Sanctuary
Humans think too much.
When humans think too much they end up shouting.
Or they end up with water leaking out of their eyes.
Life should not be like that.
I don't have nine lives – only one, just like humans.
They should not waste a single moment of their life.
Kazemaru's shadow loomed over him, a playful smile on his face.
"- yeah, he's that guy. Neku Sakuraba."
No…Kazemaru…
"Don't you get it? That Boss that you were looking for. It's me."
And then his world crashed.
"You'd think you would have figured it out. After all, you've met some of these Spirits before. They introduced themselves before, don't you remember? They're –"
Everything clicked because this was the same feeling he had experienced three years ago.
Neku finished it off for Kazemaru.
"- The Reapers."
Chapter Eighteen - Faceless
Kazemaru and Neku stared at each other in a strained sort of silence. Neku could hear frantic steps hurrying towards him and closing in quickly.
"Yo! Get away from Neku!" Beat cranked up his speed, flipping his skateboard onto the ground,riding it past the fountain and straight towards Kazemaru, fist raised.
"No!" Coco ran in front of Kazemaru, stretching her arms out and squeezing close her eyes.
"W-woah!" Beat was startled to a stop, avoiding a clash with the girl."Neku, this girl ain't a Spirit, is she? 'Cause I can see her 'an all."
"She's not," Neku confirmed. "Though she might as well be."
She stiffened and looked at Neku. "Ne-kun…" What was that? Guilt? As if.
"Coco! You didn't need to do that," said Kazemaru harshly.
She didn't say anything but she edged closer to Kazemaru, tugging at his sleeve so that he moved away from Neku. It seemed as if she could see the Spirits too because she looked between Uzuki and Kariya. "Kaze-kun, tell the Reapers to go away, then. They're scary…"
"Just because Sakuraba shows up again," he muttered, frowning.
"They've always scared me, Kaze-kun. You know that."
"Geez, girls." Kazemaru waved a hand. "Alright guys. You heard the lady. Clear off for a while. Go find out where our maths freak has gone to."
The two Spirits exchanged a look, before they both flew away, black wings beating through the wind. Neku could be wrong but Coco could have been trying to make eye contact with him. He refused to, though. She and Kazemaru were both…
"So, that's what you call your group of Spirits, hmm?" said Joshua. He and Rhyme had both caught up and joined Beat in helping Neku up, distancing him away from Kazemaru. "The Reapers? Pretty flashy. Did you come up with that?"
"They came with the name when I got them," he said with a shrug.
"Ah, is that so?" said Joshua. Neku was grateful that Joshua continued talking; he needed a moment to recover from the shock. "How interesting. May I ask another question?"
"Sure. Go ahead!"
"Where did they get the wings from? I saw another Spirit once, just a regular one, and although I couldn't convince this one to help my cause, I noticed it didn't have wings."
"I asked them about that too. It's kind of cool, actually. According to them, once they sever a Pact, their wings appear. Didn't tell me why but that's all I know."
"So that's it. I know I get mine from my Soul's instability. It's a weird side effect."
"Oh! You're the Angel-boy, then. I've always wanted to meet you. The Reapers talk a lot about you."
Joshua twirled his hair. "My, my, how flattering. I am quite the celebrity, you know."
Kazemaru blinked then laughed that laugh again. "Get a load of this guy! What's his ego like? Sakuraba, don't tell me you're friends with him? C'mon, you need to pick better people to hang out with." You're one to talk.
"Yo, who the hell are you anyway?" Beat suddenly said.
"I'm just a normal high school student," was Kazemaru's reply. "Besides the fact that I have my Reapers. If you're asking me who am I to Neku then…well, we were best friends, weren't we? You, me and Coco."
"Yes, we were," spat Neku, releasing himself from Rhyme and Beat's support.
Kazemaru continued addressing Joshua. "I was surprised as hell when Uzuki told me the name of the guy who had been giving us trouble. It's not a common name at all but I thought that it couldn't be him until today. I didn't even bother telling Coco about it, 'cause what were the odds? Guess this is fate, huh?
"But Neku doesn't talk to us anymore. Didn't even let us know he was here. I guess it's 'cause of what he did to me. He probably feels guilty. When we were in middle school, Neku was just horrible! Man, that hurt a lot! I'll tell you about it, he – "
"No!" Not again. Not again. "No, don't listen to him. He's lying."
"I haven't even said anything, yet."
"It wasn't my fault! He's lying."
Coco pulled at Kazemaru's sleeve more urgently. "Ne-kun…Kaze-kun…please…don't…"
"Lying?" said Kazemaru, paying no heed to Coco. "I don't lie. Sheesh. I just don't tell the whole truth. Anyway, it's good to see that you didn't forget about me, Sakuraba."
"I did until you showed your face again."
"Pfft. And you call me the liar. I bet you missed us, huh?"
"That's not even funny as a joke."
Kazemaru put on a confused look. "But isn't it true? I mean, just look at your new friends. They're basically just replacements for me and Coco."
"Kaze-kun…" Coco pulled again, yet he went on.
His eyes turned to Rhyme. "That girl looks like she could be Coco's twin or something." No, they don't look alike at all. Shut up.
Turning over to Joshua, he chuckled. "I guess money matters after all. Oh and this one's more subtle but Angel-boy uses wind or something? Kaze. I wonder if that reminded you of me?"
Next came Beat. "Uzuki said this one's name is Daisukenojo Bito."
"It's Beat, yo."
"Yeah. Given names suck, right? I know, I hate mine too."
"Stop it," said Neku, not wanting to hear any more of this.
"He plays soccer, doesn't he? And wow, he even has a skateboard…"
"Shut up, they're not like you. They're not."
An exaggerated sigh. "Guess it doesn't matter who you reach your dreams with. Hey, remember when –"
"Enough!" Neku shouted. "Shut up! Just shut the hell up! You think you can just get away with whatever you want! I won't let you walk all over me! I won't! If everyone else thinks I betrayed you then fine, I don't care anymore! But don't you dare bring my friends into this! They have nothing to do with you!"
