AN: Hello all you lovely Calzona fans :) I hope this finds you well and helps cheer up your day. June is my favorite month, what's not to love...it's summer, pride month, and my birth month! Unfortunately this is my busy week at work so not only will I be working my birthday but I also will not have much time for writing. I will post this chapter and try to get one more in before the end of the month though but I work straight through until the 30th so no promises. I have the next couple chapters basically written. I've had this part of the story written for months actually. I hope you are all in for a bit of a bumpy ride. Hopefully, you trust that everything has a purpose by now and won't get too upset with me.
As far as reviews go, you guys are so great. Some of you are really great for a confidence boost and are really too generous with your praises. I do enjoy reading them more than I ever thought I would. Having people actually reading what I've written is a new concept to me and I am always intrigued to see what you have to say. I have to say, there's maybe three or four of you who always are quick to criticize Arizona no matter what happens in the story. I find it both interesting and annoying to be honest but I have tough skin and not every character is going to be everyone's forte. Just something I've noticed with a few of the readers. Arizona isn't going anywhere and I hope that all of these characters grow and evolve throughout the story. It would be boring otherwise. Most of you, although nervous about the direction and possible consequences, have been supportive and I really, truly appreciate all of your positive and kind words.
I hope you are all staying safe and healthy. Take care of yourselves. Happy reading :)
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Arizona
"I don't know, Teddy. I hear what you're saying, I even agree with you but I just, I don't know what to do."
"Yes you do, Riz. You know exactly what to do."
"You think I should tell Callie, even though I promised her parents that I wouldn't?" Arizona asked, already knowing the answer. This had been Teddy's stance from the very beginning. Arizona had filled her in on the events that occurred between Callie's parents, herself, and Aria on that dock the day after they returned to Afghanistan. Teddy had been fuming and was insistent that the blonde tell Callie. They had this same argument every day for the past week on their afternoon runs. The two were now running in the mornings with their group, as usual, as well as once in the afternoons, both needing the extra bit of best friend time and stress relief. Callie spent her free time with Mark or Addie while the two blondes went for their second run, doing Arizona could only guess what. She had a sneaking suspicion that Addie and Callie were shopping online for all sorts of things when it was just the two of them. She tried not to think about or be jealous of whatever Callie did when she was hanging out with Mark.
Arizona had been busy worrying about Teddy, Tim, and Nick since their return. While they had all been on vacation, four soldiers in another unit had been injured by a roadside bomb, two having to be evacuated out to Germany for treatment, the other two sustaining milder injuries had been able to be treated here, though both were still off duty for the forseeable future. The week following their return had been hectic and stressful to say the least. The army leaders, which included three of the people that Arizona was closest to, were pulling double duty between the hospital and working extra patrols and perimeter checks. There was talk of pulling the doctors from the program early but with just six weeks left, the majority of the surgeons had voted to stay. Arizona had been one of the few to vote against staying, surprising everyone, especially those closest to her. She couldn't remove Teddy, Tim, or Nick from danger but she wanted Callie out of there, even if it meant Arizona would go to Malawi earlier which meant spending more time apart. The stress of potentially seeing someone she loved get injured or killed was adding so much stress to her already stressed mind and body that she had been unable to sleep peacefully all week and some days she couldn't even force herself to eat more than a few bites.
"Who is your loyalty to?" Teddy asked, answering Arizona's question with a question, causing the blonde to return from her thoughts. It took her a moment to remember what they had been talking about but when she did, her response required no thought.
"Callie, of course Callie. It's not about that though, Teddy. I just don't want to hurt Callie. You saw how happy she was when she thought her parents were coming around and beginning to accept her. I don't want her to find out that it was all a lie. Not when they changed their minds and are actually trying to accept her now. I just think it's best if I just let it go. It doesn't matter now. If they try anything else, I won't hesitate to tell her."
"I get it, I really do. And if that's what you decide, I will keep my mouth shut but I think Callie can tell there's something on your mind. You're not great at keeping this secret, the guilt is just seeping out of you, Arizona. I'm sure she sees it. And what if she does find out?"
"She will, eventually, at least I hope she does. I asked her parents to come clean, I hope they actually do. I'm giving them the chance to when we return but if they don't I will tell her before I leave for Malawi. If she finds out some other way before then, I just hope she can forgive me. I know she will be furious and I will probably have one hell of a Torres wrath coming but I hope after that, she is able to forgive me."
"I do not envy you if she does find out. She's going to kick your ass so hard."
"She's going to kick your ass too, Teds. All of us are getting our ass kicked for not telling her."
"Fuck, wait until she's back in the U.S. then. I have eight weeks of leave and then I am going to see if I can find a job somewhere as a cardiothoracic surgeon civilian. That will give Callie plenty of time to cool off before you return from Malawi in May. I can hide from her for eight weeks." Teddy joked.
"I wish I could return sooner than May but the foundation simply can't replace me before then. I called them as soon as we returned from Miami to request early release. They are sad to lose me but understand, thankfully. They could make me full-fill my entire contract and stay until at least August or all the way up until the following February. I think Callie is disappointed but also knows it could have been a much longer period of time."
"Do they have any ideas who they would like to replace you?"
"They have a few names in mind. My top choice is Lucy Fields but I put in a recommendation for Karev, he's my official nominee. I only don't want him to go because I think he could be my protege in Seattle."
"Karev? Really? Isn't he all caveman? I thought Lexie Grey would be your top choice."
"Oh, I'm not letting Lexie go either. But she has too many other areas of interest. Derek is trying to get her on the neuro train. I haven't counted her out yet but either way, Karev has something that you guys just don't see. He has what it takes to be a phenomenal peds surgeon."
"Whatever you say."
"I'm telling you, I'm on to something with him."
"I guess we will see."
"I guess so." Arizona replied as she hip checked Teddy. The two had finished their run prior to starting their conversation and had entered the cool down phase, walking a lap around the perimeter. Now that they were almost back to the barracks, Teddy placed a hand on Arizona's forearm and stopped her.
"Are you sure you're ok?"
