AN: A lighter chapter before part of the truth comes out; it's Connor's birthday.
My thanks to my ladies, MeteorOnAMoonlessNight, Midnight Cougar and ghostreader24 for helping me to make this chapter good.
I also want to thank every reviewer; I promise I read every single one and love them all. Thanks also to followers and favoriters; I'd love to hear from all of you, too.
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters and I still haven't found a way to own Edward Cullen.
Deceit and Destiny Chapter 17
I called Alice to let her know I had a few extra hours off, and she arrived an hour later to decorate the backyard with lights and balloons. Mom had promised to keep Connor amused until later in the evening, and with the curtains drawn across the large rear windows of the house, it was unlikely he'd guess the lengths we'd gone to in making his fifth birthday party a fantastic experience.
Jake had made sure he was home that evening, and together we checked over the bike, trying to devise a way to wrap it, and had spent a couple of genial hours wrapping the rest of the things I'd purchased the previous weekend. It didn't escape my notice that he'd not added anything to the pile of presents, but I chose not to say anything—it was enough, for now, that he was there and would be the following day.
Mom brought Connor home after they'd had dinner, and because Dad had tired him out, he was in bed and fast asleep within thirty minutes. I was emotionally and physically exhausted after my lunch with Didi, and all its revelations, and chose to go to bed not long after him. With a kiss goodnight on the cheek, Jake told me he was popping down to the bar for a beer and promised he wouldn't be too long.
The forecast for Saturday was warm but with cloud cover. There was rain predicted for later that evening, but there was always a chance it would arrive early, so we had a contingency plan in place with indoor games.
I woke next to Jake, thankful that, for once, he'd returned home as he'd said he would. Connor was awake early and burst excitedly into our bedroom.
"Mom, Mom! It's my birthday." He squealed and threw himself onto the bed, eliciting a groan from Jake, who was buried under the covers.
"I know, sweetheart, and you can have whatever you like for breakfast. Come on, get off your dad. Why don't you choose what you want to wear, and I'll be there in a few minutes?"
There were only two days a year he was allowed anything he wanted: Christmas and his birthday.
"Yes!" He fist-pumped into the air, leaped off the bed, and sped out of the room. I could hear his bare feet thundering back to his room.
"I'll call you when breakfast is ready, Jake, okay?"
His voice rumbled from where he was hidden under the covers, and I assumed it was a thank you.
In the bathroom, I splashed water on my face and brushed my teeth before dragging on underwear, an old T-shirt, and a pair of jeans. I headed into Connor's room, to find he'd obviously dressed and already gone downstairs. He was walking around the dining room table, with wide eyes, poking and prodding at the pile of presents in the middle.
"Can I open them, Mom, please, please?" His excited, dark-brown eyes looked up at me. I always found it hard to say no to the pleading voice and nodded.
"How about you choose two for now, and bring them into the kitchen?"
He nodded enthusiastically, picking up and shaking various wrapped packages before putting them back in place as he tried to decide which ones to open now.
"What do you want for breakfast, Connor?" I called from the kitchen.
"Can I have chocolate-chip pancakes, please, Mom?"
It was his favorite breakfast and I knew it was what he would choose, so the ingredients were ready to go. I put together the makings for coffee, and turned on the burner, placing a pan on a low heat. Having finally chosen his two presents, Connor came into the kitchen and placed them on the table.
"Would you like to help me make these, Connor?"
He dragged a chair across the floor and climbed up beside me, and together we mixed them up ready for cooking. I allowed Connor to add a generous helping of chocolate chips into the mix and I poured some into the pan for the first ones.
"While these are cooking, sweetheart, why don't you run upstairs and tell your dad breakfast is ready?
"Okay, Mom." Jumping down off the chair, he ran from the room, the sound of his feet thundering up the stairs a few seconds later. I smiled at his exuberance; he seemed to do everything at breakneck speed these days. It made me tired just watching him.
Five minutes later, he was back. "Dad's getting up now, Mom. Are they ready yet?"
"Thanks, Connor. Yep, sure are. Grab yourself a fork and hop up to the table."
It didn't take him long to plow through three pancakes and drink a glass of milk by which time Jake appeared in the doorway, already dressed. He ruffled Connor's hair and took his seat.
"Happy birthday, Connor. What have you got there, son?" He lifted his chin at the two presents on the table.
"Two of my presents, Dad. There are lots more. Can I open them now, please, Mom?"
