CW: See endnotes if you are concerned with blood, violent accidents (especially involving the vulnerable), or are just not in the angst headspace right now.
"Do you want to hold her?"
Light from the city outside filters in through the living room windows. Rey had known he was there, in the shadows, watching; she could feel his gaze on them, could see the red glow from his ankle bracelet light the hallway he had been hiding in for the last dozen or so minutes. She didn't want to talk, didn't want to break him of whatever dream he was in, but the small bundle on her chest was growing restless and she knew she had to move to avoid the little one's tinny cries.
Ben lurks out, a shade in the darkened room. The neon lights from Galactic City bounce off his bare chest, then die, before resurrecting, the ephemeral darkness swallowed by light, a tide rolling against his soul.
"No. This is enough." He watches, a few yards off, his neck craning to see the new life, as if afraid to get too close.
Rey smiles, the exhaustion of the last few days catching up with her. The birth had been an ordeal. They were hurdling through an asteroid field on the Falcon when it happened. There was yelling and blood and cursing and crying, and finally, there was her, who shut everyone, even Poe, right up, as she careened, screaming into the galaxy.
"They finally settled on a name," Rey offers, as she tilts her chin to look down at the baby, her hand coming up to brush the little one's curls.
Ben's eyebrow twitches, curious.
"Paige. Paige Tico. But they'll call her by her initials."
"P.T.?"
"Petey."
As the name is said the baby readjusts herself on Rey's chest, switching her head so that Ben can see her full face. Petey's eyes open in the dark to look at him. He knows he's just a big black blob to her still, her days old eyes still weak, unable to focus. Petey blinks a few times, her eyes closing at different speeds as she takes him in.
"Petey," he repeats, and a ghost of a smile appears on the infant's face, which immediately transmutes itself onto Ben's face.
Before he can think, he's sitting next to them, his large hand splayed on Petey's impossibly small back. The baby melts deeper into Rey at his touch, and they sit like that, Rey, Ben, and Petey, for hours, as Petey's parents get a full night of much needed rest.
It rains, all the time, on Coruscant.
And Ben hates it. Should hate it. Wants to hate it.
But then he sees Rey, who pulls up a chair to the windows of their apartment everytime the torrents happen. He watches the way she curls her legs under her, her eyes wide and unblinking, staring at the water as it sluices down the panes in front of her. He watches as she presses her hands against the cool glass, her body heat fogging up in front of her, and everything in him melts, in a way that he shouldn't melt, that someone like him shouldn't be able to do.
"Do you want to go outside?"
Her head perks up at his voice, and that smile, that smile that changed everything for Ben, plays across her face.
"Are you sure…" her eyes flicker down to his ankle.
"We won't go far."
Ten minutes later he's soaked through, large droplets clinging to his hair, and he's miserable, should be miserable, but then she pulls him to her, slipping over the smooth flooring of their shared home, and wraps a towel around him, and that familiar heat blooms in his chest for Rey, as her hands move up and down his body. He feels the lightness of being, something white and hot. And on this gloomy, cold day in Coruscant, they radiate the light back and forth between one another as he takes her into his arms and lays her softly down on their bed, drinking from each other's signatures as their world grows hazy with love.
Rey finds him practicing forms in the garden. The night is bright under the full bloom of the four moons, which shine through the trees, throwing layered shadows on the ground around them, making everything feel three dimensional.
It's otherworldly, and the night is still as she nears him. There is no sound except for the soft whirl of his staff punctuated by his deep, counting breaths.
She stills on the outskirts of his consciousness, something in her tugging as he comes into full view.
It's not his staff. It's hers.
It looks so much smaller in his hands, but he wields it no less deftly.
She wonders sometimes, as she does now, if he misses it, his saber, misses the violent vibrations of it under his hand, the burn of its exhaust. But it also fills her with something indescribable, to see him handle the weapon that saved her life countless times with the same respect he would his own.
"Your shoulders are too high."
He pauses, looking over at her leaning against a tree. She unfolds her arms and walks nearer to him, until her hands are on him, grounding him. Everything in him loosens, and she steps back.
"You're used to a heavier weapon."
His eyes flash and the air changes. He huffs, tight and sarcastic, "You'll be a great Master."
She can feel anger coming off him in waves, but she remains still. Calm. She stares straight back at his black gaze. He breaks first.
"When will they be here?" He turns away from her as he asks, beginning to lazily sway the staff in his hand.
"Rose and Finn said they'd be landing around sunrise. They were able to locate four of them."
He stops. Rey can feel him take a steadying breath, and then another.