"Yes. I mean I'm worried sick but I'm trying to be ok. I'll feel better when at least you and Callie are safe in February. I'll breathe much easier in May when Nick and Tim are both home as well."
"And you will be too. How much have you told mom?" Teddy asked. Arizona loved it when Teddy referred to her parents like this. She did it on occasion, more frequently in the past few years now that she was more settled as a Robbins. She really was part of their family and the big sister Arizona had always wanted.
"How much have you told her?"
"Touche." Teddy replied with a smirk. No one wanted to endure the wrath of the mama bear and no one wanted the Colonel's wrath for awakening the mama bear. It was an unspoken agreement. The Robbins kids didn't lie but they kept certain details to themselves for everyone's benefit.
"Are you going to the movie tomorrow night?"
"Yea. What about you and Callie?"
"I'd like to, if I can drag her to it. I think she was hoping for some alone time while everyone else is at the movie. Which, I am so not opposed to after seven days of nothing but platonic touching but it's Christmas movies and we won't be home for Christmas. I kind of want to just curl up and enjoy the movie with everyone."
"Well, Owen and I are talking again so I'm going to sit with him but I'll save you a seat."
"How is that going?"
"I don't honestly know. He's still Owen and I'm still me. I love him but I'm not sure that's enough. Maybe we missed our chance."
"Well, I am here for you, Teds. You know I just want you to be happy but if Owen hurts you again, I am going to kick him right in the nut sack." Arizona replied. Teddy threw her head back in laughter at the look on Arizona's face. She had done that very thing to a boy on the playground who had pulled one of Teddy's braids one too many times. She had been half the boy's size but that hadn't stopped her from kicking him square in the jewels directly after she had warned him she was going to do just that. "I'm serious, Teds."
"Oh, I know you are." Teddy replied, putting her arm around Arizona's shoulder and pulling her in to place a loud smooch on the side of her head.
"Good thing I already needed a shower, now I can wash off Teddy germs too." Arizona teased but she squeezed Teddy back before they parted ways to go take showers.
Callie
"I don't know what she's hiding, Mark, I just feel like she's hiding...something." Callie replied in a frustrated tone. She and Mark were sitting out in the cool breeze tossing stones across the dirt aimlessly.
"Have you confronted her?"
"No, but you have to admit, her voting to go home early is very un-Arizonalike."
"I agree. So what do you think it is?"
"I don't know, Mark." Callie replied, throwing a few stones a bit harder than she had previously been carelessly tossing them.
"Well, what makes you think she's hiding something?"
"She just changed so much from Boston to Miami. I know she was feeling insecure and she was worried about my parent's initial reaction but I just feel like there's more. And since we've been back in Afghanistan, she's been clingy."
"She's running with Teddy right now, Cal, I don't think that qualifies as clingy."
"I know, I don't mean like that. But when we are together, she always needs to be in physical contact with me and she is being overly affectionate. She was jealous in Miami, granted, she may have had reason to be. It's just so unlike Arizona. I am usually the jealous, clingy one. Not that I'm complaining because I am loving the cuddling and the extra 'I love yous' but I also know there is something up because of them."
"So, you think Arizona has some deep, dark secret she's keeping from you because she loves you and wants to be with you? What did you do to make her jealous in Miami?" Mark asked, arching an eyebrow as he took another rock and tossed it at the fence post.
"Well, when you put it that way it sounds silly but it's just this feeling that I have. Remember Miguel? I may have danced shamelessly and slightly provocatively with him at the club."
"Ok, well I can see why she might get upset about that, Cal. I mean she's human with feelings and those feelings include jealousy. What else?"
"We have been back for six days now and it's like Arizona is purposely avoiding being alone with me. I mean she's clingy and touchy-feely in public but when we're alone, it's like she's holding back. And I have needs, Mark, very persistent needs that haven't been met in seven very long days. Arizona is hot. I'm getting cranky because I need to get laid, Mark." Callie whined, laying her head on his shoulder.
"If you have an itch...I could help scratch it."
"You're bad, Mark."
"What? Tell me we weren't great fuck buddies."
"Mark Sloan, if you want to keep your tongue and your man parts, I suggest you never make a comment like that to my girlfriend again." The voice of the blonde said suddenly from behind them, causing them both to sit up straight. Mark hurriedly stood up, Callie a second behind him as he moved to stand behind her, slightly afraid of the piercing blue eyes glaring at him.
"Sorry, Blondie." Mark replied sheepishly.
"You should be. And Callie, why would Mark need to scratch an itch for you? Is there something you need that I'm not giving you?" Arizona asked, her tone said she was pissed off and while Callie knew that was true, she could also sense the insecurity there and she cursed herself for letting the conversation with Mark take this direction.
"I'm going to go find Addie." Mark said, excusing himself from the awkward conversation.
"Arizona…"
"No, don't do that, Callie. I know you think I'm overreacting but I put Nick in his place because he makes you uncomfortable. Even though I'm gay and he's like a brother to me and there is zero chance that I would ever sleep with him. I did that because your comfort means something to me. And don't get me started on Amelia. But when it comes to you and your exes there's a double standard and I just don't get it."
"Arizona, he was just joking, he's my best friend."
"Was he though? And what about Miguel? Was he just joking when he had his hands all over you on the dance floor?"
"This is jealousy, Arizona."
"Can you blame me?" Arizona asked, as she walked away.
"Arizona, wait!" Callie called, running after the blonde, she cursed herself for speaking those words. Of course Arizona was jealous, she would be too. She was right, she was jealous over Nick and Amelia and Arizona had done her best to form boundaries with them for her comfort. She needed to do the same for the blonde. As Arizona turned around to shout at the Latina some more, the bomb sirens went off. Wide brown eyes met worried blue, grabbing Arizona's hand, Callie set off at a run toward the shelter in the center of the base. They were nearly to the building when the ground beneath their feet shook at the same time a loud explosion could be heard nearby.
"That was close. Come on, we need to get inside the shelter." Arizona replied, pulling a now frozen Callie with her.