I nodded and he ripped into the gifts, dropping pieces of paper on the floor. "Mom, Mom, look at this?" He held up a set of figurines with a vehicle based on the Paw Patrol cartoons he often watched on Saturday mornings.
"Why don't you open your cards, too, Connor?"
At that moment, the doorbell rang. I'd arranged for a local company to deliver and set up a bounce house in the shape of a dinosaur, so I showed them around the side of the house to the backyard where they were to situate it. I turned around to see Connor's excited face on the other side of the door, his hands leaving sticky fingerprints on the glass. I left the men to their job, and slid the now unlocked patio door open, stepping inside.
Connor was already hyped-up for his party this afternoon, and it took me a while to get him calmed down enough to wash his hands and face and brush his teeth. Eventually, he followed me down the stairs, and I headed into the kitchen to clean up after breakfast. I was only gone ten minutes and found Connor running around the table, chanting, "It's my birthday," over and over, while Jake watched him in amusement.
"Connor," I called. "Calm down, please, you'll make yourself sick. Come on, how about we open the rest of these presents?"
"Yay!" he yelled. I took a seat at the table, and on his next run round, I grabbed him, settling him into the seat next to me.
Being a rip-it-open type of unwrapper, it wasn't long before he had a pile of toys, games, and books in front of him, and the floor was littered with paper. While he was checking each one out, I nodded to Jake, who headed out toward the garage.
"Connor, your dad and I have another present for you."
I held out my hand, though he was too excited to hold on for long. He jumped up and down, readily following me to the garage. After having taken what seemed like hundreds of pictures already as he unwrapped his gifts, I switched to video to capture the moment he saw his first grown-up bike.
Connor's eyes lit up at the sight of the untidily wrapped present. It wasn't difficult to see what the mysterious package was, but he had a great time, uncovering the bright, shiny blue bike.
"Mom, Mom, Mom! Look!" Connor yelled at the top of his voice. "It's exactly what I wanted! Yay!"
Reminiscent of something Alice might do, Connor bounced around while touching every part of the bike, ringing the bell, squeezing the brakes, and gripping the handlebars.
"I can see, sweetheart." I leaned against the wall, amused at his antics and watching the two of them talking about the various parts of the bike. "How about you and your dad take it out for a spin?" I suggested.
The suggestion was greeted with another shout of happy agreement. Despite Jake and me making sure the bike was ready to go, he and an excited Connor still spent an hour making sure the tires were pumped up, the brakes oiled, and the training wheels were fitted correctly. I handed Connor the Cars-themed bike helmet and helped him to tighten the under-chin buckle. He also had some elbow and knee pads, and although I could see Jake thought it was overkill, I didn't want my baby's first experience of a bike to be marred by skinned knees and elbows.
I left them to it, Jake helping Connor to use the pedals and to steer the bike in the right direction, and headed back inside, then out into the backyard where the contractors were just finishing inflating the bounce house. I signed the paperwork, and after showing them out, returned to the kitchen to start the preparation for the food for this afternoon's barbecue.
Didi had happily closed the office for the day, canceling all of our appointments, so she and Aro could take the time to come along to Connor's party. They were due to arrive around two this afternoon. Mom and Dad would likely arrive at the same time when Dad and Aro would set up the grill outside. Jake preferred to spend his time drinking with his buddies to grilling food.
Ten of Connor's friends would be arriving around three after which the guys from the garage should start showing up. Embry, Sam, his wife Emily, and their two kids, Brady, Jared, and his wife Kim. Alice and Jasper, Angela and Ben, and Jess and Mike would also be arriving.
It was three-thirty by the time everyone arrived, and I was finishing making sandwiches, and dips, and had prepared the meat for the grill. Connor rushed in, full of the bike-riding lesson with his dad, and proceeded to eat a bag of chips, four cookies, and drank two glasses of lemonade. I hadn't felt well throughout but managed to finish all the preparations, leaving the guys to man the barbecue.
Mom and Dad arrived bringing the cake I'd ordered from the bakers with them. It stood in the middle of the dining room table, with five candles, waiting to be lit and blown out. The noise from the backyard was loud, with screams from the boys and girls mixed with the laughter from the adults.
A developing headache, with a return of the nausea of last night, pushed me to hide in the living room for a while, away from the noise, which was where Mom found me.
