Chapter 25 - Untold Feelings
It was the following day. Beast hadn't seen much of Belle yesterday, or today for that matter. She had been busy working on the ballroom, and didn't have time for anything else, except eating and sleeping.
He didn't have a problem with it, it was just a little jarring to go from seeing her all the time to hardly seeing her at all. He was starting to wish he had shown her a different room, one that they could have worked on together, instead of the one that carried emotional baggage. But if she enjoyed restoring it to its former glory, then so be it. He'd sacrifice the time he got to spend with her so that she could be happy.
It was lunch time, and Belle had come to join him at the dinner table. They were having tomato soup again, which was probably leftovers from the first batch the servants made. It still looked fresh though.
He couldn't believe it had only been two days since Belle had agreed to eat with him. Time seemed to be moving by so fast, and yet it felt like he had known her for much longer. It was certainly a huge difference compared to the days before she had arrived at the castle. Everything just seemed to drag, and he had found himself wishing for it to be over. But now that she was here, he didn't want the days to end. He wanted them to last forever.
They didn't interact much at the dinner table. Belle was scooping up the soup with a spoon whilst reading a book, occasionally glancing up at him. He hadn't started eating yet, as he was too busy savouring the moment, before she inevitably went back to working on the ballroom.
He didn't like the distance between them at the dinner table. It felt like she was miles away, and if he wanted to talk to her he would have to shout. It reminded him of his mother and father, who used to always sit at opposite ends of the table, never breathing a word to each other. There was no intimacy. It seemed so symbolic of their relationship, the distance that separated them at the dinner table was like the empty void that was their failing marriage.
He didn't want their relationship to be like that. They had made great strides, they actually tolerated each other! He could even say that they respected one another. He definitely respected her. That was more than his parents ever did. He wanted to close the gap, but he was hesitant to do so. He didn't want to invade her space, or be too forward. He may have sat next to her in the library, but this was different, this was at the dinner table, where they were expected to be formal.
Belle put her book down and shared a glance with him. She noticed that he hadn't touched his food. She then tilted her head to the left and gestured at the chair next to her with her eyes.
She wanted him to come and sit with her. They were on the same page. Could she read his thoughts?
Beast collected his bowel and stood up, walking down the long row of chairs before reaching Belle, and sitting down in the chair next to her. He placed his bowel on the table, and was about to tuck in, when he remembered that he couldn't just dunk his face in it when he was sitting so close to her. He wasn't going to lap it up like a dog when he had been trying to behave more human for the last few days. Her words of encouragement from the other day had gotten through to him, he had been trying his best with the things he found difficult. He had made progress with reading, but he hadn't practiced spoon feeding himself. Plus he didn't bring any cutlery down with him, and he didn't want to get back up to grab some as he would feel a little awkward.
He sat there completely frozen, glancing between Belle and the bowel, unsure of what to do. Belle saw how uncertain he was, and placed her spoon down and picked up her own bowel with both hands. Beast watched her curiously as she gave him a look that said 'Here, copy me.' She then brought the bowel to her mouth and tilted it up, so that the tomato soup could run down to the edge of the bowel and she could drink it.
She was meeting him half way. If he couldn't use a spoon, then she found a compromise where they could both eat in the simplest and easiest way possible, that wasn't degrading or animalistic. Where they were both equal.
Feeling confident, Beast scooped up his bowel in his large paws and held it up. They both lifted their bowels up, to cheers one another, before they began to eat. Beast slurped his soup rather loudly, but he couldn't really help it, and at least it was a start. He was one step closer to behaving like a normal person.
They put their bowels down simultaneously, and Beast licked his lips. Belle let out a small chuckle, which was probably at the dumb look on his face. She then pushed her chair out, and picked up a piece of bread and stuffed it into her pouch. She was probably saving it for later.
She stood up and as she was leaving, she placed her hand on his shoulder, drawing his attention. "You're getting a lot better, you know." She said, giving him a warm smile.
"Anything is an improvement compared to when you first met me." He responded in a joking manner.