The two entered the building and climbed down the stairs into one of several underground rooms that were designated for this purpose. Arizona doubted highly that if a bomb was dropped on them that this would do anything to protect them but she kept those thoughts to herself as she held the hand of the frightened Latina. "It's going to be alright, Calliope. Come here, sit down."
Arizona pulled the Latina closer to her and sat her down along the concrete wall. Arizona grabbed a flashlight and radio from the shelf as well as the only helmet before she turned back to Callie to kneel in front of her. The Latina was practicing her breathing Arizona noticed and recognized it. It was something she herself did when her anxiety attacks hit. She placed her hands on Callie's knees to give her something to ground herself and spoke softly, "In and out, just like that, Cal. Just breathe, we're going to be okay, honey."
Arizona placed the helmet on Callie's head before she turned on the flashlight and sat down beside her. Somehow the two had ended up in a shelter alone which made Arizona both happy and nervous. She didn't like the idea of being crammed in a small space with a big group of people but she also felt secluded here. She turned on the walkie-talkie radio and turned it to the station she knew her brother would be turned to if he also had a walkie-talkie in his possession and signaled him with a series of beeps.
"Little Robin is that you?" Tim's voice asked.
"Sure is Big Rob. What's going on out there?"
"Where are you?"
"Cal, and I got to the shelter and somehow into an unoccupied bunker."
"Okay, stay put. The village closest to us was attacked. We're still waiting for word."
"Be careful Big Rob."
"You too Little Robin, over and out." Tim replied. Arizona smiled as she thought back to their childhood days when they had roamed around with walkie-talkies pretending to be in the war and under attack. They had a whole book full of code names and words. Nick hadn't been happy when Andi had given him the code name of Guppy and she, herself had been given the code name of Nebula thanks to Arizona. They had drawn names and each of them gotten to name another member of the group as an initiation into their secret club.
"That was kind of adorable, Little Robin." Callie said, looking up at Arizona for the first time since all of this started.
"Hey, baby, you alright?" Arizona asked, turning her attention back to Callie, their argument forgotten completely for the moment.
"I am. I feel safe with you." Callie replied.
"Good." Arizona replied with a smile before she leaned in and placed a tender kiss on full lips.
"Mmm, I've missed those lips and you really could take my mind off all this with those lips." Callie replied with a smirk. Arizona leaned in to deepen the kiss and just as Callie's hands began to roam, the walkie-talkie was alert with static.
"Little Robin do you copy?"
"Damn it." Callie cursed, causing Arizona to giggle.
"Sure do Teddy Bear." Arizona replied to Teddy's voice over the radio.
"The coast is clear. Time to get your scrawny butt out of the bunker." Teddy's voice was heard over the small device.
"Copy that, Little Robin over and out." Arizona said into the speaker.
"I assume you have done this before?" Callie asked as Arizona helped her stand up and removed the helmet from her head.
"We liked to play army as kids." Arizona replied with a smile.
"And your code name was Little Robin?"
"Ugh, yes, Tim got to pick it. We drew names and got to pick the person who's name you drew's code name. I wanted a cool name like Electra or Echo but Tim insisted I be Little Robin. Not much of a code name if you ask me." Arizona replied with a pout as if she were six again. Callie smiled. God she loved her.
"Arizona, I love you. And I am so sorry about Mark and Miguel. I know that my past with men and my parent's initial reaction has you feeling insecure. And I know my actions recently have not been helpful to make your place in my life feel secure but I am completely in love with you, Arizona. I don't want anyone else and I'm so sorry if I've made you feel otherwise."
"I love you too. Come on, let's go to bed." Arizona replied because she didn't know what to say. It wasn't okay so she didn't want to say that it was but she also didn't want to fight. Not with them being in a war zone and having the memory of the very real possibility of losing Callie from her life only a week ago. So she decided to let it go, for now.
The next day was Sunday, they had been back in Afghanistan for a full week now and it was the night before Christmas Eve. The base had set up a projector screen and was playing 'A Christmas Story' in the mess hall. Everyone was scattered about in various seating arrangements. Some sat on old chairs and sofas that had been carried in for the event while others sat on the floor out in front on blankets and mats spread out picnic style. Nick and Tim were sitting in some chairs off to one side of the couple. Teddy was sitting on a sofa cuddled up to Owen behind them while Callie sat with her back against the couch with Arizona between her legs, the blonde's head resting on Callie's belly. Callie ran her fingers through blonde locks while Arizona traced patterns on Callie's cloth covered thigh. Riggs had fixed up an old popcorn machine and sodas and licorice had been passed out. It wasn't Christmas at home but it was cozy and it felt good to be huddled together in the mess hall watching a movie for once instead of caring for bomb victims.
Arizona sighed contentedly and snuggled deeper into Callie's lap, making the Latina smile. She loved that the blonde was so comfortable and relaxed in her arms, it made her feel good knowing that she was one of the few people the blonde trusted enough to be vulnerable with. Callie leaned down and placed a kiss on top of soft curls causing Arizona to look up at her and smile. It melted her heart and she couldn't help but feel so lucky to have the blonde. In two days, they would celebrate their first Christmas together. They had decided that instead of exchanging gifts, they would buy gifts for the kids at the hospital, along with many of the other doctors. Callie had at first been opposed to not buying Arizona a gift, which she had done anyway without the blonde knowing, but the peds surgeon had been so animated and enthused about providing for the kids that Callie had reluctantly agreed on the condition that next Christmas Arizona could not set any limits to gift giving. They would travel to the hospital tomorrow and spend the morning in the children's ward before handing out the presents to the kids. Christmas day would be spent at the base. They would be allowed extended computer time with their families and then the army was hosting a concert put on by an army band. Following the concert, there would be a big Christmas feast, well as big as an army feast in Afghanistan could get but it sounded promising.
"I love you." Arizona whispered as she bent down and placed a kiss on Callie's belly sweetly next to where the blonde's head was resting. Callie had to admit, she enjoyed this side of Arizona greatly. Miami had been stressful for them and although it had ended on a happy note, she had sensed Arizona's hesitancy and insecurity. Since returning to Afghanistan, the blonde had been more affectionate and often wanted constant physical contact with Callie. Arizona was not one to shy away from physical contact but of the two of them, generally speaking, it was Callie who always needed more.
