Chapter 8 - Reunited at Last

Beast stared at the enchanted book, his breath shaking as he reached out his paw, whilst his other paw clutched his old, worn fairy tale book.

How had he gotten to this point you may ask? Why was he using one of the magical items he had sworn to never touch?

The answer is simple. He wanted to see his mother.

It was a few months after he had tried different methods to reconnect with his childhood. After visiting his playroom and the gallery, he had spent a couple of days looking at all of his old toys and remembering the games he used to play with them.

After a while, his desire to recollect on his past had faded. There wasn't much else to think about, as the remaining memories he hadn't thought about weren't as special, and some were rather unpleasant. But earlier that day, Mrs Potts had told him something that drove him into wanting to use the enchanted book.

It started out like any other day of his miserable existence. He got up, checked the rose, lingered in his room for a while, and then headed downstairs for breakfast.

He sat at the long, empty table in front of his already prepared meal, and was about to tuck in when Mrs Potts approached him on her trolley.

"I don't want any tea." He dismissed her before she could even speak.

"I don't want to talk to you about tea. At least not today." She responded.

"Oh?" He replied. That was odd, that's all they ever spoke to each other about, at least nowadays, as there wasn't anything else to say. Their interactions had deteriorated to the point where the only words that escaped their mouths were 'would you like some tea?' or 'more tea?' and the only thing he could say in response was either 'yes' or 'no'.

She sighed "I've debated with myself for a long time, about whether or not I should tell you this. This other servants urged me not to, told me that it wasn't fair on you. So I've been holding back on telling you this for the past few years but... But ever since you started trying to find some sort of meaning from your past-"

She noticed? Was it really that obvious?

"-I felt like I owed it to you."

"Just spit it out already." He grumbled. He just wanted to eat. The animal instinct that lurked away inside of him, clawing at the back of his mind, wanted to shovel it all down his throat in an instant. It was simply driven by hunger. And he partly was too.

Mrs Potts knew that his patience was wearing thin, so she decided to cut the chase. "Today... is the anniversary of your mother's death." She told him, her voice hushed.

Beast had suddenly lost his appetite and covered his mouth with his paw. His other paw gripped the table, his claws chipping away at the wood. He was silent for a moment, as it slowly began to sink in. He had never known when exactly his mother had died... Until now. Why had he never asked? His father didn't want him to know about it, but he had been free to do so for a long time.

He lowered his paw and glanced at Mrs Potts, who was staring at him with sorrowful eyes "Why are you telling me this now?" He asked.

"Because I thought it was the right thing to do. It's time you knew the truth. I'm sorry that I kept it from you for so long..." She responded, before turning and wheeling away on the trolley.

"Wait!" He almost shouted, causing Mrs Potts to immediately come back. "What was she like... in her final days?" He asked. He needed to know, because he hadn't been there to see it himself.

Mrs Potts sighed sadly "She was in a lot of pain... She could hardly breathe. She kept asking for you, begging us to bring you to her, but we couldn't... because you weren't there. She didn't understand, she wasn't fully aware of what was going on. She just wanted to see you, one last time."

Beast lowered his head sadly. His jaw was clenched and his throat felt like it was closing up. He could feel tears forming in his eyes, but he blinked rapidly in order to fight them back. "Did she say anything before she..." He trailed off, he could barely speak, his voice was cracking.

It seemed that Mrs Potts knew what he was trying to say. "She never stopped talking about you. You were the apple of her eye, everyone could see that the one thing on her mind was you." She paused for a moment, as if she was holding back, not wanting to go on. "Before she died, she told me to tell you that... She loved you, and that she would always love you and... No matter what, you should be the person that you choose to be, don't let anyone change you into something that you are not." She finished.

Beast hung his head in shame. His mother's dying wish was that he shouldn't let anyone influence him, and he had done the complete opposite. If he had known, maybe he would have resisted, maybe he would have ignored his father's teachings. But... But that was something his mother had always wanted, for him to be his own person, not just on her death bed.

He had failed her.

Beast let out an angered cry and in one swift motion he pushed all the food off the table, and it fell to the floor, several plates shattering on impact.

Breathing heavily, he gritted his teeth and glanced at Mrs Potts, who wasn't as startled as she should have been. She was starting to become numb to this kind of behaviour. They all were.

"I'll get someone to clean that up." She muttered. As she was on her way out, she paused and looked back at him "Master, don't be too hard on yourself about it. You couldn't have known. If there was one thing I could do over in my life... I would have told you much sooner, whenever I had the chance."

"Where was she buried?" He asked, completely ignoring her words of comfort.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you because I don't know for certain. Your father had the funeral arrangements prepared."

"He did?" He questioned. Of course he did. If there was one person that knew where his mother was buried, it would be his father. "He knew all this time... And he never took me to see her...?"

Mrs Potts was silent. "I really should go get someone to clean that up." She murmured, shifting her attention back on to the mess of food and broken plates on the floor.

"While you're doing that, ask one of the servants to go into the library and collect the enchanted book for me... It's on one of the far shelves."

