Kakashi was in the back hills training when the hot summer rain surprised him. He stopped and started to head back to Konoha. He reached the rocky section of the hills and was surprised to see pillars of debris and dirt rise up into the air. He was curious as to why anyone would be out here in the heavy rain. He went over to investigate and was surprised to see his pink haired kunoichi pummeling her fists into the earth around her. He watched her, her movements seemed erratic, like she had no purpose other than to destroy what was in front of her.

Sakura wiped her face, he assumed the rain was in her eyes, but then she stumbled and fell. He started to move towards her, but then saw as her body shudder, he realized she was sobbing, he heard the heart wrenching, painful cries of someone at their limit.

He had stood rooted in conflict, he wasn't sure if she would want to know that he had witnessed her pain. She bent over and let out a wail of agonizing pain, he was at her side in a flash. She glanced at him through her tear-filled eyes. His heart ached at seeing her so broken. He kneeled into the mud and pulled her into his chest. She continued sobbing, he held her as her body was wracked with her cries. He let her continue until her tears subsided, he didn't let her go and continued to hold her in the rain.

When Sakura final stopped crying, she still couldn't move. She felt exhausted down to her bones. She watched the raindrops hit the ground, how they joined into puddles, how they created ripples on the surface. She studied the puddles and a strong urge to drown overtook her, the feeling of being underwater was so enticing to her. A deep blue darkness to surround her, she wanted to feel the way water muffled all sound except for her heartbeat thundering in her ears. She wished she could muffle everything. She felt Kakashi shift under her, he picked her up in his arms.

"Let's get out of the rain." He carried her down the hill.

As they started to reach the village, Sakura noticed he was taking the road to her house, she looked up at him in panic. "No, not there."

He looked at her and saw a look of something akin to revulsion or fear, he knew couldn't take her there. "Where?"

"Anywhere else." She replied numbly.

Kakashi changed course and headed to his apartment. He put her down and they entered. They took off their wet shoes, he went in and grabbed some towels for them. She took one and wrapped it around herself, she could hear the water drops hit the floor.

"Sakura, you should take off your wet clothes, I think I have something you can wear." They were both soaked, he didn't want her to get sick. Her eyes seemed so far away, almost empty. She nodded and started to remove her top. "Sakura you can go to my room, or the bathroom to change." He pointed at his bedroom door.

It was like she wasn't listening. She shrugged, "It doesn't matter." She took off her top and with a splat it landed on the floor.

Kakashi turned around and went into his room to give her privacy. He quickly took off his clothes and threw on dry ones. He grabbed a pair of jogging pants and one of his usual jonin shirts. He walked back out to the living room hoping she was covered up in the towel. Sakura was standing naked in front of him, her back to him. He saw the expanse of her back, the swell of her curvy hips, down her muscular thighs. He quickly averted his eyes.

"Sakura, here are some dry clothes." He stepped up to her trying to keep his eyes away from her milky fair skin. She silently turned and took the clothes from him. Kakashi caught a glimpse of her humble breasts, their rosy peaks hardened from the cold. He quickly turned and went to the kitchen. He put on a kettle for tea.

He sighed. He wondered what had happened to bring Sakura to such a breaking point. Kakashi thought about her empty eyes, full of sadness. He recognized the numbness and pain she was feeling. He was surprised how quickly the feeling of emptiness and darkness flooded back to him. He brought his mind back to the woman in the other room, she and the rest of Team 7 had saved him from drowning, now it was his turn to help her.

The kettle whistled, he turned it off and pulled out cups and chamomile tea. He brought it out to the living room, Sakura was sitting on the couch, his clothes entirely too big for her. He walked up to her putting down the tray on the coffee table. He made her a cup of tea with honey how she liked. He made his without. He handed the mug to her and sat down next to her. She took a careful sip.

"You know Sasuke doesn't know how I like my tea." She said it softly, numbly. She took another sip letting it warm her bones.

He took a sip of his own tea. "Is Sasuke the reason you were crying?"