"I love you too." Callie replied as she ran her fingers through long curls. Arizona yawned and another contented sigh escaped her lips. "Your hair is getting long honey."
"Mmmm." Arizona responded, another yawn escaping her lips. Callie could see from the little bit of Arizona's face that was visible to her at this angle that her eyelids were fluttering with her effort to keep them open. It had been a long week for all of them but Arizona had run around from surgery to surgery, assisting with as many pediatric cases as she could. Apparently Christmas time was a hot time for illnesses, injuries, and births.
"Baby, let's get you to bed."
"Don't you want to finish the movie?"
"It's my dad's favorite Christmas movie, I've seen it a thousand times. I can rent it on my laptop and we can watch it tomorrow if you want."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive." Callie replied. Arizona stood and helped Callie up before the two quietly exited the mess hall and made their way to the barracks. During the week they almost always slept in their own bunks just because they were really too small for two people, but on the weekends, they would usually fall asleep together in Callie's bunk watching movies. Tonight, Callie was surprised when Arizona pulled her up to her own bunk and laid her head on Callie's chest.
"Sleep with me here tonight? I know we have to work in the morning but I just want to feel you." Arizona whispered. Callie could tell by the heaviness in her voice that she was already falling asleep.
"I'm right here, Arizona, of course I'm not going anywhere." Callie replied and she felt the blonde relax into her as she said those words. As much as she was enjoying this side of Arizona, she still couldn't help but feel there was something on the blonde's mind. Teddy had basically confirmed that in Miami but Callie had yet to get to the bottom of it. Callie's mind was full of questions as she closed her eyes with the blonde nuzzled into her chest, a pale arm wrapped tightly around her waist and a slender leg tucked between hers. I'll get to the bottom of this one way or another, was the last thought Callie had before she finally drifted off to sleep.
Christmas Eve on the children's ward was simply amazing. Callie's cheeks literally hurt from smiling so much. A little girl of about three with braids that Arizona had placed for the small girl sat in her lap playing with the baby doll that she had just unwrapped. The ortho surgeon watched Arizona from across the room playing a game of twister with several of the older children. Her smile matched the Latina's and her dimples popped as she threw her head back in laughter, having fallen while trying to maneuver her right hand through a mass of bodies. The children collapsed around her in laughter and it was the sweetest sound Callie had ever heard.
"Isn't my dolly pretty, Dr. Callie?" the little girl asked, pulling Callie's attention away from Arizona. Her big brown eyes looked up hopefully at the doctor as she waited for a response. The little girl had requested a baby with blonde hair and blue eyes like Dr. Arizona.
"She sure is, Cami, but not as pretty as you." Callie said, tapping the little girl on the nose and making her laugh. The little girl had come in the week before. She and her mother had been injured when a bomb hit their village. Her mom was pregnant and injured enough that she had required hospitalization and bed rest. Cami's injuries had been less severe, a broken wrist and a tiny little cut on her forehead that hadn't even required sutures. They had admitted her anyway to keep her with her mother, as was the case with many of the children that did have surviving parents.
"Can I go see mama today?"
"I think that can be arranged." Callie replied. She scooped the little girl up in her arms and made her way to the blonde who was at the moment in a very compromising position that was causing the brunette all sorts of thoughts that were inappropriate for their current environment as they were surrounded by children. Callie couldn't help but hum in appreciation at the sight though, "Mmmm."
Arizona turned to see Callie after hearing the moan escape her lips, the blonde's face was red from holding this position and trying not to squash any children beneath her. She didn't miss the way the ortho doc's eyes darkened at the sight of her butt high up in the air for her to ogle freely. Arizona smiled, "What can I do for you, Dr. Torres?"
Callie had to clear her throat. Arizona was playing with fire, she knew Callie was an ass girl and she definitely knew what it did to her when she called her "Dr. Torres." Callie cleared her throat once more and Arizona smirked at her, knowing she was the cause of Callie's sudden lack of vocabulary, "I'm going to take Little Miss here to see her mama for five minutes. I'll be back."
"Sure, Dr. Torres, I'll be right here ready for you when you get back." Arizona replied with a smile.
"I think maybe when I get back, I should give you a little check up after that fall you had, Dr. Robbins." Callie replied, thinking of how much fun it could be to play doctor with Arizona.
"If you're lucky." Arizona flirted back with a wink. Yep she was playing with fire. She and Callie had been unable to have any time for anything remotely intimate since returning from vacation. Their little shed was off limits with the increased security and while neither were completely against mild PDA, having sex in a room with thirteen other people that included Miranda Bailey was not something that either of them found appealing. They had more control than that, barely, but still, they had never crossed that line. Needless to say, Callie had been less than impressed with this dry spell. It made her moody and edgy. While Arizona had felt more affectionate and cuddly since returning to Afghanistan, Callie had become like a cat in heat. She didn't know why she was suddenly so turned on all the time, but everything the blonde did set her need on fire and she was ready to explode after eight days of nothing but cuddling and platonic touching.
After a fun-filled day with the kids and only a few surgeons having to perform surgery, the surgeons returned to base early in the afternoon for another round of Christmas movies in the mess hall, computer time with their families, and spending time together. Callie and Arizona joined Tim and Teddy for a skype call to Barbara and Daniel. And then they had been able to skype with Aria and Jared. Callie's parents were currently on their way home from a business trip in Texas so she would skype with them and her grandmothers tomorrow. By the time the two finished the calls, it was dinner time so they made their way to the mess hall, Arizona keeping her arm looped through Callie's as they walked. While they ate, Arizona's hand massaged small circles into the small of Callie's back before her fingers moved to her inner thigh, rubbing patterns into the fabric of her jeans. Her fingers moved higher up on her thigh and then would slowly come back down, only to repeat the process again. Just a few inches higher, that's all Callie needed. The Latina wasn't even sure that the blonde was aware that she was doing this, it had been something she had been doing the entire week but it was sending shock waves through the Latina, platonic or not. Knowing Arizona wasn't generally a clingy person alerted Callie that something was definitely up with the blonde but it also did things to her body and after more than a week, she could no longer ignore the desire. Once the blonde had swallowed her last bite of food, Callie grabbed her by the hand and pulled her out of the mess hall.
