Chapter Three

Mrs. Bennet could hardly contain her excitement as she waited for Mr. Collins to arrive. She kept checking with Mrs. Hill, their housekeeper, that everything was ready for their guest. Elizabeth tried to stay out of her mother's way by hiding in the garden, but Mrs. Bennet quickly hunted her out sitting in the arbour on the south lawn reading a book.

"Lizzy, Lizzy. What are you doing out here, girl?" screeched Mrs. Bennet. "Your face will become all red. That is not ladylike. Come in at once."

"Mama. I am sheltered from the sun and I am wearing a bonnet. You have nothing to worry about," said Elizabeth, keeping her eyes firmly on her book.

"Not worry? There is plenty to worry about. Do you not realise the importance of today? Mr. Collins will soon be here and you must be ready for him."

Elizabeth suppressed a laugh. She was ready for him.

"And Lizzy, if he proposes to you, which I know he will, you must accept him immediately. You will find no better man than Mr. Collins."

Elizabeth looked up from her book. "Mama, you know that is not true. In time Jane will marry Mr. Bingley, and he undoubtedly is a better man."

"Well yes, he does have five thousand a year which Mr. Collins does not have. Now do not quibble with me, Lizzy. If you marry Mr. Collins I will not have to give up my home."

Elizabeth sighed. Her mother's concern was only ever for herself. Mrs. Bennet would have her marry any man, if it meant she could stay at Longbourn. She could hardly blame her mother, but it irked Elizabeth that Mrs. Bennet could not see what an unsuitable man Mr. Collins was.

"Mama, have you thought Mr. Collins might not even ask me to marry him?"

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Bennet looked as if she was going to faint. "How could you say such a wicked thing? Of course he will ask you, I am certain of it. And naturally you will accept. In deference to your poor dead father it will be a very small wedding, with a breakfast, before you travel down to Kent to your new home."

Elizabeth was amused to hear how much her mother had already planned. She felt a little guilty about how much she was going to upset Mrs. Bennet, especially when their financial position was so serious, but Mr. Collins really wouldn't do as a husband. She found it difficult to be in his presence for more than a few minutes. The thought of spending the rest of her life with him was not to be tolerated.

"Lizzy, you must come back to the house and change. You cannot greet Mr. Collins looking like that," said Mrs. Bennet.

"What do you mean, Mama?" asked Elizabeth, looking at her pale blue dress. "I see nothing wrong."

"That dress is too old, Lizzy. Now do not argue with me, you must go and change. I think the cream with the yellow trim will look very nice "

Elizabeth reluctantly followed her mother. She cared little for her appearance except to look presentable. Changing just for Mr. Collins was an irksome task. She had no wish to give the man any encouragement. However, neither could she bear her mother becoming hysterical so she called for her maid Polly and went upstairs to change into Mrs. Bennet's choice of dress.

"I do think you're lucky, Lizzy," said Lydia, the youngest of the Bennet girls, when she returned downstairs to the morning room where the rest of the family were gathered.

"Lucky?" asked Elizabeth.

"Well, when you marry Mr. Collins, as a reverend's wife you will have lots of opportunity to show off your clothes. Imagine, you could have a new bonnet for church every Sunday."

Elizabeth looked despairingly at Jane. Lydia was so very silly and Kitty at two years older wasn't much better. Mr. Bennet had done them a great disservice in not seeing they were better educated.

Mr. Collins arrived in the late afternoon. He swept into the house with great ceremony. All the sisters were lined up to greet him, along with Mrs. Bennet who gave him an effusive smile.

"My dear Mr. Collins, how delightful it is to see you again."

"And you too, madam," said Mr. Collins, inclining his head, "And your lovely daughters."

A part of Elizabeth had hoped she had misjudged Mr. Collins' character, but alas she realised she had not. In his black clothes with his hair slicked down to his head and the unctuous way in which he talked, he could only be a figure of ridicule.

"It is so nice to be here at Longbourn once again. It is a beautiful house. Naturally it is nothing compared to Rosings. I have told you about Rosings, haven't I, Mrs. Bennet?"

Elizabeth was sure she heard Kitty and Lydia groan. Yes, Mr. Collins had told them all about Rosings and his patron, Lady Catherine de Bourgh. It was really the only thing he ever talked about and his devotion to this titled lady they had never met was quite nauseating.

"You have told us, Mr. Collins, and I hope Lady de Bourgh was in good health when you left," said Mrs. Bennet politely.

"My dear lady, it is so kind of you to enquire, but you need not be troubled. Lady Catherine is the type of woman who rarely suffers from ill health, but even when she does she bears it with the kind of Christian fortitude you would expect of someone in her position." Mr. Collins looked alarmingly sentimental.

Mrs. Bennet nodded. "I wonder how her ladyship could spare you, Mr. Collins, it is kind of you to come." Mrs. Bennet led them into the drawing room and motioned for the girls to sit.

