The weeks ahead at the office were difficult for Hermione. She had asked her assistant Hilary to attend the DCRMC meetings on her behalf and would avoid inter-departmental meetings at all costs. She had successfully avoided Malfoy for a month.
She had tried her hardest to make life with Ron work and somehow, it had been. She had successfully gotten him to attempt foreplay and their sex life was now much better.
Hermione had made the effort to be mortifyingly honest with Ron about so many things, George and Malfoy excluded and following on from that, they were stronger than ever as a couple. Ron had also, on more than one occasion, made Hermione cry out into her pillow as he reluctantly went down on her. A first for them both.
Hermione thought that perhaps, the romance she had with Malfoy was what she needed to boost her real relationship with Ron. If she put as much effort into Ron as she had with Malfoy, then maybe they could be happy together afterall. She hoped. She really hoped and begged to Merlin for it to be so.
It was late in November before she came face to face with Malfoy at work. It was so professional, so cordial. Hilary never let on that she ever knew something was going on but after this intense meeting where the DMLE refused to support a motion that Malfoy was putting forward and Hermione was the one who had to argue it, Hilary sat in her office with her.
"I haven't wanted to say anything, you know, its not really my business" she started.
Hermione looked at her, red in the face, trying to calm herself.
"I know about you and Malfoy. Well, I guessed" she said.
"I… I don't know what you're talking about" Hermione said, panic rising in her.
"I know that you two were seeing each other" she confirmed.
Hermione swallowed. Her throat was suddenly dryer than the Sahara desert.
"Well… ahem… you'd obviously know how absurd that sounds. Me and Malfoy? Come on Hilary" she said.
"Well, what I'm saying, is that I saw how hard its been for you here in the last few weeks and that intensity between you two then? Merlin, he hurt you, didn't he?" she asked.
Hermione looked quizzically at her. She knew things that she shouldn't. She had information that could end everything for her. Her job, her career, her life, her relationship. Everything. This woman could bring her whole life crashing down around her and after everything, after all that, she'd be left standing alone with nothing.
"I don't know what you think you know, or how you think you know it but I can assure you, you're mistaken. And you ought to know they type of damage that could be caused by a scandal like this" Hermione said.
"You forgot silencing charms a few times. I know. There's also no way you would have to meet with the head of DCRMC as often has you had been. And now to suddenly stop? And you're sending me to the meetings? The way his face drops when I walk in and not you… Its obvious" she said, leaning back and crossing her legs in front of her.
"Why haven't you said anything?" Hermione asked, admitting that clearly she must know.
"I didn't want to embarrass you or make you feel worried that I might say something to someone" she said.
"And now?" Hermione asked.
"You have no one to talk to about this Hermione. I can be here for you. Tell me, I'm a good listener and I wont tell anybody" she said.
"How can I be so sure?" she asked breathlessly as tears filled her eyes.
"You cant. Just trust me" she said.
After that, Hermione let the walls come down and broke down to her assistant, now her friend. She told her everything, from start to finish. Every last detail.
It was almost home time before she finished.
"I don't know about you, but what it looks like to me is that you miss his friendship more than anything" Hilary finally said.
"Of course I do. But every time, it turns into something more. I cant go back there. I cant" she said.
"Try. You didn't really try too hard before" Hilary said.
"I just blasted him in front of everybody" she said.
"Did it feel good?" Hilary asked
"No, it was horrible" she replied.
"Just like old times. Just as one would expect Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy to be" she said with a wink.
Hermione wasn't sure what to do from here. Hilary was right, she did miss him for his friendship, but she knew herself that if she opened herself back up to him for friendship, she'd be allowing that part of her back. The part that craved him, no matter what she did to prevent it. She had been drawn to him. Then again, she thought, as she bid farewell to her new friend, her new confidant and left the office, at that last embrace, there was nothing left. The spark had left them, so perhaps she could be his friend.
It was something to think about.
Christmas came and went with spectacular celebrations. Rose was spoilt as were the other Weasley grandchildren. Victoire had begun to finally shop signs of accidental magic, the first being a straightening charm for her hair when the cold frosty air had frizzed up her blonde locks.
