Warnings: Er. Lots of to-and-fro-ing. And repetitions. And OOC-ness on Hakuba's and Akako's part – in fact, they're supposed to be the exact contrary than we know them in the manga.
Disclaimer: If I owned anything, I wouldn't be writing here.
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World In A Nutshell
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The alarm set off abruptly, waking her up in the middle of the night.
Aoko blinked in the darkness, not quite certain what was going on, moaned in discomfort as the incessant ringing didn't stop, and rolled on to the other side of the bed to see what the alarm clock read.
The alarm clock read 3:34. The greenish numbers shone dimly in the utterly dark bedroom. Aoko groaned and slapped her hand down on the insolent machine, bringing the trumpeting to a couac and then into silence; her ears were still ringing with the last echoes that kept bouncing off the walls.
Mentally cursing the day some nerd had invented alarm clocks and working days in general, she turned back on the other side, sank back into the deliciously warm covers, buried her face in the pillow and proceeded to fall back to sleep immediately.
-o-
The next morning the alarm set off in due time, and Aoko was already half awake.
She shut it up and made sleepily for the bathroom, stretching her arms high above her head and bending her back. As she stripped off her pyjamas and stepped into the shower she pulled the hot water wide open; she knew that only scalding heat or freezing cold would snap her out of her morning's trance-like state.
The showerhead started to pour.
Her hair tumbled on her shoulders, rapidly dripping and warm drops started to run down her spine, making her shiver. The water ran swift; it drizzled on her face, welled in her cupped hands, and slowly caressed down her skin in thin rivulets that caught light from outside the blurred, translucent panels of the shower place.
Heat increased. Steam filled the narrow cubicle, making it harder to breathe; she felt a little dizzy now, and had to lean her hand against the cool stone wall to keep herself from dozing off slightly. This was usually a sign either to add on cold water or to get out of the shower.
Her feet slipped on the wet tiled floor and she caught herself up on the washbasin. Condensation had blurred the mirror above and its surface looked soft to the touch and slightly shiny, like oxidized silver. For a second she was tempted to–
Then she was standing straight in front of the glass, fully dressed. Looking up, she caught a streak of blue in a vague trail on the silvery mirror, a gleam of black locks – for some reason, it reminded her of Kaito.
-o-
By the car park, her keys were no longer in her pocket.
She would be late now, she thought irritatingly, checking she hadn't forgotten anything else, and made to turn back – but didn't achieve the move for a hand dangled said missing keys down in her face from behind.
"Forgotten something, haven't you?" Kaito's amused voice said in her ear, so close that his breath brushed against her hair. She glared a little; an instinctive response due to years of teenage teasing.
"I–"
The keys were in her hand. She looked around.
The parking was empty.
-o-
"You don't look good, Aoko-chan," was her superior's greeting when she arrived to work.
"Oh, hello to you too, Akako-chan," Aoko said ironically, sitting down at her desk and smiling at her high school friend. "I'm so glad to see you too, thanks so much for caring, I'd no idea you'd missed me that much–"
Akako's hands laid none too gently down on the desk. "I mean it, Aoko-chan. You don't look good. Are you ill or something? Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to come today if you're not feeling well, you won't be doing any good work in a sick state…"
"I'm alright, Akako-chan," Aoko assured her under her superior's suspicious look. "I just didn't sleep quite well last night, that's all. Bloody alarm clock started ringing at half-past three–" she considered telling her about Kaito in the parking, then resolved on not. Knowing Akako, anyway, she would probably guess what the matter was about in a matter of seconds. "So what's the schedule today?"
"Management threw a fit again," her friend answered automatically. "Some bloke up on third goofed up with the archives and now they want us to type in all the Account dossiers again… it's him, isn't it?"
"… who?" Aoko stubbornly picked up a folder and started leafing through it, refusing to meet Akako's gaze. They'd had this conversation thousands of times before, and she wasn't ready to have another. She launched her Account program on her screen and sighed. "I think somebody else goofed up here. Look at those entries – I'm sure they went farther than August the fourth. That's six months ago."