"Callie, the movie is going to start soon." Arizona protested.
"We won't miss much." Callie replied, not slowing her pace. She had no idea where they should go but then seeing the vehicles lined up outside, she pulled Arizona into the back of the nearest one. She remembered Tim telling her they were out of service until the day after Christmas so they could get a deep cleaning since they wouldn't be needed for the surgeons. Thus, they were left parked outside far enough away from the buildings that they would have privacy.
"Callie what are you…"Arizona began to ask but was cut off as Callie forced her tongue into her mouth. At the same time, she pushed the blonde down onto the seat and straddled the blonde's thighs without breaking their kiss. Within seconds, Callie had maneuvered her zipper and she pushed the pale hand she was holding into her underwear.
"I need you. Your hand on my thigh through dinner was driving me crazy and at the hospital today, you are lucky we were surrounded by kids. I wanted to just take you right there." Callie whispered into Arizona's ear.
"Ohhh." Arizona replied with a smirk as she took back control of her own hand and felt the wetness dripping from her girlfriend's core. She used her other hand to lift up Callie's shirt so she could sink her lips into the soft flesh of her breasts that spilled from her bra.
"No teasing, Arizona. I want it hard and fast." Callie replied, placing her hand over Arizona's when she started lightly rubbing up and down Callie's slit. Arizona was torn between wanting to tease the Latina and giving her exactly what she wanted. Her hesitancy, caused the Latina to moan in frustration and in a move Arizona didn't see coming, she pushed Arizona sideways on the row of seats and topped her. Callie pulled Arizona's hand from her pants and replaced it with her own as her other hand crept into Arizona's pants and underwear. She entered both herself and Arizona at the same time, taking the blonde by surprise. Callie meant business and it was turning her on immensely.
"Oh God, Callie." Arizona gasped. Callie was riding her own fingers against Arizona's thigh while the fingers of her right hand plunged in and out of the peds surgeon at an alarming rate. Arizona squeezed Callie's breasts with one hand while her other hand found Callie's wetness and began running circles over her bundle of nerves. Callie quickened her pace, thrusting hard against Arizona's thigh as she impaled herself with a third finger. She was on fire and she felt her abdomen tightening as her orgasm began building. Arizona's fingers working magic on her clit was going to be what sent her over the edge of a very powerful orgasm. She entered a third finger into Arizona, causing the blonde beneath her to squirm and gasp.
"I'm so close, Arizona. I'm going to come so hard." Callie whispered in a husky breath. Arizona brought her free hand down from the full breast she had been fondling and placed it on Callie's hip, helping her rock forward on her hand and against Arizona's thigh harder. Arizona's breath caught as the motion caused Callie's fingers to enter her more forcefully as well. She couldn't help but hiss at the pleasure mixed with the tiniest bit of pain as Callie rocked forward again with more force behind her powerful fingers, "Am I hurting you?"
"A little but I'm okay, don't stop. Come for me, Calliope." Arizona replied, forcing Callie's hips to thrust forcefully again while Arizona's other hand applied more pressure to the circles she was rubbing against Callie's clit.
"Oh fuuuck, Arizona!" Callie cried as she convulsed against the blonde, riding out her high as the blonde continued to writhe below her. Callie's lower half moved of its own accord as she rode out her orgasm against Arizona's thigh. As Callie came down from her high, she used her thumb to rub gentle circles over Arizona's clit and the blonde followed her over the edge as she curled her fingers with a silent scream before she convulsed around Callie's fingers and went limp below her.
"Wow." Was the only thing the blonde could manage. All intellectual thought had literally been fucked from her brain. She giggled as she thought that Callie had literally fucked her brains out.
"What's so funny? I just gave you an amazing orgasm and you're giggling?" Callie asked, pretending to be mad but the blonde's giggles were just too delicious to actually be angry.
"I'm sorry babe, I don't mean to laugh. It's just I couldn't think of words and then when I did, it was that you had literally fucked my brains out." Arizona replied, erupting into another fit of giggles as Callie's fingers attacked her sides. Arizona squirmed, trying to get away, "No, no, Callie, I'm sorry."
"Are you sure? You know, girls don't generally take laughing after sex as a good sign." Callie replied, halting her attack for a moment before going back in for more, causing the blonde to squirm and shriek.
"Really, Callie I'm sorry. The orgasm was amazing, baby. I owe you one." Arizona replied once the Latina showed mercy and she could breathe again. Arizona kissed Callie's nose and snuggled into her. "I really love you, you know."
"I know." Callie replied. She kissed the top of Arizona's head and took a deep breath. She tightened her arms around the blonde to prevent her from escaping. She knew this was going to be a talk Arizona would want to avoid but Callie needed to talk to her. "I love you too, baby. You know you can tell me anything right?"
"I do." Arizona replied. She looked up at Callie and smiled.
"Then will you tell me what's going on in that beautiful brain of yours?"
"What do you mean?"
"Arizona, you've been different. Not that I'm complaining or that it's a bad thing but it's just, you have been more affectionate and always wanting to be in physical contact with me. I love that, I really do but it's just not you. While you're affectionate, I'm usually the one that needs more contact."
"I don't know, Callie. Do you want me to stop?" Arizona asked, attempting to sit up but the Latina had anticipated this and held her in place.
"No, I don't. I really love it. But I do want you to tell me why the sudden change. What's bothering you, honey?"
"Ugh." Arizona sighed. She took in a deep breath. She could do this without lying or revealing too much. "When we were in Miami and we thought your parents weren't going to accept you, there was a moment, more than a moment, a period of time where I thought about what it would be like to lose you. I thought that might happen, that losing you was a possibility. I love you, Calliope and imagining my life without you really sucked. I guess I'm just feeling a little insecure still. And also, I don't want to take you for granted, I like being close to you. You make me feel safe and loved and cared for. I want to make you feel the same."