She looked into the golden liquid in her cup. "Yes and no. It's Sarada. I was going to the market and I asked her if she wanted me to bring her back something." Sakura scoffed, "She said to me, in her deadpanned sarcasm that would make her father proud, that she wanted me to bring her father home." Sakura felt silent angry tears fall down her face. "She looked at me like its my fault. As if I'm the one keeping Sasuke away. If she only knew how much I want him home too. I want her to have her father. I want to have a husband. It's been six years since he's seen us last. Sarada was four the last time he saw her. He doesn't even bother to send us messages when he turns in his reports." She spat out bitterly. "I can't take it anymore, I don't even know if I stay out of love or obligation but now my own daughter is starting to resent me and I can't handle it anymore." She let out a choked sob.

Kakashi reached for her hand and held it in his own. Sakura noticed his strong warm hands, she couldn't remember the last time she had felt comforted like this. "I'm sorry Kakashi that you had to see me like this." She sniffled.

"Don't apologize, you are very special to me and I will be here for you always for anything you need." He squeezed her hand for emphasis.

"I don't know what came over me. I put you in an awkward situation." She glanced at the pile of clothes that she left at the entrance next to her shoes.

"It's ok, you don't have to feel ashamed around me." He put his cup down and held her hand with both of his.

"I should probably get going." She had embarrassed herself in front of Kakashi enough, she should go home and cry in private like she usually did.

Kakashi looked out the window, the rain was still coming down hard. "It's still raining. Stay here. Where is Sarada?"

"She with the Akamichi's." Sakura looked out the window to verify.

"Then just stay here and wait out the rain." She didn't look like she was in any condition to be alone yet.

Sakura didn't have a good enough reason to refuse, she nodded.

"You're probably exhausted, why don't you go take a nap in my room?" She looked tired, her eyes were red from crying.

Sleep did sound very enticing to Sakura, she nodded, "Ok."

He let go of her hand and led her to his room. "I'll be right out here if you need anything at all." She walked in and sat down on the edge of the bed. He closed the door and let her sleep.

Kakashi went back to the couch and finished his tea. He grabbed her cup and noticed a faint pink lipstick stain on the edge. He picked up her wet clothes from the floor and put them to dry on the edge of the tub. He blushed as got to her panties. They were nothing special about them, just a pair of practical black cotton panties and a matching bra. He quickly laid them out and went back to the couch. He pulled out one of his trusted books and started to read.

He was so engrossed in his book that he didn't realize how late it was until his stomach protested the lack of food. He stood up, made a quick dinner and went to check on Sakura. He cracked open the door, she was sound asleep, he closed the door slowly, and left her a plate in case she was hungry when she woke up.

After he ate, he picked up the phone and called Choji, Karui answered. Kakashi confirmed that Sarada was still at their house playing with ChoCho. "Can Sarada spend the night? Sakura is not well."

"Of course she can spend the night. Is Sakura ok?" Karui's voice was full of concerned.

"I'm not sure, she's physically fine, but she's going through something I don't think she wants Sarada to know about." Kakashi didn't want to say too much.

"Ok, we'll take care of Sarada, they can have a sleep over. Tell Sakura if she needs us, we're here to help."

"I'm sure she appreciates the offer. If there's an emergency call me, she's here."

"Sure, thanks for letting us know. Take care of her Kakashi."

They hung up. He was probably overstepping his bounds now, but Sakura didn't seem like she was waking up any time soon and it was late and still raining, he at least needed to make sure Sarada was safe.

Sakura woke up after what felt like an eternity, she kept her eyes closed not wanting to leave the stillness and quiet sleep offered. She breathed in and noticed everything smelled different, it smelled of earth and trees and musk. Not the usual light airy sweet fragrances of her home. She opened her eyes, the room was dark, she sat up and saw pictures on the dresser, they were pictures of Team Seven and Team Minato. Sakura finally remembered she was at Kakashi's, she felt the sorrow flow back into her heart. She started crying quietly hoping not to bother Kakashi.

She felt so stupid. Stupid for loving someone that wanted nothing to do with her. Stupid for constantly defending him to everyone. More than anything she felt lonely. Her home smelled so completely feminine, she wished she could smell this masculine scent in her house. She wanted to feel the comfort of something as simple as a scent provided. She fell back on the bed, another empty bed. She sobbed into the pillows.

