Chapter Twenty-Nine

With the decision made things quickly fell into place. Elizabeth wrote a note to the Gardiners and she sent it back with her uncle's carriage driver. She was unable to give the Gardiners many details, but she simply said she was travelling to Kent with Mr. Darcy on a family matter. She knew although they would have questions, they would not be unduly worried.

Darcy disappeared to change and when he returned he looked a great deal better than when she had arrived.

"I hope once again that your uncle and aunt will understand and forgive this unorthodox behaviour," said Mr. Darcy as they made their way out to the carriage.

"Sir, they admire and trust you," Elizabeth assured him. "They will be surprised, perhaps even a little concerned, but they will know I am safe."

Minutes later they were settled comfortably and the carriage was pulling away from Sloane Square. Elizabeth was worried about Georgiana, but she couldn't help feeling rather excited at the unexpected adventure. She had rarely been to the coast and she looked forward to seeing it.

Mr. Darcy did not seem to be inclined to talk at first so she entertained herself looking out of the carriage window, as they moved through the well-to-do streets of the city, through to some poorer areas, until they moved into the rural areas outside of London.

It was only when they made a stop to rest the horses that Mr. Darcy spoke to her.

"Miss Bennet, I owe you an apology," he suddenly said, as they rested in an inn.

Elizabeth was surprised. "Did you once not tell me that you never apologised."

Mr. Darcy looked uncomfortable although he did not look away. "I can see I shall forever be reminded of the unfortunate things I have said. It was an arrogant remark and one I should never have made."

"There are many things that I should not have said," Elizabeth told him. "Too often my tongue runs away with me."

"You have a quickness of thought and openness which I admire," said Mr. Darcy.

Elizabeth could hardly take in what he was saying. Mr. Darcy admired her? It was the first time he had paid her a genuine compliment. It was most gratifying. "Thank you, but for what did you want to apologise?"

"It was kind of you to come with Georgiana's letter and I am sorry that my temper was so short. My only excuse is that I am worried about her. Running away is so out of character and I cannot account for why she would take such an action."

Elizabeth spoke carefully. "I think she is confused and having to hide her true feelings led her to fleeing to somewhere she felt safe."

Mr. Darcy seemed to ponder on what she said. "I cannot understand why she would even entertain the idea of a relationship with Wickham against my wishes. He is only after her money."

Elizabeth could see at the mere mention of Wickham's name Mr. Darcy's expression grew darker and a vein jumped nervously in his cheek. "Are you certain it is only the money he is interested in?"

"Yes, I am certain."

They finished their meal in silence and Elizabeth almost wished she hadn't mentioned it. She could not help wondering if he was wrong.

As they continued their journey Mr. Darcy told her a little more about Wickham. "We spent our youth together and my father was very proud of him and thought of him as a son. I am thankful that Wickham's true nature was hidden from my father while he was alive. Once my father died and he was freed of all constraint, he led a dissolute life. He was offered a living on the Pemberley estate, but he did not want it and I was grateful that he accepted money in lieu."

Elizabeth listened, fascinated that he was sharing his private business with her. The strain was clear in his voice, which was racked with tension and pain. "And was that the last you saw of Mr. Wickham?"

"Unfortunately not," said Mr. Darcy grimly. "I was unaware that he had formed an attachment to Georgiana. If I had been I would have stopped it at once. Her fortune is considerable. When he left Pemberley he managed to keep in contact with her and soon followed her to Ramsgate where she was living and Georgiana's attachment was so strong to him that she agreed to an elopement."

His voice had dropped and for a moment Elizabeth wondered if he was going to finish what he was saying. He appeared to be lost in his own thoughts and she stared out of the carriage window as the horses picked up speed on the open roads.

Mr. Darcy had composed himself and suddenly started talking again. "I went unexpectedly to visit Georgiana and was lucky enough to arrive a day before the proposed elopement. Georgiana confessed the whole plan to me."

"And what did you do?"