"I'm going up to the Manarai mountains before then."
It's Rey's turn to take her own steadying breath. She knew this may happen, but had been so preoccupied with getting the grounds of their new compound ready that she had forgotten to fully plan for it.
"When will you be back?"
"Days, maybe. Maybe longer. There's still natural vegetation there. Artifacts-"
"Ben-"
"Maybe ruins of-"
"Ben," his name is sharp on her lips, but he doesn't turn to face her, "Why are you running from this?"
They both stop breathing at her question and the night is still once again. Some meters off, the wind picks up, gently rustling through the tall trees.
Slowly, she circles him, until she is right in front of him, until they are almost touching, "I need you for this. I need you here."
"The Council won't agree," his gaze doesn't meet hers, instead, his eyes dart from the ground to her tunic, and back to the ground.
Rey's mouth is open, "All of this hinges on us doing this together. I thought you knew that. I thought we agreed on that."
"They would never trust me around them."
"They don't have a choice, this isn't their decision."
"They shouldn't trust me around them," Ben's gaze springs up to meet hers, timed perfectly so he can see Rey's expression harden at his words, "Something will go wrong, I will go wrong." He breathes out, "I can't-not children, Rey."
Rey closes her eyes slowly, going as still as the night. He is breathing hard now, looming, but Rey being Rey, she just clears a path in the Force towards him, her shoulders held squarely, before reaching for him.
He prepares to feel her hand gently against his cheek, prepares to lean into her warmth, but instead, he feels her grab the staff from him before she tosses it lightly across the grass.
"Sit down."
It is a command, he knows it, even if it does come out soft. He immediately complies.
Once she sees his breathing even, she turns and walks away, back to the houses.
"What are you doing?" he asks, more confused than demanding.
"Wait here."
And so he does.
A few minutes later, he sees Rey's form walking across the courtyard, her gait uneven, carrying something on her hip.
When she gets closer, Ben can see the moon's beams bouncing off Petey's black hair, now uneven from sleep, as they curl into Rey's shoulder.
"Rey, you shouldn't have woken her."
She nods, a signal that she has both acknowledged and chosen to ignore his chastisement, "She did something new today, when you were out sulking in the fields."
"I wasn't sulking," Rey's eyebrow shoots up, dubious, "Okat, maybe I was pondering. Definitely not sulking."
Ben thinks he sees a ghost of a smile splay across her face, but he will never be sure because she almost immediately turns her head towards the sleeping Tico.
"Duckie, wake up." Rey starts rubbing Petey's belly and the little girl stirs, her body jerking to shrug off the sleep. Her eyes fight opening and her head bobs, trying to wave off the intrusion, before she lets out a faint whimper. Rey whispers into her ear, "Shhh, there's someone here who needs to see you."
Petey rubs her eyes, blinking awake. Her eyes are soft with slumber, until Ben's figure unblurs in front of her, and her eyes widen in wonder.
"Unc'Ben!" she yells, before propelling herself off Rey and into Ben's arms.
He can't contain the abrupt laugh of surprise which escapes him. Petey wraps her little arms around his neck, pulling him in tighter, and he wraps his arms around her tiny form, before he realizes what she said.
"She-did she just say?"
Rey nods, "She was mad about something all day." Rey starts to rub Petey's back as the girl clings to Ben, "I couldn't get her to nap or eat and I couldn't figure it out, until she started yelling for her Uncle Ben, very loudly and unexpectedly. Turns out, she was just looking for you."
Ben folds Petey in closer to him, "Hey Petey," his voice is soft, greeting her back for the first time.
Petey sighs, contented.
"Poe is gonna be so mad," Rey's smiles, and then Rey's smile is on Ben's face.
Ben rolls his eyes, "Poe is so conceited he thought his name should have been her first word."
Rey chuckles as Petey stirs, pointing and grunting at a ball across the yard, clearly wanting to play.
Ben unwraps Petey from around his neck and stands her on his thigh, looking straight at her cherubic face, "It's late little one, maybe we can just walk?"
And Petey, she doesn't understand a word Rey says, especially the words, "No," "Please don't touch that," or "Don't jump!" but for her Uncle Ben, she understands perfectly, nodding as he sets her down. She is wobbly, still in the first few weeks of walking by herself, but he takes her by the hand, crouching his impossibly tall body down to accommodate her impossibly short one as they walk the garden path back to the house.
Rey walks behind them, their own personal procession, stopping and kneeling each time Ben stops to talk Petey through the garden, telling her the names of the plants, explaining the little histories of how each flower came to be as they walk along.
