"So," Yamcha smirked, staring Baba down up on the platform. "Let's go. I hear your lunch is getting cold!"
Goku munched away happily on one of the sandwiches that Kagome had pulled out of her bag shortly after joining them back down on the ground. She'd been fussing at Krillin to eat one of the roast beef ones for a couple of minutes, arguing that he needed to get his iron count back up - whatever that meant.
"You go, Yamcha!" Pu'ar cheered around a mouthful of tunafish. "Knock their lights out! Kagome, are there any more of these?"
"Sure thing," the priestess confirmed, tossing her one. "Hey Baba, did you want one?"
The fortuneteller stared down at her for a second, stomach growling. "... Is there perhaps any deviled ham?"
Kagome shook her head wryly and rooted around in her bag for a bit. "I don't think so, but there's ham salad."
"Good enough," the old woman nodded gratefully, floating over and accepting the food. "This will at least tide me over until I can get back inside," she huffed, returning once more to her place above the arena.
"ENOUGH!" Yamcha screamed impatiently. "Let's get on with the fight!"
"Don't worry!" Pu'ar called. "I'm saving you some chicken salad!"
The eldest boy groaned. "Look, are we gonna fight or what? Bring out my opponent!"
"Careful, my friend," Baba snickered around a bite of her own sandwich. "Pay attention; your opponent is already here!"
The teen's eyes went wide and he immediately looked around. "Huh? W-where?"
"I say it again: you boys need to stop looking with your eyes," Kagome scoffed.
"I don't see anyone!" Yamcha barked at her irritably.
Goku was starting to get the feeling that those two didn't exactly get along so well. He didn't understand why not, but he wasn't in a hurry to get in the middle of it either.
"That old lady can't be trusted!" Krillin huffed.
Suddenly, Upa gasped. "Look at that!" he announced, pointing at...
"Uwaaah," the tailed boy gaped. "That's weird! Your opponent is a bug?"
"A bug?!" the teen repeated, seeming offended. "Ugh, maybe Kagome should have just taken this one after all!"
The priestess in question scowled. "Asshole."
"Of course it's not a bug!" the fortuneteller shrieked.
"And all this time I thought you didn't have a sense of humor," Yamcha snorted. "Come on, Baba, joke's over!"
"Do I look like I'm capable of humor?!" the old woman scowled. "Hey, Brown Eyes. The reason you can't see your opponent is because he's invisible!"
"What?!" the eldest boy yelped.
Goku blinked twice. "What's invisible?" he wondered.
"It means something that can't be seen," Kagome explained, handing him a bottle of water and another sandwich. "So hopefully tall, dark and pig-headed knows how to fight with more than just his eyes, or it's going to be my turn again sooner than I'd expected."
"Shut up!" the teen shouted back at her.
Goku just laughed and tore open the packaging on his food to keep eating. It was almost funny how much they bickered with each other.
"Let the match begin!" Baba yelled, interrupting them.
Yamcha immediately crouched into a defensive position, his attention back on the ring.
"Kagome?" Pu'ar chirped worriedly. "Why don't you like Yamcha?"
The priestess sighed. "... Honestly? I guess it's because he reminds me a bit of my ex. It makes me twitchy."
"EH?!" the cat and Krillin both gawked.
"E-e-ex?" Pu'ar squeaked.
Kagome nodded silently, gaze distant though her eyes didn't leave the platform. "Though I suppose we weren't ever officially together," she murmured. "Maybe it would be better to just... call him an old friend, or something..."
The tailed boy frowned and wiped his hand off on his pants to reach over and take one of hers with it. She jolted a bit, turning to meet his gaze with wide eyes. He grinned up at her reassuringly, and breathed a quiet sigh of relief when she visibly relaxed and gave his fingers a grateful squeeze.
Suddenly, a voice laughed. "I'll give you a guess which hand I've got behind my back. Is it the left?"
The teen let out an "Oof!" and lost his balance, quickly regaining it.
"Or the right?"
Again, he cried out as he was thrown backwards to land on his back.
"Oh, no!" Pu'ar wailed. "Yamcha!"