"You sure you picked up the right safeguard?" Akako typed for a while and sighed as well. "That would be Akira. I told him a hundred times not to play with this program… he's gone, Aoko. Thinking about him won't make him come back."
"How'd you know that?" Aoko persisted. "You can't be sure… we have to get a password for this program. If anybody can come in and play, we'll never get anywhere."
"We already have a password. I dunno if we can change it… I know it's no good saying that, Aoko, but you'll never get anywhere if this goes on."
"If it's no good saying it, why do you bother?" Aoko hissed without turning her head. Akako knew her enough to know she didn't really mean to sound so angry. Besides, she did the same all the time… Her friend sighed and said no more.
-o-
Hakuba met her outside just as she came down the steps into the street at lunchtime. It had started to snow.
"Aoko-chan! What a coincidence – I was just thinking about you…"
Aoko sighed for the thirty-fifth time that morning. She had learned to stop believing in coincidences when it came to the half-brit officer. He worked with her father in the police building just opposite the street, and had been for a few months asking her out about twice a week, never sounding dejected by her refusing point-blank every time.
"Coincidence indeed," she said, passing past him and stuffing her hands in her coat pockets. It was cold; there was condensation on the car windows parked there. Automatically, she thought she'd have trouble starting up her engine if it froze over the afternoon.
"What about going to eat with me?" he asked, catching up with her. "I know a pretty good prairie restaurant just down the street – and it's warm there," he added, noticing with a slight smile her reddened cheeks and muffling scarf.
"I just came down to buy stamps," she lied. "I hardly have ten minutes."
"Oh," he said. "Well, then, there's a ramen store in the avenue over there – it's quick and good. I'm sure you'll like it. C'mon."
"Hakuba-kun." He turned back to her and she bit her lower lip nervously; better get on with it now and never come back on this, right? "I won't be able to eat with you today." He opened his mouth and she hastily added, "Nor any other day. We, er – we're having a problem with the archives – some guy made a big mess of them – anyway, it's a lot of work and trouble and I can't be allowed to absent myself from my office too long." She had never thought all this mess they were in might help her out of any awkward situations, but there it was.
"… I see." He looked so disappointed, so childish too, almost like a rueful puppy, that Aoko couldn't help but feel compassionate. The situation was going too rapidly between her hands, like water welling and running…
"I'm sorry, Hakuba-kun. I'm really sor–"
POOOON.
Something changed and Aoko snapped back into focus.
POOOOOOOOON.
She jumped on her seat and clasped the wheel so tight it hurt, steering wildly to the right as some mad car rushed at her at full speed. She skidded in a long slide on the street's gravel to get out of the way before the collision, and immediately cut off the engine, panting with surprise.
The other driver passed her without slowing down, shaking his fist at her and screeching something probably very kind and gentle but which she didn't hear. She unclasped her hands from around the wheel, staring at her palms where the tightly-grasped rubber had left red marks. Her car? Why was she in her car?
She'd been at work and…
She glanced at the clock above the control panel. The greenish numbers showed 9:15. It passed to sixteen as she watched and she ran her hand in her hair, trying to comprehend the situation. Her beeper starting off startled her, but it was only a short, typical message from Akako asking her why she wasn't yet at work.
'Some guy messed up with the archives. Move your rear over here.'
She sent back, 'Traffic. Be right there,' but something was wrong. She looked up at the front window. Snow was just starting to fall, the thin snowflakes swirling down in the breeze and melting on the glass. Above the sky looked soft to the touch and slightly shiny, like oxidized silver.
"Aoko."
Something changed and Aoko snapped back into focus.
"Aoko, wake up." Kaito's voice was soft in her ear and his hands shook her shoulders gently. "You'll be late for work if you sleep on."
"Grfmm. Five more minutes…" she yawned, stretched a little, and curled back into the deliciously warm covers, tugging them back up to her chin. Kaito laughed softly and his fingers caressed her cheek, extracting a half-smile from her lips.
"C'mon. Get up…" He pulled the covers down a little and she caught them back with a pout, eyes still closed.
"But I don't wanna…"
"Aoko?"