"I thought you said-" she began, probably about how he said he never wanted to use it.

"I know what I said!" He snapped "Just ask someone to get it for me."

"... As you wish, master." She obeyed, before leaving the room.

Once she was gone, Beast slumped back in the chair and rubbed his neck with his paw. He wasn't really sure what he had planned, truth be told he wasn't really thinking straight right now, but he had to see his mother. And the book would be able to take him to her.

While he waited, he quickly went and collected his old fairy tale book from the playroom. He wanted to take it with him, as it was one of the few things that he and his mother read together.

When he returned to the dining room, the enchanted book was already there, opened up and waiting for him.

And so, here we are, back in the present. Beast hesitated for a moment, before reaching out and placing his paw on the pages of the book.

He didn't know where it would take him. But wherever it was, at least she would be there. They'd be together again.

He closed his eyes and concentrated on the image of his mother, willing the book to take him to her place of burial.

After a few seconds, his paw phased through the book and his eyes shot open. The book was no longer there, and neither was the table, or the dining room. He wasn't in the castle anymore.

He glanced around, trying to get his bearings. He was outside, standing on top of a large hill in the early hours of morning. Behind him were wide open fields, stretching out as far as the eye could see. And in the other direction was the village, or at least what he could see of it, as the only thing that was visible was the roof of the clock tower peaking up from the valley, as he was a fair amount of distance away. It was the same village he had taxed so harshly to fund his parties. The rising sun that was coming up behind another set of hills on the other side of valley was assaulting his eyes, and he was forced to turn away.

There was a thicket at the edge of the sloping hills, with large trees stretching up towards the black and orange tinted sky. If he had to guess, he would say that his castle was in that direction.

The hill that he was on had a large apple tree, with its leaves and branches hanging over him. And at the roots of the tree... Was his mother's grave.

Why was she here? So far from the castle? He had expected more than this, for her to be buried somewhere like Paris, not here. Did anyone even know she was here? Did his father want her to have a private resting place, was that it?

Or was she buried here so that she could be forgotten?

Her tombstone was faded, the writing barely visible. Had no one taken care of it, taken care of her?

Did anyone even visit her?

He glanced over at the thicket once more, at the long line of trees that seemed to go on forever. She had been so close, and yet so far. Just a short carriage ride and walk away.

He could have seen her any time he wanted if he had only known. If he had visited the neighbouring village at least once in his life and not avoided it, he probably would have seen her. Perhaps catch a glimpse.

His legs shook before buckling underneath him and he collapsed onto his knees. The wet grass below his feet softened the fall. It must have rained the night before.

He knew she was dead, but... Seeing her grave now, after all this time, it brought back all the pain and sorrow he had felt when he lost her. He felt like he was losing her all over again.

He lifted his paw and gently ran a finger along the engraved writing. 'Loving Queen, Wife, and Mother. May she Rest in Peace.'

He lowered his paw and gripped the wet grass. He remembered his mother mentioning once that she loved looking at the little town from the hillside, that the view was beautiful and that she would take him to see it one day. But she never did. His father didn't like her going near there, because of the peasants.

Is this what she requested? So that she could, in a sense, look over the little town even in death? Or was this his father's doing? Was this his mother's special place, that his father knew about, and wanted her to be laid to rest here?

He had so many questions and no one to answer them.

He gripped the wet grass tighter and ended up ripping some blades from the earth. Did she really rest in peace, like the gravestone said?

He could only hope.

"Hello, mother." He greeted softly, placing his paw on top of the gravestone. "It's been an awful long time." He murmured, chuckling half-heartedly. "I brought you my fairy tale book. Do you remember it? You used to read it to me all the time when I was younger."

Silence. The only sound that could be heard was the wind rushing over the hill, rustling the leaves and blowing his fur.

He placed the book down in front of the grave. "I'll let you hang onto it, I don't have much of a use for it anymore."

He intended on leaving it there, hopefully it would be sheltered by the tree and wouldn't get damaged.

He went quiet again and stared solemnly at the grave. The grass in front of it would have once been unearthed soil. That must have been so long ago.

Beast had been holding back his emotions for so long. There were several moments where he had almost broke down, but managed to keep his composure. 'Crying is a sign of weakness' his father used to say.

He was tired of bottling up his feelings.

He finally caved.

He choked up and hot tears streamed down his face, staining his fur. "I miss you. I miss you so much." He whimpered, clutching his head as he continued to sob.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't there when you died. I wanted to be, I really did, and I wish I could have been there for you but father wouldn't allow it." He sobbed. "I'm so sorry that I didn't come and see you until now."

He fell on top of the mound of soil and grass, knowing that his mother was buried underneath the earth, and this was the closest he'd ever be able to get to her. "I just want you back." He cried, sniffling softly.

His whole body shook as he lie there on the ground, below the apple tree.

He lay there for quite some time, shaking and weeping, with his tears and snot covered face pressed against the wet grass. Just when he thought he had no tears left, more came trickling down his cheeks.

He felt something warm touch his back. For a moment, his crying stopped, and he lifted his head and looked over his shoulder to see that it was the sun's rays that were shining on him.