She snorted, laughing through her nose. "True. But I mean it, you really are getting better. I can see you're trying, but you don't need to feel like you have to rush it. Just take your time." She advised. She then removed her hand from his shoulder after leaving it there a little longer than she thought she should have. At least, that's what he could tell from her body language, as she rubbed her hand on her dress. Was she embarrassed? "Anyway, I'm going to get back to sorting out the ballroom. I think I'll be done soon. Then you can finally read your favourite book to me."
Belle moved passed him and walked over to the door. "Thanks for sitting with me. I'll see you later." She gave him a small wave before she opened the door and left the room.
Beast sat alone at the table for a moment, and picked up the book she had forgotten to take with her. She had been reading Frankenstein. Funny, he didn't think she would be interested in that kind of thing. Then again, he wouldn't have pictured her as having an interest in inventing. She was just full of surprises. Perhaps she had been reading it because she was living with a monster herself.
He'd make sure to give it back to her later.
"Hello, Master." Lumiere greeted, as he climbed onto the table. Beast didn't know how long he had been in the room.
"Hello, Lumiere." He responded dryly as he carefully flicked through the book. "What do you want this time?"
"We haven't had much of a chance to talk recently. You've been spending so much time with Belle. I just wanted to catch up with you, see how it's going." The candle stick informed him, walking across the table and standing on the other side of his bowel.
"It's going well. At least, I think it is. She seems to like me but... I haven't seen much of her recently, today or yesterday. We were getting on with each other, but then I showed her the ballroom and now her attention is focused on that." Beast replied, closing Belle's book and slipping it into his inside jacket pocket.
"I noticed. She's doing a splendid job, you know. She's been sorting out the chandeliers, hoisting them back up into their correct positions, and she's made this pulley system to lift herself up so that she can clean the windows." Lumiere informed him. "Why don't you help her with it?"
"I would, but... I don't like being in that room. It's a reminder of everything that's happened and... It hurts that I associate something so painful with the one room that used to be my favourite part of the castle." He explained. "But that's where I am right now, and I don't want to go in there when I'll end up thinking about what took place."
"Why didn't you pick a different room?" Lumiere questioned.
"Because I wasn't doing it for me, it didn't matter what the room meant to me. I was doing it for her."
"Oh." Lumiere murmured. "How do you think it's going as a whole, do you think you're getting anywhere with her?"
"Well, I'm not really sure, I'm getting mixed feelings." Beast replied.
"Ah yes. Women can be hard to read. They're not all an open book." Lumiere responded.
Was he making a literacy reference because of how much he had been reading lately? If so, then that was rather clever.
"Have you tried asking her how she feels?"
"Ask her? I can't do that. It might scare her off." Beast protested.
"Well, if you tell her how you feel about her, it will encourage her to share her feelings." Lumiere suggested.
"But I don't know how I feel." Beast responded. "All this is making my head hurt. I don't want to seem like I don't care but I don't want to be too forward with her either. I don't know what I'm doing."
"You have to find a balance in between the two." Lumiere stated. "I think you're doing rather well despite everything. Look what you did today! You sat next to her at the dinner table, you showed her that you're not uncomfortable with sharing your space with her."
"I only did that because she invited me to sit with her." Beast stated.
"But you still took it upon yourself to do it. You didn't have to sit with her. That counts for something, doesn't it?"
"I suppose. I'm just so confused right now. I don't know what I'm feeling."
"You will. This is all natural. You'll understand your feelings very soon." Lumiere told him.
Beast pushed his chair out and stood up. "I need some space and time to think." He stated.
"Of course, of course. Take some time to think about your feelings, and then you'll have a better handle over things." Lumiere recommended. "It's all starting to come together, just keep doing what you're doing. It will all start to make sense soon."
Beast simply nodded in response and left the dining room. Perhaps he'd go outside for a walk, where he could be completely alone with his thoughts. On the way over to the front entrance, several feather dusters, led by Plumette, flew passed him, heading towards the ballroom.