Silence. Aoko let go of the blanket's hem slowly, finger after finger, and kept her face in her pillow, breathing a little harder than she should have. It was cold suddenly. She uncurled under the sheets and rolled slowly on her back, straightening up on her elbows to take a look around.
There was no one in the bedroom save for her.
This time she took her shower ice cold.
-o-
"You don't look good, Aoko-chan," was Akako's greeting when she arrived at the office.
No shit, Aoko thought, sitting down at her desk. "Just tired. What's today's plan?"
"Some bloke messed up with the archives," her friend said with distraction, still staring at her rather worriedly. "We have to start up all the Account dossiers again from the fourth of August – are you sure you're just tired?"
"Yes," Aoko said, calling up the program. The screen was blank. She typed in more keys. The screen stayed blank. It looked soft to the touch and lightly shiny, like oxidized silver. "Damn it."
"You should take the day off," Akako persisted. "It's okay for me. I can take care of those till tomorrow morning – you look like you badly need to rest. C'mon. Go back home, take a long nice bath, watch a movie–"
"Akako-chan…"
"Keep calm," Kaito ordered, his arms encircling her waist from behind. He pulled her up against his chest and she let her head drop on his shoulder, sighing deeply. He was warm, his hair tickled her cheek a little. "Stay with me."
"Aoko-chan?" Hakuba asked anxiously, and Aoko snapped back into focus.
"I… what did you say?"
"I asked you if you'd like to come to that prairie place with me… you're okay? You looked like you were going to pass out for a moment here…" He made a motion forward as though to take her hand, but she snatched it back mechanically. "… well, do you want to or not?"
No, said Aoko's brain.
"Yes," said Aoko's mouth. "Why not?"
That Hakuba was surprised was an understatement. In fact, he looked positively thrilled. "Really? Great! Follow me, it's not very far – they have this potato and mushroom purée that's particularly in these days, and their desserts are everything you can hope for – in a strictly western sense of course–"
Aoko let him ramble on. It had stopped snowing, but the cars they passed were covered in frost, and the sky was a lighter kind of silver, the sun shining dimly above the buildings.. An icy breeze picked up as they crossed the street, freezing Aoko to the core – she stuffed her hands farther down in her coat pockets and buried her face into her scarf up to her nose.
The prairie place was indeed warmer than outside, but she was irresistibly taken with the urge of getting out of it at once. She looked at Hakuba discussing the pros and cons of window seat versus radiator seat with the waiter, and knew she couldn't stay. Oh, god, Kaito…
"Hakuba-kun…"
"Hm?" He turned back with a wide grin illuminating his face. "Are you worrying about the note. Don't worry – my treat–"
"… I can't stay."
"What?" his face fell in an instant, lips trembling a little. He really looked like a puppy. "But… I thought…"
"I know," Aoko pressed on. "I'm so sorry. But I can't – can't allow myself to – I'm sorry. I shouldn't even be here. I – you – I was only coming down to buy stamps," she explained desperately, and fled. She wrenched the restaurant door open and tore outside in a whirl of her scarf – the wind slapped her face and stung her eyes so hard tears ran – outside in the blinding light of the winter sun–
Stay with me.
-o-
The alarm set off abruptly, waking her up in the middle of the night.
Aoko blinked in the darkness, not quite certain what was going on, moaned in discomfort as the incessant ringing didn't stop, and rolled on to the other side of the bed to see what the alarm clock read.
The alarm clock read 8:88.
The ringing didn't stop.
-o-
She found herself awake as suddenly and soundlessly as though someone had just slapped her dream self to awareness. The bedroom was entirely light, the winter sun's light filtrating through the thin curtains and reflecting on the white walls like endless fields of snow. The bedsheets were very white as well, cool against her naked skin.
There was nobody else in the room.
What…
She fastened the sheets around her figure like a robe and stumbled to her feet. The room swayed a second and then came to a standstill. Aoko tightened the cloth around her bust and waist and wandered into the living room after a quick peep into the bathroom, looking for traces of occupancy.
The living room was completely empty.