Sakura heard Kakashi open the door slowly, she tried to stop crying, she had bothered Kakashi enough, but she found she couldn't stop crying. He sat next to her, he pulled her up and held her. She cried into his bare shoulder, deep in the recesses of her mind she registered that all he was wearing was pants. He must have been sleeping. She calmed herself down enough to talk. "What time is it?"

"Half past eleven."

Sakura jolted, "Oh god, Sarada!" She moved to get up.

Kakashi took her hand, "She's fine, she's having a sleepover at the Akamichi's. I called them earlier."

She sank back down, "Oh, thank you Kakashi."

"Sakura, everything has been taken care of, you need to take care of yourself right now." He rubbed his thumb over her hand soothingly.

"I don't know what to do. Sasuke will never come back and stay. At the time, I thought I could accept that, but now Sarada asks questions that I don't know how to answer. She's becoming angry and resentful and I don't know how to fix it. I give her all the love I have and it's still not enough. She wants a father that I can't convince to stay, we are just dust in the back of his mind." She sobbed.

He pulled her into his chest Kakashi could feel her hot tears in his skin. "I'm so sorry Sakura, I wish I could make you feel better." He knew what it felt like to be lonely, to not have people that he loved with him, he knew how that sorrow ate away at the heart.

"Can you sleep next to me tonight? I don't want to wake up alone." She looked into his dark eyes, she was tired of an empty bed, and even if it wasn't the person she wanted, maybe Kakashi could offer her some comfort by his presence alone.

Kakashi blushed at the request but nodded. He pulled down the covers and crawled in beside her, she moved over to give him space, it's not that she wanted physical contact, she just needed to feel someone near her. She thought back to the sense of safety she always felt when they were on their missions and he was nearby.

As Sakura woke up the next morning she felt a heavy weight next to her, she smiled to herself, she rolled over and realized it wasn't Sasuke. She felt disappointed at herself for having that hope. Still it was nice to wake up next to a man, even if it was Kakashi. It finally dawned on her that Kakashi wasn't wearing his mask. She let her eyes roam his features. He was very attractive, even in his forties he had a youthful face, he had an angular jaw, a fine elegant nose, defined cheekbones, he had full lips, the lower slightly plumper than the top and a small beauty mark on his chin. Her eyes moved down, he slept on his side with his arms under a pillow. He had very muscular arms and chest, a lean but defined stomach. Before she could stop herself she noticed a sizable bulge in his pants, she blushed and quickly looked back to his face. It would probably be the only time she would ever see it, she might as well enjoy it.

After a few moments of studying his surprisingly attractive face, she lightly got up and went to the bathroom. She noticed her clothes spread out over the tub to dry. Her face heated up as she noticed her underwear laid out. She quickly grabbed her clothes, they were still moist, she bundled them up, she wanted them out off sight. She washed her face and rinsed her mouth, she ran her finger through her hair and sighed. She looked at her self in the mirror, she was such a mess. She looked down, his clothes were too big on her. She rolled up the sleeves and tied a knot on the bottom of the shirt to make it fit better.

She walked out and made breakfast to thank Kakashi for staying by her side. He came out without putting a shirt on, it was his house to wear on not wear whatever he wanted she reminded herself. She set the table after a quick argument that she won, they ate and she washed dishes.

"Sakura, thank you for breakfast." Kakashi smiled at her.

She felt herself smile back, he had such a great smile. "No, thank you Kakashi. I wasn't myself and you didn't leave me. Thank you.

"Let me know if you ever need a friend or a shoulder to cry on. Please don't ever think you are alone, because you're not." He reached to caress her face, she nodded, tears threatening to spill, he gave her a chaste kiss on the forehead. He looked into her emerald eyes, "Promise me." His stormy eyes held hers with a deep intensity.

She smiled softly at him, "I promise. I'll, uh, return these later." She tugged at the clothes on her. "In fact, why don't you come by for dinner on Thursday?"

"I would love to." He gave her a kind smile as they parted ways.