The eldest boy pushed back up into a sitting position, shooting a glare around the ring. "Show yourself, you lousy coward!" he growled, voice a bit weak and shoulders shaking.
Baba laughed.
"Stop trying to find him with your eyes and use your other senses, idiot!" Kagome yelled at him as he retook a fighting stance only to get thrown back out of it.
He lashed out behind him, but hit nothing. "And just how do you suggest I do that?!"
She groaned and palmed her face as he continued swiping punches and kicks aimlessly through the air. "What did I just suggest? You have other senses, genius!"
The teen ignored her and continued swinging.
"I don't get it!" Goku admitted. "How is he supposed to fight someone he can't see?"
"He's not!" Krillin growled. "That's the point, it's dirty fighting!"
"The first step would be to stop trying to use his eyes," Kagome sighed tiredly. "Like I've been trying to tell him from the beginning. Listen for the opponent, maybe even wait until you're hit to grab hold of them since they just showed you where they are... In your case, Goku, you could even try and smell them out. Not all of his senses are being deprived, just his sight. There are a million different ways around that."
"That's it!" the bald boy suddenly shouted.
"What's it?" the tailed boy questioned.
"Go find Master Roshi and bring him back here!" Krillin instructed urgently. "And Bulma! We'll need her, too!"
The priestess shot him a look. "You didn't hear a thing I said, did you?"
He blinked up at her. "You said something? Anyway, Goku, just go!"
"If you say so..." the tailed boy agreed slowly, turning his attention skyward and calling for Nimbus. He hopped up on the cloud and took off without any more questions.
Later on, he was going to have to ask Kagome more about that 'using your other senses' thing. It sounded really handy.
xxxx
Kagome groaned. For about five seconds, it had seemed like Yamcha was finally using his ears - and then Baba started belting out some serious caterwauling.
"Wait," Krillin blurted out. "I know! Go, invisible guy!"
"Hey!" Pu'ar hissed at him. "We're rooting for Yamcha, remember?!"
"Stop, Krillin!" Upa demanded.
"Yeah, Invisible!" the bald boy just continued. "Win!"
The man laughed, sounding pleased and immediately giving away his position to the teen - who, of course, quickly rushed in to exploit it and land a few hits on his opponent, sending the other fighter flying.
"That's more like it!" Krillin laughed.
The priestess blinked at the boy twice, finally barking out a laugh of her own. "Oh, you are diabolical."
"Neat trick, Krillin!" Pu'ar complimented. "Go, Invisible!"
"I like your hat!" Upa joined in.
"Oh, stop it," the man demurred.
"How could you tell he's wearing a hat?" Kagome wondered as Yamcha darted in to land a few more kicks.
The smallest boy shrugged, looking embarrassed.
"Zip it, you idiot!" Baba snapped at her fighter, sounding cross. "They're playing to your vanity! Don't answer them!"
"Yes, ma'am," the man responded, voice drooping with the scolding.
Again, Yamcha moved in and smacked him.
"Your words betray you," the old mystic groaned. "Silence is your best weapon! Use it!" The fighter hurried to do so, shutting up and focussing back on the fight to start beating on the teen again. "There," the fortuneteller huffed. "That's much better."
Kagome frowned. And now the boy was getting his butt handed to him...
"Tell us how cool you are!" Krillin shouted.
"Say something!" Pu'ar yelled.
"See-through, speak!" Upa tried.
"Ha!" Baba huffed. "You're just wasting your breath, kids; that trick has been played out!"
Kagome sighed and stood up, a frown tugging at her lips as she watched more seriously. "I hope that plan of yours comes through, Krillin," she murmured. "This isn't looking good."
The old mystic started singing again.
"Hey!" the priestess shouted at her. "I thought you said that there could be no help from outside the ring!"
"Help? Who's helping?" the fortuneteller scoffed. "I'm merely marketing!"
Kagome ground her teeth as the older woman continued.
"I don't know what hurts more," Yamcha coughed as he was given a second's reprieve. "Getting beaten by an invisible man, or listening to your awful voice!"
Baba grinned darkly. "I can make the pain end right now; just give up!"