"Lady Catherine does rely on me very much and I do go to Rosings daily, however she has been kind enough to let me leave the parish for a number of days while I conduct some business at Longbourn."

Mrs. Bennet immediately became tearful and started to dab at her eyes with a handkerchief. "So you have come to throw us out of the house," she said.

Mr. Collins, who was standing by the fireplace, hastened to reassure her. "My dear Mrs. Bennet. That would be a most unchristian thing to do. With the demise of your poor husband, Longbourn is mine, but I am in no need of it. You and your daughters must stay here for the current time. No, when I talked of business I was not thinking of Longbourn. No indeed, I was thinking of something quite different. Lady Catherine has told me that I should delay no longer. A man of my calling is in need of a wife. Lady Catherine said, Mr. Collins, any woman would be fortunate to take a godly and generous man such as yourself for a husband. You are the man, to train and guide a wife and produce a child to carry on your name."

Lydia stifled a laugh which led to a coughing fit and Kitty was forced to slap her hard on the back until she recovered. Elizabeth, who was sitting next to Jane, squeezed her sister's hand. Mr. Collins was sillier than ever. To see him standing there in front of the fireplace making such silly declarations as if he was an actor on stage was too funny to behold. She was not surprised that Lydia had been unable to contain herself.

Mrs. Bennet was looking suitably awestruck. "A wife, Mr. Collins? You have come to Longbourn to seek a wife?"

"Indeed I have, madam, and Lady Catherine says I should not return to Kent without one. Now I have had a very long and tiring journey. I think I will have a rest in my room before I partake of some food."

"I'm afraid we have no food, Mr. Collins," said Elizabeth suddenly. "Mama has decided that food is unnecessary."

Mrs. Bennet glared at Elizabeth. "What are you talking about, Elizabeth. Naturally we will dine. You know Mrs. Hill has been planning some of Mr. Collins' favourite foods."

"Are you sure, Mama? I am certain you mentioned that we have neither food or room for Mr. Collins."

Mr. Collins was looking a little shocked. "If I am unable to stay, dear lady, perhaps I could…"

"Mr. Collins, you are staying and I do not understand what nonsense Elizabeth is talking about. We have a room for you," said Mrs. Bennet firmly.

"Room, Mama? I don't think we have one. What is this room you talk of?" said Elizabeth.

Everyone was now staring at Elizabeth. "Lizzy, are you unwell?" asked Lydia with a giggle.

Mrs. Bennet's mouth was opening and closing in shock. "Mr. Collins, you must forgive Elizabeth. We have a room for you."

Elizabeth stared at her mother. "Why are you looking at me, Mama? Naturally I know we have a room for Mr. Collins. I didn't say we hadn't."

Jane gently touched her arm. "Lizzy, you did. For a moment you seemed confused."

"Was I?" said Elizabeth, looking around at them all. She turned back to Mr. Collins whose smile had disappeared. "I am sorry, Mr. Collins, I don't recall what I said. I think I must have been in the sun too long. Please forgive me."

"Naturally I forgive you, it is perfectly understandable," said Mr. Collins. "In the future, Miss Elizabeth, you must take more care of yourself when outside. Now Lady Catherine is always so careful with the sun. Neither she nor her daughter Miss Anne de Bourgh would risk excessive heat and all that comes with it."

"Lady Catherine sounds a marvellous woman," says Mrs. Bennet, who was still looking with puzzlement at her second daughter. "Mr. Collins, you said you wished to rest. I shall get Haskins to show you to your room. Mrs. Hill has prepared the best room in the house for you. I hope that you will find it to your liking."

"Mrs. Bennet, I am a humble man with the simplest of tastes and I am sure I will be very comfortable. Lady Catherine says…"

Mrs. Bennet led Mr. Collins out of the room as he continued regaling her with another story about her esteemed ladyship. As soon as the door had closed behind them the sisters all turned on Elizabeth.

"Lizzy, are you ill?" asked Jane anxiously.

"Lizzy, that was hilarious," said Lydia, giggling. "You should have seen Mr. Collins' face."

"I am not unwell," said Elizabeth. "I was just a little confused for a moment. I don't know what was wrong. I must apologise to Mama. I'm sure she was mortified."

"Lizzy, I think you should go and lie down until dinner," said Jane firmly. "We do not want you to become unwell."

Lizzy inwardly laughed. She had used almost the exact same words to Jane earlier that morning. She wished she could have confessed to Jane there was nothing wrong with her at all. Lydia could be very silly but she was far more astute than her elder sister. If Elizabeth was to carry out her plan she would have to play her part well.

"I will go up now," she said, trying to sound a little tired. "I will see you later."

Once in her room, she quietly laughed. It was very wicked of her, but the first part of her plan was now in place. Having seen Mr. Collins again she had no doubt that she could make it work.