"Hey, sweetheart, I wondered where you'd gotten to. Aren't you feeling well?" She sat beside me, placing a hand on my forehead as she'd done many years ago as a child. "You aren't hot, so I don't think you have a fever."
"It's just a headache, Mom. A dozen kids and almost as many adults in one space had me needing a little quiet for a few minutes."
"Did you take some Tylenol? Can I get you a drink? Some chamomile tea, maybe?"
"Camomile tea would be great, Mom," I answered. "And the Tylenol, too, please? I'm sure I'll be as right as rain shortly. We can cut the cake, then Connor can open the rest of his presents. I'm sure he's dying to do that."
"He's too busy running around screaming like a banshee at the top of his voice in excitement." She laughed.
Getting to her feet, she smoothed the hair off my forehead before going to fetch the tea and Tylenol. She returned a few minutes later, and by the time I'd drunk the hot beverage, the painkiller had done its work, and I was feeling much better.
As I stepped out onto the deck, Connor raced toward me, flinging his arms around my legs.
"Mom, Mom, Mom! The bounce house is the best, thank you, thank you. Can I open the rest of my presents? Can we cut the cake?"
"Woah, Connor, slow down. I can hardly understand you."
His excitement was contagious, and I found myself laughing along with him at his exuberance, my headache forgotten.
"Come on, then." I looked around for Jake and scowled when I couldn't find him. "Where's your dad?" I asked.
He shrugged. "He went out the gate with Uncle Embry."
Again, Jake was missing at one of the important times in Connor's life, though I suppose I should've been grateful he'd at least managed a morning. I raised my voice a little to let everyone know we were headed indoors for the cake.
Jake and I would definitely be having that talk—sooner rather than later.
Jake was absent for the rest of the present unwrapping, the lighting and blowing out of the candles, cutting the cake, and for the remainder of the evening. Inside, I was feeling absolutely furious. How could he disappear from his own son's birthday party?
With the return of my headache and a recurrence of the nausea that had plagued me for the better part of two days, I just wanted everything to be over. Mom stood with me to hand out the little gift bags Connor and I had made up for each of his friends as they were collected by their parents.
At last, the day was quiet and Connor was lying on his stomach on the sofa, his eyes half-closed as he watched the Cars movie for the umpteenth time. He was surrounded by piles of gifts from his friends, my friends, and family, his stomach full of cake. I hadn't the heart to insist on a bath tonight, though he needed one. His knees were covered in grass stains, and his face was sticky with milkshakes, sweets, and the icing from his cake. I said goodbye to the girls and their partners with Mom and Dad the last to leave.
"Where did Jake disappear to?" Dad asked.
"No idea, and I'm not sure I care; Connor said he left with Embry. He'll come back when he's done whatever it was he wanted to do, as usual."
Dad raised his eyebrows at the acerbic tone in my voice, but closed his mouth sharply when Mom dug her elbow into his ribs, giving a nod to where Connor was lying in front of the television. He didn't appear to be listening, but often repeated things back to me I hadn't been aware he'd heard.
Once my parents had gone, after having gotten a mumbled thank you and goodnight from Connor, I wandered into the kitchen, inordinately pleased to find that my friends had cleaned up and loaded the dishwasher for me. I looked out into the backyard, to find they'd done the same outside. I slid open the patio door and double-checked the grill had been switched off, not that Dad would've left it on. It needed cleaning, but that could wait for the morning.
Anger flared again at the thought of Jake disappearing, but it was too exhausting to hang onto and I shook it off, returning to the kitchen. I poured the remainder of the lemonade into a glass, and settled into my usual seat on the porch swing, leaving Connor to finish up watching his movie.
I couldn't fathom what Jake's problem was, or what he was thinking. Why was it so hard for him to give Connor his attention for longer than a couple of hours? If I hadn't known the truth, one could almost believe Connor wasn't his. As the sun slid below the horizon, leaving the backyard in twilight, I sighed, drained the last of the lemonade in my glass, and headed indoors.
It wasn't something I could solve by myself and that would have to wait until after a good night's sleep.
Connor was asleep on the floor, his movie finished, leaving the blue screen on the television the only light in the room. I moved the two diggers clutched in his hands and heaved him up into my arms. It wouldn't be long before he would be too heavy for me to lift, especially when he was asleep. I had a momentary pang for another baby, a little girl maybe. I sighed knowing it was unlikely to be part of my near future, but I could still dream.