Mrs Potts was there too, along with Chip. She turned to greet him when Chip nudged her, alerting his mother of his presence. "Hello, Master!" She called over.
Beast approached the two, as it was clear that Mrs Potts wanted to have a conversation. "Have you seen what Belle's been up to in the ballroom?"
"No, but Lumiere told me about the work she's done." He replied.
"Isn't it fantastic? It's about time someone fixed up that room." The teapot stated. "How are you and Belle getting on by the way?"
Of course, that's what she really wanted to know about. She wanted to make a bit of small talk before the hard hitting questions. "Could we not talk about that please? I've already had a similar conversation with Lumiere."
"Oh, alright. Sorry." She apologised.
"It's fine. I know you're all eagerly awaiting news about whether or not I'm any closer to breaking the curse." He responded. "I'm just as clueless as you are at the moment."
Mrs Potts and Chip looked a little disheartened. He wished he had better news, but he honestly didn't know. He couldn't figure out how he felt or how Belle felt. It was just a mess of mixed and confusing signals.
He needed someone to talk to, someone that would just listen, and not remind of what his main goal should be, someone that didn't know about the curse. But who?
What about Philippe? He hadn't seen him since Belle introduced him. It wouldn't hurt to talk to him, he had vented to Jean in the past.
"Tell Belle I'm stealing her horse for a bit. I'm sure she won't mind." He instructed. "And make sure you use those exact words too, hopefully she'll get a laugh out of it."
And with that, he walked away and left through the front door. He descended the stairs in front of the castle and headed inside the stables.
Philippe was in Jean's old horse box. He was munching on a hanging basket full of hay when Beast entered and walked up to him. The horse pulled some strands of hay out and chewed on them as he stared Beast down.
"Hello, Philippe. Remember me?" He asked.
Philippe plodded over and put his head over the door to the horse box, giving Beast's arm a nudge. He smiled and stroked Philippe's nose. "You're right, that was a silly question. How could you forget a face like mine?"
Philippe swallowed the remaining hay he had in his mouth and sniffed at his jacket, trying to poke his nostrils into his pockets. "Whoa, easy boy." Beast told him, pushing his head away. "I don't have anything for you."
Philippe looked saddened by this information. "Don't worry, I'll bring you a carrot next time." He promised, giving his nose another stroke. Phillipe's eyes lit up at the mention of a carrot.
He patted Philippe's neck with his other paw. "Would you like to come for a walk with me? Stretch your legs?" He asked him.
Philippe bobbed his head up and down, which Beast believed was him nodding. "Yeah, I agree, you can't stay cooped up in this stall all day." He replied, taking the latch off the door and opening it up. Philippe immediately walked out of the stable, leaving him to close the door, before quickly following after him.
It didn't take long to catch up with the horse, as he was only outside by the steps. "Philippe, when I asked you if you wanted to walk with me, I didn't say you could wander off."
Philippe just turned his head to look at Beast, and then shook himself. He rolled his eyes at him "Come on, let's go you." He told Philippe, taking a few steps in front of him. "I could show you the frozen lake, Belle seemed to like that."
Philippe started to walk off in the complete opposite direction as him. "Or we could go wherever you feel like." Beast muttered, quickening his walking pace to catch up with Philippe again. "You want to see the fountains, huh? Alright, we'll walk there and back."
Philippe had rather big strides, so Beast had to match them to remain at his side. It was a rather easy task. Philippe bowed his head as they walked through the snow, while Beast placed his paw on his neck and ran his fingers through the horse's mane. "You know, Philippe, I've been thinking about Belle a lot lately. I can't get her out of my mind."
Philippe didn't make a sound. His ear just twitched. "There's something about her, she's just... It's beyond words. Whenever I see her, whenever I'm around her, I can feel my heart beating so fast, like it's going to burst out of my chest and leap up into my throat. I get butterflies in my stomach, it's like its being tied in knots, and when I'm talking to her I can hardly speak. And when I'm with her... I'm not afraid. I'm not scared of what's going to happen to me, all of my fears and worries just... Melt away, and I actually feel happy." He vented to him. "Isn't that crazy?"