The teen growled weakly. "What, and miss the next verse? No way!"
"Krillin!" Goku shouted with a laugh, finally flying in on Nimbus with Roshi and Bulma both (screaming) in hand. "I'm back!"
"Well, it's about time!" the bald boy retorted, sounding relieved.
"Huh?" the old mystic blinked. "What's this?"
The trio landed quickly, Bulma crashing on her rear as the other two landed on their feet without any trouble.
"Alright!" the blue-haired girl growled, pushing herself upright. "Someone had better start talking now! What is going on, and why have I been dragged into the middle of it?!"
"Nice feather," Roshi sighed, noticing Upa. "What's this about?"
"I know how much you like games, Master Roshi," Krillin explained. "I just wanted you to come watch Yamcha, that's all!"
They both turned their attention to the platform.
"Uh... you brought me here to watch Yamcha dance?" Bulma demanded. "I don't know what you're up to, Yamcha, but this is not my definition of a good time!"
"I promise I'll explain everything in a second!" Krillin promised. "Now just stand here. And Master Roshi, you just come stand over here for a second!" he instructed, moving the old man in front of the blue-haired girl. "Kagome, would you mind coming over here and standing next to Bulma?"
The priestess watched Krillin curiously, waiting for him to go through with whatever it was that he was planning, and moved to do as she was bid. "If this doesn't serve a purpose, I'm going to revoke your lunch privileges."
The boy swallowed visibly and gave a nervous laugh.
"Yamcha is no king of dance," Bulma ranted. "But anything is better than this!"
"Not from where I'm standing!" the bald boy argued, his place right in front of the two girls between them and the old pervert. "Alright! Master Roshi, please give me your undivided attention!" he requested.
"Don't get pushy," the master harrumphed. "This had better be good!"
"Now here they come!" Krillin announced, jumping up on the edge of the platform. "We're only gonna get one shot at this!" He paused for a moment, letting the fight get closer... "Okay, now!" he shouted - and Kagome could suddenly feel her hakama get yanked down, just as she saw the collar of Bulma's top pulled below her breasts.
Roshi let out a scream, a torrential nosebleed shooting out behind them.
The priestess gave a loud shriek and quickly pulled her pants back up, Bulma fixing her own clothes beside her. With a growl, she completely ignored the fight and lifted Krililn up by the back of his shirt. She was just glad that her underwear hadn't gotten yanked down as well, but that (and the fact that she could hear Yamcha winning) still wasn't enough to make up for the fact that she'd just had her legs flashed for anyone to see.
... Again. At least it hadn't been something entirely inappropriate like getting walked in on when she was bathing. Again.
"Pray," she growled.
"W-w-wait!" the boy squeaked.
"Oh, don't get started without me!" Bulma snarled, crowding in beside her.
"I understand you're upset!" Krillin shrilled desperately. "But I just want you to know one thing! I love you!"
They both smacked him upside the head.
"Wait," Goku spoke up as Kagome dropped the bald boy, "which one of them?"
He stumbled around a second, tongue hanging out and his eyes crossed. "Y-yes...?" he stuttered uncertainly.
"Boy, you've got some nerve pulling a crazy stunt like that!" Roshi barked, his nose still covered by a handkerchief.
"Forgive me, Master," Krillin winced. "I was just trying to help Yamcha..."
"It was reckless!" the old man scolded, leaning in to add a low, quick "And I loved every minute of it!" and pat the boy's head approvingly.
The girls both gave a short growl.
"Your team is clever," Baba praised them. "But! That won't save you from my remaining forces!" she laughed.
Finally, Yamcha turned around. His eyes widened. "Bulma! Master Roshi! I didn't know you were coming!"
"Neither did we," the old hermit admitted, giving a quick 'v' with his fingers.
The blue-haired girl huffed and looked around. "This is a strange setup for a fortuneteller. Krillin! Is this Fortuneteller Baba's?"
"That's right," the bald boy confirmed.
"I see," Bulma hummed. "Well if her business is telling fortunes, why's she got you guys fighting in an arena?"