I trudged upstairs and laid Connor on his bed. Slipping off his shoes and shorts, I covered him with his comforter, and leaned over and kissed his forehead, smoothing his hair in much the way Mom had done for me earlier today.
"Goodnight, sweetheart," I murmured. "Happy birthday."
Flicking on his nightlight, I pulled the door closed and headed downstairs to shut everything off before retiring to bed myself, despite it being only nine o'clock.
~ oOo ~
The slamming of the bedroom door closing jolted me awake. "What the fuck, Jake?" I hissed.
"Sorry," he whispered. "I didn't realize it was so late."
"You shouldn't have been gone, anyway. It's your son's fucking birthday, so couldn't you have at least stuck around until he went to bed? Where were you anyway?"
"Embry and I went to the bar, met up with a couple of guys from the other side of town, and one drink led to another then another. Sorry, Bells."
I made a point of looking at the clock. "What? Until three in the morning?"
"Well, we kinda got into a game of pool, and then someone suggested we get some beers from the gas station, so we ended up at Embry's place. It's no big deal, Bella, come on. Connor didn't even miss us. We hangout together all the time. Why are you complaining now?"
He'd had more than a few of those beers, from the way he spoke, so I didn't bother answering him and turned over presenting him with my back, I pulled the covers up over my shoulders, determined not to get into it right now, but tomorrow, I swore to myself, the gloves would be off.
I felt the bed dip behind me as Jake climbed in, but, childishly, I completely ignored him, eventually managing to drift back to sleep.
When I opened my eyes the following morning, Jake had already left the bed, though I did hear his voice from downstairs, rumbling as he talked to Connor. I looked at the clock in shock, realizing it was almost ten; it had been years since I'd slept that late.
Luckily, Didi had been happy for either her or Aro to take the only client we had booked today, so that left me with the rest of the weekend off. I did try to protest, but she wouldn't budge, telling me to spend the time with Connor.
By the time I'd showered and washed my hair, and made it downstairs, there was coffee on the counter and the kitchen was clean and tidy. I checked the dishwasher to find two cereal bowls, some flatware, and a couple of mugs, so I knew at least Connor had eaten breakfast, and surprisingly, Jake had cleaned up.
There was no sign of either of them in the backyard, and the house was quiet. Opening the front door, I could see Jake running beside Connor, who was on his new bike. He'd already mastered riding with the training wheels and it wouldn't be long before he was ready to take to the sidewalk without them; he had no fear of trying anything new. I couldn't help but smile as I watched them both, hearing Jake shouting words of encouragement to Connor.
If only he could be like that all the time.
My smile faded at that thought, especially knowing we'd have to talk, and very soon. Things could not go on as they had been; something had to change.
The rest of the day passed happily, but with Connor always with us, there was no chance to start the much-needed conversation. As usual, we headed off to my parents' house for lunch, the day getting off to a great start as Jake, with Connor on his shoulders, played basketball against Dad.
Watching them interact, and enjoy themselves, I was filled with remorse for not encouraging the same relationship with Jake's dad, Billy, and I promised myself that on my next day off, I'd take Connor to La Push so Billy could spend a little time with his grandson.
After lunch, all three of them watched the latest game on the television while Mom and I cleaned up. The excited shouts from the living room, telling me they were having a great time. I watched Jake pretending to race Connor as we took a walk down to the lake in the late afternoon sunshine, and had me momentarily wondering if our little family wasn't as broken as I thought. Maybe we could make a go of being a family after all.
The headache from yesterday had disappeared but the nausea, though only faint today, persisted until mid-afternoon. A few times I caught Mom looking at me speculatively, but I ignored her unspoken question.
I knew she wanted to ask if I was pregnant, but since Jake and I hadn't had sex for almost six months, a pregnancy was impossible. I felt slightly bloated, even though I'd not eaten much in the last few days, and my breasts were sore, so I assumed my period was on its way. I was overly emotional, but I put that down to the impact of Edward's final voicemail.
Connor was asleep when we arrived home at nine that evening, and after slipping him into bed in the same state as yesterday, Jake and I settled on a movie from Netflix. I was reluctant to bring up the subject of his inattention as it was sure to cause a disagreement and we'd had such a good day.
The whole day had been comfortable, and I'd enjoyed the feeling of us being a family. For now, I didn't want to disturb the calm atmosphere that had settled around us, so I pushed away the talk in favor of the quiet evening. These times were rare and to be savored.
My little inner voice called me a coward, but I ignored it... for now.
~ oOo ~