It became a habit to have dinner with Sakura and Sarada every Thursday, the Uzumakis and Yamanaka's often joined. Kakashi would make sure to check on her often. Eventually these check ups became time that they chatted and laughed, soon enough small touches became common, then those touches lingered. Kakashi didn't know how it had escalated or if it was only in his head, maybe he was just imagining or maybe it was wishful thinking but her perfectly manicured fingers made his skin bubble. She never touched him anywhere inappropriate, they were always perfectly innocent touches, her hand on his shoulder, on his arms, their fingers grazing when they handed something to each other. He wondered if their joint need to comfort each other had become something more or if it was one-sided.

Kakashi was laying in bed and a vision of her nudity from that night flickered into his mind. He ached to reach out and touch her skin. He rolled over and scolded himself for the inappropriate thoughts. He heard the doorbell ringing. It was the middle of the night, he quickly went to open the door thinking it was an emergency. Sakura stood before him.

"Is everything all right?" He let her into his apartment.

Sakura walked in and took off her shoes. "Kakashi, I need to tell you something." She nibbled on her bottom lip. Her eyes took him in, he slept in tight boxers it seemed.

"What is it?" He was concerned for her, but started feeling a little self-conscious at his lack of clothes as he noticed the way her eyes roamed his body.

"I, uh…" Sakura felt her face grow hot. "I don't want to be alone in my house tonight. Sarada is at Choji's and the empty house made me feel lonely."

Kakashi was surprised at her request. "Uh, sure, you can take my bed."

Sakura looked down to her hands, "Can you keep me company?" She emboldened herself to take his hand and pull him into his own bedroom.

Kakashi was stunned as he was guided into his room, "Uh, Sakura, I'm not sure that's appropriate." He pulled his hand away from hers, he couldn't be near her right now, he had just thought about her naked body, he just couldn't this time. Not to mention, as he reminded himself, she was married, fourteen years younger than him and a previous student.

Sakura took off her coat, she was wearing a simple dark nightgown that fell at her mid thigh underneath. "What does it matter if it's appropriate?" Her jade eyes looked at him fiercely. "I don't have a husband and you are just as lonely as I am, why not?"

"But you do have a husband Sakura." He studied her face, she seemed determined.

"Where? Have you seen him? Because I haven't seen or heard anything from him in over six years." Her voice held so much bitterness.

Kakashi spoke softly, "This isn't right, this isn't what you really want. You will regret it."

Sakura bit her bottom lip, "Is it because you aren't attracted to me?" She sounded anxious.

"No, that's not it. You are beautiful, I just think you will resent yourself after." He wanted to reach out to her but he kept his hands firmly at his side.

"Does it matter? My life is full of regrets, but you, you have been haunting my dreams Kakashi." She reached to touch his bare chest, it felt like a hot iron was pressed into his flesh where her hand was, it felt sinfully good.

He gritted his teeth, "Sakura…" He started.

"No, if you want me I'm right here. Take me as I am or don't but don't try to change my mind or my feelings. What do you want Kakashi?" Her emerald eyes bore into his.

What he wanted was something he shouldn't want. What he wanted was to hold her, kiss her, make love to her, but it was wrong, he needed to be strong for her, she didn't know what she was asking for. He was overwhelmed by her confession, by her ferocity, by her beauty. He didn't have it in him to be strong, she made him weak.

"I want you." He admitted shamefully.

"Then what's holding you back?" She pleaded.

"You're his, you always will be." That was what he needed to remind himself with. She could be here in front of him, offering her body to him, but she would never belong to him, she would always be an Uchiha.

"I'll be more yours than his." She stepped closer to him. "You're here, Sasuke will never come back to stay."

Her scent was intoxicating, she was breaking his resolve. "But it's not right."

"Kakashi, I can't offer you all of me, I can give you everything else. I can give you my body, and I can give you my heart, the parts he doesn't hold. Kakashi I want you, I know this isn't perfect, but nothing is. I thought I had the perfect life when Sasuke agreed to marry me, but now, all I want is a chance at finding happiness with you. I know it's odd for me to say but I will be loyal to you if you will have me. If you ever find someone you fall in love with, I will let you go. I will understand if you still say no, but you should know what you will get with me." She let her hands drop from his chest.

Kakashi felt his heart thumping against his ribcage, the thundering beat was deafening. She was right, perfect was an illusion, he knew that better than most. He was never going to marry, no one intrigued him enough, other than the woman standing in front of him. He was never going to have her completely, this was the best he could ever hope for. But it still didn't make it right. Fuck it. He had been doing what was right his entire life, he always did what was expected of him, why not give into her? Why not sin for some happiness?

