The following day, Hermione floo'd to the burrow, eager to put an end to the toxicity in their relation once and for all.
She ignored greetings from the Weasleys who were eating breakfast as she stormed upstairs and entered the bedroom she shared with Ron.
Rose was just getting out of bed and ran to her mother, Hermione scooping her up as she did.
"Mummy, Nanna making pancakes" the two year old said.
"Well sweet, you better go get some before uncle George eats them all" she said.
"Yeah, yeah" she said, wriggling to get down.
Hermione let her down and she hurried out the door and down the stairs before Herimone threw a pillow at a sleeping Ron.
"Ouch, what the fuck Hermione" Ron yelled.
"Last night was it for me Ron. You don't treat me that way. You do not ever belittle me in front of work colleagues and you never ever put your hands on me in anger" she said from the foot of the bed where she stood. Ron simply looked at her, bleary eyed. "Do you understand? Tell me that you at least fucking acknowledge what I said" she yelled.
"Right, alright, I get it" he said.
"You need to stop drinking" she said.
"What the fuck. No" he said.
"Well, its me or alcohol. You pick" she said.
"What are you going to do? Leave? You can't go anywhere Hermione. Your parents place is uninhabitable. Or did you forget the wards we both put up?" he asked.
She almost fell over herself at how stupid she had become. She had completely forgotten that she had placed wards on her parents house that prevented anyone from staying there for more than one night in a week. It had been their arrangement so that they wouldn't just run away when things got tough. Also, to prevent squatters from living there.
"And now I guess you're remembering that the only person who can dismantle the wards is the one who placed them. So that means, I'll have to remove my part" he said.
"Our house is still there, I can live in it" she said, hands on hips.
"No chance. I sold it" he said.
"You what? How could you sell it?" she asked.
"It was in my name. I bought it, remember?" he said.
She did. It was one of the things that she thought was a great gift in the beginning of their relationship. He had blindfolded her and taken her to this beautiful little suburb and shown her this amazing house he had bought for them to live in. She had been on cloud nine that day. He loved her so much that he bought her a house. And she thought nothing of it.
Now, however… now she knew what his plan had been all along. He had her trapped. No where to go. No where to run to.
"I have friends. If you mess up Ron, I'll leave. And I'll take Rose with me" she said.
He just smirked at her and she knew he had her caught.
Work was much better now that she had returned to the routine of attending meetings and having lunch with Malfoy. The difference now was that they ate with her door open and Hilary would often join.
Malfoy didn't care that Hilary knew all about their history. He was happy that she had someone to talk to about the things that she couldn't share with anyone else.
At home, Ron, in fact, had slowed down on his drinking. He barely spoke to Hermione, which was ok by her. He spent his time at work or in the garage with George and Arthur, where Hermione spent her time learning new household spells and meals from Molly.
Hermione would lay beside Ron at night, feeling nothing but repulsion. She couldn't touch him without feeling like she was touching a stranger. She allowed him to have sex with her still, to avoid arguments, but to her, it was not a romantic thing anymore. Sex with Ron was that task that you put off till last and do it quickly to get it over and done with. You don't enjoy doing it, but you do it because it has to be done.
She knew she didn't have to have sex with him. She knew that, as a woman, she could say no. Perhaps she should have? Perhaps she should have left him as soon as she realised how much she detested him. But now… now she was trapped. She had no where to go.
She didn't tell Malfoy just how badly things with Ron now were. She didn't want him to try and save her or to open a door that she couldn't stand to have opened again, knowing that she wouldn't be able to close it if or when she became hurt again. She had pulled herself out of the depths of depression, dragged herself away from the temptation f ending her life. She was more herself now than ever before, despite feeling like a nobody and a nothing when she was at home.
But, ultimately, as time went on, and as Hermione became more distant from Ron, she pulled closer to Malfoy. Lunch with him was a daily thing and she didn't even attempt to hide it from anyone. Afterall, they were not doing anything wrong. They initially stayed away from discussions about her life, but on this occasion, as they sat by the window in her office eating bad Chinese food, she told Malfoy everything, and broke down, telling him lost she was. How badly she wanted to leave him, but had no where to go.
Malfoy then did the one thing that she had hoed he wouldn't. She had wondered what it would be like if he did it, she had thought about it on and off for weeks. He put his arm around her in comfort as tears fell from her eyes and she felt it.
The spark. The connection. It was back in full force and then some. As he held her, stroking her back comforting her, telling her things would be ok, she took in his cologne, the feel of the soft silken tie beneath her cheek, which she had now stained with her tears. It was all so familiar, so comforting, so Malfoy. Her Malfoy.
This is what she needed. This is what her life had been missing all these months. His touch. His caress. It felt so unbelievably good to rest her head against his chest (had he been working out?) and have his hand in her hair. She had been craving this for so long and didn't even realise.