"I did what any brother would have done faced with such circumstances. I gave him money on the condition that he never came near Georgiana again. Georgiana was furious when she found out what I had done and for many months there was little conversation between us. I told her that we would never mention his name again."

Elizabeth could not help thinking that he had made a mistake. Georgiana had fallen in love and those feelings would not so easily be dismissed. "But did you not think she might have wanted to talk to you about it?"

Mr. Darcy looked puzzled at her question. "I am her brother, but I am also her guardian. She knows that I am older, with more experience of life. I had dealt with the problem and saved her from a scandal. There was nothing to be gained from talking about it further. Georgiana understood that I am sure."

Elizabeth had never expected to feel sorry for Mr. Darcy, but the more the sorry tale unfolded she began to view him differently. It could not have been easy for him, becoming a guardian to his sister at such a young age.

"But it seems Georgiana did not forget him."

"I have been naïve. I knew Wickham's main aim was to have access to her fortune. I thought paying him off would be sufficient. I can see my mistake, Miss Bennet. I was derelict in my duty to care for her that I did not consider Georgiana's feelings in this matter."

This was not the Mr. Darcy she knew, humble and more thoughtful. "I believe you are too hard on yourself, sir. Georgiana has described you as the best brother in the world."

Elizabeth saw that he was embarrassed by her words, but it was true.

"Georgiana is equally complimentary about you, Miss Bennet. She told me you are the wisest person she knows."

Elizabeth blushed. "Georgiana flatters me and I do not deserve it."

"Perhaps Georgiana is a better judge of both of us than we are of ourselves," said Mr. Darcy with a slight smile.

Embarrassed, they both fell silent and turned their attention to the changing countryside as they continued on their journey to Ramsgate. Every now and then she surreptitiously glanced at Mr. Darcy who sat upright staring out of the window. She could not help thinking that even in his anguish he was a handsome man. It was difficult to think of him as the same man who had offered her his hand in marriage.

Elizabeth was relieved when they arrived in Ramsgate. Her body ached from being bumped on some of the rough roads towards the coast and she had a slight headache. As she stepped out of the carriage she took in a deep breath of fresh air, immediate conscious of the smell of the sea. It was so very different from the smog of London. Mr. Darcy found them rooms in a new hotel on the seafront.

"You should rest and have a meal," said Mr. Darcy. "I must find where Georgiana is staying. If there really is a marriage tomorrow we have not a moment to lose."

"Then let me help you search. We can dine later."

Mr. Darcy was not entirely comfortable with the scheme but Elizabeth insisted she was in no need of rest and she should go with him and he eventually agreed. They asked the hotel owner where they could find Bruton Street where Georgiana was staying and found it was only about ten minutes away.

The house was in a less affluent area than the more well developed seafront, the cobbled street was dark and narrow with overhanging houses. Rubbish was everywhere and the smell was overwhelming unpleasant. Elizabeth was tempted to hold a handkerchief to her nose, but she didn't want to draw attention to herself. She took the arm that Mr. Darcy offered her and they walked along as if they should have been there and nothing was amiss.

"This is it," said Mr. Darcy, stopping outside a small house with a battered wooden door. He knocked, but there was no response. Elizabeth stood back and looked towards the upper windows. She wondered whether Georgiana was inside and was trying to hide herself. Mr. Darcy knocked three more times, but nothing. "I will return this evening," he said.

As they started to walk down the street, they turned as someone called after them.

"Oi. Can't you let a man sleep. Get away from here." The man had a deep voice that had a rasp to it. His face and arms were smeared with dirt and his grey shirt and trousers covered in dark patches. Elizabeth wondered if he was a miner.

Mr. Darcy walked back towards the man. "I was looking for someone. A young woman named Miss Darcy."

The man looked at him suspiciously. "What do you want with her?"

Mr. Darcy glared at the man. "I'm her brother and I came to visit her."

The man didn't look as if he quite believed him. Elizabeth could smell the drink on him. "She's not here. She left yesterday. Said she wouldn't be back."