Rey suspects he is making half of it up, but is as enthralled by his tales as Petey is, drinking them in alongside her. By the time they make it back to the house, Petey's body is once again slumped in sleep, this time, over Ben's shoulder.
He lays her back in her cot as Rey comes up behind him to drape a blanket over the sleeping babe. They stay like that a while, Rey, Ben, Petey and the moon, before Ben takes a step back, his voice shaking.
"What if I-?" lose my temper, hurt them?
Rey follows him, "Have you ever? With Petey?"
"Petey is-Petey. It's different."
"It's not so different. The kids who are coming tomorrow-they all need the same things she does."
"There's so much that I've done-"
Rey stops him, her voice firm, "You've answered for what you've done, Ben. You stood in front of that tribunal and answered. Give yourself a chance. Everyone else in the Universe is, why can't you do the same for yourself?"
"Rey-"
Petey stirs at the slightly raised voices and they look to her in her cot, both taking a step towards her before realizing it.
They're quieted, looking down at her waiting for her breathing to shallow again.
When it does, Rey whispers, "They trust you with her, you know."
Ben angles his body towards Rey, a quizzical look clouding his features.
She turns her head to him, "Finn. Rose."
"Rose hates me."
"She doesn't-" Rey stops, breathing out, "Rose lost more than anyone else in the war, Ben."
"I know."
"It was different. It wasn't like Finn or I, who couldn't even remember our families. She had them, she had Paige, and then she didn't."
Ben swallows.
"She may not be able to forgive you-but she trusts you, with her daughter, with the most important thing in the Universe to her. She trusts that you would never do anything because she has seen the man you've become."
Rey grabs his hand. It's shaking under hers. They stand like that, in Petey's nursery, for seconds, minutes, silently staring down at where their hands meet.
"I'm scared, Rey."
It is small, so quiet that she thinks maybe she misheard, but she knows she didn't because she can feel it in him, but he has never, ever voiced something like that out loud before, ever.
Her grip tightens around his and she looks at him, her other hand coming up to tuck his long hair behind his ear.
"I'm not."
The gold dice sway from the roof of the cockpit as Rey pops out a panel to rewire the acceleration compensator with a long groan of frustration.
"I just replaced these fuses, there is no way they have already blown."
"Welcome to the Millenium Falcon, the biggest hunk of junk in the Galaxy-"
"Shhh! She'll hear you," Rey spreads her arms across the control panel, as if trying to shield the ship's ears from Ben's insults.
"Hey, can you check the orbital monitoring display? It's on your left, you just need to…"
Ben slaps the display at just the right angle, the angle it took Rey years to perfect, and gets it to blink to life on the first try.
Rey's head tilts back, taking a deep breath in to compensate for the shame she feels at her gaffe, because of course he knows. Her eyes tilt to his, side-eyeing to gauge his reaction, and he is just smiling into the viewport window in front of him.
"Right," she nods, before turning back to the panel, her own smile pasted hard to her face.
He feels free, in a way that he only usually feels when he is inside of Rey, but this time, it is because it's one of the rare times he has been allowed off world since the end of the war. His "unique diplomatic connections" had been the formal reason he had been permitted to accompany Rey on this mission, but Ben knew it had ultimately been the Nabberie's influence that pushed the Council over the edge.
But the feeling is fleeting, because Naboo is suddenly beneath them, and they both pause, smiles falling from both their faces.
It's still as beautiful and as blue as the first time they saw it, right after the end of the war. It bathes them in that same ethereal light, but that elation he had felt in his stomach at getting to show it to her the first time, getting to offer something of himself, of his past, that wasn't absolute darkness, getting to say this, this is my family too, it's not all Vader and Luke and shit, some of it was beautiful, all of that is gone, replaced with a throbbing nausea.
He looks at her and he knows, without having to dip into her mind, that she is replaying the last time they were here, too, replaying that night that could have changed the entirety of everything.
Something in him knows that when they get down there, the cool spring air that ran over them that night will greet them again, and he can almost feel it, the panting, the sweating, her skin under his palms as her body ran over his.
And he can almost taste it too, the nightmares, and the screams, and how, in those early days, he would wake, shaking, screaming, his mouth tasting of dust and sulfur, his mind replaying his atrocities to him, and how she would take him into her arms and soothe him as he cried into her naked breast.
"Did I ruin Naboo for you?" the question escapes him and they both break from the memories of those short years ago. It is small, and earnest, but it hangs between them.
