That night, Hermione laid in her bed thinking about how much of a whirlwind she was in. She loved Ron. She knew she did. She had always known. But how? She wondered how it was that she first came to realise she loved him. If anything, it was such a gradual process that began with touching, flirting, him being the only reasonable boy in the vicinity and then the whole Lavender thing.
She and Ron just formed out of a friendship and she hated to think of it, no other option?
After the war, after their kiss during the battle, they were in such a state, they had people coming from everywhere and Hermione latched onto Ron for comfort. She knew that now. But the love that formed out of it, well, that was real. It was definitely real.
It was much different to what she had with Malfoy. He made her feel good, physically, he made her happy, emotionally. Everything about him made her feel nothing but positive. Her stomach fluttered when she was around him and she couldn't think straight when he was near her. Every moment of her day now was filled with ideas about what she wanted to do with him and not all of them were sexual. After his birthday lunch, she had so many ideas about going away with him, Merlin, even spending the night with him.
It was now that she realised what she hadn't known before.
She loved him. She really was well and truly in love with him.
The lust was there, for sure. She craved his hands on her body like nothing else, but it was so much more than that now. She craved his mind, his intellect, his wit. She wanted to talk to him, to be around him. He was everything that she wanted in a partner.
Except… He wasn't hers. And she wasn't his. And that night, she cried herself to sleep upon the realisation that she had gotten herself into something that was potentially going to get very very tricky.
A few days later, after trying her hardest to stay away from him, she was preparing Rose for bed when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She sat on the floor while Rose splashed in the bath, and opened her phone.
DM – It's been a while.
HG – A few days
DM – How are you
HG – I'm fine. You?
DM – About the same.
HG – Work has been keeping me busy and Rose is getting her two-year-old molars early.
DM – Of course.
HG – I'm also avoiding you
DM – Ahh, there it is
HG – there what is?
DM – the truth
HG – That not the whole truth.
DM – what is the whole truth?
HG – I'm afraid that if I tell you, I can't take it back
DM – try me
HG – I had a good time at lunch
DM – that wasn't so hard
HG – that's not it Malfoy
DM – so, tell me
HG – I've been thinking too much lately
DM – ahh there it is. That brain of yours
HG – Shut up Malfoy I'm trying to build up to it
DM – Like a band aid Granger, just rip it off.
HG – how do you know what a band aid is?
DM – what is it that that incredible brain of yours is overthinking?
HG – You
DM – We've established that
HG – More to the point, how I'm feeling
DM – Figured as much
HG – Malfoy
DM – just stop Granger
HG – what do you mean?
DM – stop beating yourself up about it
HG – you don't know what I'm going to say
DM – Its either you are ending this or you're declaring your eternal undying love for me
HG – Is it that obvious?
DM – I knew the time would come eventually
HG – You knew, did you?
DM – Well, it had to, didn't it? We couldn't keep this up forever
HG – What are you talking about?
DM – You're done
HG – No I'm not
DM – So…?
DM – Malfoy, I am telling you that I am in love with you. I can't stop thinking about you, my heart is beating 100 miles an hour and almost as if I don't want it to stop.
His reply wasn't instant like the others, and she felt like perhaps this declaration was a very bad idea. She took a fluffy towel and helped Rose out of the bath, carrying her into her own little room and setting her on the floor.
She got her phone and opened it, seeing no reply still. She dressed Rose in her pyjamas and sat on the comfy chair ready to brush her crazy ginger curls when her phone buzzed.
"Sweetheart, just play for a minute" she said.
DM – I'm glad you said that
HG – You are? I thought that hesitation meant you were running for the hills.
DM – Salazar no Granger. I am in love with you too.
Hermione's eyes filled with tears at this. Here she was, living in the house of her fiancé, who she knew she loved, texting with someone who her heart absolutely sung for. This was more than lust. She had spent the last few days knowing that. Trying to un-know it. Desperate to not feel this way. The sex in the beginning, she had put down to research. She could easily have told Ron that she was receiving from Malfoy what she was lacking with him. But now? Now she had fallen in love. They had fallen in love with each other.
HG – What do we do about it then? I've been avoiding you
DM – There isn't much we can do now, is there?
HG – Just keep up this… affair?
DM – If you're up for it. Until you can decide whether you want to leave him
HG – I don't know if I can. We have a child.
DM – I understand that. Well, the option's there Granger
HG – The option? To leave him and be with you?
DM – Yes
HG – you're married
DM – I'm leaving her
HG – what?
DM – Well, I left her. Tonight
HG – Don't leave her on my account Malfoy, we don't even know what we're doing with each other.
DM – Don't be silly Granger, I've been trying to leave her forever.
HG – What are you going to do? Where have you gone?
DM – For now I'm at Theos
HG – She won't take this laying down, you know that?
DM – I'm prepared for a fight. She can keep the castle, all my money has been tied up in my father's vaults so she can't claim any of it. Granger, I'm done with her.
HG – No, I mean… She won't let you walk away from this. You're like a possession to her. You are her arm candy.
DM – She was pretty ok about it
HG – I know women. I know women like her. Just wait.
DM – We'll see shall we?
HG – We will
DM – What are you doing now?
HG – I was actually getting Rose ready for bed. Now she's playing and messing up her room
DM – So… you need to take care of that?
HG – I do
DM – I'd like to meet her some day
HG – That's a laugh Malfoy. Trust me, you don't. She has Ron's hair colour, but my curls, she has my skin colour and his freckles.
DM – If she's anything like you I'll love her no matter what
HG – That's sweet Malfoy
DM – Well I mean it. I have nothing tying me down. I am free to love whomever I wish
HG – And I'm not.
DM – That may change
HG – I still love Ron
DM – I know this
HG – I wish I didn't
DM – its ok. Go take care of your daughter and I'll see you at work
HG – ok. Good night.
DM – Good night Granger
Hermione put her phone in her pocket after carefully deleting all the messages to and from Malfoy. It had become like second nature to her now.
She did Rose's hair and read her a story before tucking her safely into bed.
Once the toddler was asleep, she crept out of her room and downstairs to the kitchen.
The night transpired like any other night, she made hot chocolate, sat by the fire, read a book then went to bed.
AN - This is the hardest thing for Hermione. She loves Ron. She knows she does, but there's this intense, crazy, whirlwind love that she has now found herself caught up in with Malfoy. And now that he's single, all she needs to do is leave Ron, right?