It was met with resounding cheers across the family as she stared into the mirror in both horror and glee at her own abilities.
Hermione felt at ease in her life. She had gone back to meetings with Malfoy and even offered a kind smile every now and then, which he eagerly returned.
New Years eve brought with it a party for all the Weasleys. The children were cared for at Harry and Ginny's house by the two older Weasleys, who were self-proclaimed 'too old to party', and Hermione was happily drinking, dancing and spending time with some of her favourite people.
A little before midnight, just before they were getting ready to let off some of George's best fireworks, Hermione found Ron, bend over the toilet, having drunk way too much.
"Ron you need to go to bed" she said soothingly.
"No way, its new years eve, I need to see it out" he said, retching into the bowl.
"There's always next year" she suggested.
"All our friends are here, I cant" he said, pulling away from her as she tried to help him up.
"Come on Ron, you have vomit all over your shirt. At least go change" she said.
"Don't tell me what to fucken do Hermione" he spat, causing Hermione to flinch back. He hadn't spoken to her like this in weeks. "Oh what? You're upset now? Ron is mean, wa wa wa" he mocked.
"What's your problem?" she asked, getting up from the floor where she had been kneeling beside him.
"You. You're so fucking… You're always at me Hermione. Leave me alone sometimes for fucks sake" he said, pushing himself up off the floor and making his way up the stairs to their part of the house.
She took three shots of firewhisly and downed them all at once, hoping to take the edge off the annoyance she was feeling so she could go back to having fun.
Unfortunately, as alcohol has a tendency to do, it worked the opposite. She found herself standing on the outskirts of a really great looking party, shortly before midnight. She had become invisible.
She collected a few drinks and walked away from the party, towards the orchid, purposely having her phone in her pocket.
As soon as she was out of earshot and view of everyone else, she took out her phone and scrolled to the one name that her logical brain was screaming at her to avoid. All she wanted to do was talk to him. Tell him she forgave him. Beg him to be her friend. It was times like this, when things with Ron were bad that she thought she could have remained friends with Malfoy. Just stop the sex. Easy, right?
She pressed the green 'dial' button on his name and put the phone to her ear as she heard the ringing on the other end.
It rang and it rang and eventually, it stopped. She held her breath, waiting for someone to speak before his voice message service clicked over.
"You've called Draco, please leave a message and I will return your call".
All she wanted was to hear his voice, to know that they could be friends. That he could still be something in her life. And here she was, in the middle of an orchid, with three bottles of wine in a bag slinging off the crook of her arm while she stared into the night and thought about what to say to his voice message
She hung up after a few seconds, having not really prepared herself to talk to a computer.
There were so many things she wanted to say to him.
'I forgive you'
'I still love you, as a friend'
'I need you in my life'
As she went to dial his number again, fireworks lit up the sky in the shape of a countdown. She watched as the colourful sparks morphed from 10 counting down, eventually getting to 1 before lighting up the sky above the entire property.
It was a new year.
She pressed dial and put her phone to her ear, met with a busy signal. A dozen times she tried the same thing, only to be met with a busy signal each time.
Drink in hand, she stood there, alone. She wondered how she had gotten herself to this point. Her friends were too busy to care that she wasn't with them. Her supposed fiancé had probably passed out by now after being horrible to her. Her secret lover wasn't answering the phone.
She cried.
She was nothing. She had nothing. She was empty.
The emptier Hermione felt in the following weeks, the more Ron preyed on her weakness. She dragged herself to work every day and afterwards, if she was more than 5 minutes late coming home, Ron would take her to their wing of the Burrow and question her relentlessly.
She laid down for Ron every night and allowed him to have sex with her. There were no more orgasms for her. Ron had simply stopped trying. She knew that there was no way she'd ever feel the way that Malfoy had made her feel in the past so she stopped trying.
She had resigned herself to this life, to be treated like this, to this unsatisfied life as he punishment for everything she had done.