"Do you know where she's gone?" asked Elizabeth as he saw the colour drain from Mr. Darcy's face.

"Didn't say. She paid my wife what she owed and was gone."

"And you have no idea where she went?"

"I just said I didn't," said the man crossly. "Now go away. I'm on nights—need my sleep." He slammed the door on them.

Darcy lifted his hand to knock on the door and then dropped it again. "There's nothing more we can do here. We must continue our search elsewhere."

They traced their steps back to the hotel. It was as if a deep gloom had settled onto Mr. Darcy.

"Where shall we look next?"

Mr. Darcy shook his head. "I am uncertain. I will make some enquiries in as many of the taverns or inns as I can. Someone might have seen her."

"You cannot do this alone," said Elizabeth. "Let me come with you."

"No, I must have some food and then I will go out and I will not stop even after it grows dark. I cannot let you accompany me. There are many dangers at night in a place like this and I cannot expose you to it. If I don't find Georgiana I shall make enquiries about Wickham."

Elizabeth wanted to argue with him, but she could see he was feeling the strain of his lost sister. She did not want to cause him more pain than he was already suffering.

"Very well."

In truth Elizabeth was not sorry to have a rest. The hours spent in the carriage and then the walk up the cobbled streets to the address Georgiana had given them had left her feeling weary. It was also some hours since they had eaten and she was beginning to feel very hungry.

She spent an hour in her room sitting in a comfortable chair with her eyes closed and giving herself up to sleep. When she awoke, she was conscious of feeling dirty from the journey and she washed her face with soap in the bowl provided. By the time she had tidied her hair, taking out some pins and putting them back, she felt more refreshed and joined Mr. Darcy in the extra room he had hired for them. The food was already set out on a table and Elizabeth was grateful for the delicious smells that hit her nose as a servant pulled out a chair for her.

"This is most welcome," she said as she was served a plate of fish with mint. "The taste of the sea. Was it caught today?"

"Yes, ma'am," said the servant.

Mr. Darcy seemed preoccupied and said nothing until they had been served with some vegetables in a rich buttery sauce, before they were left alone.

"Miss Bennet. I want you to know just how grateful I am that you came today. It shows such a generosity of spirit, particularly after the way I treated you the last time that we met."

Elizabeth put down her fork. She did not want him to see how badly she was shaking.

"I am not good with words. I wasn't then and I regret I may not be now, but I do want you to understand that my intention was not to hurt you."

"But you did," said Elizabeth quietly.

"I can offer you no excuse, and to try and explain would, I'm sure, make matters worse."

"It certainly would not help." Elizabeth wanted to tell him that it didn't matter, but it did. His thoughtless proposal had hurt her badly. "It was an honour that you had even considered me, but to have it present as some business arrangement is not something many women would want."

"Would you rather I had lied to you?"

"No…. No…" If he had lied, it would have made it much worse. "Sir, I would rather we did not talk about this again."

"I have no wish to make you uncomfortable, Miss Bennet, but let me add this final thought. I have always prided myself in knowing how to behave and yet I can see that I have allowed my pride to be blind to the deficiencies that I have."

Elizabeth could not help smiling. Mr. Darcy sounded so formal and stiff. She had been hurt and part of her wanted to carry on being angry with him but she could not. His anguish over Georgiana touched her heart and during the course of the day hearing him voice his concern for his sister had made her realise just how much he loved her. The proud, arrogant Mr. Darcy was still much in evidence, but there was also a much gentler, kinder man beginning to emerge.

"Mr. Darcy, I think it is time that we put that unfortunate episode in the past where it belongs. We have to find Georgiana," she said.

Mr. Darcy's dark eyes looked at her intently and for some reason Elizabeth felt her heart flutter. "Miss Bennet, I am luck you are so forgiving and I thank you greatly."

Elizabeth continued to eat. She wondered whether to tell him that she had never said she forgave him, but decided against it. The anger she had once felt was dissipating and nothing was to be gained by continuing to talk about it. It was a moment in time that had gone and now needed to be consigned to the past.