He shook his head, not wanting to give in to his carnal desires. "Sakura…"

"Then give me one night. I need to feel loved for one night Kakashi, please." Her eyes were full of longing, a deep need to feel something good.

"One night?" He was unsure, could one night be enough?

"Make it a good night."

"One night of heaven for a lifetime of hell." He spoke softly, mostly to himself, weighing the worth of his choice.

"Make it an unforgettable night then." She implored.

Kakashi pulled her into his body, placing her hands back on his chest, she looked at him in surprise, her skin was burning his. "Are you sure this is what you want? We can't turn back after, if we ever get caught this will affect your daughter."

"I want you Kakashi. I need something only for myself. I need you." Sakura brought her hands up to his face and reached for him on her toes.

He needed to give her one last chance to turn away, "Sakura, are you so desperate for love that you're willing to hate yourself for it?"

"As long as it's with you, yes." She breathed, her evergreen eyes full of resolve and closed the distance between them.

Her lips were soft, she tasted like spring nights, like fresh strawberries and sake. Kakashi could feel a surge of heat flow through his body as her kisses became more passionate. He groaned as she nipped his bottom lip. He placed his hands lightly on her waist. She pressed herself closer to him sensing his trepidation. He could feel the softness of her breasts pressed against his chest, her hands moved up to his shoulders and down his arms. Her tongue flicked at his lips asking for entry, he obliged, letting his own tongue reach out to her. His hands gripped her more firmly, she groaned in encouragement as his fingers dug into her flesh.

Sakura was becoming light headed from his kisses, he tasted deep and earthy, like a whiskey, he smelled of forests and storms, he felt like molten steel. His touch ignited her skin and made her heart beat in her ears. Everything was falling away, her loneliness, her anger, all she felt was Kakashi's eagerness and her own desire. His kisses became hotter, his touches bolder. He wrapped his arms around her pulling her into him, she could feel the lean planes of his body on her soft curves.

Kakashi let himself give in to her, she ran her fingers down his spine making him shudder, he could feel her grin as they kissed, he bit lightly on her lower lips. She moaned softly, he let her go and started to kiss down her jaw. He could feel her hardened nipples on his bare chest through the fabric of her nightgown. A flash of memory of what they looked like flashed by his eyes, he needed to see them soon. She was mewling as his lips moved down her neck and shoulders, her sounds encouraged his lust.

She felt her skin flare with heat where his lips and fingers touched. It had been so long since she felt someone else's caresses, and Kakashi was so gentle but firm, his teeth nipped at her neck, she groaned and gripped his hair. "Oooh Kakashi…" He licked the same spot, soothing it. This is what she wanted, for him to touch all the places she couldn't, to find all her hidden spots and to care enough to remember. His fingers were ghosting up her back making her shiver, his hand cradled her face, his thumb tracing her jaw.

Her skin was toxic, her taste poison, he knew that giving into her was going to destroy his soul but he wanted more, he wanted as much as he could have. His hand moved up to her hair, he tugged it back making her gasp. Kakashi stood up straight, towering over her, her half lidded eyes and swollen lips were making his heart pump faster. "Sakura…" He growled, she whimpered, "I hate you for doing this to me." His kiss was harsh and bruising.

"Show me how much you hate me Kakashi." She breathed out through his kisses. She knew this was wrong, she knew she shouldn't be doing this, and she did hate herself for bringing Kakashi into her world of self-loathing, but she needed him to soothe her pain, he was the only one that could. He was the only one that knew how deep her loneliness ran and he was the only one that could shoulder the responsibility of what she was asking for. She slid off her nightgown, letting it pool at her feet.

He let her go and took in the sight of her, "I don't hate you Sakura, not at all. You're the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." He hated himself more was the truth, he slowly brought his hand up to her shoulder, she took his other hand that was at his side, and pressed it to her breast. He couldn't help but start feeling the softness of her mounds, his other hand falling to its twin.

His grey eyes met her emerald ones. "Kakashi don't make me beg every step of the way, take me, I'm yours."