Ron accompanied Hermione to another ministry event to ensure everyone knew they were still strong together and made a great effort at being lovely to her in front of the important people. He was now an expert in it. Having lived with his parents, he was nice in front of them but could be cruel as hell at times, when they were alone.
Hermione's sense of self-esteem was at an all time low, yet, for some reason, she put on a nice dress and styled her hair for the event, brushing off Ron's question about who she was trying to impress.
To Hermione's horror, the arranged seating had placed her directly beside Malfoy. In the very. Next. Seat.
She had been successful in ensuring civility with him whilst at work but now it was like the universe was playing a cruel trick on her.
"Weasley" came Malfoy's voice as they arrived upon their table. She had walked to their seat almost automatically, not wanting to, perhaps not able to look at him. She stood staring at her feet as the pair exchanged odd pleasantries. They shook hands before Ron sat down and Hermione frowned as she pulled out her chair and sat down.
She took a piece of bread from the basket in the middle of the table and buttered it eagerly, trying to avoid looking at every single person around her. In the corner of her eye, she saw Hilary across the table, who had become like her rock in the recent weeks. She knew everything. She knew about Ron, she knew about Malfoy. She knew it all. Hilary was mortified to see Hermione wedged between the two men as she was.
"Sorry Ron, do you mind if I borrow Hermione for a minute. It's a work thing" Hilary said.
"Sure" Ron said with a shrug.
Hermione stood too quickly, almost making her chair topple backwards as she did, resulting in Malfoy turning and looking in her direction as she caught it and tucked it back in before apologising to the table for the momentary lapse in ability to function.
"You doing ok? You look like someone just killed your kneazle" Hilary said, handing Hermione a tiny phial of clear liquid. "Its calming draught" she said quickly, looking around.
"This is great. Seated between my asshole fiancé and the man who consistently lies to me, but somehow I can't… seem… to… shut… him… out" she hit herself in the forehead with the heel of her palm between each word.
"Well, that's one way to do it" Hilary said, taking the now empty phial from Hermione.
"Thank you, the draught is already starting to work" Hermione said when she felt calmness begin to wash over her.
"Now, are you or are you not Hermione Sodding Granger?" Hilary asked.
"I am" she said meekly.
"Now, square your shoulders, put a smile on your face and act like her. Or people will start talking" Hilary said.
"Am I really that bad?" she asked.
"You're weak Granger. And I say that as one of your now, closest friends" Hilary said.
"Ron is just so…" she began.
"Forget Ron. If he was that bad, you'd leave him" Hilary said in a hurried whisper as they walked back to the table.
"The timing…" Hermione began.
"Will never be right" she finished.
"I'm probably just not ready then" she said, looking at the back of the red and brown heads between whom her chair was located.
"Thanks Hermione, I'll find those files for you to look over on Monday" Hilary said loudly as they returned to the table.
Hermione thought about Hilary's words. She was weak. She knew it. She had thought that perhaps Malfoy's lies and his betrayal had made her so, but it wasn't that. Not even close. In fact, he had probably caused a temporary halt to her weakness at times.
She remembered the last time she felt strong, like herself, besides during her involvement with Malfoy. It was so long ago that she barely recognised what her life was back then. She was a powerhouse of a woman, running the DCRMC after pulling it out of the depths of no where. Before Rose, before Ron stepped up his game of control and manipulation.
She decided, for tonight anyway, to put an end to this sulking sad person she had become and be the Hermione Granger she remembered being. She was fun, once.
She took her wine goblet from the table in front of her and took a large few gulps, looking around as she wiped her chin from her over-eagerness. Great start, Hermione, she told herself. No one had noticed so she felt ok, then chastised herself for chastising herself.
"So, Malfoy, your wife? Is she ill?" Hermione asked politely, as she turned to an equally quiet Malfoy.
"Unfortunately, yes" he said, turning to face her. His face looked, momentarily as downtrodden as hers had only minutes ago.
"Oh how sad. I was looking forward to catching up. Please send her my best wishes" she said, turning back to Ron, who seemed deep in conversation about Quidditch with Harry across the table.