"No," she's looking straight ahead as she says it, detached almost, she stares at the planet, before she stops herself and turns fully to him and repeats, "No, never, I just, I didn't expect it to feel-"
She can't finish, doesn't know how to finish, but he knows, and he nods. Silently, they engage in the landing sequence, her eyes focused on the controls, only betraying her to look at the lush, verdant forests and lakes of Varykino when she absolutely needs to for navigational purposes.
They land, and the sounds of the Lake District leak in as the Falcon's engines subside, and then they're there again. His mind is abuzz with thoughts, that they should have said no to this mission, that he had ruined it all and this place would never be what he wanted it to be, that it was a mistake, until he surprises himself by swallowing down his self-loathing and instead, grabs her hand.
"We're in an ocean," they're the words she usually says to him, that she said to him every night those first weeks after the war, when the nightmares wouldn't stop, but now, they come from him, trying to calm her.
"We're in an ocean," she whispers back, and they are echoes, echoes of who they were the first time they landed here, their nights here before Ben's decision.
Echoes of the way he held her body in the frigid waters as he told her to kick, and showed her how to move her arms, the same way his father had taught him to swim in the same waters years before.
Echoes of her face, softly lit and smiling as they played under the soft sheets, before his mouth found her body and her smile turned into something more raw.
Echoes of the flower crowns she weaved for R2 and Threepio, each wearing them as proudly as royalty as they flitted across the Palace, because Rey had made them.
Echoes of how she crowned him, too, in the Room of Morning Mists, kissing down his scoffs at the ridiculous gesture before kissing away his tears, because of course he had wanted one, wanted everything she ever made, would ever make, but he didn't know how to ask.
Echoes of his head in her lap and the clouds lazing above them, their kisses tasting of berries and cream as they ground themselves into the dirt below.
And echoes of that night, when he awoke, gasping, like he did every night in the First Order, like he did every night in those weeks after the war. The only difference was, after the war, he woke alongside Rey, her fingers in his hair, willing him to breathe.
"Breathe," her fingers, steady and sure, press into the sides of his face as she wills him.
"I can't."
"Look at me, look at how I'm breathing."
His eyes flit to hers, then down, watching the slow rise and fall of her bare shoulders.
"We're in an ocean," tears stream down his face but he is trying.
Rey nods, "We're in an ocean-" she repeats as she draws him to her chest. He can hear her heartbeat under his ear as she whispers, as his fingers grasp deeply into her newly forming hips, the first hallmarks of his care for her. "And it's dark, but you can see the water, and you know you're safe," he's swallowing down air, but he is settling at her words, his wracking sobs abating.
"We're in an ocean," he repeats, whispering back into her, his breathing even, but he's not pulling away, and neither is she.
"Let the waves take you out, Ben, light up the sea."
It is quiet, then for a moment. The quiet before the storm. They can both feel it but drag this moment out, their hands on each other, lips on each others skin, until they finally have to break.
He pulls back first, "I can still see their faces, I can still smell them burning, they're all still here," the words are harsh as he taps his temple too hard, "And they deserve justice, they deserve to know."
Rey eyes flutter back orbs of white tears in the moonlight, but she nods, because she knows.
"If you-if you were taken from me, I would want the person who did it to pay. I wouldn't be able to think, to sleep, to do anything, until they did." Rey's hands come up to tuck Ben's hair behind his ears as he whispers, "I can't keep doing this."
"I know Ben," and she does.
"I'm sorry."
"No, Ben. This is the right thing. Don't apologize, don't ever apologize for doing the right thing."
There is no more sleep that night. He traces her body in his hands and she clings to him until the mists from the lake settle on top of them.
When the sunrises that morning, they stand facing each other on the veranda. There are only two witnesses, R2 and Threepio, still in their flower crowns. They watch as the priestess ties Ben and Rey together, their silent vows willed to each other without fanfare.
As they leave Varykino, Ben and Rey Solo send a message to the Galaxy as Kylo Ren and the Last Jedi, as husband and wife: the Supreme Leader surrenders.
The tribunal comes from all parts of the Universe, each slow regenerating system with its own delegate.
It takes four months to get a verdict.
The Universe is weary in the years following the war. Poe, while misguided, had been ultimately right about one thing: they wanted to believe in heroes, not villains.
And so that's what they did.
"The mark of a truly civilized, enlightened universe is the ability to forgive-"
Rey's ears had started ringing after that, unable to hear anything more of their decision, unable to feel anything as her blood starting running again. When she came back from the shock, Finn's hand was in hers and Ben was still there, standing, no blaster fire hole in his temple.
