"You still okay?"
The waitress asks nervously as she walks beside the blonde; trying and failing to keep some of the joy from her voice so as to match Emma's clearly ominous mood. The Sheriff offers her a curt nod, not bothering with the transparently thin-lipped smile she has offered Ruby the last three times the younger woman has asked this very question, but, when Henry slips his small hand into hers, she squeezes it tightly, wrapping her arm around his shoulders as the boy wraps his own around her waist.
"Are you excited?"
She glances down at him distractedly, wondering what would constitute as the 'right' answer in this situation, but she is saved from what seems to her to be an impossible task when Ruby pipes up animatedly.
"Of course she is! But this is all pretty sudden, Henry... Your mom needs some time to get her head around it all I'll bet!"
The brunette frowns when her words are greeted with a small shrug from her friend and she tries to coach her features to form a more morose expression. She has asked several times now what happened while the blonde had been captured, but Emma has made it abundantly clear she doesn't want to discuss such matters. Ruby had thought at first her reluctance to talk may have been due to Henry's presence, but the more she studies the Sheriff out of the corner of her eye, the more she comes to the conclusion that the older woman doesn't look well. Not well at all.
She said she was okay...
She frowns as she thinks back to Emma's declaration while in the Mayor's hallway. She herself had awoken to the sound of voices up above; instantly recognizing that of her friend, while at the same time finding that low drawl to be curious.
That voice was from here... Not from there.
The elation of thinking of herself as Red rather than Ruby had been increased ten-fold by the knowledge that the blonde was safe and sound upstairs talking to the Queen.
The Evil Queen.
She had balked at that, her instincts screaming at her to get the hell out of the witch's house, while in the meantime begging the question of just what the Sheriff was going to make of all this.
Emma's expression when she had finally come into view in the hallway had spoken volumes.
The boy had come bounding out of his room, embracing his mother fiercely while apologizing for 'being a jerk' and asking her what she was doing there. One look at the blonde's face had been enough for the brunette to hurry quickly over- claim her own hug- and rescue the Sheriff from the inquisitive barrage of questions sure to come from the ten year old.
Green eyes had studied her warily, before her friend had asked her if she was 'different now' too. She had grinned, overjoyed, and pulled the blonde into another tight embrace, whispering 'You did it, Emma, you saved us!' much to Henry's delight.
She had asked about Regina, but had received a look of such warning that it had left her changing subjects hastily. When Emma had muttered she should make her way home to find Mary Margaret, both she and Henry had tagged along without any hesitation; Henry sparing no question as to whether doing so would be allowed, and the waitress imagines that such a thing was telling of how things were going to go now. She had almost expressed such a thought to her friend, but Emma hadn't seemed particularly keen on making conversation, leaving them where they are now; walking in semi-uncomfortable silence.
"Well I'd be excited if I were you! You finally get to meet Snow White and Prince Charming! And they'll know who you are and-... Are you okay? Are you sick?"
The blonde shakes her head slowly, although she has to admit, she's felt a great deal better than she does right now, but she doesn't think the sickness she feels is the sort to which her son is referring.
"No, I'm fine... Just nervous I guess..."
"You already met the Evil Queen! How much worse can it get!"
Ruby bites her lip awkwardly as the Sheriff scowls darkly, offering Henry a small shrug and a wide smile when he glances up at her; confused at his mother's reaction.
"...Mom? Are you-"
"-I'm fine Henry. You shouldn't call your mother that, though."
"But she is! Emma! You-"
"-Enough. I don't want to hear it."
The boy huffs at the cold reprimand offered to him by the blonde and Ruby blinks in surprise. She is used to the cutting tone the Sheriff is prone to taking, but has never heard her speak in such a way to her son. In the yellow glow of the streetlights her friend's face appears haggard and worn, and she supposes it can't be easy for the blonde to have learnt of the Mayor's true identity.
The Evil Queen... I'm sorry, Emma... I am... But just how much of the past was Regina aware of?... Surely she would have allowed herself the benefit of the truth... But, if that were so... The Evil Queen strived to protect the Saviour... If that were so... She loves you... She loves you, evil or not.
"Do you want us to wait outside when you go in?"
The blonde looks up at the waitress distractedly, pulling the soft wool of her loaned sweater tighter around her slim frame. It fits her awkwardly, and she wishes the wind would either pick up or die down so that it would desist serving her the delicate scent of apples she has come to associate with the Mayor.
With the Queen.
Her muscles ache and she imagines the headache she is having a hard time battling against is as much a result of lack of proper food and water as it is the craziness that impends on her. Her wrists feel warm and a little sore, but she forbids herself from looking down at the curious white lines that mark her pale skin where there should be ruined flesh and ugly stitching.