So was the kitchen. She flicked the lights off again and strayed back into the living room, which had about as much light to it as her bedroom. Long sunbeams shone through the windowpanes, drawing thin, elongated rays of silver across the parquet's slits. Outside, the sky was satin-like and soft to the touch… Aoko brushed her fingertips on the table, the bedsheet around her smooth as silk, loosening and falling down on her back, tumbling in folds and folds like long waves of white, falling, falling…
"Maa, what a sight in the morning," Kaito said from behind her, his grin etched in his voice. Even without looking, she knew he was leaning against the frame of the kitchen's door, with his arms folded and his head tilted just that way which always made her think of a purring cat granted with its favourite kind of milk.
"Pervert," she smiled, turning to him.
The doorway was empty.
-o-
This time Hakuba met her directly in the parking lot. He held her car door for her and waited until she had come out before speaking out a long, rasping speech.
"AokochanIwantedtoaskyououtforthepartytonightbutofcourseifyoudon'twanttoIunderstandperfectlyyourfeelingsperhapsyoualreadyhaveacavalierbutifyoudon'tpleaseletmebetheonewho'lltakeyoutodanceIreallywishyoutocomewithmeitwouldgrantmegreatpleasurebutI'dquiteunderstandifyousaidnosoyoumustn'tcareformyfeelingsfirstbutyours."
He paused for breath and Aoko stared at him.
"… pardon?
"Err – I wanted to know if you'd come with me to the party tonight," he elaborated more coherently, but that still didn't make sense to her.
"What party?"
This time it was his turn to stare at her. "The party. The police's party. Didn't your father tell you? but no – I told you about it myself – I've been telling you for months on end, hoping you'd understand my hints, but if somebody else asked you, of course I'd quite understand you'd have to comply to your prior engagement…"
"I don't have – what is this all about?"
His stare increased, and he took hold of her arm. They were walking out of the parking lot and just looking up mechanically Aoko saw the sky over their heads, overcast and a grey sort of silver. It was starting to snow.
"It's the party celebrating Kaito KID's arrest, of course."
Blink.
"Who?"
-o-
"You've forgotten me, haven't you?" Kaito asked, from his sitting position on the couch. The fabric was as deep a blue as his eyes and stood out against his black shirt and jeans. Aoko brushed her fingertips on the table, the bedsheet around her smooth as silk, loosening and falling down her back, tumbling in folds and folds like longs waves of white, falling, falling…
"I… don't know."
"… don't go."
But it was too late for that, as well.
-o-
"Go home, Aoko."
Aoko looked up at her friend, finding it difficult to lie to her. "I'm fi–"
Akako's hands slapped down on the desk's surface. "I said go home. You're in no condition to go on working here today, you haven't been here for an hour and you already look as though you were going to faint. We'll handle the situation here, we can miss a person – so go. Back. Home."
"I…" Aoko sighed. "I'm not sure."
"I am. Now, come on." While talking she pulled her up and towards the lifts, catching her bag on the way. "You'll have a nice long bath and sleep, and you'll wake up in the morning feeling much better. You got the keys of your car? Here you go. Outside. Put your coat on. Lord, I feel like I'm your mother – or your older sister – hell, I don't care. Go on. I'll call you in the evening."
Aoko half-smiled at her through the glass door – it was no help resisting now – gave her a small wave of the hand, and left. It was snowing stronger, and people pushed past her muffled up in their heavy coats and scarves. An icy wind picked up just as she reached the parking lot, swirling the snowflakes in a strange dance behind her.
Akako was right, she thought, coming down the stairs. She needed rest, and maybe a bath too. She felt dizzy, on the verge of nausea – but it was better already than it had been inside the closed-up office. She breathed deep while crossing the parking to her car.
The driver's window was blurred in condensation. She rubbed it off and unlocked the door, hoping against hope that the engine hadn't frozen. Surprisingly, it kicked up with the first contact. She slowly pulled up and started out of the parking lot, stretching her fingers stiff with cold around the wheel. Outside, the sky looked soft to the touch and slightly shiny, like–
"So…"
Aoko blinked.