There were conditions, of course, that Rey and Poe and Finn played a large part of, the galaxy putting their trust in the Last Jedi. That he be monitored, remotely, at all times, for the first two years. That he not travel off world without prior consent. That he destroy his saber.
And then it is over.
He has answered for his crimes.
She takes his hand in hers and they turn away to their new life.
They deboard quietly, but their hands are still interlinked, the memories from the past washing over them now. The lake in front of them is dancing in the spring rain.
Rey stares at it, transfixed, and Ben doesn't try to pull her away.
"It's all new, you know."
"Hm?"
"Everything's new here," he swallows, touching her face just enough to let her know he is there, but not to cage her, "The leaves, the grass, the clouds, they're all new. They didn't touch that time."
"No, it's not new, it's still what it was before," She shakes her head, bring him down with her to crouch amongst the super-bloom. They run their hands over the delicate petals, feeling the connections, the roots reach out to all other living things. "They were just in another form then, just in a different place. They've been reborn." Like you, like us.
He can feel it, too, feel how they used to be, how they are, how they will always be.
Her arms wrap around his neck, drawing him in, pressing his lips to hers, "Take me for a swim."
And he does.
"Ben! Your forehead," Rey sets her canteen down, her cheeks flushed pink with training and steps towards him, her arm out to him in a second.
"Davvos got me, that little nerfherder," he explains, as he drops down in front of her.
Rey laughs, despite herself, while wiping the blood from his brow, "We've been working on his left stance."
"Thanks for telling me."
Rey cleans the wound, applying a bacta pad before kissing his forehead. He smiles at the touch before grabbing her, sitting her across his lap in one fell swoop and kissing her back.
"I have work," her voice is breathy against his face.
"I know, just let me see you."
And so she does. She kisses him soundly on his lips and each eyelid, before she hops up and continues to prep supplies for their upcoming mission.
"How's Telis?" he obviously hates that the moment was gone, but understands the needs to move forward.
"She's just mad at the world. She'll either get over it or she won't."
He huffs, "Great mentoring there."
Rey chuckles, "I don't want to change her, you know? If she's mad, let her be mad. There's a lot to be mad about."
He comes up behind her, enveloping her in his arms, kissing her shoulder before resting his chin on it and looking out beyond to where their students are sparring one another.
She sighs contented, watching as the students giggle while swiping wildly at one another.
"They're not Jedi," she asserts.
"No, they're not."
"And they're not Sith."
He lets out an amused grunt, "No, they're not."
"Then what are they?"
"Skywalkers."
Rey turns fully to him, her whole body open in awe.
"That will be their legacy. Not rules, not hate, but truth," he continues, voice full of something more.
"Skywalkers," Rey repeats, and she turns back to the children, smiling, "Skywalkers."
"A little help here!"
Ben throws Finn his lightsaber, his new lightsaber, the one Rey and Poe had fought for him to have on these fact finding missions. Finn catches it midair, switching it on just as the dragonsnake emerges, cutting its head off with one flourish of the grey blade.
"Hey, you're pretty good with that thing," Rey winks as she runs past, cutting down smaller snakes jutting out of from the ground as she does.
"Yeah, well, call it osmosis," Finn yells back, "I trained you for long enough."
And then, they're at the end of the temple, and that's it. All they have to do is walk out, ancient Sith baddie dealt with, and go home.
"Alright, ready?" Ben asks, hand poised to open the much too large doors in front of them.
"Hey, I think this is the first time we've done something where we haven't been a hair's breadth away from death," Rey supplies, looking up at both of them on either side of her.
"Or eaten by Rathgars," Finn adds.
"Aw, Rathgars," Rey remembers.
"Ugh, Rathgars," Ben does too.
"Maybe we're getting better at this," she smiles as she says it.
Ben takes that moment to push the doors open, but the light they expected from outside doesn't greet them.
Instead their eyes move up and up, and up, staring at the obstruction, some sort of huge, smooth boulder.
They stand there, dumbfounded, before the doors groan.
The boulder splits open at the sound, a huge, wide mouth splaying across it, revealing rows of teeth leading all the way back to a pinpoint of a black hole. Two short, mechanical burst emit from its mouth, before long, armored appendages unfurl from beneath it, drawing it to full height. Even Ben's neck is strained upwards as it stretches before them.
"Well, that's," Rey's head ticks to the side, "new."
Slowly, without taking their eyes off the monster, Finn extends the saber back to Ben, "Here, I think it's your turn."
"Stop it!"