His throat burned, not used to straining his voice so much.
Kazemaru whistled. "Woah. That was a lot of steam to blow off. Sakuraba – I don't know what's going on with your head right now but suit yourself. Anyway, you're wrong about them having nothing to do with me. Angel-boy is the one who was looking for me in the first place, right?"
Neku looked at Joshua, as the boy put a hand on Neku's shoulder. Joshua wasn't smirking anymore. His eyes seemed dead-serious. "Yes. We're going to sever all your Pacts."
"Direct challenge! That's the way to go!" said Kazemaru. "Sounds like you're completely ready."
"We are." It was Rhyme who spoke this time.
"An' we're gonna take you down."
"Yeah! That's the spirit!" Kazemaru suddenly laughed. "Haha, get it? Spirit." No one else was laughing. "Tough crowd, huh? Okay then, your challenge is accepted. The sooner we get this over the better. Oh but I'm not really up for it right now. So, let's settle this tomorrow - I'll be here all day. Just come along when you want to. I'll show you just how outmatched you are. Sakuraba, your Pact will be as good as gone."
He turned, starting to walk away from them. Coco stood momentarily still, staring at Neku. Lowering her head, she followed Kazemaru.
"As if we're lettin' you get away now! C'mon!" Beat was about to go after him but Rhyme stopped him. "Rhyme! He's right there!"
"No, Beat. Neku is..."
Neku was not ready.
He had been ready to go against some faceless controller of the Spirits. Not to face Kazemaru and the Reapers.
Beat must have noticed Neku's expression because he backed down. "Aight. We'll just get him tomorrow!"
Neku stepped away from Beat, facing the three of his…friends.
He started to feel a tightening in his chest. They were his friends. Right? He was friends with them because…they were good people and he enjoyed being with them and…
"They're basically just replacements for me and Coco."
And now all he could see was the resemblance they had with those two. Because no matter how small or trivial the similarity was, it was there. Kazemaru was right.
"Neku…" said Rhyme, reaching out.
Another step back.
"I can't," he whispered. "I can't go with you guys."
"You can't?" said Joshua. "Neku, I don't know what happened between you and that guy but if he did something to you, we can resolve it there and-"
"And if it goes wrong you'll blame me."
"Neku…"
"You will! I know you will!"
"We ain't like that guy."
"You're the same! Everyone's the same!"
Only hurt looks served as his response. Beat's as clear as day, Joshua's more subtle and Rhyme's somewhere between the middle.
"I'm sorry…but I just…can't…"
Then he ran.
xxxxx
He slammed the door to his flat shut, throwing himself onto the sofa and burying his face against the armrest. He hated this. Unnecessary scars from the past that he had been ignoring were now confronting him again. His past had caught up with him.
With coming back to Shibuya, he knew that this could happen but not under these circumstances. Not with all this freakish stuff with Spirits and Angels and whatever the hell else going on. Not when he had…friends…again.
If he could even still call them friends.
He knew that it was all coincidence. He never thought of irrelevant things such as appearances or hobbies as a way to compare to his former friends but Kazemaru could be so convincing. Of course…he's Kazemaru, after all.
And he just ran away from them. That's what I'm good at, huh? Running away.
Maybe it was better this way. Maybe they would leave him alone. If he didn't get involved with them anymore, then no one would get hurt – Neku wouldn't get hurt. He already went through pain before…
"Holy shi- " Speaking of pain, there was a sharp searing one in the hand that he left hanging off the side of the sofa. Sitting up quickly, he realised that it was Nimew. It was giving him the 'I'm hungry' look again.
Nimew had such bad timing. Can't it see that I'm…that I'm…
If cats could look exasperated, then that was the expression that Nimew had, as it started to lick the place where it bit him.
…that I was in the middle of feeling sorry for myself. I'm really pathetic...
He needed to calm down. Deep breaths. Breathe in…breathe out…breathe in…
"Where did we meet before just like this…" That was…"I know your smile…Your voice just like that." ...Shiki!
He took out his phone from his pocket, thumb hovering over the answer button.
…do I want to talk to her right now? He might still need some time to clear his head. Maybe he needed to be alone for a while. He…
"I'm getting played by you….Deja vu…"
I want to talk to her.
He pressed the button.
Shiki materialised in front of him and the first thing he noticed about her was that there seemed to be hints of tears that were forming in the corner of her eyes.
"Shiki? What happened? What did Kazemaru do to you?" asked Neku, alarmed at the sight. "Why couldn't you call me?"
She blinked back the tears, composing herself, it seemed, by the way she adjusted her glasses. "It wasn't that guy, Neku. He didn't do anything. It was you."
"Me?" he whispered, disbelieving.
"Yes," she said just as quietly, now clutching herself. "You had so many feelings. It was too much. I was so overwhelmed. I couldn't move and I couldn't think and there was just...such an unbearable hurt coming from you."
"Unbearable…hurt…" That much...Kazemaru and Coco had affected him that much. To the extent that Shiki was in turn affected too.
"It was unbearable…the thought of how much hurt you felt. I just..I want to help make it go away. Is there anyway I can help you?"
Suddenly he understood what she was talking about, as he started receiving her feelings too. She's feeling hurt because I feel hurt. He wanted it to stop – he didn't want Shiki to feel like that.
But it was hard to just let go. She needed to understand that.
"You…you could hear and see what went on, right?" he asked her.
She nodded slowly, sitting down as he motioned her to. The warmth radiating from her comforted him.
"I'll tell you what happened between the three of us," he said, taking one more deep breath. "They were my first real friends…"
xxxxx
Spring - Four years ago…
Neku had never been extremely sociable. It wasn't that he didn't like people but more to the fact that he preferred doing his own thing, which was either listening to music, kicking around a soccer ball or simply walking around the park on his own. It was a trait that had come about from having to shift around so much. It was difficult to make friends when he had to transfer after a short period of time.
It was when he had started middle school that his normal routine began to change.