"This is goodbye?"
A strong drizzle of hot water sprayed on her face, almost blinding her. She spluttered and waved her hands in front of her face, trying to avoid the splatter and her bare feet gliding just so on the slippery tiles. Moving her head and lowering her hands, she stared.
She was sitting in her shower again, wet clothes soaked against her skin.
-o-
"Akako-chan? yes, it's me. I don't think I'll be able to come today, sorry. I'm, err… tired. A bit sick I suppose."
"You called a doctor?" Akako's worried voice echoed strangely through the deforming receiver. " You really choose your day, we're having a big crisis in our hands here… seriously, is it bad? Are you alright?"
"Fine. It's okay, really. I just need to rest today."
"Hmm. Just be sure to be at work right on the dot tomorrow. And take care of yourself today, it's probably the last day off you'll have in a while, seeing the mess we're in right now. We're gonna need everybody who can help, I can't tell you… be there tomorrow or I'll come and smother you myself."
"Love ya too. I'll be there. Thanks."
"You're welcome. See you tomorrow."
"Bye."
Aoko set the receiver down, thinking. Akako had sounded more worried than she let on. Huddled on the couch in her pyjamas, she stared at the window – it snowed hard, and the sky was darkening so fast that if she hadn't known better, she'd have though there was a storm coming up. She wasn't even sure she could have made it to the office if she'd come out in her car.
She let herself fall backwards and felt the sofa's soft fabric against her cheek. Images swirled in and out of her mind like mockingbirds, escaping her every time she tried to grasp at it – Kaito handing a rose to her, Kaito flipping her skirt, Kaito kissing her teasingly, Kaito coming out of the shower with his hair wet and hardly a towel on, Kaito leaning down to her over the couch's back, Kaito smiling at her in the morning.
Kaito.
…
What had happened to him again?
… don't go.
But it was too late for that.
She was standing at the window, looking out. The snow was falling so hard and thick and the sky was so dark she could hardly see, dimly making out forms and shapes out of the blurred shadows. Condensation formed on the glass where her breath touched it. It was probably cold.
Arms slipped around her waist from behind and pulled her up against a strong chest. There was another breathing here, just against her ear. Even without looking–
"So…"
Aoko blinked.
"This is goodbye?"
-o-
Aoko stared at the tombstone in front of her.
Here lies Kuroba Kaito
He will be loved and regretted
May he rest in peace
Aoko whimpered, hid her face in her hands, and cried. It had been two years since the news had come to her, but she had no idea what had happened during that lapse of time. All that mattered was now, and here, and Kaito… oh god, Kaito…
"Aoko?"
A hand laid on her shoulder. A young laugh filled the air. "It's time to go home now, Aoko…"
Aoko blinked. She was sitting in her car again.
"Kaito?"
WAKE UP.
-o-
Something changed, and she snapped back into focus.
Ocean blue eyes stared back into hers.
Looking round, she saw she was in an airport terminal. He was in front of her with his jacket held up on his shoulder by two fingers, sporting a kind of tired, lopsided smile. There were bags at his feet and her breath caught in her throat, no, no, she couldn't live that again he was going to leave her again and she didn't want dread and tears and need and fear fear fear–
DON'T LEAVE ME!!
"Aoko. Aoko?"
He was leaning down to her now, smile gone. Instead there was a strange gleam in his sky blue eyes, the feel of something changing in these long avenues, the feel of something different, something silky and soft to the touch, and her breath caught again, though not for the same reason.
He wasn't going away.
He was coming back.
"Kaito…" was all she managed before he smiled again and kissed her gently, shutting her up. He was warm and tender, the way she remembered him being; his hand on her cheek, fingers caressing the skin delicately; his scent and taste and touch all around her and it felt like a long-lost rain slowly brushing you past.
Lips against hers, he whispered, "Wake up."
-o-
(… and it was a kitten, after all.)
-o-
The alarm set off abruptly, waking her up in the middle of the night.
Aoko blinked in the darkness, not quite certain what was going on, moaned in discomfort as the incessant ringing didn't stop, and rolled on to the other side of the bed to see what the alarm clock read.