Everyone in the room freezes and tilts to the screaming almost three year old who no one had seen in the doorway.
"Petey, baby, you should be in bed."
Petey doesn't even acknowledge her mother, instead, her eyes are on Rey and Poe.
She marches right up to her Aunt Rey and grabs her hand. Rey allows herself to be dragged by the spitfire up right up to Poe, who up until a moment ago she was arguing with about the best approach into the slaver's operation on Geonosis.
Petey grabs her Uncle Poe's hand next and forces the two to hold hands, which they do, because of course they do.
"Say sorry," the little girl's voice is stern as it reprimands her elders.
"Petey, it's…." Poe, ever the newly minted diplomat tries his hand at negotiation.
"Say sorry!" Petey insists, and she, as they quickly discover, is much more skilled at the fine art of the deal than Poe is.
"I'm sorry," the words are out of Poe's mouth so quickly, Rey has to stop from laughing, schooling her features down as she looks from Petey to Poe.
"Now Aunt Rey," the little girl's deep brown eyes turn to her, and Rey is immediately stone-faced again.
"Sorry, Poe," she supplies promptly.
"Good!" Petey drops their hands before looking up at the two adults, and raising her hands as if she were calming unruly beasts, "Be nice, be nice."
"Your Uncle Poe and I aren't mad at each other, love, it's just...sometimes rebuilding a galaxy is tough."
"Yeah, lil' bit, we still love each other," Poe reaches out to awkwardly pet Rey's hair, "See?"
Petey's eyes narrow, unconvinced, before turning to her father.
"Even when things get hard, we don't yell, right Dad?"
"Right, Petey," Finn replies, his grin turning into a smirk.
"We use quiet voices. We talk."
"You're right, Petey, we're sorry," Rey apologizes for both of them.
"S'okay. Now you learned."
And that's how Petey solved the crisis of Geonosis.
Petey turns, satisfied, before spotting Ben trying to conceal a smile across the room.
"Excuse me Uncle Ben, I would like a bedtime story, please."
"Petey, he JUST told you a story when he put you to sleep an hour ago," Rose turns to Ben, "You really don't have to."
He just smiles back at her. Rose, it's still hard for Rose to interact with Ben. Poe and Finn, they are great, but Rose is cold, and even now, even years later, she only talks to him if it has something to do with Petey.
"Of course. What were you thinking? The Parade of the Ewoks? Or Rogue One?"
"Both!"
"Well, then, we better hurry."
The washing machine is broken, again.
And Rose is over to fix it, again.
It happens, with eleven people on the compound. More, if they get visitors from the now embryonic new alliance.
Rey can fix droids and weapons and vehicles, but with the modern conveniences which dot their home, she is sometimes hopelessly lost. The machinery is more or less the same, really, but there is something in these things that intimidates her more than she wants to admit. They represent something she never had, a home, a family, domesticity, and when they break, it makes those things feel fleeting.
Rose knows, at least a little, and always is over if something needs fixing.
She can see her students from the window, lazing in the grass together. They had become a cohort in the last two years, growing up with one another. Petey holds her own with the older kids, and often bests them, much to their immense dismay, but now she is heading back inside, tired from a day spent rolling down hills and playing in the nearby streams.
Rey watches Petey as she plops down to play more peacefully on the floor, oblivious to her Aunt's presence. Rey quietly edges closer to the sometimes fickle girl, before Petey notices her, immediately recognizing Rey's game.
"Aunt Rey?"
"Yes Duckie?"
"Where Uncle Ben is?"
Rey sighs. With Petey, it's always Uncle Ben. When she was a baby, Rey gobbled up snuggles, but ever since Petey learned to crawl, she would crawl to Ben instead of her.
"With your dad. They're bringing food to people who need it really badly on Tatooine."
"Oh," and that's it, Petey turns back to her toys and resumes ignoring Rey.
"Is there something I can help you with?"
The little girl eyes her suspiciously, her impossibly large eyes narrowing for a moment, "That's okay, I want Uncle Ben."
"Ouch," Rey mimes as if she has been struck, and falls from the armrest of the couch theatrically to the floor, "straight to the heart, Petey."
"Aunt Rey! Aunt Rey! You okay?" Petey kneels over Rey's laying body as she goes limp in front of the little one.
Rey springs back to life, grabbing Petey as the little girl squeals at the sudden change, before Petey's squeal turns into laughter. Rey tucks her raven locks behind her tiny ear, "I'm okay, pretty girl."
"Hm." Petey contemplates Rey, "Maybe you can play?"