Do I want you to wait outside... Wait outside while I go pop in and say 'hi' to Snow White?... How am I supposed to even know the answer to such a question?
She shrugs, aware that this is becoming a bit of a theme as they walk along and hating herself for being what she is sure is the dampener to her friend's well deserved happiness, but not able to help herself. If Ruby really is some fucking wolf, Red, whatever, then good for her. She wants only good things for the young waitress- her heart filled with a strong fondness for the young brunette- but she doesn't quite know how to make her face preform the necessary expressions to show it.
I don't know what to tell you, Ruby... Red... Whoever you are. I don't know what to think or what to feel. The only person I want to be with is the reason I spent my whole life up until meeting her completely alone. The reason why I have no father, no mother... And now the woman we're on our way to see is the very woman that the only person I've ever come to truly love... That deserved my love... Endeavoured to destroy... Forgive me, but I'm not sure what would be considered the 'right' thing to say about all this.
She sighs, alarmed at the telling prickle of tears that finds her tired eyes, and she muses that for someone that rarely cries, Regina has brought out a side of her that is terribly watery for her liking. Sniffing, she rolls her eyes at the absurdity of it all. Her thoughts are muddled, for she does love another... She loves the kid... And she has loved another... Neal... But there is a pain to the emotion she attaches to the Mayor that makes her sure that this is something else entirely.
It must be true love, because nothing else would hurt quite so badly.
You've been reading too many fairytales... Or perhaps not enough as the case may be... But think on it, Swan... You loved Neal, and it hurt when he fucked you over too... Don't make this into something it's not. The woman was nice to you, she made you feel good... That's all there is to it. Don't clutch at straws.
No. She came to find me. I matter to her. Not as the fucking Saviour. As Emma.
Shaking her head, she wrestles her hands into the pockets of the tight slacks the brunette leant her, and watches her breath mist in front of her, illuminated by the streetlights. She is relieved that they walk in the darkness of the early hours; not sure she would have been able to deal with making her way home with the regular hustle and bustle of Storybrooke's patrons out on the streets. She imagines what it must be like; waking up to discover you are someone else entirely. The thought has a certain amount of romanticism to it... But it turns out, she's just Emma.
Somehow, it just doesn't seem like it's enough.
"Hey, Kid... Will she even know it's me? Like... I mean... I was a baby when I went through that wardrobe thing, and I-"
Her words are cut off as the three of them let out a simultaneous cry of surprise, each shielding their face from the harsh beam of light that pierces the darkness and blocks out all but the owner's silhouette.
"...Emma?"
The blonde nods, her hand still shielding her eyes as she instinctively puts an arm around her son's shoulders.
"Who's there?"
She recognizes the voice, but struggles to place it. Blinking rapidly as the torchlight sways to illuminate the ground, she lets out a low yelp as strong arms pull her into an overbearing embrace. Struggling free, she waits for her eyes to adjust to the new semi-darkness before speaking shakily.
"David?"
"Oh my god! Snow! Over here!"
The light pattering of moccasins on concrete and suddenly skinnier arms wrap themselves around her shoulders as her housemate presses her mouth firmly to her cheek.
"Oh, Emma! I was so worried! My... My girl... My..."
The raven headed woman's words taper off into heavy sobs, and the blonde plays with a thread on Henry's coat nervously as the boy beams up at his grandparents. Biting her lip as the schoolteacher lets out a second cry and embraces the waitress- who hugs her back fiercely- she looks up at David awkwardly when he places a hand on her shoulder.
"What, uh, what are you guys doing out here?"
"Looking for you, Emma! What happened? Snow...Well... Mary Margaret called me and told me you were missing. We went out to look for you, and... There was this sudden warmth- a heat- and... You did it, baby, you broke the curse!"
"I knew she could do it!"
Emma looks down at Henry who pipes up proudly, wondering just what the boy would say if he only knew how the curse had been lifted. Hanging her head awkwardly, she closes her eyes as Mary Margaret hurries back over and pulls her close, her face becoming buried in the comfortingly familiar scent of the older woman's coat.
"My little girl..."
The blonde cringes, not knowing how best to deal with this situation, but sure that however she goes about doing it will be the wrong way. She has never been one to excel with emotion.
Regina understood.
Mumbling into her mother's short locks, she sniffs as the schoolteacher laughs shakily and wipes the tears she hadn't realized had fallen away from her pale cheeks.
"I'm bigger than you are..."
"Oh, Emma... I... I'm so proud of you...You saved us... You saved everyone..."
Doesn't feel that way.
"Are you okay?!"
"Yeah."
No.