"Actually, Baba's doing us a big favor here," he explained. "You see, normally it costs a lot of money to use her services."
"So... she takes it out of your hide?" the girl deduced sarcastically. "That's a bargain..."
The old mystic sneezed.
"If you can't afford to pay her fee, she gives you the option of battling her six fighters," the boy continued. "If you can defeat them all, she'll tell your fortune for free!"
"Six?" Roshi repeated. "Strange, it used to be five."
"We're having a special this week," the old woman scoffed.
The man sighed. "Yup. My sister is a shrewd business woman..."
They gaped at him.
"Hey, what do you mean by sister?" Yamcha questioned.
"I mean Baba is my older sister," Roshi shrugged.
"'My older sister'?!" the others echoed shrilly.
"You look alike!" Goku grinned. "Especially the beard!"
Kagome smacked a hand over her mouth to try and keep from laughing.
"That's not funny, Goku," Krillin scolded.
"Okay, this is weird," Bulma announced sourly. "Ugh. But that does explain why she lives in the middle of a desert."
The old man rubbed at his face with his handkerchief. "Touché..."
Baba approached them. "Well, look who showed up," she drawled mockingly. "We could have used you last week when we moved Mother! And you missed my birthday again!"
"Happy birthday," the hermit recited awkwardly.
"Master Roshi?" Krillin called, getting the old man's attention. "Since you two are related, maybe you could put in a good word for us - and she could tell our fortune without the need for any more fighting!"
"That's right!" Bulma beamed. "Family helps each other out!"
"No more fighting sounds fine with me," Pu'ar admitted.
"That sounds great!" Upa joined in, Goku nodding along in agreement.
"Really?" Kagome blinked down at the tailed boy. "I would've thought that you wanted to fight anyway."
He shrugged. "Yeah, but we really do need to revive Bora... We can always visit later!"
She nodded in understanding. "Got it."
The old mystic snorted. "Are you kidding me? For family, I charge double!"
"What?!" Roshi yelped. "You'd refuse your own brother?"
Baba smirked. "You bet!"
"Hey, sounds good to me; this is great for my training!" Yamcha announced.
"Then let's get on with it!" the old woman announced. "For our third match, we're going to need a change in scenery." She turned around and headed for the building behind her. "Follow me."
They did so, each hopping up onto the platform and trailing in a line.
Bulma, at the end of the pack, heaved a sigh. "I can't believe in my life this is normal."
Kagome heard her and barked out a laugh. "Oh, trust me - this is nothing," she assured over her shoulder. "You weren't even here for the vampire."
"The what?!" the younger girl yelped.
"So, uh, how about loaning your little brother some cash?" Roshi requested, his attention on Baba.
"You still haven't repaid the last money I loaned you!" the old woman scoffed, glancing back at him with a slight glare. "Ten zeni isn't much, but with thirty years' interest I could buy myself a new crystal ball!"
"Darn," the old man slumped. "I was hoping you would've forgotten about that..."
"I never forget," the woman huffed sourly, turning eyes back forwards. "Especially money I lend deadbeat brothers!"
"Sure," the hermit murmured weakly. "Check's in the mail."
"How old are you, anyway?" Goku questioned.
"It's impolite to ask a lady her age," the mystic sniffed.
"Right..." the tailed boy agreed. "So how old are you?"
Baba very nearly slipped right off her crystal ball, and shot a glare back at him. "Why, I never-! Who do you think you are?! You should learn some manners!"
"That means she's old and doesn't want to admit it," Kagome told him unrepentantly.
The boy blinked up at her, both ignoring the fortuneteller's spluttering. "Oh. Why?"
She shrugged. "Because a lot of people think that after you hit a certain age-"
"Goku happens to be one of my pupils!" Roshi informed the mystic, interrupting the girl and trying to distract his sister from her livid rant.
"That's right!" the boy admitted, grinning widely.
"Well, that explains it," Baba grumbled, righting herself on her perch once more.
They walked inside, the decor made up of dark colors and skull motifs. Kagome blinked up at the spiral staircase, thinking that this looked a lot like one of those fake haunted houses that got set up at festivals.