"What do you want to play?"
"We can do all the letters, we can pretend podracing. Or! " Petey thinks about it a little more before her eyes go wide, making Rey's eyes widen to mirror her, "I saw you and Uncle Ben from my window. You were playing with red fire sticks. Can I play, too?"
Rey's face falls, "You could see that?"
Petey's hands go to her face, trying to push her lips back into a smile, "Why you frowning Aunt Rey? Put your smile back on."
Rey mind runs, weaving through everything that could go wrong, should go wrong, will probably go wrong if they are seen by someone other than Petey training with that saber.
It's been years since the trial, years since Ben had been ordered to destroy his old saber. Years since they stood on the cliffs of Mustafar, heat singeing their faces, his arm outstretched to drop it into the lava below. Years since she reached out to stop him, to tell him he didn't have to, shouldn't have to, destroy that part of him.
And now, this place, their home, had made them so comfortable and brazen they thought they could take it out again, just to train.
She swallows down the fear when she notices Petey's face still staring intently at her.
"I won't tell. Promise," Petey's voice is low, and more calm than Rey has ever heard it.
Rey's eyebrows knit at the now suddenly serious girl in front of her.
Petey pops up in the next instant and heads for the door, "Come on, Aunt Rey, let's catch lizards."
*Rey has her nose parked firmly in the belly of Poe's now long grounded X-Wing, breathing in the stale oil. Along with the Falcon, it is the only tangible remnant of the war they all endured together, which forged them into family. The rest of it was ordered to be destroyed, burnt down into metal which, when sold, funded anti-hunger and education initiatives throughout the galaxy.
Poe couldn't part with his fighter jet, even though he would never fly it again. And Rey, being Rey, has always, always wanted to see under the hood, knowing that Poe must have made some modifications throughout the years. He would have had to, with how fast and low he could navigate it, how effortlessly his hairpin turns were.
And now is the perfect opportunity. Poe and Jessica had taken the Falcon out for a trip after their wedding. They weren't due back for another two cycles, and their students were all back at their respective homes for break, so Rey had plenty of time to saunter nonchalantly to Poe's hangar on the far side of their shared compound to check it out.
So that is exactly what she does.
She is in the middle of trying to figure out the advantage of zip-tying the air filter to the exhaust when the air around her stops. The planet stops spinning.
The guttural wail she hears, it brings back everything, brings back her screaming for her parents to return, brings back Leia's pleas to have Ben back, it brings back her on the ground above Ben's dying body, covered in his blood.
Her legs are burning from running before she can think about anything else.
It's Rose.
Rey sees her from behind, on her knees next to the Great tree. She fights the urge to call out, knowing even if she did, Rose would never turn back.
Rey drops to her knees and skids to Rose, seeing only then what is in front of her.
Petey-her small body is contorted in odd angles on the ground. Her black curls fanned out, her little eyes glassy and unfocused, reflecting the branches of the tree above them.
"I thought she was still napping, I didn't know, I didn't see her," Rose hesitates on each word, unable to catch her breath.
Rey reaches out, "Rose it's..." okay? Is it?
It's then she sees it. The pool of blood rapidly growing under Petey's raven black hair, she had almost missed it, the blood being so, so dark. Why was it so dark?
Rose sees it too and starts to paw at Petey's body, covering the still child with her own stuttering movements. There is a howl, deep and dark, coming from Rose but Rey is going numb, her whole body slipping away from the scene.
This wasn't supposed to happen. All of this was behind them.
Petey's not moving, there are no shallow breaths, there is nothing but the ever growing pool of black.
Petey is their salvation, their path forward, their new hope. She symbolizes something that they need. She was born into a universe without war, because of the bravery of her parents and people like them all over the galaxy.
She is all that is good in their world put into a tiny package that they all could watch grow up, that they could raise together. She is the personification of their balance. All they had to do was look at Petey and know, that's how long things have been good, that's how long we've been whole.
And now she's laying on the ground, her little life fading from the universe and back into what it was before.
Rey can feel Finn and Ben running, can feel them approach, can feel when they see it, the shock reverberating so wildly it seeps down into her own bones but she can't move.
Finn's eyes are as wide as Rey as ever seen them as he cradles his wife, looking down at his daughter.
Rey hears Rose's voice as it presses into Finn's chest, "Why did I name her Paige? Why did I do that? Why did I put death on her when she was born?"
Rey catches Finn's eyes, still her first and her best friend, and sees the change in them already. The change from who he was, hopeful and caring and strong, to the shell of a man who had lost a child, who would never be the same after that moment.