He had been approached on the first day by two friends who were arguing whether or not Neku's orange hair was natural.
"I'm telling you, it is."
"Nu-uh! There's no way you can get orange hair like that, like, naturally," argued a girl with short blond hair.
"So which is it?" the two asked in unison, now looking at Neku.
He consciously tugged at the top spike of his hair. "It's natural."
"I told you," the boy said smugly. He gave Neku a wink. "It's 'cause Coco here knows that it's not normal for middle-school kids to dye their hair. She just wanted someone else to be the same as her so she could say," he imitated her voice, "'but sensei, I'm not the only one! Why don't you scold him too?'" He chuckled as Coco smacked the back of his head.
"Kaze-kun," she whined, "don't be like that in front of..." She stopped, realising she didn't know his name. "Oh my gosh, sorry for being so rude! We haven't done introductions yet!" She gave Neku a cheerful smile. "I'm Koko Atarashi but everyone calls me Coco." She nudged the boy next to her.
"Oh right - my name is Kazemaru. You see, I'm special and don't have a given name because -,"
Coco giggled. "Rita Kazemaru's his full name. Kaze-kun really doesn't like his given name, so he doesn't like introducing himself with it."
"That's because it sounds like a girl's name," he said, exasperated. "What my parents were thinking, I'll never know."
They stared at Neku, awaiting his own introduction. "I'm Neku Sakuraba. I guess I don't really mind what you call me."
"Oh! We should totally give you a nickname."
"In that case, what about Sakura-chan?" Kazemaru suggested with a mischievous grin, green eyes twinkling.
"Fine but then, you know, I think I'm beginning to see you as a Rita-chan," Neku said evenly.
He flinched. "Alright, alright, Sakuraba it is!"
"In that case I suppose Kazemaru will do," Neku said, sighing in mock-disappointed.
The two boys shared a grin only to blink when Coco let out a dramatic 'noooo'.
She was pouting. "...but Sakura-chan is such a cute name." Then her face lit up as if she had had the most brilliant idea. "How about Ne-kun? That's pretty cute too."
Neku and Kazemaru exchanged silent words.
'She's going to cry if I say no, isn't she?'
'No doubt. Coco will cry. Say yes, I'm begging you.'
"Sure...Ne-kun sounds…great." Although he had cringed when he heard himself say it, he would get used to it.
As time passed, he got used to a lot of new things, such as not having lunch by himself anymore, walking home together with both of them, joining the soccer club with Kazemaru. Every now and then the two of them were also forced into accompanying Coco to her cookery club.
It was strange. Something about the two just drew him towards them. They all just clicked.
He didn't mind – another strange thing.
He began to believe that maybe, letting himself be surrounded by people wasn't too bad.
xxxxx
"You might not believe me but it was my idea to join the soccer team in middle school," Neku said. "I was starting to think that practicing soccer on my own was boring, so when Kazemaru suggested that we do club activities, I suggested soccer. We both turned out to be pretty good. We made it to the regular team by our second year. We were proud of it too, since there were a lot of third years who didn't make it."
"I can imagine that…" said Shiki. "At least, I can if your plays haven't changed since middle school."
"No. That's one of the few things that hadn't changed from middle school."
He thought back on his meeting with Kazemaru and Coco. He had jet-black hair before but he dyed it to have that purple tinge to it. He wondered what the reason for that was. Coco's purple streak must have been a spur of the moment thing, he bet…
"Neku?"
He pulled himself back on track. "That's the basis of what I thought was our friendship. I thought that everything was perfect but then one day, not long after we became regulars…"
xxxxx
Spring – Three years ago…
"Wow, that looks ultra-cool, Kaze-kun!" Coco exclaimed, while Kazemaru showed off his new skateboard. It gave off a dangerous aura. It had a red coating with two black wings spread across the top.
"It's unique. The wings aren't your usual feathery type. They look...tribal. Can't think of any other way to describe them," said Neku, in a kind of awe.
Kazemaru rolled his eyes. "There you go again with that artsy crap I don't get. What matters is that it looks kick-ass."
"But Kaze-kun! Where are you gonna ride it?" asked Coco. "I can't think of any good places to board in Shibuya."
He simply waved a finger at her. "The alleyways Coco, the alleyways. Like in Dogenzaka."
Neku raised his eyebrows at Kazemaru but it was Coco who voiced the thought first, "That's super dangerous!"
"It's not 'super-dangerous' there," he said with a laugh. "Maybe 'dangerous' but not 'super-dangerous'. I know Shibuya like the back of my hand. I'll be fine."
"But Kazemaru - "
"I'll be fine, Coco. You don't have to worry about me." He gave a soft smile. "But thanks anyway." Catching Neku's eye, his smile turned casual again. "You better not get all soppy on me too, got it?"
"Yeah, yeah, I got it," he said, though he still didn't like the idea. There was no point in trying to stop Kazemaru, anyway. He did what he wanted to do.
xxxxx
"I'm worried about him," was what was written onto a note to Neku during their Maths class. He didn't have to guess who she was talking about; Kazemaru had skipped class today. Again.
It wasn't as if Neku hadn't skipped class with Kazemaru before but for the past few weeks, he had been turning up in class less and less frequently.
"He's probably hanging out with them again," he scribbled.
By 'them' he meant a group of other skaters that Kazemaru had met while on his runs through the alleyways. Neku didn't know who they were exactly but Kazemaru had told them all about them.
"They're awesome," Kazemaru had said. "A lot of them are way more advanced than me and their tricks are out of this world. It's almost as if they've all got wings; like they're flying."
Neku would call that an exaggeration but the tricks Kazemaru had shown him and Coco also looked pretty gravity-defying. Kazemaru wasn't such a modest kid as to immediately admit when others were better than him, so these people must be good.
"Let's go visit him later," Neku added decidedly, to which Coco met his eyes after reading it and nodded.
xxxxx
His parents had welcomed them both in, saying Kazemaru was at soccer practice (although Neku and Coco both knew that practice wasn't on today, with Neku also being on the team) and that he'd be back soon.