"Oh my god, thank god... Come, let's go home. Let's get you warmed up! I'll make us all some hot chocolate, just the way you like it... Oh, there's so much I want to ask you! And I imagine you are just full of questions for us! Come on, that's right..."
The Sheriff allows herself to be pulled in close to her housemate, the raven headed woman linking an arm through her own companionably while shooting her affectionate glances the blonde studies the pavement awkwardly to ignore. Henry bounds up to join David and Red as they stroll a little ahead, and Emma frowns as the kid allows his hand to be taken by the man without question.
Am I the only one not thrilled by all this?
"Are you sure you're okay?"
Mary Margaret asks worriedly, perching on the sofa beside the blonde and placing the back of her hand gently against the latter's forehead. Emma nods irritably, ducking away from the schoolteacher's attention.
"I'm fine... Just... Kind of trying to keep my brain intact, you know?... This is a lot..."
"I can imagine..."
Snow confides quietly, green eyes flickering over the blonde's drawn features with kind concern.
"I'm sorry this all happened the way it did... I guess there was never going to be a perfect way... But... I know you said you don't want to talk about it. I'm just so glad you're okay... When Ruby came to tell me about what Rumple-... Gold... Did to you... We'll make him pay for it, Emma, I promise you! Kidnapping you like that! I mean, I guess whatever he did must have broken the curse, but if he hurt you, I-"
"-It doesn't matter."
"Doesn't matter?! Of course it does! Emma... Did he? Did he hurt you?!"
"I'm fine now. Regina fixed it."
"...Regina... She found you?"
"Yes."
"And she... She didn't... She didn't try to hurt you when she found out who you were? When the curse broke? She-"
"-She knew. I think she always knew... She helped break the curse... She... She helped me."
"...I see. Well... I can understand why you'd think that, but... I don't... I don't think... I mean... I doubt she really did help break the curse, Emma... Maybe she told you that... I know she kind of had you thinking-"
"-She didn't have me thinking anything. The curse broke when I kissed her."
"It broke when you... But... The only magic strong enough to... Emma... What...?"
"It doesn't matter. She... I don't know."
She's the reason why this is all so awkward now. The reason I feel like a stranger to parents that would have loved me. Would have wanted me. It's her fault. Her fault, but I just want to know why? What could you have done to her to make it all worth this? Why this? Why did it all come to this?
"I think I'm going to go to bed..."
The schoolteacher opens her mouth to argue, but the blonde is already making her way from the sofa, stopping by the large armchair where Henry sits curled up and asleep to place a kiss on the boy's forehead, before disappearing up the stairs without a second glance.
Snow doesn't need to see her expression to read the emotion behind the way the Sheriff's shoulders droop as she drags her feet behind her.
This isn't how it was supposed to be.
Regina sits rigidly on the silken sheets of her bed, her eyes tired and bloodshot and her lips a smudged mess of ghostly scarlet. Her attention falls repeatedly on the maroon streaks that stain her door, but she can't quite bring herself to remove them.
I'm so sorry, Emma. I'm so, so sorry.
She sighs. She bares no remorse for the pain inflicted by her actions upon the hateful young woman and her prince that have acted as the bane to her existence for so long, but she is positive now that if she had known who that tiny, fair-headed babe would grow up to become, her love for the blonde would have outweighed her hate for her mother.
It wouldn't have been the same. Without the curse... You would have never known Emma the way you do now...
She shakes her head as she comes to the curious realization that such a thing doesn't matter. She would do anything to grant the younger woman her happiness, and if it would have meant never knowing the blonde herself... It would have been worth it...
Hindsight is a beautiful thing. But with all beauty, comes pain.
If I could take it all back, I-
She flinches, her eyes bright as she listens intently to the silence that cloaks her bedroom, sure she has heard a noise from downstairs. Brow furrowing as she hears it again, she rises from her bed slowly to stalk over to the window, seeking out the source of the heavy knocking that comes from below.
Tossing restlessly in bed, the blonde groans as her phone vibrates incessantly. Pulling back the covers and peering about the room that glows with the pale light of approaching dawn, she spots her cell lying forlorn at the foot of the bed and reaches for it with a frown. Staring at the name that flashes across the small screen with gritted teeth, she briefly entertains the idea of simply switching the device off and shutting it away before flipping it open warily.
"...Regina?"
"Emm-... Sheriff... I think I may require your services."
"... I'm on my way."
Closing her phone swiftly, she rolls out of bed and pulls on a pair of old jeans and a sweatshirt; pulling the hood up to cast her face into shadow and slipping out of the room quietly, shooting a glance toward Henry as he sleeps in the armchair before letting herself out of the apartment.
Please be okay. Just... Please be okay.