Hermione stared at the centrepiece that stood elegantly in the middle of the round table and contemplated her next move.
"How are things at the DMLC?" Malfoy asked her. "I hear you've been quite busy?" He added.
"Yes, quite busy. The work is really building there" she said. "How was your new year? We haven't spoke in a long time" she said.
"It was fine actually. Had a small gathering of some old friends and made an event of it" he said. "How about you?" he asked, ever polite in his tone. She wanted to slap him for it. He never spoke like that to her. Ever.
"It was great actually. Surrounded by family and friends…" tried drunkenly calling you but you didn't answer… "Couldn't have asked for more" she said, holding back what she really had done that night.
"Well, seems like we both had a great night then" he said.
"Yes, it seems like it" she said, looking at him in silence for a moment too long.
She swore he was trying to convey something. Her missed calls would most definitely have registered on his phone, yet, he didn't call her back that night, or the next morning.
They continued in polite conversation about work for a while longer before Hermione couldn't stand it any longer. The false politeness he was exuding, the one she knew he reserved for people he didn't quite know how to communicate with, whether is was their air of authority or their general attitude and tone, he maintained this, almost, pure-blood civility about him that she hated.
Although, when he looked at her, she saw in his eyes the things she once knew about him. His personality, his passion, the heat that radiated off his skin. She shook herself out of that reverie before it could lead her down a path she had struggled to get off for months and excused herself.
She made her way around the room, greeting people, shaking hands with bosses who stared at her boobs rather than her face, but continued to smile as though it were not happening. Anything to get her away from Ron who was steadily becoming more drunk by the minute as he was passionately discussing the recent quidditch scores with fellow, equally as passionate quidditch fans. But also to get away from Malfoy, who she missed just talking to. As friends.
She found herself back in a place that was all too familiar. The conversation with Malfoy tonight had reminded her of the last time she avoided him, before wanting to build a friendship… before it ultimately led to the rendezvous at her birthday. She couldn't handle another affair with him, but she so desperately missed the old Malfoy. The one who would sit with her in her office at lunch in their underwear and make fun of everyone on the atrium level below the window.
She wondered if she could, for real this time, be his friend. Just his friend. She had no romantic feelings toward him at all currently, so she hoped that they wouldn't resurface if they were to spend time together.
She saw Malfoy at the bar so she approached him from behind and tapped him on the shoulder. He had just been handed a drink from the bartender.
"How's your night?" she asked, as he gestured to the bartender for a second drink and handing her the one he was just given. It was something Ron wouldn't have done. Not even as a friend.
"It's the worst one of these yet. I'm only here because we heads had to be here all night. Otherwise I'd be anywhere else" he said.
"And miss chatting to an old friend?" she asked, smiling at him. She thought she must be a little more than tipsy to be acting this way towards him.
"An old friend? Do you see any of those around here?" he asked, looking around animatedly, with a smile.
"I'm offended" she said as they took a few steps away from the bar and stood side by side, an appropriate distance apart, watching the crowd.
"I don't class you as an old friend Granger" he said.
"What then? An ex? We weren't…." she began.
"Merlin… No, Granger, I think of you as a current friend" he said, rolling his eyes.
"Oh" she said, sipping her drink in embarrassment.
"I was hoping that we could, you know… Hang out again. Like we used to. Without the shagging of course" he said.
"Of course" she said frowning into her drink. "That would be nice. I've missed having someone to laugh with Malfoy" she said.
"You don't laugh with Hilary?" he asked, looking to the table where she sat talking with people they worked with.
"Mostly I cry… Its mortifying really, but she understands me" she said.
"You… you cry?" he asked, turning his whole body towards her.
"Well, I don't mean to. But I have a lot on my mind these days" she said.
"Things with Weasley?" he asked.
"Merlin Malfoy, I'm not going to bother you with the intricacies of my relationship. Tell me, how is your wife? Really?" she asked, trying hard to hide the sarcasm in her voice.
"Still very much the same" he said.
"But still very much living in your marital home? Sharing your marital bed?" she asked.