Coco sat onto his red-sheet covered bed while Neku decided to sit on Kazemaru's study chair.
They waited in silence. It was a strange thing to have when one was around someone as noisy as Coco was but Neku thought that it felt natural at the same time. After all, Neku was used to riding the conversation on the banter that Kazemaru and Coco had with each other. Now that Kazemaru wasn't present, Coco wasn't in the mood to chat; Neku didn't mind too much though, he didn't always have a lot to say.
He watched her as she gazed out the window, eyes glassed over, with her mouth turned town in the slightest of frowns. The sun was starting to set and Kazemaru still wasn't back. She let out a slow sigh, letting herself fall back onto the bed, arms spread out on either side. "Kaze-kun..."
He would never admit it but maybe Neku was a tiny bit jealous of Kazemaru. He had developed a tiny sort-of-kind-of crush on Coco, though the girl was head over heels for Kazemaru. She tried to be subtle about it but Neku thought it was pretty obvious. He didn't talk about things like that to Kazemaru, preferring to talk about the music they liked and what happened in the day but he was pretty sure Kazemaru knew Coco had a crush on him. Their feelings were mutual. Probably. So Neku was mostly fine with it, since his crush wasn't that big of a deal. It would fade, eventually, he had concluded.
More importantly…Where is he?
Just as he had thought that, he heard footsteps climb the stairs. Coco sat up straight as the doorknob turned.
"Kaze-kun! Welcome," her eyes widened as Kazemaru walked into the room,"...back."
Kazemaru's raven black hair was all messed up. His black t-shirt and cargo shorts were dirtied and torn in places. He had a few bruises on his arms and cuts were visible too.
She ran up to him, her face turning pale as she took in the sight of him. "What happened Kazemaru?"
Neku noticed his grip on the skateboard under his arm. "So you were with them after all."
Despite his battered image, Kazemaru laughed in his usual care-free way. "If by 'them' you mean my skateboarding friends, then yeah." He grinned at Coco. "And sorry to disappoint but these are all compliments of a fall I had today. It was pretty funny, actually."
Coco looked unconvinced, her face still full of concern.
He lifted her chin with his free hand, so that she was looking at him, not his injuries. "Hey, it's no biggie. I was just trying out this new stunt and obviously failed at it. I already told you, you don't have to worry about me."
The girl blushed very visibly and turned her head away. "I wouldn't have to worry if you were more careful!"
"Alright, alright, I'm sorry," he apologised, though he was still grinning. "What's with that serious look, Sakuraba?"
"Hm? Oh, I was just wondering what kind of idiot injured himself that badly while doing a stunt. Must be a really lame one," said Neku.
"Wise-ass." Kazemaru punched his arm good-naturedly. It was like everything was back to normal.
But it wasn't. The easy smile Neku had on was fake. As fake as the one Neku knew Kazemaru was putting on.
He saw through Kazemaru's mask. Coco would have too if she was not so flustered at the moment. She couldn't see that his smile didn't reach his eyes. Kazemaru wasn't that clumsy, there was no way anyone could get that cut up by a mere fall.
No, if Neku had to guess, it looked like Kazemaru had gotten into a fight. It wasn't the first time, but it was the first time Kazemaru had lied to cover up what happened.
The question was - why? Why was Kazemaru lying?
xxxxx
Neku kept close watch on Kazemaru for the next few days. He trailed him after school, on a day when he actually showed up, making sure he was at least a few metres behind him - far away enough that Kazemaru wouldn't catch on that he was being followed.
The strange thing was that nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. Kazemaru left school, walked to Dogenzaka, entered an alley and a few hours later, after Neku hung around the area, he'd come out of the alley without any new injuries.
It all pointed to him really only having an accident but Neku had a gut feeling that there was something going on.
Then one day, on a seemingly regular Thursday, that 'something' revealed itself to Neku.
He had taken it upon himself to hanging around the entrance of the alley. Looking down the alley, it was pretty barren except for the trash bins lined along its concrete, graffiti-covered walls.
At the end of this alley, it turned both left and right. He never ventured down it himself, because if Kazemaru were to turn around and head towards him on his skateboard, there would be nowhere to hide.
It was around the time when Kazemaru usually left that it happened. There was a loud, metallic crash. And then a loud agonised cry.
Neku creeped quietly along the edge of the alley, pressing his back against the wall on the left just before the turning.
"Bastard," an unfamiliar voice snarled. "You had that coming for you. You better give me cash for what you took from me, if you know what's good for you."
He heard a thump that sounded too much like a kick to the stomach.
"Hah...really?" Shit. That was Kazemaru's voice. It sounded like he was panting. "At least, I'm not some kind of," he struggled with the next word, too out of breath, "coward who fights three on one."
"It's not like there are rules to this out here, kid."
The panting stopped. Had he passed out?
Suddenly another voice spilled out. "That was a false calculation. The correct ratio is 3:2 as of now! Get ready, zeroes!"
"Shit, has he got a gun?" said the voice of Kazemaru's attacker, panic and fear apparent.
Neku ran.
No, not back to Kazemaru, to his friend's side.
He ran away.
xxxxx
"I hate myself for running away. I did it back then and I did it today," said Neku, gripping the sofa.
"…it's normal to run away...if you're scared."
"Maybe but if I hadn't, I would have avoided something bigger. I left it too late and it escalated into something worse…"
Something that would ruin his ability to trust.
xxxxx
He couldn't look Kazemaru in the eyes for the next few days. Every time Kazemaru walked into the room, Neku's eyes looked over all the additional cuts and bruises he would have and felt guilt wash over him. Unsurprisingly, Kazemaru kept up the facade that those cuts were all heroic injuries he got from being daring on his skateboard.
It was only Neku who knew the truth. Kazemaru's so-called skateboarding friends were actually some kind of gang, from what Neku had deduced. They must have realised that Kazemaru had access to money - that skateboard model he had wasn't cheap, after all - and forced him to join them with their gang fights, making him pay them while he was at it. As well as stealing for them, according to what he heard.