"Where exactly am I going to be fighting?" Yamcha asked as they followed the old woman up the stairs.
"In the Devil's Toilet," Roshi sighed.
"Whoa!" the boy shuddered. "That doesn't sound good at all! What is it? Do you have any advice you could give me?"
The hermit chuckled. "Yeah, sure; if I were you, I wouldn't fall in."
"Oh?" the teen murmured, seeming uncertain. "Well, thanks for the warning..."
"Don't mention it!" the old man laughed as they continued walking.
They came to a stop at the top of the landing, and Baba gestured at a large wooden door with another skull shaped into the handle. "The fighters must enter through this door," she explained.
"Alright," Yamcha agreed, still not looking entirely sure of himself.
"The rest of you climb the stairs," the fortuneteller instructed, floating further up as well. "You'll find seats at the top. Goku, Kagome, stay with me!"
"Okay!" the boy shouted, grabbing the priestess's hand and dragging her faster.
"Wait!" the old woman suddenly requested, pushing a section of wall in to show a hidden door. "Let's go in here."
The pair followed her, Kagome more hesitantly.
They came out into a large, well-furnished room that had Goku gaping. Even Kagome was impressed, and she had gotten used to the Western palace when she wasn't out traveling for her diplomatic duties.
"Whoa," the boy gasped. "That shiny thing is as bright as a star!"
The priestess glanced up, following his line of sight. "Ah, that's called a chandelier," she explained.
"This place is beautiful," he murmured, fingers squeezing her own.
Baba laughed, sounding pleased. "It's not much, but it's home," she demurred.
Kagome smiled, a bit melancholy. "It would've been nice if I could show you the citadel," she sighed. "You would have loved it."
He returned her smile with a reassuring one of his own. "Maybe someday you can."
She shook her head wryly. "I doubt it," she admitted. "But thank you."
"You can take these seats right here," the old mystic directed as they moved towards a long table.
"Okay!" the boy agreed, hopping up onto the chair at the end as the priestess took the one directly next to him. He paused for a second, his nose twitching, and he turned his attention off to the side with a relishing grin on his face. "Something smells wonderful!" he sighed.
Baba laughed again. "Indeed!" she brought her hands together, clapping. "Signal the first course!" she shouted.
A giant plate covered in meat floated in, being carried by the invisible man from before. "Certainly, ma'am," he spoke obediently, bringing the plate over to the table and setting it down before them.
Goku immediately started drooling. "This looks delicious!"
"Yes," the old woman nodded. "Go ahead, dig in!"
Kagome stared up at her suspiciously, even as her friend did as he was told and started tearing through the meal with an enthusiastic "Thank you so much!"
The priestess propped an elbow up on the table and rested her chin in her hand. "What's the catch?" she questioned.
"Catch?" the mystic repeated, a drop of sweat running down her forehead.
She just nodded, watching the woman blankly.
"O-of course there's no catch! How is it?" Baba asked, directing the question to Goku.
"It's great!" he assured around a mouthful. "Kagome, you should really try some!"
She hesitated. Well... she'd had a sandwich earlier, but she did have to admit that having something warm was appealing. Also, the boy was already holding some out to her with that expectant look on his face that said his feelings might get hurt if she declined. She reached out and accepted it, giving him a small, wry smile. "Thanks, Goku."
He grinned and continued stuffing his face.
Suddenly, there was a snap from somewhere behind them and the roof dropped open to rain bricks down on them. Before the priestess could even react, the boy was already up in the air kicking and punching them all away from the two of them.
Finally, the threat averted, he plopped back down in his chair. "Did you know you have a hole in your ceiling?" he questioned. "Oh hey, Kagome, weren't you gonna eat that?"
She blinked at him, then down to the piece of meat in her hands that he was gesturing to, and choked out a laugh. "Yeah, Goku, I'm eating," she assured between snickers, raising the food up to her lips and taking a bite out of it.
He beamed at her and continued cleaning off the plate, leaving the incident completely behind them.
Kagome shook her head amusedly and stole another piece before he could finish it all off.
xxxx
Edit: 8/27/16