"Arizona, I'm not going anywhere. I never was, I'm not sure why you felt that was even a possibility. Please trust that, trust me and in the future, talk to me about these things. I've felt like there was something wrong, something you weren't talking to me about and it's been worrying me."
"I'm sorry, Callie. I do trust you, more than anyone." Arizona replied. She rubbed her nose against Callie's then brought their foreheads together. The couple stayed that way for a few more minutes before the Latina loosened her hold on Arizona.
"Is there anything else you need to tell me?" Callie asked. It wasn't that she didn't believe Arizona, she just felt like she was still holding something back.
"Callie…" Arizona replied and Callie knew that she was right.
"You don't have to tell me right now but I really hope that you will trust me enough to tell me soon. I love you, Arizona and I just want to be there for you."
"I do trust you enough, Callie. And I love you too. You are there for me. It's just something that I can't share."
"I don't understand."
"I know and I'm so sorry, Callie." Arizona replied. Callie could see the sincerity in her eyes and the fear that Callie was going to leave with that response and she wanted to. More than anything, she wanted to get up and go take a few moments to herself because knowing that the blonde was keeping something from her hurt, it hurt badly. But she could see that this was something Arizona was struggling with. Feeling torn between wanting space and wanting to keep her promise that she wasn't leaving, Callie stood and offered the blonde her hand. "Let's go watch the movie."
Arizona accepted Callie's hand with a sigh. She was always the one that had to convince the Latina to do these movie nights with everyone so she knew this was Callie's way of saying she needed space without hurting her by leaving. She hated this. She should just tell her the truth. Just as she was about to open her mouth to speak, the door opened. Both women turned to the intruder to see Riggs. "Hey, we're cleaning these trucks, what are you two doing in here?"
"Just needed to talk in private." Callie replied as Arizona blushed furiously. The two passed Riggs and ran to the mess hall. Arizona was in another fit of giggles and Callie couldn't help but release the anger she felt toward her for not sharing whatever secret she was keeping.
"We almost got busted having sex in the back of an army vehicle by an Army Captain." Arizona giggled, her nerves taking over and manifesting into an uncontrollable fit of giggles. Callie couldn't help but join in with her laughter. She pulled her close and pressed a kiss to the side of her blonde head. Arizona's giggles stopped and she looked up at Callie, "Are we okay?"
"We will be." Callie replied, echoing Arizona's words from less than two weeks before.
Arizona
"It's Christmas, sleeping beauty." Arizona whispered. She had her full weight on top of the Latina. She had let Callie sleep in as there were no scheduled activities for the day, meaning everyone else had been up and about for at least an hour. They had the barracks to themselves so Arizona planted a firm kiss to slightly parted plump lips.
"What time is it?" Callie asked, a grumpy moan escaping her as she tried to stretch but the blonde's weight limited her ability.
"It's ten in the morning."
"Mmm, come lay down with me." Callie demanded, pulling the blonde to her. Arizona giggled and kissed her once again.
"If I lay down with you then you won't get your presents." Arizona replied with a dimpled smile.
"Presents? I thought we weren't exchanging gifts, Arizona."
"Well, my parents sent presents for all of us with Teddy because my mom knew Timmy and I would peek. And I may have gotten you a present when you were in Miami and I was still in Boston."
"But we had already agreed on the no present rule, Arizona."
"You can punish me later, but I think you will enjoy this one and I will be forgiven." Arizona replied confidently, pecking the Latina one more time before she quickly made her way to the ladder. She had laid out a blanket on the floor between their bunks with their presents scattered across it. Callie had a small pile of gifts. One from Arizona's parents, Tim, Teddy, Nick, Aria, her own parents, a joint gift for her and Arizona from her Abuela and Nonna, and one from Arizona. She noticed Arizona also had a small pile that included presents from Aria and Arizona's parents.
"I already opened my presents from Tim, Teddy, Nick, and the one from Nick's mom and sister with them this morning." Arizona replied as she saw Callie eyeing Arizona's much smaller pile. Callie added a red bag to Arizona's pile.
"My parents didn't send you one?" Callie asked.
"Supporting you was their gift to me." Arizona replied as she gave Callie a present to open, deciding not to comment on the fact that Callie bought her a present as well. Callie let Arizona's response go for now but she had that nagging feeling in her stomach again. The two sat and opened their presents, saving the ones from each other for last. Most of their presents consisted of gift cards and their favorite snack foods. When it came time to open their presents from each other, Callie insisted Arizona open hers first.
Arizona opened the bag and smiled up at Callie as she pulled the Polaroid out of the bag. "What's this?"
"Well, I know your mom is a photographer and you loved the photos she took while in Africa. You're not such a bad photographer yourself, Arizona. I thought maybe while you're in Malawi for those last three months, you might want to take some photos. And this way, you can give photos to your kiddos if you want or put them on your graduation wall." Callie replied.
"Callie, this is really very sweet of you. I absolutely love it." Arizona replied with a squeal. "I want you to be my first photograph though. I need to remember your silky dark hair, big brown eyes, and beautiful full lips."
"After I've showered." Callie replied, holding up her hand as Arizona tried to snap a picture.
"Fine. Open your present then." Arizona replied, placing the camera back in her lap. She watched anxiously as Callie opened the rectangular box and pulled out a framed photo. Arizona watched Callie's eyes darken as she licked her full lips while she scanned the photo she was holding intensely. She snapped a photo of the moment and smiled as she saw the picture of Callie developing.
"Is this a boudoir portrait?" Callie asked as she looked at the picture. Her throat was dry and her panties were soaked as she looked at the image. Arizona laid on a couch, her right hand tangled in blonde curls that were spread out under her. She wore a small black fur half jacket and lacy black panties and that was it. Her cleavage was barely visible where the jacket came together in a clasp between her breasts but her flat stomach, collar bones, protruding hip bone, and one slender thigh were on complete display.