Neku had half a mind to confront Kazemaru about it. Only half a mind, because if there was one thing he knew about his friend, it was that he was stubborn, and never wanted any help for anything. He would probably deny everything.
He couldn't go to the adults. They wouldn't understand. They would just give Kazemaru counselling or advice-leaflets about peer-pressure or something else stupid like that. When it came to street gangs, adults didn't want to hear it, because there would be no way that their child or their student was involved with such delinquents.
But Neku had to do something. He had to make it up to Kazemaru, for abandoning him. If he didn't, Neku thought that he couldn't face Kazemaru anymore. He didn't want something like guilt to taint their friendship. It wouldn't be fair to him - or to Coco.
xxxxx
Neku walked down the darkened alley, actually taking one of the turnings, this time. The sky was covered in clouds coloured a dark shade of grey. He felt as if the buildings enclosing him on both side were acting like some sort of prison.
A prison where there were no guards - just him, Kazemaru and the gang.
It turned out that the alleyways were like a maze. Twisting and turning in all sorts of directions. Neku would have gotten lost if not for Kazemaru leading the way.
At last, when it seemed that there would be no end to the walking, Kazemaru stopped in front of a building. It looked like an old one, yet it was not being renovated or taken down. He didn't think such a building could even exist in Shibuya.
There was a clink of the door being unlocked and then it swung open. Neku tried to look into the door without being seen, but he was too far away. The door shut before Neku could even think of going in after him.
He needed to find a way of getting into the building. The windows were boarded up with planks of wood but if he could just find one with a gap in it, or maybe a back door -
"Well, look what we've got here."
Neku did not even have time to turn around before he felt an aching pain to his head and blacked out.
Later, he would figure that he wasn't out for that long. But he wasn't worried about that when he slowly twitched back into consciousness. His arms were bound by what felt like rope behind his back and he was lying on the floor. When he opened his eyes, he still couldn't see anything. That was when he realised there was a material covering his eyes - they had blindfolded him.
He was terrified, but he wouldn't let fear win this time. He needed to help his friend.
"Kazemaru!" He yelled at the top of his voice.
There was a creaky opening of a door, and then through his not completely opaque blindfold, he could tell that the room that the door led to had its lights on.
"It looks like our guest is awake," said an unfriendly voice. The stranger, grabbed Neku by his collar and dragged him into the next room. Neku gritted his teeth in pain but wouldn't shout. He wouldn't give them the satisfaction.
After a while, the dragging stopped. "Here he is, Boss."
Boss? Good, he was in front of the person in charge of this gang. The one who was in charge of causing Kazemaru so much trouble.
The guy who had dragged him roughly pulled the blindfold up over his face.
"Y- You!?" Neku couldn't believe it. The room was pretty much full of the clutter of food, the gang's skateboards and of course, the gang members themselves, all leaning against a wall, looking down on Neku.
In front of Neku sat a boy, Neku's age, sitting on a plastic chair. By the way he was flanked by two men, he was obviously a king on his throne. The leader. The Boss.
The one who Neku thought had been in danger - Kazemaru.
Neku could only gape at him.
"Cat got your tongue? I'm not surprised, who wouldn't be speechless? I've done it Neku - I made it to the top," he said, eyes glinting.
"How?" Neku finally managed. "How did you-"
"-become leader of the gang? That's an easy one. They chose me because I beat the last guy in charge. Don't bother asking me who he was, he won't be talking to me again, I think he had enough after round two."
This was a joke. A huge horrible joke that Kazemaru was pulling on him, because there was no way in hell that Kazemaru would want to be a gang leader.
"But then...what about Thursday?" He asked desperately. "The guy said...and you passed out..."
"Oh yeah, you were there. That was round two. But you seemed to have gotten something mixed up. I didn't really pass out. I was just playing along, since I knew Minamimoto was close by. I'm guessing you didn't actually see us." He smirked. "That's what you get for following me around. What? You think that I didn't know?"
Of course he thought that. He thought that his best friend was in danger, in danger of a gang, when it turned out that he was willingly part of it. He still couldn't get his head around it. This was Kazemaru. Sure he was reckless, but never like this.
"You see," he continued, "the minds of delinquents are pretty straightforward. He was bitter about his gang switching sides and came after me. He was stupid, most of them are."
Neku looked around him. Kazemaru had just blatantly insulted them. They would count as delinquents too, but no one made a move.
"I see you're still at a loss for words. Well, since you're my friend, I'll explain it in terms you can understand," said Kazemaru, leaning forward on his chair. "My parents are rich, I never have to argue to get anything. School is dull - it's all rules and regulations. Soccer is getting old. We got into the regulars pretty easily. Boring! So I tried out a new hobby, you know, skateboarding. It was during my first run that I found this place. And then it hit me, why not be the Boss of a gang? It sounded like it'd be fun. I challenged their leader, telling him that he was just scared if he refused to fight me. The idiot took the bait, and of course I beat him easily."
The disbelief Neku had started to fade, bit by bit. Hadn't Kazemaru constantly boasted about his black belt in Aikido in front of Coco? Neku had always thought that it was all talk but now…if he could take out a gang leader...
"I'm sure you're still shocked by this all but no worries. You can join us Neku, if you want to," he said. Neku stared at him, startled. Join him? "I mean, the requirements for being an actual member under me are…pretty...special." He grinned around at them, as if knowing something Neku didn't. "You could be an exception, though."
What is he saying?
"How about it? We can rule the streets of Shibuya together!" Excitement was building up in that voice. " Like kings! No one could stop us from doing anything!" And suddenly the manic look in his eyes disappeared and he returned to looking like the usual Kazemaru. "So what do you think? A pretty cool idea, right?"
Neku got up on one knee. "I think," he pushed himself to stand with his other leg, "that you," he slipped out of the ropes that hadn't been tied together strong enough, "have always talked too much."
Kazemaru narrowed his eyes. "What?"