Philippe bobbed his head up and down again. "I haven't felt like this towards anyone before. What would you even call it?"
Philippe let out a small neigh. "You're right, I shouldn't expect you to know the answer to that. You've probably never experienced this kind of feeling before. After all... You're a horse." Beast responded. "I'm talking to a horse..." He muttered, realising just how stupid of an idea this was. At least no one could see him acting like a fool.
Philippe let out what resembled a grunt and flicked his head up, which Beast took as him being offended. "Not that there's anything wrong with being a horse. I find it easier to talk to you than the others. Plus I don't have to worry about you giving me some advice on how to woe Belle. You don't care about any of that, all you care about is getting fresh hay and water. I'd rather be a horse than this... Thing. I'd rather be anything else, really."
Beast sighed "There are a lot of people counting on me, Philippe. I don't want to let them down. But I don't want to force Belle into loving me, nor force myself into loving her."
They stopped beside the fountains, and Philippe approached the frozen water and licked the ice. "Be careful, you might get your tongue stuck." Beast warned him.
The horse tossed his head back and pawed at the ground with his hoof. "Why are you even trying to drink that water? You have a bucket of water in the stable."
Philippe seemingly lost interest and turned to walk back in the direction they came. "Oh you want to go back now? Fair enough."
Beast quickened his pace again and got in front of Philippe. "Has she said anything to you about me, Philippe? Anything at all?" He asked him, staring directly into his eyes and stroking his nose. "Do you know how she feels about me?"
Philippe shook himself and snorted. "No? I thought she might have said something, as she wouldn't have to worry about you telling anyone."
The horse walked round him and continued heading back towards the stables. Beast followed. "I want to do something special for her, but I'm not sure what. If I had known she would have loved the library so much, I would have made a bigger deal out of it." He muttered. "Do you have any ideas, Philippe? You must have some sort of suggestion. You've known her a lot longer than I have."
Philippe paused and turned his head. Beast raised an eyebrow at him and then followed the horse's gaze to see that he was looking at the rose garden. "You think I should get her a rose? ... What a good idea! She loves roses."
Philippe neighed in response and walked over to the stables. Beast hurried over and let him back into his stall. "You're a really good listener." He told him, stroking his face. "Thanks for the help, Philippe. I'll make sure to bring you that carrot I promised you as a reward."
Beast turned and left the stables, heading over to the rose garden. The flower Belle's father had picked was still lying in the snow, looking surprisingly healthy despite the fact it had been plucked from the stalk. He stared at it for a moment, before picking it up and brushing off the frost and snowflakes that covered it. This simple flower had allowed them to meet, that had brought them together.
He'd give Belle the flower her father never got the chance to give to her.
Beast walked back up to the castle, holding the rose close to his chest. He pushed the front door open and headed inside, shutting it behind him.
To his surprise, he found Belle waiting for him by the fire. She was adoring a red dress again, she seemed to have grown fond of that one, and also had her hair tied up in a messy bunch on top of her head. She probably did that to keep it out of her face while she was working. She also had what looked like a cloth tied around her belt, which was probably being used for the purpose of polishing something in the ballroom. As soon as she saw him, she pushed herself off the wall she had been leaning against and crossed the room to join him beside the door.
"I thought you were working on the ballroom." He said.
"I decided to take a break after working on it non-stop." She responded.
She glanced at the rose he was holding. He glanced down at it too, and then held it out to her. "I uh... I got you this."
"Oh, thank you. It's lovely." She said gratefully, accepting the white rose. "I'll make sure to put it in a vase and then put it on display somewhere in my room."
"You never did get that rose you wanted." He murmured.
"That's very thoughtful of you." She commented. "I thought you hated roses, though."
"I actually used to like them quite a bit." He replied. "Besides, I don't really have a reason to hate all of them, just one in particular. And a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."
He felt quite proud of himself for quoting Romeo and Juliet. Although it did feel a little shoehorned in. He would have to work on it.