When she pulled away, she wiped her face with a tissue and turned away from him. She had fallen for him again, in an instant. In the worst possible time. In the worst possible way. They were supposed to be friends. They were not supposed to do this, to find comfort in the arms of the other. To spill the darkest secrets of their relationships to each other.
They had declared that, early on, after the last ministry event when they agreed to be friends again, that their relationships were out of bounds. Yet, she had messed up. She told him all about her life, she had allowed herself to be comforted by him. She had allowed herself to fall apart and had come to realise that she still loved him. If she got hurt now, it would be all her fault.
She would have no one to blame but herself.
That week, with Ron in his element, Hermione realised enough was enough. She had to make him see just how serious she was.
On Friday morning, she packed a bag for herself and Rose and stood at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for him to come down for work.
"What's all this?" he asked.
"Rose and I are going away for a week or so. To make you see that I'm serious Ron. I can't live like this. In a loveless relationship" she said.
"Who will look after Rose?" Ron asked.
"I have enrolled her in day care at the ministry" she said.
"What about mum? She'll have a fit" he said.
"She'll understand" she said, hoping it was true. The Weasley's didn't believe in day care.
"So where are you going to stay?" he asked.
"At a friends house" she said, not wanting to tell him that she was staying with his sister and Harry.
Ron just looked to her and to their luggage before shrugging and walking directly out the door. He didn't even try and stop her.
She collected Rose, apologised to Molly, who was shocked beyond belief, and entered the floo. Rose had now become so accustomed to it, that she barely flinched when the green flames took them away and spat them out at Grimmauld Place.
Ginny had agreed to care for Rose for the day while Hermione enrolled her in day care. The truth was, she hadn't planned anything till the night before, and showing up at the Potters at 8am with their luggage had been a surprise for everyone.
Work was slow. At lunch, she apologised to Malfoy for her breakdown and, despite her heart beating incredibly fast and begging her to run into his arms, she declared their embrace a mistake and begged him to forget. She had to give her relationship this opportunity to breathe, without any outside influence.
When she arrived at Grimmauld place, she was happy to see that Ginny greeted her at the floo with a goblet of wine.
"Rose has been an angel all day" Ginny said as the women made their way to the kitchen where Ginny had been preparing dinner.
"Let me help" Hermione said, attempting to peel some carrots.
"Its fine, I do all this magically Hermione" she said.
"Sometimes, I like to do it by hand. Its cathartic" she said.
"You know what else is cathartic? Talking to your best friend" Ginny said, an eyebrow raised.
"Gin, you know Ron and I have been going through things for a long time. This shouldn't be a surprise to anybody" Hermione said.
"Thing have been great lately though, right?" she asked.
"Ron hides things from people. He likes to do all the fighting and berating private" she said.
Hermione spent the night telling Ginny some of the things she had been holding back from her friend for months. Nothing about Malfoy, but all the things she hadn't been wanting to tell her simply because she was Ron's sister. She had somehow allowed herself to forget that this was her best friend.
Ginny was mostly sympathetic. Of course, she had her fair share of blame, which Ginny pointed out and Hermione accepted. Overall, Ginny had urged Hermione to stay with them for a few days and go back to him. Give him the opportunity to change.
Which she did.
Hermione stayed with the Potters till mid-week before thanking them, packing, and returning to the Burrow.
Ron seemed to have come to his senses somehow, because when she arrived home, he apologised and begged her to forgive him. He promised her he would change, promised he'd stop drinking. Promised he'd never hurt her, push her, hit her or even think about hurting her, ever again.
He promised to take her out to dinner, he promised her date nights, he promised to make her feel good in the bedroom again and for a while, he really tried.
They went to diner on Friday nights, which they dubbed their new date night
. On Valentine's day, he took her to a nice place that served the most incredible food, but to Hermione, it felt like too little too late.
She loved Ron. Merlin, how she loved him. She would always love him but the more he tried, the more apathetic she felt. The more he tried, the more Hermione realised it wasn't enough. The more that Ron tried, and put so much effort into just being, what Hermione felt was a regular partner, the more she realised how much effort it was taking him and the more she realised it would only be temporary.
And within a few weeks, he had shown that to her.
His drinking returned at full force and he had started talking down to her again. She was arriving home later than usual, having kept Rose in day care, which meant she had to collect her after she finished work, which made her later than usual.
Ron urged her to finish work earlier so she could be home before him. So she could help his mum have dinner ready, so she could have their room sufficiently tidy and their washing clean. So she could be the housewife he had always wanted her to be. The one she had tried to be, for years.
It was all for nothing. The apologies, the begging, the date nights, even the sex, which he had tried really hard at. It was all for nothing, as now, he was back to his old self and she had finally realised they both wanted different things.