"Well, I'm done here. I came here thinking you needed your ass saved but it looks like you've already got great friends here," said Neku, the sarcasm in his voice dripping in each word. "I don't know what's gotten into you. You can do what you want but don't involve me in it. If you hurt yourself, it's on you."
He heard a movement to his left as someone stepped forward but Kazemaru raised a hand, stopping him. "No, it's cool. I get it." He really did seem fine with it, albeit slightly disappointed. "The exits behind you so if you want to leave..."
They regarded each other for only a moment, before Neku turned to take his leave. If he left now then he could go and talk to Coco. She would definitely snap him out of it.
He reached for the door handle when he heard Kazemaru say it.
"Don't get in my way."
He heard a rush of steps and a kick from behind, slamming him against the door.
"Kazemaru-" he choked out.
"No one who's not a member leaves here unharmed. Not even you."
He didn't want to believe it. "Let me go," he gasped, struggling from under Kazemaru's foot.
"Sorry, Sakuraba, no can do. If word gets out...well, that would be tough for me."
So that was it? Not only had Kazemaru chosen this over him and Coco but he had gone so far as to attack Neku to keep him quiet. His intention was clear: to beat Neku to a pulp, so that he'd be too afraid to tell anyone.
There was a word that came to mind:
Betrayal.
With all the strength he had, Neku pushed off the door with both hands, making Kazemaru lose his balance, stumbling backwards. Taking this opening, he swiftly turn to kick his side.
"Boss!" Yelled one of his grunts.
"I said, don't interfere," Kazemaru barked, clutching the side where Neku kicked him. "It's getting interestin' now. See Ne-kun, you can do it. You're strong, just like me."
"Don't group me together with you," Neku spat. "And you know what Kaze-kun? I bet Coco would just love to see you like this."
The punch came out of nowhere, one second Kazemaru was at least a metre away, the next he was right in front of Neku, fist towards the side of his head. There was a bruise there now, surely.
"If she hears about any of this, you'll be sorry," he threatened.
"I'm already sorry," he threw back. "Do your worst."
But his worst wasn't what he expected.
Kazemaru reached behind his back, pulling out a gun. A gun.
Neku's blood ran cold. Shit.
The room went silent, as Kazemaru pointed the gun at Neku's head. It was almost point blank, there was no way he'd miss.
"Kazemaru, you wouldn't-"
"-I would," he interrupted, unlocking the safety.
There were no more chances left. Kazemaru had truly turned his back on Neku. He was willing to almost certainly kill to play this insane game of his.
But Neku wasn't willing to lose his life over Kazemaru's wishes.
Like he would do in a soccer match, Neku pushed into a slide, tripping Kazemaru. His head crashed against the concrete ground and he went still, gun clacking out of his grip.
For one terrible moment, Neku thought he had killed Kazemaru but kneeling down, he saw that he was still breathing.
He then remembered the rest of Kazemaru's gang, who had been so quiet that he had forgotten they were there. He braced himself for them to start to attack him but no one moved an inch.
"You're lucky to be able to see us. You've sure got some Soul," one spoke up, after removing the lollipop he had been sucking on. "Hey, how about becoming our Boss?"
No loyalty. That's what Kazemaru ditched him for.
"Take him home," Neku said, keeping his voice as steady as he could. He was sure, by the looks of it, that some of them were old enough to drive. "I want no more part in this…gang."
"If that's what you want. Calling us a simple, nameless 'gang' is a bit off though."
"Then what are you called?"
"The Reapers." The lollipop-man looked Neku in the eye. "We are The Reapers."
Neku nodded slowly and backed away towards the door, before sprinting the hell out of there.
He didn't stop until he got home.
He couldn't believe he was still alive after that whole ordeal. If he had made one wrong move, Kazemaru would have killed him...or maybe his gang would.
It was the strangest gang he'd ever heard off, Neku realised. They all had some kind of hood that stopped Neku from seeing their faces. They had taken orders from someone younger than them. They hadn't been rowdy during the fight, on his orders. Once their leader had been defeated, they wanted to shift to the next, no questions asked. The Reapers - they frightened him.
xxxxx
Shiki had covered her mouth, lowering it down as Neku took a pause. "So…the people who were there were the Reapers from today."
"Yeah…Now that I think about it, they did say some weird things. I never really gave much thought about their words until now. I guess I was involved with all this mysterious stuff even before I realised it." There was one more chilling thought. "I don't understand how it came about but when Kazemaru ended up being a 'gang boss', what he really became was the Boss." They were going to switch to me.
Neku shook his head. "I thought they left Kazemaru alone after that. Guess they couldn't, because of their Pact." Kazemaru having a strong Soul, after all his knowledge now, was not unthinkable.
"I can't believe I never realised it…Maybe it's because I was trying to forget about the incident so much…" If he had linked the Spirits back to Kazemaru they would have found him sooner. "And because of that history repeated itself."
"Don't say that, Neku," Shiki urged. "You didn't see their faces, right? And it sounds like they were hiding their wings, so of course you wouldn't suspect anything supernatural. Besides, you can't think strange if your best friend turned out to be…that."
"I guess…" Putting it like that did make him feel a little better about not realising. "The incident was one of my worst experiences but I think what he did later was what…changed me…"
xxxxx
Tell somebody. Don't tell anybody. These two opposite decisions battled it out in his head.
'Someone needs to know', the first idea argued. 'No one will believe me', went the second one.
As he lay in bed that night, watching the time tick by, Neku felt dread well up in him. He would have to tell Coco eventually. Since he had skipped school before, she wouldn't be surprised he wasn't in school that day but if she called him and he didn't answer for too long...
She would ask Neku. And he couldn't lie to that girl. She had already been manipulated by Kazemaru enough as it was.
He would tell her straight - Kazemaru was even more injured because he had been involved with a street gang and got beat up in a fight. He was still not going to school, not because he was skateboarding, but because someone knocked him unconscious. And that Neku was the one to knock him out because Kazemaru had tried to kill him.
xxxxx
As Neku walked through the school halls that day, he noticed that everyone grew silent and shrunk away from him. As if they were scared of him. He was used to being ignored but no one was ever scared of him.