She chuckled. "You really are starting to warm up to that play, aren't you?"
"Little by little." He replied. "Oh, and you left this at the dinner table." He added, retrieving the book from his inside pocket.
"I wondered where that went." She responded, taking the book from him. "Thanks for looking after it for me."
"You're welcome."
The two were quiet for a moment. Belle slid the book into her pouch and then gave the rose a sniff, taking in the scent. She smiled and looked up at him. "I saw you talking to Philippe."
A wave of embarrassment washed over him. "You did?"
"Yes. I was cleaning the windows when I saw you walking and talking with him." She replied. "It looked like you were having an actual conversation."
Beast rubbed his neck. "Well, we sort of were, in a way."
"You mean you can understand him?" She questioned, a spark of curiosity in her eyes.
"It's complicated really. The noises he makes doesn't sound like words to me, or a coherent sentence, but I can gather what he's trying to say, through his body language." He explained. "I don't really understand it myself."
"I've always wondered what it would be like if I was able to understand him. My father's had him ever since I was a little girl. I used to pretend that I knew what he was saying all the time." She smiled widely at the memory.
"Maybe I could help translate what he's trying to say for you some time." Beast suggested.
Belle smiled. "I'd like that."
He smiled back at her.
"You said the other day that you'd help me pick out some good books. Can I still take you up on that offer?" She asked.
"Of course. I'd be happy to help." He replied.
"Maybe we'll find that favourite book of yours I've yet to see."
The two headed over to the library and Belle started taking books off the shelves, putting some back occasionally, but giving them to him. She would read some of the names to him, and he would recommend either giving it to him or putting it back.
He didn't realised until it was too late that she needed him to carry all of the books she was taking off the shelves. At first, he didn't mind, it was easy carrying them, but she kept piling them on, until the books were up to his face. At this point, his arms were starting to ache, and he felt like he would drop the books at any moment.
Belle climbed one of the ladders and took another book off the shelf and put it on top of the pile he was carrying. He leaned back a bit, to stop the books from tipping forwards and sliding off.
One of the tables moved over so that he wouldn't have to tread very far, and he placed the book down, giving the table a thankful nod and breathing a sigh of relief. His arms felt like they were going to drop off.
Belle came over and they started looking through the pile, sorting through to find ones that should be her top priority to read and others that she could dedicate her time to later.
As they looked through them, Beast caught sight of the servants staring at them on the other side of the room. They were talking amongst themselves, spying on them again, assessing how he was getting on with her.
He didn't focus too much on them. He was too absorbed in the task at hand.
Beast was happy to be in Belle's company again. He found it difficult to keep away from her. He just wished he knew how she felt about him.
She glanced up at him, showing him another book she had picked out. He zoned out for a moment, her voice registered in his mind, but he was more focused on the parting of her lips, the brief glimpses of her white teeth, her slightly sun-kissed skin, and her bright brown eyes.
What secrets were hidden behind those brown orbs, that she didn't dare to share with anyone?
Maybe one day he'd find out. Just not today.
A/N - Hello everyone. This is rather excellent timing, as I didn't plan the schedule to fall on this day, but... This is going up on my birthday. I've been on this earth for 18 years. Crazy, huh? I've been writing stories ever since I got my first laptop when I was 10. I like to think that I've improved over the years! I'm sure my younger self would have loved to have read this story, if it existed way back then.
Anyway, about this chapter, I thought it would be good for Beast to share his feelings and thoughts with Philippe, as the stuff he is telling him doesn't feel like it's burden, that it won't weigh heavily on Philippe, as he is a horse. It was difficult, writing a one-sided conversation, as well as giving Philippe various reactions, as his body language has different meanings, therefore he couldn't do the same thing over and over. As for Belle and the colour coding of her dress, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I've been keeping her in the red one, because although in the remake she switches between the red one and her signature blue one, in the original 1991 version she wore her red dress (which also looked slightly pink) for a while, and stopped wearing the signature blue one at the castle after the wolf attack, and only starts wearing it again when she leaves. Little details like that are important to me.