"Mmmhmm, Teddy and I went and got them done while you were in Miami on our girls day. There's a whole photo album full of them for you when we get back but he could only get one printed and framed in twenty four hours for me. Teddy and I decided on this one for your Christmas present."
"You have more?"
"Mmmhmm." The blonde nodded with a dimpled smile.
"And you let a guy see you in this?" The Latina asked, feeling a bit jealous over someone else seeing her very gorgeous blonde dressed so provocatively.
"A male photographer, yes. Teddy went with me to make sure he wasn't a creeper. Though my mom recommended him so I assumed he was safe."
"I'm not sure if I want to have this enlarged and displayed or hide it so it's only for my eyes." Callie whispered as she traced a finger over the photo.
"I thought you might need to be reminded of what you're missing while I'm gone. You know, in case any hot men or women come on to you." Arizona whispered seductively in her ear.
"Shower, now." Callie said, causing Arizona to giggle. But she picked up her gifts, tossed them in her cubby, grabbed her shower caddy and followed Callie to the latrines. Once making sure they were alone, the two shared a very steamy shower.
"Merry Christmas, baby." Arizona whispered as Callie came down from her high, Arizona's fingers still inside of her. "Am I forgiven?"
"Hmm, I think I could still come up with a punishment." The Latina replied with a lazy smile before she picked Arizona up and pinned her against the shower wall. "Merry Christmas, Arizona."
Later that day, the Latina had skyped with Carlos and Lucia, Arizona had waited in the hall so she could spend some private quality time with her family but had joined toward the end of the call with a promise to visit with Callie over the summer. The concert had been fun as the band did a mix of Christmas songs and classic rock which engaged the audience and had most of the group dancing and singing along. They played cards with Teddy, Nick, Tim, Addie, and Mark while they drank hot chocolate and sang Christmas Carols. Despite missing being home for Christmas, Arizona had to admit that the day had been pretty near perfect. She and Callie had made the most of their first Christmas together and as they laid in bed that night, they talked about Christmases to come and the different traditions their families had. Arizona hoped they could take some from each of their families, combining them while also creating some of their own. She fell asleep with a smile on her face as she pictured what their future Christmases could look like.
The week between Christmas and New Years was brutal upon returning to the hospital. Unfortunately, the rebel group that had moved in cared very little that it was the holiday season and if anything, it seemed to bring on more violence. The armored vehicles that transported the doctors were once again occupied by two additional vehicles, both carrying an additional four soldiers, all of which stayed at the hospital with the group of surgeons during the day. The Carter Madison Foundation was considering pulling the doctors early but had yet to make a decision and so the doctors continued with their work. This time, it would be up to the foundation to decide if the program was to end prematurely and not a vote by the surgeons.
On New Year's day, it was all hands on deck as they had been called in early for a bombing at a bank near the hospital that had left several people injured and in need of emergency surgery. A second bombing that day at a local cafe sent another half a dozen to them needing surgery. Thankfully none of them had been children but Arizona had been able to provide help as a general surgeon and was grateful to scrub in on a case with Callie. The couple hadn't seen each other much in the past forty eight hours and Arizona was missing the Latina. They talked over the body of a young woman that they were operating on, she had sustained an injury to her abdomen and Arizona was trying to find the source of the bleeding while Callie repaired her broken arm. She had been the least injured of the group and Arizona had already found the bleed and was working on stitching her liver laceration when Callie had scrubbed in, having just finished up on some of the more severe patients.
"What a way to ring in the new year, huh." Callie commented, trying to make light of the situation.
"I think you should go home early, Callie." Arizona voiced the thing that had been weighing on her mind since their return nearly two weeks before. She was suddenly paralyzed with the fear of losing Callie and she wanted her back home as soon as possible. This overwhelming feeling was foreign and it terrified her.
"What? Have you heard something from the foundation?" Callie asked, her focus on the ulna she was currently repairing, she thought the foundation may have finally decided to pull their program early due to safety issues.
"No, I haven't heard anything from the foundation. I'm not sure they will pull the plug on S.H.E. since there's only a month left and by the time they get everything arranged for us to leave it wouldn't make much of a difference. Unless they decide on an emergent and immediate evacuation of the surgeons, that's a different story."
"Then I don't understand." Callie replied. She glanced up and was surprised to see teary blue eyes staring intently at her. "What's wrong?"
"I want you to go home, Callie. I'm so worried that something is going to happen to you and I couldn't live with that." Arizona confessed, the stress and worry finally getting to her.
"Hey, I get it, Arizona but I am not at any more risk than you are. And I have to let you get on a plane and go to Malawi without me for three months. Don't you think I'm terrified of what could happen?" Callie asked, her attention now back on the ulna but she glanced up to look at Arizona every few seconds. Arizona finally dropped her gaze back down to the abdomen she had finished stitching and placed a sterile dressing over it.
"I've never felt like this before. I mean, I've been scared for my dad and for Timmy and for Teddy but not for someone I'm in love with. I hate this feeling, Callie." Arizona whispered, a single tear trailing down her cheek, her eyes on the dressing she had just placed, she couldn't bring herself to meet Callie's eyes at the moment. The fear of Callie getting injured or finding out she had lied to her was starting to chip away at the peds surgeon. She had recurring nightmares that one way or another, she loses Callie. Whether she leaves her because she finds out she lied and can't forgive her or worse, she dies from some sort of injury that her very imaginative brain has been hard at work conjuring up.
"Can you help me with this arm? I could use an extra set of hands." Callie said to Arizona. It was a lie, they both knew it but Arizona was done with her part of the surgery and Callie could tell she was reluctant to leave even though she had no reason to stay. She really wanted to hug the blonde right now but they were both as sterile as they could be here and she couldn't break that. So she settled with asking for help. "I promise, when we get back to base, we will talk, okay?"
Arizona nodded her head in understanding, took a deep breath and mentally switched to professional mode as she asked, "What can I help you with Dr. Torres?"
Callie handed Arizona the retractor and talked her through what she was doing just so the blonde could hear Callie's voice and it helped Callie to focus on the task at hand. She was worried about Arizona, she knew she was tough but they had been through a lot of stress these past two months and Arizona had witnessed a lot of death and illness in the past two years. Not to mention, she had been worrying about Tim, Teddy, and Nick as well.