Neku stopped, stock-still at the door-frame of his class.
Kazemaru was in today. Head-bandaged, looking battered and worse for wear, but he was here.
Girls were crowded in a small circle around him, and when they saw Neku, they went into a hush, glaring at him.
"Disgusting..."
"Scary..."
"His best friend..."
The girls parted so that Kazemaru could see who had come in. The moment he set eyes on Neku, his eyes widened, and then he looked away.
"Look, poor Kaze-kun's completely afraid of him..."
"That monster, who would have thought?"
Neku walked to his seat, and everyone moved out of his way, not wanting to be near him.
And when they weren't looking, he met Neku's eyes once again. And smirked.
That cunning bastard. Neku should have seen it coming. Kazemaru made sure to arrive early today. How he managed to convince his parents to let him out, looking like that, Neku didn't know.
But he managed it and he walked around class, looking like, as Neku's minds-eye could imagine, a defeated hero. And he spread rumours - like wildfire. Kazemaru knew best how girls loved to gossip, especially if it was about how their precious Kaze-kun got hurt. By Neku, his own best friend.
He had turned the school against Neku even before he had stepped out of his house today.
It didn't help that Neku had scratches and bruises of his own, on display for everyone to confirm their rumours on.
He wondered what exactly Kazemaru had told them – there were many options to make up, and Kazemaru could pull off all of them. That Neku had bullied him into giving him money, and he, standing up to a bully, refused and paid the price? That Neku beat him up because Coco loved Kazemaru and he was overcome with jealousy? Something close to what really happened, but with Neku as the attacker instead? Whichever it was Neku could tell one thing...
Coco stayed by Kazemaru's side, looking at him with wide-eyed worry, not saying a word to Neku as he had passed her.
...Coco believed Kazemaru too.
xxxxx
Life shifted from being normal to being hell on earth. He was shunned by the girls, shoved into lockers by the boys and even the teachers, though more subtle, treated him with spite. But no one had asked him what had happened. It seemed like Kazemaru had managed to convince everyone that Neku had done him wrong, despite the many inconsistencies in the variations of the stories going around about the incident. If anyone found that something was off, they ignored the feeling, because it was just more convenient for Kazemaru's story to me true. It's not a lot of people really liked Neku anyway. At least, in comparison to Kazemaru. Since they didn't like him, it must be true.
He hated how everyone was so easily tricked into believing him but he hated even more that Coco believed him. She was Neku's friend, too.
Neku caught Coco by the arm one day as she was about to leave school.
She stiffened at his touch and everyone around held in their breath.
"I just need to talk to you," Neku said as quietly as he could. "It...it didn't happen like...whatever Kazemaru told you."
She stayed silent.
"Please, just give me a chance to explain myself." Neku was pleading. Really pleading. She was his only friend, and he didn't want to lose her.
"...Okay."
He did it! He wanted to smile, but when she turned around to look at him, he saw the obvious doubt in her eyes.
"I guess you want to talk alone?"
Neku nodded once.
"Alright."
He let her lead the way, to an empty classroom, where they could have some privacy.
She sat on one of the tables and Neku followed he suit, sitting on the one opposite her.
"...Kaze-kun's...really hurt, you know?" She said slowly. "It's not just about his injuries."
Despite the rage Kazemaru filled Neku with, he knew he was treading on glass. He needed to show a bit of sympathy.
"I know...I didn't want to hurt him. But on that day-" and it came tumbling out of his mouth. Each and every horror and feeling of betrayal that he had experienced.
He talked and as he did, he watched as Coco's doubt started to fade from her eyes, little by little.
"I don't want to believe it," she said once he was done, looking down at her knees. "Kaze-kun..."
"Me neither, but that's the truth," said Neku solemnly.
She finally looked up at him, into his eyes for the first time in two weeks. Neku tried to put in his sincerity as he looked back at her.
It looked like he was almost across the bridge he had to build towards her.
She lifted a hand and touched the side of his head. "Is that where Kazemaru-?"
The door was flung open.
Kazemaru stood at the door - face filled with pure(ly fabricated) pain. "Coco...you-? And - Sakuraba?" He made a show of looking at the hand touching Neku's face.
"No!" She denied vigorously, retracting her hand and jumping away from him. She denied what Kazemaru was implying. That she and Neku - "no! It's not like that. There's nothing between me and Neku."
"Really?" And his voice was so full of pretentious hope that Neku felt sick. "I-I know it's none of my business...but I want to protect you and it's just...I don't want you to get hurt like I did."
She glanced at Neku, looking torn, because she almost believed her story but Kazemaru wanted to protect her.
Kazemaru brushed a hand through his hair, though Neku saw him linger for a tiny second more when he passed the bandage. Then, as if he had worked up a lot of courage he looked up again. "I know this doesn't mean anything to you, but it's because...I like you."
Neku swore that he heard Coco's heart skip a beat.
"You...do?" She asked uncertainly.
Kazemaru smiled at her bashfully. "Ever since sixth grade."
This was it. This was what Coco had wanted to hear for so long, she couldn't hold herself back. She ran up to Kazemaru, enclosing him in a tight hug. "I love you, too."
"I'm sorry to interrupt this sweet moment," Neku spoke up, voice icy. "But that's the thing. It would be sweet if the person you're hugging wasn't someone who tried to kill me."
Coco gasped, as if he had slapped her.
"Enough," said Kazemaru, voice full of venom. "I wanted to be your friend, Sakuraba. I really did. But we liked the same girl and you know what? I was okay with that. But you weren't, were you? You wanted her all for yourself and so you tried to scare me. You did this to me." He pointed at his head. "I won't sit back and watch someone like you take the girl I love."
Screw Kazemaru. Screw the way he had said that, as if that was part of a script taken straight from the hero of romance novel. Screw how taking advantage of Coco's feelings for him just to continue wth his lies.