"Quite so, yes" he answered quietly.
"Well you know what they say…" she said.
"No, I don't, please, oh wisest of relationship experts, please tell me" he said.
"Well, I don't actually know what they say but you brought it on yourself" she said.
"Hmm, yes, it seems I did" he said.
"Seems? Malfoy, I hadn't hoped to get into this, because I really just want you in my life as my friend, but you had a choice and you chose her. End of story. You chose this life for yourself" she said.
"And as my friend, I appreciate your honesty. But its not that simple" he said.
"Well, as a friend, please, tell me how it's not that simple. You took her back, pretended you didn't and shattered my feelings and my plans all over the floor" she said quietly.
"Where the Greengrass family is involved, you don't get a say. One minute she's living at her mothers, the next, she's back in my bed and her mother is requesting, no, insisting, we give it another go. They don't see a relationship as through, until the divorce papers are signed, and the property is sold" he said.
"So, essentially what you're saying, is that you had no choice but to take her back and you lied to me about it because…?" she said.
"I am an idiot who thought I had it all under control?" he said.
"Well, that's sums that up" she said, with a smile.
"Too bad we didn't work out, hey Granger?" he asked.
"Yeah, it is" she said.
They stood in silence for a moment watching the crowd, Hermione thinking about what he had just said. She had been hurt by his lie but was his lie justified? Had he lied to protect her from something that he hadn't wanted? Had he made a plan? Did he have things underway? Had she found out about his lie and put an end to them prematurely?
She was about to ask him when Ron looked their way and stormed over.
"Hermione, I've been looking for you everywhere" he said, his words slurry.
"I've been making my way around the room" she said.
"And always manage to find your way to Malfoy" he said.
"Ron, don't be silly" she said.
"That's right, don't be silly Ron, I'm just always chatting to other men instead of standing beside my partner… You ought to wonder what people think of us Hermione" he said.
"Well, I hope its nothing close to the truth, Ronald" she spat.
He glared at her and took her by the arm, but she yanked it away.
"Don't" she said.
He made to grab her again, but this time, Malfoy interjected.
"You don't want to do that here mate" he said.
"Fuck off Malfoy I'm not your mate" he said.
"Well, I'm trying to help you. You're in a room with all of Hermione's work colleagues, about 20 aurors as well as the minster for magic himself. If you want a domestic abuse charge on you, by all means, keep going, but if you want your reputation and your dignity intact, don't fucking touch her" he said quietly.
Ron just looked to Malfoy then to Hermione before turning and leaving.
"I should go" she said to Malfoy as Ron was now half way to the door.
"I mean it, friends" he said. She smiled in return and nodded once before hurriedly making her way out the door after Ron.
He was waiting for her near the floo and as she approached, he pushed her away from him. She stumbled, but remained upright, shock, mixed with alcohol and pure rage coursed through her body.
She stepped towards him again, but before he could push her again, before the hand that he had balled at his sides came anywhere close to her, she slapped him. Hard.
"Don't" she spat, so close to his face that little droplets of spit landed on his nose and cheeks.
He went to raise his hand at her, but she shoved him hard against the wall.
"You want to hit me Ron? You want to hit the mother of your child? You are a coward. You're a fucking coward" she yelled, not bothering about who heard them. She stepped into the floo and pushed him away from her as he tried to enter with her. She called her parents house before being pulled through the grate and landing in the living room of her childhood home by herself.
Tonight was the first time he had attempted to physically hurt her. He had never pushed her, shoved her or hit her in the past and this was a sign that things were escalating. She needed him to know that she wouldn't take it. She'd accept just about everything else, but she would never ever allow a man to lay a hand on her in that way.
The more she thought about it though, the more she realised that perhaps, he had been doing so for years. Every time he had sex with her limp body, every time he insulted her before fucking her, every time he pulled her hair, every time she laid down, he was laying hands on her. He was laying his body on her against her will.
She had to leave. She couldn't stay with him unless he made some drastic changes.
AN - Can you feel it building? I CAN! Its coming!