He slowly got to his feet and turned and watched as the sunlight touched every inch of the hillside and valley, causing the rain covered grass to glisten in its golden glow.

He stood and stared in awe, his mouth hanging open. He glanced over his shoulder at his mother's grave "You were right, mother..." He murmured, looking back at the scenery "The view is beautiful from up here." His voice was hoarse after sobbing.

He breathed in the fresh country air and then exhaled deeply. It felt good, to feel the warm sun on his fur, to just stand there and soak it in. He hadn't been outside in years. He felt at peace here. Now that he was with her, whether she was alive or not.

He turned back to her "I wish I could have seen it with you."

He glanced down at the valley, and noticed a group of about four silhouettes on horse back riding up a trail on the other hillside.

They were hunters no doubt, and that meant it was time for him to leave. He couldn't linger for too long out in broad daylight, where he could be spotted.

He walked up to the grave once more and knelt down in front of it. "I have to go now... I would like to stay longer, but I can't..." He trailed off "I'm sorry that I didn't stay true to myself. I failed you, in so many ways. But I hope that, wherever you are now... You can forgive me... For everything that I've done." He finished.

"Goodbye... Mother." He whispered.

And just like that, his surroundings faded away, and he was back inside the dining room.

He lifted his paw and wiped his tear stained face. He felt drained, after crying so much, like all the emotion had been sucked out of him, and he was left as an empty vessel.

His fur was wet, and had blades of grass tangled up in it, and his trousers and cloak were rather damp. If he didn't smell like wet dog before, he certainly did now.

He grimaced. He'd go clean himself up but... What was the point? He'd just wait for his fur to dry and brush off the grass later.

He noticed that the broken plates and food had been cleaned up as he left the dining room. As he was making his way over to the staircase, he heard Mrs Potts' voice behind him.

"Are you alright, master?" She asked concernedly.

He paused, but kept his back to her. "I'm fine." He lied. "Just see to it that the enchanted book is put back in the library." He told her, as he walked up the stairs.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" She asked.

He paused once more. "You could say that." He murmured, before hurrying up the stairs, towards the West Wing. He couldn't let her see that he was upset. That he had cracked.

On the way there, he stopped when he caught sight of the door leading to his father's study.

Seeing it now, it reminded him of his mother, buried alone on that hill, with no one to visit her.

He could have seen her... If his father had told him where she was buried.

He felt his anger and animosity that he held towards his father start to boil over. He stormed towards the door and burst through it.

There was his father, in picture form, hanging on the wall. Beast snarled and rush towards the portrait.

"Why didn't you take me to see her?!" He shouted angrily.

The portrait didn't answer.

"You knew where she was, she is only a carriage ride away, and you never took me to see her!" He cried. "Did you even care about her, at all?! Did you even care about me, about how I felt?!"

"Or was the only thing that mattered to you was turning me into a suitable heir?! Turning me into- turning me into you!" He exclaimed.

He glanced down at his wretched body, the mangled, long brown fur and large paws and claws. He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his teeth. "This is all your fault!" He shouted, opening his eyes and clawing at the portrait, shredding his father's image, over and over and over again.

"It's all your fault!" He shouted again as he scratched at the canvas, until his father was barely visible behind the claw marks. But he wasn't done yet. He was only getting started. He grabbed hold of the picture frame and began to pry it off the wall. The wooden frame creaked and cracked, and he moved out of the way as it toppled off the wall and collided with the desk, breaking it apart.

"It's all your fault... It's all your fault... It's all your fault..." He repeated, his voice shaking as he stumbled back from the carnage.

But was it his father's fault? Could all of the blame solely rest on him? He wasn't there when Beast refused the rose. He wasn't around all that much in his later life, he went on trips, the former prince could have asked around, tried to find out where his mother was buried. It wouldn't have taken a lot of effort to find out.

He didn't have to listen to a word his father said. He could have pretended to be the person his father trained him up to be, taken on a persona but kept his mother's teachings close to heart. He didn't have to act the way he had that landed him in this mess. He didn't have to act like his father. He didn't have to let himself become something worse than him.

So... If it wasn't his father's fault... Then who's was it?

Beast fell back again the wall, the tips of his horns scrapping against it as he slumped down, curling himself up on the floor.

"It's all my fault." He whimpered, tears streaming down his cheeks as he took hold of his legs and pulled them close to his chest. "It's all my fault..."

A/N - Here's the other chapter I promised for this weekend! We'll be going back to one per week after this though :(

I realise that in the movie, the Prince most likely was there to see his mother die. It's not exactly clear in the final version wherever she was or wasn't dead when he was singing to her. I'm not trying to be completely accurate to the movie, and I think its more tragic and makes for a compelling story if the Prince wasn't there when she died. You'll see it expanded upon more in later chapters. I hope you like the direction I'm going in with this.

I also hope you enjoyed this double chapter weekend special thing or whatever this was! You never know, I might do it again, hint hint.

Let me know what you thought of these two and I'll see you next week.