"Stop with all this bull-shit. All of us here know the real reason you have those injuries-"
"He's right!" It was Coco. "Enough Neku."
Just like that, just as he was almost there, Neku fell down as the glass shattered beneath his feet.
"I never wanted you to do any of that. Over...someone like me." Regret. He heard it. She blamed herself for this.
"I didn't! Sure I did have a small crush on you," he admitted because he had nothing but the truth on his side now, "but I would never beat Kazemaru because of that."
It was as if she couldn't hear him. "I thought we were all friends but..." Her voice trailed off and she sounded genuinely sad, because now she completely believed in Kazemaru, and that meant that Neku was a bad person who she shouldn't stay friends with.
"Please...don't bother Kazemaru again," she begged him. It was the tone that someone who begged for her life would use.
Was she stupid? Did she not think how stupid the idea was that at this moment of time, Kazemaru would just go 'declare his love' for her without any secondary motives? Was this what happened when people were controlled by their emotions? Did they just lose all reason and common sense?
Was any of this even worth it?
He gave up. At that moment, he gave up on the two of them. Not on just them - on everyone. Everyone in the school, students and staff alike because no one believed in him.
He was less than nothing to them. He shoved past both of them to get out of there.
"Fine. Just stay out of my way."
And he decided he wouldn't care.
Caring didn't seem to do good for anyone.
xxxxx
"Not long after that, I transferred away to Hokkaidou," Neku finished. It was a welcome transfer, for once. He was glad that he was able to get away from those two. The cold weather suited him – it helped numb the burning pain that he tried to get rid of. The cold managed to freeze over his heart while he was there.
It seemed like coming back to Shibuya was all it took to melt it again, though.
But…that's okay now. It did make him feel better to talk it all out. It was like chains that he had been held back by were broken – he had not told anyone about this before.
He glanced over to Shiki who really was crying now.
"H-hey!" He told her all this to try and get over it and he thought he was getting there but she cried anyway.
"I-if that happened to me and Eri I don't know what I would have done with myself…" said Shiki. "And yet you still made friends with me and Beat and Rhyme and even Joshua. And I feel so bad for pestering you from before because of course you wouldn't want to make friends with anyone if all that happened and…"
"You're talking about me as if I'm one of those characters from your TV dramas…"
"That's it! That's exactly it!" She wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "You're that hero that everyone misunderstands. I hate when that happens." Hero, huh?
"Sheesh, stop crying. This 'hero' is recovering, thanks to you all, so you don't have to worry about it. Wait, why am I the one doing the cheering up?"
Shiki managed a smile. "'Cause you can't act sad yourself if you're trying to comfort someone."
"That's true. Thank you, Shiki." More than anything, the connection from Shiki to him told him that she truly just wanted him to stop hurting over the past. That in itself gave him courage.
He got up stretching his arms out.
He felt oddly refreshed. He would sleep on it and decide what to do tomorrow. That sounded like the best plan of action.
Just as he was about to hang up on Shiki, the doorbell rang.
Who could that be?
He walked over and opened the door.
"…Coco!?"
A/N: Tadaa! Flashbacks ftw. This took me longer than expected…I thought it wouldn't take me that long to get this chapter out because I already wrote the whole flashback arc back before I even first published this fic. Turns out that I needed to make some adjustments due to me changing my mind about some things as this fic went along. I expect you guys will have new questions after this whole chapter, hehe. You're free to ask questions in the review but if I don't answer them, it's probably because I'll explain it later on.
I was actually planning on splitting this chapter into two parts but then I thought splitting off in the middle of the flashback arc will probably confuse you guys even more and that certain confusion I thought was unnecessary so that's why you got this long one.
Thanks to RaptorMJ for favouriting this~
Thanks to those who reviwed: CirciFox81314, RagnartheSemiGreen, cutekitty5597, B.A.G-GOMEZ, Faliara, I'll Break Your Heart, Xerzo LotCN, Chronic Guardian, Prussianess, Shinra-ex-SOLDIER
Primo: It's alright, it's meant to be a little disorientating. Now you know how Neku felt –shot-. If it confuses you too much about the phone thing, just think that since it's the phoneline for Spirits it has different rules. Also about Neku's previous jerk-i-ness, he was really cold before. But I hope this chapter served to say why.
guest: Nope. But he did appear in this chapter xD
Yolo: Firstly, I love the guest name you used xD Yep. Sh*t happened. In the flashbacks. Whoop.
Jt: Lol if this became an anime that would be freakin awesome. Seeing stuff you write animated would be awesome in any case xD No, thank you for all your support ;-;
Lucky: It's updated :D Well, if you're reading this than of ourse it is –shot-
Chocolate Kiss: It's here, it's here xD I'm glad you love it ^-^ Makes me happy to hear that! Oh, and no I haven't. I'm not a Joshua x Neku fan but maybe I'll check At the Core out, since you've suggested it. X3
Woah, there were a lot of guests this time around. Thanks for dropping in :)
Also - 200+ reviews WHAT. WHAT. GUYS THANK YOU. I LOVE YOU ALL. NO SERIOUSLY. I'm going to go give you guys a present for being such wonderful readers.
Ahem, aside from that - thanks to everyone else reading!
- Dina (10 November 2013)
Content Notes:
Aikido – A Japanese martial art.
Koko Atarashi a.k.a. Coco – It occurred to me that maybe some of you might not know who she is. Maybe. Anyway, she's a Reaper from TWEWY Solo Remix. She's not a Reaper in this fic but yeah. Just google her if you don't know what she looks like.
Rita Kazemaru – I got the 'Kazemaru' of his name from Inazuma Eleven. That's a soccer anime/game. (Soccer for the world! Rewatching Inazuma Eleven = procrastination. xD)
Chapter Nineteen – Decision
It's funny how my lollipop gave me away.
"You have to save him!"
Still, your reaction was pretty funny.
"They say time heals all wounds…"
This means that we might have to fight.
"We're here."
What a chore…maybe I'll leave it to the others…