She couldn't have that.
Whatever spell had overtaken her is broken as she looks at Finn fading from her too. She lets out her breath, tears falling with it, slowly reaching out to Finn, cradling his two loves, her hands meeting Petey's cool skin.
"Rose-can I see her? Please?"
She knows what she has to do.
Ben drops to his knees next to Rey, she turns towards him and shakes her head, silent sobs erupting from her open mouth.
She lays Petey's tiny body down on the ground in front of them, before splaying her hands out over the little girl. Ben knows right away what this is and he grabs her forearm.
Rey looks at him, and at first, she thinks he's going to tell her that she can't, that the last time sent her into a weeks long coma and that Petey is further gone than Ben was. But he doesn't, of course he doesn't, because this is Petey. Petey, who he rocks to sleep at night, making up fantastical stories to lull her into slumber. Petey, who he perches on his shoulders so they can pick the best, highest starfruits from the trees, and eat them all by themselves. Petey, who has never, ever been afraid of him. No, he would never try to stop her. Instead, he follows her arm to Petey's body, and places his large hands above hers. They focus, seeking out Petey's rapidly fading signature together.
Everything is light. She's in the plane, but she didn't mean to go there, just like before.
She sees Petey in the distance, walking away and screams out to her.
Petey turns around and laughs.
Everything goes white.*
Things come back to her slowly.
First, she becomes aware of the fact that she has a body again. She can feel the soft sheets beneath her arms and neck. She can feel him. Well, she can always feel him, but she can actually feel him, his hand in her own.
"Hey, welcome back," his voice is gruff and deep from exhaustion.
"Petey?" it's the first thing out of her, as she sits up, reaching for Ben's face.
"Petey's fine. Finn and Rose are with her now. Poe and Jessika just landed, they'll be here soon."
Rey's body swells with air and she grins, looking up and thanking everything.
"She's asking when she can play with you in the white room again."
Rey's grin turns into a full fledged smile and she runs her hand over her face, knowing what has to come next.
"That's going to be one hell of a conversation."
"Yeah, I'm glad you're the one who's going to tell them."
Petey's laughter carries from across the garden. Ben is carrying her on his back, pretending to be a tauntaun. Every once in a while, he mock bucks and dislodges her slightly, which only adds to her glee.
There is a scar, just above Petey's left ear, running back her skull. Rey knows she shouldn't have it, that the healing should have taken care of it, but something must have wanted her to keep it. A reminder.
Rey is too preoccupied with laughing at Petey and Ben's games to notice that Rose has come up, standing next to her and looking out at the players too.
"Kids are really good judges of character," Rose says, and Rey turns to her.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. And Petey, she loves her Uncle Ben, you know?"
"Yeah, I know."
"As much as I can hate him, for what he did, I can't deny that what he has done since, saving us, caring for your students, helping to save my daughter...there's so much hatred, and not enough forgiveness, and watching him and her, I think I'm ready."
Rey grabs Rose's hand and smiles, knowing the weight of that statement.
"He's really good with her, Rey. It's almost scary how good he is with her."
"I think he sees a lot of himself in her."
"What do you mean?"
"Maybe we should sit down."
They start training Petey with the rest of their students on her third birthday, a little less than a month after her accident.
The next day, Rey starts bleeding again.
As she stares at her moon blood dotting her undergarments for the first time in six years, she feels a tear fall from her face, and then another.
Her mind races to Ben, to the Skywalkers, to Padme and Anakin, to those little children they had seen somewhere on that distant planet of ice, those little babies that would never be, could never be, that had been trapped there for the past six years.
As she weeps, the memory she had frozen of him, her son, their son, when the saber had sliced through her, starts to thaw, until he is something real again. Something real and solid and possible.
She cries until Ben gets home, him rushing to her when he felt her panic and confusion. She cries as she tells him, shaking, until she's not crying anymore, until the shy smile on Ben's face becomes a shy smile on hers.
CW: I have offset the scene in question with asteriks (*), instead of a single line, so you know what to skip when reading. Within that scene, Finn and Rose's daughter, Petey, experiences a near death accident when she is very young. Rey and Ben work together to force heal her, which works, and also reveals that Petey is powerful in the force.
I did not only put in this scene for angst. It is an integral part of the story going forward that Rey and Ben experience this with Petey.
Also, Petey has existed solely on my computer for the last 8 months and I am so excited she now gets to exist elsewhere, too.
Thank you for reading. The angst is over! Part II will be out soon, where we get to see if I can do fluff.