He nodded and pushed away all the conflicting thoughts in his mind. He bent back down to her neck, discovering all the areas that made her moan as his hands tugged and pinched her rose nipples. She surprised him when she reached for his pants and gripped his throbbing member. He groaned as she rubbed the tip, spreading the liquid around and stroking him. "Aaah… Sakura…" He bent lower to take a nipple into his mouth, teasing the nub with his tongue and teeth, his free hand moved down to her hips and slid off her panties. She did the same for him.

Sakura couldn't wait anymore, she needed release soon. He was making her skin itch with anticipation, her heart beat against her ribcage. She felt his fingers move down her stomach and gently caress her netherlips, he dipped a finger into her folds and stroked her clit. "Aaah.. Yes Kakashi!" She gripped his thickness and heard him growl and she continued to move her hand up his shaft.

Kakashi could feel her dripping entrance and inserted two fingers into her, she trembled as she started to move them inside of her, his thumb teasing her pearl. He had her panting very quickly, he released her breasts and started to nibble on her ear. She jerked, he smiled to himself, he wanted all of her and he wanted to give her an unforgettable first orgasm with him. He pulled his hand out of her, his finger coated with her arousal, she whined. He took her hands and brought them up to his chest. He grabbed her thighs and brought her up to his, she wrapped her legs around his waist.

Sakura could feel his hard cock pressed against her core, she moved her hips, they both groaned and the sensation. She wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him closer to her, their lips nipping and tongues licking at each other. He maneuvered her hips until she felt his head aligned with her entrance. She let herself sink down onto his hard length. "Kaka….Kakashi… Ooooh." She sighed as she felt him fill her completely.

"Nnggh… Gods Sakura…." He spoke through gritted teeth, feeling every inch of himself surrounded by her heat. She placed her forehead on his, she was biting her bottom lip, she braced herself and started moving her hips as he held them both up. She moved slowly, he could feel her mold to his thickness. He gripped her thighs to help her move as he anchored himself.

She knew this was all wrong, she shouldn't be fucking someone that wasn't her husband, but gods Kakashi felt so good, he was warm, and firm under her skin, she could touch, kiss, scratch, bite, he was present. The feelings of desire were worth the guilt. His fingers were digging into her thighs as he held her up, she had never had sex in this position, she was impressed by his strength, his masculinity made the heat in her core flare up. She looked into his eyes, she was entranced by his stormy depths, she could see the same conflict she felt, and the same resolve. He slammed her down against him, "Aaaah! Kakashi!" She cried out as he claimed her as his, "Yes! More Kakashi! I want to feel all of you!"

He was moaning as she screamed for him, the sound of their flesh filling his ears, "Nggh, Sakura, I want all of you too. Cum for me." He was moving into her with abandon, he could feel her insides fluttering around him, she was sobbing out his name, begging him for more, and he gave it, he gave her all of him. She screamed out his name as her body convulsed, her orgasm flooding her body. She was beautiful, everything he wanted, and more than he deserved. He took a few steps forward and set her down on the bed, continuing to pump himself into her, she was screaming as he chased his own release with fervor, her body still sensitive. She scratched and clawed at his back, he growled in response, letting the pain mix with the pleasure. She was bucking under him, every movement bringing him closer to the brink.

"Kakashi!" She sobbed as another wave of pleasure hit her body.

"You're mine." He bit down on her neck, she cried out.

"Yes I'm yours!" She felt his body jerk and his cock twitch inside of her as his own heat filled her, "I want it all Kakashi." She held him as he slumped onto her body. He licked her neck soothingly, but she knew there would be an angry welt on her neck she would have to heal later.

Their breathing slowed, he lifted himself up from her. She reached up and brushed his hair back tenderly. He bit his lip, he knew he shouldn't have done this, but then she did something that showed she cared. He bent down and kissed her softly, "One night of heaven for an eternity in hell." Her green eyes watched him like a predator watching its prey.

"Is one night enough for you?" She watched his face, emotions flashing across it.

"Do I have a choice?" He watched her lick her cherry lips.

"What's two nights?" Her hands moved down his arms.

"And if that still not enough?" He kissed her forehead.

"However long it takes then," She pulled him back to her lips rolling him over until she was on top, "We've already damned ourselves anyways."