The alarm clock read 5:56. The greenish numbers shone dimly in the utterly dark bedroom. Aoko groaned and slapped her hand down on the insolent machine, only to find that didn't stop the incessant ringing, which came in fact from her vibrating cell phone on the row of shelves.
"Who…?"
Kaito's name was blinking on the screen, but she picked up only to hear ragged breathing. "Kaito? Hello? Kaito?"
"… –oko…"
"Kaito? Are you okay? what's going on?"
"I … shot… need… call a – couldn't remember the–"
"You've been shot?" Aoko almost shrieked, clutching the phone in both her hands. "Wait – wait, I'll call a–" she looked around frantically, looking for her house phone. It was in the living-room, she remembered, rushing into it. "–where are you?"
"Park … the park in front of–" he was cut by a cough and Aoko almost felt her heart leap with fear. "–clock tower…"
His voice was fainter and fainter. "NO – no, stay with me – hold on – I'll make the call–" she almost heard Kaito chortle weakly (as if he could NOT hold on). She listened hard to his rough breathing in one ear while calling a hospital in the other and giving the indications to the receptionist.
"We'll be there in a few moments," the woman said, in a thoroughly irritating calm voice. "Please keep the injured awake – don't let him sleep." And she hung up.
Aoko grasped the last thread of control she still possessed in the situation – she pressed her cell phone to her ear and urged Kaito to speak to her again. "W-what happened? Who shot you? Did you see them? Kaito, please, speak to me…"
Then she stopped, because her voice covered Kaito's. "… Snake …"
Hadn't he said he'd been shot? Was he delirious? "C'mon, Kaito, stay with me. It's going to be alright, don't worry – just speak. Don't go to sleep, hear me? Don't sleep – what did the snake do?" she asked desperately.
"… I ran into him… didn't recognise me… went after him… he thought I was my father again–" he was caught in a fit of coughing again, "–couldn't escape… that's how he killed him too–"
None of this made any sense to Aoko, but she let him speak, and prompted him to speak more when at times he stopped, just rejoicing in his voice getting firmer and his breathing never going fainter, and never hung up until she heard the ambulance stopping and the medics gathering around Kaito.
One of them told her the name of the hospital they were taking him and she assured him in her shaking voice she'd be there as soon as she could, but as she put the phone down she just sat on one of the living-room chairs, dazed.
She thought of the tombstone she remembered and Akako and Hakuba and the KID party and her shower and her car and the notice of his death and no no no more please let it not be so please let me not forget him, no, it's all wrong, no, no, NO!!
But Kaito's ragged breathing and faint heartbeat were still throbbing in her ear, and she figured that maybe – maybe – it would be alright.
They would be alright.
Outside the window, the sun was starting to rise.
-
I have NO idea where all that came from. The end was supposed to be a very nice little thing with Aoko waking up in Kaito's arms and warmth and everything, and at some point it mutated into that melodrama act. Muses are mystery.
The '… and it was a kitten, after all' thing was a shameless extract from Lewis Caroll's Through The Looking Glass. Yes, I'm addicted. Still. ;)
About last chapter – many cookie-shaped thanks to the lovely people who took time to review and vote for their favourite AU. So here are the results (altered at the last moment by katiesparks's vote, aren't you ashamed, girl? now I have to recalculate everything… aah, I'm just glad you voted anyway x3):
#1: the 'arranged marriage' scenario wins easily. (Predictable, aren't we?)
#2: the 'enemies' scenario, 'dying smile' one and 'café' one are tying up.
#3: the 'new neighbour' one, 'stuck in a closet' one (what exactly where you thinking of while voting, hmm?) and 'train' one are tying up also.
Some people seemed to think they only had ONE vote possible… actually you could do as you wished. So far as I'm concerned, I like the idea of writing plenty. nn
Seeing that I'm leaving today on vacation and will be absent from for a month, you won't see me until late August – with a lot of AUs to post. Happy (and cookie-filled) holiday to you, minna!
Ja! –gives cookies–