He did recognize he was the one ultimately at fault though. He should have warned Naruto it wasn't going to live up to his expectations. He was going to introduce Naruto, but he figured his blonde would want to greet his friends and family first. But rather than Naruto coming up being the social butterfly he normally was, went poof. No text message, no note not even a quick hushed conversation informing Sasuke he wanted to leave and they could have lied and left together.
"I'm sorry boys. I know that had to be hard." Mikoto said apologetically from the back seat.
"Sasuke, Naruto might like it if you stop and pick him up something." Kushina suggested from the backseat.
Sasuke stopped at the stop light and looked around. He pulled up to a convience store and got out to get followed by Itachi. Sasuke walked over and picked out a thing of flowers and walked down some of the aisles before grabbing Hiruzen a small toy. Itachi grabbed a bear for his daughter and grabbed Beef Jerky for his husband. They both got a few bottles of wine and liquor to accompany their purchases.
The rest of the drive home was silent. Kushina got out of their car and got in her own to drive home. Sasuke, Itachi and Mikoto walked in the house with their purchases in hand.
Naruto walked up to Sasuke pecking him on the lips and Sasuke hugged Naruto.
"I love you Dobe." Sasuke said tightening his grip slightly before releasing it and handing Hiruzen his monster truck toy and the bouquet of flowers to Naruto.
"You didn't have to give me flowers Sasuke." Naruto said with a cheeky grin.
"They aren't for just you." Sasuke stated opening the first bottle of wine and taking a drink straight from the bottle.
Naruto scrunched his face up in confusion.
"I thought our daughter might appreciate them too." Sasuke finished with a smile.
"So its a girl?" Itachi asked throwing small pieces of beef jerky at Kisame who was playing video games and catching the beef jerky in his mouth.
Naruto's jaw dropped and his eyes started to water.
"You will never have a boyfriend." Naruto said smiling down at his belly.
"Damn right she won't" Sasuke said taking another drink before opening a second bottle and bringing it to Itachi.