It was dark by the time they returned to base that night. The couple ate in silence and then retreated to the barracks together. They were both beyond exhausted. It was still early so the barracks was mostly empty as the two lay facing each other in Callie's bunk. Arizona startled Callie by speaking first, "I'm scared I'm going to lose you."
"You're not going to lose me, Arizona."
"Promise?" Arizona asked as she fiddled with Callie's necklace.
"I promise to the best of my ability, if I have a choice, I won't leave you." Callie replied, placing a kiss on Arizona's forehead.
"I've been having nightmares about it. About you being killed by a bomb or a rebel shoots you or you're blown up in the truck on the way to the hospital. Or you just break up with me and leave me." Arizona whispered, surprising even herself that she was revealing this to Callie. "I've never put myself in this position. Not since Joanne. I never wanted to be in this position which is why I had the arrangement I had before you. No strings attached. And here I am, agreeing to move in with you and thinking about commitments and a future with all sorts of strings and attachments. And I want it so badly and it's completely lovely until I get to the part where you leave or die. Somehow I gave you the power to crush me, Calliope, and it's completely terrifying."
"Arizona, you have the power to crush me too. I don't want to get out of this. I'm so excited to move in together and I think about our future too. I'm worried about you too, babe. And I will go home early but only if you are coming with me."
"Will you just hold me?" Arizona asked. Callie opened her arms and the blonde nuzzled into her chest, wrapping her own arm around Callie's waist and sliding a slender leg between Callie's muscular thighs. "I promise not to leave you either."
Callie
Callie woke a little over a week later with a bad feeling. It was early on a Thursday morning, the blonde was in her own bunk and Callie found herself climbing up into her bunk to settle in next to her girlfriend. She had a bad feeling and she just couldn't shake it, she needed the blonde's heat, she needed to feel her breathing and know her heart was beating. She had woken up with a feeling like this only twice before in her life. Once was when her Abuelo had been in the car accident and passed away. Callie had felt the loss before she had even been told he was gone. She had woken up crying and not knowing why or what the feeling meant but just a feeling that something was wrong. The other time she had woken up with this feeling was when her mother had nearly died. She didn't remember all of it as she had not even been six yet. Aria had barely been walking but she remembered her mom falling down the stairs and bleeding a lot. She had lost the baby she had been pregnant with, pregnant enough that Callie remembered her big baby bump. The nursery had been locked up and no one had been in there for as long as Callie could remember. They never spoke of it, Callie wasn't even sure if it had been a boy or a girl. She just remembered her mom crying a lot. Either way, she had woken up to this feeling both of those days. Thinking it was about the secret Arizona was still keeping, Callie decided enough was enough, she was getting to the bottom of it no matter what else happened today.
She prepared her speech to herself that morning as she worked on a broken ankle that kept her busy and sought out her blonde in the peds ward as soon as she was done. It was lunchtime and the two of them had plans to have lunch together anyway, "Ready?"
Arizona looked up from her position where she was writing in a chart and smiled, causing Callie's breath to catch, "For you? Always."
The two grabbed their sack lunches and Callie led them to the wall where they had started sitting during lunch when they first began talking months before. Callie smiled at the memory, it seemed like a lifetime ago. Arizona asked about Callie's surgery, bringing her from her thoughts. Callie passionately described the surgery and exactly how she had saved the man's lower leg while Arizona listened and smiled at her with her dimples on display.
"My girlfriend is a badass rockstar ortho goddess."
"Thanks babe. So tell me about this awesome surgery you have tomorrow with Addie." Callie said. She still wanted to broach the subject with Arizona but she felt like whatever it was was going to be the catalyst for the feeling she woke up with so, as much as she wanted to ask, she was avoiding it.
"Callie, were you listening?" Arizona asked, looking at her expectantly when her brown eyes glazed over and she stared off into space, she had been caught. Well, no time like the present.
"I want to know what it is that you couldn't tell me on Christmas Eve. I know I said you didn't have to tell me but I don't want to have secrets with you, Arizona. I need to know what it is that had you so upset."
"I...I umm, I made a promise that I wouldn't tell you."
"You promised someone else that you wouldn't tell me something? Arizona, I am your girlfriend."
"I know and Callie, I want to tell you, it's been killing me not telling you. It's complicated and telling you is only going to hurt you when there's no longer a reason to do that."
"Obviously you're not too torn up about it or you would choose me over whomever you promised." Callie said as she started gathering up their trash and started to walk away.
"Callie, wait."
"Unless the next words out of your mouth is an explanation, then I don't want to hear it, Arizona." Callie said, Arizona didn't respond, she just stared at her looking like a deer in headlights. "Then I have work to do."
"Callie, wait. We can talk about it tonight, okay? I will tell you everything, just not here. I want to have time to tell you everything without being overheard or interrupted."
"Okay."
"And I need you to hear me out and to listen to the entire story before you go off in a Spanish rant."
"What exactly is this secret about? Am I going to have to break someone's bones?" Callie asked, she was completely serious. Her mind was flooded with ideas of what the blonde could possibly be keeping from her and every scenario was worse than the one before it. Arizona opened her mouth to answer when they were interrupted by Owen Hunt.
"Robbins...Torres...all hands on deck. A school for girls was just bombed. We have a dozen girls aged six to fourteen and two teachers coming in. There will be burns and broken bones. It's going to be a long night." Owen said as the two entered the hospital.
Arizona reached for Callie's hand and sighed in relief when Callie allowed her to lace their fingers together. They ran hand in hand after Owen, joining the crowd of doctors running toward the triage center. Tim motioned for Callie to join their group while the chief was trying to get Arizona's attention; before parting ways, Callie stopped and squeezed Arizona's hand. Arizona turned to her, a worried look on her face, "You'll do great. Stay safe. I love you, Calliope."
"I love you too." Callie replied. And with that, Arizona let go of Callie's hand and the two joined their teams to prepare for the incoming injured patients they were about to receive.